paxton the great
Post on 21-Oct-2014
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A Day In The Life Of A PaxtonStudent
DISCLAIMER: Over the last two years, we were supposed to be learning math. However, due to the following reasons, most of us became distracted. As students of the great Matt Paxton, we have come to know these as Paxtonisms. Mr. Paxton: thank you. Not just for the endless homework assignments to advance our mathematical brains, but for these.
Mary Winks repeated all of her announcements over and over and over and over.
And it bugged the heck out of Paxton. He would even yell at the intercom when no one was there.
The common sense wagons gotta come to your house cause if it misses you, youreDONE.
Over the summer the floorsgot waxed and there was a piece of tape waxed overADD much?
Kelsie vs. Paxton(practically every day)
Need I say more?
Oh yeahMauer got hers before Paxton!
But when he got it, it sat in his room for a week becausehe couldnt decide where to put it.
That might be the gayest thingIve ever heard.- Quentin Detillion
I came up with that! - Christina Dawes
Wow I made up two examplesand one is the exact same as the other.
I have never seen thisgraph beforeyeah I haveits probably been a longtime.
Putting the fun back infunctions.
Its a lawyer firm.- Ryan Valentine
Theres no amby goody.
Ever see a baseball?
Its like trying to kill an ant witha hand gernade.
Plastic lieing box.
Magiced it up!
Paxton hit a deerfour weeksafter he paid his car off; in thesame spot he hit a deer 2 yearsbefore on his sisters birthday.
If my last name was Potter,I would name my kid Harry.
Paxton was duct taped to a desk during a fire drill in high school.
Paxtons friend hit a cow and totaled his carand the cow.
Another friend hit a horse and killed it.
If you were stranded on a desert island and you left yourchain rule at home, you couldprobably work it out.
You dont need any gizmosand gadgets, just put it in there.
How do you cheer for Cross country?-Kelsie Connolly
You yell run!-Paxton
Paxtons friend shot a deerin the school parking lot.
Its like trying to kill an ant witha sledgehammer.
Good number monkeys.
My vocal audio.
You just forget your minds.
It doesnt matter if it saysgreen purple dinosaur
Weekly quizzes every week.
That ought to have made sense. I think it made sense to mekind of.
Log is something in the woods.
My daddy bought that for me.(his Winnie the Pooh tie)
Fooplot: its like food without the duh.
808 = BOB
We use a triangle in our stick person cause its a woman.
I bet they wrote it as an Ill betchu.
Mr. Paxton, if those two get together, are we gonna have the UC mascot?
Paxton found a lunch under his desk one day.
You stand out really much.
Heres what ate your lunch right here
I just dyslexiaed that.
Paxton was accused of stealing shovels, painting and letting his dog pee on the ZT trackand still won SVC Coach of the Year.
Some days my brain works, some days it doesnt. I never know when its gonna happen.
I hate teaching junior high. It drives me nutstheyre not even humans.
It would be like sending a million U.S. troops to clear out the desert.
Im the only person to put the entire school district on probation.
When youve been at the school long enough that you start to look like the mascot, its pretty bad.
One of the trailer park kids decided to kill a coyote and throw it in the backyardwe suspect the Quincels are involved.
Dont ask me to explain it because I will blow your mind and probably mine in the process.
Aww look, the x disappeared making this a happy problem.
Im allergic to money.
Thats gotta be a girl cause theres not a boy basketball player in the school that could make that shot.
Hyperactive gerbil mode.
Keep lettin it be what its supposed to do.
Santa Claus has to come save youtheres no help for you.
Youre a smart one, thats why they call you a SmartBoard.
Purple monkey dishwasher.
Youre know youre gettin thrown right? (to the phone)
Now thats shells with cheese.
I wonder what the Muslims call it, cause you know that theyre not calling it the Horn of Gabriel.
Its like watching a cow eat a cheeseburger.
Senior Story Time
They werent vicious, they just wandered around looking for grass. (Berne Union 7th graders)
- Yelled at a deer, tried to shoot it, the gun kicks back and hits him in the head.- Hit the same deer with the truck later, thought it was dead but it wasnt. Gary wrestled it.
Jumps out of a tree stand and sumo-wrestled a deer. He was attacked by a squirrelEven got stuck in a corn field and didnt know where he was.
Im gonna find a board and fix his wagon."
My dad being an ex-marine thought we hit a pedestrian.
Dont cook the bear.
The world is an exciting place. Dont bury your head in the sand.