Why a good marriage works:

Why a good marriage works:

• Difficult for me - personal• Students remember this more than any other

presentation• “Thank you – I have never seen what a good

marriage is like”

Symbols of love & the marriage are important

• The rose• Rings

The story of the rose

Rose story

• In our house today..• We met in church…• Parents’ rose bush• 1st. Date – Suit of armor – Head on shoulder• Every week … every month … once a month• Daddy, can I get Mommy’s rose?• Sent rose FTD• One son tried it…

Rings

• 10 year ring• 25 year ring• 40 year ring – Custom made– At the Acropolis in Athens Greece– Rose gold– 40 pink diamonds– Ruby for each childAbout 50 stones – too heavy

History

• Together every day since we were teenagers• Her memories are my memories– Travel - Taj Mahal, Pyramids, Golden Pagota,

Acropolis, Tower of London, Red square, Myan Pramids of Chetznetsia, Eifel tower, Great wall…

• Movies

Marry someone like yourself

• Homogamy = Like marries like– Age, Race, Religion, Education social class = similar

attitudes etc.– Personalities

• Both quiet• We never asks for anything – No “To do” lists• I always spend money on her – never myself

– Clothes - vase

• Heterogamy = Opposites attract– Wants to be taken care of & want to care for– Both needy & both dominate doesn’t work

Make the other person feel important

• Good night – love you – I know… love you to• Good morning – how are you feeling?• Waving good-by• How can I help you?• Fight the world, but never each other

Experiences create intimacy and bonding• Births – 1st. Child – 2nd child – 3rs. child• Deaths – Parents - sister• Surgeries – She had– Breast Cancer – right side – left side– Tubal legation– Gaul bladder– Hysterectomy– Breast reduction– Carpel tunnel surgery– Knee surgery

• My detached retina surgery

Other important items:

• Body & stable personality– Overweight– Diabetes– Sleep aptnea (trouble breathing)– Depression (chemical)– Knees hurt– Back hurts– Shoulder hurts

• Honesty - Never lied• Trust– Red ball• Communication – Santa Ana park• Criticism – Any fool

Other important items:

• Find out what the other person wants and help them get it.– Preschool– Time by themselves or others

• “Go with the flow”– Willow tree bends and does not break

Dealing with differences

• Accept the other person as they are– Don’t try to change them– Exception = Drugs, alcohol, emotional or physical

abuse, anything that reduces your respect for yourself – just leave

• Messy vs. neat• T.V. & reading