By: Sumayya, Maneerat, Da Eun, Ji Yeon

Communication is the deepest need of the

human heart

People tend to speak more than to hear.

Five poor listening skillsSpacing outPretend ListeningSelective WritingWord listeningSelf-centered listening

This is the situation when somebody is talking

but we are thinking of something else rather than

listening.

We sometimes do this when we have troubles or

concerns but it is not okay to continuously do this

action

The common poor listening style is the Pretend

Listening

The situation where you pretend you are listening

by using words like…

“Yeah…”

“Uhuh…”

Listening to the part that is only interesting

People say the word “Army” in the conversation

so you talk about the army like, “Yeah! The

Army….”

Not developing good friendship

One wants to talk about this the another wants to

talk about that

Occurs when people are only focused on the

words not the body movement of the speaker.

When one says, “What do you think about

Ronaldo?” You may answer “Oh, He’s really

cool.” However, when you look at the speaker’s

face expression and body movements, the

speaker was asking whether Ronaldo likes the

speaker or not.

A conversation that includes “Busy Judgments”

“Busy Judgments” are judgments that are made

without thinking it precisely or judging rapidly.

THE most boring conversation is the Self-centered, Advising conversation

A conversation when a person mentions his ‘when I was young…’ or self-experience as an advisement

“You need to start making friends like I did when I was young.”

Think about your conversations with your friends. Imagine this situation. Boring huh?

Probing occurs when you try to dig up emotions

before people are ready to share them.

Parents do this activity with their children all the

time.

If you are asking too many questions the

conversation NEVER goes far.

Genuine Listening Listen with your eyes, heart and earsStand in their shoesPractice Mirroring

Communication

Tone/ Feeling

Body Language

Words

According to the upper graph the ‘Words’ of

communication is only 7% of the whole

communication. Hence, communication is really

not about words it is basically about Body

Language and Tone/Feelings.

Hence we listen to body language through eyes,

listen to tone/feeling through heart, and listen to

the words with ears

You must try to see the world as they see it and

try to feel as they feel.

“Until you walk a mile in another man’s

moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.” Robert

Byrne

Mirroring is…..

Repeating MEANING

Using your OWN words

WARM and CARING

Mimicking is…

REPEATING words

Using the SAME words

COLD and INDIFFERENT

If you practice mirroring but don’t really desire to

understand others, they will see through it and feel

manipulated.

Mirroring is a skill, the tip of the iceberg. Your

attitudes or desire to really understand another is the

lurking mass of ice underneath the surface. If your

attitude is right but you don’t have the skill, you’ll be

okay. But it doesn’t work the other way around.

If you both have the attitude and the skill, you’ll

become a powerful communicator.

“As I get it, you felt that…”

“So, as I see it…”

“I can see that you’re feeling…”

“You feel that…”

“So, what you’re saying is…”

Let’s take another look at the sister who needs a listening ear from her big brother to illustrate how different genuine listening is.

Sister says, “I don’t like our new school at all. Ever since we moved I’ve felt like the biggest outcast. I wish I could find some new friends.”

The brother could use any one of the following responses: “Pass the Cheetos?” (Spacing out) “Sounds great.” (Pretend listening)“Speaking of friends, my friend Bart ...” (Selective listening) “What you need to do is start meeting

new people.” (Advising) “You’re not trying hard enough.” (Judging)“Are you having trouble with your grades?” (Probing)But if big bro is smart, he’ll try mirroring:“You feel that school’s kind of tough right now.” (Mirroring)“It’s the worst. I mean I don’t have any friends. And that Tabatha Jones has been so rude to me. Oh, I

just don’t know what to do.”“You feel confused.” (Mirroring)“Sure do. I’ve always been popular and then suddenly no one knows my name. I’ve been trying to

get to know people, but it doesn’t seem to be working.”“I can see you’re frustrated.” (Mirroring)“Yeah. I probably sound like I’m psycho or something. Anyway, thanks for listening.”“No problem.”“What do you think I should do?”By listening, big brother made a huge deposit into his sister’s RBA. In addition, little sister is now

open to his advice. The time is now right for him to seek to be understood, to share his point of view.

Thank youYou have just finshed reading Habit 5

By Summaya, DaEun, Maneerat and Ji-Yeon