MUNIONWorld News & Report

Caturday, Feb. 19, 2011

A pandemic could be upon us, as the General Assembly plenary gave the appearance of widespread illness and fatigue Saturday morning with a number of delegates absent from the committee and those present beginning to show symptoms.

As the delegates began to trickle in, the threat of some type of infection started to become increasingly clear.

The exact origins of the illness have yet to be identified and is currently under investigation, but the symptoms are easy to spot. Delegates began to take notice of their presence early in the session.

“Headaches, fatigue and losing your voice just seem to be going from country to country for sure. It’s like the bird flu,” the delegate from Belgium said.

However, these were not the only symptoms that were apparent in the committees. There seemed to be an air of negativity on display as well. This aspect of the illness did not go unnoticed by the delegates.

“I was worried about the state of global health when I arrived at General Assembly this morning,” the delegate from India said. “I hope the decision making isn’t influenced when it distinctly smells like shame and bad choices.”

Although there are many rumors,

the delegate from Guatemala said he heard from an unknown source that the World Health Organization has been put in charge of the investigation over the possible pandemic, also indicating an alleged timeframe for when the initial infections began to appear.

“According to my source, infections began taking place sometime late last night, continuing into the early morning hours,” Guatemala said. “Then, apparently, there was also another round of infections being discovered this morning, prior to the morning session.”

These rumors of investigation over the infection spread through the committee with some delegates giving their thoughts as to what the preliminary

findings of the investigation might disclose.

“Maybe it has to do with stress and fatigue. People have been here for a long time doing this so it’s just taking its toll on people,” the delegate from Liberia said. “I’m sure they’ll be better as soon as it’s Sunday, and they can relax.”

More information discovered through the ongoing investigation will be given as it is received, but for now, delegates are being advised to drink plenty of water and electrolytes, get plenty of sleep and avoid any harsh light or loud noises.

Unidentified illness strikes General Assembly Saturday morning

MMUN News & Report Volume 5, Issue 6

Times of India 19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

General Assembly debates Saturday during its last session

MMUN News & Report Volume 5, Issue 6, Page 2

North Korea invades over Big Macs

Editor’s Note: The article is a work of fiction, and it mean for humourous purposes only.

The Saturday morning session of the Security Council sought to resolve North Korean aggression against South Korea.

The United Kingdom began by in-forming the council that an unnamed intelligence asset known only as 007 had discovered that the real reason for the invasion by North Korea is their lust for Big Macs.

This alarmed the Western bloc, fearing that this behavior would con-tinue throughout the Third World. To deter this unrest and protect their great-est accomplishment, the industrialized nations demanded immediate action.

Following a 10-minute caucus to determine the best course of action in light of this new information, the del-egate of Russia expressed her resolve to blow stuff up.

This was approved of by Mexico, which suggested the use of nuclear weapons because they are “so freak-ing awesome.”

The United States quickly re-sponded that it could blow up way more stuff up than the Russians.

After a short fist fight the delegate from Austria said he hated the egotis-tical permanent five, and they would rather let the whole world get nuked rather than to give up the slightest bit

of power. On an unrelated note, the council

received a news flash that the Russian army had invaded Austria. Austria will no longer be represented in the UN.

The annexation of Austria encour-aged the remaining smaller states to band together. This effort was lead by Gabon, which called on the world to live together in peace.

The United States responded by asking what a “Gabon” was and if it could be eaten. The response from Gabon was ruled to be in violation of diplomatic decorum. Gabon and the US “took it outside.”

Mindful of the crisis on the Korean Peninsula, China called on the body to ensure peace in this region before starting new wars.

Nigeria and Uganda then submit-ted a resolution, which authorized the

world’s nuclear powers to reprimand the unfriendly actions of North Korea.

This action also inspired a Security Council pool on which of the P-5 pow-ers would create the largest mushroom cloud over Pyongyang.

An unnamed source said the boys down in Vegas were giving 3-1 odds in favor of Russia. Japan said they would take that bet.

After an unanimous vote in favor of the resolution, France motioned to recess the Security Council indefinite-ly on the basis that world peace can be achieved.

Poland and Turkey voted against this on the basis that they needed a chance to win their money back.

France responded that France didn’t even bet on itself.

Pan-African News Agency 19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

Security Coucil delegates have some fun during their final session on Saturday.

From the Director: The delegates and staff of the International Press Delegation wishes to thank everyone for such a great conference. We hope that you have enjoyed this year’s issues of the MMUN World News and Report. We hope you find this last issue as entertaining and fun as we did. Have a safe trip home and see you next year.

On the final day of the 51st Model United Nations Conference in St. Lou-is, delegates met in a General Assem-bly in order to discuss and vote upon final resolutions.

However, as the day draws to a close and closing ceremonies ap-proach, many delegates remember their time spent at the conference nos-talgically.

There were many aspects that del-egates enjoyed and appreciated, rang-ing from particularly interesting de-bates and discussions to after-hours activities planned by conference staff.

“My favorite part of the conference was the delegate dance. I really appre-ciate that my money went to UNICEF. I also really enjoyed having the time

to relax after two long days of discus-sion,” a delegate from the Republic of Congo said.

Profits from the delegate dance held Thursday night went to support UNICEF USA’s Tap Project, which helps fund programs for safe drinking water in developing countries.

Other delegates found the skills that they acquired and the variety of topics discussed to be very rewarding.

“I’ve done this for three years, and I think the best part for me is just get-ting the experience of acting profes-sional,” Peru said. “You get to work in a committee with a smaller group of people, and then when you come into the General Assembly, you have infi-nitely more people. You get other sub-topics that you don’t necessarily get to talk about.”

As the 51st conference draws to a close, many delegates appreciate the

experiences that they have had that have allowed them to grow and en-hance their public speaking and debate skills.

The experiences of this conference bring people from the Midwest togeth-er through a common interest in poli-tics and solving current global issues.

Also, people were brought togeth-er through social situations, in which delegates must work together to create and agree upon resolutions.

Many delegates appreciate the experiences that the 51st Model UN Conference has brought, and look for-ward to next year’s conference.

“I’ve met so many great people and had so many experiences that I would not have had if I hadn’t decided to come to this conference. Overall, it was a great experience,” a delegate of the Republic of Congo said.

Delegates remember time spent at conference

MMUN News & Report Volume 5, Issue 6, Page 5

BBC19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

General Assembly wraps up debates on resolutions

The last day of the 51st Model United Nations Conference has come, and delegates were antsy to make sure all their resolutions make it to the floor by the end of the last session today.

First and Fourth committees had moved their resolutions to the floor, both of which were amended and passed Friday.

Second Committee brought their resolutions to the floor Saturday morn-ing regarding the issue of the impor-tance of technology on social culture.

The resolution emphasizes the role of science and technology for devel-opment in the field of information and communication between globalization

and interdependence. The resolution asks for sustainable practices that em-phasize and embrace technology in order for countries to reach their full potential.

Second Committee asked all mem-ber states for a long-term phasing practice to help sustainable develop-ment for gender equality.

Sweden said the benefits of what all broadband technologies can bring to rural communities by educating them on the modern practices of those technologies.

All resolutions made by Second Committee were voted on and passed by the General Assembly.

Panama said they are happy with the outcome of the voting and they were in support of most of the resolu-tions that were passed.

“We believe they (plenary)

strengthened all the resolutions that were passed (in subcommittee),” the delegate from Panama said.

India said most of the resolutions that passed had no negative effect against other countries. The resolu-tions involving the World Bank and micro-financing left India wonder-ing if certain items should have been passed.

“We think there are more efficient ways, and we don’t want to be obli-gated to follow the condition of those organizations,” the delegate from In-dia said.

With all the resolutions from Sec-ond Committee passed and amended, they said they hope to be able to con-tinue to improve the lives of the peo-ple with a little help from technology.

CNN19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

MMUN News & Report Volume 5, Issue 6, Page 3

Water fairies are real

During ECOSOC plenary on Friday, the delegates were treated to one of the most unique and hilarious speeches thus far.

“We need to do the job of the water fairy and bring clean water to the chil-dren of the world,” the delegate from Brazil said.

While discussing the UNICEF topic of clean water, the delegates said they needed to add something special.

“None of us are in UNICEF so we were reviewing the topic on water technology. We needed something clever and unique,” Brazil said.

Thus, the water fairy was born.

The delegate came forward to make his speech and produced a bottle of “water” claiming to be parched. He used this as a way to transition into the issues surround the lack of clean wa-ter.

“We made it our goal to make people laugh,” Brazil said.

Well guys, you succeeded. The entire room roared with laugh-

ter. This included the honorable chair that fought very hard to contain her-self.

When the delegate from Brazil stepped up to the microphone no one was expecting this approach to the is-sue.

“I was nervous, but I felt better with an opportunity to help people under-stand this often confusing topic of wa-ter,” Brazil said.

What started as an intriguing ploy to bring the topic into “layman’s terms” became one of the most memorable moments of plenary.

It was decided by some of the del-egates that the water fairy should be part of the “We Exist” support group along with Santa Claus and the Dr. Pepper guy.

Although this was meant as a way to help the other delegates to understand the need of clean water for children, and it accomplished this, it also served as a way to entertain and reach the goal they had presented for themselves.

But the best part: there really is a wa-ter fairy, also known as a water berry. It is a fruit that grows on trees with a crisp, crunchy texture and a tart taste.

Bet you didn’t know that one, Brazil.

Deutsche Welle19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

NATO takes over Security Council Friday evening

The recent attempt to take over the Greek island of Cyprus by the nation of Turkey has caused uproar in the Historical Security Council.

The uproar came mainly from the NATO members inside the Security Council.

NATO broke off into a separate group and began taking over the coun-cil itself much to the dismay of many of the delegates.

“This is Western Imperialism at its finest,” the USSR delegated said.

NATO officials have begun talk-ing with Turkey and Greece remind-ing both of who they are dealing with, especially the United States, who constantly remind delegates that they have powerful nuclear weapons. The nuclear weapons are already aimed at

Turkey, Greece and even the UUSR.The Turks and Greeks have begun

talks pursuaded by peer pressure. After finding out that the US was

involved, Turkey removed their troops from the Cyprus shores.

Greece and Turkey have declined comment for fear of making the US upset. And as we all know, if the US isn’t happy, then nobody is happy.

The NATO group has taken over the Security Council because of a pos-sible risk to global security. The only group in disagreement with NATO’s actions is the USSR, yet the Soviets are still cowering in the corner far away from the NATO group.

The diplomatic pressure has been so great that various other delegates have had their voting rights taken away and have now resorted to getting coffee for the United States.

But please don’t be offended, Fox

News didn’t even exist in 1967. Ignore everything that I have just

said if you wish ... I’m just a figment of your imagination.

Fox News 19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

Photos from conference wil l be posted on the Facebook page

MMUN News & Report Volume 5, Issue 6, Page 4

ECOSOC passes 3 resolutions

The final session of ECOSOC for MMUN 51 was spent in debate and voting on resolutions.

“B-1 reaffirms the rights of indig-enous people to function in their coun-try,” the delegate of Ukraine said.

The resolution plans to help in-digenous people by teaching them improved methods of farming. A lot of them still use the slash-and-burn method, and so the resolution advo-cates for more efficient and environ-mentally friendly practices.

“B-1 also provided sustainable de-velopment which is going into urban-ized and ruralized areas and helping

them to run more efficiently to stimu-late the economy, and therefore the country is able to sustain themselves better,” Ukraine said.

There were a lot of issues concern-ing some key points in the resolutions. Some said they thought the resolution lacked short-term goals.

“We understand the need (for) lon-ger term goals because this is a long-term issue. However, there needs to be some short-term goals as well,” the delegate from El Salvador said

El Salvador was not alone in this statement.

“Honestly we need both (long-term and short-term goals) in place because if nothing is done now, then it’s not going to benefit anything in the long run,” the delegate of Ukraine

said.Others said their countries could

benefit from the support of the UN’s clean-up program.

“By asking for money from those who already support the UN … it al-lows the poorer countries to bring their environmental concerns to the front and do something about them,” Ukraine said. “Ukraine supports B-1 because (our country) has major envi-ronmental issues and no funding.”

The delegates congregated mostly towards the resolution that defines re-demption for environmental clean-up in poor countries. The delegates were trying to find a way to benefit all coun-tries and help ease the burdens brought upon by lack of environmental sus-tainability.

Deutsche Welle19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

The environmental effects of ur-ban development became the topic of debate as the ECOSOC sub-committee was brought back to the floor Friday morning.

Similar to their debate on micro-finance, urban development was just as contentious.

Three resolutions were passed by the sub-committee.. Each resolution appealed to a different bloc of coun-tries, and compromise is unlikely. Developed nations are at odds with developing nations, and energy-pro-ducing countries are slow to accept any action.

The content of the resolutions fo-cuses on two main pieces of urbaniza-tion: the development of green energy

and limiting the use of oil and natural gas.

The United States, Russia and China have put aside their obvious dif-ferences and found middle ground on the topic. All three countries support the sub-committee’s resolution that supports future investments in green energy but lacks any serious language on fossil fuels. Setting goals for self-sufficient cities was also included in the language of the resolution.

Developing nations have shown support for a resolution that upholds the mandates and goals of the Kyoto Protocols and calls for a new interna-tional conference to be held.

The resolution recommends coun-tries reduce their carbon emission to 20 percent from 5 percent. The time-line for these reductions was not di-rectly laid out.

Energy-producing giants, includ-

ing the US, Russia and China, opposed the resolution due to a drastic reduc-tion in carbon emissions.

“The Kyoto Protocols are obso-lete,” Russia said.

In an act that is seldom seen, the US agreed with Russia and said, “We (the US) whole heartily agree with the Russian Federation.”

No resolution received over-whelming support from the body and passing any of the three will be diffi-cult. Delegates are still optimistic that they will pass at least one resolution by the end of the day.

“We are definitely capable of pass-ing all three resolutions. We have proven we are capable by the work completed yesterday,” Norway said. “We are hopeful that the body could pass resolutions for all three topics by adjournment.”

Xinhua19 February 2011ST. LOUIS

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