Hi Everyone.

Firstly I would like to thank everyone for donating to the CPIT collection on Tuesday, we collected around $400 which I know will be a great help. Remember, if you need any support getting through this incredibly difficult time, OPSA and other services around campus are here for you.

All the other student associations around the country have been doing a great deal to help out the Christchurch people. I have a list of what most of them are doing, so if you are interested just come to the office and ask me about it.

The Prez Sez

Editorial #3

Attention all burglars, looters and couch burners. Could I have your attention please the people who like to call emergency services during a search and rescue operation following an earthquake and pretend to be trapped in a building.

Hello to all those who like to dress up as EQC officials to get past a cordon just so they can steal stuff. This is an announcement for those amongst us who would set fire to their furniture when most of the available firemen in Dunedin have had to go to Christchurch.

You suck.

BTW, how do you like the new format Gyro? “It’s just a piece of A3 paper folded up,” said one astute young man (the kind who smoke for a reason) as I handed them out last week. Tell us what YOU think.

E-mail me at gyro@opsa.org.nz

Staff vs Students Soccer 2011The student team started off strongly, with some pre-match intimidation tactics involving some impressive football skills. Campus services did look flash in their matching orange safety vests, making up the majority of the staff team, with an honorable appearance by one lonesome Admin staff member (Christine). But sadly they lacked the same shine on their finishing shots. The students managed just fine with no set uniform, some even wearing overalls and a few with no shoes! Being ahead at half time the students were confident enough to allow the staff team a goalie (Rules were no goalies). It helped keep the score to single digits and allowed the staff to keep some dignity. One of the star forwards for the student team did accidentally kick the ball over the back fence with a shot on goal near the end of the match. An allegedly underhanded tactical option perhaps? But it allowed the students to win with a clean slate (as there was only one ball). Well done team! Good luck next time for the staff.

Stephen Aitken

I appreciate how hard it is to study when there are other things going on in life, but keep in mind the harder you push yourself to get through these challenging times, the bigger the reward is at the end of it.

This has been a busy (and awful) couple of weeks for everyone in New Zealand, so I would like to end this week’s column with a quote - hoping it makes people think about life.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela.

Michelle Fidow, OPSA president 2011, president@opsa.org.nz

March 2011

Looking at the world through the visored eyes of the Stig of Design, Marcel Raven-Bonqueres.

DesignasaurusThat’s cool. Now let’s get nachosFew bands can claim Kurt Cobain as their roadie. From hardcore-punk roots, The Melvins are often called “The Godfathers of Grunge” and have influenced Nirvana, Soundgarden, & Tool amongst others. Their interview with Gyro promised a gig that was “opposite to normal”.

During an extended wait at the door (resolving the problem of getting in because one’s editor had reserved tickets in her name), I noticed that the audience was a disparate collection of metalers, stoners, punks and randoms, both older and young, who might not usually alone enjoy a night out together.

The venue manager pressed on me a set of earplugs, noting High On Fire were the loudest band to ever play Refuel. He wouldn’t take my “Nah, I’m old-school, I’ll bareback it,” reply. Thankfully. Whilst taking a piss after only a few minutes of High On Fire, I noticed I already was missing some decibels and gratefully plugged up.

The Melvins played with shattering intensity and energy. Their genre is difficult to describe: sludge-metal / stoner-rock featuring what I’d hazard to call experimental ‘art-rock hardcore’. They delivered a gigantic sound with searing riffs punctuated by plodding soundscapes creating a wall of sound that may have played a part in the Chch ‘quake a day or so later.

Oh yeah, and they had 2 drummers. Cynical folk like me may think that 2 drummers is a gimmick. Wrong. The Melvins made awesome use of 2 drummers. Without a macho bullshit wank-off competition they skilfully complemented and bounced off each other, giving the audience a good hard pulverising - likened to 2 drum sets being skilfully tossed down a long flight of stairs.

The tightly-packed and sweaty dancers loved every bit of it. Even the crowd surfers promptly shut down by security. Refuel was the perfect venue; you hardly ever get to be intimate with an international act. With the right promoters you’d be paying twice as much to see them and only watch from far greater than spitting distance.

Did they deliver a gig that was “opposite to normal”? Yes and no. Their experimental ‘art-rock hardcore’ was refreshingly different from other hardcore acts. Indeed, to the younger folk they probably pushed the boundaries of a traditional rock with something excitingly different from normal. Though for the older folk who grew up on the likes of Chris Knox, the Melvins experimental shtick was great, but perhaps not entirely the opposite of our “normal”.

There was no encore. Because, oddly, no one asked for one. Not that the audience didn’t want more, but because it appears Dunedin audiences have become soft, or perhaps fail to understand the audience-band dynamic (bands like you to ask for an encore – it means you thought they weren’t shite). It was almost embarrassing to have a significant international act rip it up on stage, only to have a boorish Dunedin audience pretty much say, “That was cool. Now let’s go to the 24 for some nachos”.

I know that according to Plato at least, necessity is the mother of invention. Was it really necessary though for that other Mother of Invention, rock star Frank Zapper to name his children Moon Unit, Dweezil and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen? Probably, if you see relatives as accessories to be branded within an artistic project but bewildering to the rest of us.

The ghost of Zapper it seems, now lives on in the design and marketing studios of car and truck manufacturer, Isuzu with the christening of recent models, Mysterious Utility Wizard , Giga 20 Light Dump and Mini Active Urban Sandal. Who? What? Why? Zapperisms abound, especially within automotive and the wider transportation design industries and Frankly, it makes the sober consumer yearn for more trustworthy and helpful labels. The Morris Dancer, The Austin Alcove, The Audi Partner… The Ford Clinic.

A simple task you might think – to replace my commuter bicycle. The honest, modestly labeled Raleigh Roadster [with 3 speed Sturmey Archer hub] had served me well but the allure of a lighter frame and more gears grew as I got heavier and slower. But no, no easy task, the commuter bikes in New Zealand at least are hidden, awkward, hybrids alluded to in an off handed way as the lumbering cousins of competition racing bikes or recreational MTBs. Extreme sport elevated to the urban everyday by the fast set Richochet, Nitro, Hardline Nevada and Bravo and enforced through the dress code of bulging reflective lycra and mandatory candy floss helmets.

It’s been a while as a consumer wallflower but now I have a date. As with any new tentative relationship I find it is best to go Dutch and Dutch I will go, pedaling furiously. I’ve found the perfect commuter bike. She has always been there of course – the graceful Gazelle of a certain age - the Toer Populair 8 speed- Can’t wait to get a leg over... and for helmets to be made optional.

“ Can’t wait to get a leg over.

Gig Review The Melvins (Seattle, USA) Venue Refuel 20 FebReviewer Mark Baxter

Insight Betty Goop

Wild Things

I have unearthed some unusual animal trivia and some of it is just plain weird.

For instance, during mating season, the deep sea dwelling Angler Fish literally attaches himself to the female in case she may need…er, anything. All the while he gets sustenance from feeding off her. I think Mr Angler Fish needs to buy his own groceries, the loser. Also, I don’t know about you, but his behaviour just smacks of needy to me. It’s beyond me what she sees in him - he’s not exactly what you’d call good looking. Mind you, it is dark down there.

The moral of that story is, don’t be clingy. It’s not attractive. Sometimes a girl needs a night alone so we can paint our toenails in peace and have a good cry at a chick flick (besides, we all know how tears practically send you boys into anaphylactic shock).

The Gyr Falcon who nests in the Arctic makes me jealous. This amazing bird regularly preens itself thus activating the uropygial gland on it’s lower back. This ‘preen gland’ stimulates an oily moisturiser that basically waterproofs the feathers. Now even though I do own an umbrella, if I could rub my lower back and instantly moisturise myself, there’s no way I would be spending what I do at The Body Shop.

Some animal facts have surprised me. I’ve learnt that boy earwigs have not one, but two boy bits (and egos off the Richter), pigs have 30 minute orgasms (that’s a lot of squealing), and when a male hippo wants to bump ugly bits he defecates shortly before-hand. Classy.

But hey, animals are lucky because they can’t talk. They will never run the risk of getting drunk and trying to impress a potential mate by drawling, “Are you a parking ticket? No? ‘Cos you have FINE written all over you baby.” Oooh stop it. Really, stop it now.

And boys, if you ever stay over, have a shower in the morning and decide to haphazardly use a girl’s precious $40 shampoo, or alternatively, dump a girl to go out with her (ex) best friend, then I have three words for you to consider: Black Widow Spider.

Cleaning UpSeminal Dunedin band The Clean has been named the winner of the inaugural New Zealand Music Industry centre (NZMiC) Recording Award. The award recognises recording artists who have contributed significantly to NZ’s cultural identity. The prize is seven days of recording time in the main studio at the NZMiC Albany Street complex.

David Kilgour, founding member of The Clean, speaking to Gyro after the award was announced, said he was proud of the fantastic work being done at the University by the likes of Graeme Downes and the team involved in the iniative. Established in 1978 by brothers Hamish and David Kilgour and Peter Gutteridge, The Clean added bassist Robert Scott, becoming an important part of the “Dunedin Sound” recording the 2nd Flying Nun release “Tally Ho!” which went to #19 on the NZ charts.

The band has already begun recording what will be a new EP. After all these years, why does this relationship still work? “We have long gaps. But every time we reform something happens- it’s like blowing on the embers, fanning the fire again.”

“The Albany street studio is a fantastic asset for the city,” said Kilgour, modelled as it is on the BBC 2 recording room in London - preserving what is “the best room in NZ for recording.” The Clean leave for a tour of NZ and Australia tour this week, beginning in Wellington. Of the capital’s earthquake fears, Kilgour quoted their American manager, who was with them in NY during Sept 11, “Carry on as usual. It’s gonna be alright.”

NZMiC was established last year as collaboration between the University of Otago Music Department and Dunedin music promoter Dunedinmusic.com. Applications for the 2012 NZMiC recording award will be invited in May. G.

Polytechnic observes 2 mins silence for Chch Quake victims

How to tell if your Lecturer is a PsychopathIn the light of recent events (regardless of how unaware the youth of today seem to be of them) we here at Gyro thought it wise to present a check-list enabling even the simplest among you to spot a loony, and thus avoid being chopped into pieces small enough to mail.

His eyes are bulging and watery•He teaches economics•He carries a knife to “cut his fruit”•HR have removed his hard drive•

Remember, the only time to date a student is when you ARE one.

India O’Kane Bachelor of Nursing

What made you get into nursing? Were you always the one who bandaged your friends?

“Firstly being able to earn a decent wage at the end of it is very attractive, but actually it’s the gore factor. I have 3 brothers and they were always running to me to be patched up so I knew I could stand the sight of blood. I’m not afraid of getting in there.

Biggest challenge so far at Otago Polytechnic? Organisation. I’m pretty bloody hopeless. And finances.

Explain your outfit. The t-shirt is actually part of an anti bullying campaign. It’s called, “So So Happy”.

Tally Ho! Summer Golden Ale January 2011 Emerson’s Brewer’s Reserve Release

Orientation Pass/Fail

The Flying Nun series continues… The Clean’s 1981 debut single “Tally Ho!” gave the fledgling label its first hit. Tally Ho! the beer is a hit to.

This new release from Emerson’s has the texture and colour of a true summer ale; clean, crisp, and wonderfully golden. It has a beautifully rich full bodied smell. The generous smother of malt is well balanced with the subtlety of

citrus flavours. This ale has a clean aftertaste and flows well. As well as malt, this beer is deliciously hoppy which in itself brings out the true summer ale. Drink cold, on its own, or with an iconic Kiwi barbeque. A superb ale that is sure to make your summer a little more relaxing.

It’s Drinking Now.

Nick Swindells

India O’Kane

Want your face here? e-mail gyro@opsa.org.nz

Class Rep Meeting Thursday 3 March,12 noon, in room G106, andnominations open for the 2011 student exec.Maori, Pacif ic Island or International Students Thursday 17 March: meeting for all students who identify as Maori, Pacif ic Island or International at 12 noon in room G106. FREE St Patrick’s Day Breakfast (OPSA) From 8am outside the Manaaki. Take the Mickey and Dress in Green for the love of the Irish!Sport for Fun at Unipol begins Pecha Kecha night #9 20 March Glenroy Auditorium

What’s On DiaryThe Dirty (electro) play Sammy Fri 11 March (beware the Scummy’s handbag thieves)Polytech GraduationNZ Book Month beginsSix60 (DubRoots) Union Hall UofO sat 12 MarchAnna Coddington album release tour Chicks Hotel March 12Jimmy Taylor at the muso’s club 12 March $5Get a wax; children are frightenedDress in black and have a “Dunedin Sound” Party

Toga PartyPass

ComedyBig Pass.

Hypnotist ½ Pass.

Kids of 88 Massive Fail

OverallOrientation 2011 gets a C- Must do better. Chris Harris

Everybody was good and drunk, but not too out of it.

Featuring Steve Wrigley, Jeremy Elwood & Justine Smith - Extremely funny, (in hindsight the earthquake joke they told was a little off colour).Guy Cater. Bits were good, bits were boring, been to previous shows of his and this didn’t measure up.

Just shocking, the opening acts (Computers Want Me Dead, Mr. Biscuits & Zowie) were awful and half the audience had left by the time the Kids of 88 came on- this might have affected their gig, they were very off themselves.

Fri 11 March

Want your art here? gyro@opsa.org.nz

2011

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EditorLisa Scott(03) 477-6974gyro@opsa.org.nz

Technical EditorMark Baxter021-114-6753(03) 477-6974Mark.Baxter@op.ac.nz

AdvertisingNathan Millar021-181-3151(03) 477-6974advertise@opsa.org.nz

www.gyro.org.nz

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www.opsa.org.nzAll material © OPSA 2011 unless otherwise stated.Views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of OPSA.

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Credits

Mark Baxter, Michelle Fidow, Rebecca Hohaia, Pepa Belton, Roy Colbert, David Kilgour, Lesley S. Stephen Aitken, Nick Swindells, Chris Harris

Beer Review