IV. NEGOTIATION

B. HOW TO DEFUSE

CONFLICTS AND UTILIZE NEGOTIATION

SKILLSDEFUSING AND HANDLING CONFLICT

DEFUSE CONFLICTS: Step one

Step one:

Make sure you perceive the problem accurately

DEFUSE CONFLICTS: Step two

Step two:

Decide if the battle is worth fighting

What really matters to you?

How sure are you that you are right?

Whenever you are angry you have a choice between staying angry or letting your anger go – let go of anger over trivial matters

DEFUSE CONFLICTS: Step three

Step three:

Use your anger to resolve conflict, not to exacerbate it

DO NOT ACUSE, ATTACK OR CALL PEOPLE NAMES

After you have expressed your anger, don’t feel guilty, don’t hold a grudge, don’t sulk

Forgive and forget

Remember being angry at someone doesn’t necessarily mean hate or disrepect, simply that you want to resolve a conflict together

FIVE RESPONSES TO CHOOSE

FROM WHEN HANDLING CONFLICT

1. COMPETITION:

This is aggressive and uncooperative

• setting up a win-lose situation

• CREATES a competition set up between the two parties, one person has more authority than the other

• It forces a resolution.

• It is very power oriented

RESPONSE TWO

2. ACCOMODATION:

• This is uncooperative, but unassertive

• setting up a lose-win situation

• accommodating the individual at your own expense,

• you end up feeling resentful and angry;

• the conflict remains

RESPONSE THREE

3. AVOIDANCE:

• This is unassertive and uncooperative

• creating a lose-lose situation

RESPONSE FOUR

4. COMPROMISE:

• this is moderately assertive and cooperative

• with a modified win-lose situation

RESPONSE FIVE

5. COLLABORATION:

• This is a fully assertive and cooperative

• involving mutual problem solving

• and a compromise that sets up a win-win situation