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Issue No. 46 March 2019

Editor: John Salter

Mark Paxton, our 2019 Captain reports on his first few months in office.

Firstly, many thanks to you all for electing me as Captain for this year. When I

originally asked Dave Thorne if I could help out in any way after he took over

from Graham earlier last year, I certainly wasn’t expecting to be Vice-Captain and

now Captain. The very good news about Graham is that he is back playing and

completed 16 holes recently.

Dave Thorne had a great year, under his captaincy. We won 11 club matches, lost

6 and won The Bedford Cup. Dave also reduced his handicap from 17 to 13 and

had a hole in one – not an easy act to follow. Thanks must also go to Tony

Mackay for volunteering to be my Vice-Captain. I’m sure we will all enjoy his

involvement. The committee and other volunteers are the real strength of the Seniors’ section and give up a

considerable amount of their time to help make our events and our total golfing experience so enjoyable.

The Section has grown considerably in recent months. Last year the maximum number of golfers we had

for any event was 51; this year we have already had 58 and 56 which is quite amazing on cold and frosty

Winter mornings. The fact that we could have up to 70 in the Summer has been recognised by the Club,

who have given us additional starting times, with a promise of more if needed.

Our first Club match is against Sharnbrook at the end of March and I would like us to have teams of 8 pairs

instead of our usual 6 this year. Virtually all of the Clubs that we play have teams of 8 available and we

have a much larger Seniors’ Section than most. I am hoping that the influx of players from other Clubs, who

have previously played in Club matches, should ensure we have enough players to fill the extra places.

A good start to my year has been winning the Captain v Vice Captain trophy. My grateful thanks for your

generosity, as the event raised £141 for my charity, Macmillan Cancer Support.

One of the events I am hoping to organise for this year is a Senior’s Invitation Day. It would probably be an

afternoon of golf followed by a two course meal and a quiz. There would be a selection of prizes and a

raffle. Members could optionally invite guests who are not members of the Club to attend. The price for

guests would be around £32. There would be no obligation to bring a guest and it is designed to be a

relaxing social event which would also raise money for my charity this year – Macmillan Cancer Support.

Please let me know what you think could be included as part of this event. I understand that the Ladies’

Section run something similar each year with over 100 attendees.

There was an article in one of the newspapers recently that mentioned the NHS, in certain areas of the

country, are experimenting with offering free golf lessons for OAP’s due to the many health benefits that

have been identified, both physical and mental.

Must ask Carl if he will accept NHS prescriptions!!

Features: P1 Captain’s Report P2 Luca Thompson and golf

P3 Jim Duffield’s Profile P5 Competition Winners P6 Seniors’ Captains 1995-2019 P7 Bob Hunt’s Hobby P11 George Holt’s obituary

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My wish is that we all have a very healthy and enjoyable 2019 being involved with the playing and social

side of the Seniors’ group. Please let me know if you have any ideas on how we can improve this

experience in any way, that will be of benefit to all members (handicap adjustments excluded!).

InPutt has moved into new territory, showcasing a 5-handicap lady, who is a member of the Club and has aspirations to be a tour golf professional. 16 year-old Luca Thompson reveals how she intends to fulfil her ambition.

I started playing golf competitively just less than 3 years ago. My first handicap was 36 and I managed to rapidly reduce this. In my first year, I got my handicap down to 20; the next year I decreased it to 13 and this year I got down to a 5 handicap. My biggest achievements so far include representing Pavenham Park Golf Club in the English Bridgestone regional medal twice - qualifying to play in the national final in both years. In the first year, I achieved a 4th place out of 88 players. The second year, I managed to beat 92 golfers to win this regional event and was the

only player to score under par. I also qualified to play in the national finals of the Ping 4-ball competition. My partner Imogen Morton King and I came runners up out of 16,000 entrants. Unfortunately, we lost on countback by 1 shot! Last year I represented my county in a mixed team event in the East Region Schools Championship. The biggest highlight at my home Club was when I beat the course record. I am coached by my dad - Zac Thompson. He is an incredible coach, who has a great passion for teaching and constantly works to improve my swing. He has taught many great players, including Ian Poulter, so he therefore has a great insight into how top players manage their game, physically as well as mentally. I couldn’t ask for a better coach, as he believes in me and is willing to help whenever he can. I practice golf whenever I can every day. Days on which I don’t work, I practice around 7-8 hours; on other days, I try to do at least 4 hours practice. I work on all areas of my game each day. I love to practice and create games in my head and I try to score better each time I practice. My aims for this year are to try to shoot under par as many times as possible and play in lots of competitions, to get good experience and lower my handicap. Once I am regularly shooting under par, I will consider turning professional. I love playing golf, as it is a sport in which you can compete against yourself, as well as against everyone else, regardless of abilities. Furthermore, you are judged by your scores rather than other people judging and scoring you, therefore the responsibility rests entirely on your shoulders. I have met some incredible people during my golfing career. I love my home Club Pavenham Park Golf Club, as the members are so friendly and welcoming and I love the course, as it is peaceful and challenging and it plays differently whenever I play.

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I hope to keep improving my golf, as it is a sport I love so much and I believe that if I practice harder and more than anyone else, some day I will be the best.

In this article, Jim Duffield took time off from his Competitions’ Secretary role to tell

us about his early years in soccer and his subsequent career.

James Edwin Duffield was born in Silloth on the Solway in Cumberland now Cumbria

(God’s Country) on 18th April 1958, the only son of Ted and Sadie

Duffield. But many people said I hope they broke the mould after

meeting me over the years! Dad was posted to Silloth in the 2nd World

War where he met and married my Mum just after the war in 1945. So

it took 13 years of trying before I was born, But then again they say

practice makes perfect!

Dad was posted to Aden in South Yemen in 1962 for two years, where

I started my education, but as school finished due to the 40 degrees

heat at 12.00pm, I spent most afternoons swimming at the Italian Club.

Returning to the UK, Dad was posted to RAF Cardington, where he

managed the gas plant that made all the oxygen for the RAF and where I had an idyllic

childhood playing cricket, golf – in fact, any sport that involved a bat or a ball. But football

was always my first love.

One of the most interesting people I met as I was growing up was Arthur Bell, one of the 6

survivors of the R101 disaster. Talking to him about how he survived the disaster, he said the

crew knew the airship was unlikely to make it the 6,000 miles to India, as they had

overloaded the Airship with too many heavy gifts and they knew the airship did not have

enough lift for the additional weight that was loaded on board. This was proved when it

nose-dived into a hill in Northern France. Arthur said he knew there was going to be a fire

rush though the airship, as the hydrogen bags exploded and sent an inferno through the ship

from nose to tail. Arthur covered himself with water and wet towels and walked through the

flames and off the airship as it landed on the ground and ran away from the disaster which

killed 48 people.

I learned to play golf at the age of 12 on the Silloth beaches, after my uncle George gave me

an old 7 iron and pitching wedge before my parents bought me a half set of clubs for

Christmas after my uncle said I had a half decent swing. I joined Beds and County Golf

Club and Silloth on the Solway Golf Clubs back in 1975 at £5 a year junior membership.

Golf, tennis and cricket continued to be my Summer sports and football my Winter sport. I

played for the Beds and District County football teams before being selected to play for

Eastern England and then England National Association Boys’ Clubs. We were the first

England team to play in Northern Ireland in 1975 since the troubles, which was pretty scary

for 16 year-old-boys staying in a hotel the night before the game in Larne, being guarded by

British Troops with machine guns. I had a decent match but was still surprised to be asked

by a Middlesbrough scout for Northern Ireland to go for a 2 weeks trial to Ayresome Park,

which was Middlesbrough’s home ground and at that time was managed by Jack Charlton.

The Club had players like Graeme Souness and Terry Cooper playing for them. I was

roomed with a young lad whose parents paid for him to travel from Australia, to be on trial at

Middlesbrough for a year, an unknown lad wanting to be a professional footballer called

Craig Johnston. He later followed Souness to Liverpool and developed the Adidas Predator

football boot.

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After 2 trial spells at Middlesbrough I realised I was not good enough or dedicated enough to

make the professional grade and was released and came back to Bedford to play football for

Ampthill Town, Kempston Rovers, Wootton Blue Cross, Potton United and Bedford United,

at that time under an outstanding manager called Charlie Berry, who should have been

England’s next manager. But they went for a younger 72 year old Roy Hodgson! I also

played the 75/76 season at The Bird in Hand FC with an old ex pro Dave Corbett who was

obviously finishing his career when I was starting mine!

One of my earlier claims to fame was when I was picked for the Bedford League to play the

Luton League in a representative game at Luton. Before the game, a cocky Luton reporter

asked our manager if he could talk live on Chiltern radio to one of our players before the

game’ and guess who was the one asked to answer his questions. Yes, you guessed right:

Duffield. His first question to me live on radio in the dressing room with all our players

listening was: “It was 25 years ago when this last fixture was played and the Luton League

won 5-0.” Then, with a cocky grin on his face, he added: “How do you think you will get on

today?” To which I said into the microphone: “If they have the same side we will give them

a bloody good hiding.”….End of interview but lots of laughter in our dressing room and yes,

we won the match 3-1.

After finishing playing football at the ripe old age of 40. I started coaching my son’s team at

Kempston Rovers and then Bedford Town before becoming the Bedfordshire County Under

18’s Manager, a post I held for 5 years before falling out with the Beds FA, which is another

story for a few holes of golf or over a beer.

Managing U18 football is like being Competitions’ Secretary for the PPGC Seniors but at

least I do not have to deal with your parents if you play badly or do not get a game!

So after being rejected by Middlesbrough, I completed my British Telecom apprenticeship

and became a BT and then a GPO engineer, driving around Bedford in my yellow Busby van

fixing peoples’ house and business telephone systems. In 1981 the BT engineers played the

BT telephonists in a game of rounders in Bedford Park, where I met my wife of 36 years,

Karen, and I still say when we go out that it is the most expensive sport I have ever played!

In 1993 we were blessed with our only child Lewis, who is now 26: a tall good-looking lad.

He must take after his mum!

Following the deregulation of telecommunication industry by Maggie Thatcher I saw the

opportunities in the private sector and left BT in 1987 to join Bhs to install and manage their

Network Services and was then promoted to become the Storehouse Networks Manager,

meeting Terence Conran. Thank goodness 5 years later we were outsourced to CSC,

Computer Sciences Corporation, along with my pension, before Phillip Green could get his

bloody hands on it!

CSC is where my working but more importantly my golfing corporate career really took off.

As CSC’s European Networks Manager, I was invited to play in many corporate golfing

events in the UK and Europe, getting the opportunity to play many great courses and meet

and play with the likes of Will Greenwood, Teddy Sheringham, when he was at Millwall,

Frankie Vaughan when he was alive at the Frankie Vaughan classic at Hazelmere Golf Club,

Peter Alliss who can drink more red wine than Charlie Berry at a Dave Fleure BBQ,

Bernhard Hunt, Brian Huggett - our older members may remember them as Ryder Cup

players - Dennis Law, one of my Man U heroes, Dennis Taylor, Geoff Hurst and finally, in

1992 a round with Nick Faldo at the Cisco World Match Play Pro Am at Wentworth with

Fanny. I will bore you with the stories I have from meeting them as I play with you guys for

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hopefully many years to come, God and health willing. I retired from work in September

2012 at the age of 54 and joined PPGC and the Seniors’ Section on my 55th birthday in April

2013. But enough about me: here’s to the next 60 years of fun and laughter in life. Competition Winners 2012-2019

Competition 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

Shaun O’Reilly Cup

John Economides

Dave Atkins

Ted Woodward

Ted Woodward

Ian Wallace

James Hewlett

Dave Fleure

Aston & Toole Trophy

Dave Thorne

Glyn Lee Jim Duffield Roy Davies

Mike Browne

Robert Ingram

Paul Campion

Summer Salver

Neil Platt

Brian Deacon

Charlie Glover

Frank Williams

Michael Taylor

Dave Stephen-

son

Bob Hunt

Autumn Shield

Peter Metcalf/

John Salter

John Econ- omides/

Nick Yelland

Brian Mackett

Paul Smith

Roy Davies

Charlie Glover

Brian Bolton

Mike Wherrett

Richard Day

David Williams

Charlie Glover Roy Davies

Plate Cup/

10thAnniv’ry Sng Trophy

Tom

Mc Conville

Roy Davies Peter

Broadway

Paul

Smith

Dave

Thorne

Michael

Taylor

Mark Paxton

Singles

Knockout Cup

Frank

Williams

D Attkins Charlie

Glover

Jim

Duffield

Frank

Williams

Jim

Duffield

Mark Jeffery

Three Club

Trophy

Brian

Kirkup

J Barber Jerry

Hawkins

Mike Browne Graham Hill David

Atkins

Tony Keating

Yellow Ball

Team Trophy

B. Bolton

Nanette Taylor J. Ashby

R Burrows

G Holt P Smith T Taylor

P. Broadway

Ian Wallace Robin Mowe Harry Sykes

P Broadway,

J Kavanagh, D Fleure, G Hill

M. Bellamy

D. Williams A. McCann B. Panesar

D. Thorne

D. Fleure B. Panasar

M. Paxton

Bill Panesar

Brian Deacon P. Broadway John

Economides

Captain’s Day Trophy

Peter Julyan

Dave Atkins

Hugh Josty Roy Davies

Brian Mackett

James Hewlett

Peter Sly

Seniors’ Champion

Charlie Berry

Brian Deacon

John Umney Jim Duffield

Roger Burrows

James Hewlett

Jim Duffield

Seniors nett

Champion

Nanette

Taylor

David

Fleure

John Umney Jim

Duffield

John Econ

omides

James

Hewlett

Paul Campion

Brian

Farman Vase

John

Umney Peter Hasler

Charlie

Glover Frank Williams

John Barber

Peter Law

Graham

Hill Terry Woodward

Andrew

McCann Dave Thorne

Robert

Ingram Keith Jaynes

Dave Corbett

Robert Ingram

Summer Merit Division 1

Peter Julyan

Frank Williams

Paul Smith Frank Williams

John Econ omides

Charlie Glover

Dave Thorne

Summer Merit Division 2

Peter Metcalf

Harry Sykes

Brian Mackett

P Broadway/ John Economides -

Mick Bellamy

Peter Baker

Paul Campion

Summer Eclectic Div.1

Dave Thorne

Paul Smith

Summer Eclectic Div. 2

John Barber

Tony Mackay

Pairs Knockout

D. Atkins F. Williams

J Econ omides

N Yelland

Still to be played

D Atlins F Williams

J Duffield M Wherrett

John Econ--

omides David Stephen-

son

Hugh Josty David Williams

Jerry Hawkins

Memorial Trophy

Peter Planterose/

Dave Thorne

C. Berry D. Fleure

Keith Jaynes Peter Baker

Dusty Bin

Trophy

Steve Simms

Division 1 medals:

(April); (May); (June); (July); (August); (September); (October) Division 2 medals:

(April); (May); (June); (July); (August); (September); (October)

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Seniors’ Captains: 1995-2019

Brian Houchin 1995/6 Alistair Kinnon 1997 Bob Aston 1998 Shaun O’Reilly 1999

Michael Thomas 2000

2000 John Parrott 2001

Peter Hasler 2002

2002 Peter Daniel 2003

2003

Brian Farman 2004 Neville Houchin 2005 John Salter 2006 David Davies 2007

Robin Cooper 2008 Michael Taylor 2009 John Ayers 2010 Tony Finch 2011

Roy Davies 2012

Dave Fleure 2013 Frank Williams 2014 Mike Wherrett 2015

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Bob Hunt describes how a hobby can last a Lifetime.

As a youngster I was always sport minded and loved all ball sports and athletics. Golf

did not figure, I am sad to say, until much later. Football, Rugby, Basketball and

Cricket were always close to my spare time activities.

However being born and brought up close to the English

Channel coast in the small village of Rustington in West

Sussex, it was I suppose inevitable, that I would, at some

stage of my life take part in fishing of one sort or another.

My early encounters started at the age of seven when,

during my frequent visits to the seashore I met a family

who came from Kingston in Surrey. They enjoyed visiting

the coast for family days out and the men and eldest sons

could fish for three or four hours as the tide came in. It was not long before they

made up a rod for me and allowed me to have a go. The first fish I caught was a Sea

Bass only a couple of pounds but none the less a “catch”. On subsequent trips I

managed to add Grey Mullet and some Sand Dabs to my growing impressive record.

Without the help of the Kingston group I was not anywhere near as successful though.

My next encounter took the form of Trot Line Fishing. This is the art of laying 100 to

150 hooks on short pieces of catgut and attaching them every 18 inches or so to a main

line. This line is then laid at low water on a suitable sandbank so that when the tide

comes in it covers the hooks and then you go home and return some 12 hours later, to

see what the tide will uncover.

Initially my colleague Lance and I were only moderately successful catching the odd

Plaice and Sole in return for our labours. We were tipped off that the tide does not

come onto the beach at 90 degrees but at a slight angle and we should lay the main line

Peter Broadway 2016

Brian Mackett 2017

Graham Hill 2018 to May Dave Thorne 2018 May to Dec. Mark Paxton 2019

The welcoming sight of the calm Littlehampton harbour

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about 15 to 20 degrees off square so that the bait was free to float rather than get

tangled round the main line.

This we did and the results were fantastic. It was often the case that we could catch

up to 30 or 40 fish in a session. Mainly flat fish like Flounders, Plaice and Lemon Sole.

We were suddenly popular with our parents, neighbours and other friends, but far less

so with our teachers at school.

If you can imagine we used to arrive at the beach some two hours before our line

became uncovered to enable us the time to dig in the sand for lug and rag worms to

bait the hooks and it was hard work. Then as the tide receded and exposed our lines

we had to remove the fish and rebait the hooks to catch the next tide. We were

always fighting time, providing the tidal pattern allowed, to arrive at school just as the

bell went. Smelling fishy made us quite unpopular.

That particular activity lasted for some time, well before the beam trawlers that visit

our shores nowadays were heard of. It would be a labour of love today for very little

return.

Once I started work, although the ball sports still took up most of my spare time, I

started a Friday night Fishing Club where some of us work-chums went out from

Littlehampton some 25 to 30 miles in search of big Conger Eels, Cod, Bass, Tope and

Skate. We would leave port around 4.00pm and get back about 12 hours later, totally

knackered but usually successful.

My best night came when I caught a Conger of 42lbs and two of the biggest Crabs I

have ever seen. The Conger took over 20 minutes to get into the

boat, whereupon I undid the wire trace that housed the hook and slid

the beast into hold. Some 3 hours later, as we were steaming back

to Littlehampton, I exposed the fish only to find he was still lively

and ready to bite anything in front of his nose. The skipper advised

we leave him until back in port, where he gutted the thing and cut it

in 6 inch portions.

The skipper told me how to prepare and cook the Conger and I have

to say it tasted as good as any Cod I have eaten.

Sandra had to enlist the help of friends to dress the crab and we shared the spoils

with them.

When we moved to Falmouth in 1977 I continued my exploits with the rod and line and

enjoyed a lot of success on the rocks at the mouth of the Helston River at Mawnan

Smith.

However my most memorable trip was via boat over the Manacle Rocks using a lure to

tempt large Ling. We fished for two hours with nothing and then almost like someone

had told the fish to take the lure we caught loads. Most were over 10lbs and some

much bigger. As the light began to fade, the previously calm water began to get

choppy and the famous Manacle Bell started to ring, warning us to keep clear of rocks.

I could hear that bell in my sleep for weeks afterwards.

Landing my 42lb conger Conger

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Another good day out with the family was to Porthoustock on the Lizard Peninsula where

I could fish off the low lying cliffs and the kids could fish off the safe rocks. We

feathered for Mackerel and usually caught enough to barbecue to take home. When I

got fed up with feathering, I changed the tackle and went for the Wrasse that

inhabited the rocky caverns below. They were a difficult species to catch as they have

“rubbery lips” that prove difficult to penetrate. This area had very deep water and

was used by the staff from RNAS Culdrose for training their divers and pilots for Air

Sea Rescue activities. If you were lucky you could witness the training during your

visit.

It was in Cornwall that I started to course fish in inland lakes

for Carp, Tench, Roach, Pike and similar fresh water species.

My eldest son also started course fishing in Cornwall, a hobby

he has continued with, and today owns kit that runs into many

thousands of pounds.

One of my most memorable trips was to a lake in France some

20 miles from St Malo, where, with my son and brother-in-law,

we fished 24-hour days for 5 days. We caught Carp up to 40

lbs and Pike up to 35 lbs. Why is it that these fish choose to trigger the bite

detectors between 2.00 and 4.00 in the morning, catching us hardy fishermen on the

banks in a tee shirt, underpants and wellington boots? Not a helpful position when you

have been drinking most of the evening!!

Today, I support my efforts on the Golf Course with occasional days fishing at

Biggleswade and a lake near Millbrook. I find it an ideal contrast to golf to spend 6 or

8 hours on a nice sunny day fishing for whatever takes my bait. I have to admit to

being a fine weather fisherman, but I enjoy the relaxation and challenge of trying to

catch a” big un”

So what with my golf, walking our Cockapoo puppy and the odd days fishing, it keeps me

occupied enough to prevent me from going shopping or doing the gardening. Sandra likes

those chores, so I have passed them over to her. She has not said so, but I think she

is grateful.

Extracts from Pavenham Park January 2019 Newsletter

Handicap's / Course Rating:

The R&A and USGA have announced that a new 'World Handicap System' is set to come in to play in 2020. It has been designed to create a more ‘consistent measure of playing ability’. Features of the new system include social

rounds counting towards handicap and an average-based handicap which takes into account your best 8 of the last 20

scores. Flexibility in formats of play, allowing both competitive and recreational rounds to count for handicap purposes ensures that a golfer's handicap is more reflective of potential ability. Furthermore the County have assessed

PPGC giving us a slope rating based on the perceived level of difficulty. Your handicap is then portable from course

to course and country to country based on a calculation between your home course slope rating and the course you are

playing, such that it may increase or decrease your handicap based on the level of difficulty assessed

A dangerous pike’s head

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Course Development Update:

The greenkeeping team have been hard at work further enhancing and improving all areas of the golf course.

Some of the notable changes over the past year include:

- 3rd White Tee levelling and increase in size

- 3rd Approach drainage and path extension

- 4th Yellow Tee extending to Red Tee (in progress)

- 4th Green redevelopment, new back left tier

- 7th Pond clearance

- 7th Green pathway extension

- 10th Tee bank re-turfing

- 11th Tee redevelopment, increase in size

- 14th Yellow Tee new addition

- 14th Bridge redevelopment and drainage

- 14th Greenside bunkers addition

- 18th Yellow Tee redevelopment, increase in size

- Tree works to all trees raising the low branch canopy

- New Hybrid Greensmower purchased. This addition sees the latest technology of a diesel engine combined

with electric reel motors. This reduces 102 potential leak points on the cutting reels associated with other

greensmowers, further protecting our greens

20 Must Know Rules of Golf

1.Drop from knee height (NOT shoulder height)

2. Measure the area to drop in with the longest club in your bag (except a putter)

3. Drop in and play from the relief area

4. When dropping back-on-the-line, your ball cannot be played from nearer the hole than your chosen

reference point

5. Time to search – 3 minutes (NOT 5 minutes)

6. If you accidentally move your ball when searching for it, replace it without penalty

7. No penalty for a double hit – it only counts as one stroke

8. No penalty if your ball hits you or your equipment accidentally after a stroke

9. No penalty if your ball strikes the flagstick when you have chosen to leave it in the hole

10. Spike mark and other shoe damage on the putting green can be repaired

11. Ball accidentally moved on putting green – no penalty and replace

12. Ball marked, lifted and replaced on putting green is moved by wind to another position – replace ball on

the original spot

13. Penalty areas replace water hazards, and you can move loose impediments, ground your club and take

practice swings in penalty areas without penalty, just as you can on the fairway or in the rough

14. You can’t take relief from a penalty area unless you are at least 95% certain your ball is in the penalty

area

15. In bunkers you can move loose impediments

16. In bunkers you cannot touch the sand with your club in the area right in front of or right behind your

ball, during your backswing or in taking practice swings

17. Free relief is allowed if your ball is embedded on the fairway or in the rough (but “embedded” means

that part of your ball is below the level of the ground)

18. Unplayable ball in bunker – extra option to drop outside the bunker for 2 penalty strokes

19. You cannot have your caddie or your partner standing behind you once you begin taking your stance

20. Pace of Play - it is recommended that you take no longer than 40 seconds to make a stroke (and usually

you should be able to play more quickly than that) and Ready Golf in stroke play is encouraged

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Graham Follett writes:

Having read the Nov. 2018 edition of InPutt - and thanks for my profile - I was interested to read the short article about Mickelson, entitled "Talk about sour

grapes!". He said in it:

"I’m going to play courses that I can play and make a lot of birdies – the golf I like to

play.”

So here is my "Response from a high Handicapper."

Typical spoilt brat American!

That's what I would like, Phil. But if it means playing on pristine grass mowed to an exact 1/16 inch (they don't use metric in US) limits, then where's the fun in that?

No. It's much more fun to hack your way out of 18

inch (45cm) grass that's been knotted by the wind

into a bird’s nest, finally losing the plot and slamming your club into the ground, when the ball at last jumps

forward two yards (180 cm) onto the edge of the

fairway. After which, in "high dudgeon" (wherever

that is) you sock the ball under the lip of a greenside

bunker and take 3 to get out of it. Then you eventually lip out from 12 (30 cm) inches for a blob.

If you can do that and still come back the next week

or more, you’re British, through and through!

“Fancy a round with me, Phil?”

.......and Phil is not the only tetchy, top-flight golfer.

According to a piece in a national newspaper entitled “Garcia the brat

shames golf” we read that Sergio is continuing a history of bad behaviour.

After frequent rows with officials and spitting into a championship cup, he

now damages several greens during the Saudi International tournament.

Such a talented golfer: but what a temperament!

George Holt, who died on 5th January, 2019

The celebration of George’s life took place in the function room upstairs at the

Pavenham Park Golf Club. George died of cancer and made it quite clear that he

did not want a traditional funeral, but an occasion, where those attending were not

sad and wearing black. Most of the family said a few words and painted a

glowing picture of a wonderful, loving and rounded father.

George had five children by his first wife Margaret, who flew over from North

Carolina, USA, and one, Holly by his second wife Lesley. They were hoping to

celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary together later this year. But it was not to

be. There are 16 grandchildren.

George had an amazing knack of picking up hobbies, one was classical music –

he loved opera – and another was amateur dramatics, which enabled him to

indulge his considerable acting talent, and then there was photography, which included a dark room, which

masqueraded as a downstairs toilet.

He was an avid Spurs supporter, even though he grew up in London near the old Arsenal Highbury stadium.

Supporting Spurs was a family tradition which he passed onto two of his sons. But his most enjoyable

hobby was the frustrating game of golf and he loved playing at Pavenham and spoke warmly of his many

friends at the Club.

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Dave Atkins walzed to victory in the Individual Walz competition on 15th November.

He received 83 points, but some friends who have seen him on the dance floor said he

would normally be lucky to receive “nul points.” Mike Wherrett, on the other hand,

who came second, can demonstrate some fancy footwork, when doing the walz, but it

obviously did him no favours on this occasion. He only received 79 points from the

judges.

Watch next year’s “Strictly come Dancing”.

Let’s finish with a smile or two.

Ed and Margaret met on a singles cruise and got on like a house on fire. It was obvious that by the end of

the voyage they were smitten with each other and both were wondering whether the affair should continue.

Ed plucked up courage to broach the subject and said: “I’d very much like to continue our relationship but

perhaps I should put my cards on the table and warn you that I’m a total golf nut. I play golf; I read about

golf; I watch golf on TV – in short, I eat, sleep and breathe golf. Say now if you think that’s going to be a

problem.

Margaret responded: “That won’t be a problem, Ed, and since we are being totally honest with each other,

you need to know that for about the last 5 years, I’ve been a hooker.

“I see,” said Ed thoughtfully, then added: “Have you tried keeping your wrists straight when you hit the

ball?”

A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office. The man said to the dentist: “I’m in one hell of a hurry!

I have two mates sitting in my car waiting for us to play golf. So forget about the anaesthetic and just pull

the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10am tee time and it’s 9.30 already. I don’t have time to wait for

the anaesthetic to work!”

The dentist thought to himself: “This is surely a very brave man, asking to have his tooth pulled without

using anything to kill the pain,” so he enquired: “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said: “Open your mouth darling and show him”.

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st

passenger said, "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best Football player in the world. Juventus and my millions of

fans need me, and I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger,

Donald Trump, said, "I am the newly-elected U.S. President, and I am the smartest President in American

history, so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane. The 3rd

passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy: "My son, I am old and don't have

many years left. You have more years ahead, so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little boy said: "That's okay, Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America 's smartest

President took my schoolbag,”😂

The wife was screaming at her Husband: "Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered. As he was walking out the door she yelled, "And .. I hope you die a slow and painful death!" He turned around and replied: "So now you want me to stay?"

If you would like to contribute a piece, which you feel might be of interest to InPutt readers, please do not

hesitate to let me have it.

I would particularly like to hear from those of you who have a hobby or interest e/g/coins, bell ringing, model

making, beer brewing or an event e.g. holiday, visit to a concert, first day at work etc. that you would be

prepared to tell others about.

John Salter 01234 713653 johnsalter7@btinternet.com