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By Samantha LaineStaff Writer Christian Science Monitor

Since the film opened ear-lier this month, “American Sniper” has stirred up pas-sionate responses from crit-ics and supporters alike. What began as a surprise box-office hit, raking in $105 million its opening weekend, is now a flash-point for conservative and liberal views of the Iraq war.

The movie follows the life of Chris Kyle – one of the deadliest snipers and a U.S. Navy SEAL – and his deployment on four tours to Iraq. During this time, he was credited with 160 kills be-fore he was honorably discharged in 2009 after

10 years of service. His 2012 mem-oir, also titled “American Sniper,” bluntly illustrates the realities of war and the trauma experienced by many vets.

Why has the movie sparked so much debate?

Critics say the movie un-ashamedly glorifies war while also showing the deep discon-nect between civilians and the military. Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stone described the antagonist as a “killing machine with a heart of gold,” and questioned the accuracy of the simplified depiction of the Iraq war.

The really dangerous part of this film is that it turns into a referendum on the character of a single soldier. It’s an unwinnable argument in either direction. We end up talking about Chris Kyle

While political debate over American Sniper grows, U.S. veterans are finding the space they need

to talk about their own war stories.

AMERICANsniper

What do VeteransSay About the Movie?

Quotes fromfootball’s

great coachesSee page 9 for details

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and his dilemmas, and not about the Rumsfelds and Cheneys and other of-ficials up the chain who put Kyle and his high-powered rifle on rooftops in Iraq and asked him to shoot women and children.

AMERICAN SNIPERCont’d. from Page 3

After the film debuted, filmmaker Michael Moore aired his grievances with any sniper on Twitter, sparking even more controversy: “My uncle killed by sniper in WW2. We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren’t heroes. And invaders r worse.”

But perhaps the voices who can

shed the most light on this movie are those who have been on the battle field themselves. Many combat veterans have seen the movie, and while they agree or disagree with the portrayal to varying degrees, many argue that the film successfully accomplishes one goal: Giving vets an arena to talk about their own war experiences.

Former vice presidential candi-date Sarah Palin spoke to People Magazine about her friendship with the real life Chris Kyle, and the impact he had on her son Track, who was deployed to Iraq in 2008.

“[My son Track] has met enough ‘ce-lebrities’ to not be star struck, so when he said the most impressive opportu-nity [he’s] had over all these years was meeting Chris Kyle – and he’s ‘the one’ Track really wanted to meet – that said it all,” Ms. Palin told People Magazine. “The only poster on his wall was Chris Kyle, even before Chris’ horrific mur-der. And my son has the bumper sticker on his refrigerator, reading: ‘God bless our troops. Especially our snipers.’ He knows who deserves America’s re-spect.”

Variety.com reported that Jason Hall, the film’s screenwriter, has re-ceived over 250 Facebook friend re-quests from several generations of vet-erans and their families. According to Hall, some of the veterans felt trapped with their own experiences of war, and watching the film is what enabled them to finally begin those difficult conver-sations.

“It’s like ‘goal accomplished,’ in my mind,” Hall said, reported Variety.com. “People are talking about this. They are talking about this war. They are talking about these soldiers and who these guys really are. And the soldiers are talking about their experiences, sometimes for the first time.”

Colby Buzzell, a veteran of Opera-tion Iraqi Freedom, published a piece on TheGuardian.com after its criticism compelled him to see the film – in spite of being advised by a mental health physician that veterans should not watch war movies. One of the criticisms of the film is the unvarnished violence, but Mr. Buzzell finds it difficult to un-derstand how war is to be portrayed if not with violence.

“Kyle was a Navy SEAL – he didn’t enlist in the Peace Corps. What else do civilians think that combat soldiers to do?” Buzzell said in the article. “He followed the rules of engagement and, if anything, was a pretty squared away soldier – one I’d be honored to serve along side – and, if people think that the real Kyle was a monster for doing the job that our country sent him to do, then that must mean that they think I’m a monster as well.”

The difficulty is that war is more complex than any Hollywood film. Adrian Bonenberger, who was de-ployed twice to Afghanistan as an in-fantry officer, felt he was in the minor-ity of veterans who was not impressed by the film. However, he said that while the film may not reflect the complex-ity of war, it is necessary for civilians to see war depicted, face its brutal reality, and honestly confront how the country handles its actions overseas.

“This awareness is urgently needed, much more so than any selfish personal desire for entertainment or enlighten-ment,” Mr. Bonenberger wrote in The Concourse. “If this film inspires con-versations about cultural imperialism – and how simplistic and reductive phi-losophy, combined with exposure to vi-olence and moral injury, can twist and distort a decent human being – so be it. Everyone should see this movie. But you shouldn’t necessarily believe it.”

Variety.com reported that Jason Hall, the film’s screenwriter, has received over 250 Facebook friend requests from several generations of veterans and their families. According to Hall, some of the veterans felt trapped with their own experiences of war, and watching the film is what enabled them to final-ly begin those difficult conversations.

JEWELRY


By Jacquenline AndriakosPeople.com

Former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura insisted the family of Chris Kyle “hasn’t suffered one dime of mon-etary loss” due to his defamation suit win against the late Navy SEAL. But Ventura may have spoken too soon.

On an episode of his podcast ‘We the People with Jesse Ventura,’ Ven-tura explained there were still many “misconceptions” about his recent law-suit. Ventura claimed Kyle falsely ac-cused him of saying he hates America and that the SEALs “deserve to lose a few” in the war. Ventura was awarded $1.8 million in damages: $500,000 for defamation and $1.3 million for unjust enrichment.

“The jury gave me what they felt I was damaged. The majority of that money is going to my attorney. Again, this will cost the Kyle family nothing for the lie that was written about me,” Ventura said in the podcast.

Ventura also said Kyle’s widow Taya had her expenses “paid entirely from a giant insurance company.”

But Ed Huddleston, a lawyer for the Kyle estate, says this is a premature as-sumption.

“It is not true that the insurance company is currently agreeable to cov-er the entire judgment. At present, the insurance company’s position is that it would only cover $500,000 of the judg-ment if the judgment becomes final. That position leaves the Estate at risk for the remaining $1.3 million if the judgment becomes final,” Huddleston says in a statement to PEOPLE.

Huddleston adds that the publisher and insurer have been supportive of Taya and her family.

“Both HarperCollins and the in-surance company have gone the extra mile to ease the emotional trauma to Chris’s widow and her young children,” he says. The legal team plans to appeal the case.

But a representative for Ventura tells PEOPLE, “If the Estate has a dis-pute with its insurance company over

Will Chris Kyle’s family have to pay JesseVentura $1.3 million?

the scope of coverage, no one in the Ventura camp is privy to those details. All we know is what the policy says, and it is written broadly enough to cover all of the damages awarded.”

In January 2012, Ventura filed the defamation lawsuit against Kyle af-ter claims in Kyle’s 2012 bestselling memoir stated that a person identi-fied as “Scruff Face” had spoken out against the war in Iraq and against Navy SEALS. Kyle then identified “Scruff Face” as Ventura in radio and television interviews following the book release.

After Kyle was killed in 2013 – al-legedly murdered on a gun range by a troubled ex-Marine he was trying to help – Ventura substituted Kyle’s wid-ow (and executor of her late husband’s estate) Taya as the defendant.

“I refused to settle because to me it wasn’t about money, it was about the truth,” Ventura said on his show.

To see the clip, visit www.people.com/article/jesse-ventura-chris-kyle-lawsuit-american-sniper.

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George H.W. Bush41st President of the U.S.

Served from Jan. 20, 1989 to Jan. 20, 1993

World events• Saddam Hussein

orders Iraq invasion of neighboring Ku-wait

• Operation Des-ert Shield begins as the U.S. and the UK send troops to Kuwait

• Earthquake in Iran kills 50,000

• Nelson Man-della is released from prison in South Africa after 28 years

• Margaret Thatcher an-nounces her resignation as British PM after John Major is chosen to lead the country and conservative party

• Opposition parties in South Africa are legalized and Nelson Man-della becomes leader of the African National Congress (ANC)

• The Leaning Tower of Pisa is closed to the public due to safety con-cerns of it falling over

Web and the first web page is written• Microsoft releases Windows 3.0• Space Probe Voyager, launched in

1977, photographed the solar system at a distance of 3.7 miles from the sun

• 18 years after its launch, space probe Pioneer reaches a distance of 46.5 billion mikes beyond all planetary orbits

• Depletion of the ozone layer is discovered above North Pole

• First in-car satellite navigation sys-tem is sold by Pioneer

Popular films• Home Alone• Ghost• Pretty Woman• Mutant Ninja Turtles• Total Recall• Die Hard 2• Edward Scissorhands

6 February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS

Dan Quayle44th Vice President of the U.S.Served from Jan. 20, 1989 to Jan. 20, 1993

“We know what works. Freedom Works. We know what’s right. Freedom is right.”– George

H.W. Bush

U.S. news• GM launches the

Saturn model cars• The most complete

skeleton of a T-Rex, named Sue, is found in South Dakota

• America’s favorite animated family, “The Simpsons,” is aired on Fox for the first time

• U.S. enters a major recession

• A fire at an unlicensed social club called “Happy Land” in NYC kills 87

• President George Bush and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev sign a historic

agree- ment to end production of chemical weapons

Technology• Space Shuttle Discovery places

the Hubble Telescope in orbit, revolu-tionizing astronomy

• Tim Berners-Lee publishes a more formal proposal for the World Wide

Info & timeline for

Sue the T. Rex One of the largest and most well-preserved Tyran-

nosaurus Rex fossilized skeletons is found by paleontologist Sue Hendrickson near Faith, South Dakota in August of 1990.

The skeleton was named “Sue” after the person who discovered it. “Sue” was over 90 percent complete and measured about thirteen feet all and forty feet long. A team of six uncovered the skeleton over about seventeen days to remove “Sue” from the bluff where she was discovered. Chicago’s Field

Museum eventually purchased the specimen for over 8 million dollars and spent tens of thousands of

hours preserving and assembling one of the most important dinosaur discoveries to

ever be seen.

1990 Chevrolet Camaro


TV shows• Twin Peaks• Law & Order• Beverly Hills, 90210• The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air• The Flash

BORN THIS YEAR: Jennifer Lawrence, actress.Above left: Liam Hemsworth, actor;

Emma Watson, actress; Robert Griffin III,athlete; Kristen Stewart, actress.

• Income per year .... $29,960• Minimum wage ........... $3.80• New house ......... $150,000• Monthly rent ................. $465• New car ................. $12,500• Gallon of gas ............... $1.34• Dozen eggs ................. $1.00• Gallon of milk ............... $2.78• Loaf of bread .................. 70¢• First-class stamp ........... 25¢• Movie ticket ................. $4.25

AVERAGE COSTOF LIVING

990remember when...

1

February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 7

Music• “Hold On,” Wilson Phillips• “It Must Have Been Love,”

Roxette• “Nothing Compares 2 U,”

Sinead O’Connor• “Poison,” Bell Biv Devoe• “Vogue,” Madonna• “Vision of Love,” Mariah Carey• “Another Day in Paradise,” Phil Collins

• “Hold On,” En Vogue• “Cradle of Love,” Billy Idol• “Blaze of Glory,” Jon Bon Jovi

1990 Ferrari F40

1990 Chevrolet Corvette


I’ve seen most of them – “American Sniper” touches on what war was like

for Taya Kyle, Chris Kyle’s wife. It tells what war is like for all the wives.

I do mean wives.I say ‘wives’ and not ‘spouses’

intentionally, though I’ve been conditioned to correct myself on this, because most, if not all, of the spouses of mili-

tary operators are women.

That this is the first movie to humanize

the wives of war-riors – to make us

out to be more than ribbon-fes-tooned cheer-leaders – is al-

most offensive. It is, or should be, ob-

vious to everyone that combat exposure is not the

sum total of a warrior, and that war does not only affect the war-rior.

But – and I think Taya Kyle would agree with me on this – to say that the movie tells the

whole family story would be like say-ing that ping pong at the Rec Center tells you all you need to know about Wimbledon. There is no way a movie can truly show the family side of war, but at least this one tried.

These are the people we sacrifice to save.

My husband and I watched the movie together, sitting in a packed the-ater in a town that has few veterans and even fewer – if any – operators. I glanced around at our fellow movie goers, many overweight, most missing the inside jokes sprinkled throughout the film. I smiled to myself, proud of my husband, knowing that none of the

Why ‘American Sniper’ is for military wives

others in the theater knew that the guy in the third row had lived through en-counters exactly like the ones on the screen; knowing that these are the peo-ple we sacrifice to save.

A couple sitting behind us brought their children, who looked to be about two and four years old. My husband and I — parents of young children ourselves — were disgusted with that couple.

Only someone who has no concept of how awful war can really be would choose to force visions of it onto the innocent. Their innocent. Our own chil-dren were one block away, at a drop in childcare center. Playing. Laughing. Being kids. He goes away to war, and I make do without him, so that our kids won’t have to see it here.

We signed on for this war together.

We signed on for this war together. He, to fight it. Me, to hold his life to-gether so that he can leave. He, to keep the bad guys ‘over there.’ Me, to give him a life to come home to. He, to place himself directly in front of the worst the world has to offer. Me, to be the place where he can go to rest.

It takes a special kind of man to volunteer to run toward the ugliest of fights. It takes a special kind of woman to let him.

In the movie, when Chris and Taya first meet, she tells him that she would never date a SEAL. When my husband and I first met and he told me he was in the Army, I told him, “So long as you aren’t one of those psycho killers.” We laugh about that now.

the boys i mean are not refined they cannot chat of that and this

they do not give a fart for art they kill like you would take a piss

I got my college minor in studio art. I can chat expertly about “that and this.” I was a Journalism major and well into a career as a newspaper reporter when I met my soldier. I harbored no visions of deployments or camouflage back then. I did not want to be a warrior’s wife.

I never imagined that my vacuum cleaner would break because it sucked up a brass shell casing or that my dry-er’s lint screen would be dotted with orange foam ear plugs.

I did not know that I would come to find the smell of Army – dirt, sweat and metal – sexy. That the sound of rip-ping velcro would become a turn-on. It had never before occurred to me that I could love someone whose job might involve killing. Killing people.

In an early scene, Taya and Chris Kyle lie together in bed, her hair long and dark like mine, fanned out across her pillow as his arm is slung across her body, his wrist near her face.

“I wonder if her hair will get caught in his G-Shock?” I whispered to my hus-

band, laughing. The watch was an ex-cellent, accurate, detail that was prob-ably lost on most of the movie goers.

“Maybe,” he replied. “But I bet she won’t bitch about it.”

I shuddered both times in the movie when Taya was on a satellite phone call with Chris and combat erupted around him, turning war into a conference call. I have been on that call.

The movie didn’t show what came next

I wished it would have. The throw-ing up, reflexively, again and again, out of pure fear. The dry heaves, streams of snot, and the feeling of your own body temperature dropping as you curl into a fetal position and stay like that for hours.

The movie didn’t show how you must use every ounce of energy just to exist through the two days of wondering if you’re a widow yet, and then relaxing a bit on the third day because the ca-sualty notification team has not come. If he were dead, they would have been here by now.

That friend who put the poem in her husband’s casket, she and I used to talk about casualties a lot. In one of our conversations she said, “You’re strong. When it happens, you’ll be okay. It will make you sad, but it won’t destroy you.”

“When,” not “if”She corrected herself immediately,

but it had already been said. It felt like a “when” to me in those days. I at-tended so many memorial services for friends then. It seemed like there was at least one every month. It seems like those days are behind us now. Like we are the lucky ones. The ones who got away. But I’m sure it felt like that to Taya Kyle, too.

“American Sniper” is a excellent film, deserving of all the praise it is re-ceiving. It has started a long overdue conversation, about warriors, and fam-ily, and life after war. About PTSD and what it really means. About the nature of people who will give absolutely ev-erything they have – their arms, their legs, their minds, their years, their families, their memories, their lives – for something bigger than themselves. For their friends. For their country. For their childrens’ futures.

the boys i mean are not refined they shake the mountains

when they dance

Rebekah Sanderlin is an Army wife, a mother of three and a professional writer. She writes the Must Have Parent column for Military.com. Her work has been published nationwide including in The Washington Post, The New York Times, National Public Radio, CNN, and in Self and Maxim magazines. She currently serves on the advisory boards of the Mili-tary Family Advisory Network and Blue Star Families.

By RebekahSanderlin

When the husband of one of my close friends was killed in Iraq, she slipped an E.E. Cummings poem into his casket before he was buried at Arlington. That poem ran through my mind, in verses and lines, like a skipping CD, the whole time I watched “American Sniper” in the theater this past weekend.

the boys i mean are not refined they go with girls who buck and bite

I’ve read many commentaries about this movie in the past week, most of them heralding it for telling the wife and family side of war.

It’s true. More than any war movie I’ve seen – and loving a man who lives at the ‘tip of the spear’ means that

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Knute Rockne — Notre Dame

1. “It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!

2.”Show me a good and gracious loser, and I’ll show you a failure.”

3. “I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.”

Bear Bryant — Alabama

1. “If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold , you gotta know the password, “Roll, tide, roll!”

2. “I make my practices real hard — because if a play-

er is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.”

Wally Butts — Georgia

“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who

doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.”

Darrell Royal — Texas

1. “Three things can hap-pen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad.”

2. “They cut us up like boarding house pie, and that’s real small pieces.”

3. “We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.”

Walt Garrison — Oklahoma State“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas

Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me. “He said, “Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.”

Lou Holtz - AR — MN — Notre Dame — SC

1. “Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.”

2. “The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.”

Bobby Bowden — Florida State

1. “Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.”

2. “After you retire, there’s only one big event left, and I ain’t ready for that.”

John McKay — USC1. “We didn’t tackle well

today, but we made up for it by not blocking.”

2. After USC lost 51-0

to Notre Dame, his post game message to his team was, “All those who need showers, take them.”

Duffy Daugherty — Michigan State

1. “I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.”

2. “Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a

contact sport.”

Spike Dykes —Texas Tech

1. “They whipped us like

a tied up goat.”2. “Oh, we played about

like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.”

Frank Leahy — Notre Dame

“A school without foot-ball is in danger of dete-riorating into a medieval study hall.”

Woody Hayes — Ohio State“There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like get-

ting the hell kicked out of you.”

Bob Devaney — Nebraska“I don’t expect to win enough

games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win

enough to warrant an investigation.”

Joe Namath — Alabama

“When you win, nothing hurts.”

Alex Karras — Iowa “I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms — Tru-

man’s and Eisenhower’s.”

Erik Russell — Georgia Southern

“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.

Murray Warmath — Minnesota

“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great ed-

ucation.

Shug Jordan — Auburn

“Always remem-ber Goliath was a 40 point favorite

over David.”

Bowden Wyatt — Tennessee

“My advice to defensive

players is to take the shortest

route to the ball, and arrive in a

bad humor.”

Words of wisdom from FB coaches“ The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” — Knute Rockne

Lou Holtz

“ Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football”

— John Heisman

Alex Karras


ACROSS1. Lather5. Close9. Man13. Again14. Keyboard instrument16. Many millennia17. Location18. Crown19. Alumnus20. Precipitous22. Iotas24. Resorts26. Negatively charged particle27. Kneecap30. Free33. Scaremonger35. Curses37. Toss38. Anagram of “Amend”41. Liveliness42. Quietens45. Flogger48. Intensify51. A baby’s room52. A French dance54. G G G G55. Adjuvants59. Gladden62. Stinging remark63. Queues65. God of love66. Wicked67. Barges68. Knights69. Sort70. Sea eagle71. Achy

DOWN1. Back talk2. Module3. Abhorrent4. Cleaning device5. Excluding6. Anagram of “Sire”7. Small terrestrial lizard8. Eager9. Deep purplish red10. Relating to aircraft11. Give temporarily12. Terminates15. Point of greatest

despair21. Inside of your hand23. Incite25. Slender27. Gloomy atmosphere28. Not silently29. An Old Test. king31. Showman32. Contemptuous look34. Explosive36. Agile39. A very long period40. Medication

43. Readable44. Petty quarrel46. Tall woody plant47. Futile49. Iniquities50. Beginner53. Adult male singing voice55. Assist in crime56. A pioneer in electrochemistry57. Trickle58. Stitched60. Unit of pressure61. Being64. South southeast

PU

ZZ

LE

PA

GE

This week’s solutions:

SUDOKUThe rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks

so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.

Just for

LaughsRunner

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his back-pack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.

The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”

“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to out-run you.”

You betA guy enters a bar carrying an al-

ligator. Says to the patrons, “Here’s a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. The ga-tor will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit

unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks.” The crowd agrees.

The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator’s mouth. Ga-tor closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his geni-

tals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It’s a woman. “I’ll give it a try,” she says, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

Talking dogA guy has a talking dog. He brings

it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed agent. “Okay, Sport,” the guys says to the dog, “what’s on the top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies.

“Oh, come on...” the talent agent re-sponds. “All dogs go ‘roof’.”

“No, wait,” the guy says. He asks the dog “what does sandpaper feel like?” “Rough!” the dog answers.

The talent agent gives a conde-scending blank stare. He is losing his patience. “No, hang on,” the guy says. “This one will amaze you.” He turns and asks the dog: “Who, in your opin-ion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “Ruth!” goes the dog.

And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office

onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?”

Snake biteTwo campers are hiking in the woods

when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doc-tor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy ru-ins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”

Great seatsIt’s Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final,

and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, notic-ing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stan-ley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find some-one else, a friend or relative, or even

a neighbor to take the seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

The trickA young boy enters a barber shop

and the barber whispers to his custom-er, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The bar-ber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

New diet planA woman walks into her doctor’s of-

fice and says, “Doctor, I need to lose weight fast.” The doctor replies, “In-stead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt.”

Two months later, she comes in and says, “Doctor, it’s a dream come true. I’m half the size I was.” But the doc-tor notices that she is bouncing up and down.

He asks, “Where did you get this twitch?” The woman replies, “I don’t have a nervous twitch; I’m chewing bubble gum.”


Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2014 KB Home (KBH). A 1.4kW solar power system is included as a standard component of a new KB home at Mahogany Hills. Energy bill savings are based on estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas for a home as designed (not as built) with the corresponding solar power system compared to estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas without the system. KBH makes no guarantee of energy production by any solar power system installed with a home or of energy costs or savings, if any, experienced by any homeowner. Energy costs and savings, if any, will vary by floor plan, home size, occupancy, daily activities, appliance usage, thermostat settings, climate conditions and orientation of the home and the solar power system size and operating conditions, among other factors. KBH reserves the right to

modify, discontinue or replace any solar options at any time without prior notice. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. Solar power systems are supplied by SunPower Corporation®. KBH and SunPower Corporation are independent companies. SunPower and the SunPower logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of SunPower Corporation. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. Photos may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-3959

Ironwood at Mahogany Hills in MurrietaHomes from the mid $300s• 2,282–4,506 sq. ft., 3–6 bedrooms., 2–6 baths• parks, baseball field, tot lots and more• solar power system included as a standard featureFrom I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4150

Acacia at Mahogany Hills in MurrietaHomes from the mid $300s• 2,343–2,607 sq. ft., 3–5 bedrooms, 2–4 baths• single-story homes• solar power system included as a standard featureFrom I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4057

BEOPEN

Many KB Home neighborhoods feature amazing amenities like parks, ball fields, playgrounds and more. At KB Home, we’re ready to build you a great new home AND a relaxing new lifestyle.

Neighborhood parks. Yours at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta.

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