mr s. l adefemi deputy registrar obafemi awolowo university ile-ife by you and your boss- a...

Mr S. L AdefemiDeputy Registrar

Obafemi Awolowo UniversityIle-Ife

By

You and Your Boss- A Pragmatic Recipe for Managing Interpersonal Relationship at WorkFriday, April 21, 2023

Introduction- DefinitionRelationship- A Leader’s Network

What a leader contributesWhat do the people contribute?

The Building Blocks of RelationshipsTrustLove/CareHonour/RespectUnderstanding the People & People’s Understanding & Knowledge of the Leader

Criticism Destroys Relationship- How to Cope with Criticism

Presentation Outlines


Overview

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity”

Dele Carnegies on “Relationship”


INTRODUCTION- DEFINITIONS


(i) Boss - “ A person who is in charge of other people at work and tells them what to do”The status symbols – fully air-conditioned office at top floor office well rugged with big mahogany desk, chauffeur driven car, reserved car parking space etc.

Effects of Status Syndrome•creates pride, foster vanity and conceit•widens gap in relationship between the leader and the rest•access to boss strictly limited•boss singled out for praises

Introduction- Definitions


Introduction- Definitions(ii) Relationship - “ A mutual sharing of life between two

or more persons” There is mutuality- everybody contributing to the interaction(iii) Pragmatic - “ Solving problems in practical and sensible ways rather than having fixed ideas and theories”

(iv) A Servant - LeaderServant Leader: One who can be trusted by power without being corrupted by it. Leadership beyond the status syndrome as exemplified by Christ in St John Chapter 13 and 21.


Relationships – A Leader’s Network


•A good leader after conceptualising the vision into goals, articulates them and share them with people who are willing to follow him towards achieving the goals i.e Relationship. •He is involved in the dynamic of relationship in two ways – between himself and the people and among the people.•There is mutuality. What does the leader contribute and what do the people contribute?

Relationships- A Leader’s Network


(a) What a Leader ContributesDevelops and conceptualises visionClarifies and articulates the goals and objectivesEnsures long range plans and organisational structuresAllocates responsibilities and determines accountabilityDetermines means to monitor results, progressActs as key resources for solving problemsCommunicates goals and objectivesMotives, inspires, encourage and rewards efforts and disciplines unsatisfactory performanceTakes final responsibility for resultsRepresents the organisation in the wider environment



(b) What do People Contribute?Provide time, efforts and the operational talents needed to manage the organizationCarry out the day-to-day activities



The Building Blocks of Relationship


Overview

The four elements that constitute the basic building blocks of relationship are:TRUST – The most fragile of the fourLOVE/CARE – The most rugged and enduringRESPECT & HONOUR – The most neglectedUnderstanding or Knowledge- the one that takes the longest time.


TRUST“It is the emotional glue that builds followers and leaders together. The accumulation of trust is a measure of the legitimacy of leadership”

Warren Bennis & Burt Nanus

(a) What are People Trusting•The judgement of the leader•The resourcefulness of the leader•The perseverance of the leader•The integrity of the leader


TRUST(b) Suggestions for Building

Trustworthiness in the People• Play to their strengths and not weakness• Build trust gradually and express your

confidence in them• Give them another chance if they fail• Give them opportunity and reward

responsibilities


TRUST(c) Building People Trust in you as the Leader•Dependability – Be reliable, Keep promises•Honesty – Don’t dress up a message in different ways for different people•Loyalty – Be loyal which means “ I will be there in bad times”, “I will be for you even if everyone is against you”, and “ I will defend you even at the cost or risk to myself”•Character – Do not compromise principles under any external pressure or for the sake of expediency•Fairness – Must be just, and equitable. Avoid favouritism, partiality and discriminations


TRUST(c) Building People Trust in you as the Leader•Capability - Be able to demonstrate ability and resourcefulness in tackling problems without losing courage.•Cheerfulness - Avoid complaining during bad times. Remember nobody forced you to be a leader•Confidence – Have confidence in God, yourself and in th people.


LOVE/CARECare is the practical expression of love. Mutual care leads to

harmony and fruitful interaction.Leader’s care of the people include concern for the following

issues:• Availability of facilities, equipment, training programme,

health facilities etc to operate. • Match jobs to individual’s ability, gift and strength• Give active encouragement, opportunities to develop

potentials for personal growth of career• Recognise personal goals, interests and needs.


LOVE/CARE• Adequately reward efforts and skills that promote

financial needs• Show understanding, be compassionate and show

practical responses to personal needs.• Forgiveness – No relationship survives let alone flourish

without willingness to forgive. Avoid to blaming, make amend when you go wrong.

• Generosity – A leader should be unselfish, be open-minded, great spirit and large-hearted.


HONOUR/RESPECTWhen you honour or respect a person, it means you are

recognizing his value, work or dignity.(a) What Give Meaning to Honour?• Acceptance - Make people feel they are important and

worthy participants in the organisation.• Affirmation – Enhance people sense of self work by

emphasising on their strengths and abilities. • Appreciation – Though subjective, it expresses pleasure

or satisfaction with performance.• Admiration – Draw attention to people’s achievements.• Acknowledgement - Recognise and praise publicly


HONOUR/RESPECT(b) How do you Show Honour or Respect?People give of their best only when they feel respected by:• Expressing in words(spoken or written) commendation,

praises or appreciation for job well done.• Acknowledging people’s presence in the organisation and

supporting them publicly.• Taking them into confidence- e.g seek their opinions

regularly, request for proposals, explain reasons for decisions to them.

• Sharing bad as well as good news with them.• Treating them as responsible adults, and don’t let them get

away with shoddy performance.• Giving them attention and listening ears.You and Your Boss- A Pragmatic Recipe for

Managing Interpersonal Relationship at WorkFriday, April 21, 2023

HONOUR/RESPECT(c) What Damage Respect?Respect once lost is very difficult to win back. Here are some

of the things in leader’s performance or character that can make him lose the respect of the people:

• Inadequacy, incompetence and repeated failures• Irresponsibility or selfishness• Self-pity and self-indulgence• Inability to stand up under pressure


HONOUR/RESPECT(c) What Damage Respect?• All forms of domination or manipulations• Disparagement, nagging and fault-finding• Embarrassing people in public• Ignoring or disregarding people’s rights and all forms of

exploitations


UNDERSTANDING AND THE KNOWLEDGE OF PEOPLE & PEOPLE’S UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE THE LEADER.

It is important that leaders should know and understand people they are to lead. So also the people must know and understand their leaders. For the other three(3) elements of relationship – Trust, Love/Care, Respect/Honour to survive, there should be the Knowledge and the Understanding of the individual because:


UNDERSTANDING AND THE KNOWLEDGE OF PEOPLE & PEOPLE’S UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE THE LEADER.

• You cannot care for somebody you do not know because you may totally misunderstand what his needs are;

• You cannot trust somebody you do not know because trust may prove to be sheer and reckless presumption

• You cannot truly honour somebody you do not know because it would be like giving value to an unknown individual


UNDERSTANDING AND THE KNOWLEDGE OF PEOPLE & PEOPLE’S UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE THE LEADER.(a) Self-Disclosure

Knowledge and understanding of an individual is dependent on self-disclosure

• Create an atmosphere of mutual trust and acceptance

• Encourage people to share their real feelings• Openness on the part of both leaders and people


UNDERSTANDING AND THE KNOWLEDGE OF PEOPLE & PEOPLE’S UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE THE LEADER.(b) Factors that Hinder Understanding• Lack of communication• Lack of self-knowledge or self-awareness• Personality trait e.g shyness, feeling of inferiority• Difference between parties e.g education, status,

age• Inability or unwillingness to listen properly• Hasty judgment and conclusion


CRITICISM DESTROYS RELATIONSHIP- HOW

TO COPE WITH CRITICISM


Criticism can come from outside the organisation. It is easier to deal with criticism from outside than those within. Criticism from within snacks of disloyalty and rebellion(a) Why Does Criticism ArisePeople usually resist change. The status quo will also have its defendersPeople cannot see the future as clearly and as compelling as the leaders



Lack of information to the peoplePeople see genuine danger and mistakes which leaders do not seeLeaders and people is perceptions of situations differLeadership invokes jealousy and envy among those who also want to leadIt is easier to criticize, find faults than create“ The ability to see faults is a cheap and common gift” says Gene Edwards



(a) How to Handle Criticism to Maintain RelationshipDon’t reject it out of handDon’t be discouraged by itDon’t be ruled by it and change your principlesDon’t personalise itDon’t allow your emotions to dictate your responsesDon’t become the personal focus of a divisionDon’t allow people to be attached through you.



Thank you for Listening

S. L. AdefemiOAU, Ife


mr s. l adefemi deputy registrar obafemi awolowo university ile-ife by you and your boss- a...

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