the essential

for travellingwith your dog

your husband

guide

The Vehicle1. Make sure it’s a vehicle thats not too

precious, dogs chew! 2. If needed, ‘modify

the van’ add shades for the dogs, or

tangles of metal to keep the dogs in the

boot. 3. Make sure the vehicle is up

to the journey, check seat belts and

headrests etc. 4. Take lots of scented

‘magic trees’ to combat any dog odor

5. Finally, ensure you know what

kind of fuel your vehicle takes!

1. Know your north from your south don’t go up to devon and down to glasgow. 2. Keep your chauffeur out of jail by monitoring his speed and nagging appropriately 3. Guard the sat nav box, others on your trip may not have your patience. 4. Plan regular ‘pee pit stops’ always remember ‘little and often!’

the route

1. Remember to take all the things that you have hanged on the wardrobe with you!

2. Don’t under pack, if in doubt pack it. Is one kitchen sink really enough?

3. Any plans should be flexible, if something unexpected happens, like a leopard turning up, don’t squeal!

4. If your travelling partners have poor handwriting re-write all notes / lists in your fair hand so that you, as the co-pilot can understand them.

notes, notes and notesth

e pla

n

the noise1. Get your Cliff Richard ready 2. Prior to your journey check the balance of warble and music to make sure the mix feels ‘right’ 3. Get your singing voice ready, you have 1000 miles of sing ’a’ long to last. 4. Be loud yourself, LEFT HERE NOW needs to be clearly verbated. 5. Organise your audio books

and make sure you have the whole set! Missing disk 4 of 5 would be very annoying

to fin out once you’ve listened to the first 3!

1. Don’t sleep in the car, too much like dogging! 2. If your dogs can be jumpy, make good use of the ‘do not disturb’

sign. 3. If you are cold. put another dog on the bed. 4. Once finished with your accommodation, make

sure to apologies for the hair left behind and give everywhere a quick f-breeze!

5. If your dog(s) like carrying around soft furnishings in their

mouths extra apologies should be made!

accomodationthe

Remember, never get yourself into a situation where you have no poo

bags! Picking them up without one is as embarrassing as not having them in the first place! Only more messy!

the mesS

the cust

oms

1. Local custo

ms

are very impor

tant, make sur

e you and your

dogs passport

photos are sti

ll an accurate

representation

of physical l

ikeness. I.E.

make sure your

vizla has not

touched up hi

s

grey to go on

his hols.

2. Discourage

your fellow tr

avellers from

mocking the cu

stom officers,

(for example

imitating thei

r accent) or a

ggravating the

m (for

example biting

them).

3. Get your st

ories straight

BEFORE seeing

the

customs people

, all your par

ty must refer

to the

‘marijuana’ as

‘tea’ if they

are to be con

vinced.

the cust

oms

1. Local custo

ms

are very impor

tant, make sur

e you and your

dogs passport

photos are sti

ll an accurate

representation

of physical l

ikeness. I.E.

make sure your

vizla has not

touched up hi

s

grey to go on

his hols.

2. Discourage

your fellow tr

avellers from

mocking the cu

stom officers,

(for example

imitating thei

r accent) or a

ggravating the

m (for

example biting

them).

3. Get your st

ories straight

BEFORE seeing

the

customs people

, all your par

ty must refer

to the

‘marijuana’ as

‘tea’ if they

are to be con

vinced.

Some useful translations to learn are1. Yes my dog does bite, and yes this is my dog. FRENCH: Oui mon chien mord, et oui c’est mon chien. SPANISH: Mi perro muerde sí, y éste es sí mi perro.2. Have you seen another dog, he is just like this one. FRENCH: Vous avez vu un autre chien, il est juste comme celui-ci.

SPANISH: Tiene usted visto otro perro, él es apenas como éste.3. The satellite navigation box is broken please help us. FRENCH: Le cadre satellite de navigation est cassé svp nous aident.

SPANISH: El rectángulo por satélite de la navegación está quebrado nos ayuda por favor.4. You like my dog? Yes he is a good egg.

FRENCH: Vous aimez mon chien ? Oui il est un bon oeuf. SPANISH: Usted tiene gusto de mi perro? Él es sí un buen huevo.

the translation

Some useful translations to learn are1. Yes my dog does bite, and yes this is my dog. FRENCH: Oui mon chien mord, et oui c’est mon chien. SPANISH: Mi perro muerde sí, y éste es sí mi perro.2. Have you seen another dog, he is just like this one. FRENCH: Vous avez vu un autre chien, il est juste comme celui-ci.

SPANISH: Tiene usted visto otro perro, él es apenas como éste.3. The satellite navigation box is broken please help us. FRENCH: Le cadre satellite de navigation est cassé svp nous aident.

SPANISH: El rectángulo por satélite de la navegación está quebrado nos ayuda por favor.4. You like my dog? Yes he is a good egg.

FRENCH: Vous aimez mon chien ? Oui il est un bon oeuf. SPANISH: Usted tiene gusto de mi perro? Él es sí un buen huevo.

the translation

the dogs

1. Choose the dogs that you travel with carefully.

Consider taking a spare, that way if you loose one it’s

not so bad. 2. On fancy european trips it’s important

to think of fashion. Make shore that, like luggage, your

dogs match each other and your mode of transport. i.e.

if one dog is red, ensure the other is, and of course the

car too! 3. Only take impeccably behaved dogs, short of

that make sure at least one is and that your dogs look

similar enough to be passed off as each other!

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