William Mark Copiesunoriginal Harvard MBA and CEO for Hire - goofy
ties, orange tan and loves beach shirts Leigh Anne Lofton
Ivy League grad, short bou�ant style
highlighted hair-don’ts
Georgia BovineHeafty & BitterSmiles alot but
never told a joke in her life
DIGITAL MARKETING - PRIVATE - DO NOT CROSS LINE - PRIVATEDO NOT CROSS LINE - PRIVATE - ADVERTISING - DO NOT CROSS
Episode 1May 2014
A G I L E M A R K E T I N G I N M O T I O N
Counter BillsCFO and gambler addict, overweight sleeping with Exec.
Assistant
Barbara Smith-Thompson
No brains, no personality,
paperwork Nazi
BurtonLives in Excel and overcomplicates every project with
theoretical Widgets-Gadgets
WeezyJoe Dirt Dressed
as Lil Wayne designer /
programmer
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l digital �ow modeling & toilet water logistics w
ww.unfunnel.com
UFlush
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UFLush - Series for the business unStupidThe leader in digital �ow modeling and toilet water logistics... and a guide to who you're really selling as a B2B persona.
INTRODUCING THECURRENT WORK FAMILY
Episode 1May 2014
A G I L E M A R K E T I N G I N M O T I O N
the leader in digita
l digital �ow modeling & toilet water logistics www.unfunnel.com
UFlush
www.unfunnel.com/uFlush 1
*Georgia Bovine, COO - Former secretary to Bills, hefty and bitter, Smith-Thompson helped resolve an issue with her direct that led to upward mobility in a position that has no function, makes a lot of calls and never misses a meeting, smiles a lot but has never told a joke in her life.
© 2014, Unfunnel.com, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
The COO* sets up the all employee mandatory town hall speech announcing a new marketing focus.
WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL NATIONAL SALES MEETING -
THIS YEAR CALLED THE “UCARE CONFERENCE”
INTRODUCING THECURRENT WORK FAMILY Episode 1
May 2014
A G I L E M A R K E T I N G I N M O T I O N
www.unfunnel.com/uFlush 2
(CMO RAISES HIS HAND) “I KNOW THESE STATS LOOK
GOOD, BUT YOU CAN’T PROVE SOCIAL
MEDIA REALLY WORKED FOR SALES”
the leader in digita
l digital �ow modeling & toilet water logistics www.unfunnel.com
UFlush
THIS YEAR WE ARE OFFERING AN
OPERATIONAL EXCELLENCE
BONUS.
IT’S A NEW WORLD, OVER 80% OF
ECOMMERCE TRANSACTIONS
CAN BE ATTRIBUTED AT
SOME POINT TO A SOCIAL POST OR
SHARE.
DJ Webb – newest design mind on the iDoodle web team – steps up…
© 2014, Unfunnel.com, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
INTRODUCING THECURRENT WORK FAMILY Episode 1
May 2014
A G I L E M A R K E T I N G I N M O T I O N
www.unfunnel.com/uFlush 3
LET’S TOAST, AS OF TODAY, EVERYONE HAS A NEW TITLE
– “MINE IS CEO, CUSTOMER
SATISFACTION”
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l digital �ow modeling & toilet water logistics www.unfunnel.com
UFlush
CMO, THANKS FOR THE LEAD IN. THIS
UCARE CONFERENCE DEMANDS A NEW
FOCUS ON CUSTOMER SATISFACTION.
The COO and CEO proceed to roll out yet another restructuring plan.
© 2014, Unfunnel.com, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
INTRODUCING THECURRENT WORK FAMILY Episode 1
May 2014
A G I L E M A R K E T I N G I N M O T I O N
www.unfunnel.com/uFlush 4
WE NEED TO MAKE SOME BUDGET CUTS BUT THERE
WILL BE SOME ADDITIONAL BONUS INCENTIVES TO
BALANCE INCOME LOSS.
THERE MAY BE SOME LAYOFFS IN THE MARKETING
AND IT DEPARTMENTS TO ACCOMMODATION THIS
RESTRUCTURE.
the leader in digita
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UFlush
THERE WILL BE A NEW CUSTOMER INSIGHTS OPTIMIZATION
TEAM* FOCUSED ON MEASURING CUSTOMER
SATISFACTION.
*clueless overpaid PHD silo, with no connection to real CRM data, introducing new studies that they farm out to Forrester – i.e., where the money went)
© 2014, Unfunnel.com, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
INTRODUCING THECURRENT WORK FAMILY
COMMENTS
Episode 1May 2014
A G I L E M A R K E T I N G I N M O T I O N
www.unfunnel.com/uFlush 5
CUSTOMER CONCEPT BOXES WILL BE ADDED TO
EACH FLOOR, EACH TICKET FILLED OUT GOES STRAIGHT
TO THE TOP!!!
the leader in digita
l digital �ow modeling & toilet water logistics www.unfunnel.com
UFlush
The CEO calls up the current and clueless IT team* for the next blow..
SEE WHO CEO WILLIAM COPIES
PUTS IN CHARGE OF THE NEW UPRODUCT
DESIGN TEAM IN:
EPISODE 2“THE EPIC AGILE
BUSINESS FAILURE”
WE ARE ALSO CREATING A NEW IT DIVISION FOR CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE
CALLED “UPRODUCT DESIGN.”
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
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