©NCT 2014 Alexandra House, Oldham Terrace London W3 6NH, Registered charity no. 801395
Spring 2014 Issue 129
Covering North Derbyshire, Bakewell and the Hope Valley
Chesterfield Branch
In this issue
“We are family” Daddy Daycare
Becoming a grandma
Motherhood: things lost and things found
Better Children’s menus
Places to eat with and without the kids Plus our regular features...New Arrivals,
Infant Feeding Advice and Breastfeeding Help lines, Meet a Member and More!
Members meet to start an NCT walk
Please don’t throw me away, pass me on to a friend today!
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Advertising
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In this issue...
6-7 Places to Go - We review great places to go in and around
Chesterfield.
8 New Arrivals—We welcome some new NCT babies
12-13 Recipe ideas to make and share
13 Ruth’s page: infant Feeding Update
14-15 Daddy Daycare—Steve shares some tips
22-23 Expecting the Unexpected
24-25 Caroline’s Birth Story
29 Meet a member of the NCT
30-31 Mother Love : things lost and things found
32-33 Ask an Expert - our experts answer your questions
34 Your Committee Contact Details
Patter Chesterfield Branch Newsletter
Spring 2014
Issue 129
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...From the editor
Hello and Welcome to Patter!
Hello and Welcome to the Spring 2014 edition of Patter. As ever, this magazine
is your magazine. I’m always looking for articles, reviews, birth stories and
suggestions. If you’d like to share a story with us, please do contact me!
This edition’s birth story is one of a peaceful, calm and controlled entry to the
world by virtue of an elective caesarean—thanks so much to Caroline for sharing
her experience, I hope it reassures any readers who are planning a caesarean or
end up with one that having a positive birth experience isn’t exclusively for
those people lucky enough to have uncomplicated vaginal deliveries.
This spring our Nearly New Sales are moving to a fabulous new venue in Hasland.
Easily accessible on public transport but with plenty of free parking we hope our
new venue should make bagging bargains even easier than ever. If you want to
sell at the sale on April 5th or you’d like to help out on the day please get in
touch with Helen our sales co-ordinator (see advert on page 4 for details).
On the subject of volunteers I’d like to say a huge thank you on behalf of the
committee to everyone who helps out with nearly new sales, we quite literally
cannot run the sales without you. As a branch we’ve come perilously close to
closing on more than one occasion over the past 3 years due to lack of people
willing to run the branch. If you could spare a few hours of your time over the
course of a few months and want to know more please, please get in touch or talk
to a committee member at the next Nearly New Sale or post in our facebook
group.
Tara
Volunteers Wanted!!! Do you feel you have something to offer your local NCT branch?
Volunteering needn’t be time consuming and it can be a good way of making
friends and building confidence and enjoying your new role as a parent.
We need volunteers to fill key roles or just to write an article for Patter or help
out at our nearly new sales etc.
Contact us at [email protected] if you would like to help.
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We review some top places to visit locally
Every issue we share some of our favourite places to go with small people in tow. Let us know if there’s a place you’d like us to feature at [email protected]
Regent House, Dale Road, Matlock
Our favourite place to go for a family weekend lunch. Situated just behind Hall
Leys Park and in the heart of Matlock’s junk/antique shop row, this old fashioned
cafe serves delicious speciality coffees and teas, mouthwatering cakes and has a
daytime sandwich/salad menu which has something for everyone. There are 3
rooms and one at the back has loads of space between the tables for buggies and
there are two big high chairs. Plastic plate and cups provided on asking. Sadly
the antique till l which made paying every more exciting for kids has finally
bitten the dust but it’s still a great lunch venue.
Nonnas, Chatsworth Road
Probably better known as a swanky evening cocktail or date night bar-restaurant,
Nonnas offer a great early evening menu. From 5-7pm adults can have two
courses for £11.95 and the children’s menu is excellent and includes a main, a
pudding, a drink, a colouring activity and being made to feel like a proper grown
up by the incredibly welcoming staff. Wander in and lose yourself imagining
you’re actually in Italy on a well deserved holiday rather than a frazzled parent
trying to sort out some tea for the kids
The Hub Cafe, Dronfield
The cafe has moved from Callywhite Lane to a new home just by the independent
shoe shop. The menu is very reasonably priced but the best bit is the huge kids
corner with safety matting, jigsaws, books and toys. At £1.25 for a huge
Americano whilst the kids play and entertain themselves I think it may be the
best value coffee in Derbyshire
Chesterfield Canal
For a brilliant buggy friendly walk with ducks to feed and a safe flattish path to
practice scooting or bicycling Chesterfield Canal takes some beating. For a
steady 3 mile stroll park at Tapton Lock and walk up towards Hollingwood where
there’s the lovely volunteer run Nona’s cafe open Wed-Sun (and Bank Holiday
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We review some top places to visit locally
Mondays.) Alternately for the less energetic, there’s a car park at Hollingwood
hub beside the cafe so you get to have tea and cake and a shorter stroll.
Designate @ The Gate, Smedley Street Matlock
The top solution to a wet Saturday afternoon with the kids must be this brilliant
free Lego Club which runs from 130-330 where children can indulge their inner
structural engineer whilst mums and dads get to chill out with the papers and
drink a reasonably priced cuppa or have a cheeky pint of beer. They also run a
craft class (£1) at 330 on a Saturday and show films on a Tuesday, the 1030am
showing being very suitable for small people. In half term week they are planning
lots of activities for school age children and in the summer there’s a wonderful
“beach” outside at the back.
One to Watch Out for... You tell us! Is there somewhere near you that’s worth a visit? A place you’d like
to see more people attending cause it’s just so fantastic? Contact us at Patter
and we’ll come to review!
Are You Reading This? Then so will your customers
Are you a local business that needs to reach families? Patter is
produced by families for families and has a circulation of two
issues a year covering Chesterfield, Bakewell, Matlock and Hope
Valley. Contact us: [email protected]
If you would like to sponsor an issue this costs £35 +VAT per issue as well as
the cost of an advert inside the magazine and allows you to have your company
name, logo etc in colour on the front cover.
Ex VAT Inc VAT
(@ 20%)
1 year
(2 issues)
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New Arrivals
Each issue we announce as many births as we hear about from members of the
NCT. We’re looking forward to sharing in your special news and sharing it for you
so if you’ve had a special delivery recently, why not let us know
So special CONGRATULATIONS and WELCOME to our New Arrivals…
Emma & Steve -Darcie Grace 01.02.14
Lindsey & David - Estelle 4.01.14
Ivona & Clive - Klara Marie 17.12.13
Joanna & Daniel - Alexander Christopher 28.01.14
Anna & David - Charlotte Grace 29.11.13
Claire & Adam - Penelope Jayne 17.12.13
Kim & Liam - Elizabeth Jane 27.11.13
Aimi & Adam - Aureilia Bree 13.13.13
Best wishes to you all from Patter xxx
Disclaimer
The following words and phrases used within Patter are all Trademarks:
NCT, National Childbirth Trust, Bumps and Babies, Patter
Chesterfield Branch Newsletter ©NCT 2014
The National Childbirth Trust, Registered Office, Alexandra House, Oldham
Terrace, London, W3 6NH
Registered No. 2370573 Charity No. 801395
The line art graphics used within Patter are all copyright and permission to
use them must be gained from Michelle Lancaster. No photographs may be
reproduced without permission from Chesterfield NCT.
The views expressed in this Newsletter are not necessarily those of the editors
or the National Childbirth Trust (NCT). Also, the appearance of an
advertisement in this Newsletter does not imply endorsement of the company
or its products by the NCT, nor does it constitute a recommendation.
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COLOUR AD HERE
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Advertising: Swim babes
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Susie Bayley is an inner city GP and mother of 2. Having always been passionate about food and health she became increasingly disillusioned with the standard of children’s food when eating out with her young family. Inspired to make a difference she created betterchil-drensmenus.com: an online campaign to improve children’s food, promote progressive eateries and a community for parents passionate about feeding their children well.
Eating out with children can be tough: irrational crying, arguments about food choice
and food flung everywhere, and that’s just the parents! Cross the channel and there is
a marked difference. Children are welcomed with open arms, they seem to behave im-
peccably and children in good restaurants are commonplace. So why the difference?
Our food culture is obviously very different, and I do feel that in part this is due to
the value we place on children’s food in the UK. Most restaurants and cafes menus are
stuck in the 1980s: a fried offering served with the ubiquitous servings of chips and
peas. I appreciate that offering a child a plate of salad when you go out for a meal will
go down about as well as stealing their light-sabre, but we can improve the quality and
add healthier options.
For these reasons http://betterchildrensmenus.com was founded. I want to encourage
eateries to take a second look at their menus and see if they could do better. Those
who are already progressive are promoted on the site; these restaurants and cafes
commit to the following on their children’s menu:
Better choice: An increase in the breadth of child menus. Where possible, offer-
ing smaller portions of adult dishes (particularly where special dietary require-
ments exist e.g. dairy allergy/coeliac disease)
Better ingredients: Using fresh produce and avoiding processed food with addi-
tives, preservatives and excess salt
Better for them: Having some dishes which are healthier options
We’re also a community for parents to swap tips and let the industry know what they
would like to see on children’s menus.
There are some huge names that have agreed to our pledge: Rick Stein’s and Mark Hix’s
restaurants. In addition we have a few Michelin starred venues and national chains, but
WE WANT MORE! So parents, let us know about great local eateries that are already
looking after our children’s interests. I will then contact them and see if they will join
us. Hopefully by celebrating progressive restaurants, we can encourage others to
change.
http://betterchildrensmenus.com
[email protected] Susie Bayley
Better Children’s Menus
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Uncle Richard’s Chicken (for two grownups and two smaller people)
A fabulous introduction to very mild curry much loved by the editor’s baby
and courtesy of her Indian Uncle Richard
2 onions (chopped)
Small piece of ginger (chopped)
2 cloves garlic (chopped finely)
400g Tin of tomatoes or a carton of passata
1 tsp turmeric
6 skinless chicken thighs
Put one onion, the garlic and ginger in a small processor (or pestle and mortar)
and blend to a paste. Add the turmeric and pulse again quickly.
Fry the other onion in some vegetable oil until it is translucent and then add the
chicken pieces and spice paste and fry gently til the chicken is sealed on the out-
side (don’t burn the spice paste)
Whizz the tinned tomatoes in the processor (no need if using passata) and add to
the pan with salt and pepper to taste.
Simmer for 40-60 minutes
Serve scattered with fresh coriander with rice (and peas)
Oaty Yoghurty Bircher Muesli (Feeds one hungry mummy or two toddlers)
100ml natural or fruit yoghurt
40g porridge oats
75ml milk
Small handful frozen blueberries or raspberries (or fresh)
Honey or maple syrup to serve
The night before eating, mix the yoghurt, oats and milk together in a bowl. Add
the frozen berries (if using fresh berries wait til tomorrow to add them) and mix
well. Leave in the fridge overnight. At breakfast time add fresh berries if using,
drizzle with maple syrup or honey (remembering honey shouldn’t be given to ba-
bies under 12 months old)
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Local NCT Breastfeeding Counsellors
Jo Glossop 01246 559484 Ruth Oscroft 01246 450074
Sophie (Sheffield) 0114 2683520 Susan (Buxton) 01298 214213
National Helpline 0844 2090920 Breastfeeding Network 0844 412 4664
National Childbirth Trust 0300 3300771 Supporterline in Bengali /
Sylheti
07944879759
La Leche League 08451202918 Association of
Breastfeeding Mothers
0844 412 2949
Ruth’s Page—Infant feeding
Responsive feeding is fast becoming a recognised phrase when talking about in-
fant feeding and relates to both breast and bottle-feeding, For many years we
have practised ‘demand feeding’ or ‘baby-led feeding’ and simply followed the
baby’s cues for feeding. We recognise that demand and supply are closely linked
and that feeding frequently helps increase the milk supply.
Responsive feeding is all inclusive. Feeding in response to baby’s feeding cues is
important and these cues include stirring, mouth opening, rooting and sucking fin-
gers. Crying is a much later cue and baby will need time to calm down before be-
ing ready to feed. In addition to responding to the baby’s needs, it is important
for a mother to be responsive to her own needs, such as breastfeeding when her
breasts are full, or for her own convenience. Breastfeeding does allow for free-
dom and flexibility.
It is also recognised as important that bottle-fed babies (breastmilk or infant
formula) are fed responsively.
Here are some of the main points:
Hold baby close, talk to her (him).
Gently touch baby’s top lip with the teat to encourage rooting and when
their mouth is open let baby draw in the teat, don’t force it.
Stay focussed on the baby and watch for signals that baby is ready for a
natural pause during the feed.
Recognise when baby has had enough (pushes teat out with the tongue).
Limit the number of people who give the bottle-feeds.
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Feature: Daddy Daycare
Patter interviews Steven Hillier, entertainer in chief to 16 month old Scarlett
Tell us about yourself I work 3 days a week and I look after our 16 month old toddler the other 2 days. My
wife Emma works full time although she’s just started maternity leave as we are
awaiting the birth of our second child. I work as a designer at Rolls-Royce and when
Scarlett was born thought that it might be nice for me to spend a couple of days a
week with her so we could go out and do fun things! Giving up a full time role wasn’t an
easy decision and initially I found it difficult to adjust to not being in work as much and
not be available for meetings that I would have ordinarily attended.
What sort of things do you do? Luckily, there is lots to do in the Chesterfield area. We have a dog called Ruby and
when the weather is nice we take her for a walk in the park. Rainy days often mean a
trip to the local soft play centre and we particularly like Planet Happy in Ripley because
it has quite a large area for small children who are not confident walkers. I often get
chance to chat with other parents too and it gives Scarlett the chance to play and
interact with other children.
We like to go swimming at Alfreton Leisure centre. The baby pool is great and has toys
and floats for the children to use. I have a waterproof camera that I take with me
sometimes to capture the fun we have so that Emma can have a look when she gets
home from work. I always seek permission from the centre manager to do this before
we enter the pool area and they are generally fine providing there is nobody else in the
shot. Once out of the pool I strap Scarlett into the small child seat that is at the side
of the showers, it’s a really handy addition because it allows me to get showered in the
knowledge that Scarlett is safe. I make sure that I have some warm milk to hand for
when Scarlett is dried off because she’s usually tired and thirsty by the time we’re
both dressed.
Sometimes Scarlett and I can spend the morning in the house. I cover lounge carpet
with paper and tape the edges together, this creates a large surface for us to draw,
colour and make markings on – its usually a great hit. At mealtimes I sit Scarlett in her
high chair and have her next to me as I prepare the food, I think its useful for
children to observe how food is prepared and observe how adults deal with knives and
utensils. I find that it keeps her distracted for a while. Scarlett loves music and so
having the radio on helps entertain her. She likes to body pop to the tunes.
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Feature: Daddy Daycare
What sort of things do you find difficult? The first time I went out with Scarlett, I felt quite apprehensive that at any moment
she could erupt into tears and it’d be down to me to make everything better. When out
I always have a well stocked bag. Aside from the usual paraphernalia I make sure I
carry a bottle of milk, a favourite toy and some nibbles (tangerines, dried fruit,
biscuits). At the moment, we’re in the process of babyproofing our home. I didn’t
quite realise the speed in which a toddler can get from one side of the room to the
other! We found some decent second hand baby gates and have them installed on the
stairs and in the living room. I also came across some cushioned edging strip by
Clevamama which is a roll of handy stuff that can be stuck to the corners of a coffee
table in order to prevent little heads from getting injured should they fall onto it. We
have a log burner and one of my biggest fears was that Scarlett would fall onto it. We
managed to get a brilliant fireguard from Kiddicare which extends the full length of
the hearth and creates a sturdy barrier. It’s got an open top and therefore adults can
reach in to re-stock the fire.
Sleepless nights also have to be high up on the list of the things I found difficult.
When Scarlett was born I told my wife that she must have some ‘special mummy
hormones’ that enabled her to awake up five times a night and still be able to function
the next day. When she returned to work I had to take a greater part in the night
time routine. I know some parents adopt a ‘no milk’ policy overnight for babies over a
certain age on the basis that they shouldn’t require it. We’ve had a bit more of a
relaxed approach to Scarlett and had an agreement that if she woke during the night
we would leave her for no longer than ten minutes, if after this time she was still upset
then she would be offered some milk. We found that unless she was ill, this would
generally be sufficient to settle her. I’m pleased to say that she is quite a good little
sleeper now and it’s relatively infrequent that we find ourselves awake in the small
hours
Have you got any advice to new parents? Go with your own instinct! People tend to fall over themselves to tell you how well their
children ate, slept, walked, became potty trained etc…..but its important to remember
that every child is different and your child will get there at their own pace. We tried
to celebrate the little things that Scarlett did and didn’t get bogged down with the
detail of ‘oooh, she’s not rolled over yet’ or ‘she can’t quite sit up on her own’. The baby
phase passes so quickly and if you spend too much time obsessing about what your child
isn’t doing then you can risk missing out on what they are doing. Parenting is a tough
job, it requires a huge amount of energy and organisation. I think the key is not to get
too wound up; just accept the things that can’t be changed (because there will be
many!) and retain your energy for the things you can do to make daily life a bit easier.
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Advertorial—Amanda McConnell Photography
My love of photography started back in the 80s when I bought my first SLR
camera and studied photography in the days of film and dark rooms!
After 20 years of travelling and working in different parts of the world, photo-
graphing local people in their natural environments, my passion has become even
stronger!
Turning 40 saw me re-evaluate my life and what I wanted to do when I returned
to work after starting a family. I knew that I still wanted to help people in my
new career but in a different way to helping them learn new skills. Inside my
head a little voice kept saying to me ‘Amanda, what is it you LOVE doing?’ And
the only answer that kept coming back to me was PHOTOGRAPHY! Feeling that
life was too short to look back with regrets, I decided to take a leap of faith and
set up my own photography business - Amanda McConnell Photography. So far,
I’ve not looked back and hope I never do, as I absolutely love my job photograph-
ing Babies, Children & Families as a Family Lifestyle Photographer. I am based in
Chesterfield but work with clients throughout Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire and
South Yorkshire who value quality photography and who want something differ-
ent and special from their Family Lifestyle Photo Shoot experience.
My aim is to capture you and your family as you truly are, in the comfort of your
home or at a beautiful location. This means that my clients can feel relaxed in
places they are happy to be in and the children have the space to explore and
play, so I can capture those special childhood moments whilst everyone has lots
of fun together. There are no studio lights, no artificial backdrops, no cheesy
poses and no false smiles. Just you, me, my camera and beautiful, natural light.
When you book a photo session with me, you're not just booking a photographer,
but someone who takes a lot of pride in their work, who is truly passionate about
what they do and who pays great attention to the small details. So whichever
photo session you book with me, you can be assured of a special, individual ex-
perience from start to finish.
I pride myself on creating beautiful, timeless images that you will fall in love
with, that will bring you smiles everyday of your life and that will give you a life-
time of memories you can look back on and share with their children as they
grow!
Let me show you how we can work together to capture some wonderful memories
for you and your family to treasure for a lifetime . . . it’s time to capture your
story. Amanda x
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NCT Mission Statement
The NCT offers information and support in pregnancy and early parenthood. We aim to give every parent the chance to make informed choices. We try to make sure that services, activities, and membership are fully accessible
to everyone.
Donations to support our work are welcome.
Support Group
Parenting Additional Needs is excited to be joining force with ChesterfieldNCT
to help spread the word and offer much needed support to parent carers.
Parenting Additional Needs was set up 2 years ago by Emily Brailsford and is run
solely by parents of children with an additional need. We offer monthly support
group meetings with professional speakers,day trips out and fundays for the
whole family. When founder Emily first started the group it was based
in Matlock but it soon became apparent there was such a need for this service
elsewhere, that Parenting Additional Needs has grown and grown. We now have
well established groups in Matlock and Chesterfield as well as a new group which
opened in Ashbourne early this year with our new partnership we hope to have
groups opening throughout Derbyshire.
A special needs child can change the whole family's life so we are also running a
siblings art journal course which is a 6 week programme and is aimed to help sib-
lings deal with their feeling and emotions. Its also a great opportunity to make
friends with other children who have a disabled sibling. Please feel free to pop
along to one of our meetings. All dates,times and locations are updated regularly
on the Facebook page or our website (www.parentingadditionalneeds.org.uk) or
give us a call on 07980 762778
Calling parents with a
child with additional
needs...
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Feature
Expecting the Unex-
Nothing prepares you for the birth of a baby….the trauma yet miracle of giving
birth, the endless sleepless nights, the tears and separation anxiety when you
have to be parted for the first time and the huge waves of emotion which wash
over you when you least expect it……and that’s just being the grandma!
I became a grandma to George last June, or to be more precise, became Mamie
Lou lou. Inspired by two of our French grandmas at the day nursery which I run,
I considered that this made me sound both younger and more glamorous. Having
been so excited about the impending addition to our family I was thrilled to be
in the hospital as George made his appearance and to meet him almost immedi-
ately. What I hadn’t anticipated was feeling the same emotions as a new
grandma as I had experienced as a new mum. I was completely overwhelmed as I
held the tiny bundle and I was back to nearly thirty years ago with the birth of
my first son. When visiting was over the proud new parents were concerned
about me as I burst into tears reluctant to leave!
I have always had a great relationship with my daughter in law, but as we now
share the same experience we are even closer and I delight in seeing her develop
into a confident caring mother. In the early days of pregnancy, when she was be-
ing bombarded with conflicting opinion on how to care for a baby, I had sug-
gested that she ignored all well meaning advice….apart from mine of course! Fol-
lowing your own instinct, safe in the knowledge that your baby and yourself are
happy and safe was something I’d realised by the time I had my third child.
What most surprised me though was the confidence of my son as a new dad. As a
baby he had been ‘hard work’, crying continually, refusing to eat and always de-
manding! As he became a father I joked to myself ‘pay back time!’ How wrong
could I be. I feel proud and very humbled to see him having equipped himself so
well for this role. He has always been an organised person and he threw himself
into his new responsibilities with enthusiasm right from the start; researching
different types of pain relief during labour, comparing different methods of
sterilising and feeding products, reading up on the latest technology used in
safety products for babies even giving up alcohol a few months prior to George’s
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Arrival just in case...
As George was an unplanned C-Section and his mum was very tired and sore, my
son threw himself into supporting her by taking his fair share of feeding, bath
times and endless pacing around the room, pacifying a restless baby. When
George was just a couple of weeks old, I was touched to find my son doing ‘story
time’ following George’s last feed, complete with character voices and everything.
He always introduces George as ‘my best mate’ and is rewarded by an adoring
smile. I’m sure other grandparents would agree that seeing your parents become
parents themselves is incredibly moving.
Running a day nursery has highlighted for me the increasing presence of Dads in
the last few years. When I started the nursery 13 years ago, dads were reluc-
tant to spend time at the setting often appearing uncomfortable, some even like
the proverbial rabbits in headlights! Nowadays dads are not only regularly bring-
ing and collecting their children, but spend considerable amounts of time talking
to staff, sharing ideas and even volunteering to help us with activities. This is
probably helped by the fact that we have a male assistant manager working in
the 3-5’s pre school room with whom dads can relate and obviously feel comfort-
able talking to.
Technology has also marched on in the past 13 years, taking with it the baby
product market. Whilst recently babysitting for the first time I spent the entire
evening with the television so low I could hardly hear it, in order to hear a range
of bleeps and alarms on the baby sensor whilst watching constantly to check all
the lights on the monitor were flashing at the right time. This intricate device
did not however deter me from tiptoeing into George’s room and standing for
lengths of time just watching his perfect little form sleeping.
I too have marched on personally in the past 13 years. Now that I am a grandma
I now host a baby group in the ‘Gingerbread House’ at Tiddlers Day Nursery,
which I run every Friday.
Remembering how I struggled as a first time mum and how lonely it could feel at
times. I have created a group which mums, dads or grandparents can come to
with their babies and just have some relaxing time to talk, share ideas and prob-
lems, eat cake and drink tea. Anyone is welcome Friday 2:30pm. and it is free!
Louise Williams
Feature
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Caroline’s Birth Story
Each issue we feature a unique and inspirational birth story from one of our members. If you have a story you’d like to share, please send it to [email protected] and it could be your story next time.
Before my little boy (who is now 3) was born, I never even considered the possi-
bility of a Caesarean birth. Different birth interventions were discussed at our
NCT classes and I was vaguely aware of what complications might lead to a C-
section but I assumed that it would never happen to me! I booked into the mid-
wife led birth centre at Darley and my husband, Ash, and I planned on a water
birth. When I went into labour with Noah we managed to stay at home for sev-
eral hours before travelling over to Darley. When they examined me they found
I was well into established labour, but also discovered that Noah was undiag-
nosed breech. I was taken over in an ambulance to Calow and within 2 hours,
Noah had been born by emergency C-section.
We had discussed several times what birth plan we might go for if we had an-
other baby but had made no firm decision before I became pregnant with Imo-
gen. At our 12 week scan we also had an appointment with the consultant to dis-
cuss whether we wanted an elective section or to try for a VBAC. Still unde-
cided, we arranged for another appointment with the consultant at 36 weeks to
make our final decision. After this first appointment Ash and I spent a lot of
time talking about what we wanted to do and the pros and cons of a repeat sec-
tion versus a VBAC. Although the risk of my scar rupturing during natural labour
was very low, the possibility did concern me. I looked in detail at a number of
studies about the success of VBACs and also found that women who had large ba-
bies were less likely to be successful. As my little boy was large (with a large
head!) this was also a consideration in case my second baby was also large. Our
decision was also coloured by our very positive experience of the emergency sec-
tion. I healed after the surgery very quickly, experienced very little post-op
pain and established breastfeeding with Noah with very few issues. I am aware
that I was very fortunate in this, as some mums have significant pain and it takes
some time for their milk to come in. After much soul searching we decided to go
for an elective section and at our 36 week appointment were given a date to go
into hospital to meet our little girl!
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The night before the surgery I had to go into triage for blood tests and also to
be given an anti-clotting injection. For several days before the surgery I also
had to wash using an anti-bacterial soap. On the morning of the surgery after
having a light breakfast of toast I then had to fast until the operation. We
arrived at the hospital at 8am and then had to wait until mid afternoon to be
taken to theatre. We were given a bed on the ward, spoke to the surgeon and
the anaesthetist and then did a lot of waiting! At around 3pm we were taken
down to theatre. I was given an injection of local anaesthetic in my back and
then the spinal block. The injection of lidocaine felt slightly uncomfortable but I
didn’t experience any other pain at all during the operation. The catheter was
also put in after the spinal block, which I was very relieved about! It was put in
before the spinal for my previous emergency section and was very painful!
There was one point during the surgery where I felt very sick because my blood
pressure had dropped which was a bit unpleasant but they quickly corrected that
with medication. When they took Imogen out I felt a strange pulling sensation
but it wasn’t painful in any way. The whole operation was very quick – about 10
minutes for Imogen to be born and then 20 minutes to remove the placenta,
stitch me up etc.
Our community midwife from the local surgery, Angela, came into the operation
with us and was incredibly supportive through the whole process. She put my
catheter in and then looked after Imogen as soon as she was born, giving her to
me for a cuddle and then cleaning her up and weighing her. As it turned out
Imogen was over 1lb lighter than Noah so I needn’t have worried about a big baby
after all. Angela also spent about an hour with us in the recovery room, helping
Imogen to latch on for her first feed. Imogen took to breastfeeding really well
and my milk came in even more quickly then it had with Noah. Back on the ward
my catheter stayed in overnight and the midwives were fantastic, lifting her out
of her cot and bringing her to me when she needed a feed and also changing her
nappy as I still had a drip in and was unable to wash my hands. The catheter was
removed the next day and from then on I was very mobile and in less pain than I
was when I had Noah. I also went home more quickly, after only 24 hours. At
home I took paracetamol and ibuprofen for a few days but overall felt very well
and certainly recovered more quickly than after my emergency section. We had
a very positive birth experience and although it was a difficult decision to make
to have another section, I feel it was the right one for our family.
Caroline Young
Caroline’s Birth Story
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Meet a Member
This issue we meet Janice Bather
Can you tell us a little about yourself?
My Name is Janice and I’m the new chair of the Chesterfield
Branch of NCT. In my past experience I have held Chairperson
for a volunteer bureau and was vice chair at Ashfield women’s
centre. I have also been chair and vice chair on a board of school
governors for 10 years.
Why did you join the NCT?
I joined the NCT because of its commitment to parents and the arrival of my
granddaughter. I see this as a way to promote NCT in the local area and to
increase membership within the branch.
What has NCT done for you?
The nearly new sales have kitted out my granddaughter in lovely clothes and with
some great equipment at a fraction of the price we’d have paid on the high
street. I’ve met some new friends and become aware of local and national
initiatives for parents and carers
What would you like to see the NCT do in Chesterfield?
My long term vision of Chesterfield branch is to reinstate branch activities, to
facilitate paediatric first aid course, to reinstate parent support group and to
promote a positive support network for parents and grandparents.
Thanks for your answers Janice!
In our next issue we’ll be looking to meet another member – so if you are inter-
ested or you know someone else who may be interested in sharing their views on
the NCT please email [email protected]
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Motherhood: things lost and things found
Elaine shares some reflections on being a mother
What I have Found
I went upstairs to check on my little boy in his travel cot. Two eyes glowed back
at me in the semi-dark. I bent down and whispered “I love you”. He whispered it
back, and we both said “You’re the best” together. I asked if he would like me to
stay and he nodded. I lay down next to him, and put my hand through the cot to
hold his. He gently played with my hand as he fell to sleep, occasionally letting go
to stand up and settle down in a different position. At one point I felt both a
hand and a foot.
Inside my belly I felt the little hands and feet of my growing baby moving
around. It felt difficult to imagine that I could love the little one inside me as
much as the one holding my hand, but I was sure it would happen.
I hadn’t realised how strongly I would love my boy until he was born and how it
would strengthen, deepen and change as he grew. Once you get married you as-
sume you have left behind the thrills and excitement of falling in love with some-
one else. But I had fallen in love all over again.
It is not the first time I have experienced completely unconditional love. I
needed to become a mother to understand that I have been the recipient of such
love from my parents. Whilst not fully appreciating the depth of their feelings, I
have always known they would love me, whatever I did. I have taken it for
granted, but it has been a strong prop in my life.
Now I am the giver, rather than the receiver, I understand the nature of mother
love more. I love my boy so strongly and completely that I fear letting him go,
something that must happen as he grows. But I’m sure my love will change and
soften as he needs me less. I know I will love him whatever he does with his life,
and whatever his feelings for me.
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What I have Lost
Since becoming a mother I have lost many of the hopes and dreams of my 18-
year-old self. I spent happy hours of the summer holidays lying in the sunshine
immersed in classic biology books, writers such as Richard Dawkins and Stephen
Jay Gould developed my love of clear thinking and analytical science. I went on to
study biochemistry at university and loved it even more. The teenage me was a
passionate feminist and ambitious, I wanted to use my brains to have a glorious
career. And if I hadn’t had children I think I probably would have done. At least
I feel I haven’t climbed off the career ladder because I was not capable, but
because I found something else that emotionally I needed to do more. I am sure
I will be successful in other ways - children will not fill all of my remaining
working life - but I know I will not achieve what I had hoped when younger.
Unexpectedly, I think achieving less in terms of career may leave me happier.
Raising a family is an attainment, but not one valued highly by the society that
equates success with money and status. If I had not had children, perhaps I
would have realised at some later point, via a classic mid-life crisis, that there
was more to life than career. Or perhaps I would have followed my dreams. I
greatly miss many of the things I used to enjoy before children - going for a long
walk up a steep hill followed by a fantastic meal out, lounging around at the
weekend immersed in a book, playing a game of tennis on a summer’s evening then
having a cold beer in the pub. Some are still possible, none are straightforward.
Most will get easier in the years to come.
I would like to have more time and emotional energy to devote to my relationship
with my husband. My day job involves lots of love and cuddles and his doesn’t. He
needs my attention when he gets back from work and I just need some time on
my own. It’s hard to do the things we used to enjoy together, and sometimes
impossible to have a real conversation between 7am and 7pm (“Stop talking
Mummy! Stop talking Daddy!”)
If I think about my day to day ‘mother tasks’ there is very little glamour or
stimulation. Feeding and watering, clearing up resulting mess, sorting out the
bodily fluids that follow. Playing a game for the umpteenth, clearing up the mess.
Washing clothes, making them dirty again. Washing clothes.
I find email a lifeline – a chance to think about other things, use my brain and
type very fast. I still need to communicate with the outside world, to make a
small impact. I still have ambitions, plans, ideas and opinions. They may have
changed over the past few years, but I hope I never stop having them.
Motherhood: things lost and things found
32 32
Have you got a burning question you’d like to know the answer to?
Here at Patter we’re fortunate to have some excellent volunteers who are
able to offer a wealth of knowledge in other areas. Each issue they will be
answering your questions on a whole variety of problems to do with childcare,
parenting, feeding and health.
So if you have a question you’d like to put to our experts, send it to
[email protected]’ and we’ll pick out the most interesting,
popular or burning questions for our panel to answer in the next issue.
Ask an expert
Tara George
Health Expert
Ruth Oscroft and Jo
Glossop
Breastfeeding Support
Samantha Forde
Antenatal
teacher
I'm breastfeeding my 10 month old baby and I've just found out I'm preg-
nant. Can I carry on feeding whilst I'm expecting? I tried looking on the
internet and found some sites on "tandem feeding" what's that?
Ruth says:
Yes, you can carry on breastfeeding through pregnancy and whether you do or
not will depend quite a bit on your personal feelings and circumstances. There is
some evidence that 55-70% of babies / children had weaned from the breast be-
fore their brother or sister was born.
Some women experience nipple discomfort from hormonal changes and this
might affect how they feel about breastfeeds. Also mid-pregnancy, colostrum is
produced (lower volume and different taste) and baby may decide to wean from
33
the breast. Pregnancy-related health issues (e.g. uterine pain or bleeding) might
influence your decision too. If you feel unsure about what to do, take one day at
a time and speak to a trusted friend or a breastfeeding counsellor.
Tandem feeding is when a mother breastfeeds an older child and a new-born to-
gether. Physically, the additional breast stimulation will increase the milk supply
and there will be enough milk for two. How a mother might feel about, or react
to tandem feeding is unique to her. Incorporating the needs of the new-born
baby, the older child and the mum herself all require thinking about. In addition
there are practical considerations and emotional adjustments that crop up,
sometimes unexpectedly.
NCT has a Shared Experiences Helpline, where mothers can talk to someone
Don’t forget Sure Start groups...
Including Holiday Play Schemes, Baby Weigh & Play, Stay & Play
Sessions, Music Workshops, Baby Peeps, Baby Massage, Breast Feeding
Groups, Dads’ Events and much more.
There is something on most days in most areas. For a full schedule,
please call 01629 533570, or pop into any of the Sure Start Centres for
a flyer.
Ask an expert
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34 34
Meet the people who make up Chesterfield NCT branch
Branch Chair Janice Bather
Treasurer Caroline Young
Patter Distributor and
Advertising Co-ordinator
Pauline King
Publicity Catherine Nicholson
Nearly New Sale Co-ordinator Helen Gough
Patter Editor Tara Jones
Events Co-ordinator Volunteer Required please contact
us
Breast feeding Counsellors Ruth Oscroft [email protected]
Jo Glossop 01246 559484
Area 6 PSA Tara Hamilton
Antenatal Co-ordinator Samantha Forde
Area and regional Co-ordinator [email protected]
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