Improving Descriptive Improving Descriptive WritingWriting

When you are writing, you want to make it descriptive and paint an original picture.

Purpose of Descriptive WritingPurpose of Descriptive WritingDescribe something in an original and

unique way so that it appeals to the five senses

Touch it Taste it

Hear it See it

Smell it

Keys of Being DescriptiveKeys of Being Descriptive

Be originalBe creativeStretch your imaginationFor example, instead of this:

• The hot, yellow sun went behind the mountain and covered the valley in red.

The sun cut itself on a sharp peak and bled into the valley.—John Steinbeck

Try this:

Clichés: The Descriptive KillerClichés: The Descriptive Killer1 : a trite phrase or expression; Also : the idea

expressed by it2 : something (as a menu item) that has become overly

familiar or commonplaceIt is a saying, expression, idea, or element of an artistic

work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, making it a stereotype.

Just say no to clichés Just say no to clichés

Clichés such as, “strong as an ox” should be avoided by the writer who wants to be effective.

A cliché may say what the writer wants to say, but it does not say it in a striking, fresh way.

It is better to say, “strong as a champion iron pumper” or “strong as a giant gorilla”.

These expressions show fresher relationships and some creative thought.

Finding Clichés Through Finding Clichés Through ExperienceExperience

If you have seen it

Or heard it

It’s probably a cliché

Here are some more examplesHere are some more examples

Get all your ducks in a row.Paula is thin as a rail.Don’t judge a book by its cover.You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.Denise is as pretty as a picture.The sun made him as red as a beet.Better safe than sorry.That’ll happen when pigs fly.

Hollywood ClichésHollywood Clichés If a flying vehicle runs out of fuel and crashes, it still

explodes as if the tank were full.People never get out of the house when there is

obvious danger there (ghosts, murderers). People who hear something weird outside

will go OUT to look, even if they know there's a homicidal maniac on the loose.

Medieval peasants always have filthy faces, tangled hair, ragged clothing - and perfect, gleaming white teeth. (Braveheart, any Robin Hood movie, etc.).

Finding Clichés On-lineFinding Clichés On-lineLet’s find some more clichés Choose a keyword to look upGo to a cliché website and look up the

keywordCliché finder is one of the best places to

look: http://www.westegg.Com/cliche/

Fixing ClichésFixing Clichés

Identify the clichésReplace them with more descriptive

writing◦Think of a new comparison◦Look up words in a thesaurus◦www.m-w.com

A Little PracticeA Little Practice

Let’s look at a poem Identify ALL the clichésTry to think of ways to say the same

thing without using a cliché We’ll do the first stanza together

Which of the following do think are Which of the following do think are clichés?clichés?

She’s as pure as the driven snow,Her face is as white as a sheet,Her hands are as smooth as silk,Her nails as red as a beet.

She’s as pure as the driven snow,Her face is as white as a sheet,Her hands are as smooth as silk,Her nails as red as a beet.

She’s as pure as the driven snow,Her face is as white as a sheet,Her hands are as smooth as silk,Her nails as red as a beet.

Her hair is like the golden sun,Her eyes blue like the sky,She’s as beautiful as an angel,and as hot as a firecracker on the

4th of July.

Her temper is as quick as lightning,

Her hatred cold as ice,Her laughter is loud and clear, But

her crying is as quiet as mice.

Her beauty may be skin deep,But her mind is as sharp as a knife.I’m just small potatoes,And she seems larger than life

They say she’s one in a million,But I don’t believe what they say.If she’s all that and a bag of chips,Why say it with a cliché?

Same Old New Girl

On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite five of the following clichés so they five of the following clichés so they send the same message to the reader send the same message to the reader but in an original waybut in an original way

1.She looked like death warmed over.2.The carpenter was busy as a beaver.3.The boy was smart as a whip.4.He yelled like a stuck pig.5.She had a mind like a steel trap.6.He was as ugly as sin.7.The class was quiet as mice.8.He was as tough as nails.9.She was light as a feather.10.His mind was dull as dishwater.

Here are some examples:Here are some examples:

7. The class was as quiet as a lion stalking its prey.7. The class was as quiet as a master serial killer.4. His scream was as sharp as a knife.3. He had a mind like a jail cell at Alcatraz.10. His mind was as dull as an old textbook.4. He yelled like a microphone screeching. 10. His mind was as dull as a murky swamp.6. His repugnant face was like a black hole, sucking all the beauty out of the room.6. He was as ugly as a six week old carcass.3. The boy was bright like a lamp in a dark room.7. The class was as quiet as a corpse.