TABLE OF CONTENTS for CD

TITLE....................................................................................Page in Guide

Did You Know...............................................................................................................2

What are “Habitudes”?..................................................................................................6

Some Examples of Habitudes........................................................................................7

How Can You Become Wealthy....................................................................................8

..........................................................................................................................................

Bill, Bobby and Their Bicycles....................................................................................14

Gina’s “Spending Habitude”........................................................................................15

` Activity 1: How do you see yourself?.........................................................................19

Activity 2: Money messages; Money stories..............................................................20

Activity 3: What is the message?.................................................................................21

Activity 4: Sample writing topics...............................................................................22

Spontaneous Yellow Interpretation Card.....................................................................28

Spontaneous Suggestion Card......................................................................................29

Sample of Spontaneous Interpretation Card................................................................28

Activity 5: Card Results..............................................................................................30

Activity 6: What does this all mean? .........................................................................31

Focusing on a Goal / SMART goals...................................................................32 & 33

Identifying statements that support and sabotage goals...............................................34

What caused the change/The Situation........................................................................36

Setting a Personal Goal................................................................................................37

Activity 7: What’s Your Plan?.....................................................................................38

Activity 8: Plan to Overcome Obstacles......................................................................42

Key Question about Habitudes....................................................................................44

Asking who, what, where, when and how questions...................................................48

Contact Information for National Resources...............................................................49

Table I: Typical money behaviors associated with each habitude...............................46

Activities CD to Accompany

Money Habitudes for Teens™A Guide for Educators,

Youth Leaders and CounselorsWorking with Money-Related Issues

Syble Solomon

This CD was provided to make it easier for educators, youth leaders and counselors to adapt and individualize activities for their programs. The following pages can be copied or adapted as overheads, handouts and assignments for the classroom and non-profit organizations with teenagers without permission. For any other use of the materials, contact the author, Syble Solomon, 888-833-4331 or syble@lifewise.us for permission.

LifeWise ProductionsRockville, Maryland

Did you know…

The average teen spends about $5408/year and $104 per week?Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU), 2005 study.

In 2001 teens (12-19) spent more than $172 BILLION dollars?Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU)

21% of teens have their own credit card or have access to their parents' credit card?*

16% of teens have an ATM card?* Although teens and young adults from 13-24 save approximately

25% of their money, they are saving for a specific purchase and are not saving for the future which is different than adults’ definition of saving?*

Young adults between 20 and 24 represent the fastest growing segment of bankruptcy filings?*

Parents, Teens and Money

70% of parents said they talked with their teens about credit and using credit cards wisely… but less than 44% of their own teenage children said their parents had talked to them about credit cards?*

71% of teens reported learning about money management from parents ….but only 26% of parents (of children 5-26) reported feeling prepared to teach their kids about basic personal finances?*

More than 83% of high school and middle school students expected to do back- to-school shopping with their parents....but 91% said their parents never talked about finances related to going back-to-school?*

Less than 40% of parents said they talked about credit cards, loans and debt and their own family finances with their kids...and even fewer talked with their children about how to invest their money?*

80% of parents believed that schools provided classes on money management and budgeting…. and 43% of parents believed that schools should be doing more to educate kids about money?*

* Indiana State University (www.networksfinancialinstitute.org)

What are “habitudes”?

“Habitude” is a real word that is attributed to Benjamin Franklin. It is a combination of the habits and attitudes which silently influence all of our decisions and actions.

Attitudes are our subconscious thoughts and feelings. Habits are our unconscious patterns of behavior that are acquired through frequent repetition over time.

Both habits and attitudes are automatically triggered by people, places, events, experiences and situations. These automatic thoughts, feelings and behaviors are our “Habitudes” and they are so much a part of who we are, we don’t even notice them.

Habitudes are like the operating system on your computer. It is always working in the background allowing us to receive some e-mail while filtering out others and allowing us to open programs and documents to work on them. We do not pay attention to the operating system or question it unless there is a problem, even though if we understood it better, we might be able to use and maintain our computers more efficiently.

Like operating systems, habitudes are always running in the background of our brain and helping us quickly and efficiently take care of our normal routines without having to stop and think about them. Imagine how impossible it would be to get through the day if we had to think about every single thing we did from the moment we woke up—like which hand to use to hold the toothbrush and where to find the toothpaste. Although habitudes influence the way we make decisions and behave, we usually aren’t aware of them because they are so automatic and happen so quickly and naturally.

“Habitudes” are present in every aspect of our lives, and typically, they have their roots in our past. They are:

primarily determined by our personality, family, and personal experiences. influenced by our social group, community standards, government policies, the media and

our religious or spiritual upbringing.

Here are some examples of habitudes:

What happens when you see a dog? Your attitude is what you automatically think or feel. Do you

want to pet it or are you afraid? This is typically determined by: Your own experience with dogs. How your parents felt about dogs. Your culture and its teachings about dogs.

Your habit is your automatic behavior when a dog approaches you.

You may call the dog to you and pet it. You may pull away to avoid it or run away. You may try to scare it so it will run away.

What about your charitable-giving habitude? Were you raised with the attitude that it is your responsibility to help others who are less

fortunate even if you have little yourself? Then, perhaps, your habit is to automatically share whatever you can and to be generous with your money or gifts.

Were you raised to believe that you are entitled to whatever you have because your family worked hard to earn it? Then your attitude might be that giving to others takes away their incentive to work hard and creates a harmful dependency. Your habit may be to work hard yourself and not give help to others.

What are other examples of habitudes related to money? If your family lost all their savings in another country because the banks were owned by a

corrupt government, your attitude may be that financial institutions are not trustworthy. Your habit may be that you will not listen to any information to understand how interest works and how to invest money so it can grow.

If your attitude is that $10 is not much money, your habit may be to stop and buy a snack, a drink, a DVD on sale, or treat your friend to a sandwich without thinking twice since it’s only a few bucks for each purchase.

How Can You Become Wealthy?

Did you know your money habitudes are actually more important in determining how much money you will ultimately have than the amount of money you earn, inherit or win? All the little decisions you make every day—without even thinking about them—affect how much money you will have for the big things.

Oceola McCarty, a woman who washes clothes for a living in Mississippi, saved enough money to donate $150,000 to the University of Mississippi for scholarships. Suzanne Mullins won $4.2 million in the Virginia lottery and not only lost it all, but is now in debt. Ken Proxmire won $1 million in the Michigan lottery and ended up filing for bankruptcy within a few years.

How Do Money Habitudes Develop?

Use the following information to understand the six major sources that influence the way people respond to money. You could use these notes for a mini-lecture but to make it more interactive, ask them to give examples of what could influenced the way people think about money. You can also give them the six major influences listed below and have them provide examples.

Your money habitudes determine how confident and competent you are with managing your money. They are the result of many messages you received as you were growing up. Sometimes the messages are very direct—like your dad saying you are irresponsible and waste your money. Other times they are indirect—like noticing that whenever your “rich” relatives come to visit, your parents spend extra money buying special foods and preparing the house to impress them.

The first three sources of your messages that influence your money habitudes are very personal:

1. Your personality2. Your family3. Personal experiences

The last three sources are more general:4. Society, community and culture5. Religion and spiritual beliefs6. Media

1. Your Personality

Everyone has a unique personality that begins to be labeled at a very early age. When you were very young, how did your parents, grandparents and relatives describe you? Easy-going, intense, demanding, quiet, always busy? What was your reputation in elementary school? Were you serious and responsible, or the kid who entertained everyone and made them laugh? Were you always the kid that led the pack and made things happen? The one who was cooperative and allowed others to take charge? Or the one who stayed in the background as much as possible and quietly made things happen? Were you seen as competent? A risk taker? Irresponsible? Reliable? Caring? Do you have a reputation for leaving everything until the last minute or not following through when you’ve made a commitment? Or are you seen as punctual with your assignments, and on time when you’ve said you would do something?

The way others see you can affect how you see yourself and that can be reflected in the way you manage your money. Do you agree with the way others see you now, or do see yourself very differently? When people see themselves as confident and competent, they are more likely to see money management as just another task to be accomplished. When others see you as competent, they are more likely to give you opportunities to manage money

and trust your decisions.

Conversely, when teens think of themselves as unskilled, unreliable or irresponsible, they may go out of their way to avoid learning about or managing money. If others perceive the teens as unreliable or irresponsible, they will not trust those teens with money, will put more pressure on them to be accountable and will not give them the opportunities to manage money that would help those teens develop the necessary skills to become competent.

[Activity 1 provides an opportunity to consider one’s personality in more depth.]

2. Family

Your family has a tremendous influence on your money habitudes. Although you will learn your attitudes from the specific things your parents, grandparents and other significant adults tell you, you will be influenced even more by your observations of the way they actually live their lives and act with money.

For example, what are some messages Sara might get from her father? He has always worked very hard and very long hours and took a second job on the weekends when they needed to replace the roof on their house. He never buys anything that is not absolutely necessary and practical. At home, he fixes everything and does all the home improvements himself. He does not hire anyone to do anything he can do himself even if it takes a long time

before he can get it done. He frequently makes negative comments about people who spend their money foolishly and are wasteful.

Choose a couple of the following situations and ask the teens to come up with some of their own examples. What message would you get if this were you? Different people will get different messages. There are no right or wrong answers. Encourage the students to think of many different messages they could get in each situation. (These examples are listed as Activity 4 on page 22 which can used as an assignment.)

When you go out to eat in a restaurant your parents always order the least expensive item on the menu.

Your family has a bottle for extra change and every night both parents put their change in the bottle. When it’s full the family goes out for a treat.

There is a lot of yelling and accusations when someone is paying the bills.

Your Grandma always spends more money on the clothes she wears all the time and looks for bargains when shopping for a one-time-only outfit for a special occasion.

Your father buys a brand new car every year and says he will not help pay for college for you or your brother.

Your aunt frequently stays with you for months at a time. Your mom complains that she doesn’t help with the expenses, eats everything in sight, leaves the lights on and borrows her clothes, but never says anything to her.

Your father frequently comes home from a sale with another tool or gadget for his workshop. Most of his buys are still in the boxes and he rarely uses them.

Your mother tells you not to tell your father how much your new shoes cost.

Your parents want to buy a house. One wants a house that is quite expensive in a really beautiful neighborhood. The other wants to buy a more affordable house in the same neighborhood where you are now renting an apartment.

What are other examples of messages people get from their families?

Messages…..

SPEND!! SAVE!!

3. Personal Experiences

When teens grow up with many positive experiences where they have taken on challenges and done well, they expect to be able to handle new challenges with confidence.

Receiving recognition for being responsible at home, winning awards, doing well in school and being recognized for a talent, hobby, interest, skill or special characteristic can add to this confidence.

When teens are involved in different activities—school, work, family commitments, outdoor activities, community commitments, leadership roles, sports, music, theater, etc.— they may learn how to manage their time, set priorities, and say “no” to demands on their time that they cannot accommodate.

Ideally, these experiences usually provide positive messages which are reflected in the way the teens manage money. For example, they often set priorities on how they spend and save their money, know the difference between what they need versus what they want, and can say “no” to friends and family who spend money irresponsibly and expect to be bailed out.

However, some teens may react differently. They may feel stressed by always trying to be super responsible, super involved and always living up to others´ expectations. This can give money messages that they can’t say “no” to anyone or any opportunities and they always need to put others’ needs and wants before their own. Consequently, when they have money, they may automatically give or share it with others without evaluating the bigger picture or considering what they are sacrificing.

When teens grow up with many negative experiences, they may develop a negative attitude about their ability to manage money and their habit may be to avoid learning about money management or just give up trying to manage it. This could lead to not having money when they need it, regularly borrowing money from friends and family, running up credit card bills, and taking out loans that realistically cannot be paid back on time. It could also lead to being dependent on others for support (even if they say they want to be more independent.)

Here are some examples of negative experiences that can lead to more extreme or negative money messages: rarely or never being singled out for positive accomplishments, consistently receiving negative comments about work or their character, being picked on by a bully or rejected from a team, organization or by friends and feeling like they don’t

measure up. Any form of abuse would also be considered here. Other challenging experiences can include the death, divorce or illness of a parent

or significant family member which could lead to dramatic lifestyle changes, cause familiar routines to become inconsistent and result in the teen feeling out of control.

There are several ways to react to negative or inconsistent messages when it comes to managing money. These examples are purposely extreme to make a point.

Take control! If you can’t control anything else in your life, you might as well take control of your money. Know where it is. Know exactly how much you have at all times. Don’t spend it unless absolutely necessary. If you have to buy something, make sure it is the best deal or the cheapest price.

Go for it! Just enjoy your money without being concerned about future consequences. If you can’t control what’s going to happen, you might as well take advantage of the moment. Go out with your friends! Buy those clothes or that car! Get the best tickets to that amazing concert! If you don’t have the money just borrow it or put it on the charge card and don’t worry about paying for it.

Give up! If you can’t control other things in your life, why bother trying to control your money? Let others help you out if you need money, and don’t worry about bills and expenses or try to figure it out.

Bill, Bobby, and Their BicyclesThe relationship between personal experiences and money habitudes.

Bill and Bobby were eight years old when they both saw the bike they wanted in the store window, and each decided to save money to buy it.

Bill kept the money he received from birthdays and holidays. He asked his mom if he could take his lunch and save his lunch money. He saved his allowance and asked to do extra chores for his grandparents and neighbors. Finally he had enough to buy his bike. He loved it from the day he bought it and

used it for years and years.

Bill’s experience taught him that it pays to set a goal and then plan, save, work hard and make some sacrifices to get what you want.

Bobby also started saving his money, doing extra chores and selling some of his CDs, but one day when he went to put the money away, he found that everything he had saved was gone. His older brother had taken it and there was no way he would pay it back. He also threatened Bobby saying if he told their father, he would be really sorry. Since his brother was a bully and Bobby was afraid of him, he didn’t say anything to anyone. He started saving again, but hid his money better. Finally he could afford to buy the bike, but less than a week later the bike was destroyed in an accident.

Bobby was so frustrated. This experience seemed to be typical of his life. Without even realizing it, he decided that it wasn’t worth it to plan, save or sacrifice since things just didn’t ever seem to work out. Now, if he can’t get something he wants immediately, he doesn’t bother working for it. When he wanted to go to college, he chose one close to home where it would be easy for him to get accepted so there was no risk. He didn’t fill out the forms for scholarships or apply for a student loan. His subconscious expectation was that nothing ever works out for him so why bother wasting his time taking on a challenge or facing failure or rejection again.

Gina’s “Spending Habitude”

Gina’s story represents how habits and attitudes are the result of many different influences. Her spending “habitude” reflects the attitude that money is easily available and will be provided because she deserves it. Her habit is to spend often and buy the best.

How did this habitude develop? A quick look at Gina’s family reveals that her grandmother had been very poor. She never had a doll of her own and always wore hand-me-down clothes. She struggled financially while raising her own children and never had money for any extras. Over time, however, life got much easier and she had more disposable income. Then, her only granddaughter, Gina, was born, and Grandma vowed that Gina would never want for anything.

Gina was raised hearing that she was special, deserved the best, and should never settle for less. Gina’s mother was delighted that her mother showed so much interest in Gina and helped her obtain things they could not afford. Both grandmother and mother saw their own dreams coming true when they indulged Gina.

Unfortunately Grandma died before Gina finished college and the steady stream of extra money and gifts stopped. Gina had never thought about money and wasn’t concerned about it; she just assumed it would be there when she needed it. She continued to make spending decisions the same way she had always done. She shopped as a routine pastime, bought the “best” and treated herself to expensive cosmetics and hair treatments. Her mother was very proud of how beautiful Gina always looked.

Gina was never concerned about the mounting pile of unpaid bills. She didn’t take her debt seriously until she applied for her dream job—and didn’t get it. The company had run a credit check on her. When they saw her poor rating they assumed if she was that irresponsible about paying her debts and being financially responsible, she was probably irresponsible in other ways and would not be a good candidate.

4. Society, Community and Culture

We are constantly getting messages from the rules, regulations, traditions and expectations of the culture and the greater community in which we live. Here are a few examples. Can you think of others?

In some countries, the belief is that property belongs to all the people and cannot be privately owned. Others countries promote private ownership.

In one small town there is a strong sense of community. If a house burns down, a family faces a disaster, or an elderly person needs rides to get medical treatment, the community chips in and rallies to meet the need. In another small town, people are very private. If they need help, they just do without or hire someone so they don’t ask neighbors for help. Typically they don’t offer to help others either.

Weddings represent a good example of traditional differences. In some families, the cultural tradition is to keep weddings very simple with minimal refreshments and celebrations. They may even consider lavish weddings embarrassing and disgraceful. However, large weddings with lots of food and dancing is the tradition for many other cultures, and a family that has a simple wedding could be considered cheap, inappropriate and an embarrassment.

Traditions set the standard for the way people celebrate holidays. One family’s tradition may be to give everyone presents, while another family may have a tradition of doing something together as a family and not exchanging gifts at all.

Families that have traditionally owned land and lived on it may be upset if a family member wanted to sell his land and move to another part of the country.

The people you identify with may have their own way of doing things and may tease you or try to make you uncomfortable if you don’t conform. For example, your friends may expect you to wear expensive shoes or jewelry in order to fit in even if you don’t want to spend your money that way. Spending vacations in a certain way—either going on expensive tours and programs or camping and backpacking may identify you as part of the group or an outsider. Artists and musicians frequently face the dilemma that their peers may be upset with them if they successfully market their art or music. Frequently, their peers will say they have “sold-out” and are not staying true to their creative side.

5. Religion and Spiritual Teachings

Although some religions and spiritual teachings are very clear about money messages, most are not so obvious.

A large majority of organized religions require funding to support their clergy and provide a house of prayer at a minimum. Others have much more financially-demanding needs which may include funding a religious school, programs that work in other parts of the country or world, services to those in need, and salaries for administrative, custodial and other staff required to support the mission, programs and buildings. If you are an active member of your place of worship, do you know how they get their money? Do they have set membership fees, tithing or rely on donations? Is the message that supporting your place of worship is required or voluntary? Are donations made anonymously or are they publicly acknowledged?

Some religions and spiritual teachings actively promote very simple living and encourage or require their adherents to give up all worldly possessions. On the other extreme, some religions see expensive material possessions as just rewards.

Another variation is the interpretation of some basic beliefs such as “God helps those who help themselves” and “Have faith and God will provide”. Of course these two statements are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but they can be when taken to extremes. For example, some people give generously to their place of worship and do not save for their own future needs.

6. The Media

Every day we are exposed to dozens, if not hundreds, of messages that are intended to get us to buy products and services. The obvious ones are advertisements on television, radio, on the internet and in magazines and newspapers. Also there are the ads before the movie begins at the cinema and big billboards on buildings and highways. And, of course, there are advertisements on tee shirts as well as logos identifying the brand on everything wearable—clothes, shoes, hats, bags, etc. Slightly less obvious messages are product placements in television programs and movies.

More subtle messages are the images of what is “normal” that are created in most television shows and movies. Usually people are very well-dressed, have great accessories, drive nice cars and live in up-scale comfortable housing with expensive furniture and beautiful kitchens. When TV and movie characters go out to meet their friends it would be highly

unusual to hear someone say “let’s go to the park and go for a walk.” Instead they arrange to meet at the gym, someplace where they can eat, get a drink or shop—all places that require or encourage spending money to socialize.

The subliminal message is that living a very nice lifestyle and doing anything you want to do is the standard and everyone is entitled to live like this. There is rarely any talk about how much it costs, how it will be paid for and what choices need to be made. It’s unusual that you ever see anyone paying for anything.

Saving and making choices are hardly ever a topic of conversation. In fact, the advertisements during these programs make it seem like being concerned about paying for anything shouldn’t be a consideration. Everything can just be charged on a credit card, put on lay-away or paid for in small amounts each month. Still concerned? No problem, the ads frequently say you don’t even have to start paying until next year. The media creates the illusion that everything is affordable, but what the ads don’t tell you how much you will really be paying in interest or that the interest starts the day you make your purchase.

What are some other ways that the media gives you messages that influence buying and lifestyle choices?

SUMMARY

1) Money Habitudes are the habits and attitudes that are always running in your brain and cause you to automatically think and act in relatively predictable ways based on your money messages from the past.

2) How much money you have to spend and save is more dependent on your money habitudes than on the amount of money you receive as gifts and income.

3) Your money habitudes are developed from the time you are very young and include what you are told, but more importantly what you observe and experience.

4) The six major sources of money messages that influence the development of money habitudes are: your personality family personal experiences society, community and culture religious and spiritual teachings media

Activity 1How do you see yourself?

1) Circle the words that describe you. 2) Put a check by the words that you think others would use to describe you. 3) Choose 3-5 words and write how they can influence the way you manage your money.

AcceptingAccommodatingAdaptableAppreciativeApproachableBrightBusyCalmCaringCasualCautiousCommittedCompassionateCompetentConcernedConfidentConscientiousConsiderateConsistentCooperativeCriticalDaringDecisiveDedicatedDemandingDependableDetailedDeterminedDifferentDiligentDirectDown to earthDrivenEasygoingEffectiveEmpatheticEncouragingEnergetic

EngagingEntertainingFair-mindedFlexibleFocusedFollowerForgivingFull of ideasFun to be withFunnyGenerousGentleGivingGood listenerGood-naturedHelpfulHonestImpulsiveIncompetentIndependentInflexibleInsensitiveInspiringIntelligentIntenseIrresponsibleKindKnowledgeableLaid backLast-minuteLeaderNurturingObservantOn timeOpen-mindedOrganizedPassionatePatient

PerceptivePersistentPolitePositivePunctualQuickRelaxedReliableResponsibleRisk-takerRunning lateSee the best in othersSelf-motivatedSense of humorSensitiveSeriousSharingSincereSoft spokenStupidSupportiveSympatheticThoroughTolerantTrustworthyUnderstandingUnfocusedUniqueUnselfishUnusualUpbeatVersatileVivaciousVulnerableWarm Wise

Activity 2Money Messages

Money Stories

A penny saved is a penny earned.Think of the poor starving children in Africa, China…

Waste not, want not.Do you think money grows on trees?

You deserve the best.Just because everyone else has something,

doesn’t mean you have to have it.If I could just win the lottery,

everything would be okay.Easy come, easy go.

What messages do you get from your family?

~Choose one of the money messages above and write an original short “money story”

to illustrate its message. Share it with your group or class.

~

Share a money story.

Examples:

When I was eight years old my mother sent me to the store with a $20 bill to buy something. I got about $16 in change, but coming home I lost the ten dollar bill.

My mother started to cry. I had never seen her cry before. That was the only money she had until payday.

I think that was when I realized how powerful money was. If losing it could make my mother cry, it must be really important.

Every year during the holiday season our mother gives us each $20 and we go shopping together to buy toys for

children who don’t have much.

Activity 3 What is the message?

We learn by observing. What messages would you get from these situations?

When you go out to eat in a restaurant your parents always order the least expensive item on the menu or only go to a restaurant that has a buy one meal, get the second free.

Your family has a bottle for extra change and every night both parents put their change in the bottle. When it’s full, the family goes out for a special treat.

There is a lot of yelling and accusations when someone is paying the bills.

Your Grandma always spends more money on the clothes she wears all the time and looks for bargains when shopping for a one-time-only outfit for a special occasion.

Your father buys a brand new car every year and says he will not help pay for college for you or your brother.

Your aunt frequently stays with you for months at a time. Your mom complains that she doesn’t help with the expenses, eats everything in sight, leaves the lights on and borrows her clothes, but she never says anything to her.

Your father frequently comes home from a sale with another tool or gadget for his workshop. Most of his buys are still in the boxes and he rarely uses them.

Your mother tells you not to tell your father how much your new shoes cost.

Your parents want to buy a house. One wants a house that is quite expensive in a really beautiful neighborhood. The other wants to buy a more affordable house in the same neighborhood where you are now renting an apartment.

Activity 4 Journaling: sample writing topics

1. What are some habitudes in your life?

2. List the six sources of messages that influence the development of money habitudes, and give an example for each.

3. List 5-10 words others may use to describe you. Would the significant adults in your life agree or disagree on the way they see you? Would your friends and family agree or not?

4. Which of the words fits you the best? Is this the way you’d like to be seen by others?

5. Do you think other people really know who you are? Do you sometimes feel like people who know you in one situation wouldn’t recognize you at other times?

6. What personal characteristics have changed since you were a little child? For example, were you very shy then but friendlier and more outgoing now, or very aggressive and demanding then but more considerate now?

7. What messages related to money have you received from your family?

8. What are some personal experiences you’ve had that would help you feel more or less confident and competent when it comes to managing your money?

9. Think about your friends, your neighborhood, your community, and the people you like to hang out with. What are the cultural messages you get from them that help you fit in or stand out related to money?

10. What messages about money have you received from your religious or spiritual teachings? Do you know how much money your family contributes to your place of worship and how that commitment is determined? Would you be comfortable letting people at your place of worship know if you needed financial help?

11. How have ads from television, the Internet, magazines, newspapers and movies that informed you about products or opportunities you would not have known about without the these messages? When have you purchased something that you really didn’t need because you were influenced by messages in the media? Look at the clothes, shoes, accessories and jewelry you are wearing today. If you had to buy them again, would you? Would you go to the same stores and pay the same prices? What would influence your decision?

Spontaneous

If the challenges of the Spontaneous habitude seem familiar, try one of these ideas to find some balance.

Have your parents automatically bank part of your allowance

and gifts to help you save for a car, education, etc. Ask your employer to direct deposit your paycheck so it takes more effort to access your money.

Determine how much you need for a week and get cash from the bank. Do not use ATMs, debit or credit cards. Pay in cash.

Don’t use a credit card. Use a debit card or secured credit card. Think about spending decisions you regretted and others you

were proud of. Who were you with, where were you and what was the situation that made the difference?

Make a list of fun things that don’t cost anything. Write down everything you spend money on for one week.

How many could you have easily skipped? Before spending, ask yourself: Do I need it or want it? How

many hours’ pay did I work to pay for this? Is it worth it? What else could I do with this money that I would enjoy more?

Before you spend anything ask yourself if you will want it next week. If the answer is “no” don’t buy it. If it’s “yes”, wait a week.

If you are hiding how much you spend and you feel out of control, talk to an adult you trust.

Have a close friend that you really trust hold your money when you go out. If you have to ask for it, you may not spend it.

When you go out, leave the majority of your cash at home. Just take enough to cover what you need.

Activity 5Card Results

Work with the That’s Definitely Me! pile.

How many cards do you have in the That’s Definitely Me!?

Record how many cards you have in each habitude pile.

My dominant habitude(s)—four or more cards in one habitude—is:

Activity 6What does this all mean?

There is a yellow card to help you understand each habitude. To interpret the cards, begin by reading the yellow card with the picture of the habitude that has the most cards in your That Is Definitely Me! pile. If you don’t have one habitude with more cards, choose the one you identify with the most and begin with it.

1. What benefit do you get from the way you use money?

2. Which words describe the way others see you? Is it the same as you see yourself? Would different people describe you differently? Why?

3. Read the list of advantages. Not every one will apply to you. Which of the advantages ring true for you? What are other advantages you experience?

4. Read the list of challenges. Not every one will apply to you. Which of the challenges ring true for you? What are other challenges you experience?

5. If you are completely missing a habitude in your That Is Definitely Me! pile read the yellow card for it and look to see where those other cards are. If all nine are in the That Is Absolutely Not Me! pile, think of how avoiding or dismissing that habitude may be affecting you. Are you missing out on anything? Would you have more balance by intentionally including more of that habitude into your life? If some are in the Maybe…Sometimes… pile, what people, situations or feelings would cause you to use that habitude?

6. Consider all the habitudes and ask yourself, “Which habitude best describes me when life is going well and I’m feeling good?”

7. Consider all the habitudes and ask yourself, “Which habitude best describes me when I feel stressed, upset, angry, frustrated or anxious?”

8. What triggers me to use a different habitude? (It could be when you’re with certain people, a situation, a place, your mood, etc.)

9. How can I use the habitude more often that describes what I want to be like?

10. What can I plan to do to catch myself and use a habitude less if I think that would benefit me?

11. One thing I’ve learned about myself and my money habitudes is:

Focusing on a Goal/SMART GoalsBrainstorm goals that require money to accomplish them. Here are examples of typical goals:

Buy ____________ (car, ipod, guitar, shoes, prom or wedding clothes, holiday gifts, etc.) Save for ____________ (college tuition, living expenses, car insurance, down payment

on a house, vacation) Contribute to family’s income Rent an apartment Start a business Go out with friends once a week Get out of debt Buy nutritious food for my baby

Studies have shown that people typically do not follow through when they want to do something, but just have a general plan in their head. We’re going to change these to SMART goals!

S Specific Exactly what do you want to accomplish?

M Measurable How much money do you need to save, earn, spend, invest or give away each day, week, month or year to make that happen?

A Actionable What will you do to make it happen?R Realistic Can this really be done? Can you overcome the obstacles? T Timed When will you plan to achieve your goal?

Change the previously given goals to SMART goals. Here are some examples.

Initial Goal SMART Goal

Buy a carI will save $4,000 to buy a car for my 18th birthday by saving $200 dollars a month ($50/week) working at the supermarket on weekends for one year and eight months.

Save for a vacation I will have $500 to go on a five day ski trip in March by saving my birthday money and 30% of my tips.

Pay for a cell phoneI will watch DVDs with my friends at home instead of going to the movies twice a month and will only buy coffee or soda twice a week to save $50 a month and use it to pay for my cell phone for the next year.

Get out of debt*I will pay off my $10,000 credit card debt in three years by making an extra $75 a week babysitting ($40) and taking my lunch instead of buying it four days a week ($35). All this money will go toward paying off my debt.

What caused the change The Situation

Feeling limited or trapped

Jade really wanted to move into her own apartment but had no idea how to figure out how much money she would need after paying the rent…and she was afraid to manage her money and have to pay bills. As a result, she stayed with her parents for a few years until she finally felt so limited she asked for help and was willing to learn how to manage her money.

The shock of reality

George never worried about paying his credit card bills on time. He was shocked when he didn’t get the job he wanted because the employer ran a credit check on him. Many employers and landlords figure that if you aren’t responsible with your money, you won’t be a responsible employee or tenant and they turn you down. George was so shocked when he lost the job he met with a financial educator to learn how to set up a system to organize his bills and pay them on time.

Seeing real benefit

Mike was a saver and always wanted his money safe and sound in a savings account in the local bank. After a few years he had saved thousands of dollars but it was earning very little interest. When he attended a course and realized how much of a difference even 2% could make on interest earned over time, he talked to someone at the bank and learned about CDs (certificates of deposit), money market accounts and mutual funds and decided to do something different with his money.

Fear of consequences

Rita was extremely generous. She had never learned to say “no” to anyone and went out of her way to be helpful to others. When she didn’t get any scholarships to go to college and realized she needed to come up with much more money, she became much more cautious with her money and stopped being so generous. She still helped people out and bought gifts for them, but no longer did it automatically without thinking it through first.

Life-changing events

Jake was seriously injured by a drunk driver. Before the accident, he just let life happen and didn’t concern himself with money or planning for the future. After he recovered, he became very serious about getting his life and his finances in order because he had a mission – to work with others to get tough drunk driving laws enforced.

New experiences

Rhea grew up in a small town where her family had a very modest lifestyle. Gifts were practical, visiting relatives in the next state was the only travel her family did beside the one big trip to Disneyland, and their social life centered on church activities and the family. She married a man who was raised quite differently and was used to going to the theater and concerts, traveling to other countries for vacations, and giving more lavish gifts. She enjoyed all of these new experiences and embraced the new lifestyle. Although it took a long time, she was eventually able to enjoy costly experiences without guilt.

Setting a Personal Goal

1. Three ways to choose a goal that would work for you: Look at the back of the yellow interpretation cards to get some ideas to help you take on

some of the challenges of your current money habitudes. On a scale from zero to ten, ten being you are totally satisfied with how you feel you are

currently managing your money, saving for things you need and want in the future, and spending it in a balanced way, and zero being that you are totally dissatisfied. What number would you give yourself? What would be different if you scored one point higher? Use that as a starting point for setting a goal.

Think big! What do you want your life to look like in a year, five years or ten years from now? Describe what your life looks like at that point in the future (have a good paying job and a satisfying career, graduated from college, own a home, have money in the bank and no debts except for a mortgage). If you’re thinking long-term, now think small! What would be your goal to accomplish within one year and what could you do this week and this month to move you in that direction?

2. Put it in writing. Goals that are just floating around in your brain usually become dreams and wishes that don’t get accomplished. Writing down goals gives them a life of their own. They become real!

3. Rewrite your goal as a SMART goal: Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Timed.

4. What will you need to do to accomplish your goal? Again, think of what you can do today, this week and this month and write it down as action steps.

Activity 7What’s Your Plan?

My SMART goal is…

Steps I can take to help me reach my goals are:

Action Step 1:

Action Step 2:

Action Step 3:

To get started: What can I do today? This week? This month?

What will I do on an ongoing basis to achieve my goal?

How will I stay on track, challenge myself, reward myself, and remind myself to stick to my plan?

Activity 8 Plan to Overcome Obstacles

1. How does the goal fit with your habitudes?

2. Why bother working towards this goal? What is the payoff—is it worth the effort? What are you giving up—is it worth it? .

3. Can you see a light at the end of the tunnel?

4. What do you need to get started?

5. How will changing your behavior affect others and how can you be prepared?

6. What can remind you stick to your goal even if you’ve had a bad day, week or month?

7. If you need more support or information to successfully meet the challenges: Who could you talk to? Where could you go to take a class or get more information? Is there an online resource that would be helpful?

Key Questions About Habitudes

The following questions can be used as conversation starters for small or large group discussions, as a writing/journal assignment or as a reference when working with individuals to helping them explore their relationship with money in more depth. There are no right or wrong answers.

Security What does being secure mean to you? What would it take for you to feel secure? When would you know you had enough money? What worries you the most about not having enough money? What would you do if you desperately needed money? What is the difference between being cautious and being afraid to take risks? What causes you to become super cautious about money? Have your frugal ways been the cause of teasing, complaints or arguments?

Spontaneous What does being spontaneous mean to you? What people, moods, or circumstances trigger spontaneous spending? When you look back over the past year, what did you spend money on that you feel was

worth every penny? What did you buy that you never used or were disappointed with? If you had to do it over again, what are some things you bought or did with your money that

you wouldn’t do again? When do you find it the most difficult to say “No”? What’s the difference between taking “good risks” and “risky behavior”? Are there other areas in your life where your spontaneous behavior is causing you a problem? How can you tell the difference between having fun and spending money spontaneously and

having addictive behavior (gambling, shopaholic?) Has your spending been the cause of teasing, complaints or arguments?

Carefree What does freedom mean to you? What does it take for you to feel free? What makes you feel limited or confined? What concerns you the most about giving up some freedom when you make commitments? What resources do you rely on when you need something? How will you respond if those resources are no longer available to you? What is an example of a commitment you’ve made and saw it through successfully? What circumstances bring out the more intense or the more casual sides of your personality? Has your more carefree approach been the cause of teasing, complaints or arguments?

Status What does status mean to you? What do you think helps you to look good in the eyes of other people? Is there a significant person or group of people you most want to impress? What do you buy or do that helps you feel good about yourself? When have you been so concerned with what another person wanted that you didn’t even

think about what would be important to you? How do you spend money to initiate or maintain relationships? What people, situations, holidays, and moods trigger status-related spending? When do you find it difficult to settle for anything but the best? If you find a really good deal when shopping for a gift do you feel you need to get something

else so it actually costs what you initially intended to spend? Is your spending the cause of teasing, complaints or arguments?

Planning What does having a plan mean to you? How do you decide if your plan is still working and you should stick to it or not? How do you handle being encouraged or pressured to spend money on things that you do not

value? Where did your goals come from? Have they changed? When you think about your parents and other key adults in your life do your goals reflect

their aspirations or are they very different? What are you giving up to reach your goals? How do you define being driven, self-sacrificing, and dedicated? Are those qualities required

to make your plan work? Has sticking to your plan been the cause of teasing, complaints or arguments?

Giving What does being giving or generous mean to you? How do you benefit personally from giving to others? What are the costs? How do you decide how much to give? How are you influenced by expectations of your

charity, friends or relatives? Do you increase or decrease your donations and support depending on your financial situation or do you automatically maintain or increase the amount you give to others?

Do others know how much you give or do you give anonymously? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each?

When would giving not be in the other person’s best interest? Can you give too much? What people or situations encourage you to give more than you planned? What are other ways you can be supportive that do not involve money? Is your giving behavior and generosity the cause of teasing, complaints or arguments?

Asking Who, What, Where, When and How Questions

By simply asking basic questions about any particular statement card, you can get specific information and examples to deepen an individual’s understanding of important patterns of behavior. This is particularly helpful in determining the best way to individualize strategies for planning goals and action steps that will lead to success.

Statement: I hate to wait for things, so if there is something I want, I usually just buy it.Question: When are you most likely to spend money without waiting? Here are some typical responses:

I get paid at the end of the week. I have “extra” money (gift, bonus, overtime). I’m angry at my spouse, my mother, etc. I’m upset. It will make my life easier. I’m feeling great. I feel I deserve something special. It’s for my children. I want to please someone else.

Based on individuals’ answers to this question, help them see how to catch themselves before they make unnecessary purchases or make on-the-spot money decisions that could work against their goals. Here are some general strategies to help clients curb impulsive spending habits.

Automatically have a fixed amount of money deducted and put into a savings or investment account where the money is not easily accessible.

Talk about an overall financial plan and discuss ahead of time what the client will do if there is an unexpected gift or bonus of $100, $1000, $10,000 or $100,000 or more to avoid rash spending or investing.

Get rid of all but one credit card for emergencies. Only use cash for any purchases under a certain amount ($50) and delay buying anything that costs more than that ($50) without waiting at least one day.

Build in an amount that can be spent weekly/ monthly to splurge and still stay within a budget.

Plan what alternative activity can be done (preferably with someone else) when going shopping or otherwise spending money that would be triggered by a particular situation or emotion.

Other basic questions for this statement card:Who? Who are the people you are with when you buy more impulsively? What? What types of things do you find it hardest to resist buying immediately?Where? Where are you most likely to spend money without thinking? (an auction, a sale, on

vacation, charitable events, a store with beautiful displays, the dollar store)How? How do you buy and pay for it? (go to the store, order online, by phone, or order from

the TV and pay with cash, credit card, check, debit card, lay-a-way)

Contact Information for National Resources

The following resources provide comprehensive lists of national support groups with access to local community contacts.

http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/FAQs/supportGroup.cfm An extensive list of national organizations with online information and access to local programs and groups.

http://www.nmha.org/affiliates/directory/index.cfm The mental health association in your area is a good source of local information.This site will let you search your state and county for a local contact number.

http://www.selfhelpweb.org/The National Self-Help Clearinghouse is a not-for-profit organization that facilitates access to self-help groups. The clearinghouse provides a number of services and local contacts.

http://www.mhselfhelp.org/consumerrun.html The National Mental Health Consumers’ Self-Help Clearinghouse maintains listings of support groups dealing with a broad range of mental health topics and advocacy.

The following are web sites and phone numbers for national organizations. Many have local contact information.

Alcoholics Anonymous212 870-3400http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

Al-Anon800 344-2666http://www.al-anon-alateen.org

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA)310 534-1815http://www.adultchildren.org

Anorexia Nervosa/Eating Disorders (ANAD) 847 831-3438

Co-Dependents Anonymous (CODA)602 277-7991http://www.codependents.org

Debtors Anonymous (DA)781 453-2743http://www.debtorsanonymous.org

Gamblers Anonymous (GA)213 386-8789http://www.gamblersanonymous.org

Nicotine Anonymous415 750-0328http://www.nicotine-anonymous.org

Overeaters Anonymous (OA)505 891-2664http://www.oa.org

Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA)410 282-3400 http://www.siawso.org

Table I: Typical Money Behaviors Associated with Dominant Habitudes (for or more cards in one habitude is a “dominant habitude”Money habitudes influence choices, decisions and behaviors. Becoming aware of one’s habitudes allows individuals to make intentional choices to achieve their goals and avoid many potential problems. If people don’t consciously choose to make different decisions, these are the typical long-term behaviors for each dominant habitude.

Earn Spend Save Invest Give Debt

Selfl

ess

Would prefer to work for a company or organization that shares their values. May not consider jobs that are financially rewarding even within those settings. May give a great deal of time to volunteering even when it means sacrificing pay or not accepting a different job.

Spending is typically limited to things that are practical and pragmatic. Non-necessities, luxury items and lavish celebrations are judged harshly. Spending money to help others, support a cause or charity or give to people who need help is a priority.

Saving is okay for pragmatic reasons so they can care for themselves and their families and not be a burden to others. Savings to amass wealth is not appealing.

Investing to amass money is not a priority. It is acceptable to provide security so they are not dependent, or so they can leave a legacy to their children, faith or a cause. They would be more likely to be interested in socially responsible investing or putting money into a project that will benefit others.

They give a lot away and can easily be preyed upon by individuals with a good story and con men with a good pitch. They also give to worthy causes, individuals and legitimate charities and faith organizations that they believe in but may give beyond their means and not know how to say “no” when asked to contribute.

Typically they do not go into debt, but may if they see someone’s needs as greater than their own and they want to help out.

Free

Spi

rit

May be more interested in having flexibility and freedom than the job itself. Making a long-term commitment to a job or career goal may be difficult. May be dependent on others for money or to get their basic needs met.

It’s easy to spend on things that make life easier, bring personal joy and make life better for other people. There usually is no plan and it’s easy to just go along with whatever is happening.

Not a priority. Money just comes and goes. There’s not a commitment to saving for future goals.

Not a priority because there’s a lack of interest in money and a sense of not wanting to make commitments or be responsible for taking care of investments.

Quick to share, including money without considering consequences.

Can get into debt by not paying attention to how much money there is and not being responsible about paying bills on time.

Steady worker. Stable salary and benefits. May limit self to only accepting secure positions. May stay in a job or career that is secure instead of accepting or looking for new opportunities and potentially a higher salary. If they need employment, may either accept the first job just to have the security or may not accept any job until it has every benefit and provides long-term security.

May just do without and avoid spending money whenever possible. May save so much, there is not enough left to spend on necessities or extras. Cautious spender. May buy what is less expensive instead of what is really wanted. May sacrifice quality for a cheaper price. Cannot enjoy spending money or will not spend it on anything considered frivolous. May not offer to pick up the tab or share expenses even when it would be appropriate.

Typically saves as much as possible, even if it means doing without. May keep money somewhere so it is accessible. May not put it in a bank or make investments so it can grow. Will know where every penny is.

May not invest. Wants to keep money accessible and risk-free. More likely to have a savings account, CDs and real estate. Any stocks would be in growth funds with a steady reputation.

May not give to others or make donations. Donations would be carefully considered and a fixed amount would be set aside for the ones chosen. More likely to give if there is a tax break or some type of gift or payback.

Not likely to be in debt. Doesn’t tolerate debt well. May not own or use a credit card and if it is used, will pay it off each month. May put off a purchase until it can be totally paid for. May not tolerate a mortgage and continue to rent even when it would make financial sense to buy a house.

Earn Spend Save Invest Give Debt

Stat

us

May take a position that is risky, not satisfying or pays less for the perks and title.

May spend more on how things will look than shopping for value. May be influenced by latest trends, the tastes of someone s/he admires. May typically pay for others, give expensive gifts and donate generously without regard to what is realistic given his or her financial situation. My do without necessities for appearances.

Saving is not a priority. May be influenced by the people they aspire to impress. May be more prone to want investments that look or sound impressive.

Tend to give more publicly – making donations where their name will be listed or read. Or to give to organizations that are well respected by people they want to influence or impress.

More likely to be in debt. Frequently overspend to get the latest, best or most impressive items for themselves and their families. If there is a hobby or particular interest, probably difficult to pass up on any items or expenses connected to it. Spend more money on others for gifts, meals, etc. Hard for them to accept being treated or gifted without responding in kind.

Spon

tane

ous

May jump from job to job or take a job without carefully considering the predictable consequences. May prefer a job that has few routine demands and has diverse challenges. May be attracted by the pay or the challenge without carefully comparing the whole picture.

May spend very freely. If something appeals to them or if it appears to be good deal, they will buy it whether they need it or not and whether or not they can afford it. Frequently spend in response to emotional triggers (upset, angry, celebrating, sad, etc.) Easily taken in by advertisers who offer minimal monthly payments without researching the final cost.

Saving is not a priority. Well planned investing is not a priority and may not take the time to carefully consider options and information. May easily be taken in by an investment that sounds too good to be true and are willing to take the risk if the person sounds credible. Easily swayed by a good sales person.

An easy touch for solicitors, especially if they make their request in person or on the phone and get the personal hook. Even if they do have a plan for giving to certain charities or people regularly, they spontaneously give more when asked.

Very high risk for getting into debt. Tend to act before they think whether something is needed, can be afforded or adds value. Since credit cards make it easy to respond spontaneously, high debt is not unusual. This may be one of many addictive behaviors.

Tar

gete

d G

oals Likely to research a job and

ask questions about benefits, know the going market wage for their job and negotiate salary. More apt to weigh benefits and costs with potential when considering a job change. Takes calculated risks when seeking a job.

Usually spends money on items and activities that reflect their values. Can easily distinguish between wants and needs.

Usually has a savings plan for routine costs, unexpected costs and discretionary money to allow for spontaneous fun and opportunities. Looks to the future to plan predictable expenses: retirement, education, housing, medical care, etc.

Has diverse investments for balance. Gathers information from different sources and considers them before making an investment. Takes an active role in investing and following the investments over time.

Plans a reasonable amount of money to be donated to different charities. Does not spontaneously give to causes or people who solicit throughout the year.

Debt is usually related to long term investments like a home mortgage. More savvy people may have debt so their money can be invested at a higher rate of return. Typically pays credit cards in full every month.