The Basics of Effective Interpersonal Communication

What is communication? What do you think communication

is? How would you define it?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Four facets of communication

Three are four facets in all types of communication: Sender Receiver Information Behavior

Four facets of communication

In any communication: The Sender is the person trying to

communicate a message The Receiver is the person at whom

the message is directed A message is sent to convey

information Information is meant to change

behavior

Shared symbols Sometimes when we communicate we

assume we are using shared symbols when we might not be

Think about the term “asap”, “as soon as possible”. What does it really mean?

Think about how the meaning might change in the situations on the next slide…

Shared symbols How might your meaning of “asap”

change in these situations?… Someone from another department calls. He

needs some detailed information asap; but you are already rather busy.

A coworker comes to you for help with an assignment. She needs you asap; but you have another job to finish before lunch.

Your immediate supervisor, whom you like to please, asks you to type a memo for her asap; but you already have a stack of other jobs to finish.

Shared symbols Someone from another department calls.

He needs some detailed information asap; but you are already rather busy.

In this situation, you might interpret “asap” as “when I have finished all of my own work and have a chance to get to it. It might be tomorrow or the next day.”

Shared symbols A coworker comes to you for help

with an assignment. She needs you asap; but you have another job to finish before lunch.

In this situation, you might interpret “asap” as “after I have finished my own work, I will help out after lunch”.

Shared symbols Your immediate supervisor, whom

you like to please, asks you to type a memo for her asap; but you already have a stack of other jobs to finish.

In this situation, you might interpret “asap” as “I’ll do this now and finish my other work afterwards”.

Shared symbols In the previous examples, we’ve seen the

meaning of “asap” change from “in a few days” to “immediately”.

Many other words and phrases are also vague and have different meanings for different people.

Shared symbols are not always completely shared. The message intended is not always the message received.

Why do we communicate? What do you think?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Why we communicate

• We communicate to:• Share our ideas and opinions• Provide feedback to others• Get information from others• Gain power and influence• Develop social relationships• Maintain self-expression and our culture• and other ideas you may have thought

of

How do we communicate? Think of the many ways in which

you communicate…

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

How we communicate We communicate and build

interpersonal relationships through: Speech Writing Listening Non-verbal language Music, art, and crafts

Choosing your medium Depending upon the situation, one method

of communication may be better than another. In person: one-to-one In person: meetings, small groups In person: presentations, large groups Letter Memo Note Email Voice mail

Choosing your medium To determine the best medium for

your message determine: What you as the sender need to achieve What the receiver needs to know. What

the receiver wants to know How detailed, important, and or personal

the information in the message is Which behavior you want to influence

and how

Choosing your medium How would you communicate…

an organizational change in your unit the introduction of a new employee a change in someone’s job duties a reprimand notice of a meeting

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Choosing your medium The best way to communicate…

an organizational change in your unit by memo and small group meetings

the introduction of a new employee by group and one-on-one meetings

a change in someone’s job duties by memo and one-on-one meeting

a reprimand in a one-on-one private meeting

notice of a meeting by memo and email

Barriers to communication What are barriers to

communication that exist in any work setting?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Barriers to communication Some common barriers to interpersonal

communication include: Unclear process: The receiver and sender may not share

the same language, slang, jargon, vocabulary, symbols Chain of command: There may be too many layers that

a message passes through between sender and receiver Large size of an organization, geographic

distance: Large numbers of receivers require good message sending methods

Personal limitations: Physical and mental disabilities, and differences in intelligence and education may interfere with mutual understanding

Barriers to communication Additional common barriers to

interpersonal communication include: Human nature: Peoples’ egos, prejudices, and

traditions can get in the way

Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions: If people feel on opposite sides of an issue they may not share

Power: The idea that knowledge is power can lead to information hoarding

and other ideas you may have thought of

Sharing your ideas Why and when is it necessary to

share your ideas?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Share your ideas to… State an opinion or position Give instructions or directions Announce a change Make presentations Participate in meetings Give information in emergencies Communicate the organizational mission,

vision, and values and other ideas you may have thought of

Obstacles to sharing ideas What can make sharing ideas

difficult?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Obstacles to sharing ideas…

Your own shyness Fear of rejection Peer pressure Unorganized thinking Others possibly becoming defensive Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing, speech)

Having to deal with aggressive people and others you may have thought of

SHARE your ideas – a model

State the main point of your message Highlight other important points Assure the receiver’s understanding React to how the receiver responds Emphasize/summarize your main

ideas

SHARE – an exampleState the main point of your message

“I’d like to talk to you about the new employee welcome program”.

Highlight other important points“We need to discuss the new schedule, locations, and

presenters”.Assure the receiver’s understanding

“Do you need me to further clarify how we are making invitations”?

React to how the receiver responds“I understand your concern about parking”.

Emphasize/summarize your main ideas“To wrap-up, I’ll develop the schedule and make the room

reservations, if you can line up the guest speakers”.

Getting good information Why is it necessary to get good

information from others?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Get good information to… Find out facts and details Get directions or instructions Try to understand another’s point of view Help someone solve a problem Resolve a team conflict Solve work problems and other ideas you may have thought of

Obstacles to getting good information

What can make getting good information difficult?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Obstacles to getting good information

Lack of trust Assuming you already know it all Jumping to conclusions Not valuing diverse opinions Weak reading skills Weak listening skills Weak questioning skills and other ideas you may have thought of

The power of listening

The philosopher Epictetus stressed the power of listening in this quote:

“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

Listen actively Prepare to listen by focusing on the

speaker Control and eliminate distractions so that

you can focus on the message. Don’t do anything else (writing, reading, email) but listen

Establish appropriate eye contact to show interest

See listening as an opportunity to get information, share another’s views, and broaden your own knowledge

Listen actively Create a need to listen by thinking about what

you can learn from the speaker Set aside the time to listen so that you won’t

feel rushed or become distracted by other responsibilities

Don’t prejudge the message based on who is delivering it. Focus instead on the content of the message.

Monitor the way you listen by asking yourself questions such as “Did I really pay attention or was I thinking about what I was going to say next”? “Was there information I missed because I allowed myself to become distracted”?

That’s a good question! Close end questions limit the answer to yes or

no Open end questions allow the responder total

freedom in answering Direct questions ask for specific information;

limit answers to brief fact statements Probing questions follow up other questions to

solicit additional information Hypothetical questions present a theoretical

situation to which receiver responds

See examples of each on the next slide…

Good question - examplesClose end question

“Did you attend the staff meeting this morning”?

Open end question “What was discussed at the staff meeting this

morning”?

Direct question“Which topics were listed on the meeting agenda”?

Probing question“Can you tell me more about the first agenda topic”?.

Hypothetical question“What would you have done, if you had not had the

chance to present your idea at the meeting”?

FOCUS on information – a model

Focus the discussion on the specific information you need

Open-end question to expand the discussion

Close-end question to get specifics Use active listening skills to

understand what you are hearing Summarize and close the discussion

FOCUS on information – an example Focus the discussion on the specific information you need

“I need to ask you about the computer meeting you attended yesterday”.

Open-end question to expand the discussion“What kinds of decisions were made regarding expansion of

our departmental system”?Close-end question to get specifics

“Did the committee decide to buy Dell computers”?Use active listening skills to understand what you are

hearing“What I think I heard you say was that the decision was

made”?Summarize and close the discussion

“So to wrap up, the system will expand and we will be using Dells. Thanks for keeping me up to date”.

Getting / giving feedback Why is it necessary to give

constructive feedback to others?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Give feedback when… Someone asks for your opinion Work errors occur frequently A coworker’s habits disturb you A coworker’s behavior has negative

consequences There are unresolved problems and other ideas you may have thought of

Constructive feedback focuses on facts not people, solving problems instead of placing blame, and strengthening relationships instead of “being right”

Obstacles to giving constructive feedback

What makes it hard to give constructive feedback?

Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

Obstacles to giving constructive feedback

Separating the person from the problem Others becoming defensive or angry Fear of negative consequences (especially if the

other person is a supervisor) Dealing with potential conflict (especially if the

other person is aggressive) Avoiding hurt feelings Preserving relationships Not having all the facts and jumping to conclusions Choosing the right time so that the other person is

most receptive and other ideas you may have thought of

STATE feedback – a model State the constructive purpose of

your feedback Tell specifically what you have

observed Address and describe your reactions Tender specific suggestions for

improvement Express your support and respect for

the person

STATE feedback – an exampleState the constructive purpose of your feedback

“I’d like to give you some feedback about your training style so that your evaluations will be more positive and you will enjoy it more”.

Tell specifically what you have observed“I notice that you rely heavily on your notes”.

Address and describe your reactions“I feel as though you are unsure of yourself when you read”.

Tender specific suggestions for improvement“I can help you develop a PowerPoint presentation so that you

can use the screens as a cue instead of being tied to your notes”.

Express your support for the person“You know a lot about the subject. With practice you can become

a good trainer”.

Body language Nonverbal communication, known as

“body language” sends strong positive and negative signals. This is how much it influences any message:

Words 8%Tone of voice 34%Non-verbal cues 58%Message 100%

Body language includes… Face Figure Focus Territory Tone Time

Each of these is described in the following slides…

Body language - face Face includes:

Your expressions Your smile or lack thereof Tilt of the head; e.g., if your head is

tilted to one side, it usually indicates you are interested in what someone is saying

What message are you sending if someone is presenting a new idea and you are frowning?

Body language - figure Figure includes:

Your posture Your demeanor and gestures Your clothes and accessories such as

jewelry

What message are you sending if you are dressed casually at an important meeting?

Body language - focus Focus is your eye contact with others The perception of eye contact differs by

culture. For most Americans… Staring makes other people uncomfortable Lack of eye contact can make you appear weak

or not trustworthy Glasses may interfere or enhance eye contact

What message are you sending if you are looking at other things and people in a room when someone is speaking to you?

Body language - territory Territory focuses on how you use

space. It is also called proxemics. The perception of territory differs by

culture. Most Americans are comfortable with an individual space that is about an arm’s length in diameter

What message are you sending if you keep moving closer to a person who is backing away from you?

Body language - tone Tone is a factor of your voice

Pitch is the highness or lowness of voice

Volume is how loud your voice is Emphasis is your inflection

What message are you sending if during a disagreement you start speaking very loudly?

Body language - time Time focuses on how you use

time. It is also called chronemics. Pace is how quickly you speak Response is how quickly you move Punctuality is your timeliness

What message are you sending if you are consistently late for meetings?

Ideas to walk away with… People are always communicating The meaning intended by the sender

is never exactly the message gotten by the receiver

We can help to overcome barriers to communication by being aware of them

Verbal and non-verbal communication is important in sending our messages

Test yourself…1. Communication is defined as the interchange of

thoughts or opinions through shared symbols.True___ False___

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender, receiver, information, and behavior.

True___ False___

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an organization or geographic distance; personal limitations; human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; and power are examples of barriers to communication.

True___ False___

Test yourself4. Describe the steps of the SHARE model for giving good

information – share, highlight, assure, react, emphasize:

5. Describe the steps of the FOCUS model for getting good information – focus, open end, close end, use, summarize:

6. Describe the steps of the STATE model for giving constructive feedback – state, tell, address, tender, express:

7. Describe the the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body language):

Test yourself… - answers1. Communication is defined as the interchange of

thoughts or opinions through shared symbols. True

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender, receiver, information, and behavior.

True

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an organization or geographic distance; personal limitations; human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; power are examples of barriers to communication.

True

Test yourself… - answers4. The steps of the SHARE model for giving good information are:

State the main point of your message Highlight other important points Assure the receiver’s understanding React to how the receiver responds Emphasize/summarize your main ideas

5. The steps of the FOCUS model for getting good information are:

Focus the discussion on the specific information you need Open-end question to expand the discussion Close-end question to get specifics Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing Summarize and close the discussion

Test yourself… - answers6. The steps of the STATE model for constructive feedback are:

State the constructive purpose of your feedback Tell specifically what you have observed Address and describe your reactions Tender specific suggestions for improvement Express your support for the person

7. The the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body language):

Face – expressions, smile, tilt of head Figure – posture, demeanor, gestures, dress Focus – eye contact Territory – use of space Tone – voice pitch, volume, emphasis Time – the use time