1. Tendencies, Options and Tips for Negotiating Solutions to Conf lict Compiled and Narrated by:Veronica Niki Hannevig, MS (CRC Retired)Professional Experience with Groups, Conf lict Resolution, and Mediation.

2. Avoidance ViolenceNegotiation(Self Defense)TransitionalHybridsin the Assembly LitigationMediation Arbitration 3. Proverbs 4:14-15Do not enter the path of the wrong, And do not walk in the way of evil-doers.Avoid it, do not pass by it; Turn away from it and pass on.Websters 1828 Dictionary DefinitionAvoidance - AVOIDANCE, n. 1. The act of avoiding, or shunning. 2. The act of vacating, or the state of being vacant. It is appropriately usedfor the state of a benefice becoming void, by the death, deprivation, orresignation of the incumbent. 3. The act of annulling. 4. The course by which any thing is carried off. 4. ReconciliationRECONCILIATION, n. [L. reconciliatio.]1. The act of reconciling parties at variance; renewal of friendship after disagreement or enmity.Reconciliation and friendship with God, really form the basis of all rational and true enjoyment.2. In Scripture, the means by which sinners are reconciled and brought into a state of favor with God, after natural estrangement or enmity; the atonement; expiation.Seventy weeks are determined upon thy people and upon thy holy city, to finish thetransgression and to make an end of sin, and to make reconciliation for iniquity. Dan 9. Heb 2.3. Agreement of things seemingly opposite, different or inconsistent. 5. Matthew 18:16But if he does not hear, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth oftwo or three witnesses every word might be established.Websters 1828 Dictionary DefinitionMediation - MEDIATION, n. [L. medius, middle.] 1. Interposition; intervention; agency between parties at variance, with a viewto reconcile them. The contentions of individuals and families are oftenterminated by the mediation of friends. The controversies of nations aresometimes adjusted by mediation. The reconciliation of sinners to God bythe mediation of Christ, is a glorious display of divine benevolence. 2. Agency interposed; intervenient power. The soul, during its residence in the body, does all things by themediation of the passions. 3. Intercession; entreaty for another. 6. Matthew 18:17 - And if he refuses to hear them, say it to the assembly.And if he refuses even to hear the assembly, let him be to you like a gentileand a tax collector. Acts 19:35-39 - And the city clerk, . . . said, Men of Ephesos, what man isthere who does not know that the city of the Ephesians is the guardian of thetemple of the great female mighty one Artemis, and of that which fell downfrom Zeus? Therefore, if these matters are undeniable, you need to becalm, and do not act rashly. For you have brought these men here who areneither temple-robbers nor speaking evil of your female mighty one. Iftruly then Demetrios and his fellow craftsmen have a case againstanyone, the courts are open and there are proconsuls. Let them accuse oneanother. And if you have any further complaint, it shall be settled in theregular assembly. 7. Amendment V - No person shall be held toanswer for a capital, or otherwise infamouscrime, unless on a presentment orindictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or navalforces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger;nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardyof life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witnessagainst himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due processof law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without justcompensation.Amendment VI - In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.Amendment VII - In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law. 8. Conflict styles are patterned responsestoconfrontationand, therefore, strongly influence thetypes of strategies selected whendealing with conflict at home, or in agroup. Conflict styles cluster into five general types:Avoiding Competing AccommodatingCompromising Collaborating 9. May be Appropriate When:May be Inappropriate When:The issue is trivial.You need time to think.The relationship isinsignificant.Time is short and a decision isnot necessary.You have little power but wish toblock the other person.You need to prevent beingharmed. 10. May be Appropriate if: May be Inappropriate if: 11. May be Appropriate When: May be Inappropriate When: You are likely to harborresentment. You habitually accommodateto gain acceptance. (Habitual accommodating may - in some people - lead to depression and lack of self- respect.) Used with others who wish tocollaborate rather thanenforce their decisions. 12. May be Appropriate When: May be Inappropriate When: 13. May be Appropriate When: May be Inappropriate When: Time is short. The issues are unimportant. You, or the people withwhom yourecollaborating, are mentallyor emotionallyoverburdened or distraught. The goals of the other personare (objectively) known tobe wrong. 14. Whether we negotiate within a group or within ourselves, negotiation is a consensual process of adjusting differences.Following are Two Perspectives on Negotiation and TwoProcesses by which Conf lict is typically Negotiated. Adversarial and Collaborative 15. 1 - Start with agreeing to work on the problem together - Choose an appropriate time and place - Prepare emotionally and gather relevant informationProcess for - Build rapport and set ground rulesNegotiation2 Listen to the other persons6- Agree on what the problems are that you must negotiate- Needs and wants - Identify areas of common ground- Reasons for those needs and wants - Ask questions for clarification- Feelings about their situation and the - State measurable goals and objectivesneeds and wants3 - Summarize the other persons- Needs and wants- Reasons given for those needs and wants 7 - Brainstorm options for solutions one issue at a time. Wait- Feelings to evaluate options until a good list has been generated.8 - Make proposals for solutions. Add and subtract to proposals. Go back and forth, shaping solutions.4 - State clearly to the other person your - Wants and needs - Reasons for those wants and needs - Feelings about the situation and the wants and needs9- If appropriate, write down the agreements.5 - Summarize the other persons - Needs and wants - Reasons given for those needs and wants10 - Recognize that, together, you have - Feelingssucceeded in working out your problem. 16. Separate the people from the problems.Be soft on people and hard on problems.Focus on interests, not positions.When positions look incompatible, look at underlyinginterests and needs.Generate options for mutual gain.Work for a win/win approach to resolution.Assure a fair process.Process is just as important as the outcome.Practice direct communication.Talk with others, not at them, to them, or about them.Test reality when there is an impasse.What is the best alternative to a negotiated agreement?If you walk away from negotiations, what do you walk into? 17. Learn more about the various aspects of healthy systems at ShermanInstitute. www.ShermanInstitute.com and http://ShermanInstitute.org. Thank you for attending.n.hannevig@shermaninstitute.org