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Principles of Healthy Relationships and Marriages
Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors
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Objectives
Participants will:
» Learn about the components of a healthy relationship/marriage
» Develop tools to create and maintain a healthy relationship/marriage
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Agenda
» Origins of our attitudes toward relationships
» What makes a relationship/marriage healthy?
» The importance of positive self-esteem
» Stages of marriage
» Writing a love letter
» Dating each other
» Tools for a healthy relationship
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Origins of Our Attitudestoward Relationships
Many of our attitudes about intimate relationships and what to expect from them are shaped by observing our parent’s and other adults’ relationships
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What Makes a Healthy Marriage?
» Mutual respect and acceptance of each other» Trust» Fairness/Equality
» Separate identities
» Good communication
» Understanding conflict is normal
» Positive self-esteem
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The Importance of Positive Self-Esteem
» Enhances communication skills and decreases resentment
» Helps you maintain your identity in the relationship
» Decreases likelihood of conflicts and enhances problem solving skills
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Stages of Marriage
» Romantic love
» Disillusionment
» The power struggle
» Acceptance and Cooperation
» Transformation
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Writing a Love Letter
Love letters» Words are powerful
» You don’t have to be a poet - simple statements are just as meaningful – write from your heart
– Both men and women appreciate love letters
– Express the feelings that prompted you to write this love letter
– Write as if you are speaking directly to your partner
– Express what you love and enjoy most about this person
– Share the most significant moments that you have experienced with this person
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Dating Each Other
Plan dates with your spouse -Set a weekly date night with your spouse Plan aheadArrange for childcarePay attention to your appearanceAllow time for conversationKeep it simple or lavish – whatever your budget allows
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Tools for a Healthy Relationship
» Practice good communication
» Own your messages
» Remember to have fun
» Date each other
» Keep expectations realistic
» Practice self-care
» Be flexible
» Let your partner know you care
» Remember that building a healthy relationship is a process
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Summary
» Positive self-esteem enhances a relationship
» Planning dates and writing love letters or notes can help maintain intimacy
» Good communication is an important skill to develop
» Developing a healthy relationship is a process
» If problems persist or intensify, seek help
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Questions
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References
» www.ccamain.com/content/view//62/38
» www.lifescript.com/life/relationships/love
» www.pace.edu/page.cfm?doc_id=5115.
» Barnett, Doyle (1995). 20 communication Tips for Couples: A 30-Minute Guide to a Better Relationship. New World Library.
» Evenson, Merry (2009) LPC, LMFT, Military and Family Life Consultant
» Gottman, John & Silver, Nan (2000). Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. Three River Press.
» The Divorce Recovery Book, Michelle Weiner Davis (2001)