domestic violence 101 webinar - kansas home visiting

Domestic Violence 101 Webinar

January 20, 2016 2:00 - 3:30 pm

Presented by:

Shelly Newman, Parent Child Program Coordinator for Kansas Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence

This project is supported by the Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) under the Maternal, Infant and Early Childhood Home Visiting (MIECHV) Program FY’15

Competitive Grant (grant D89MC28269, $9,400,000) to the Kansas Department of Health and Environment (KDHE). This information or content and conclusions are those of the author and should not be construed as the official position of

policy of, nor should any endorsements be inferred by KDHE, HRSA, HHS, or the U.S. Government.

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About KCSDV

• Statewide network working to prevent and eliminate sexual assault (SA), domestic violence (DV), dating violence and stalking in Kansas.

• 29 member agencies that provide direct services to survivors (victims) of DV, SA, and stalking in all 105 Kansas counties.

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About KCSDV

• Statewide, private non-profit

• Advocacy organization

• 29 DV/SA programs

• Technical assistance

• Training

• Resource development

• Public policy advocacy

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KCSDV Projects

• Advocacy

• Children & Youth

• Criminal Justice

• Education and Training

• Immigration

• Legal Advocacy

• Outreach Advocacy

• Prevention

• Protection Orders

• Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner & Sexual Assault Response Team

• Underserved Communities

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KCSDV Member Programs

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KCSDV Member Program Services

• 24/7 Hotline • Crisis Intervention • Personal Advocacy • Medical Advocacy • Court Advocacy • Law Enforcement Advocacy • Shelter Services • Supportive Counseling • Support Group • Parent & Child Advocacy • Child/Youth Advocacy • Community Awareness & Education

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Domestic Violence (DV)

• DEFINITION: Domestic violence (battering) is a pattern of abusive and coercive behavior used to gain dominance, power, and control over an intimate partner. – It includes the use of illegal and legal behaviors

and tactics that undermine the victim’s sense of self, free will, and safety.

– Battering behavior can impact other family members and can be used in other family relationships.

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Kansas Stats

• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the US between 15-44 years of age. (Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Intimate partner violence [online].

[cited 2011 Jan 07]. Available from URL: http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/ index.cfm?ty=tp&tid=971#summary)

• 951 DV Victims Served in One Day in Kansas o 430 domestic violence victims (230 children and 200

adults) found refuge in emergency shelters or transitional housing provided by local domestic violence programs.

o 521 adults and children received non-residential assistance and services, including counseling, legal advocacy, and children’s support groups. (2014 Domestic Violence Counts: A 24-Hour Census of Domestic

Violence Shelters and Services )

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What do we know?

• DV crosses all class, race, lifestyle, and religious lines. The only clear commonality is gender. Professionals are not immune.

• Women are at significantly greater risk of domestic

violence than men. (National Institute of Justice, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the Bureau of Justice Statistics)

• 1 in 4 women have been the victim of severe

physical violence (e.g., hit with a fist or something hard, beaten, slammed against something) by an intimate partner.

(CDC, National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), 2011)

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Signs of Domestic Violence

• Physical violence

• Sexual violence

• Coercion and threats

• Emotional abuse

• Isolation

• Using children

• Economic abuse

• Male privilege/entitlement

• Minimizing, denying, blaming

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Domestic Violence

• Domestic violence

is a pattern of

abusive and

coercive behavior

used to

gain/maintain

power and control

over an intimate

partner or former intimate partner.

#1

Power and Control Wheel

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Joe

Susie

Isolate from family and friends

Controls all the money

Use of the children

Rape

Hiding documents

Name calling Physical Abuse

Stalking

Monitoring Activities Controlling Medications/Services

Reproductive Coercion

Hides money Sneaks phone calls- Hidden phone

Fights Back Accommodates

Make copies of documents Leave

Hide kids

Comply

Resist

Ignore verbal abuse Lie about where she is going or what she is doing

Stay in the relationship

LOOKS LIKE MUTUAL VIOLENCE

Patsy

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Children & Domestic Violence

•Using size to intimidate mother or the children.

•Using looks, actions and gestures to cause fear within the family.

•Destroying property to show authority, intimidation or punishment.

The Wheel as it Applies to Children

•Humiliating mother in front of the children

•Undermining the value of the mother (i.e. making the mother believe she is an unfit mother, telling mother the children don’t love her.)

•Being inconsistent in visitation, discipline or parenting.


• Not letting mother see or spend time with the children.

•Limiting opportunities for mother & children to seek help for outside sources.

•Controlling access to trustworthy adults.


•Making children believe mother is the blame for the violence.

•Normalizing the violence or make light of the violence.

•Pitting family members against other family members.


•Making mother believe anything that happens to the children is her fault.

•Undermining mother’s efforts to parent the children.

•Exposing children to the abuse (i.e., through direct observation, overhearing or knowing about the abuse.)


•Teaching the children not to respect mother.

•Teaching that women are weak or stupid.

•Forcing mother and all female children to do house hold duties.

•Creating rules for everyone within the household to follow and changing the rules without warning.


•Controlling the family finances or withholding information about the family finances.

•Creating poor credit for the mother so that she is unable to get financing on her own.

•Withholding child support.


•Threatening that DCF will take the children away.

•Making threats of suicide or other self- harm.

•Making threats to harm mother or the children if the mother leaves him.


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Batterers’ Use of Children

Batterers’ Use of Children

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• Abuse of the mother

– Children may see, hear, or become involved in

• Using the children against the mother

• Direct abuse of children

– Co-occurrence of child maltreatment and DV

Battering Tactics & Red Flags

• Abusive parents present well. – Skilled at maintaining control (e.g., tend to perform well

when being observed).

• An abusive parent might: – Be unwilling to understand another’s perspective.

– Expect the child to meet the parent’s needs.

– Advocate or adhere to strict gender roles.

– Patronize the other party, counsel, and even the court.

– Attempt to create an alliance with you.

– Minimize, deny, blame others for, or excuse inappropriate behavior.

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Child-Related Tactics

• Intentional undermining of the mother/child relationship

• Teaching children to disrespect mother and approve defiant behaviors

• Manipulating children into believing their mother is the source of the violence

• Threatening and manipulating the children (e.g., probe for information, relay messages, threaten to harm)

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Child-Related Tactics, cont’d

• Seeking custody to punish the mother

• Seeking custody to maintain control

• Using custody or visitation to harass the mother

• Claiming that unfounded DV or child abuse claims were made falsely and maliciously by the mother

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Child Abuse & DV

• Child maltreatment is closely linked to adult DV — more than 30 studies illustrate a co-occurrence rate of between 30 and 70%.

See Appel & Holden, The Co-Occurrence of Spouse and Physical Child Abuse: A Review and Appraisal, 12(4) Journal

of Family Psychology 578-599 (1998). See also Bancroft, L., & Silverman, J. (2002). The Batterer As Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

• “Exposure to battering is among the strongest

indicators of risk of incest victimization.” Dalton et al., citing Bancroft & Miller

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Child Abuse & DV, cont’d

• “[A]llegations of sexual abuse among families in dispute over custody and visitation are no more likely to be determined false than are allegations of child sexual abuse in the general population.”

Theonnes & Tjaden, The Extent, Nature, and Validity of Sexual Abuse Allegations in Custody/ Divorce Disputes, Child Abuse & Neglect, 14, pp. 151-163, 1990.

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• Only 1% to 6% of all child sexual abuse allegations in custody and visitation disputes are maliciously fabricated.

Thoennes & Tjaden, 1990. Trocme, N. & Bala, N., False allegations of abuse and neglect when parents separate, Child Abuse & Neglect, 29(12), pp. 1333-

1345, 2005. Faller, K. C., Possible Explanations For Child Sexual Abuse Allegations in Divorce, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 61(1),

pp. 86-91, 1991. Trocme, M., McPhee, D., Tam, K. K., & Hay, T., Ontario Incidence Study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect, Toronto: Institute for

the Prevention of Child Abuse, 1994 as cited in Bala, N. & Schuman, J., Allegations of Sexual Abuse When Parents Have Separated, Canadian Family Law Quarterly, Vol. 17, 1999 and in Bala, N., & Schuman, J., Allegations of Child Abuse in the Context of Parental Separation: A Discussion Paper, presented to Family, Children and Youth Section of the Canadian Department of Justice, 2001.

Bala, N., Mitnick, M., Trocme, N., & Houston, C., Sexual abuse allegations and parental separation: Smokescreen or fire?, Journal of Family Studies, Vol., 13., Issue 1, pp. 26-56, 2007.

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• Abusive fathers are 16 times more likely than mothers to maliciously fabricate allegations of child abuse. – 21% of such allegations made by fathers against mothers

are considered by investigators to have been maliciously fabricated, versus 1.3% of such allegations made by mothers against fathers.

Trocme, M., McPhee, D., Tam, K. K., & Hay, T, Ontario Incidence Study, cited in Bala, N., & Schuman, J., 1999

and 2001.

Thoennes & Tjaden, 1990.

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What We Know • Batterer will likely batter someone else. • Children will likely have unsupervised time with

the batterer. • Mom may feel best able to protect children while

in the home. • The best way to ensure the safety of children is to

ensure the safety of the protective parent. • Batterers use children and custody litigation as a

way to further abuse. • Many batterers’ motivation to intimidate and

control mother through children increases after separation, due to loss of other control tactics.

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Results…

• Decreased parent availability

• Batterer may not meet the needs of the children because of stereotypical beliefs about who is responsible for parenting

• Chronic, elevated levels of tension and stress

• Outside resources and support withheld or restricted

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Survivors as Parents

• Research suggests that despite the tremendous barriers and obstacles women who are battered face, they continue to nurture their children and build better lives for themselves and their families. (Sullivan, et. al., 2000)

• Being a victim of domestic violence does not equate to being a neglectful parent. (Goodmark &

Rosewater, 2008)

Protective Strategies Note: This is not an exhaustive list or a “checklist” of things the survivor

needs to do

• Reaching out for help

• Staying active in children’s lives (school, etc.)

• Leaving the relationship

• Staying in the relationship

• Seeking legal assistance

• Maintaining family traditions

Protective Strategies, cont’d Note: This is not an exhaustive list or a “checklist” of things the survivor

needs to do

• Maintaining children’s routines

• Maintaining medical appointments

• Trying to find help for the batterer

• Working with DV/SA advocacy program

• Seeking safe shelter

DV

Probe for info

Child abuse

Exposure

Abuse pets Undermine parenting

efforts

Threaten to take children

away

Target child

Telling about abuse

Send outside/to room to play

Deflect attention from kids

Discipline by Mom

Age-appropriate

play Seeks

Intervention

Leaves Rel’t

Stays in Rel’t

Safety plan with kids

Complies

Parental alienation

Parentified

Non-compliance

Uncooperative

Sides with batterer

Lack of Supervision

Angry

Refusing Services

Needy

Nothing

Upper hand in custody

No financial support

Maintain routine

Challenges batterer

Co-dependent

Aggressor

Putting kids at risk

Crazy

Lacks self esteem

Isolate

“The emotional recovery of children who have been exposed to domestic violence appears to depend on the quality of their relationship with the non-battering parent more than on any other single factor.”

- Bancroft & Silverman

See also review of studies in Heller, S., Larrieu, J., D'Imperio, R., & Boris, N. (1998). Research on resilience to child maltreatment: Empirical considerations. Child Abuse and Neglect, 23(4) 321-338. See also Bancroft, L., & Silverman, J. (2002). The batterer as parent. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Resources • Local domestic violence & sexual assault

programs – http://www.kcsdv.org/find-help.html

• KCSDV – www.kcsdv.org

• Kansas Crisis Hotline – 1-888-END ABUSE (1-888-363-2287)

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Shelly Newman Parent Child Program Coordinator

634 SW Harrison Topeka, KS 66603

www.kcsdv.org 785-232-9784

[email protected]

Thank You!

Contact Information

domestic violence 101 webinar - kansas home visiting

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