Conflict and Conflict Resolution

Presented by

Mr P J A John

Barrouallie Central Leeward Secondary School

1. Most people fight or argue when they: 2. Most people fight or argue over: 3. One good thing people get from arguing or

fighting is: 4. One bad thing about arguing and fighting

is: 5. People generally respond to conflicts by

Complete these statements truthfully…

6. I fight or argue when: 7. I get upset or angry when other students:8. I make others angry when I: 9. When I'm talking to someone else who is

really angry or upset, the most important thing to do is:

Complete these statements truthfully…

10. When I'm really angry or upset with someone, the most important thing for me to do is:

11. When I'm upset at, mad at, or bothered by another student I can (list three):

12. When I have a disagreement or conflict with someone, we can agree to:

This lesson explores how conflicts can be resolved by looking at things fairly, and how a mediator can help to make this happen.

“A struggle to resist or overcome; contest of opposing forces or powers; strife; battle. A state or condition of opposition; antagonism; discord. A painful tension set up by a clash between opposed and contradictory impulses."

What is conflict?

There is a perceived breach of faith and trust between individual

There is unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an emotional level

There is miscommunication leading to unclear expectations

Causes of conflict

There are personality clashes There are differences in acquired values There is underlying stress and tension There are ego problems There are combinations of the above

Causes of conflict

A certain degree of conflict is a healthy sign Too much conflict; communication problems No conflict; disinterest amongst the

members of the group and lack of input Arises from unclear aims and objectives Don’t make disagreements personal Conflict can help improve the level of

quality

Is conflict good?

RESOLVING CONFLICT

Conflict Resolution

The 7 Steps to Conflict Resolution

To Resolve a Conflict

What tosay or do?

Why?

1. Calm yourself

Take a deep breath, say "relax"

Clears thinking, models control

2. Restore order 

Take a "Time Out"

Stops the fight, contains the damage

3. Hear their stories 

"Help me understand your concern."

Gathers information, defuses tension

To Resolve a Conflict

What tosay or do?

Why?

4. Listen carefully

Eye contact, don't interrupt

Honors the need to be heard

5. Generate solutions 

"How could we resolve this?"

Moves from accusations to solutions

6. Agree on a solution

"Would this work for you?"

Moves to resolution, brings closure

To Resolve a Conflict

What tosay or do?

Why?

7. Test for satisfaction 

"Are you sure this will work for you?"

Assures clear communication

When we get into arguments with people, the problem won’t be sorted until both parties feel that they have been treated fairly.

Grrrrr….. Grrrrr…..

In order to make things fair, all parties have to:

Understand Avoid making things worse Work together Find a solution

First we have to try to understand – by putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

Each person must be allowed to say how they feel – without being interrupted.

In order for it to work:

Each person must listen carefully to what the other has to say.

Everyone must make sure they don’t make the situation worse … so

NO:put downsrevealing of secretsscreaming or shoutingfighting, kicking, pushing!

Each person must be determined to work together with the others.

This means:Taking turnsSpeaking quietly, but firmlyActive listeningTalking about how you feel, without

blaming anyone.

Now find a solution by brainstorming together.

Think of as many ideas as possible!

All parties must take responsibility for their part of the agreement.

And stick to what has been decided.

…. And be prepared to talk again if things aren’t improving.

How’s about another chat?

O.K. That’s cool!

Once there were two women who both wanted a lemon.

However, as luck would have, it there was only one left in the shop.

Without discussion they both agreed to take half.

One woman took her half lemon home and squeezed it to make a drink.

The juice barely covered the bottom of the

glass!

The other grated the rind to make an lemon flavoured cake (although it wasn’t as flavoursome as she had hoped).

The juice went everywhere!

Had they taken the time to talk and negotiate with each other, they both could have had what they wanted- the juice or the rind of a whole lemon!

Be a model of calm and control Don't give in to emotional outbursts Don't assume people are being difficult

intentionally Find a quiet place in to resolve

conflicts....privately

Key points to remember

Set some ground rules for the discussion:

No raising of voices This is not a debate Speak only for yourself..."I" phrases Confront the issues, not the people Maintain or enhance self-esteem

Key points to remember

Glossary Communicate – to talk things out Negotiate - to discuss something Mediate – to act as a go between Arbitrate – to act to solve the problem Litigate – to go to court Legislate – to pass laws or set up rules Resolve – to make your mind up