Download - Holyland Adventure Park
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holylandadventurepark
bycolehayley
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“holyland adventure park”
a short play by cole hayley
draft 5.1
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parishioners:
e l i z a
s e a r c h i n g …
w o m a n
u s e d u p .
t h e w o m a n
f o r g o t t e n
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the following events occur somewhere innewfoundland, canada, during the 1990s.
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(1)
“father, son”
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(1)
Complete darkness. A whisper.
VOICE OVER:
What is your name?
My name is Eliza.
No.
No?
No. Your name is Woman. Where do you come from?
A small town. A hundred kilometers back. It's by -
No.
What’s wrong?
You were just born. You died in the Valley. You've been
saved, you just woke up. You have no name. No titles. No
possessions. You are blank.
What is his name?
MAN. He created this place for us. The world was shrinking
and we flew to the receding edge, headed towards the ocean
like lemmings - he scooped us up - he planted us and we
grew. The only thing you need to know about this land is
that Heaven is at arm's reach.
A spotlight on downstage center. Eliza brought to
life. She begins to speak - to recite - her poem
ELIZA
There is a weed that cannot be plucked
Other weeds surround it,
The kind common to you and I,
The kind that are susceptible to the grasp and jolt
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Of a Gardener's hand, or to the wrath of a whacker
But there is one pesky weed that cannot be plucked,
Whacked, cut, or removed at all, no matter how
Vigorous the method
And I see it growing
Straight
Crooked
Sideways
Twisted
The other weeds, the other forms of vegetation
They get vibrant, their faces get dull, they go from
Small to big to small again
Seeds to dust
But this one pesky weed
Does not change height
Does not change color
Black and towering
Shaped like a Vulture's neck in prayer
Centered in a field that is living and dying
Without ever accomplishing one of those
States itself
Well, where do I fit into this vision?
The way I see it there are two variations
One where I am the only one in the whole world who can
Remove the weed; with it gone the field stays a single
Color, a constant height; it has a consistent level of
Life
Another where I sit cross-legged in the field, the
weed
Growing through my thigh, the skin that broke around
it
Turning dark, no blood, instead century old ash flakes
Off
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During Eliza's recital a second spotlight forms,
WOMAN is standing by a counter. She is filling a
kettle. As Eliza is finishing her spotlight
begins to lessen and marries the spotlight that
was on the Woman. The whole stage is now in view.
An old kitchen table - a small counter - two
chairs - a lamp - a old window frame.
WOMAN
Are you going to read that tonight?
ELIZA
I don't know. It's a bit old, but I don't have
anything else to perform. I've never been one to
properly write under pressure. To be honest, I'venever been one to properly write at all.
WOMAN
Tonight is very important, you understand that?
ELIZA
Yes. Some of the other women told me horror stories.
WOMAN
Who have you been talking to?
ELIZA
The ones who knit all day. I've been amazed by them.
They're machines. You all have so much clothing -
socks, hats, even scarfs for the winter. Do they ever
stop?
WOMAN
Through laughter
Listen, they're far too cynical. Then again, if my
greatest offering was my dexterity, I too would be a
bit sour.
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The kettle cries. Woman walks towards it. Picks
it up. She pours two cups of tea.
I'll tell you what; the worse thing that will happen
to you if you disappoint him tonight is that you will
become one of the women who knit. No one has been
turned away for a lack of talent.
The Woman walks to the table, laying the two cups
down.
Sit with me, have some. It will help. Everyone is
nervous their first night.
ELIZA
Thank you.
WOMAN
I take it that you are not a strong singer.
ELIZA
What makes you think that?
WOMAN
You're reciting poetry for him. Poetry is hardly the
most seductive thing you can do with your mouth.
Eliza, surprised, a bit bashful, quickly drinks
her tea. She burns her mouth.
Eliza
Ah -
WOMAN
It's too hot to drink yet!
Pause
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You weren't expecting me to say that, were you? The
other women got you spoiled.
Pause
You should listen to me. He doesn't care for
intellectuals. He's the smartest person to ever
breathe Newfie air - the most holy too - so don't get
him doubting that. It's best if you just sing a song,
maybe bat those eyes. Bewitchment is no sin if you are
not a witch.
ELIZA
I can't sing.
WOMAN
Then good luck with your poem.
The Woman moves towards center stage.
I remember the look he gave me after I finished my
song.
The Woman starts to sing "The Man I Love". She
Breaks
What is the meaning of your poem?
Eliza starts to muse. She becomes poetic in her
delivery. Woman stares with a silent comedic
expression.
ELIZA
I wrote it a long time ago when I was scared. If I
could sing I would of sung it - I would of sung it
every blessed day I was in the Valley. Before I was
born again, before I was here - when dark took jagged
shapes, like the Rockeys, and snow fell even indoors.When I was stuck there, in that terrible place, and
all I could do was fantasize and write. Write and
daydream. Centuries toppled every time I put my pen to
paper, I avoided the present, I snuck out of time, I
skipped right to the end and then back right to the
start. Then, as everything began right in front of me,
I saw a woman take form, beaming of ardor I thought
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impossible. Her spirit was visible and quivering, but
not from fright, it pulsated of grace. There was fire
above her head, and soon, as she got nearer to me, in
the dark... in that dark terrible place, I saw the
harden face of the mountains become papered. I saw
them slowly start to burn, generating daylight. Then
the sun, squeaky as it was, began to be cranked. We
stood there basking in Day and she told me about this
land, about him. After that I had no more need for
poetry, or fantasy, or my name.
WOMAN
The Valley seems awful. Snowstorms indoors. Volcanic
activity and the like. Not to mention fields littered
with black weeds.
ELIZA
There was nothing in that valley. Blank.
WOMAN
Jeeringly
You are from the Bay right? I heard there’s some pesky
weeds out that way.
ELIZA
Decisive
I was born here.
WOMAN
Of course, of course... your tea should be fine now.
Eliza takes a sip
How is it?
ELIZA
It's fine. What kind is it exactly?
WOMAN
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Blueberry.
ELIZA
Well, it's tasty. You haven't had any of yours yet?
WOMAN
I miss coffee. Tea is good, but it's not coffee. What
kind of Holyland is dry? No wine, no coffee.
ELIZA
How long have you been here?
WOMAN
Four years. Almost five. I'm the oldest and the least
wise.
ELIZA
I think you're very wise.
WOMAN
You haven't been around long enough to know. When you
have spent some time here, some time more than a
couple of days, you'll see how dumb you are capable of
being. You start thinking things that don't make any
sense, and then you'll start doing things that don't
make any sense. And soon enough you'll end up being as
clever as the women who knit all day.
ELIZA
You work with the cows, right?
WOMAN
I do.
ELIZA
That's admirable. It takes patience and skill to work
with animals. I used -
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WOMAN
I used to look after him. I didn't spend all day
hauling at cow tits.
ELIZA
Without you there will be no milk for the morning. I
am sure he appreciates that, I am sure he knows your
worth.
WOMAN
Knows my worth?
Woman laughs
You haven't met him yet, have you?
ELIZA
I haven't laid my eyes on him.
WOMAN
Well love, he got bored of me. I was his favourite. I
slept with him in his room, I ate his food, my neck
bore the imprint of his breath. I guess he saw my ass
too much because now he’s got a new favorite. But his
eye is starting to skitter, soon enough he'll take to
a new girl. Maybe it'll be you.
Silence
Where are you from?
ELIZA
I was born he-
WOMAN
You don't need to pull that with me. Who are you
running from?
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ELIZA
No one.
WOMAN
Okay. What are you running from?
Pause
Nobody finds this place by choice, that's all I'm
saying. Something happened to you or something was
missing. God knows I didn't choose this.
Pause
More tea?
ELIZA
You still haven't touched yours.
WOMAN
I didn't ask if I wanted more tea
The Woman walks over to the kettle, she turns the
burner on
Was the kind you had before any good?
ELIZA
Yes.
WOMAN
Did it taste like blueberries?
ELIZA
A lot like blueberries. Is there a patch around?
The Woman walks towards the window frame
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WOMAN
There's some just out that way, over by the side of
the shed. You can't see it well from here but they're
there.
Eliza joins the Woman at the window
That's where he'll take you tonight, the shed. Funny,
it's about the same size as this house and a hell of a
lot nicer. When I think, "shed" I think something
stained with Moose guts and covered in sawdust,
somewhere the wind can sneak on through - cold, damp,
brutal. That ain't a shed. It's built sturdy, it's on
solid ground. A couple pews inside and a nice mural he
painted, the floor carpeted and all.
The Woman faces Eliza
You know the other women will be watching you tonight,
watching you with your poem. They all want the same
thing as you, be weary of that.
The kettle starts going off. The Woman turns back
and looks out the window. Eliza goes to take it
off the burner
Did you want to go see the blueberries? I'll take you,
but only if you really want to. Only if it causes you
to die of joy.
ELIZA
It's getting dark. Tomorrow perhaps?
WOMAN
Yes, it is almost dark. The days are so short now.
Silence
Your tea!
The Woman goes to the kettle. She pours up tea
for Eliza.
ELIZA
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Thank you
WOMAN
Do you like playing cards?
ELIZA
I wasn't sure that type of thing was allowed around
here.
WOMAN
If there is no money involved then it's no business of
the Devil, is it?
ELIZA
I suppose not.
WOMAN
Do you know how to play Eights?
ELIZA
Yes.
WOMAN
Is it popular where your from? Did you play with with
your Mom and Dad?
Silence
Well
Both women sit at the table. Woman begins
shuffling the cards.
This is all we ever done when I was growing up. Friday
and Saturday nights; I'd play cards with Mom, Dad and
my sisters.
She deals, one by one, until they both have
eight.
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Sometimes after school I'd play with a few boys who
lived near my house. They weren't too crazy about
eights, at least that's what they told me. They liked
their cards though, they liked playing poker -
sometimes they'd play strip poker.
Pause
They'd say to me, "Mary, if you play with us, and you
win, we'll give you two dollars each". Now, I was
eleven at the time, they were sixteen. I kept telling
them no. And for eleven, I had a lot of resolve.
But...
Pauses to remember
Persistence, boredom, naiveté, curiosity... mix that
with a good ol' game of cards and before I even turnedtwelve I was getting naked with older boys.
Playing the game.
I got my first boyfriend not long after that. He was
nineteen, I was twelve. Everyone thought it was all
alright, normal even. Maybe it was.
Silence
Pick up two.
ELIZA
No one said a word?
Awkward silence
Change it to spades.
WOMAN
Son of a -
ELIZA
Were you nervous?
WOMAN
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I wasn't. I knew what I was getting into. I knew what
he wanted, what he was looking for.
ELIZA
Who told you about this place?
WOMAN
A woman. She passed through town. She talked a lot
about salvation. A lot about a pretty man outside of
the city who used a lot of pretty words and was
looking for pretty girls. She was what we call a
herder.
ELIZA
I called her Lady Fire.
WOMAN
Red hair.
ELIZA
No one in town had anything close to that color.
WOMAN
You mean the Valley?
Pause
I'm getting there. Mine's getting darker.
Silence
ELIZA
Why do all the girls have red hair?
WOMAN
He likes it. He gets dye brought in from the city
every once in a while, for the new ones. If you're
here your hair is red.
ELIZA
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I don't think it will look any good on me
WOMAN
You're stunning. Don't get on with that foolishness.
If only I was as pretty as you, maybe -
Silence
ELIZA
What is he like?
WOMAN
He's everything she said. Beautiful. Smart, not as
smart as you, but smart. Holy - in his own way - he's
holier than the whole island.
ELIZA
I'm terrified of boring him.
WOMAN
It's strange.
Eliza
What is?
WOMAN
It's strange how much of a myth he is to you. You've
never seen him - you only can go by what the other
women say.
Eliza
So what do you say?
Woman
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He's a god... some of the time. But that lessens the
more you're around him. Don't worry about being
boring, worry about being a burden. You'll feel like a
burden in ways you never thought possible.
ELIZA
Focus back on the game
Skip.
WOMAN
Why did she talk to you?
ELIZA
What?
The Woman knocks on the table
WOMAN
One card. Why did she talk to you? The herder. The
lady with fire above her head. Lady Fire.
ELIZA
I don't know.
WOMAN
She's been told to only talk to those who are looking
for something. The girls with a reputation. The one's
whose names are on the tip of everyone's tongue...
Eliza. What did you do?
ELIZA
I did nothing and I don't know that name.
WOMAN
You did something, you little shit. What was it?
ELIZA
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Nothing.
WOMAN
With a half-smile
Did you hang the family cat?
Silence.
Did you drown a dog?
Silence.
Have you killed someone?
Silence.
Did you fuck the priest?
Silence.
Did you masturbate with the crucifix? Did you -
Eliza slams her hand on the table
ELIZA
Half-ashamed
One card! One time! I chose passion over sense, that's
it!
WOMAN
Vague.
Pause
So you fucked a man who had a wife?
Eliza doesn’t respond.
What was his name?
ELIZA
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Andrew.
WOMAN
You heathen.
Silence
I fold.
The Woman lays her cards down. She grabs her tea
and walks towards the window. After a prolonged
period of silence, she speaks.
He asked me to leave.
ELIZA
Composing herself
Why?
WOMAN
To be a herder. To be a herder and to no longer be a
pastoralist. Nor a lamb. I'll bring more girls to him,
other girls.
ELIZA
Isn't that an honor?
WOMAN
It's not a promotion. I'm being relieved. My holy duty
done. I fucking loved him.
ELIZA
What if you pleaded?
WOMAN
He does not change his mind.
ELIZA
Well do they ever come back?
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WOMAN
No... well, one did, one time, but he turned her away.
Said she spent too much time off of the land. Poison.
He said she was poison.
The Woman finally takes a sip of her tea, now
cold.
The night I sung for him some of the others sung too,
one girl even made a couple of our rabbits disappear,
a real life magician. But that night he came to me,
not to them, but to me. He brought me back to his room
and we ate. We ate each other. Nothing was spared, if
the Lord is up there he pulled the blinds down on us
that night. That night we were ravenous. The things we
didn't do to each other.
The Woman turns to Eliza
What is the weed? The giant weed? Black and towering?
ELIZA
Death. It rots the land so you move from the land. To
a new field.
WOMAN
You're here because you're afraid of dying. Is that
it? Not because you repent, but because you're scared
and you want salvation.
ELIZA
Does it matter why I am here?
WOMAN
No, I suppose not.
Pause
He can't save you from that.
ELIZA
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Maybe not.
WOMAN
Recite it again for me? Will you?
ELIZA
No.
WOMAN
Good. Save your voice. There is a weed that cannot be
plucked. I should do something about it.
The Woman looks visibly shaken. She starts
clawing at her face. Grasping at her throat. Shestumbles
ELIZA
What’s going on? Are you okay?
WOMAN
Blueberries. What a strange allergy. Salicylates.
Blueberries and Aspirin. I was here too long. I could
have sworn I wasn't alone.
ELIZA
Hold on!
Eliza starts yelling out. No one responds. Woman
is lifeless. Lights fade.
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(2)
“the holy spirit”
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(2)
The lights are brought up. Eliza sits at the
table. A woman walks towards her with a cup of
tea.
THE WOMAN
Tea?
ELIZA
No thank you.
THE WOMAN
Alright. How are you feeling?
ELIZA
I feel fine.
THE WOMAN
I'm sorry that this has been your introduction to us.
This does not happen often.
ELIZA
Often?
THE WOMAN
You were great last night. Real brave of you to read
after the day you had.
ELIZA
Thank you.
THE WOMAN
What do you think of him?
ELIZA
I don't know what you're getting at.
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THE WOMAN
Everyone knows he came to you last night.
ELIZA
Do they?
THE WOMAN
The women are curious.
ELIZA
Unconvincing
I like him.
THE WOMAN
Like?
ELIZA
Sorry... I'm just a bit took back by it all.
THE WOMAN
It's okay. I know what it's like. Being caught up with
it. With him. You should of saw his face after I sung
my song. I was his favorite too.
ELIZA
Really?
THE WOMAN
Yes. Do you write often?
ELIZA
I wrote something this morning.
THE WOMAN
When you woke up?
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ELIZA
Yes.
THE WOMAN
Remembering, fondly
I know that feeling. The inspiration that takes you
after your first night together... Will you read it to
me?
ELIZA
I don't think so.
THE WOMAN
Please, I really want to hear it.
ELIZA
I really don’t –
THE WOMAN
Please.
ELIZA
Okay.
Eliza moves to center stage.
There was a weed that could not be plucked
And I thought I had done it
I thought the roots finally gave
I took the hole that remained
As reassurance
It was over. I won.
But out of that hole something with legs
And arms crawled out
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In the sun now,
With proper air,
Its size began to double, triplify even
Our land was rotted regardless
What choice did I have?
Mom, if I had to watch you die
Once more, this time for real,
This time without the help
Of Auntie's prescriptions
And Dad's big hand,
This time with the help of
Proper drugs and proper needles
And a proper man with a
Doctorate
I would have probably, properly died
So I found you,
I already found him
But he is too far away,
And to be quite truthful I
Have become quite cynical
And I doubt the universe even
Could hold another being that has
Managed to fail me, even if omnipotent
And Andrew I am talking about you
If you are man enough to fuck me you're
Man enough to leave her too
So here, my Messy Messiah,
I came on a promise from
A woman who gave me hope
For the first time in
A long time
I read a poem for you
On the advice of someone
I barely knew I batted my eyes
And you came to me,
In the middle of the night
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SILENCE
THE WOMAN
He asked me to leave.
Lights out.
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