Conflict & Communication: More than just
US 10095: Leadership
© Amy Calapa 2015
What comes to mind when you think of the
word conflict?
Is it this?
What does Conflict Mean?
• Conflict can be harmful• Conflict can also be beneficial• Conceptual conflict is beneficial conflict that
critiques ideas, not people
• Conflict within groups can be defined as an interpersonal dispute between or among members of a group
Dangerous Forms of Conflict
• Personality Conflict – an interpersonal dispute arising from differing personality traits
• Resource Conflict – an interpersonal dispute arising from unequal distribution of resources
• Power Conflict – an interpersonal dispute arising from the desire to control the group
• Status conflict – an interpersonal dispute arising from the desire to be recognized within the group
One minute paper exercise
How does conflict make you feel?
How do you respond?
Conflict StylesRe
latio
nshi
ps
Personal Goals
SmoothingWin-Win
Compromising
ForcingWithdrawing
The manner in which a group member typically engaged in disputes with others
0
10
10
What are barriers to positive solutions when we experience
conflict?
Common Barriers to Resolving Conflict
– Our Emotions
• Happy, Sad, Fear, Guilt, Shame,
– Personal Agendas
– Judgment
– Others?
1. Use assertive communication1. Passive – lacks sufficient self-respect to defend
his or her rights in a dispute2. Aggressive – concern for personal rights
outweighs concerns for the rights of others3. Assertive – self-interest is balanced by concern
for others, speaks up yet also listens
How to have Constructive Conflict
How to have Constructive Conflict
2. Use your best SPEAKING skills– use first-person pronouns– Convey your frame of reference– Present your ideas clearly and concisely– Describe your feelings, don’t express them– Describe behaviors, don’t judge the person– Request and pay attention to feedback
3. Use your best LISTENING skills– Communicate your intention to listen– Listen with our whole person– Paraphrase ideas/feelings of the sender
4. Jointly Define the Conflict– What is the nature of the problem?
How to have Constructive Conflict
How to have Constructive Conflict
5. Encourage Negotiation in Good Faith– Mutual trust between parties– Understand the benefits to finding a solution– And the costs to not finding one
6. Confront in order to reach an agreement– Communicate directly, honestly, and assertively
which takes maturity to engage in constructive confrontation
Having Difficult Conversations
Behavior-Feelings-Reason
When you ___________, I feel _____________, because
_______________________.
I Messages
When you ______________, I feel __________. I would prefer
___________________________.
References
Komives, S.R., Lucas, N., McMahon, T. R. (2013) Exploring Leadership: For college students who want to make a
difference. (3rd ed.). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Bjorkquist, B. (2011). Interpersonal and group dynamics: A practical guide to building an effective team. (2nd
ed.). Toronto, ON Canada: Edmond Montgomery Publications Limited.
