helping people deal with change
TRANSCRIPT
T y p i c a l R e a c t i o n t o C h a n g e
Please be aware that in response to change, people tend to go through a series of emotional reactions.
Typically, passivity and denial give way to a fighting impulse, which in turn leads to depression, thensome testing activity to see what the new situation is like and finally to acceptance.
The duration of this process depends on an individual’s particular circumstances.You may notice that some people go through several cycles of this process before finally accepting thechange. This is quite normal.
Remember that emotion cannot be countered by reason alone, but requires emotional reassurance.
Time
Passive
Active
Em
oti
on
al R
esp
on
se
Stability at pointof change
Inability to act
Denial
AngerBargaining
Depression
Testing
Acceptance
© Paul Wigley Change Specialist 07778 058 026 [email protected] 01 April 2010 Page 1 of 2
T y p i c a l R e a c t i o n t o C h a n g e
Stages What to look out for How to help
Inabil ity to
Act
Often people confronted with change look a bit
stunned. They may seem a bit ‘frozen’ and could
well be in shock. If people believe they have no
choice in a situation, they feel like a victim.
They may seem unusually indecisive.
Empathize with them. Recognize that some
people take longer than others to absorb what
is happening. Help them to start talking about
how they feel.
Very, very delicately get them to start to
consider any choices they have in the
situation.
Denial
‘They can’t do this.’ ‘It will never work.’
‘We’ve seen this sort of thing before and nothing
ever changes.’
‘They need my role, they can’t do without me’
Help them to open up, become aware, and
overcome the reaction to deny, avoid or blame.
Anger
Mood swings, sudden outbursts of emotion,
different behaviour from their norm. Sometimes
anger, sometimes tears. Directing their feelings
at anyone around them. Even attacking others
randomly through their own frustration.
Help build a safe environment that enables
people to focus on their feelings, acknowledge
their fear, and use their support systems.
It is important that people are able to express
there emotions. Encourage them to do this as
it will lead them eventually to articulate their
fears/concerns and start to confront them.
Bargaining
People who are feeling that they have been
given an ultimatum will often seek any way they
can to get out of it.
They will look for chinks in the argument for the
change.
They will be determined and may spot valid gaps
in your justification.
Avoid any attempt to short circuit this stage
with magical solutions. Listen to their
suggestions – you may actually be surprised
with what you learn – they may have some
valuable insights. Respond with empathy and
take on board useful ideas whilst remaining
clear on the principles of the ‘new world’.
Depression
A person’s physiology usually lets you know
straight away that they are depressed. Their
head will most likely be down and their focus
internal. They are quite likely to avoid eye
contact. They will say far less than usual and
what they do say will probably be negative and
said in a dull tone with a sense of hopelessness.
Gently try to get them to open up. Encourage
them to talk to someone they trust.
Remember, you can’t force someone to open
up to you – they need to feel comfortable with
the person they open up to.
Testing
As someone starts to come out of a depressed
state they will feel more like testing the water of
the ‘new world’.
Encourage them to try out the ‘new world’.
Offer them reassurance and help finding new
methods for coping with difficulties.
Acceptance
Gradually as someone sees that the ‘new world’
is not such an unwelcome place they will begin
to accept it. They may even become strong
advocates of the ‘new world’.
Help people feel safe so they can practice in
the ‘new world’ until they get the hang of it.
© Paul Wigley Change Specialist 07778 058 026 [email protected] 01 April 2010 Page 2 of 2