ic chapter 9 conflict managagement
TRANSCRIPT
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
CHAPTER NINE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS
WHERE ARE WE NOW IN THE COURSE?
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
CH 2 INTRODUCTION
CH 3 PERCEPTIONCH 4 VERBAL
CH 5 NONVERBALCH 6 LISTENING
CH 7 CONVERSATIONCH 8 ENCOURAGEMENT
NOW: CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
SKILLS
EMERGING THEMES IN IC: 1. THE UNIVERSAL NEED FOR IC 2. THE COMMUNICATION MODEL-HOW COMMUNICATION WORKS 3. THE ROLE OF THE MIND IN IC 4. THE EXISTENCE OF COMMUNICATION BARRIERS 5. THE ROLE OF INTIMACY
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
SKILLS
"MANKIND MUST EVOLVE FOR ALL HUMAN CONFLICT A
METHOD WHICH REJECTS REVENGE, AGGRESSION, AND
RETALIATION. THE FOUNDATION OF SUCH A
METHOD IS LOVE."-MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
WHY IS THIS CHAPTER IN THE TEXT?
WHAT IS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEEN INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND CONFLICT?
• CONFLICT EXISTS IN ALL HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS• THE ROLE OF CONFLICT IN INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION IS OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD• THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER IS OFTEN AT THE HEART
OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS• INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INFLUENCES THIS
STRUGGLE FOR POWER
PREVIEW:
CONFLICT DEFINED
TYPES OF CONFLICT 4 RESPONSES TO CONFLICT
8 CONFLICT MYTHS
5 BENEFITS OF CONFLICT
CONFLICT AND POWER
FLOWING WITH A COMPLAINT
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS
HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT
FORGIVING
ONLINE CONFLICT ISSUES
WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL
CONFLICT?
CONFLICT DEFINED
TWO WAYS TO APPROACH DEFINING CONFLICT
FORMAL TEXTUAL DEFINITION
CONFLICT AS A PROCESS
TEXTUAL DEFINTION OF CONFLICT
CONFLICT-FUJISHIN
ANY DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE. A DIFFERENCE OF OPINIONS, BELIEFS,
EMOTIONS, OR BEHAVIORS.-FUJISHIN
CONFLICT-BEEBE & BEEBE’S DEFINITION
EXPRESSED STRUGGLE
BETWEEN AT LEAST TWO
INTERDEPENDENT PEOPLE
INTERDEPENDENT-DEFINITION:
MUTUALLY
DEPENDENT; DEPENDING ON EACH
OTHERinfoplease.com dictionary
WHO PERCEIVE INCOMPATIBLE GOALS, SCARCE RESOURCES, OR INTERFERENCE FROM OTHERS
AND WHO ARE ATTEMPTING TO
ACHIEVE SPECIFIC GOALS
CONFLICT:
EXPRESSED STRUGGLE BETWEEN AT LEAST TWO
INTERDEPENDENT PEOPLE WHO PERCEIVE
INCOMPATIBLE GOALS, SCARCE RESOURCES, OR
INTERFERENCE FROM OTHERS, AND WHO ARE
ATTEMPTING TO ACHIEVE SPECIFIC GOALS
DEFINING CONFLICT AS A PROCESS
CONFLICT AS PROCESS
ALL CONFLICT HAS:
A SOURCE
A BEGINNING
A MIDDLE
AN END
AN AFTERMATH
CONFLICT SOURCE:
PRIOR
CONDITIONS
CONFLICT BEGINNING: FRUSTRATION AWARENESS
CONFLICT MIDDLE:
ACTIVE CONFLICT
CONFLICT END:
RESOLUTION
CONFLICT AFTERMATH:
FOLLOWUP
TYPES OF CONFLICT
PSEUDOCONFLICT
CONFLICT TRIGGERED BY A
LACK OF UNDERSTANDING
AND MISCOMMUNICATION
SIMPLE CONFLICT
CONFLICT THAT STEMS FROM
DIFFERENT IDEAS, DEFINITIONS,
PERCEPTIONS, OR GOALS
EGO CONFLICT
CONFLICT IN WHICH THE ORIGINAL ISSUE IS
IGNORED AS PARTNERS ATTACK
EACH OTHER'S SELF ESTEEM
CONFLICT TRIGGERS
ENTITLEMENT
FAIRNESS
FIVE RESPONSES TO
CONFLICT
FIVE RESPONSES TO CONFLICT
AVOIDANCE
ACCOMODATION
AGRESSION
COMPROMISE
COLLABORATION
AVOIDANCE
ACT OF IGNORING FLEEING, OR NOT RESPONDING TO A
CONFLICT SITUATION
ACCOMODATION
ACT OF GIVING OTHERS WHAT THEY
WANT AT YOUR EXPENSE
ACCOMODATION
IN THE LONG RUN, FREQUENT ACCOMODATION IN SIGNIFICANT AREAS OF INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT CAN BE EXTREMELY HARMFUL TO
THE ONE WHO CHOOSES TO ACCOMMODATE. IT CAN LEAD TO ANGER, BITTERNESS, RETALIATION, AND DEPRESSION.-FUJISHIN
AGRESSION
INDIRECTLY: HIDDEN OR MANIPULATED
EXPRESSIONS OF HOSTILITY
DIRECTLY: THREATEN THE PSYCHOLOGICAL,
EMOTIONAL, OR PHYSICAL WELL BEING
OF A PERSON
COMPROMISE
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE THAT ATTEMPTS TO FIND THE MIDDLE
GROUND IN A CONFLICT
COLLABORATION
WORKING TOGETHER ON A PROBLEM TO DISCOVER A
SOLUTION THAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO BOTH
INDIVIDUALS
COLLABORATION
COLLABORATORS USUALLY HAVE HIGH REGARD FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHERS
COLLABORATORS POSSESS A DESIRE TO COMMUNICATE AND WORK WITH OTHERS IN HEALTHY CONSTRUCTIVE WAYS
MOST DESIRABLE AND EFFECTIVE METHOD FOR MANAGING AND RESOLVING CONFLICT
ABC’S OF COLLABORATION
A. ANALYSIS: INVITE THE OTHER PERSON TO MEET AND DISCUSS THE CONFLICT OR PROBLEM YOU FACE (MEET IN QUIET PLACE, LISTEN TO EACH OTHER, REPHRASE PARTNER’S CONCERNS, THEN EXPRESS YOUR OWN)
B. BRAINSTORMING: GENERATE LARGE NUMBER OF SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM WITHOUT EVALUATION (LIMIT THE TIME, NO EVALUATION YET, COMBINE IDEAS)
C. CONSENSUS: REACHING AGREEMENT ON A SOLUTION THAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO BOTH PARTIES (“CAN YOU LIVE WITH THIS SOLUTION FOR A PERIOD OF TIME?”)
COLLABORATION
REMEMBER, NOT ALL CONFLICT CAN BE RESOLVED
REMEMBER TRAITS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATOR: FLEXIBILITY, OPENESS, KINDNESS
MORE QUESTIONS AND INFORMATION IN TEXT
CONFLICT MYTHS
MYTHS ABOUT CONFLICT:
IDEAS WE HOLD ABOUT CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIPS
THAT MAY BE INCORRECT
MYTH #1
CONFLICT MUST ALWAYS BE
AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS
"CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE, BUT COMBAT IS OPTIONAL."
-MAX LUCADO
MYTH #2
CONFLICT IS ALWAYS SOMEONE
ELSE’S FAULT
MYTH #3
I MUST LIKE AND BE LIKED BY
EVERYONE ELSE
MYTH #4
EVERYTHING SHOULD GO MY
WAY
MYTH #5
THERE IS ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO
ANY PROBLEM
MYTH #6 ALL CONFLICT CAN
ALWAYS BE RESOLVED
MYTH #7
CONFLICT IS ALWAYS A SIGN OF
A POOR INTERPERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP
MYTH #8
CONFLICT ALWAYS OCCURS BECAUSE OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS
BENEFITS OF CONFLICT
BENEFITS OF CONFLICT
1. EXPANDED AWARENESS-OPPORTUNITY TO PROCESS, INTERACT, AND BEHAVE IN A DIFFERENT, MORE FOCUSED MANNER
2. IMPROVED INTERACTION-ENCOURAGES INCREASED AND IMPROVED INTERACTION
3. INCREASED SATISFACTION-FROM FRESH IDEAS AND SOLUTIONS
4. INCREASED BONDING-HEALTHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION LEADS TO CLOSER CONNECTION
5. DEVELOPED MATURITY-EGO, EMPATHY, PATIENCE, COMPROMISE, FORGIVENESS
REVIEW: • CONFLICT DEFINED• TYPES OF CONFLICT• CONFLICT RESPONSES• CONFLICT MYTHS• BENEFITS OF CONFLICT
CONFLICT AND POWER
OFTEN, CONFLICT IS ROOTED IN
STRUGGLES FOR CONTROL OR
POWER-WE ARE REALLY FIGHTING
OVER POWER
HOW ARE WE USING POWER TO
INFLUENCE OTHERS TO
ACHIEVE GOALS? HOW ARE OTHERS
SEEKING TO INFLUENCE US?
INTERPERSONAL POWER:
DEGREE TO WHICH A PERSON IS ABLE TO INFLUENCE HIS OR
HER PARTNER
1. PRINCIPLES OF INTERPERSONAL
POWER
POWER PRINCIPLE #1
POWER EXISTS IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS
POWER PRINCIPLE #2
POWER DERIVES FROM THE ABILITY TO
MEET A PERSON'S NEEDS
DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP:
RELATIONSHIP IN WHICH
ONE PARTNER HAS A GREATER NEED FOR THE OTHER TO MEET HIS OR
HER NEEDS
POWER PRINCIPLE #3
BOTH PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP HAVE
SOME POWER
POWER PRINCIPLE #4
POWER IS CIRCUMSTANTIAL
POWER PRINCIPLE #5
POWER IS NEGOTIATED
2. SOURCES OF INTERPERSONAL
POWER
LEGITIMATE POWER
POWER THAT IS BASED ON RESPECT FOR A PERSON'S POSITION
REFERENT POWER POWER THAT COMES FROM OUR ATTRACTION TO ANOTHER PERSON, OR THE CHARISMA A PERSON POSSESSES
EXPERT POWER
POWER BASED ON A PERSON'S KNOWLEDGE
AND EXPERIENCE
WE GRANT POWER TO THOSE WHO
HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE IN RELATIONSHIPS
REWARD POWER
POWER BASED ON A PERSON'S ABILITY TO SATISFY OUR NEEDS
MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
COERCIVE POWER
POWER BASED ON THE USE OF SANCTIONS OR
PUNISHMENTS TO INFLUENCE OTHERS
3. POWER TO PERSUADE
COMPLIANCE GAINING
TAKING PERSUASIVE
ACTIONS TO GET OTHERS TO COMPLY
WITH OUR GOALS
4. POWER NEGOTIATION
POWER NEGOTIATION
ASSESS NEEDS
IDENTIFY POWER-
BASED CONFLICTS DISCUSS POWER ISSUES DIRECTLY
POWER NEGOTIATION
WHAT ARE MY NEEDS AND WHAT ARE THEIR
NEEDS?
WHERE ARE THERE IMBALANCES OF
POWER?
TALK DIRECTLY ABOUT THE ISSUE OF
POWER
FLOWING WITH A COMPLAINT: A CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILL
FLOWING WITH A COMPLAINT
A RESPONSE THAT CLARIFIES AND ACCEPTS THE TRUTH OF ANY CRITICISM-FUJISHIN
FOUR STEPS TO FLOWING WITH A COMPLAINT
1. REMAIN SILENT2. RESTATE THE SPEAKER’S COMPLAINT3. VALIDATE THE SPEAKER’S FEELINGS4. AGREE WITH ANY TRUTH TO THE CRITICISM
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
SKILLS
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS
MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS
MANAGE INFORMATION MANAGE GOALS
MANAGE THE PROBLEM
MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS
• ANGER AWARENESS• UNDERSTAND SOURCE• CONSCIOUS DECISIONS• MUTUAL ARRANGEMENT• PLAN MESSAGE• BREATHE• WATCH NONVERBAL• NO PERSONAL ATTACKS• ESTABLISH RAPPORT• SELF TALK
MANAGE INFORMATION
CLEARLY DESCRIBE
"OWN" STATEMENTS
USE EFFECTIVE LISTENING
ASK QUESTIONS
BE EMPATHETIC
MANAGE GOALS
IDENTIFY GOALS
SEE WHERE THEY OVERLAP
MANAGE THE PROBLEM
DEFINE THE PROBLEM ANALYZE THE PROBLEM DETERMINE THE GOALS GENERATE MULTIPLE SOLUTIONS SELECT BEST SOLUTION
HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT
HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT:
PSEUDOCONFLICT-CHECK PERCEPTIONS SIMPLE CONFLICT-STAY FOCUSED ON FACTS AND ISSUES EGO CONFLICT-RETURN TO ISSUES NOT ATTACKS
FORGIVING
FORGIVENESS
THE ACT OF GRANTING FREE PARDON FOR AN OFFENSE-FUJISHIN
FACTORS TO CONSIDER WHEN FOGIVING ANOTHER
1. WHETHER THERE HAVE BEEN INSTANCES OF REPEATED OR CHRONIC PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL ABUSE
2. THE VIOLATION3. THE PERSON’S SINCERETY4. THE PROBABILITY OF REOCCURANCE
FORGIVENESS IS NOT A FEELING BUT A DECISION
SOME WILL NOT BE APOLOGETIC-SEE TEXT SUGGESTIONS
SOME WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU-CHOOSE TO CHANGE YOUR POSITION REGARDING THE
OFFENSE (YOU DID YOUR PART)
ASKING OTHERS FOR FORGIVESS
1. ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG2. APOLOGIZE FOR THE OFFENSE3. ASK THEIR FORGIVENESS
ONLINE CONFLICT ISSUES
FLAMING-SENDING AN OVERLY NEGATIVE ONLINE MESSAGE THAT PERSONALLY ATTACKS ANOTHER PERSON
DISINHIBITION EFFECT-THE LOSS OF INHIBITIONS WHEN INTERACTING WITH SOMEONE ONLINE THAT LEADS TO THE TENDENCY TO ESCALATE CONFLICT
REVIEW:
CONFLICT DEFINED
TYPES OF CONFLICT 4 RESPONSES TO CONFLICT
8 CONFLICT MYTHS
5 BENEFITS OF CONFLICT
CONFLICT AND POWER
FLOWING WITH A COMPLAINT
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS
HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT
FORGIVING
ONLINE CONFLICT ISSUES