ips newsletter fall 2013 - intentional peer support · ips newsle"er fa# 2013...

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IPS Newsleer Fa 2013 Intentional Peer Support www.intentionalpeersupport.org [email protected] Moving Towards Intentional Peer Support emerged around 1995 at the creative edge where lived personal experience, academic exploration, and a group of people willing to take some risks all met. For many years Shery Mead (the developer of IPS) did much of the work solo (along with creating one of the Eirst peer respites). In 2006, Chris Hansen moved over from New Zealand with a training background and human rights framework to help cocreate the vision. Since then, Intentional Peer Support has been launched in a number of countries around the world and been adopted by states and organizations in the United States. We are excited to welcome Steven Morgan onto the IPS team as Operations Manager. Steven brings his own lived experience with using and surviving mental health services, working as a peer worker in a number of settings, running a peer center, and developing a Soteria respite. His passion for human rights and social justice Eits well within the IPS framework. He has both a keen academic understanding of the roots of IPS, and the organizational and management skills that IPS needs to grow and move forward. Artwork by e.m.6ilson www.em6ilsonsurvivalart.com Beth Filson is a selftaught artist who resides in Western Massachusetts. She facilitates IPS and is a consultant in traumainformed peer support. Newsletter Submissions We warmly welcome art, stories, and articles related to IPS for consideration in future newsletters! Please email [email protected] In IPS, we want to pay attention to the stories we are telling each other and ourselves about who we are and how the world works. We want to be curious about the events that have taken place in our lives that shape our personal stories, or narrative. We want to create relationships based on trust and safety where power is shared, and no one person’s story becomes the only story, or the only truth. If we can stay focused on what we both need in order to stay connected, we can begin to explore our old stories and play with new meaning meaning that has the potential to transform our lives. In this Issue Joining The Conversation by Steven Morgan Talking In Ways That Can Be Heard by Shery Mead & Sarah Knutson Upcoming IPS Training Announcement

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Page 1: IPS Newsletter Fall 2013 - Intentional Peer Support · IPS Newsle"er Fa# 2013 IntentionalPeerSupport )))))info@intentionalpeersupport.org MovingTowards Intentional) Peer) Support)

IPS Newsletter Fall 2013

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

Moving  TowardsIntentional   Peer   Support   emerged   around   1995   at   the  creative   edge  where   lived   personal   experience,   academic  exploration,   and   a   group   of   people   willing   to   take   some  risks  all  met.    For  many  years  Shery  Mead  (the  developer  of  IPS)  did  much  of  the  work  solo   (along  with  creating  one  of  the  Eirst  peer  respites).    In  2006,  Chris  Hansen  moved  over  from  New  Zealand  with  a  training  background  and  human  rights  framework  to  help  co-­‐create  the  vision.    Since  then,  Intentional  Peer  Support  has  been  launched  in  a  number  of  countries   around   the   world   and   been   adopted   by   states  and  organizations  in  the  United  States.  

We   are   excited   to   welcome   Steven   Morgan   onto   the   IPS  team  as  Operations  Manager.   Steven  brings  his   own   lived  experience   with   using   and   surviving   mental   health  services,  working  as  a  peer  worker  in  a  number  of  settings,  running   a   peer   center,   and   developing   a   Soteria   respite.    His   passion   for   human   rights   and   social   justice   Eits   well  within  the   IPS   framework.    He  has  both  a  keen  academic  understanding   of   the   roots   of   IPS,   and  the  organizational  and  management   skills   that   IPS   needs   to   grow   and  move  forward.

Artwork  by  e.m.6ilson  www.em6ilsonsurvivalart.com

Beth   Filson   is   a   self-­‐taught   artist   who   resides   in  Western  Massachusetts.    She  facilitates  IPS  and  is  a  consultant  in  trauma-­‐informed  peer  support.  

Newsletter  SubmissionsWe  warmly  welcome  art,  stories,  and  articles  related  to  IPS  for   consideration   in   future   newsletters!     Please   email  [email protected]

In   IPS,   we   want   to   pay   attention   to   the  stories   we   are   telling   each   other   and  ourselves  about   who  we   are   and   how  the  world  works.    We  want  to  be  curious  about  the   events   that   have   taken   place   in   our  lives   that   shape   our   personal   stories,   or  narrative.    We  want  to  create  relationships  based   on   trust   and   safety  where   power   is  shared,  and  no  one  person’s  story  becomes  the  only  story,  or  the  only  truth.    If  we  can  stay  focused  on  what  we  both  need  in  order  to  stay  connected,  we  can   begin  to  explore  our  old  stories  and  play  with  new  meaning  –   meaning   that   has   the   potential   to  transform  our  lives.

In  this  Issue♦ Joining  The  Conversation  by  Steven  Morgan♦ Talking  In  Ways  That  Can  Be  Heard  by   Shery  Mead  &  

Sarah  Knutson♦ Upcoming  IPS  Training  Announcement

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Joining  The  Conversation  by  Steven  Morgan

Years   ago,   I   came   dangerously   close   to  retiring   my   aspirations   to   a   prognosis   of   mental  illness.     At   the   time   I   was   having   overwhelming  experiences   that  I  could  not  understand,  and  these  left  me  feeling  isolated  and  apart.    The  story  told  to  me   was   that   I   had   a   volatile   disease   in   my   brain  capable  of   being  managed  but   never   overcome.     I  lost  hope  that   I  would   rejoin   the  human  family   as  an  equal  and  instead  came  to  see  myself  as  separate  from  others  —  even  “less-­‐than.”   At  the  time,   I  attended  many  support  groups  for  my  diagnosis.     They   helped  me   realize   others  were  suffering  similar  problems,   but  the  dialogues  were  eerily  identical   to   those  with  my  psychiatrist.    We   came   together,   reported   on   our   symptoms,  shared  skills  to  manage  our  illness;  we  even  ranted  and   raved   about   the   newest   medications.    Something  always   felt  stuck,   and  while   I   could  not  identify   what   was   so   heavy,   I   often   walked   away  with  my  head  hung  low.       A  turning  point  in  my  life  arrived  as  I  trained  to  become  a  peer  worker  in  Georgia.    Here  was  the  Eirst   time  I   heard  the  word  “recovery”  and  concepts   like  self-­‐determination  and  empowerment.     Still,   I  would  try   to   guess   people’s   diagnoses   because   that  was   how   I  had   related   to   peers   before,   but   to   my  surprise  no   one  was   interested  in  them.     Instead,  we  built   relationships  around  our  own  sense  —  and  language  —  of  what  had  happened  and  was  happening   in  our  lives.    Without  focusing  on  diagnosis,  we  related  through  different  means,  like  music-­‐making,  writing,  politics,  humor,  and  storytelling.    There  was  a  sense  of  camaraderie  that  opened  my  life  to  community.   However,   as   soon   as   I   began   working   in   the   mental   health   system,   I   encountered   many  institutional  structures   that   adversely  shaped  my  peer  relationships.    For  instance,   I  had  to  write  notes  about  people  that  conformed  to  Medicaid  billing  standards,  meaning  the  medical  model,  meaning  I  spent  several  hours  each  day  talking  about  people’s  diagnoses,  how  they  were  “doing,”  and  what  actions  they  were  “taking”  to  address  their  “symptoms.”    I  felt   like  a  psychiatric  stenographer.    I  desperately  tried  to  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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block   this   thinking   from  coloring  my   interactions,   but  alas   found   it   impossible.     Indeed,   in  order   to   be  “good”  at  my  notes,  I  had  to  look  for  things  to  report.    And  what  you  see  is  what  you  get…   Even   when   a   new   job   gave   me   more   freedom   by  requiring   less   documentation,   I   found   myself   in   team  meetings  where  others  talked  about  people’s  diagnoses  and  symptoms  and  what  they  were  going  to  do  about  it,  never  in  the  presence   of   the   identiEied  person.     Sometimes   I   heard  slanders,   prejudices,   hopeless   predictions,   and   downright  gossip   that   churned   my   stomach.     Overtime   I   raised  objections  and  advocated  for  doing  things   differently,   but  I  was   the  only  peer  worker   in  that   agency,   so   it  was   a  steep  climb.   I  also  noticed  that  because  I  was  part  of  “staff,”  peers  often   approached   me   with   reports   on   their   health.    Somehow  we  had  landed  in  a  dynamic  where  I  was  a  model  for   “recovery”  and  others   were   a   few   steps   behind,   if   only  they  could  do  what  I  had  done.   All   of   this   felt   wrong.     Why   weren’t   we   talking  together   about   poverty,   trauma,   institutionalization,   social  barriers,  family  relations,  power  and  privilege?    These  were  huge  elephants   in   the  room,   yet   they   seemed  sedated  by  a  pretense   of  mental   illness.     I   started  writing   about  what   I  

was   seeing,   challenging   my  own   self-­‐conception,   and  reaching  out  for  new  ideas.       When   I   came   across  Intentional  Peer  Support,   my  inspiration   ballooned.     The  material  was  challenging,  but  it   got   me   thinking   again   about   contexts,   in   particular   how   there   are  multiple   truths   and   layered   ways   of   perceiving   phenomena.     I   started  reconsidering   my   own   diagnosis   of   mental   illness   and   asking   powerful  questions:    Where   did   this   idea   come   from?    Whose   truth   is   it?    How   is   it  enabling  or  disabling  my  life?    Who  beneGits  from  this  diagnosis  and  why?    If  I  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

Connect  with  IPS  OnlineWebsite

Our  website  is  undergoing  a  renovation  and  will  be  re-­‐launched  in  the  next  couple  of  months  with  more  resources,  information,  and  opportunities  to  connect.

www.intentionalpeersupport.org

ForumWant   to   connect  and   discuss   all   things   IPS?    Please   consider   joining   our   new   online  discussion  boards!

www.intentionalpeersupportforum.org

FacebookWe’re  on  Facebook!    Please  follow  us  at:

Intentional  Peer  Support

www.facebook.com/groups/74864884916/

IPS  Learning  Communitywww.facebook.com/groups/IPSLearningCommunity/

Mailing  List

If   you   would   like   to   receive   occasional  

updates   and   our   newsletter,   please   join  

our  mailing  list:www.intentionalpeersupport.org/emailmembershipsignup.htm

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were  to  stop  believing  in  this  diagnosis,  what  would  I  be  responsible  for?       These  questions   Elooded  my   relationships   both  at  work   and  home.     They   opened   up   powerful  conversations  where   I   started  speaking  and  listening   differently,   and  overtime   I   came  to   see  a   bigger  

picture  of  why  people  end  up  in  certain  circumstances.    As  my  focus  shifted  from  “What’s  wrong  with  me?”  to   “What  happened  to  me?”,  I  constructed  a  new  narrative  about  my  life.     Having   a  mental   illness   shifted   from   a   reality   to   a  story,   one   possibility  among  many.     Eventually   I   decided  that  story  was  not  serving  me  well  anymore,   so  I  rewrote  it.   In   the  years   that   followed,   I   worked  to   develop  alternative   programs   for   people   in   distress.     While   the  director  of  a  peer-­‐run  agency  called  Another  Way,   I  had  a  unique   opportunity   to   work   in   community   to   co-­‐create  spaces  of  learning,   sanctuary,  creativity,  and  camaraderie.    The   challenges  were   many,   but   so   were   the   possibilities.    What  I  learned  most  was  that  community  is  an  opposite  of  illness   —   that   connections   between   people   and   jointed  effort   literally   creates   health.     Intentional   Peer   Support  provides   a   framework   for   building   these   connections,  understanding   one   another   in   ever-­‐deepening   ways,   and  using  relationships  to  explore  and  move  forward.    I  believe  this   framework   has   the  power   to   change  culture,   and  my  

experience  with  Another  Way  conEirms  it.   My  work   also   brought  me   to   the  advocacy  world.     I  became  passionate  about   counteracting  the  dominant   messages   in   mental   health   that   ostracize   people.     To   this   end,   I   developed   materials   and  presentations  to  refute  biopsychiatric  paradigms,  and  I  also  helped  develop  the  Soteria-­‐Vermont  project,  which  is  a  house  for  people  having  an  early  experience  of  psychosis  that  relies  mostly  on  relationships  to  provide  support.   In  joining  Intentional  Peer  Support,  I  am  joining  a  big  conversation.    Because  IPS  is  more  a  mindset  than  a  skillset,  it  includes  the  energies  and  ideas  of  all  of  you.    That’s  a  lot  of  truths  to  hold!    I  look  forward  to   diving   in  and  helping   our  organization   reElect,   listen,   and   grow,   for   this  work   of   cultural   change   is  exactly  the  story  I  want  to  tell  about  my  life  moving  forward.u

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

IPS  in  the  NewsThe  Parachute  Project  in  New  York   City  is  

creating   a   network   of   respites   and  

outreach  teams  to   support  people  outside  

of   hospitals.     IPS   and   Needs   Adapted  

Treatment  Model  (the  predecessor  to  Open  

Dialogue   in  Finland)  were   selected  as   the  

models  for  training.    The  project  is  halfway  

through  it’s  three-­‐year  startup  grant  and  is  

demonstrating   how   alternative   supports  

can  be  implemented  at  a  large  scale.    

The  following  article  on  Page  6  talks  about  

using  IPS  in  the  Manhattan  respite:http://www.mhnews.org/back_issues/BHN-­‐Fall2013.pdf

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Talking  In  Ways  That  Can  Be  HeardBy  Shery  Mead  and  Sarah  KnutsonWe’ve   talked   a   fair   amount   about   conElict  

and  provided  some  examples   but  I  want   to   think  for   a  minute   about   “talking   in   ways   that   can   be  heard.”

Do   you   ever   Eind   yourself   doing   all   the  steps  of  see,   feel,   need  and  ending   up  with  a  big  disconnect?  

It   happens   to   all   of   us   at   some   point   or  another.    In  one  way,   it’s  just  part  of  being  human.    We   all   have   really   different   experiences   and  worldviews.    So  sometime,  somewhere,  with  some  people,   sooner   or   later,   we’re   going   to   end   up  disconnecting.    

These   kinds   of   situations   happen   quite  often   in  work   places.   Some   people   just   ignore   it;  some  people  hide;  some   agree  solely   to   keep   the  peace,  and  others   openly   (and  sometimes   loudly)  disagree.

When  this  happens,  a  lot  of  us  wonder:    What’s  going  wrong?    Why  isn’t  IPS  working?    I’m  trying  my  best  and  disconnection  is  still  happening.    Are  there  some  relationships  that  are  just  too  difEicult?    Are  some   dynamics   just   too   hard?   What   if   no   one   could   connect   here,   not   even   the   most   skilled   IPS  practitioner  using  all  the  IPS  tasks  and  principles?    

We’d  like   to   explore   these   questions  with   you..    We’d   like   to   see   if  there’s  a  way   to   use   IPS   to  connect  or  reconnect  in  some  of  the  most  challenging  situations      That’s  a  lot  to  bite  off  so  we’ll  do  this  in  a  series  of  articles  -­‐  rather  than  just  one.

Connecting  Across  Worldview  Differences

Today,  we’re  going  to  start  with  a  conversation  that   involves  really  big  worldview  differences.    It  also   involves   other   challenges,   including  differences   in  power  and  privilege  and  differences   in   the  core  values  and  life  vision  that  the  participants  in  the  conversation  are  moving  toward.    However,   for  today,  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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we’ll   keep  the   focus   on   the  worldview   differences   and  try  to  see  what  we  can  learn  from  that.     The  example  we  chose   here   involves   a  clinician  and   a   peer   worker   in   an   institutional/   professional  setting.    We  chose  this  example  because  it’s  one  we  hear  about  a  lot.    We  know  a  lot  peer  workers  who  are  trying  to  stay  true  to   IPS  values,  but  also  are  sometimes  trying  to   negotiate  very  different  worldviews  that   are   part  of  the  organization  or  professional   environment   they   are  working   in.     You   can   listen   to   the   example   or   read  a  transcript   of   it   at   the   links   we   provide   a   little   later   in  this  article.     The   example   involves   a   clinician   and   peer  worker  who   have   very   different   perspectives   on   their  work.    The  clinician  tells   the  peer  that  she  is  extremely  concerned  about   the  new   changes   she   sees   happening  in   the   hospital.     She   is   afraid   that   people   are   getting  their  hopes  up  and  being  set  up  for  a  fall.    

She  has  worked  at  the  hospital  for  many  years  and  done  her  best  to  follow  the  best  practices  of  her  profession.     She   has   worked   hard,   been   devoted   to   her   job   and   made  many   sacriEices   to   be   a   good  employee  at  the  institution.    She  believes  this  was  in  the  best  interests  of  her  “patients”  and  has  protected  them  from  a  harsh  reality  that  she  feels  they  were  not  prepared  to  meet.    

This  is  the  clinician’s  told  story:    it  is  her  reality  and  how  she  sees  the  world.     The  peer  is  trained  in  IPS  and  has  a  very  different  worldview.    She  is  faced  with  a  double  challenge.    She  needs  to  Eind  a  way  to  connect  with  the  clinician.      But,  also,  she  honestly  has  a  different  perspective  and  would  like  to  share  it.    However,  she  knows  this  would  make  the  clinician  uncomfortable.    

So,     here   is   the   question:     how   can   the   conversation   get   to   a   place   where   there   is   enough  connection  and  mutuality  to  allow  for  some  discomfort  and  some  real  sharing  of  different  perspectives?        We  think  the  peer  in  this  audio  (https://docs.google.com/Eile/d/0B5_1547QnkrfemZMLTc5clhMYjQ/edit?usp=sharing) does  a  pretty  good  job  of  getting  to   this  place.    How  does  she  do   this?    Listen  to   the  audio  or   read  the  transcript.    What  do  you  notice?      

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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Write  your  observations  down  if  that  helps  you  remember.    Here’s   the  transcript  if  you  prefer  to  read  rather  than  listen:    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HrMce-­‐c9Ra4n6LWgH4Hm8BTZxJn57jWrRPUafXr9lRY/edit

Now,  let’s  compare  notes  on  what  we  see  happening:We  used  this  example  to  demonstrate   talking  in  ways   that  can  be  heard  because  of  the   inherent  

worldview   difference   between   the   two   people   in   the   audio.   They   happen   to   be   a   clinician   and   peer  worker  and  they  have  very  different  perspectives  on  their  work.    

The  clinician’s  told  story  is  that  the  new  changes  she  sees  happening  in  the  hospital  are  troubling.    The   peer   workers   are   poorly   trained   and   are   giving   false   hopes   to   people   who   really   do   need   the  protection  of  a  hospital  setting.    

The  peer  does  not  agree  and  eventually  gets  to   a   place  where  she  is   able  to   share  this  with  the  clinician   in  a  connecting  way.    How   is   she   able   to  make  this  happen  ?      

Here’s  some  things  we  noticed.    

Connecting  Across  “Alternate  Realities”

Right   from   the   beginning   the   peer   worker  shows   curiosity   about   the   clinician’s   told   story  without   being   defensive.   She   validates   the  clinician’s  experience  by  getting  inside  it  and  says,  “It  sounds  like  you  really  care  about  people  here.”

Why   does   she   say   this?   Clearly,   the   peer  worker  doesn’t   see   the   facts   in   the  same  way.    To  the   contrary,   she   has   a   totally   different   told   story  about   the   hospital   changes.     She   believes   life   is  becoming  a  lot  better  for  people  receiving  services.    This   story   is   producing   very   different   feelings   for  the  peer  worker    (e.g.,  hope  and  optimism)  than  for  the  clinician  (resentment  and  fear).    

So   why   does   the   peer   worker   show   curiosity   and   validate   the   clinician’s   story   instead   of  withdrawing,  changing  the  subject,  or  presenting  her  own  point  of  view?

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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We   think   it’s   because   she   recognizes   that   she   and   the   clinician   are   experiencing   “alternate  realities”  and  she  knows  how  to  connect  across  them.  

What  does  that  mean?,  you  might  ask.    Clearly,  no  one  is  talking  about  “Elying  to  mars”  or  receiving  “messages”  from  the  President  or  the  Pope.    So,  why  are  we  talking  about  alternate  realities?    

Well,   its  a  lot  easier  to  see  in  more  extreme  cases  (we’ll  give  you  an  example  soon).    But  the  idea  is  this:     the   clinician   and   peer  worker   are   seeing   the   world   from   different   perspectives,   and   therefore  experiencing  different  feelings  and  responses.    When  that  happens  –  and  it  happens  all  the  time  –  people  experience  “alternate  realities”  –  rather  than  “consensual”  (agreed)  ones.    

Not  surprisingly,   in  these  situations,  connection  often  squeals   to   a  halt.    People  stop  listening  to  understand  and,   instead,   start   trying  to   get  the  other  person  to  hear  them.    Both  people  insist  that  their  view  of  reality  is  “the  right  one.”    They  both  honestly  disagree,  and  communication  breaks  down.

So   what   can   be   done?   How   do   we   build   connection   when   there   are   really   big   worldview  differences?    Fortunately,   in  IPS,  we  already  have  a  framework   for  talking  about  alternate  realities.    For  

example,   suppose  you  see  snakes  on  the  wall  and  I  don’t  –  what  do  I  do?               If   I   don’t   see   any   snakes   right   now,   I   can’t  pretend   that   I  do.     That   wouldn’t   be  honest,   so   it  wouldn’t  lead  to  real  connection  for  either  of  us.    However,   there   are   still   a   lot   of  other  ways   that   I  can  try  to  connect   if   I  want  to.    The   Eirst   step  is   to  put  myself  in  your  shoes  and  try  to   imagine  what  I  would  feel   if  I   saw   what  you   saw,  heard  what   you  heard,  experienced  what  you  experienced,  felt  what  you  felt,  etc.                        For  example,  if  I    saw  snakes  in  the  room  we  are  sitting  in:•  I  would  be  really  scared.    •  I’d  want  to  do  something  about  the  snakes.    •  I’d  want  to  do  something  to  feel  safer  –  like  get  rid  of  the  snakes  or  get  out  of  the  room.    

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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  Any  of  these  are  starting  points  for  connection.    For  example,  I  could  say:    “Wow,  that  must  be  terrifying...”

Depending  on  your  response  we  could  go  from  there.    So  let’s  go  back  to  the  clinician  and  the  peer  worker.    If  the  peer  worker  gets  caught  up  in  arguing  

which  version  of  the  facts  is  right,  then  they  will  probably  never  connect  (“There  are  snakes  on  the  wall”  –      “No  there  aren’t!”    yada,  yada).    However,   if  the  peer  worker  listens  to   the  clinician’s   told  story,   she  may  well   Eind  a  point  of  connection.     Indeed,   the  clinician’s  story   is   a  very  human  story  that  many  of  us   can  relate  to.    For  example:  

The  clinician  is  talking  about  the  human  experiences  of:• Being  dedicated  to  a  profession• Trying  to  do  a  good  job• Investing  a  lot  of  one’s  life  into  something  that,  now,  other  people  are  threatening  or  challenging• Feeling  misunderstood  and  not  valued  by  the  next  generation

  These  are  all  common  human  experiences,   and  the  peer  worker  could  start  with  any  one  of  them  to  make  a  connection.    This  might  be  a  good  time  to  go  back  to  the  audio  and  listen  again  to  how  the  worker  responds....  

  Did  you  notice  the  place  where  she  says,    “At  the  risk  of  prying,   it  sounds  like  you  really  need  and  want  some  recognition.”    Which  of  the  above  experiences  does  the  worker  appear  to  be  focusing  on?    To  us,   it   seems   like  3   and   4   above.     Both   3   and   4  have   to   do   with  putting   in   a   lot   of   effort   and   feeling  criticized,  misunderstood  or  not  valued.    Exploring  a  need  for  recognition  seems  to  Eit.         But,  how  did  the  worker  get  there.    How  does  she  know  where  to   focus?    And,  equally  important,  how  does  she  know  that  it’s  not  time  yet  to  share  her  own  opinions  or  worldview...?

Getting  Past  the  “Told  Story”  to  the  “Untold  Story”

Before  you  get  to  an  untold  story  you  have  to  go  on  the  told  ones.    Untold  stories  are  like  personal  treasures.     Told  stories   are   a   treasure   map  the  person  gives   you.     The  map  is   written   in   the  private  language  of   their  experience.    But,   by   listening   and  drawing  on  your  own  experience,   you  can  begin  to  learn  how  to  read  it.    

The  worker  in  the  audio  does  this  beautifully.    She  listens  to  the  clinician’s  “told  story”  about  the  changes   to   the  hospital  being   “wrong”  and  people  getting   hurt  or   left  behind.     She   tries   to   understand  what  the  clinician  is  feeling  and  why  the  emotion  makes  sense  to  her.  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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To  do  this,  she  puts  herself  in  the  clinicians  shoes  and  asks:    “If  I  saw  the  world  in  the  way  that  she’s  seeing   it   now,   how  would   I   feel?”     The   worker   realizes   that   when   she   feels   others   are   making   wrong  choices  and  hurting  people  or   leaving  them  behind,   she  has   strong   feelings  too.    With  that   information,  the  worker  can  make  a  leap.    She  can  begin  to   test  out  with  the  clinician  the  deeper  feeling  connections  around  both  of  their  experiences.

Here  she  says:  “  At  the  risk  of  prying,  it  sounds  like  you  really  need  and  want  some  recognition.”  Notice  also  how  the  clinician  responds.    She  doesn’t  directly  acknowledge  wanting  recognition,  but  

that  doesn’t  mean  the  worker  was  wrong.    Maybe  the  feelings  were   just  too   vulnerable.   The   important  thing  is  that  the  clinician  keeps  revealing  more  about  her  experience,  and,  as  the  worker  keeps  validating  it,  connection  continues  to  build.  

The  fact  that  the  clinician  keeps  talking,  revealing  more  and  that  the  connection  is  building  –  these  are  all  signs:    the  worker  is  understanding  the  map.    The  path  she  is  on  is  leading  to  relational  connection.  

Listening  to  Understand,  Appreciate  and  Validate

Notice  there  is  a  place  in  the  audio  where  the  clinician  calls  service  recipients  her  “patients”.    This  is   a  place  where  the  conversation  might  have  come  to   a   fast   close   (big   disconnect).     A   pretty   natural  response  for  a  peer  worker  might  be  to  “correct”  the  other  person:  “We’re  not  patients  -­‐  we’re  people!”    

Interestingly,   at   this   point     the  peer  worker  responds   by   adopting   the   clinician’s   language   and  also   referring   to   service   recipients   as   “patients.”    She   focuses   on   the   “meaning”   of   the   word   to   the  clinician   (a   service   role   I  have   dedicated  my  life   to).    She   shows   that   she   appreciates   this   meaning   by  validating  it  and  using  the  same  word  herself.    This  is  very  different  from  focusing  on  and  validating  the  meaning   of   the   word   for   herself   and   the   peer  movement  –  for   example,   by  pointing  out   the  word  and   its   association  with   peer   experiences   of  being  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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o p p r e s s e d ,   p u t   d o w n ,   p a t r o n i z e d ,   d e n i e d   c h o i c e s ,   e t c .    What  is  going  on  here?    This  clearly  isn’t  the  worker’s  chosen  language  –  the  words  may  even  be  

politically  offensive  to  her.    So,  why  do  you  think  the  worker  does  this?    Is  it  just  “sucking  up”  or  is  there  something  bigger  at   stake?  (There  is  no   ‘right’  or   ‘wrong’  here  –  it’s   just   interesting  to   think  about   the  choices  in  the  conversation  and  the  many  possible  outcomes).

The  bigger  thing  at  stake  for  the  worker  is  building  a  deeper  connection.  How  do  we  know  that  the  peer’s  response  led  to  a  deeper  connection  with  the  clinician?    Well,  here’s  what  the  clinician  says:

“I  just  don’t  know  what  to  do  anymore,  we’ve  been  here   for  30  and  40  years  doing  what  we   thought  

was  really  good  work  and  then  you  people  come  along  and  tell  us  we’re  not.   I  don’t  know  what  to  do  

or  where  to  turn  anymore.’    

What  about  the  clinician’s  response  helps  us  tell  whether  connection  is  building  or  not?The  Eirst   thing  to   notice   is   the  level   at  which  the  clinician  is  willing  to  be  vulnerable.  Her  energy  

has  begun  to  shift  from  attacking,  defensiveness  and  self-­‐protection  to  inviting  the  peer  in.    The  clinician  is  showing  softer,  more  vulnerable  emotions  –  things  like  helplessness,  confusion,  and  loss.  

What  we  seem  to  be  seeing  here  is  a  subtle  transition.    The  clinician  is  moving  away   from  more  high  intensity   self-­‐protective  feelings  (like  anger  and  frustration).    These  emotions   tend  to  keep  people  pretty  much  at  a  distance.    They  say,  “Don’t  mess  with  me.    I’m  a  force  to  be  reckoned  with  –  agree  with  me  or  else!”    

In  contrast,   the  softer,  more  vulnerable  emotions  that  the  clinician  is  moving  toward  here  tend  to  invite  people  in.    They  say  “Help  me  -­‐  I’m  lost  here.”    They  give  an  impression  of  wanting  relationship  and  of  seeking  support.    

Again,  we  have  a  sign  that  the  peer  worker  is  understanding  the  map.    The  path  is  leading  to  even  more  relational  connection.

Being  Really  Sure  of  Connection

The  peer  worker’s  honoring  of  the  clinician’s  worldview  seems  really  like  something  of  a  turning  point.     To   many   of   us,   this   would  also   seem   like   an   opening   for   some   “real   honesty.”    We   might   be  tempted   to   take  the  opportunity   to   share  our  perspective   –   and   perhaps   even   go   full   on  to  make  our  point.    How  many  of  us  have  found  ourselves  in  a  big  disconnect  after  doing  just  that?    

The  peer  worker  here,  however,  proceeded  much  more  cautiously.    So   cautiously  that  you  might  think  she  almost  hadn’t  noticed  the  change.    

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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But  she  did.    The  difference  was  that  she  interpreted  the  change  differently  than  many  of  us  might.    Instead  of  viewing  the  change  as  an  opening  for  full-­‐out  personal  sharing,   she  again  paused  to  see  things  from  the  clinician’s  frame  of  reference.    She  asked  herself,   “How  would  I   feel   if   I  opened  myself  up  and  became  more  vulnerable,  and  then  someone  unloaded  their  whole  worldview  on  me?”    

If  that  happened,   the  peer  worker  realized  she  would  probably  clamp  up  and  shut  down  in  a  split  second!    So,   instead,  she  just  kept  validating.    She  made  a  deliberate  choice  to  appreciate  and  honor  the  gift  that  the  clinician  was  giving  her  in  beginning  to  open  up,  invite  her  in,  and  show  more  vulnerability.    

Gently  Tiptoeing  into  the  Water  of  Mutuality

A  little  bit  later  in  the  audio,  you  may  notice  another  shift.    The  clinician  asks  the  peer  outright  for  her  opinion.    When  the  clinician  has  asked  questions   in  the  past,   they  had  more  of  a  “just  agree  with  me  and  tell  me  I’m  right”  feel  to   them.    But  this  time,  the  clinician  seems  to  be  sincerely  trying  to  make  sense  of  reality.    While  she  never  says  this  directly,   her  tone  seems  sincere  about  wanting  real  answers:    Why  are  these  changes  happening?    Why  do  you  people  seem  to  want  change  so  much?    

The  peer  notices   the  invitation  and  ultimately  responds   to   it.   But,   again,   she   does   so  with  great  care.     Her   Eirst   response   is   just   to   keep   validating.     She   sees   the   clinician   as   asking   really   big   and  important  questions  –  and  works  hard  to  validate  what   it  must   feel   like  to  be  the  clinician’s  shoes.    This  builds  even  more  connection  and  trust.    The  peer  can  tell  this  because  the  clinician  continues  to  open  up  and  invite  the  peer  into  her  process.  

After  a  while,    when  this  has  happened  enough  times,   the  two  of  them  begin  to  develop  trust.    The  peer   worker   senses   then  that   their   connection  can   handle   a   little  more   truth.     She   feels   comfortable  enough  to  begin  to  introducing  a  bit  of  her  worldview.    Again,   this  is  a  very  gentle,   tentative  process.    The  peer  worker  does  this  in  a  non-­‐threatening,  cautious  way.    She  allows  herself  plenty  of  time  and  space  to  check  out  whether  the  connection  is  still  holding  in  the  relationship.    

Here  are  some  steps  she  takes:1.    Asking  Permission

You  might  notice  that  the  peer  worker  starts  the  process  is  by  asking  for  permission.    She  asks  the  clinician  if  it  would  be  ok  to  share  a  bit  of  her  own  story  around  making  sense  of  the  questions  she  hears  the  clinician  asking  her.  Only  after  conEirming  that  the  clinician  seems  open  to  this  does  the  peer  begin  to  share  her  own  story.  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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2.    Using  a  Personal  Story

  Using   a   personal   story   can   be   a   way   to  build  a  deeper  connection.    It  can  also  introduce  a  bit  of  mutuality,  because   it   asks  the  other  person  to   enter   our   experience   and   try   to   understand  something  about  where  we  are   coming   from.    At  the   same   time,   it’s   important   to   pick   our   story  carefully.    It  needs  to  capture  the  point  we  want  to  make.    But,   it  also  needs   to  be  a  part  of  our   story  that’s  pretty  easy  to  be  heard.     The   peer   worker   in   the   audio   does   this.    Notice   that   she  doesn’t   share   a   story   about   “how  much  your  hospital  hurt  me.”    That  story  would  be  really   threatening   for   the   clinician   to   hear,   and  probably  make  for  a  big  disconnect.       Rather,   she   shares   a   different   type   of  story  –  one  that   includes  and  validates  both  their  perspectives.     On   the  one   hand,   the   peer   shares  her  own  journey  from  “fragile  patient”  to  a  person  who   could   take   risks   and   meet   life   challenges.    

This  gives  the  clinician  new  information  and  invites  her  into  the  peer  workers’  experience.    On  the  other  hand,   the  story  involves  the  peers  own  efforts  to  re-­‐evaluate  long-­‐held  beliefs,  make  

sense  of  challenging  questions  and  come  to  see  things  in  a  new  way.      This  is  exactly  what  the  clinician  is  trying  to  do  now.    Thus,  the  peer’s  story  also  join  the  clinician  as  a  human  being  and  invites  her  to  come  along  on  this  human  journey.   We  can   see   that   the  peer  worker   again   “understood   the  map.”    Although  the   clinician  certainly  doesn’t  do  a  180,  she  does  continue  to  share  and  explore  her  own  worldview  without  seeming  threatened  or  defensive.    

The  peer  worker  has  succeeded  in  sharing  her  own  very  different  worldview   in  a  way  that  could  be   heard.     Connection   was   maintained,   mutuality   was   introduced,   and   their   relationship   has   held  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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together.    In  fact,   the  relationship  has  even  grown  a  little  stronger.    This  bodes  well   for  possibly  having  some  more  “challenging  conversations”  in  the  future.    

3.    Long  View  vs.  Short  ViewA   really   hard  lesson  for  many  of  us   to   learn  related  to   “talking  to  be  heard”  is  to  speak  with  the  

“long  view”  in  mind.    It  can  be  really  tempting  to  go  for  clear  and  obvious  immediate  gains.    Uncertainty  and  ambiguity  are  uncomfortable  to   sit  with.      But   then  so   is   the  big  disconnect  we  might  end  up  with  when  we  “go  for  the  gold”  but  end  up  “dropping  the  ball”  instead.    

There  is  a  really  good  example  of  long  view  versus  short  view  in  the  audio.      There’s  a  place  where  the  clinician  asks  (rhetorically)  if  what  the  traditional  staff  has  been  doing  has  been  hurting  people.    The  peer  may  worker  well  have  experienced  some  hurt   in  traditional  medical   settings  –  perhaps   incredibly  painful   hurt.     So,   she   easily   could  have   responded:   “Well,   if   you   really   want   to   know   what   I’ve   been  experiencing,  in  a  way,  YES!”  

If  she  had  said  this  at  this  point,  do  you  think  the  clinician  could  have  heard  her?  Did  they  have  a  strong  enough  connection?

At   the   same   time,   for   some   people,   that  may   seem   like   a  cop  out.    Why   isn’t   the   peer  worker  “speaking  truth  to  power”  and  standing  up  for  her  own  experience?

It’s   important   to   note,   at   this   point,   that   there  is   probably  an  untold  story   going  on  behind  the  scenes   for   both   people.     It   may   go   something   like   this:     I’m   really   uncomfortable   with   you   and   this  conversation.    Our  viewpoints  and  life  experiences  are  extremely  different  and  that’s  very  scary  to  me.    But,  I  

also  know  our  future  depends  on  us  getting  along.    For  many   of  us   practicing   IPS,   this   “getting  along”  is  more  than  a  practical   (pragmatic)  survival  

strategy.     It’s   a   deeply  held  respect   that   everyone’s  worldview  –   everyone’s  –  peers,   clinicians,   janitors,  politicians,   teachers,   revolutionaries,   prisoners,   parents,   kids…everyone’s  –   is   unique   and  valid   for   them.    For  those  of  us  who  feel  this  way,  understanding  and  appreciating  these  human  worldview  differences  is  critical.    It’s  gives  us  a  toehold  –  a  place  where  we  can  seek  out  and  Eind  connection  even  when  other  vast  differences  exist.    This  connection,  in  turn,  can  be  nurtured  and  grown.    At  some  point,  we  notice  there’s  enough  energy  from  trust  and  goodwill   to   tolerate  a  bit  of  mutuality.    Then  we  can  begin  to  negotiate  a  world  that  can  work  for  all  of  us  –  which,  for  many  of  us,  is  the  only  world  that’s  really  worth  creating.  

With  this  in  mind,  the  peer  decides  to  take  the  “long  view.”    She  gives  the  relationship  the  space  it  needs  to  evolve  in  connection  and  trust  over  time  rather  than  having  to  deEine  “the  truth”  right  away.  

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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In  the  process,  we  Eind  the  mutual  respect  and  tone  of  the  conversation  has  changed  as  well.    In  the  beginning,  the  clinician  seemed  to  be  coming  to   the  peer  only  as  a  matter  of  politeness  before  taking  her  concerns   to   the  “higher  ups.”    Now,   there   is   a  real  quality  of  mutual  respect  in  the  conversation  –  even  though  their  worldviews  still  remain,  well,  “worlds”  apart.    

What  might  happen  in  their  next  conversation?  Do   they  have  a  strong  enough  connection  for  the  peer  worker  to  be  a  bit  more  frank?  

Saying   things   in  ways   that   can   be  heard   involves   getting   past   superEicial   connection   into   really  building  some  trust  in  the  relationship.    But,   for  most  of  us,  it  works  best  if  we  don’t  push  for  change  too  quickly.     Instead,  we  might  ask   ourselves:    Have   I  ever  changed  my  deeply  held   beliefs?    How  long  did  it  take?    What  enabled  me  to  do  that?”

And  So...      What  are  the  Learnings  Here?

When  there   is   a   tense  moment  with  very  different  perspectives,   listen  deeply.     Try   to   hold  the  other  person’s  perspective  until  they  feel  heard.    Rather  than  taking  advantage  of  vulnerability,   honor  it  with  validation.    When  the  time  comes  to  share  your  perspective,  test  the  waters.    Go  slowly  and  pay  close  attention  to  what  happens  to  the  trust  and  connection  between  you.    Be  patient  –  it  will  always  take  more  time  than  you’ve  got.    It’s  worth  every  minute.u

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

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Upcoming IPS 5-Day Core Training

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]

Burlington,  Vermont

March  10th  –  14st,  2014

Venue  to  be  decided

Cost:    $850

For  further  inquiries:Steven  Morgan802-­‐498-­‐4190

[email protected]

“For   me   the   IPS   Training   was   like  someone  dropping  a  Eistful  of  pennies.    It  truly   is   a   life-­‐changing   experience...   like  being  taught  how  to  play  one  of  the  most  beautiful  instruments  known  to  man…  a  mutually  beneEicial  conversation.”

-­‐    Dan  Cole,  Coordinator,  PRA  Harvey  Bay  Queensland,  Australia

About the IPS Core TrainingOur Core Training is a 5-day introduction to the IPS framework and is designed to have you practicing right away. In a highly interactive environment, participants learn the tasks and principles of IPS, examine assumptions about who they are, and explore ways to create mutual relationships in which power is negotiated, co-learning is possible, and support goes beyond traditional notions of "service." IPS is all about opening up new ways of seeing, thinking, and doing, and here we examine how to make this possible.

Our Core Training is for anyone interested in peer support and has been widely used as a foundation training for peers working in both traditional and alternative mental health settings.

Specific topics covered include:

• The 4 Tasks (Connection, Worldview, Mutuality, and Moving Towards)• The 3 Principles (Learning vs Helping, Relationship vs the Individual, Possibility vs Fear)• Listening differently and with intention• Understanding trauma worldview and trauma re-enactment• Rethinking old roles and ways of relating• Working towards shared responsibility• Examining power and privilege• Negotiating boundaries and limits• Creating a vision• Navigating challenging scenarios• Using co-reflection to maintain values

“As   peer   support   in   mental   health  proliferates,   we  must  be  mindful   of  our  intention:    social  change.    It  is  not  about  developing   more   effective   services   but  rather   about   creating   dialogues   that  h a v e   i n E l u e n c e   o n   a l l   o f   o u r  understandings,   conversations,   and  relationships.”

-­‐    Shery  Mead,  Founder  of  IPS

What is Intentional Peer Support (IPS)?IPS is a way of thinking about and creating powerful and transformative peer support relationships. It is a process where both people use the relationship to look at things from new angles, develop greater awareness of personal and relational patterns, and to support and challenge each other as we try new things.

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Intentional Peer Support Core TrainingRegistration Form

Please   Gill   out   the   following   registration   form   for   each   participant   and   email   to  [email protected]

Name:

Organization:

Address:

Phone:                                                                                                                                  

Email:

Method  of  Payment  (PayPal  or  Check):    

Please  plan  to   arrive   in  Burlington  on  Sunday,  March  9th  in  order   to   begin  at  9:00am  on  Monday,  March  10th.    Training  is  from  9:00–4:30  from  Monday–Thursday,  and  9:00–3:00  on  Friday.

Registration  FeeRegistration  is  $850  and  covers  training,  manuals,  and  lunch  on  each  training  day.    Hotel  accommodations  and  travel  arrangements  are  the  responsibility  of  applicants.

To  pay  online  with  PayPal:Make  a  payment  via  PayPal  to  [email protected]  

To  pay  with  a  check:Make  check  payable  to:    Shery  Mead  ConsultingMail  application  and  payment  to:    Chris  Hansen  /  187  Jerusalem  Rd  /  Bristol,  VT  05443

Intentional  Peer  Supportwww.intentionalpeersupport.org                [email protected]