Vince WalshApril 13, 1935 – August 28, 2012

Vincent Patrick Walsh (1935-2012)

Obituary, SF Gate August 28, 2012

Peacefully at home on August 28, 2012. Dearly beloved husband of Dorothy Conley for 46 years; beloved father of Brendan (Lisa), Patrick (Jeannine), Maura (Mariano), Brigid (Justin), Kathleen (Ian), Olivia, Dorothea (Matthew), Fiona, and Vincent; Adoring grandfather to Sophia Louise, Jack Louis, Fiona Grace, Aidan Vincent, Declan Vincent, Colleen Walsh, Brendan Mariano, Sean Oliver, Griffin Mateo, Liam Patrick; Dear Brother of Marion Carozzi, Geraldine Doherty, Carmel Tickler and preceded in death by Matt, Louis, Sr. Angela, Imelda Gallagher, Fr. Oliver, and Desmond; devoted uncle to 19, mentor to scores and friend to multitudes.

Vincent left his native village of Cloonagh, County Sligo, Ireland, in 1952 at age 17 to work in England and, like many of the young people at that time, sent his wages home. He then went to Chicago where he studied engineering, sold vacuums, and taught ballroom dancing for Arthur Murray. He finally settled into the construction business only to be drafted into the Army where he served overseas as a medic and morale liaison. He then joined his brother, Louis, in Colorado where he helped start The Irish Fellowship Club and co-founded the St. Patrick's Day Parade of Denver. It was here where he met Dorothy Conley on a blind date when she stopped on her cross country trip to San Francisco. Three years later Vince also arrived in San Francisco, where he and Dorothy married in 1966.

Vince had a gift for building things, be it organizations, houses or relationships. In a life as varied and rich as is possible, he built homes across the city, graduated from Lincoln University Law School, owned and operated the Rio Nido Lodge resort for 18 years, was the first president of the Residential Builders Association, helped build the United Irish Cultural Center, sang in the Irish Choral Society, founded the California Bar Preparation Course, published Law Review textbooks, worked for Powerscreen, sold insurance for Walsh Carter, and was a consultant for Apple Tree Communications. During all of these endeavors, he continued to work as a general contractor and still never missed his breakfast discussions at seven every morning at M's or Howard's. Vince was a man of great faith and a devout member of St. Anne's parish. Whether teaching typing when he couldn't type or climbing mountains in Peru in his loafers; he was afraid of nothing. He did all this while raising nine spirited, some say unruly, children. Life with Vince was never dull, never boring, always filled with love, jokes, stories and songs. His children all agree that they are the luckiest children on earth. He was the best.

Friends may call after 5 p.m. Tuesday at St. Anne of the Sunset, 850 Judah Street, Rosary at 7 p.m. and are invited to attend the Funeral mass at 11 a.m. Wednesday also at St. Anne's, followed by Committal at Holy Cross Cemetery.

The Walsh Family wishes to acknowledge the wonderful people who have supported us in so many ways over the last three years, including the many caring nurses and doctors who made Vince's last years not only possible but worth living. For the past few years, Vince and his family and friends proudly participated in the Light the Night Walk as the "Vince Walsh Chemo Sabes" to raise money for blood cancer research. With this in mind, in lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Greater SF/Bay Area Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in Vince's name or donations of blood may be made to the UCSF Blood Bank in his memory.

Vince and Dorothy Walsh

Brendan and Lisa

Walsh

Sophia Walsh

Aidan Walsh

Patrick and

Jeannine Walsh

Jack Walsh

Maura and Mariano Ochoa

Declan Ochoa

Brendan Ochoa

Griffin Ochoa

Brigid and Justin Lyons

Kathleen and Ian

Macdonald

Fiona Macdonald

Colleen Macdonald

Sean Macdonald

Olivia Walsh

Dorothea and Matt Kennedy

Liam Kennedy

Fiona Walsh

Vinny Walsh

Margaret and

Thomas Walsh

Matt Walsh Marion Carozzi

Louis Walsh

Sister Angela Walsh

Imelda Gallagher

Father Oliver Walsh

Vince Walsh

Geraldine Doherty

Desmond Walsh

Carmel Tickler

Wake for Vince Walsh

September 4, 2012 From 5pm at St. Anne’s Church

850 Judah StreetRosary at 7pm

Leading the rosary will be Father Reyes and Monsignor Arcamo.

Receiving Line:

Dorothy Walsh - WifeBrendan Walsh - SonPatrick Walsh - Son

Maura Ochoa - DaughterBrigid Lyons - DaughterKathleen Macdonald -

DaughterOlivia Walsh - Daughter

Dorothea Kennedy - Daughter

Fiona Walsh - DaughterVinny Walsh - Son

Carmel Tickler - SisterGeraldine Doherty - Sister

Memories of Vince: Angela Tickler

In the pictures here tonight, you can see the many faces of Vince. He was many things to many people, but to me and many nephews and nieces he was our beloved, funny Uncle Vince and in recent years he titled himself SUV to me. It was fun because you could sub in pretty much any S word that made sense at the time: sassy, smart, silly, and he enjoyed evolving it or leaving messages:  "Angie Pangie! SUV! Call me!". So, I'd call and he'd present his latest fashion-world-changing idea. My brother Barry and I did concoct one of his ideas for him for his birthday. Vince's idea was jeans with interchangeable message pockets, and his first iteration was feel on one pocket, and free on the other - to be arranged according to one's situation, as he laughingly phrased. I like this story because, to me, Uncle Vince always felt free and encouraged others to feel free as well: to be themselves, change themselves or their situation, to overcome a fear, or try something they always wanted to do. Occasionally, it wasn't something you wanted to do at all, and for me that was singing at our family Thanksgiving because that's a big crowd, and there are a lot of terrific singers in it. Years ago, Auntie Ann and I countered Vince's urging us  to sing and participate by singing the ABCs, and Vince was mildly annoyed and yet had great admiration for the fact that we skirted by him on a technicality. Then I sang a four line song I wrote for him two years ago to try to get myself off the hook, only this time I found myself in a gentle but inescapable Vince headlock and had to stand up there singing with him for another full song or two...I found out it wasn't that bad, which I know is exactly what he wanted me to figure out. Uncle Vince cared far more that you tried in your own way and participated, than that you succeeded in the conventional sense. Trying was success for him, as he showed us all with his valiant battle against leukemia. When we formed the Vince Walsh Chemo Sabes team to walk the LLS Light the Night Walk fundraiser, Vince came up with the team slogan, and sure enough, it was one of his favorite puns: One Tough Ane-Mick. And he proved it to all of us and himself, astonishing family, friends, and doctors with his quiet strength and resilience for almost three years. He fought very hard, and he had a lot of support from many, many of you.

When we were kids, Vince used to drive us up to the Russian River in the El Camino, girls in the cab and boys toughing it out in the truck bed. He would sing to us almost all the way up there but the song I remember best and will always associate with him is Red River Valley by Marty Robbins:

From this valley they say you are leaving

We shall miss your bright eyes and sweet smile

For you take with you all of the sunshine

That has brightened our pathway awhile

So, come sit by my side if you love me

Do not hasten to bid me adieu

Just remember the Red River Valley and the cowboy that loved you so true.

I think those lyrics are a wonderful description of his incredible fight to not bid us adieu, our sadness at his leaving our valley for another, and how so many, many of you came to sit by his side throughout his battle and passing because you loved him. We love you Uncle Vince, and we will miss your wise counsel, encouragement to feel free, soft heart, strong beliefs, beautiful dancing, your singing and the laughter you gave us.

Memories of Vince: Carmel Walsh Tickler

In Ireland, in the 1950s, when Vince was 14, very few boys got to go to high school. My parents were determined that their children would be educated, to have a better life. When it was Vince’s turn, there were 3 other siblings in boarding school and they told him that he would go the next year when one had graduated. He stayed at home and helped my father with the land. At age 18 years, after 9 months in construction in England, he joined his 2 older brothers in Chicago in 1953. He enrolled in Chicago Vocation College for drafting, blue print reading, carpentry and general construction skills. By 1956, he had his own construction company, and when it was running successfully, he enrolled in the Chicago Technical College. At that time, one year short of graduating, he was drafted into the U.S. Army and served proudly in Germany as a medic.

He signed over his army pay- not half of it, but all of it – to our mother and as a result, had to earn some money to live on. He had 3 jobs at times, as well as his military duties. That was when he taught typing at night on the base. He said, “I just had to keep one lesson ahead of the class”.

Vince believed in being active himself and in getting family members involved as well. He and my brother Louis and some friends purchased 100 acres of land and a lake and co-founded the “Emerald Athletic Club” which is in suburban Chicago. When our father died in Ireland in 1957, it was the Irish custom to be in mourning for a whole year. Immediate family members did not attend movies or dances during that year. Vince and his 3 siblings living in Chicago, and other friends founded their “Tara Dramatic Group”. They built and painted the set, moved their apartment furniture in and out every weekend, produced, directed and acted in a well-known Irish play. By the end of that year, any proceeds from the sold out theatres was donated to charity in our father’s name. Vince was an excellent actor. He told me that project was one of his most enjoyable experiences.  

Vince loved good discussions and on arriving in Chicago in 1958, I discovered that the “Encyclopedia Britannica” stacked 6 or 8 books high was a regular scene at our dinner table to solve the many questions raised. That later became the basis for the round table breakfast club at Howards or M’s for the last 30 years.

Vince was very close to his nine brothers and sisters and in our lifetime, there was never a time when one of us was not speaking to the other. Unconditional love and respect did not mean it was uncritical. Vince cared too much not to tell you what he thought.

He never used unacceptable language if he got agitated or frustrated in any situation. In family discussions, if he was really trying to make his point, he would raise his arms half-way and say “for the love of God”. That was your cue to re-examine your opinion on the subject!! What kind of comeback comment could you have to THAT??

Like everyone, Vince wanted to do well - but it was more important to him to do “good”. Long before networking became popular, Vince was putting people and jobs or housing or clothing together. Strangers he spoke to on the street would receive the same level of effort from him as if it was his good friend. Helping people was as much a part of him as breathing. He helped many craftsmen start their own businesses. He put them to work for him at “Walsh Construction” which operated in San Francisco for 40 years. It they were hard working and diligent, he encouraged them to start their own businesses and he would sub-contract to them and spread the word to his contracting friends to work with them until they got on their feet. Then he would do the same for the next one who he thought deserved it.

One of the things that he was most proud of was his being a Co-Founder in “United for Life”. In the very early seventies, he met Professor Frank Filice (now Fr. Frank Filice) who was struggling to get the movement started. Vince brought in many workers and worked tirelessly himself to gain new members. He involved the Irish Community and had his contractor friends buy tables at the fundraising dinners. He has continually promoted and supported United for Life goals from its inception to his death.

Vince was larger than life. He was a devoted son and a wonderful brother. He cherished his wife Dorothy and his children and extended family. I want to thank Dorothy on behalf of my siblings, living and deceased, for her unconditional support of Vince, not only in these last 3 difficult years, but down through the 46 years of their marriage. He presented many projects and challenges to her and even when she disagreed with a project, if it went forward, she backed him up totally, which meant a whole lot of work for her. In the last 3 years, she cooked tirelessly all the organic foods, including green vegetables every day, even though he hated them, in hopes that it would prolong his life or even cure him. She developed nursing skills and great patience and gave the struggle everything she had. All the family rose to the challenge in extraordinary ways, but it seems fitting to mention especially young Vincent who lived in the house and shared the care of Vince on a daily basis. Nothing was too much for him to do for his Dad. Vince was a lucky man, he had a wonderful life and a wonderful death.

He taught us how to live life fully and how to face death with faith, courage, grace and dignity. He will be greatly missed.

Memories of Vince: Olivia Walsh

I could speak a hundred languages and still not be able to express what I would like to say about my father… How do you write about how much you will miss your dad, friend, hero and the greatest man you’ll ever know? There are no words that will do justice to him or his huge heart and great mind.

We were blessed with the gift of amazing parents… strong, giving and very loving… We have been saying all week how Dad was the most loved man on the planet, and he was… because he was the most LOVING man on the planet. He took an interest in everyone and everything. He genuinely cared for each person he met. When that man asked, “How are you doing?”, he really wanted to know… and he would remember what you told him,. And if he could help in any way; with some sound advice, a crazy idea, a joke, a smile a story or a song, he would.

He helped a kid from the corner store learn to read, he showed quite a few others how to stay out of trouble. Still others, he helped decide to go back to school, or he got them their first job… He helped as many people as he possibly could, and he loved many more.

His being SO loving is why the meter maid sent him breakfast, why his nurses would sing to him, why the plumber was moved to tears… it’s why he had not only 9 children, but 900, a million friends and was Uncle Vince to the whole world.

And he loved life! His heaven really was his life; his family and his friends… he loved us all in his genuine and generous way. Whenever I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he would say “Just to have all my kids home”…well, that or “SOCKS”.

You’ve all heard, (probably a thousand times), the story of Dad in Barcelona…The one where the 400 bagpipers didn’t show up for the parade… Well, what he didn’t tell you is how, when we realized that they weren’t coming, and I looked at him, lip trembling, and asked “Papa, what am I gonna do?”… He let me shed one tear, then he wiped it away and said, “The only way to get through things like this is to go through them, but I will be right here with you Oli-O” …Papa you always were and you always will be….

He used to always quote St. Catherine to me “Be what God intended you to be, and you will set the world on fire!” A man with an epic memory, infinite tales, innumerable jokes, unselfish love and the sharpest of minds… DAD was what God intended, HE set the world on fire…

A couple of weeks ago, I was in a moment of tremendous grief and thought to myself how sad it was to watch that fire, the brightest light I have ever seen, flicker and then dim…. But I realize now, that it will never go out, he will never be gone because of all the things he shared with us.So, whenever someone new joins the breakfast club, or one of his grandchildren give a “hug, a kiss and a boo”, whenever someone sings Tura lura lura, or tells one of his thousands of jokes… Whenever we do what he so whole-heartedly asked of us, which was to “Love one another as I have loved you” .. It is him………….he is right here with us.

I could speak a hundred languages and still not find the right words, so for now, I will simply share what a dear friend said in Gaelic, (Nee-VI-a-LEhid_areessh-on) –“ Ni beidhh a leithid aris ann.”, WE WILL NEVER SEE HIS KIND AGAIN…

Memories of Vince Walsh: Maura Walsh Ochoa

Farewell and Invitation to an Irish Tea by Dorothy Walsh

Where was Vince singing Let There Be Peace on Earth this last week at the house when I needed him?

I made a list of all the wonderful people who have helped us so much these last few years. The list was very long, 5 pages on Excel. Brendan asked me for the list so he could thank everyone too. However due to a "senior moment" or a computer glitz you might be happy to know I lost it.

Now, thanks to my good friends here at St. Anne's, I invite all of you downstairs to a proper Irish tea.

The family will stay here to greet any of you that would like to pay your respects. 

Funeral Mass for Vincent Patrick Walsh

September 5, 2012 11:00 am at St. Anne’s Church

850 Judah Street

Celebrant: Father Reyes, Pastor St. Anne’s Church

Co-Celebrants: Father McGuire, Father Seagrave, Father Filice, Monsignor Arcamo,

Monsignor Pernia, Father Mazza, Father Orimaco, Father Chang

Celebrants on the Altar at the Funeral:

Father Reyes, Pastor - St. Anne’s Church

Father McGuire

Father Seagrave

Father Filice

Monsignor Arcamo

Monsignor Pernia

Father Mazza

Father Orimaco

Father Chang

Altar Servers: Roddy Marshall, Finn Marshall and Anne

First Reading: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11

Read by Brigid Walsh Lyons

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing ;

A time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their heart, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

Responsorial Psalm, Psalm 23 A Psalm of David

Read by Grace Bowen and Heather Walsh

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul; he leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Second Reading, 1 John 4:7-12

Read by Deirdre Gallagher

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us and His love has been perfected in us.

Gospel Matthew 5:1-12

Read by Father Ray Reyes

And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him.

Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

 Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

 Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Father Ray Reyes: Eulogy

Seventy seven years ago, Vince was brought inside a church in Ireland by his parents for the first time to be baptized. There and then he was bathed with the Baptismal water and dressed with a white garment to signify the new life he received from God.

Today we bless Vince’s body for the last time with this same water and put this white cloth over his casket to remind us again of the dignity he was shared with as God’s beloved son. And that even in death Vince is still embraced and given the promise of eternal life by our loving God.

With my brother priests here on the altar, with the Parishioners and School Community of St. Anne’s, with Dorothy, her children and their families, we welcome you all to this sacred celebration of Vince’s life. He has been a faithful son, a brother, a spouse, a father, a relative, a friend, a true Irish man and most of all, God’s beloved son. Because he was a believer, we anticipate God’s gift and promise of eternal life on his behalf.

Reflection:An Irish saying from an unknown author goes, “Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely and forgive quickly.” We do hear a lot of people say, “Life is too short.” This saying may be especially true for those with a lingering illness. Life may be shorter for them than those who are healthy. But whatever moment we find ourselves in, there is one truth that we can all agree on: you and I are born in time. Time is not eternal in a sense that every second, minute or hour that ticks by passes on and goes away forever. We can’t freeze time. Time often lapses. It expires. And such is God’s gift of life that is born in time. Our gift from God is bound by time and will expire.

In spite of time and life’s elusive element, we pick up a great lesson from the readings chosen by Vince’s family for his funeral mass. The first reading proclaims that God appoints the times and seasons, the events of our lives, the happy and the sad, the easy and difficult. On one hand, this can bring worry, doubts and pains but on the other hand, it should bring hope because we know that our God is in control. God is in control of everything and anything, yes, even the day of our death. Sometimes we may wonder about that. It is easy to doubt that God has it all together when we look at the world around us especially at those times when it is not doing all that well: the crimes, the disasters, diseases and illness, and then the experience of separation and death. It can be pretty discouraging but God has got it all under control. He has a purpose in what He does and why He lets things happen. In God’s time, we’ll be able to understand His purpose. As St. Paul mentions in his letter to the Romans (Romans 8:28), “We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

This purpose of our being is what was proclaimed in the second reading from St. John’s letter. Only those who love are begotten by God and know God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. Seeing God is actually when we learn to love one another. This way God’s love is brought to perfection.

In the same way, the Beatitudes remind and challenge us to live not by the world’s standards but by God’s that teach us to go beyond just loving ourselves. True happiness from the Beatitudes can never be attained by having everything we want but by the amount of how much we have given and shared in others’ burdens and sorrows… by being peacemakers and agents of kindness and forgiveness.

Vince lived his whole life around this promise and purpose. He knew God was in control of his life. For the last several years of his illness, he did all he could to show to his family, friends, and even us in this parish that God appoints the times and seasons and that God has always been in control of his life. He lived and carried with him the awful and deadly disease with grace, dignity, courage and (of course) with a big Irish smile. Literally nothing, even his deteriorating health, stopped him from coming to join the community of faith, particularly the Eucharist at 7:30am, the mass he often participated in. In fact, a few weeks before he passed, he came to Mass in his chair just to participate in the Eucharist. Today we all bring his sacred remains to the altar where he received the Body and Blood of the Lord. The various priests, ministers and those who saw him in this church, in the hospital and at home knew how much he loved the Eucharist. There’s no doubt, what gave Vince the strength to overcome every challenge, especially at that most awful and painful moment, was the peace that comes from receiving the Lord in Holy Communion and the love of his family and loved ones. He felt that peace he longed for whenever he was shrouded by the Eucharist and his loved ones.

And what a beautiful way to celebrate the Eucharist at his funeral this morning by using the chalice of his priest brother, Father Oliver. This is certainly what Vince and his family would like us all to remember. The Eucharist, which strengthened him, will always be our great source of love and peace.

Dorothy, thank you for the decades of love and life you’ve shared with Vince. Thank you for keeping the love and the sacrament you have vowed to keep as long as you live, in good health and in bad. In spite of the most depressing and difficult moments during Vince’s illness, thank you for being God’s window of Love for us all. You have proven before God and us the grace and power of marriage.

A great spiritual writer and theologian once said, “The greatest sadness of life is that in the end, one finds out that he or she is not going to be a saint.”

Dorothy, you and your children and your closest family and friends helped Vince realize how much he is worth and loved by all of you. While taking turns in providing him care and company, you gave him the assurance that he has truly done a fantastic job and that he did exceptionally well. He heard it all from you what God has been telling him whenever he came for the Eucharist.

And so let us continue our celebration of the Eucharist, the meal of thanksgiving. Let us give thanks for the gift of Vince’s life. Let us also pray that what we receive here may strengthen us to be faithful followers of Jesus, who is the way, the truth and the life. When our earthly journeys are over, we too can join Vince in our heaving home.

Amen.

Prayers of the Faithful

A SONG OF PRAISE

Sung by Kathleen Walsh Macdonald

O Lord, my God, I long to sing Your praises;O Lord, my God, with songs of love and joyThe night is pastAnd now at lastI’ve found You.‘Tis I, ‘tis I, must live my life anew.Stay with me, LordAnd guide me on the journey.Into my heart, Your Spirit send each day.My heart in Christ immerse ‘til it is burningWith thoughts of thanks, adoration, prayer and praise. O Lord, my God, I long to sing Your praisesFor just being God, immortal, great and freeFor soaring farAbove this worldOf smallness,Where our small lives – compare Thy ‘mensity.All glory, honor,

Praise and adorationBe Yours always, O Universal King.And may Your Son, Lord Jesus, with His Spirit,Draw all men to Himself – in faith and love again. A song of praise I raise to You, Lord JesusA song of praise to You, I’ll always singYou’ve given Your LifeFor me,A nothing sinner,But now You rule within my heart, as King.Your tender love I deeply cherish,Your deep concernAnd special care for me.I give to You, the only thing I relishMy will – with all its longing to be free.

Words by Fr. Oliver T. WalshSung to “Danny Boy”

Memories of Vince: Fiona Walsh

Hello. I’m Fiona and I’m the eighth of my father’s nine children.

If my dad were here he might tell you that I’m “the great Fy-ona” which is what our family friend, PJ McGarty, used to call me.

Then he’d tell you all about PJ and with his colorful explanation--the simple story of a nickname’s origin would somehow have connected all of you to PJ even though he passed away years ago and many of you didn’t know him.

This was one of my father’s gifts: not only connecting to people himself, but connecting us all to each other. --- As my sister mentioned last night, and as anyone who knew him will tell you, he never missed an opportunity to say hello to someone and when he shook your hand and asked how you were, he genuinely wanted to know.

Once he knew he set about the business of figuring out if he could help you in some way. He’d rack his brain to see if he knew someone, who knew someone who might know someone, who might be able to do something for you.

He carried the intentions of the people he loved with him wherever he went, to everyone he talked to and in everything he did, he looked for ways to be of service.

If my father had a hobby trying to help people was it. ---- For my dad everything he did was an opportunity for learning. A simple “Hey dad can I have a ride to school?” turned into an adventure in how to cross the city in the most efficient way possible, all the while hearing stories of the people who lived in the various houses we would pass, many that he had built himself, and there was always a vocabulary lesson to be had. He’d teach me one word per ride and when we got where we were going I had to be able to use it in a sentence, preferably a cleverly crafted one.

As I grew older he started asking me to try to stump him with words I’d learned on my adventures without him. He wanted to learn new words too.

This was who he was: Always a teacher; Always a student. --- When I think of him not being here and the great loss that is-it’s tempered by remembering these things:

That he connected us all, so as long as we’re with each other he is always with us.

That in every moment I take the time to say hello to someone or to try to help in some small way, his legacy of love lives on.

And every time I use a simple daily task as an opportunity to learn or to teach- I honor him by passing on the lessons he taught me.

Thank you all for being here to help us celebrate him and for the friendship and love you showed him.

Memories of Vince: Patrick Walsh

When I was twenty nothing years old, I got a job at the San Francisco Chronicle as a copy boy, the lowest position that the newspaper offered. After months of toiling away trying to work my way up the ladder, my father called me up and asked me to come over because he had an exciting idea. Over breakfast, he outlined his plan that I should go into the editor in chief’s office and offer to write Herb Caen’s column for him when he was on vacation. This was, I thought then, the stupidest idea ever. The more I brought up cogent and realistic arguments against it, the more my father felt it was brilliant. “Nobody’s using the space when he’s gone” “It can’t hurt to ask” “what have you got to lose?” Of course, I did not attempt this fool’s errand and risk career suicide. Every time afterward that I had breakfast with my father we would read the Chronicle and, if Herb Caen was on vacation, he would give me a dirty look for letting such a golden opportunity pass.

There were many cogent reasons for not risking career suicide in a grand act of presumption, but the real reason I never would have tried such a bold act is that I would be embarrassed to. Any normal man would have understood that. But my father, as my brothers and sisters can attest, did not feel embarrassment even if there were times we wished he would. Pants that had a permanently broken zipper, some poor neckties from the 70s, and his penchant for using a variety of strange objects as hats whenever someone would take out a camera, come to mind.

Embarrassment to my dad was just a manifestation of fear and fear was the enemy of life. I can think of no instance where my father refused to do something because it might lead to embarrassment. I don’t know if he ever felt embarrassment, but I don’t think so. The only thing to be embarrassed about was not trying. How many people here know my father because he took the initiative in introducing himself? Or because he started some committee, organization or initiative to accomplish something and invited you aboard?

My father’s real passion in life was other people, specifically other people’s ears. A fresh pair of ears to tell stories to was joy incarnate. He wanted to know who you are? Where you are from? And, most important, who do you know that I know? But he was also adept with the use of his own ears. He would remember everything you told him, file it away until needed. If you presented him a problem you were having, he would offer dozens of possible solutions. If none of them worked, he would ruminate on the problem for years, using the index of his friends and his friend’s strengths and assets as possible solutions. To be my father’s friend was to risk being called upon to help one of my father’s other friends. Even if there was no issue to solve, my father loved making a connection between others. It’s how he made the world a smaller, friendlier place

My brother is getting up here in a moment with the formidable, yet enviable, job of thanking people for their kindnesses over the past few years and the decades. So much food has been delivered to 11th avenue over the past few weeks that my mother described the situation as “It’s raining hams.” So many people have approached my family with the words If there’s anything I can do, please, please let me know.”

Well, there is something you can do. If my father was here looking out over this crowd, he would salivate at the idea of introducing everyone here to everyone else here. Of sharing what he found fascinating, admirable and interesting about his friends with his other friends. After this ceremony, or at the reception, honor my father by continuing his legacy of making the world smaller. Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know and find out why my dad loved them. I guarantee you that it was for a great reason. Don’t feel embarrassment. It is a useless emotion. And after today, if you can, keep making connections between people. And maybe, when the time comes, your family will be rained on with hams.

Memories of Vince: Brendan Walsh

Think where man’s glory most begins and ends And say my glory was I had such friends

Welcome.

For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Brendan Walsh and I am very proud to be Vince’s oldest son. I have been teasing my sisters lately that means I knew him the longest. But with my lifestyle probably will see him the soonest too. So I’d like to thank my family, the Bishop and Father Reyes for not making me limit my time up here. You better get comfortable.

Speaking before you today is both the single biggest honor and challenge of my life. I want to acknowledge and remind my family how lucky we are to have never been the center of attention at one of these functions. We have been incredibly blessed with good health and wonderful kids. I have watched many families, close friends of ours, suffer loss and handle it with dignity and grace. Hopefully we are following your lead here today. You know who you are….not a day goes by that we don’t think of you.

Let me begin by saying I have been at hundreds of these beautiful Irish gatherings and this one tops them all. In the past few years most of them seem to be at St. Cecelia’s or St. Gabriel’s though and I think I know why. One of two reasons, given the way Irish people think. You moved out towards 18th or 44th Avenue for better weather or, more likely, like the Alamo - you knew the Walsh’s with our great and fearless leader, Vince, and large numbers could hold the inner sunset for the Irish. Well I am here to tell you – that’s correct. We are still and will remain on 11th Avenue in ever increasing numbers. Though we are not alone, we do have some wonderful allies in the Sullivans, Meehans and more.

The door is always open at 1327 11th Avenue. So much so – I remember a typical cold evening of friends and family gathering and kids running in and out and as a gang of us came through, my Dad shouted at us to close the door. Probably because Auntie Carmel was cold, she is always cold, – and my “smart ass” cousin Debbie famously retorted “Why bother?”. Realizing her brilliance early on my dad, always with the solution and possibly to take away a little ammo from my mom, installed a commercial grade door closer on our front door. To this day, you just push it open and it closes behind you.

Anyway, my message here tonight is to thank you – this is an amazing turnout. My dad would be extremely proud, like he was at his 75th birthday party. He might even be a little annoyed. He’d probably say, “What a great turnout….wish I was there.”

Well, I believe most of you can feel that he is here. He just can’t say anything…..except to me, because - despite Maura’s constant campaigning and his repeated requests for Brigid in his last toughest days – I am actually his favorite, and he is saying things to me all the time. Things like “work harder”, “be nice to your mother”, “lose a couple pounds”, etc. all positive things…..typical Big Vince. Oh wait, he’s saying something right now….

He wants me to tell all my Sunset buddies standing in the back of the church that there are plenty of seats up front. I don’t want to do this again soon, if ever, so Jimmy O’Connell save my spot back there. While I am at it I’d like to say a quick thank you to Jim O’Connell. He recently dealt with his own leukemia diagnosis and was an amazing source of strength to me. I relayed all our conversations to my dad. My dad always wanted to know how he was doing and my understanding he is doing great. In typical Walsh fashion I didn’t ask Jimmy if I could share this.

My favorite big Vince story is:

Once when I was working at the Irish center (a place very special to him - we should all put aside our BS and support the center) my parents and the McFaddens were having dinner. I served the dinner to them and prepared to give the check to Doc McFadden because I am not stupid (parents’ friends always tip better than parents - plus I was preserving my inheritance). Anyway my dad was having prime rib with a baked potato, like always. He scooped out the potato like most of us would and my mom noticed this - he was in a conversation with Doc McFadden and didn’t really want to be bothered. I was going to take the plate and my mom says “wait a minute” she says, “Vince eat your potato skin”- I can’t remember if he ignored her or said no, but he didn’t eat the skin and she took her fork mid sentence with Mary McFadden and said “Vince eat the skin, that’s where the nutrients are” well he gave her a look that would have sent me running but she didn’t flinch. Anyway another minute goes by and she again takes her fork and lightly raps it on the side of his plate “Vince eat your skins, they are good for you” …but this was one too many times. He deftly snatched the fork out of her hands and said, “woman I don’t eat potato skins and I have a damn good reason” she said, “what is it?” He said, with every blood vessel in his forehead bursting, “because when I was a boy on the farm every day after school I went out to the barn and collected the horse and cattle manure to spread on the potatoes in the field below. I don’t eat them because I know what’s on them!!!!” Everyone, including me, was paralyzed with fear - except my mom, she just picked up her wine glass and said, “oh please you’re so dramatic….” Well the conversations resumed - crisis averted. Doc McFadden got the check.

A cousin of mine, Lorene, visiting a few days ago said it’s not uncommon for the spirit to hang around for 3-4 days before they go to heaven to watch over you. Not sure if I subscribe to that but I figure better safe than sorry, right? Even I can behave for 3-4 days – 6 or 7 just to be safe. But then what? I mean Big Vince was scary enough with a truck, a cell phone, Pat Hegarty at the window and his 6 daughters (which are the equivalent of a network of spies) …..Now you give him the ability to float and some cloud cover? Surely me, but we’re all in trouble. Given the cloud cover advantage you folks out at St. Gabriel’s better really watch it. I mean-I told him I always stopped at 6 beers….he’s certain to find out that’s not accurate. I will be at the reception later if anyone can think of a workaround for that.

I also promised to do my very best to attend mass every Sunday and I will try. But if the Niners fall behind early you may want to call my house and ask my lovely wife Lisa if my backside is on the couch or a pew. 

So enough of my personal anxieties – let’s talk for a few minutes about what my Dad would say if he were here. He wouldn’t self aggrandize or boast about his many accomplishments. He might lecture a bit….but since I am his favorite and the only one who can hear him, I’ll do my best to speak on his and our family’s behalf. Please bear with me, this is in no particular order.

We would like to thank all of his neighbors who came by, listened and visited with him. He looked forward to drop ins and you never disappointed, especially Tom McGuigan. The Gerstenkorns –lovely people, the people that consistently inquired how he was doing- Mike and Leo Cassidy come to mind, Mike Kennedy - he really liked you guys.

We’d like to thank the folks that run and frequent the blackthorn. Even though my dad wasn’t much of a drinker (if I didn’t look just like him I would swear I was adopted) he enjoyed going there and always knew where to find us. We have had many a family gathering there and we certainly owe you a few apologies, especially whoever is working tonight.

We’d like to thank his special neighbor, our 2nd Mom, Pat Hegarty. She made the long lasting mistake of living next door to us for 40+ years. Every one of us has, at different times, borrowed $ from her for proms, trendy clothes that my Mom refused to buy for us, gotten rides, etc. I personally drove our bright orange Volare station wagon through her garage door the first day I got my driving permit. She is family to us and we love her. Patty - he always said “nothing on this block gets by Pat”. You’re probably worried who is on watch while you’re here. Well at least you have surveillance now, parking will get easier.

We’d like to thank the pad locks…we are so blessed to be related to the 6 toughest guys and sweetest girl in Chicago. We call them the padlocks because my favorite uncle Dez married the most beautiful polish woman, my Auntie Diane. So my cousins are half Irish half Polish. Get it? Half paddy, half Pollock? They are like siblings to us and we love them.

We’d like to thank my Mom’s friends who supported her with walks, meals, talks, etc. over the last 3 years and before that. Especially the St. Anne’s mafia moms Mary Calica and Jane Anne Sullivan but also Valerie Lynn and Alberta, the lunch bunch. My dad always said, “Thank god for those women, Mom loves them.”

We’d like to thank the nurses, lab techs and doctors at UCSF. Especially Dr. Damon and Dr. Shunk who took a personal interest in him and helped him beat the disease for 3 years. I don’t know if all of you realize that 3 years ago this week they told him he had 3 – 6 weeks left. With the love and treatment he received at UCSF he beat the odds for a long time. We started thinking he actually enjoyed going up there and viewed it as visiting, not treatment. Especially the nurses. I mean, they sang Irish songs with him, he never waited in line, he always got a bed and not a chair. The UCSF clinic is not a place easily maneuvered or influenced but he did it 24 times for 6 days at a pop. I don’t know how they go to work every day with a smile on their face but they do. Except the day they knew it was his last visit - they gathered around, took pictures, sang to him, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. He wasn’t a number to them and they aren’t numbers to us.

We’d like to thank the Irish community both here and in Denver. The Irish in SF are unwavering in their support when someone is in need. The visits, meals, stopping by his table at the only three places: M’s, Howards, or the Irish Center. Which reminds me to thank Tom Clune - your visit to see him at UCSF made his day.

Against all odds and some very good advice, we went to Denver in March – because he co-founded the St. Patrick’s Day Parade there 50 years ago. He insisted we go. So Gerry Staunton called the parade committee who were so very gracious, especially the chairman, Mike O’Neill. He rode in the first car of a 4 ½ hour parade (it’s much bigger than ours) and spent the rest of the day having the time of his life on the reviewing stand. Note to the Irish societies: they have a full bar on the reviewing stand. People fight to get on that committee.

He was very sick at the time and someone who will remain anonymous told the cab driver the wrong end of the parade to drop us off at with the wheel chair. We couldn’t get another cab in the chaos so he told me to “hoof it” so I grabbed the grips on that wheelchair and him and I, with others in tow ran almost three miles to get him to the staging area. The whole time he was saying “faster”, “watch it”, “who taught you to drive?” He shut up when I reminded him who had taught me. He made it as the cars were pulling out. It was awesome to see him rally and I am so glad to have been there to see it. That trip would not have been possible without my cousin, Night Train, who administered all his medical needs and made sure his blood counts were where they needed to be. Night Train you and him got off to a rough start many years ago but look at where you two ended up. As one of his favorite people (we’re all second fiddle to Mariano and Thomas O’Neil) and a pallbearer at his funeral.

Another trip I am so glad we took was when he insisted again on not missing Delia Gallagher’s wedding in Italy last summer when he should not have been travelling. But he said “I have a great idea, if we are already in Italy - let’s go to Ireland.” And aside from some directional mishaps we had a wonderful, certainly too short time. We owe Joe, Maeve and Carissa Walsh and Siobhan McGuire our deepest gratitude. That trip was not possible without them. Maive Walsh is battling cancer or she’d be here. She’d probably already be at the Irish Center parked on the sidewalk. She told me convincingly that her handicap placard allowed her to park on the sidewalk. He used to roll his eyes at me and say, “that Maive is crazy”. He actually objected when Maive and I offered to go to the grocery store for milk because he knew multiple pub stops were a certainty. We wish her well…..

We’d like to thank Thomas O’Neil, we call him St. Thomas. He came every day it seemed and never got bored just listening to my Dad or helping my Mom. He is, without question, one of the finest men I know and our family can’t ever express our gratitude. Tommy boy he looked forward to your visits and when you weren’t there he asked for you. Please don’t stop coming around…every chore, repair or dish you wash, takes the pressure off me….

We’d like to thank his breakfast buddies, Mike, John, Bill and his old friend the late Terry Sullivan. If you never had the chance to witness the debates these guys had, you missed something. They have virtually nothing in common except a need to eat these large breakfasts every day but they became close friends and we are proud they are here today. When he couldn’t make it to breakfast (and he had to be really sick or in the hospital to miss breakfast) they set up a table at my parents’ house and brought breakfast and had it with him. We can’t thank them enough. Bill Milestone - he said to tell you to, “stick Larry with the check” in his honor. Amy from M’s and Cassie from Howards, thank you for being so nice to him.

We’d like to thank his best friends and their families. The McFaddens - the late, great Doc McFadden and his wife, Mary. They went to dinner every Friday for 35 years. My dad had a great time with Doc Mcfadden and we miss him still…even though he ran over our puppy when we were kids. The Naughtons, Pete and Bernie. Pete, he always said you were busier than the president but you visited him as often or more than any one of his kids in the hospital. You are finally on a vacation abroad and couldn’t be here, but you have nothing to prove to the Walshs. You loved him and he loved you. He called you the smartest guy he ever met.

The Howards are mainstays in our lives. Uncle Martin, he loved you playing the jews harp and Auntie Julia, you do make the best brown bread on the planet.

And what do you say about the Gallaghers? Auntie Deirdre lights up every room she enters. Usually by realizing we have been so sad we forget to turn them on. You are the classiest woman we all know and how lucky we are to have you in our lives. Uncle Charlie, you’re his best friend - I know because I asked him. Without your permission I am going to tell a quick story that sums up your friendship. One day we are at UCSF and it was my turn to be there. Uncle Charlie was visiting and my dad was particularly bad, I didn’t think he’d make it. He was sleeping but heavily medicated. Uncle Charlie and I were talking, passing the time. He said, “while we have a few minutes I have an idea I’d like to run past you…my idea is this – you and Charles (his son and my dad’s godson - both republicans) should call the head of the Republican national committee with an advertising campaign.” One that he had come up with. The democrats were painting the republicans as the party of NO and he had come up with a way to turn their strategy against them. He wanted the republicans to appeal to their religious roots and evangelical base and say yes we are the party of NO – NOAH. Well I swallowed that for second and wondered what to say - my dad suddenly and with perfect timing put up one of his huge hands and said “Charlie as your friend of 40 years, it’s a non starter!”

We’d like to thank our cousins the Ticklers especially his sister, Auntie Carmel. I always joke that the only thing she’d put the candy bowl down for was the rosary. She led the prayers and didn’t let us forget how important that was. Uncle Brian and Brian, thanks for visiting so often. Barry thank you for being such a good friend to Vinny through this. Angela- with the exception of making me cry all the time you have been a rock of support. Debbie, you live far away but you know we consider you a Walsh.

We’d like to thank our spouses, the outlaws. They went through this with us. When we covered round the clock shifts at UCSF, you never complained. When we had to extend trips because he took a downward turn, you never complained. You aren’t in-laws or outlaws to him. He considered you his children and that is the highest compliment I can pass along to you. I am sure we have all said thank you individually, but collectively - thank you. My own wife, Lisa – not only are you incredibly beautiful but loving and supportive. You have been a rock for me and I love you.

We’d all like to apologize to our kids for all the time spent away. Hopefully we showed you as a group how to circle the wagons when a loved one gets ill.

We would also like to thank specially our brother, Vinny. He shouldered the lion’s share of the care my dad needed and kept my mother sane, most of the time or sometimes. His girlfriend, Brianna, supported him and we’d like to thank her too.

Vinny – dad told me frequently and recently that you are a fine young man and he was so proud of you. He wished you didn’t have to be burdened but he appreciated you never making him feel like one. The last time your name came up he said, “He’s wonderful.”

I want to thank my brother Pat- we famously disagree on everything but my dad. Pat was incredible dealing with the doctors. Sometimes challenging but always understanding the treatments - then explaining it to us so we could participate and understand why he was reacting a certain way. Pat ,he really enjoyed arguing with you and marveled at how fast you can do a crossword puzzle. Thanks from everyone.

Don’t worry I am wrapping up. “Never give a Walsh a microphone.”

So my defense mechanism during the last few days was to hold my hand like this - If I make eye contact with my sisters I won’t finish this speech… You are all probably wishing I would finish. Don’t worry, I want to go to Molloy’s too.

My sisters - there aren’t words.

Maura, you’re suffering and sad – he wouldn’t want that. He’d tell you thanks, he loves you, sing you a song, and tell you to please stop crying - he is busy catching up with his mom and dad.

Briggie, he loved the head massages but he didn’t love the crazy Asian herb teas you would buy but because you made them he drank them. He said, “they tasted like poison”, but he would be mad at me for telling you that so never mind…

Kathleen the singing comforted him and he always said how he wished you lived closer, you have been the only one keeping a cool head through this ordeal - your brothers and sisters thank you.

Molly, I think Molly has moved back permanently from Spain she has been here so much. That can’t be easy with a business to run and we appreciate it. He missed you and your surprise visits were special to him.

Dee Dee – sweet, sweet Dee Dee. You got all of his good parts, you’re a stand out and we love that baby of yours. Liam personally got me through the hardest hours at the end. Dad was so proud of you, especially academically.

FIONA- you cried the hardest because dad won’t be at your wedding – but he will be there and you’ll know. Sean Walsh from Chicago told me once, “Every family has a bull. Ours is Kevin, yours is Fiona.” How right he was. You’re everyone’s source of strength and yes, you’re my favorite. You are all so much stronger than me - but I knew you were losing it when I saw Vodka and Pedialite being poured at 4 AM.

I want to thank my mother for all of us. She had her world turned upside down and stood tall. Her unwavering love for my dad is inspirational. She probably hasn’t slept a full night through in three years. If you stood back and watched all the little medical details she had to manage (all the while constantly cooking for everyone and making sure if you visited there was a cup of tea or a glass of wine for you) its unfathomable how she did it. I mean ask yourselves did you ever feel it was bad timing when you dropped by? No chance. Everyone stays too long at 11th Ave…because it’s a nice place to be. She’s the reason and other than her reluctance to stock beer in the fridge, she is the perfect hostess.

Mom, Dad loved you – you know that. You may not know how much. It’s something that just can’t be calculated. The word he always used for you was “amazing”.

So I, like all of you, will miss him. I will miss his big hands (I have certainly been on the wrong side of those), his beautiful voice (been on the wrong side of that too) and his leadership (never on the wrong side of that). He would say thank you - I am doing it for him. One request. Please, if you see one of us at the reception don’t be shy, tell us a story we may not know about him. We’d like that.

In closing, (many of you are worried Molloys will probably be closed by the time I finish).

So my new method of dealing with this loss and hopefully instilling my dads values into my son will be to hold up my fingers like this V V. Always a sign for big Vince.

Thank you dad for everything you taught me – yours was truly a life well lived, you are truly the toughest act to follow.

The program has a quote on it and it was carefully chosen. It was written by William Butler Yeats who, like my dad and all of the most distinguished and learned men of Ireland, comes from Sligo. It says, “think where a mans glory begins and ends and say my glory was that I had such friends”. That’s what he would say to all of you.

The Walsh family thanks you.