online writing instructor’s study guide the online … online writing conference: a guide for...

Instructor’s Study Guidefor

The Online Writing Conference: A Guide for Teachers and Tutors

by

Beth L. Hewett

HeinemannPortsmouth, NH

B E T H L . H E W E T T fo reword by M I C H A E L P E M B E R T O N

Boynton/CookHEINEMANN

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online writing

a g u i d e f o r t e a c h e r s a n d t u t o r s

c o n f e r e n c e

Heinemann361 Hanover Street

Portsmouth, NH 03801–3912www.heinemann.com

Offices and agents throughout the world

© 2012 by Beth L. Hewett

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or me-chanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review, with the excep-tion of reproducible pages, which are identified by the Instructor’s Study Guide for the Online Writing Conference credit line and may be photocopied for classroom use only.

“Dedicated to Teachers” is a trademark of Greenwood Publishing Group, Inc.

Contents

Introduction iv

Chapter 1: “talk” in an Online envirOnment 1

Chapter 2: think Formative rather than Summative 4

• IntroducetheIdeaofaDraft 4

• TeachRevision 4

• UseWritingTutoring 5

• MatchRubricstoAssignmentsinDraftsandFinalPieces 5

Chapter 3: Be StraightfOrward 6

• AvoidIndirection,Secrets,andHints 6

• ExamplesofIndirection 7

• ExamplesofStraightforward,DirectLanguage 8

Chapter 4: fOCuS tightly 9

• DistinguishbetweenHigherOrderConcernsandLowerOrderConcerns 9

• IdentifyHOCs 10

• IdentifyLOCs 10

• BalancetheWritingGoals 10

Chapter 5: prOBlem-Centered teaChing 12

• TeachRatherThanTalk 12

• Four-PartIntervention 12

• Problem-CenteredRevisionDemonstrations 13

• TeachThroughModeling 14

Chapter 6: uSe digital SpaCe wiSely 15

• UseWhiteSpaceWell 15

• UseColors,Fonts,andHighlights 15

• UseIconsandFormattingTools 16

Chapter 7: teaChing BaSiC and nOntraditiOnal writerS 19

Chapter 8: teaChing engliSh language learnerS 22

Chapter 9: aCtiOn plan fOr prOviding readaBle Online feedBaCk and reSpOnSe 25

iv

Introduction

This study guide presents the basics of responding to student writing in a digital environment—what to do, what to watch out for, and what to avoid. It helps you use The Online Writing Conference: A Guide for Teachers and Tutors as a practical guide (the how) and is grounded solidly in research and theory (the why).

What is a digital response to Writing?

•Anytext-based,computer-distributedfeedbacktostudentwriting—whetherinatradi-tional course or in a fully or partially online course

•Anytext-basedoraudio/visualinteractioninthesamesettings

In a writing-to-learn educational culture, students write essays, reports, and case studies in many of their classes. As the instructor, we read and respond to their writing because feedback is a primary waytoteachwritingtoindividualstudents.Ourgoalistopromotestudentlearningthroughourre-sponses. Are we actually promoting that learning or stifling it? Do students understand our responses as correc-tions, editing, or teaching? Do they know what to do with our responses?

This study guide particularly focuses on how to help students read and understand the instruc-tional text that usually accompanies the writing returned to them. To do that, it refocuses us on our own written response.

The brief chapters here will help you begin using helpful response strategies immediately. They will help you spotlight common writing problems and recognize traditional response strategies de-velopedforface-to-facemeetingsthatmayhavemigratedinappropriatelytoonlinesettings.Forex-ample, brief comments and rhetorical questions used in traditional writing response can be translated to perplexed students in a follow-up classroom interaction or an individual conference or tutorial. In online settings—particularly asynchronous (not in real time), text-based ones—students often are left to puzzle out cryptic comments and indirect questions on their own. This is one of the leading rea-sons a student may be unsure of how to improve her or his writing and may re-post an inadequately revised paper for assessment.

The Online Writing Conference can help you improve your responses in traditional settings, too!

Real-time conferences [see The Online Writing Conference, pp. 25–30]A real-time conference is synchronous. It happens when two (or more) people talk together at the same time.

• Traditionalwritingconference:ateacherortutorsitswithastudentinthesameroom,atthesametable, talking about the same essay or assignment or writing concern.

• Computerorothertechnologicalmediation.



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• Telephoneconference:participantsusethesametool(thephone)foradiscussionthathappens“in the moment.”

• Videoconference:theindividualscanseeeachotherasthey’respeaking.• Computer conference: either voice, voice and video, or text-based chat or all three. Some

programsallowindividualstoseethetextatthesametime,whileararefewprogramsenablesimultaneousabilitytoworkonandchangethetext.

Non-real-time conferences [see The Online Writing Conference, pp. 17–25]A non-real-time conference is just as “real” as a synchronous conference. It merely occurs asyn-chronously;thetimelagbetweeninteractionscanbeminutes,days,orweeks.

• Text-basedteachingandtutoring:

• Email messages.

• Onlinediscussionforums.

•Web-oremail-deliveredessaydrafts.Mostoften,theresponsesarewrittenabove/belowthestudents’textasaglobalsortofcommentary(Example2inChapter1ofthisstudyguide)orembeddedwithinthewriting(Example1)orboth.

• Audio/visualconferences.Asmorestudentsbecomecomfortableparticipatinginandcreatingvid-eos,wemaybegintoseemoreasynchronousconferencesviaSkype,Camtasia,YouTube,orothervideoplatforms.Thesedependontheparticipants’facilitywiththesoftware,aswellasitsavailabil-ityandaffordability.

The Reading Problem of Online Students

Weliketothinkthatifweprovideathoroughwrittenresponsetothestudent,heorshewillbeableto read it, understand it, and then enact the advice, guidance, or required changes without any prob-lem.Foralotofstudents,that’ssimplynottrue.Forexample,thetypicalfirst-year,developmental,nontraditional,orEL2usercanbeagoodreaderofvariousgenres—fiction,biographies,labreports,even textbooks—but not necessarily a good reader of instructional text about his or her own writing.

What we write about student writing can seem overwhelming to many students.

•Wemayuseunfamiliar language about essays, arguments, expositions, thesis sentences, asser-tions, topic sentences, content development, organization, and various concerns at the sentence level. Students have to understand the meaning of these words as they apply to their own writing without thebenefitoftheteacher’soralintervention.

•Studentsalsohavetoreadforthehidden meaning behind time-worn and clichéd abbreviations, edits,andcorrectionstosentence-levelconcerns.Wemightsaythatcorrectnessisfarlessimpor-tant than the higher-order content-based concerns; yet the strikeouts and marginal comments belie our words.

•Wealsohaveahabit—formedfromaconcernforpolitenessandadesirenotto“appropriate”students’ texts—of writing in rhetorical questions, indirect suggestions, and conditional lan-guage. Language like this can confuse students, give them hints without certain answers, and suggestthattheyhavecertainwritingchoicestheyreallydon’thaveifthey’retryingtoreviseaparticular piece in certain ways.



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Our Writing Problem

Although students need help with their writing, the writing problem is ours, in that much of the in-struction we convey online is alternately overly lengthy and discursive or curt and filled with abbre-viationsandunclearnotations.Weuseconditionalandrhetoricallanguage,aswellastechnicalterms.Respondingappropriatelyrequiresacognitiveleapmanyonlinewritingstudentsfindimpossibletomake.Whilewe insist thatwehavemadeourselves clearanddon’tunderstandwhy the studentisn’tfollowingthrough,thestudentthinksthatsheorhehasdoneso.The Online Writing Conference discusses how to develop online text-based conferences—or written responses—in ways that help students decode the instruction.

This study guide—and The Online Writing Conference—will help you avoid or mitigate some almost certain communicative problems, particularly in asynchronous settings, but also in synchronous (real-time) ones.

Using Conferences for Feedback and Response

[see The Online Writing Conference, pp.30–35]

There are significant differences between real-time and non-real-time conference strategies, primarily because the strategies require different kinds of turn-taking, time lags, and talk interaction between participants.

The Online Writing Conference discusses the pros and cons of these different strategies in various institutional settings—because your setting (e.g., administrative preferences, budget, ability to engage trainededucators)tendstolockinwhatyoucanandcannotdowithyourwritingstudents.Often,thesetting cannot accommodate your personal preferences, so it is important to understand all the vari-ous strategies for online conferencing as legitimate ways to interact with students about their writing.

Knowing how to interact and teach in online settings is becoming critical for professional stability and advancement.

Characteristics of Student Writers

Beforelookingatcommunicatingwithstudentsabouttheirwritingthroughdigitalmeans,let’scon-sider some characteristics of many student writers:

•Students are not particularly skilled readers of instructional text. Although they may be familiar with strategies for reading textbooks, they tend not to have received any special instruc-tioninhowtoreadandunderstandteachers’andtutors’commentsregardingtheirwriting.Stu-dents need clear directions about what is expected of them in revision or for writing a future paper. They also need straightforward teaching about how to do these things in the writing response.

•Many writers—of all experience levels—tend to write themselves into a clear thesis. This thesis is often found in the middle or toward the end of an early draft. This means that many writers (me included) may think they know what they want to say but learn more about their own ideas through the actual writing. Students have to learn to look for their main points



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later in the drafting process, which implies having a drafting process rather than a one-shot essay-writing strategy.

•Student writers tend to submit their rough and early drafts. These drafts are too often writtenatthelastminutewiththehopeofbeing“finished.”Usually,studentsarewronginthisthinking (see the tendency to write ourselves into a clearer thesis, above). The problem of writ-ing at the last minute can be mitigated by building revision into the assignment and curriculum, as well as by requiring students to submit drafts for review or as part of the essay package.

•People often lose fluency when grappling with new ideas. Loss of fluency occurs both in speaking and writing about new ideas. Students are in various classes each term and typically grapple with new ideas in all classes, potentially causing an amazing loss of verbal and written fluency at any one time. Dysfluency shows up in unclear ideas, poorly developed content, or-ganizational confusion, and surface- or sentence-level problems. To increase fluency, we need to give students time and impetus to work out their thoughts in a series of drafts, with an eye toward revision and with clear instruction.

Keep these traits of novice writers in mind when integrating the suggestions found in this study guide with the strategies and theories discussed in The Online Writing Conference. At all times, I assume that students can be taught to write better and that they can do so when learning in online settings. The pedagogy of online response and instructional text in this study guide and book also can help you provide stronger responses in a traditional classroom setting.

Both this study guide and The Online Writing Conference focus on the most commonly used tech-nology for non-face-to-face conferences: writing to the student. It is your writing that will engage or disengage the students, lead them to comprehension or confusion, and enable reasonable steps for revision.Ifitisineffective,itwillprovidethemwithtoomanytaskstoseparateandenact.Respondingto writing comprehensibly is your job in any setting.

1

Chapter 1

“Talk”inanOnlineEnvironment

The essay responses we have used for many years were developed for face-to-face teaching and tu-toring, where we might orally explain to the entire class or in a one-to-one conference whatever we meant (but failed) to convey in the written response.

I used to give a short lecture at the beginning of a class about what kinds of strengths and prob-lemsIhadfoundintheclass’swritingasawhole.IwouldexplainanyshorthandremarksormarkingsIhadmadeontheessays.Then,Iwouldreturnpapersandentertainstudents’questions.Studentstended to have many questions about how I wanted them to improve their writing.

In an online setting, we can meet that group need by writing a shared lesson for all students about theessays.Wecanevenuseadigitalvoicerecorderoravoice-overvideo.Buttypicallywestillrelyonourindividualwrittenresponsestobeintelligibletothestudents.Unfortunately,whenitcomesto how to change their own writing, students can be remarkably confused about what we mean in our written response [see The Online Writing Conference, Chapters5and6].

Foronething,despitemuchgoodscholarshipandprofessionaldevelopmenttothecontrary,toomanyteachersandtutorscopyedittheirstudents’writingoratleastpointoutsentence-levelerrorsusing embedded comments only. Not enough written response teaches how to strengthen the writing in revision—if revision is even allowed or encouraged. Too often, cryptic language like “awkward” (“awk”)or“s-vagr”or“needsthesis”isused.Example1illustratessomeofthislanguage.

Example 1: Digital Written Response Migrated from Traditional Response

ElderCarewithoutthe“Care”

Intoday’ssociety,[cliché]elderlypeoplearelivinglongerthaneverbecauseofadvancementinmedi-calknowledge,betternutrition,andhealthierlifestylechoices(Brackett955).Theincreaseintheelderlypopulationmeans that therewill alsoneed tobe an increase in thenumberof caregivers andotherelderlycareoptions. [well said]Thegrowthofthenumberofcaregiversisunlikelytobecomeareality[huh? awkward]becauseinrecentyearsfamilysizehasdecreased,whichmeansthattherearefewerpersonstosharetheburdenoftakingcareoftheiragedrelatives(Brackett956).Also,thehighrateofemployment for women implies that there will be less [fewer]traditionalcaregiversavailablecomparedtothepast (Brackett956).Theseoccurrencesarehinderingthequalitycaretowardagedmembersofsocietyandthenationalsamplesandstatedataindicatethat,“1and2millionAmericansage65orolderhavebeeninjured,exploited,orotherwisemistreatedbysomeoneonwhomtheydependedforcareorprotection”(Bonnie1)and“about5percentofpersonsoverage65willbeabusedinsomeway”(Rudolph943).[Run-on sentence. Can you put a comma in? Also, did you quote accurately?]Traditionalview [a traditional view of what?]callsforfamiliestotakecareoftheirownrelatives,butthatmaynotbethebestsolutionforeveryfamilyandhave[who?] ahardtimedecidingwhat’sbestbecause of the lack of optionsandinformationforeldercare,familiesarehavingdifficultiesinchoosingthebestoptionfortheirelderlyfamilymembersandsochangesareneededforthisissue. [Thesis is a run-on sentence. What are you arguing?]

2 OnlineWritingConferenceStudyGuide

ThefeedbackinExample1,anasynchronousresponsethatmightbeprovidedeithertraditionallyoronline,doesn’thelpthewriterrevise.Varioussentence-levelerrorsarepointedout,butwhytheyareproblematicandhowtoaddress(andevenavoid)themisstillunclear.Littleissaidaboutthestudent’scontent, and research tells us that that kind of response is most important for writing growth.

Example 2: Digital Written Response that Teaches a Lesson

Kim, you have written a strong introduction paragraph in terms of providing background for your essay. Good start!

As you revise this draft, one of the most important things you can do is to rewrite your thesis sen-tence. You underlined the part of the sentence that you are trying to support in this argument: Traditional view calls for families to take care of their own relatives, but that may not be the best solution for every family and have a hard time deciding what’s best because of the lack of options and information for elder care, families are having difficulties in choosing the best option for their elderly family members and so changes are needed for this issue.

You have more than one sentence here, causing it to be what is called a “run on.” One way to correct that problem is to start a new sentence beginning with “because” and be sure the new sentences make sense.

More important, though, you have more than one idea that you’re saying you will support regarding a lack of options and information for elder care:

1. Families are having difficulty choosing the best options for their elderly family members.2. Changes are needed for this issue.

The first is a statement of fact: it is challenging to make the right choices for care of an elderly relative. The second is a statement of argument: changes need to occur. But what changes are you proposing? To revise your thesis for clarity and focus, let’s look at what you have written about in the essay:

• Youprovidethehistoryofnursinghomes• Therearecertainnegativeattitudesaboutcaringfortheelderly• Familieswithelderlyrelativeshaveproblems• Therearetoofewcaregiversavailable• Thereisalackofqualityinnursinghomes• Therearepossiblesolutionstoalltheseproblems

There are too many main topics in the argument, Kim. What thesis would you write to support an argument for:

• Putting(ornotputting)elderlyrelativesinanursinghome OR• Providingbetternursinghomes OR• HelpingpeopletobeabletokeeptheirelderlyrelativesathomeOR• Anyotherideathatyoureallywanttoargue?

Choose one of these topics and write a sample thesis for it that you could support in your essay.

Try these steps:

1. Rereadyouressayandmarkeachofyourargumentsusinganumber(1,2,3,etc.)orcolortoseewhere they are placed together and where they are separated by other ideas and paragraphs.

2. Figure out which argument you like best and for which you have the most support. That way, you can use a lot of the material that you already have although some of it will need to be re-vised.

3. Writeatentative(temporary)thesisforthatargument.4. Revise the essay with that thesis.5. Review the new essay draft and revise the thesis, if necessary.6. Edit and proofread the entire draft.


Example2pointsoutthestudent’smainproblem—thethesissentence(indicatedbyherunderline).It is a problem not because it is a run-on sentence, which it is, but because there are several embed-ded ideas that might be argued—as indicated by the run-on sentence. In other words, the faulty sen-tence is a clear indicator of a confused idea or content. Teaching the student how to revise this thesis has a lot to do with teaching how to focus on one primary content-based goal, and it needs a more thorough lesson to accomplish that instruction. That focus, in turn, can help the student revise the problematicrun-onsentence.Moreimportant,though,itcanhelpherrefocustheentireessayonasupportabletopic,whichistheassignment’sexpectation.

AlthoughExample1’sresponseisapooroneinanysetting,teachersandtutorsacrossthecountrywritesimilarresponses.Wecangetawaywithitbetterinaface-to-facesettingundertheguiseoffu-ture opportunities to explain the response in class or individual oral conferences. Such already weak response strategies migrate freely into online settings, where they simply don’t work. They don’tteach students enough about what to revise to create a focused, supported, or even interesting piece ofwriting.Example2,ontheotherhand,isastrongerresponsebecauseitteachesthestudentwhatis not working, why it is ineffective, how to address it, and provides the next action for the student. Both The Online Writing Conference and this study guide can help you avoid poor online response to student writing and support students in rewriting their pieces.

HowdoyourownwrittenresponsescomparewithExamples1and2?Oneway to improvethem is to write an essay of your own. Then, ask a peer to respond to it while you provide feed-back to a similar essay of his or hers. Learn what you actually do in your instructional response and teach each other how to improve. Another way is to review your responses to students from a previous semester.

4

Chapter 2

Think FormativeRatherThanSummative

Whiletutorstypicallyprovideformative assessment toward revision, teachers have the option of pro-viding both formative and summative assessment. Teachers eventually have to think of grading or otherwise evaluating student writing. Doing so is called summative assessment.

Although summative assessment is inevitable, there are a number of ways to build formative as-sessment into a project and semester. It is especially important in online classes to build in opportuni-ties to help the student form the writing.

Thinking formatively means not judging the value of the writing or its overall success in the same way we do when we assign a grade. It means offering—and teaching—strategies for continued improvement of the writing [see The Online Writing Conference,pp.145–148foraformativerubic].

Introduce the Idea of a Draft

Students need opportunities to conceive and re-conceive ideas. They especially need to learn that writingtakestimeandthatafirstgoatanassignmentisrarelysufficient.Manyteachersrequirestu-dentstoproduceanearlydraftthatmayreceivetheteacher’scomments,atutorialreview,orpeerresponse. In online settings, where students typically are isolated as they write and think, the need for feedback to their early drafts is especially important.

To give formative instruction to online students:

•Beginbywritingclear,doableassignments.Writetheassignmentinsimple,clearlanguagethatdefinesanyunusualorspecializedterms.Clearlystatetherequiredresearchand/ordraftingstepstogivestudentsasenseofhowthey

might go about tackling the task.Offerstudentsasenseofhowlongitmighttaketocompleteadraftthatincludesbackground

research and writing. Take the time to complete the assignment yourself so you will know whether it is both clear and

doable within a certain time period. Teach students from your experience. Ask for drafts and respond to them using the principles outlined in The Online Writing Conference.

•Providerevisionopportunities.Atleastonce,howeverbriefly,lookatastudent’sdraft,commentonit,andreturnitforrevision. Have students revise at least one completed piece at the end of the semester.

Teach Revision

Studentshavetolearnhowtorevise.Whileaface-to-faceinteractionmayallowyoutospontane-ously show revision on a whiteboard or using a projector, in online classes and most tutorials, the



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opportunities usually are asynchronous and thus more static. It takes more planning to build instruc-tion and models for revision for online instruction.

•Beginbydemonstratingwhatrevisionlookslikeinanearlyassignment.Useyourownwritingtoproduceaseriesofdrafts,takeyourstudents’commentsonthedraftsintoac-count, use the track-changes feature of the word processing program, and revise at both deep and surface levels [see The Online Writing Conference,pp.64–70].

•Explainthatrevisingmeansadding,deleting,rearranging,distributing,andsubstitutingcontentat both global and local levels.

•Enforce strong writing expectations by providing rich, ample opportunities to practice goodwriting wherever the course outline allows.

•Useyourwritingasamodelofthoughtful,proofedtext.

Use Writing Tutoring

If your school offers the service, consider requiring your students to have at least one interaction withawritingtutor.Manyinstitutionsaredevelopingonlinewritingtutoringopportunitiesorusingoutside tutoring services.

•Findoutwhetheryoucanrequirestudentstouseanonlinetutoratleastonceintheterm.

•Teachstudentshowanonlinetutorcanhelpthembydemonstratingatutorialandtalking(orwriting)about it. [Foranasynchronousexample, seepp.17–25 inThe Online Writing Conference.Forasynchronousexample,seepp.25–30.]

•Teachstudentshowtousethetutorialtotheirbestadvantage.Theywillneedtoknow,forexample,whethertheyareallowedtousethetutor’ssuggestedchangesandwhethertheyhavethefreedomtorejectatutor’ssuggestions[seeespeciallypp.50–55inThe Online Writ-ing Conference].

•Foraccountability,askstudentstohandintheirtutor’snoteswiththeiressays.

Match Rubrics to Assignments in Drafts and Final Pieces

Many schoolshavepremade rubrics thathelp teachersmeasurewritingdevelopmentandhelp students understand their grades. The Online Writing Conference has a set of sample rubrics andexplanationsforthemonpp.145–57.Watchout,though,becauserubricsalsocanbeproblematic!

•Evaluatewritingaccordingtothegoalsoftheassignment.

•Givethemostweighttothemostcrucialpartsoftheassignment—presumablythecontentandother higher-order concerns.

•Givestudentstherubricatthesametimetheyreceivetheassignment.

•Userubricsasbothaformativeandsummativetooltomeasuregenuinegrowthfromthebegin-ning of the assignment to the end.

Finally,evenafteranassignmenthasbeengraded,youmaybeabletoallowfuturerevision(inanend-of-term portfolio, for example), so also offer strong instructional feedback if you have time.

Howdoyouwriteformativeresponsestoyourstudents?Howdotheseresponsesdifferfromsum-mativeones?UsethestrategiesdiscussedaboveandinThe Online Writing Conference to connect them.



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6

Chapter 3

Be Straightforward

Chapter 6 of The Online Writing Conference discusses the problems students have reading written re-sponsestotheirwriting.Whilethebookitselfdealswithavarietyofwaystohelpstudentswithsuchreadingissues,Iplacetheonusonus—instructors—astheoneswiththeproblem.Especiallyinanonline setting—although also in traditional, face-to-face educational settings—if the student cannot understand our written response, we first must examine our writing for language choices and coher-ence. I call this maintaining “semantic integrity.”

Semantic integrity creates fidelity between what we intended and what our students interpret. Withoutthatfidelity,studentswillfailtounderstandwhattheyaretodoandhowtodoit.We,onthe other hand, will fail truly to teach.

Avoid Indirection, Secrets, and Hints

Language can be quite “ornery,” as Chapter 6 of The Online Writing Conference demonstrates. Semantic integrity requires that we use language in clear, straightforward, and guiding ways that students can readandinterpretsufficientlytotakethenextstepsintheirwriting.Whentextisourinstructionalvoice, it has to ring clearly to be heard and understood.

Look at your own instructional language. Do you tend to be straightforward (direct) or suggestive (indirect)?MuchofEnglishcompositionpedagogyencouragesindirectionforreasonsexplainedinChapters4and6ofThe Online Writing Conference. However, a direct, straightforward approach is more appropriate, especially in the online setting.

The first three examples below use direct language; the fourth uses indirect language.

1. This paragraph needs to be revised. This sentence provides information about the writing. It is a declarative sentence providing information (form and function match). Declaratives are helpful sentence forms for teaching online.

You need to revise this paragraph. Your lab report requires six outside sources, and you only have three. A case study like this should be developed in chronological (time) order.

2. How will you revise this paragraph? This sentence asks a question about the writing. It is an interrogative sentence eliciting information (form and function match). Interrogatives—genuine questions that begin with “wh-” and “how”—are helpful sentence forms for teaching online.

Where can you find three sources that respond to your topic? The first source you use provides a good model.

What is the title of Jacob’s article? Who is the publisher? According to APA style, where should the in-text citation be placed for this quotation?

Rhetorical and yes/no, closed questions are not helpful (see 4 that follows).


3. Revise this paragraph. This sentence requests or commands the writer to do something about the writing. It is an imperative sentence commanding action (form and function match). Imperatives are helpful sentence forms within certain contexts for online teaching.

Find three more sources that support the thesis of this lab report. To brainstorm this idea, write six or seven ways that people can get into trouble when driving

with cell phones. Choose the three or four that you think are strongest to write about. Delete the sentences that don’t provide more information about your thesis.

4. Shouldn’t you revise this paragraph? OrDoes this paragraph need revising? The first example is an interrogative sentence commanding action: form and function do not match. The second example is an interrogative sentence that both commands action and provides information: form and function do not match. The “suggestion” that results when form and function do not matchisamixedmessagethatstudentsarefreetoignore.Rhetoricalquestionsareparticularlydangerous: teachers and tutors read them as gently pushing students toward an action; students read them as literal and address them as a choice. Suggestions are not helpful sentence forms UNLESS they are preceded with the phrase “I suggest that you XYZ” or “I think you should XYZ.”

Examples of Indirection

The following suggestions were written by real teachers and tutors. Deep purple statements are the instructional comments. Bold, black, bracketed statements indicate a possible student reaction to the suggestion. Italicized bold, black, bracketed statements are a more straightforward translation of the indirect language.

Can you identify and correct the comma splice errors in this paragraph? [Nope, I can’t.] [Identify and correct the comma splice errors in this paragraph.]

When you read this sentence aloud, does it sound “right” to you? [Yes.] [This sentence doesn’t sound right. Read it aloud and fix it.]

The meaning of this sentence may not be clear. [It’s clear to me.] [This sentence is unclear. You need to revise it.]

Is the “number one stressor” you identify in this sentence the same as the one you iden-tify in the first sentence of the paragraph? [It must not be or you wouldn’t have asked. So what?] [You stated a different “number one stressor’’ in the first sentence of the paragraph. Which is number one?]

Do you need the comma in the previous sentence? [Crap, I don’t know. Do I? You’re the teacher; you tell me!] [The comma in the previous sentence is unnecessary.]

Do you see a place for an apostrophe in this sentence? [No, I don’t, but I guess you do. Where the @#$@ is it needed?] [A word in this sentence needs an apostrophe; add it.]

“Family” is usually thought of as a singular noun, representing one “unit,” so your in-structor might expect the singular verb “has” here. [But maybe my teacher might not expect that form of the verb?] [“Family” is a singular noun and usually takes a singular verb.


However, “family” is also a collective noun and may take a plural verb if the family members are acting as individuals, not a unit. Which situation fits your sentence?]

Examples of Straightforward, Direct Language

Here, the bolded text represents direct language, and the non-bolded text explains how and why the instruction works.

You need a comma in the previous sentence to set off the introductory phrase from the main sentence. Where should you place it? The first sentence in this paragraph gives a correct example. The instruction is linked to another sentence in the paragraph that provides a model for the student to follow. A mini-lesson on introductory clauses would strengthen this instruction.

Your assignment indicates that you need six outside sources and you only have three. The Oakley source seems to be your best one because it describes a recent study. Where can you find others like it? This instruction provides straightforward information about the assign-ment, how the student has met the requirements of the assignment, and where he has made a good choice in sources. It ends with a genuine question that helps the student to think about where to look for more sources.

A lab report typically has an abstract that is written after the report itself is complete. It summarizes the main issues and findings of the report in about 200–500 words. Look at the main parts of your report, find the key issues and results, and write a brief abstract in summary. Then, place it at the beginning of the report as shown in your APA style man-ual. This instruction both defines what an abstract is and provides direction on how to write one and where to place it. All the language is direct rather than indirect.

Evaluateyourownwritingresponses.Areyoudirectorindirect?Whatchangesdoyouneedtomaketobemoredirectinyourlanguagechoices?

9

Chapter4

FocusTightly

Distinguish Between Higher Order Concerns and Lower Order Concerns

Researchindicatesthatstudentscannottakeineverythingthatcouldbesaidaboutadraftandthat they ignore a good many of the provided comments as they revise, which is a reasonable enactingoftheirauthorialownership.Intruth,busyteachersandtutorsdon’thavethetimeto write such thorough responses anyway [see The Online Writing Conference,pp.47–55andpp.

133–136].Whencommentingaboutwriting,rememberthatthegoalistohelpthestudenttakethedraftto

thenextlevel.Itisn’ttohelpthestudentwritetheperfectpaper.Weareteaching students to write bet-ter one draft at a time.Thatdraftisthecurrentteachingtool.Evenforafinalversion,itisimportanttofocustightlyonthemostimportantconcerns.Wemightcallthisstrategy“choosingourbattles”or,better still, “problem-centered instruction.”

Focusinstructiontightlyonthekeyideasorissuesdeterminedbythinking“formative.”

Higherorderconcerns(HOCs)arethosethatwillmostaffectwritinginaglobalorcontent-basedway. These include:

•Brainstorming.

•Audienceawareness.

•Thesisstatements.

•Contentdevelopment.

•Introductionsandconclusions.

•Organization.

•Paragraphdevelopmentintermsofcontentandorganization.

•Usesofoutsidesourcesinresponsibleways.

Lowerorderconcerns(LOCs)arethosethatwillmostaffectthewritingonasentencelevel.Somewriting instructors call these “later-order concerns” because they need to be addressed, but only after mostHOCs.Theseoftenarefocusedonstyle,clarity,orcorrectness.Theseinclude:

•Transitionalwordsandphrases.

•Sentence-levelconfusionsand/orawkwardness.

•Word-levelmistakes.

•Grammarandmechanicserrors.

•Citationstyleissues.



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CurrentcompositionresearchstronglyrecommendsaddressingtheHOCsbeforeworryingabouttheLOCs.However,itcanbetemptingtocorrectorcallattentiontoLOCerrors.They’remoreeasilyad-dressedinwrittenresponsesthantheHOCs,asshowninExamples1and2inChapter1ofthisstudyguide.Tohelpstudents inbothareas,addressHOCs inonedraft.Then,whenstudentsrepost thewriting, provide editing, tutoring, or peer response activities that will help them with copyediting and proofreading.

Identify HOCs

Writingassignmentstendtofocusonparticularknowledgeareas(content),rhetoricalproperties,andskills that the student is expected to practice and master. Although many courses still focus on writing about literature and the particular approaches to writing that it entails, writing-across-the-curriculum assignmentstendtoemphasizesimilarissuesregardlessoftheparticulardiscipline.ExampleHOCsforall disciplines include:

•Meetingthespecificcontentrequirementsfortheassignment—topic,genre,rhetoricalcontext,and audience.

•Othercontent-basedissues.

• Having a main idea (thesis, assertion, or claim).• Developing sufficient detail, reasoning, and examples.•Organizingaccordingtothegenreorassignment.•Usingoutsidesourceswhenneededtosupportreasoningandmeaning.•Usingappropriatequotationandparaphrasestrategies.

Identify LOCs

AswithHOCs,regardlessofthediscipline,whenwritingisanimportantpartofacourse,similarLOCstendtobeimportantforcommunicationandmasteryofanassignmentorgenre.ExampleLOCsforall disciplines include:

•Meetingthespecificlengthandstylerequirementsoftheassignment.

•Addressingothersentence-levelorcorrectnessconcerns:

•Readable(well-written)sentences.• Correctness in grammar and mechanics.•Well-proofedtext.• Correct in-text citations and reference lists per required style manual.

Balance the Writing Goals

Writinggoalsarebalancedbytightlyfocusingonkeyconcerns.Whengivingtext-basedresponseinonline settings, focus tightly to provide clear feedback that leads to doable actions:

•SelectonlytwoorthreeHOCsthat,ifaddressed,willinfluencethemeaningofthewritingortake it to the next level of competence.

•Teachprimarilytothoseconcerns.

•Avoidtheurgetosneakinlessonsaboutthesmall,correctness-levelLOCswhenthestudent’scontent,thesis,ororganizationneedsalotofworktomeettheassignment’sortheessay’sgoals.


Key Instructional Strategies:

• Asateacher,composethoughtfulassignmentsthatenablestudentstosucceed.Asatutor,identifythelearningobjectivesintheassignment.

• Encouragestudentstorevise,andprovidethemwithopportunitiestodoso.

• Teachstudentshowtorevisebydemonstratingandmodeling.

• FocusformativecommentsonspecificHOCissueswithlessattentiontoLOCs.

• Teachthebiggestproblemsforgreatesteffect.

12

Chapter5

Problem-Centered Instruction

Teach Rather Than Talk

[see The Online Writing Conference, pp.97–101]

Teaching and tutoring in text-based and online settings require more intervention than is normally provided in face-to-face settings.

Especiallyinonlinesettings,teachingisshowing,notjusttelling.Itisdoingtogether—sometimesdoingasmallpieceofwritingforthestudentasademonstration.Itisinterveninginthestudent’swriting so that the student can connect the words of the response with the required revisions.

To teach is to explain, yes. But it also is to do:

•Askgenuine[“wh-”and“how”]questions.

•Demonstratehowtodosomething.

•Illustratebyexamples,anecdotes,andnumbers.

•Modelthewritingthestudentisbeingaskedtodo.

•Providedoabletaskswithinstructionstocarrythemout.

•Explaintermsandactionsthatmightbeunclear.

Teaching can involve drawing, striking out words and substituting others, highlighting, and a variety ofotherstrategiesthatinstructorsoftendon’tuse.

Finally,personalizingtheresponseiscritical.Onewaytodosoistouse the student’s name more than once.Everyonelikestobeaddressedbyname.

Four-Part Intervention

Inanywrittenconference,explanationsare insufficient for studentswhodon’tknowwhat todonext. The primary way that we teach, not talk, is to provide short written lessons any time a revision is needed. These lessons are most helpful when they follow these four steps:

1. Identify the problem;

2. Explainwhyitisaproblem;

3. Demonstrate how to address (revise) and avoid the problem; and

4. Givethestudentsomethingtodoinrevision—awaytochangethewritingandaninstructionto try a revision action.



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The “do” part of the process is like a mini action plan tucked into each and every lesson.

Think What, Why, How, Do:

1. What is the problem?

2. Why is it a problem?

3. Howcanthisproblemberevisedandavoided?

4. Dothesestepstoaddresstheproblem.

To write quicker, better, and more efficient responses, train yourself to think what, why, how, and do. Youdon’thavetowritealonglesson,butitdoesneedtobecompletetobethemosthelpful[see

Example2inChapter1ofthisstudyguideandpp.95–101inThe Online Writing Conference].

Problem-Centered Revision Demonstrations

Anotherwaytoteach,nottalk,istoletthewordsinthelessonbecomeyourvoice.Don’tbeafraidtoget your hands dirty playing in the words.

Personalizeandillustratewhatyou’resayingwithexamplesfromthestudents’ownwriting.

In online settings, you could write template lessons dealing with common problems and post them aspartofthecourse.Theselessonsonrevisionaremostusefulwhentheyincludethestudent’swrit-ing [see The Online Writing Conference,Chapter4,fortheoreticalreasons].Perhapsthemostimportantreasonisthatthestudent’swritingconnectswhatisbeingtaughtwithhowtoapplyit.Example3isapersonalized,problem-centeredrevisiondemonstrationthatusesthestudent’sownwriting.

Example 3

Thesis Development:

Thesentenceinyourfirstparagraphthatmostseemstobeyourthesisis: “ImmigrantsarewhathelpmakeAmericabeAmerica;bybeingamulticulturalsocietystandingunited.”However,youressayreallyseemstoaddresstheneedtoacceptimmigrantsinthecountry.Inyourlastparagraph,yousay:“I’mveryproudofmybackgroundinItalyandAmerica.AndnooneshouldbedeniedtheopportunitymyparentsandIhavetobeapartofAmerica.”

Roberto,youseemtobesayingthat:“America should be open to immigrants because of _____.” ButIcanonlyguessbecausethereisnotaclearstatementofyourmainidea.Youmayusemyexampleinyouressayifthisiswhatyou’retryingtosay.

Fillintheblankwithyourownideasandwords.Reviseyourthesisbywritingyourmessageasclearlyasyou can.



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ThetemplateresponseinExample4avoidsthiskindofpersonalization.Thestudentmusttaketheex-plainedstrategicinformationandfigureouthowtoapplyittohisownwriting.It’sratherlikereadinginatextbookaboutwritingandbeingexpectedtorevisefromthatpoint.Formanystudents,templateresponses are insufficient.

Example 4

Myresearchshowsthatstudentswantresponsestothem about their writing, not something that could have been copied from a textbook.

Revisiondemonstrations that includesomeof thestudent’sowntext (lengthappropriate to the lesson),combinedwiththefour-stepinterventionprocess,canteachstudentshowto:

• Reviseathesisforgreaterclarity;• Influencemeaningwithparticularwordchoices;• Writequoteintroductionsandanalyses(aswellasmodelcitationstyles);• Usetransitionwords;and• Addressseriousgrammaticalorsentencestructureissues,amongothers.

Teach Through Modeling

Another of many ways to teach a problem-centered lesson in online settings is to model writing. In Chapter 2 of this study guide, I recommend teaching revision by completing the assignment yourself and demonstrating various revision steps using the word-processing features “track changes” and “comments”[seealsopp.64–69ofThe Online Writing Conference].

Tomakeyourownresponsestostudentsmoreproblemcentered,keepinmindthatHOCsareal-mostalwaysmoreimportanttogoodwritingthanLOCs,unlessthestudenttrulyisintheeditingand proofreading phase.

Thesis Development:

Thesentenceinyourfirstparagraphthatmostseemstobeyourthesisis:“ImmigrantsarewhathelpmakeAmericabeAmerica;bybeingamulticulturalsocietystandingunited.”However,athesisneedstomakesomekindofclaimaboutsomethingthatyou’regoingtoargue.Here,you’resayingthatimmigrantsareimportanttoAmericabutthenitisn’tclearwhy.

Agoodthesisdoesthefollowing:• Usesonesentence.• Makesaclaimaboutsomethingthatneedstobesupported.• Canbedefined,supported,explained,orjustified.• Sometimesliststhemainpointsoftheessayinthesentence.• Isusuallyplacedattheendoftheintroductionparagraph.

That’swhatyournewthesisshoulddo.

15

Chapter 6

UseDigitalSpaceWisely

The Online Writing Conference[seeespeciallypp.125–33]discussesanddemonstrateshowtousedigitalspacewisely.Formatting—delivery,assomemightlabelit—helpswithreadabilityandstudent comprehension.

Howeasyisittoreadyourmessage?

Use White Space Well

Writingteachersandtutorshavebeentrainedtobediscursive.Wewritemini-essaystostudentsasopposed to mini-lessons that clearly convey our instructional goals. However, contemporary students do much of their reading on the web.

Usewebpagesasmodelsforyourinstruction.Webpagesincludeamplewhitespace;useshort,chunky paragraphs that convey smaller bits of information; and are punctuated by line breaks and bullets and numbers, among other formatting tools. Sometimes chunks of text are fully indented (or “blocked”) to set them apart. Textboxes often highlight information.

Use Colors, Fonts, and Highlights

Here are some other formatting strategies that can help you create a highly readable and focused writ-ten lesson:

•Fonts:

Distinguishyourlessonfromthestudent’swritingbyusingadifferentfont.Useareadablefontsize,suchas11or12point,inserifstyle.Usethesamefontsizeandtypethroughoutyourteachingtoindicateyourvoice.Usedifferentfontstyles(bold, underline, or italics) to indicate emphasis, but do so selectively

sostudentscanunderstandwhatyou’reemphasizingandwhy.•Use highlighting to demonstrate or point to particular concerns to underscore. Remember,

though, that a little—one color, two or three instances—goes a long way.

•Usebulletsandnumbersfreely,butinregularways.Unlessthenumbersaremeaningful,asinaseries of action steps, bullets may be more helpful.

•Indentationandtabs:

Usetabstoindentparagraphs.Usefullindentationstoblockanentirepassage.Useindentationandtabkeysratherthanthespacebarforevenness.



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•Linespacingcanbedouble,oneandahalf,orsingle.Usewhicheveriseasiesttoreadforyourinstructional purposes.

•Hardpagebreaksbetweenyouroverarchingcommentsorrubricsandthestudent’sessaycanbehelpful.Placeyourwritingbeforethestudent’stexttodrawmoreattentiontoit.

Anotherwaytomakethemessagemorehelpfulvisuallyisthroughcolor.Useblue,green,orpurpleforyourwordsandblackforstudents’words,forexample.Avoidred,asitcarriesanegativeover-toneformanywriters.Useonlytwocolors;additionalcolorsbecomeconfusingandjarring.Thecolorshould be rich and dark so it will be visible on a wide variety of screens as well as when printed. The following are sample colors and tones that may be unreadable to the colorblind and the otherwise visuallychallenged.Usingrich,dark,distinguishablecolors(notmixingblueandpurple,forexample)help readability and therefore understanding.

Avoid these tones:

•Useexcerptsfromyourresearchtoillustratereasonswhyyoubelieveinyourthesis.

•Useexcerpts from your research to illustrate reasons why you believe in your thesis.

•Useexcerpts from your research to illustrate reasons why you believe in your thesis.

Adopt richer tones:

•Use excerpts from your research to illustrate reasons why you believe in your thesis.

Use Icons and Formatting Tools

A critical element in this day of word-processing programs is learning to use shortcut icons and auto-functions. Learn to use these automatic functions to avoid problems like this:

IfIdon’tusetheindentationicon,Ihavetofaketheindentation

by (1) hitting “enter” to change lines and then (2) hitting the space

bar multiple times to achieve an indentation. You see what can

happen in terms of misalignment. If I change the font type or size,

things really mess up!

Theexamplelessonsbelowdemonstratehownecessaryitistousedigitalspacewisely.InExample5,there are long paragraphs with lots of words. That is how some students will see it, anyway. Notice also how a combination of poorly selected color and overused formatting tools makes the response both less comprehensible anddownrightunfriendly. InExample6notehow only the formatting is changed to help the student better read and attend to its message.


Example 5

Content Development:

Your essay does not completely satisfy the assignment. It is important that you follow the instruc-tions in order to learn the goals of your class. You were to provide responses to two separate sce-narios. You say in the essay: “I will be giving you two scenarios and giving you examples on how the scenarios can affect a person. I will also provide you with two references and two citations to support this paper.”

Inwhatyouhavesubmittedhere,youhaveonlyaddressedonescenarioandusedonesource(yourassignmentsheetcannotbeincludedinthecountofsourcesforyourpaperinthiscase).Yourcita-tionshouldbechangedtomatchAPAstyleandaReferencespageshouldbeincludedattheendofyourdocumenttolistyoursources.FormorehelpwithAPAstyle,checkyourhandbookoranothersource of information, such as a website. Further, the point you make before introducing the one scenario is that “Communication can go wrong as well, if you are sending off the wrong signs.” But after introducing the scenario, John, you seem to make a different and completely unrelated point about communication: “If you have a problem with an employee that works alongside you, the best way to go about communicating to them how you feel is to go to them personally.”

All of your discussion about this scenario should be CLEARLY CONNECTED, including the “six ele-ments of communication.” For example, instead of just saying that “From this example we see that there are elements to communication” and then listing and defining them, explain what exactly the barrier/s to communication were in this example, whether the channel was an appropriate one and why or why not, and what kind of feedback the sender was likely to receive from the receiver in this case.DOANANALYSISOFTHEIRINTERACTIONbecauseitcanhelpinexplainingwhattheproblemswere in their communication. That makes it easier for you to explain why you would handle the situ-ation a particular way.


Example 6

UsetheseexamplesandthoseinThe Online Writing Conference to try new ways to make your les-sonsmorereadable.Formattingenhancesmeaning.

Content Development:

Your essay does not completely satisfy the assignment. It is important that you follow the instruc-tions in order to learn the goals of your class. You were to provide responses to two separate scenarios. You say in the essay:

I will be giving you two scenarios and giving you examples on how the scenarios can affect a person. I will also provide you with two references and two citations to support this paper.

In what you have submitted here, you have only addressed one scenario and used one source (your assignment sheet cannot be included in the count of sources for your paper in this case). Your citation should be changed to match APA style and a References page should be included at the end of your document to list your sources. For more help with APA style, check your hand-book or another source of information, such as a website.

Further, the point you make before introducing the one scenario is that “Communication can go wrong as well, if you are sending off the wrong signs.” But after introducing the scenario, John, you seem to make a different and completely unrelated point about communication:

If you have a problem with an employee that works alongside you, the best way to go about communicating to them how you feel is to go to them personally.

All of your discussion about this scenario should be clearly connected, including the “six elements of communication.” For example, instead of just saying that “From this example we see that there are elements to communication” and then listing and defining them, explain:

• whatexactlythebarrier/stocommunicationwereinthisexample

• whetherthechannelwasanappropriateoneandwhyorwhynot,and

• whatkindoffeedbackthesenderwaslikelytoreceivefromthereceiverinthiscase.

Do an analysis of their interaction because it can help in explaining what the problems were in their communication. That makes it easier for you to explain why you would handle the situation a particular way.

19

Chapter7

TeachingBasicandNontraditionalWriters

Basic writers—also called “developmental,” “novice,” and “beginning” writers—are in an early stage of developing the skills needed to complete high school or college or to find work. Nontraditional writers, who may be in their late twenties and beyond, are returning to high school or college after having been active in the work force. Both populations tend to be uncomfortable or unskillful writers, par-ticularly in academic genres. Some may have very basic literacy skills that will need more than one academic term to address.

Wehavearareopportunitytohelpthesestudentsunderstandthatthewritingprocessisrecursiveandgenerative.Manybasicandnontraditionalstudentsthinktheirwords—oncewritten—arecarvedinstone,andtheyfearwritinganythingbecauseitwon’tbeperfect.Theymayhavewriter’sblockbecause of this rigid mindset about perfection and finality. These students need to see their own writ-ing in revision. A great deal of anxiety underlies such thinking and may emerge as touchiness and defensivenessaboutcriticismaswell.Ourresponsesshouldreflectapositiveattitude.

Manynovicewritershavedifficultyreadingandworkingwithinstructionaltext.Tohelp,usethefour-step instructional process (what, why, how, and do)outlinedinChapter5ofthisstudyguideand throughout The Online Writing Conference.Forlessskilledandunconfidentstudentsparticu-larly, we need to hone and practice writing responses that are simple, brief (where warranted), and demonstrative.

These students have skills that we can help them build. It is important not to misinterpret their earlierorlessskilledwritingasbeingcompletelyinadequate.Remember,theyhavebeenwriting—however successfully or unsuccessfully—throughout their school years. They also tend to write in their daily work, social, and home lives. Lack of skill or confidence in the academic writing setting is not indicative of lack of intelligence or lack of ability in all settings.

Nontraditional students are often self-motivated and want to study subjects directly relevant to their chosen careers. They may need to be shown how a writing course can help them. Some nontra-ditional students may be very comfortable asking their teachers and tutors questions; they may even demand—as part of their education—your response.

Usingtechnologyinacademicsettingsmaybedisconcertingformanybasicornontraditionalstu-dents, who are likely to be “digital immigrants.” The Online Writing Conference discusses this concern on pp. 2–6 and highlights some ways to connect with these students. Keeping communication channels open via online technologies and the telephone can resurrect a failing essay or stop a downward slide [see The Online Writing Conference,pp.56–59].

When students are poor readers of instructional text and the instruction comes solely fromwritten response to their writing, we must write carefully constructed lessons. These students must alsobeallowedtolearnfromtheirownmistakes.Encouragethemtoresubmitdraftsforadditional


guidance. Ask them to make choices and explore the different paths writing can take. Although gradesandsuccessareimportanttothem,theyneedopportunitiestoexperiment,too.Revisionisone such opportunity.

Especiallyinonlinesettings,wherewecan’talwaysinteractorallywithourstudents,wehavetolearn to form accurate impressions from their writing.

Clues that a writer might have more basic literacy skills

•Thetopic: Possibly misinterpreted, ignored, or changed.Maybeaddressedinaminimalistmanner. Digression.

•Thelength:Especiallyshortessays.Oneparagraphorfewerthanexpected.Manyshort,“thin”paragraphs—someofwhichmaybeaboutthesameideaandothersof

which are about very different thoughts.

•Thepartsofanessay: A formal, standard thesis may not be present. Some kind of main idea statement may be found somewhere in the essay. Possibly no formal introduction or conclusion. Insufficient reasons for a statement or examples.

•Sentencesmayreflectoralspeechpatterns: Nonstandard or very informal. Subject-verb agreement errors. Pronoun-antecedent agreement errors.Mixed-upusesofhomonyms. Confused usage of other common words. Dialect markers. Nonstandard sentence openings like “Being that . . . ”

•Studentaffect: Typically have weak communication skills:

• Lack confidence in reading, writing, and speaking with authority figures.• Skill levels lower than grade-level or course expectations.• Maybereturningadultstudentswithlowesteemandhistoryoffailureinwriting.

Know they have a difficult time with writing:• They are sensitive to apparent reminders of that difficulty.• They may exhibit signs of discomfort in posting their writing to teachers, tutors, or peers

(e.g., “Please tear my writing apart”).• They want help with their writing.

How can we help these students?

•Applydevelopmentallearningprinciples.

•Teachrespectfullybywritingsimplyandclearly.

•Writeshorteryetmoreexplicitlydevelopedresponsesandlessons.

•Bepositivewithgenuinepraiseforreal,repeatablestrengths.


•Beformative,notsummative(orerrordriven).

•Buildconfidencebyteachingthroughdoable,repeatablesteps.

•Demonstratewritingthroughmodeling.

•Provideampleexamplesfromstudentwriting.

•Askgenuinequestions(“wh-”and“how”).

•Givefeedbackinsimpleyetmeaningfulterms: Avoid “teacher language.”Makecommentssimpleanddirect. Avoid overly grammatical terms or reasons.Rhetoricalreasonsmaymakebettersense:

• Reader’sneeds.• Writer’sprojectedself.• Essay’smeaning.

•Chooseyourbattles:donotaddresseveryerrororproblem[seeThe Online Writing Conference, pp.91–96].

•Encouragestudentstoaskteachersandtutorsquestions.

•Useanumberofstrategiestohelpstudentsreview,revise,andedittheirwrittentextsovertime,moving from writer-based to reader-based prose.

•Urgestudentstoreadtheirpapersaloudtothemselvesandtoothers.

WhattipsfromthisstudyguideandThe Online Writing Conference make the most sense in helping youresponddigitallytoyourbasicornontraditionalwriters?

22

Chapter 8

TeachingEnglishLanguageLearners*

WorkingwithEnglishlanguagetwo(EL2)userspresentsmanychallengesthatcannotbecoveredinthisbriefchapter.YoushouldinvestigatethebroadrangeofliteratureaboutEL2usersandtheirwrit-ing. Although The Online Writing ConferencedoesnothaveasectionspecificallyaboutEL2users,muchof its content—with a few caveats addressed below—applies to this writer subgroup.

EL2usershavenumerouslanguagecompetenciesbecausetheycommunicateinanativelanguageand one or more additional languages. They speak, read, and write in the native and learned language(s).Writingmaybethebiggestchallenge.NomatterhowsketchytheirEnglish,it’shelp-ful to view these students as people with different, not deficient,knowledge.It’salsousefultobeaware of cross-linguistic and cross-rhetorical variations.

The same instructional processes that I advocate in The Online Writing Conference and this study guide generallyapplytoEL2users,butyoushouldbeespeciallycarefultousegrammaticalstructuresthatare simple, direct, and at theEL2user’s level.Usevocabulary appropriate for the student’s level,definingtermsasnecessary.Straightforwardlanguageincludesavoidingphrasalverbs,metaphoric/figurative language, and idioms unless they are defined or explained in the context of the lesson be-ingtaught.Additionally,avoidcorrectingoreditingthestudent’stext.Alessonthatincludesampleexamples and revision demonstrations should help the student figure out how to correct some of the most important language issues in each lesson.

ForthoseofuswhoarenotfullytrainedinworkingwithEL2writers,encounteringtheirwritingin an online setting can be intimidating. Learning to engage students [The Online Writing Conference, pp.120–25]andbecomingcomfortablewritingdirectlyaboutsensitiveissues[pp.139–44]canhelpusbebetteronlinecommunicators.EvenunconsciouslyheldAmerican-centricandelitistviewscanfind their way into our responses, and students can take it to heart. In the same way that our written lessons can be reread to provide future lessons, any remarks, however innocent, can sting and erode the necessary trust between online instructor and student. Good online communication is critical.

ThefollowingareHewettandLynn’s(2007)tenrecommendationsforworkingwithEL2users.These guidelines are written with digital interactions in mind so that you can begin to strategize how to work with this student population both in synchronous and asynchronous formats. Pay special at-tention to how these recommendations may apply in asynchronous essay responses, since these are a primarywaythatEL2studentslearnonline.

*(MostoftheinformationinthissectionisborrowedfromBethL.HewettandRobertLynn’s“TrainingESOLInstructorsforOnlineConferencing,”The Writing Instructor,2007.


1. Know how to “give face.” “Giving face” is showing respect for others and avoiding shaming them for their language issues. Praising what is done well can help temper necessary instructionthatcanbeviewedandfeltsimplyascriticism.Oneeffectivemethodistosaysomethingpositiveaboutthestudent’sknowledgeofthenativelanguageandthenexplainhowthosethingsaredoneinEnglish.Rememberthatasynchronousconferencesinvolveatimelagandaredirectedtooneparticipantatatime;youcan’tseethestudent’sreactiontoyour words. If you “give face,” the student may not have to “save face.”

2. Sell yourself as an instructor. The best way to sell yourself as an instructor—whether a teacher or a tutor—is to demonstrate that you know what works in one language can be differentinthetargetlanguageofEnglish.Showauthorityandhumaneattentiontolanguagedifference by saying things like “I know doing XYZ is common in other languages; however, itworkslikeABCinEnglish.”ThenextbestwaytosellyourselfissimplytobecorrectaboutwrittenEnglishregardingbothessaywritingandgrammar.Nothingturnsastudentofffasterthan knowing more about the subject than the instructor. Avoid rules that may be wrongly stated or can be interpreted incorrectly. Demonstrate the necessary writing change by using someofthestudent’swriting.

3. Make an art of clock watching. You may have to curtail the amount of material that youaddresswithEL2studentsorworkwithfewerconcernsthanyoumightlike.Inonlinesettings,asintraditionalones,youhavelimitedtimetoworkwithanyonestudent’swriting.EL2studentsoftenhavemoreobvioussentence-levelissues,whichcantemptyouawayfromaddressingthemostimportantconcept-orcontent-basedhigher-orderconcerns.It’simportantto give fair time to all, and it may be necessary and useful to schedule another meeting with theEL2studentinasynchronousonlinechatorbytelephone.

4.Find out what the student wants. Whenpossible,findoutwhattheEL2studentwantstoknow in an upcoming writing conference and then tailor your response to address that issue to somedegree—evenifit’sonlyasmalldegree.Studentssometimeswanthelpinareasthey’renotreadyfor,andit’sokaytoletthemknowthatotherissuesneedtobeaddressedfirst.ButEL2studentsoftenknowtheirweakerspotsinEnglish,and,unlikesomenativespeakers,theymay benefit immediately if you pay attention to those spots.

5.Learn how to talk to a particular student. BecauseEL2studentshavedifferinglevelsofwritingabilityinEnglish,usingarespectfulandcarefultoneisimportant.NotbeingabletowritewellinEnglishisnotrelatedtothestudent’sintelligence,whichmayberemarkablyhigh.Useappropriatelanguagestructuresandvocabularyforthestudentbasedonwhatyouknowaboutthestudentoverallandthestudent’swriting.SincethisstudyguideandThe Online Writing Conferenceadvocateinstructionalinterventionsusingthestudent’sownwriting,takethestudent’sapparentwritinglevelintoconsiderationwhencreatingrevisiondemonstrations.

6. Know what you’re talking about. Keepastylemanualonhandtomakesureyou’recorrect.It’sevenbetterifyouandthestudenthaveacopyofthesamemanualoralinktoanonlineversion.Ifyoufindyourselfteachingand/ortutoringEL2studentsoften,learnsomething about cross-linguistic differences and the rhetorical moves common to different


cultures. Get a source book for this information and keep it by your computer. If you truly are indoubtaboutanissueandcannotfindwhatyouneedtoknowquickly,don’traisethatissuewiththestudentuntilyou’veinformedyourselfaboutit.

7.Contextualize the conference. Keep in mind and refer to the parameters of the assigned writing. (Tutors should familiarize themselves with any provided assignment notes and submissioninformation.)DoingsohelpsEL2studentsseetheconnectionsbetweenthewritten response and their writing. Contextualizing the conference also means explaining—and demonstrating, when useful—how L1 and L2 users might differ in their approaches to any particular piece of writing. Demonstrate awareness of cross-linguistic differences, address only a few key issues within the response (thus, not overwhelming the student), and praise or showthatyouvaluetheEL2user’scommandofEnglish.

8. Use clear language. This recommendation is important when working with any learner inanonlinesetting.However,theEL2userismoreapttopulloutadictionaryandcheckan unfamiliar word, which means that our word choices are under (appropriately) higher scrutiny.It’sespeciallyimportantheretobeawareofthe“ornerinessoflanguage,”asThe Online Writing Conference discusses in Chapter 6; if particular words or phrases can confuse nativespeakers,there’sagreaterchanceofsuchconfusionforEL2users.

9. Proofread. Everythingyoudoonlineisopentoscrutiny.Allofit—email,chat,discussioncomments, written response to essays—is recorded and archived. You are a model for how Englishisusedindifferentgenres.Forexample,youmaywritelessformallyinadiscussionpost than in an essay response, and you write differently in an email than in synchronous chat.AllofyourwritingteachesstudentssomethingaboutwritingwellinEnglishinthosegenres. Above all else, you need to edit, revise, and proofread your work—which means allowingtimeforthoseactivities.WithEL2studentsparticularly,watchoutforlinguisticindirection,phrasalverbs,idioms,andfigurative/metaphoriclanguagethatcanconfusethem.Findmorestraightforwardwaystoaddressthesestudents.

10. Teach by doing. Chapter5ofthisstudyguideandthemajorityofThe Online Writing Conference stresses the need to teach rather than just talk. It is important in online settings to “do” with students by means of revision demonstrations, modeling, illustrating, and other hands-on activities. In problem-centered teaching, it is vital to get your hands messy with students’words;todiginandshowthemhowtoachievewhatseemssimpleandapparenttoyou.Itcertainlyisn’tapparenttothem,particularlyinonlinesettings.Itsimplyisn’tenoughto tell students that 1 + 1 = 2. You need to show them using strategies like the four-step intervention process, formatting skills, and other approaches outlined in this study guide and in The Online Writing Conference.EL2users,aswellasnative-speakingEL1users,willbenefit!

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Chapter 9

ActionPlanforProvidingReadableOnlineFeedbackandResponse

1. Provide rich, ample opportunities to practice good writing wherever the course outline allows (e.g., full sentences, thoughtfully written and proofed in all discussion responses and emails to the instructor).

2. Build revision opportunities into your writing assignments whenever possible.

3. Ask students to use the online tutoring opportunities available through their online writing centers or bundled with their textbooks. Teach students how to use online tutoring to their best advantage.

4. Developyourresponsetostudentwritingby:

A. Thinking formative, not summative.B. Being straightforward.C. Focusingtightly.D. Teaching rather than talking, using problem-centered instruction.E. Usingdigitalspaceswisely.

5. Knowyourresponsestyleandhowyoucanvaryit.

6. Practice and work with your peers to improve the feedback you give one another.

7. Listentoyourownonlinevoiceandaskstudentsfortheirfeedback[seeChapter8ofThe Online Writing Conference].

8. Contact Beth Hewett for questions and concerns.

FindBethHewettonlineat www.bethhewett.com.Formoreassistanceandtoscheduleaninstitu-tional visit or webinar, contact Beth Hewett at www.defendandpublish.com, beth.hewett@gmail .com,or410-420-0133.

http://www.bethhewett.com

http://www.defendandpublish.com

mailto:[email protected]

mailto:[email protected]

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