FRIDAY, 9.25 AND MONDAY 9.28

TODAY’S AGENDA

o Punctuating Dialogue o Do Now: Writing Snapshoto Example openingso Brainstorm Handout

LOOKING FORWARD…

Due Tuesday, 9.28 (A) and Monday, 9.28 (B)o Brainstorm handout

DIALOGUE

o Including dialogue in your memoir can be an effective way to provide insight into who you are and how you speak.

o Consider incorporating even a small amount of dialogue somewhere in your memoir.

DO NOW: WRITING SNAPSHOT

On the next clean page in your RAW book, write and complete the following sentence stem . . .

The most important person in my life is . . .

Now many students would begin an essay with that statement and would bore their reader from sentence one. Instead, write a snapshot of that person and END your response with the sentence stem.

SAMPLE SNAPSHOT MOMENT

My favorite day of the week is . .What details did he provide to provide a ‘snapshot’ of his favorite day?

Favorite Day

NOW BACK TO YOUR IMPORTANT PERSON . . .

Think about:how you would physically describe the person (hair color, complexion, body type, smells associated with the person, the sound of the person’s voice, etc.)

how you would describe the person’s demeanor and personality.

Now finish your thought with the sentence “The most important person in my life is . . . “

BOLD BEGINNINGS… First sentence of a memoir… One Sunny day I went to the beach and saw a mermaid.

What is lacking here? How could it be improved?

INSTEAD OF “ONE SUNNY DAY I WENT TO THE BEACH AND SAW A MERMAID,” TRY:

ACTION I dove into the ocean, kicked my feet in the cool water, stood up, and wiped the water from my face. I paused. Something strange near the rock caught my eye.

DIALOGUE “What a great day for the beach!” I yelled as I frolicked in the waves.

A THOUGHT, A QUESTION, OR FEELING(If you were at the beach, what might you be thinking or feeling?)

If only I could swim out to that sandlot, I thought. There’s something very strange out there. Something I’ve never seen here at the beach before.

A SOUND EFFECT Kersplash! The waves crashed over me as I stood staring at the strange sight out on the jetty.

INSTEAD OF “THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE IS ---” TRY STARTING WITH…ACTION

DIALOGUE

A THOUGHT, A QUESTION, OR FEELING

A SOUND EFFECT

FIRST SENTENCES

Read all of the following sentences and choose two that seem most effective.

What do you think the narrative is about based on this sentence?

Why is it engaging to the reader?

FIRST SENTENCES FROM STUDENT SAMPLES . . .

1. I awoke to someone shaking my arm. 2. Here I am in the god-awful green and white daisy print shorts; butterflies swarm in my stomach. 3. The glare on the floor in the entryway is blinding. 4. I can still feel my cold and sweaty hand clutched in my mom’s hand with no intention of letting go. 5. The constant squeaking from my shoes definitely didn’t let me forget the walk.

SETTING DETAILS

Consider an opener that walks me to the setting. Start outside the setting and walk (or drive) me to the place. What will I see?

“From the center of downtown Tucson the ground slopes gently away to Main Street, drops a few feet, and then rolls to the banks of the Santa Cruz River. Here lies the section of the city known as El Hoyo.”

From the vicinity of the stairwell a faint cry of agony can be heard. It gains volume and intensity as you shove past the confused freshmen to approach the third floor. Once you reach the top of the stairs, where students wander aimlessly, the scream is unbearable as you arrive at room 321. Here you find bodies tortured, students groaning in despair, for this is the section of the school known as English Hell.

CHARACTER DESCRIPTION: PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS Try imitating the sample:

“Her walk is slow, hesitant, leaning slightly forward from the waist. Her hands, swollen and misshapen with arthritis, have traceries of blue veins across the back. They are never still.”

Her voice is harsh, ugly, cutting into her students. Her throat, swollen and misshapen with overuse, tires from the frequent yelling. It is forever scarred.

OPENING STRATEGIES:STARTLING STATEMENTTry beginning with a short, intriguing

statement that needs further explanation.

“I don’t talk on Sundays. I haven’t in more than three years.”

“I have a gun, a .38 caliber that holds five bullets. It is black with a brown handle and it stays by my bed. I don’t want a gun. I don’t even like guns. But it seems I need one.”

Try your own example. Think of a surprising statement related to your narrative.

NARRATIVE STRUCTURE

Chronological Order or Flashback? Do you want to start with the beginning of the incident and slowly work your way forward to present day?When I was fourteen…

Do you want to begin with a description of the situation now and flashback to the significant moment? I look at her now as she…. But our relationship wasn’t always so wonderful….

My a1 day1