Essay feedback lecture

Troubles of Youth

What are we going to cover?

• What does a good essay look like?– Style/presentation– Referencing– Structure– Content

• Critical thinking• The specific questions

Marking guide

Based partly on Roberts, A., Burford, C. And Mew, S. (undated) Essay Marking Guide http://www.mdx.ac.uk/WWW/STUDY/MarkGuid.htm

1st 70% + Everything for a 2.1 plus originality

65% - 69%

Everything for a 2.2 plus an argument that is sophisticated and interesting with tight referencing to material that exceeds the required reading.

 2.160% - 64%

Everything for a 2.2 and a clear argument throughout the essay supported by tight referencing to the required sources.

55% - 59%

Good understanding of subject & question. More descriptive than critical. A well organised essay (clear structure, good introduction, maintains focus throughout).

 2.250% - 54%

Good understanding of question & reasonable understanding of subject. Includes required sources. Some weaknesses in focus or structure.

45% - 49%

Reasonable understanding of the question and subject. Very limited references. Weak structure and/or poor English

 3rd40% - 44%

Only limited understanding of the question and the subject. Very limited references. Weak structure and/or poor English

Condoned fail

35% - 39%

Very limited understanding of the subject. Virtually no attempt to address the question. Very limited/non-existent references. Weak structure and/or poor English

Fail    

EFFECTIVE USE OF ENGLISH

Style/presentation

What we are looking for• Clear use of English• Good presentation

– Conventional font in a reasonable size

– Page numbers– Double spacing

Common problems• Poor use of English

made it hard to follow arguments– Poor sentence

construction– Spelling mistakes/typo's

• Not including page numbers

Sentence length

• Average sentence length of 15-20 words.

• “This does not mean making every sentence the same length. Be punchy. Vary your writing by mixing short sentences (like the last one) with longer ones (like this one), following the basic principle of sticking to one main idea in a sentence, plus perhaps one other related point.”

Plain English Campaign (2001) How To Write Reports in Plain English

STRUCTURE

Structure

What we look for• Clear introduction

demonstrating understanding of subject and question

• Sections defined clearly• Maintaining focus so that

your argument/thesis is clearly developed through the essay

Common problems• Limited introduction or

no introduction• Disjointed – lack of flow• Lack of sign-posting

What is ‘sign-posting’?

• Your essay probably has between 3 and 6 main sections.

• At the start of each section, ‘sign-post’ for the reader eg– “I will now examine the strengths of police crime

statistics . . .”– “Having described the strengths of the jury

system, this essay will now analyse the weaknesses . . .”

SOURCES AND REFERENCING

Sources and references

What we are looking for• Reference to a range of

sources (eg text books, articles, newspapers)

• Use of predominantly academic sources

• Where non-academic sources are used their limitations are recognised and they are used appropriately

• Well chosen quotes

Common problems• Insufficient references• Over reliance on one source• Not using Harvard

referencing• Not including all references

in the Bibliography• Uncritical use of sources,

particularly non-academic ones

Why is this so important?

• The use of an appropriate range of resources and their effective citation is important evidence of:

1.Your understanding of the topic2.Your ability to think critically

Selecting quotes

• Only quote when:• it is a key piece of text;• a succinct summary of an overall point; or • a piece of text that would lose its meaning if

you paraphrased it.

Harvard referencing

There is a clear distinction to be made between multi-agency working and inter-agency partnerships. The latter are distinguished by the way partnerships change the way individual agencies work and the degree of interdependence between partners (Crawford 1998: 175).

BibliographyCrawford, A. (1998) Crime Prevention and Community Safety, Longman

Referencing from edited collections

• When referencing books such as the Oxford Handbook of Criminology which are compendiums of material by a number of authors, it is not sufficient to reference them simply by the name of the editor eg Maguire et al.

• This leaves the reader unable to identify which author was responsible for the material being referenced.

• Fox, C. (2000) ‘What I Did On My Holidays’, in Ellingworth, D. The Bumper Book of Tedious Holiday Stories, London: Anyoldrubbish Publications

CRITICAL ANALYSIS

Critical analysis

What is it?• Establishing whether we

believe what we see or hear• Actually trying to find out

whether something is likely to be true

• Arguing and presenting our own case and convincing others to accept our point of view

Indications• Identifiable and dependent

steps in an argument• Statements are supported

by evidence (theories or research findings)

• Strengths and weaknesses of theories and research are discussed

Poor critical analysis

• Broad/generalising/sweeping statements which are not clearly supported by evidence

• Limited referencing or a narrow range of sources

• Poor choice of sources (eg Wikipedia) or a failure to identify the potential bias or limitations of a source

Essay questions: 1st essay1. To what extent are young people’s lives affected by ‘risk aversion’, and

what are the effects of this?2. How useful is the concept of ‘gangs’ to explaining young people’s

deviance?3. What significance should be placed on economic and political shifts

since 1980 in understanding the experiences of young people?4. How can an understanding of the age-crime curve inform appropriate

ways of responding to young offenders?5. What are the important differences in the experience of young women

and young men?6. Critically assess the links drawn between parenting and youth deviance.7. Why do youth justice professionals argue for a reduction in the use of

incarceration for young people, and why has this been unsuccessful?

Question When it was done well When it was done poorly

1. To what extent are young people’s lives affected by ‘risk aversion’, and what are the effects of this?

Good definition of risk aversion Recognised the distinction between risk factors

and risk aversion, but addressed the links between them

Considered aspects associated with different areas: e.g. parenting, schools, criminal justice

Considered the theory critically

Focussed on just risk factors

Little empirical evidence of trends

2. How useful is the concept of ‘gangs’ to explaining young people’s deviance?

Recognised the contested nature of the term 'gang', and the range of definitions used

Considered both objective aspects (causal links), and subjective meanings

Recognised that 'gangs' and 'young people's deviance' are two separate phenomena

Engaged with contemporary literature eg Pitts for an up-to-date view and Morash to challenge the ‘classic’ studies

Adopted a simple, single definition of the term 'gangs'

Relied on just 'classic' studies, and/or popular media output

Didn't use the articles provided through the Wiki

3. What significance should be placed on economic and political shifts since 1980 in understanding the experiences of young people?

Detailed consideration of area Focussed on a particular issue (e.g. criminal

justice policy)

(Nothing specific to note)

5. What are the important differences in the experience of young women and young men?

Identified one or two areas to consider in detail

Achieved a balance between empirical and theoretical material

Failed to talk specifically about the experience of young people

Or failed to draw out the gender aspect

Little empirical material6. Critically assess the

links drawn between parenting and youth deviance.

'Unpacked' the term parenting, and considered family structure, parenting style (e.g. discipline, attachment) separately (poss. also affluence/deprivation, and genetic links)

Recognised the 'scapegoating' of parents as an 'easy target' in the media, and as a target for intervention by the government

Engaged with relevant research evidence

Saw problematic parenting as simply 'single parenthood'

Used terminology such as the 'broken home' or 'dysfunctional family' uncritically

Assumed links between single parenthood and youth deviance without evidence

Didn't use the articles provided through the Wiki

7. Why do youth justice professionals argue for a reduction in the use of incarceration for young people, and why has this been unsuccessful?

Considered the level, trends in youth incarceration (how much, how is it used, what forms does it take);

Discussed a number of arguments against its use (eg high rates of recidivism, quality of rehabilitative work, cost);

Identified reasons for its continued use (e.g demonisation of youth; lack of faith in alternatives; sentencing policies)

Didn't discuss (one or more of) uses youth incarceration; arguments against its use; and reasons for its continued use