www.greggdistributors.ca or onVISIT US ON-LINE AT@greggltd @greggltd Gregg Distributors Ltd.

GREGG DISTRIBUTORS LTD.

CANADACANADACOME VISIT US AT ONE OF OUR 24 LOCATIONS!

Sources of Reference:www.wikipedia.org | www.ranker.com/list/famous-comedians-from-canada/reference | www.jokejive.com/topic/canadian | www.swanparadise.com | www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com | https://workingholidayincanada.com/canadian-slang-know/ | weknowmemes.com

Whoever said, “Do the job right the first time and you’ll never have to do it again” never shoveled snow

off a Canadian driveway, eh?

Every time I hear a mean joke about being Canadian, I go to the hospital and get my feelings checked for free.

Q: The best time to see a Canadian dentist is?A: Tooth hurty

Q: A Canadian doctor gives you an annual check up. What does he do first?A: He body checks you.

Q: How many Torontonians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one! They hold the bulb up to the socket and wait while the world revolves around them.

Q: What did the Canadian bra say to the toque?A: You go ahead and I’ll give these two a lift!

Q: A guy tried to sell me Canada?A: I said, “I wasn’t having Nunavut.”

Q: Canada has a real hard water problem.A: Most of the time it’s frozen.

Q: What kind of coat do Canadian dinosaurs wear?A: A Jurassic Parka!

Canada Day —what a great time of year! The sun is shining, the winter’s a distant memory, and we’re looking forward to a weekend at the cabin. Sounds pretty good, eh? The only thing better is to have some reading material for your leisurely lounging at the lake, so we’ve put together this year’s selection of “Fun Facts about Canada”! We are very proud to be a 100% Canadian company, which is why we want to share these with you — they offer up bits and pieces of information that you may or may not have known about our wonderful country. You can also find the brochures on our website, as they become available.

Go to www.greggdistributors.ca and click on the button “Fun Facts About Canada”.

ALBERTAEdmonton - Main

Ph. (780) 4-GREGGS or 447-3447 Fax (780) 451-2528

Edmonton - EastPh. (780) 450-2233 Fax (780) 450-2266

Edmonton - SouthPh. (780) 409-2000 Fax (780) 409-2100

NiskuPh. (780) 979-9988 Fax (780) 979-9989

AchesonPh. (780) 948-7111 Fax (780) 948-7222

AthabascaPh. (780) 675-3110 Fax (780) 675-4774

Calgary - MainPh. (403) 253-6463 Fax (403) 253-5926

Calgary - FoothillsPh. (403) 203-1928 Fax (403) 236-1912

ClairmontPh. (780) 567-2238 Fax (780) 567-2239

Drayton ValleyPh. (780) 621-0056 Fax (780) 621-0057

FairviewPh. (780) 835-5115 Fax (780) 835-3535

Fort McMurrayPh. (780) 715-4000 Fax (780) 743-8833

Grande PrairiePh. (780) 513-4000 Fax (780) 513-6000

High LevelPh. (780) 926-2521 Fax (780) 926-3514

LethbridgePh. (403) 328-7333 Fax (403) 328-7666

Rainbow LakePh. (780) 956-2588 Fax (780) 956-2589

Red Deer - EastPh. (403) 341-3100 Fax (403) 341-3210

Red Deer - QueensPh: (403) 406-6044 Fax: (403) 406-6099

Spirit RiverPh. (780) 864-3333 Fax (780) 864-3330

StrathmorePh. (403) 934-3710 Fax (403) 934-5453

BRITISH COLUMBIAFort St. John

Ph. (250) 785-8000 Fax (250) 785-8022

LangleyPh. (604) 888-9588 Fax (604) 888-4688

NanaimoPh. (250) 754-1935 Fax. (250) 754-1165

SASKATCHEWANSaskatoon

Ph. (306) 343-6655 Fax (306) 343-6656

Fun’ EhCanadianJokes

tom GreenAge: 47Is an actor, rapper, writer, comedian, producer, director, talk show host, and media personality. Best known as a guest host on the Late Show with David Letterman,

and hosting his own show on MTV, The Tom Green Show.Born: Pembroke, ON

Mike MyersAge: 55

Is an actor, comedian, screenwriter, and film producer, known for his run as a featured

performer on Saturday Night Live from 1989-1995 and for playing the title roles in the Wayne’s World, Austin Powers and Shrek films.

Born: Scarborough, ON

Seth RogenAge: 37

Is an actor, screenwriter,

producer, director, and comedian.

He began his career performing

stand-up comedy during his

teenage years.

Born: Vancouver, BC

John CandyAge: 44 (1950-1994)Was an actor and comedian. Best known for his roles in Stripes, Splash, Cool Runnings, The Great Outdoors, Spaceballs, Uncle Buck, and probably his best known role in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Born: Newmarket, ON

Caroline RheaAge: 55

Is a stand-up comedian, actress

and model. She is known for

her role as Hilda Spellman from

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch and

The Caroline Rhea Show.

Born: Westmount, QC

Rick MercerAge: 49

Is a comedian, television

personality, political satirist and

author. He is best known for his

work on This Hour Has 22 Minutes

and The Rick Mercer Report.

Born: St. John’s, NL

Jim CarreyAge: 57

James Eugene “Jim” Carrey is an actor, comedian, impressionist, screenwriter and film producer. Known for his highly energetic slapstick performances, he has

been described as one of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood.

Born: Newmarket, ON

Dave ThomasAge: 69Is a comedian, actor and television writer. He is best known for portraying Doug McKenzie on SCTV as well as in the film Strange Brew.

Born: St. Catharines, ON

russell petersAge: 48Is a comedian and actor. He started performing in 1989 and has set records for sales and attendance at comedian’s performances at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre, in London, England, and in Australia.

Born: Toronto, ON

Funny Canadians & Their Sense of “Humour”Have you noticed it’s spelled as “humour” and not as “humor” like the Americans do? This is another thing that sets Canadians apart from Americans. Canadian English is based more on British English, although it has many other influences, like those from our neighbour, the Americans. But let’s get back to the Canadian jokes topic...Eh?

Mt. Rushmore From The Canadian Side

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)A: Sure, it’s only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)A: What, did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s kind of a big horse with horns. (USA)A: It’s called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Canadian Middle Finger

Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website. Obviously the sarcastic answers are not to be taken seriously, but the questions were really asked, if you can believe that!

•You’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time.•You’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number.•You measure distance in hours.•You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.•You have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.•You can drive 90 km/h through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.•You carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them.•You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.•The speed limit on the highway is 80 km/h and you’re going 90 km/h and everybody is passing you.•Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.•You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

•You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.•You find 2 degrees “a little” chilly.•You know how to pronounce and spell Saskatchewan without blinking.•You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if there is still snow around.•You know what a tuque (toque?) is.•You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.•Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.•You drive on a highway, not a freeway.•You drink pop, not soda.•You go to the washroom, not the restroom or bathroom.•You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.•“Eh” is a very important part of your vocabulary and you understand all the 1,000 different meanings of “eh”, eh?

You’re Canadian If:

Canada, I have a question...

Leslie NielsenAge: 84 (1926-2010)

Was an actor and comedian.

He appeared in more than

100 films and 150 television

programs, portraying more

than 220 characters.

Born: Regina, SK

Dan AykroydAge: 66Is an actor, comedian, screenwriter and singer. He was known for his roles in The Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters, and was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for Driving Miss Daisy.

Born: Ottawa, ON

Howie MandelAge: 63

Is a comedian, actor, television

host, and voice actor. He is

known as the host of NBC’s Deal

or No Deal, and as a judge on

America’s Got Talent.

Born: Toronto, ON

tom GreenAge: 47Is an actor, rapper, writer, comedian, producer, director, talk show host, and media personality. Best known as a guest host on the Late Show with David Letterman,

and hosting his own show on MTV, The Tom Green Show.Born: Pembroke, ON

Mike MyersAge: 55

Is an actor, comedian, screenwriter, and film producer, known for his run as a featured

performer on Saturday Night Live from 1989-1995 and for playing the title roles in the Wayne’s World, Austin Powers and Shrek films.

Born: Scarborough, ON

Seth RogenAge: 37

Is an actor, screenwriter,

producer, director, and comedian.

He began his career performing

stand-up comedy during his

teenage years.

Born: Vancouver, BC

John CandyAge: 44 (1950-1994)Was an actor and comedian. Best known for his roles in Stripes, Splash, Cool Runnings, The Great Outdoors, Spaceballs, Uncle Buck, and probably his best known role in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Born: Newmarket, ON

Caroline RheaAge: 55

Is a stand-up comedian, actress

and model. She is known for

her role as Hilda Spellman from

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch and

The Caroline Rhea Show.

Born: Westmount, QC

Rick MercerAge: 49

Is a comedian, television

personality, political satirist and

author. He is best known for his

work on This Hour Has 22 Minutes

and The Rick Mercer Report.

Born: St. John’s, NL

Jim CarreyAge: 57

James Eugene “Jim” Carrey is an actor, comedian, impressionist, screenwriter and film producer. Known for his highly energetic slapstick performances, he has

been described as one of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood.

Born: Newmarket, ON

Dave ThomasAge: 69Is a comedian, actor and television writer. He is best known for portraying Doug McKenzie on SCTV as well as in the film Strange Brew.

Born: St. Catharines, ON

russell petersAge: 48Is a comedian and actor. He started performing in 1989 and has set records for sales and attendance at comedian’s performances at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre, in London, England, and in Australia.

Born: Toronto, ON

Funny Canadians & Their Sense of “Humour”Have you noticed it’s spelled as “humour” and not as “humor” like the Americans do? This is another thing that sets Canadians apart from Americans. Canadian English is based more on British English, although it has many other influences, like those from our neighbour, the Americans. But let’s get back to the Canadian jokes topic...Eh?

Mt. Rushmore From The Canadian Side

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)A: Sure, it’s only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)A: What, did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s kind of a big horse with horns. (USA)A: It’s called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Canadian Middle Finger

Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website. Obviously the sarcastic answers are not to be taken seriously, but the questions were really asked, if you can believe that!

•You’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time.•You’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number.•You measure distance in hours.•You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.•You have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.•You can drive 90 km/h through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.•You carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them.•You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.•The speed limit on the highway is 80 km/h and you’re going 90 km/h and everybody is passing you.•Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.•You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

•You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.•You find 2 degrees “a little” chilly.•You know how to pronounce and spell Saskatchewan without blinking.•You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if there is still snow around.•You know what a tuque (toque?) is.•You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.•Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.•You drive on a highway, not a freeway.•You drink pop, not soda.•You go to the washroom, not the restroom or bathroom.•You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.•“Eh” is a very important part of your vocabulary and you understand all the 1,000 different meanings of “eh”, eh?

You’re Canadian If:

Canada, I have a question...

Leslie NielsenAge: 84 (1926-2010)

Was an actor and comedian.

He appeared in more than

100 films and 150 television

programs, portraying more

than 220 characters.

Born: Regina, SK

Dan AykroydAge: 66Is an actor, comedian, screenwriter and singer. He was known for his roles in The Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters, and was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for Driving Miss Daisy.

Born: Ottawa, ON

Howie MandelAge: 63

Is a comedian, actor, television

host, and voice actor. He is

known as the host of NBC’s Deal

or No Deal, and as a judge on

America’s Got Talent.

Born: Toronto, ON

www.greggdistributors.ca or onVISIT US ON-LINE AT@greggltd @greggltd Gregg Distributors Ltd.

GREGG DISTRIBUTORS LTD.

CANADACANADACOME VISIT US AT ONE OF OUR 24 LOCATIONS!

Sources of Reference:www.wikipedia.org | www.ranker.com/list/famous-comedians-from-canada/reference | www.jokejive.com/topic/canadian | www.swanparadise.com | www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com | https://workingholidayincanada.com/canadian-slang-know/ | weknowmemes.com

Whoever said, “Do the job right the first time and you’ll never have to do it again” never shoveled snow

off a Canadian driveway, eh?

Every time I hear a mean joke about being Canadian, I go to the hospital and get my feelings checked for free.

Q: The best time to see a Canadian dentist is?A: Tooth hurty

Q: A Canadian doctor gives you an annual check up. What does he do first?A: He body checks you.

Q: How many Torontonians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one! They hold the bulb up to the socket and wait while the world revolves around them.

Q: What did the Canadian bra say to the toque?A: You go ahead and I’ll give these two a lift!

Q: A guy tried to sell me Canada?A: I said, “I wasn’t having Nunavut.”

Q: Canada has a real hard water problem.A: Most of the time it’s frozen.

Q: What kind of coat do Canadian dinosaurs wear?A: A Jurassic Parka!

Canada Day —what a great time of year! The sun is shining, the winter’s a distant memory, and we’re looking forward to a weekend at the cabin. Sounds pretty good, eh? The only thing better is to have some reading material for your leisurely lounging at the lake, so we’ve put together this year’s selection of “Fun Facts about Canada”! We are very proud to be a 100% Canadian company, which is why we want to share these with you — they offer up bits and pieces of information that you may or may not have known about our wonderful country. You can also find the brochures on our website, as they become available.

Go to www.greggdistributors.ca and click on the button “Fun Facts About Canada”.

ALBERTAEdmonton - Main

Ph. (780) 4-GREGGS or 447-3447 Fax (780) 451-2528

Edmonton - EastPh. (780) 450-2233 Fax (780) 450-2266

Edmonton - SouthPh. (780) 409-2000 Fax (780) 409-2100

NiskuPh. (780) 979-9988 Fax (780) 979-9989

AchesonPh. (780) 948-7111 Fax (780) 948-7222

AthabascaPh. (780) 675-3110 Fax (780) 675-4774

Calgary - MainPh. (403) 253-6463 Fax (403) 253-5926

Calgary - FoothillsPh. (403) 203-1928 Fax (403) 236-1912

ClairmontPh. (780) 567-2238 Fax (780) 567-2239

Drayton ValleyPh. (780) 621-0056 Fax (780) 621-0057

FairviewPh. (780) 835-5115 Fax (780) 835-3535

Fort McMurrayPh. (780) 715-4000 Fax (780) 743-8833

Grande PrairiePh. (780) 513-4000 Fax (780) 513-6000

High LevelPh. (780) 926-2521 Fax (780) 926-3514

LethbridgePh. (403) 328-7333 Fax (403) 328-7666

Rainbow LakePh. (780) 956-2588 Fax (780) 956-2589

Red Deer - EastPh. (403) 341-3100 Fax (403) 341-3210

Red Deer - QueensPh: (403) 406-6044 Fax: (403) 406-6099

Spirit RiverPh. (780) 864-3333 Fax (780) 864-3330

StrathmorePh. (403) 934-3710 Fax (403) 934-5453

BRITISH COLUMBIAFort St. John

Ph. (250) 785-8000 Fax (250) 785-8022

LangleyPh. (604) 888-9588 Fax (604) 888-4688

NanaimoPh. (250) 754-1935 Fax. (250) 754-1165

SASKATCHEWANSaskatoon

Ph. (306) 343-6655 Fax (306) 343-6656

Fun’ EhCanadianJokes