From Brutal Editing From Brutal Editing Emerges Good Emerges Good

WritingWriting

Fredrick W. BolingFredrick W. Boling

Arkansas Writers ConferenceArkansas Writers Conference

June 7, 2003June 7, 2003

TITLETITLE

1. Does it spark curiosity? 1. Does it spark curiosity? The Hunt The Hunt for Red October for Red October by Tom Clancy; by Tom Clancy; Dances With WolvesDances With Wolves by Michael Blake; by Michael Blake; The Snowblind MoonThe Snowblind Moon by John Byrne by John Byrne Cooke; Cooke; Wakan ManWakan Man by Fredrick W. by Fredrick W. Boling.Boling.

2. Does it fit the work?2. Does it fit the work?

SETTINGSETTING

1. Does the setting’s description 1. Does the setting’s description transport you into a believable locale?transport you into a believable locale?

2. Do the descriptive narrations ramble 2. Do the descriptive narrations ramble on or are they interspersed throughout on or are they interspersed throughout the story—most of them experienced the story—most of them experienced through the characters’ five senses.through the characters’ five senses.

3. Do the characters and the time 3. Do the characters and the time period agree?period agree?

SETTINGSETTING

4. Are there inconsistencies or 4. Are there inconsistencies or conflicts in the characters’ conflicts in the characters’ appearances, habits, disabilities, appearances, habits, disabilities, persona and background?persona and background?

PLOTPLOT

1. Is there a clear and believable 1. Is there a clear and believable main plot?main plot?

2. Is the plot understandably 2. Is the plot understandably resolved through sequencing of resolved through sequencing of events leading to its resolution?events leading to its resolution?

3. Are characters experiencing 3. Are characters experiencing consequences to the plot line in consequences to the plot line in which they have been placed, or are which they have been placed, or are they just fellow travelers?they just fellow travelers?

PLOTPLOT

4. Are subplots advancing the story 4. Are subplots advancing the story or used to stall ending the work?or used to stall ending the work?

5. Do the subplots reach their 5. Do the subplots reach their individual conclusions before the end individual conclusions before the end of the story?of the story?

PACINGPACING

1. Can a reader readily grasp the 1. Can a reader readily grasp the plot’s direction?plot’s direction?

2. Is the pace dawdling or too fast?2. Is the pace dawdling or too fast? 3. Does the pacing match the story’s 3. Does the pacing match the story’s

genre?genre? 4. Are scenes written so as to instill 4. Are scenes written so as to instill

continuity? Are transitions and continuity? Are transitions and sequels used to tie scenes together sequels used to tie scenes together and accomplish partial resolutions to and accomplish partial resolutions to conflicts?conflicts?

CHARACTERIZATIONCHARACTERIZATION

1. Are the characters real?1. Are the characters real? 2. Are they consistent?2. Are they consistent? 3. Does the protagonist undergo 3. Does the protagonist undergo

some sort of change in the story?some sort of change in the story? 4. Is the character’s background 4. Is the character’s background

given in manageable pieces?given in manageable pieces? 5. Are the characters cardboard 5. Are the characters cardboard

cutouts instead of three-dimensional?cutouts instead of three-dimensional?

CHARACTERIZATIONCHARACTERIZATION

6. Are dialogue and mannerisms 6. Are dialogue and mannerisms utilized to reveal each character’s utilized to reveal each character’s persona?persona?

7. Does the antagonist fulfill the roll 7. Does the antagonist fulfill the roll set out by the author? What makes set out by the author? What makes him/her/it unique—not a him/her/it unique—not a stereotypical villain?stereotypical villain?

SCENE STRUCTURESCENE STRUCTURE

1. Does each scene portray the viewpoint 1. Does each scene portray the viewpoint character’s goal—one that is attainable?character’s goal—one that is attainable?

2. Does each scene introduce and develop 2. Does each scene introduce and develop conflict?conflict?

3. How is conflict resolved—prematurely—3. How is conflict resolved—prematurely—completely—partially?completely—partially?

4. Does each scene end with a tactical 4. Does each scene end with a tactical failure that motivates the reader to failure that motivates the reader to determine how the viewpoint character determine how the viewpoint character handles the situation?handles the situation?

SCENE STRUCTURESCENE STRUCTURE

5. Are transitions and sequels 5. Are transitions and sequels properly utilized to give scenes properly utilized to give scenes continuity?continuity?

NARRATIONNARRATION

1. Is foreshadowing utilized to get 1. Is foreshadowing utilized to get the narrative off and running?the narrative off and running?

2. Is the story built on scenes? Do 2. Is the story built on scenes? Do they generate tension—resolve they generate tension—resolve some, leave a remnant at the end of some, leave a remnant at the end of each scene?each scene?

3. Do transitions and sequels tie 3. Do transitions and sequels tie scenes together?scenes together?

POINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEW

1. Does the scene remain in one 1. Does the scene remain in one character’s point of view?character’s point of view?

2. If the story begins in first person 2. If the story begins in first person or third person limited or omniscient, or third person limited or omniscient, the point of view should generally the point of view should generally remain consistent.remain consistent.

POINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEW

3. A short story should stay in the 3. A short story should stay in the same point of view throughout; same point of view throughout; however, this isn’t always possible. however, this isn’t always possible. A scene-break should be used to A scene-break should be used to change the point of view character. change the point of view character. These shifts should readily identify These shifts should readily identify the point of view character.the point of view character.

POINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEW

4. In third person, the story should 4. In third person, the story should remain in either omniscient or limited remain in either omniscient or limited point of view.point of view.

5. Does the reader experience only 5. Does the reader experience only those of the third-person-limited those of the third-person-limited point of view character—all other point of view character—all other characters’ being revealed through characters’ being revealed through their dialogue, mannerisms and their dialogue, mannerisms and actions?actions?

DIALOGUEDIALOGUE

1. Is there excessive profanity, 1. Is there excessive profanity, timeworn clichés, or difficult to read timeworn clichés, or difficult to read dialect?dialect?

2. Do characters speak like real 2. Do characters speak like real people? Dialogue must be realistic.people? Dialogue must be realistic.

3. Is dialogue used to convey 3. Is dialogue used to convey information that is not germane to the information that is not germane to the situation?situation?

4. Is there an overuse of attributions?4. Is there an overuse of attributions?

DIALOGUEDIALOGUE

5. Is there an excessive or 5. Is there an excessive or inadequate use of dialogue?inadequate use of dialogue?

6. Is dialogue augmented by 6. Is dialogue augmented by beatsbeats (gestures, mannerisms and actions) (gestures, mannerisms and actions) that convey characterization and that convey characterization and realism?realism?

OTHER ASPECTS OF STORY OTHER ASPECTS OF STORY TELLINGTELLING

1. Write about what you know.1. Write about what you know. 2. Research is vital. Walk where 2. Research is vital. Walk where

your characters walk.your characters walk. 3. Show, don’t tell. Try to avoid 3. Show, don’t tell. Try to avoid

passive voice.passive voice.

PUNCTUATIONPUNCTUATION

1. Search for comma faults and 1. Search for comma faults and excessive use of semicolons.excessive use of semicolons.

2. Reading the work aloud is an 2. Reading the work aloud is an excellent means of determining excellent means of determining comma usage.comma usage.

3. Questioning sentences require 3. Questioning sentences require question marks.question marks.

4. Are there missing punctuation 4. Are there missing punctuation marks?marks?

PUNCTUATIONPUNCTUATION

5. Changes in punctuation can occur 5. Changes in punctuation can occur during rewrites—so, look for these.during rewrites—so, look for these.

6. Enclose all direct quotations with 6. Enclose all direct quotations with quotation marks. Commas and the quotation marks. Commas and the period are always enclosed within period are always enclosed within quotation marks.quotation marks.

PUNCTUATIONPUNCTUATION

7. The colon and semicolon are never 7. The colon and semicolon are never enclosed with quotation marks. The enclosed with quotation marks. The dash, question mark, and exclamation dash, question mark, and exclamation mark are enclosed within quotation mark are enclosed within quotation marks if they apply to the quoted marks if they apply to the quoted material. They are placed after the material. They are placed after the quotation marks if they apply to the quotation marks if they apply to the whole sentence. “Am I going too?” she whole sentence. “Am I going too?” she asked. Did she say, “I am going too”?asked. Did she say, “I am going too”?

PUNCTUATIONPUNCTUATION

8. Are there excessive uses of the 8. Are there excessive uses of the exclamation mark? Don’t rely on it exclamation mark? Don’t rely on it to denote emphasis—make the mark to denote emphasis—make the mark fit the statement or exclamation.fit the statement or exclamation.

CAPITALIZATIONCAPITALIZATION

1. Search for inappropriate or the 1. Search for inappropriate or the lack of proper capitalization. Refer to lack of proper capitalization. Refer to guidelines if necessary.guidelines if necessary.

SPELLINGSPELLING

1. Use your spellchecker often. Care 1. Use your spellchecker often. Care has to be taken in ferreting out misuse has to be taken in ferreting out misuse of similar wards, e.g., Their and there; of similar wards, e.g., Their and there; its and it’s; to, two and too.its and it’s; to, two and too.

2. Spellcheckers do not highlight 2. Spellcheckers do not highlight misused words if they are spelled misused words if they are spelled correctly.correctly.

3. When in doubt, consult your 3. When in doubt, consult your dictionary.dictionary.

SENTENCE STRUCTURESENTENCE STRUCTURE

1. Search for sentences that are 1. Search for sentences that are ambiguous and lack clarity.ambiguous and lack clarity.

2. Reading aloud is the better 2. Reading aloud is the better method for discovering these flukes.method for discovering these flukes.

3. Are sentences easy to read or do 3. Are sentences easy to read or do they tend to be too lengthy? Long they tend to be too lengthy? Long sentences can usually be broken sentences can usually be broken down into two or more sentences. down into two or more sentences. Shorter sentences pick up the pace Shorter sentences pick up the pace for the reader.for the reader.

SUBJECT AND VERB SUBJECT AND VERB AGREEMENTAGREEMENT

1. Search for dangling participles. 1. Search for dangling participles. “When discussing race and gender, “When discussing race and gender, sensitivity is necessary.” sensitivity is necessary.” Here the Here the subject is sensitivity, but the subject is sensitivity, but the sensitivity is not doing the discussing. sensitivity is not doing the discussing. Better is Better is “When discussing race and “When discussing race and gender, one should be sensitive.”gender, one should be sensitive.”

SUBJECT AND VERB SUBJECT AND VERB AGREEMENTAGREEMENT

2. Not all words in –ing are participles: 2. Not all words in –ing are participles: in the sentence in the sentence “Answering the “Answering the questions in chapter four is your next questions in chapter four is your next assignment,” assignment,” the word answering is the word answering is used as a noun, not a verb. (Nouns in used as a noun, not a verb. (Nouns in –ing are called gerunds.)–ing are called gerunds.)

3. Look for passive voice. Convert to 3. Look for passive voice. Convert to active voice when possible. Passive active voice when possible. Passive Voice=Voice=something is done. something is done. Active Active VoiceVoice=something does something.=something does something.

PROPER WORD USEPROPER WORD USE

1. Keep it simple. Don’t mimic George Will 1. Keep it simple. Don’t mimic George Will by using proper but uncommon words. by using proper but uncommon words. Leave the elaborate words to writers of Leave the elaborate words to writers of scholarly works.scholarly works.

2. If the word fits the situation, use it. A 2. If the word fits the situation, use it. A rural-setting character probably would say rural-setting character probably would say “tater” or “spud” instead of potato. “tater” or “spud” instead of potato. Remember that dialogue can violate many Remember that dialogue can violate many rules of use as long as it reflects the nature rules of use as long as it reflects the nature of the character, the locale, the situation.of the character, the locale, the situation.

PROPER WORD USEPROPER WORD USE

3. It’s okay to misuse words in 3. It’s okay to misuse words in special circumstances—just make special circumstances—just make sure you know what is correct before sure you know what is correct before you do it; otherwise, you will repeat you do it; otherwise, you will repeat the error in an inappropriate manner.the error in an inappropriate manner.

CLARITY AND FLOWCLARITY AND FLOW

1. Look for hurdles such as 1. Look for hurdles such as inappropriate flashbacks and inappropriate flashbacks and misplaced background information that misplaced background information that needs to be removed or rewritten.needs to be removed or rewritten.

2. Determine whether scenes flow 2. Determine whether scenes flow smoothly. Do any of them need to be smoothly. Do any of them need to be tied together with transitions and/or tied together with transitions and/or sequels?sequels?

3. Look for variances—changed names 3. Look for variances—changed names and characteristics of characters and and characteristics of characters and places.places.

REDUNDANCIES AND REDUNDANCIES AND INCONSISTENCIESINCONSISTENCIES

1. Search for repetitions, inconsistent 1. Search for repetitions, inconsistent facts, and also information the reader facts, and also information the reader doesn’t need to know. Delete doesn’t need to know. Delete unnecessary sentences, paragraphs, unnecessary sentences, paragraphs, scenes and chapters that add too scenes and chapters that add too much much fatfat to the story. Keep it LEAN to the story. Keep it LEAN AND CLEAN.AND CLEAN.

FORMATFORMAT

1. Make certain the manuscript is in 1. Make certain the manuscript is in a format most agents, editors and a format most agents, editors and publishers want.publishers want.