Relationship Building, Establishing Trust, and Creating a Culture of Mutual Respect and Support

Margaret Peterson, World Language Program AdministratorSan Francisco Unified School District

Or They’re WallsWords are Windows

Trust

The ability to establish, grow, extend, and restore trust truly is the key leadership competency of the new global economy.

Trust

Low trust creates: • Hidden agendas• Politics• Interpersonal conflicts• Win-lose thinking• Defensive & protective communication

Low trust slows everything – every decision, every communication, every relationship

Relationship Building

When two people create a relationship that is built on honesty, openness, trust and respect, they accomplish the outcomes they desire.

Novel Ideas Only Strategy How can a cooperating teacher and

mentor build a trusting relationship with their student teacher? Form groups of 3 Everyone numbers a blank paper 1-8 Brainstorm answers to the prompt above Draw a line under the last answer

Novel Ideas Only Strategy How can a cooperating teacher and

mentor build a trusting relationship with their student teacher? All groups stand One person reads list, then group sits

down Remaining groups read “novel ideas

only” Other groups record new ideas below the

line

Your ideas

Recognizing Rapport

Feeling connected to another person Being “in sync” with another person Feeling in harmony with another

person Feeling a deep state of

understanding and appreciation of another person

(Facilitation Skills for Chaotic Times, 2008)

Establishing Rapport

Listening and trying to understand each other

Sharing personal information and values and finding common connections

Experiencing a similar crisis, dilemma or challenge

Speaking in the same language patterns

Matching body movements and gestures(Facilitation Skills for Chaotic Times, 2008)

Teachers Have Feelings: What Can We Do About It? Staff Development programs are

moving beyond the “what” and the “how” of teaching practices

They are focusing on the “who” – the human being in the role of educator – and integrating the “who” with the “what” and the “how”(Journal of Staff Development, 2000)

A Model for Educational ChangeA Model for Educational Change

Obtaining Information

Obtaining Emotional Support

Reflecting and

Planning

Taking Action

How can we be heard?

Dyads Support Groups Listening Coaching

Constructivist Learning

Just as students must construct their understanding of a subject, teachers must construct their understanding of teaching that subject.

Teachers need time to reflect on and express feelings about their own learning and teaching.

Constructivist Listening

“I agree to listen to you.” For the benefit of the speaker Requires construction of thoughts

and change in beliefs Cognitive and affective process

results in increased understanding Emotional distrust interferes with

listening

DYAD – Ground Rules

1. Equal time to talk2. No interruptions, no advice3. Double confidentiality4. No criticism

(Weissglass, 2000)

DYAD – Practice

One person speaks for two minutes Listener does not interrupt, offer

advice, or make any comments at all When timer sounds switch roles

DYAD – Practice

What is a challenge you are currently facing at work or at home?

DYAD – Debrief

What did it feel like not to be able to interrupt?

What did it feel like to be heard?

Dyads in Action

Teachers using dyads in professional development report:

“ We have grown closer and more trusting of each other and therefore have freed ourselves to be better teachers.”

Are support groups just for people with problems? NO! Yet, how many teachers participate

in support groups for teachers? Anyone trying to make professional

improvements, particularly people who have a responsibility for nurturing children, can benefit from talking about their feelings in an emotionally supportive environment.

Different groups have different purposes Discussion groups Action groups Dyads/Support groups Coaching groups

Listening Exercise

What is something you recently learned? How did you feel as you were learning? When did you feel successful?

Listening Exercise

What is something you recently learned?

How did you feel as you were learning? When did you feel successful?

One person speaks for two minutes The other person listens without interrupting When the timer sounds, the listener summarizes

what the speaker said in the form of questions “Is __ what you mean?”

Reverse roles

Listening – Debrief

What did it feel like not to be able to interrupt?

What did it feel like to be heard?

Which way did you prefer to be heard? How did it feel to be heard in

different ways (e.g., dyad, listening exercise)?

Dyads Support Groups Listening Coaching

Trust is essential

We must provide teachers with opportunities to develop trusting collegial relationships so that they can reflect on their own beliefs, construct their own understanding, work through feelings that inhibit change, and make decisions about how to take action.

Relational Trust in Schools Trust is the connective tissue that

holds improving schools together.(Truth in Schools: A Core Resource of Improvement, 2002)

References Bay Area Coalition for Equitable Schools,

2009 Nonviolent Communication: Making

Collaboration Real, Empowering the Workplace, 2011

Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion, 1999

Tschannen-Moran, Trust Matters: Leadership for Successful Schools, 2004

Weissglass, Journal of Staff Development, 2000

Zuieback, Facilitation Skills for Chaotic Times, 2008