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BUILDS HAPPY HOMESwomansera.comVol 45, Issue No. 1110

FEBRUARY 2021

14135 Artic

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20 IS IT LOVE, OR IS ITINSECURITY?BY RAMA

BOOST YOURHEALTHBY KARAN KAKKAD

AN OLD FRIEND!BY Dr. PREMPAL SINGHVALYAN

34 68

Cookery

TEENAGE WONDERBY SUJATHA RAO

DESIRE AND FIRE!BY RAMZI

SHARING TOOLKIT!BY RICHA GOEL

19 PACHOULI SPA –HOLISTIC WELLNESSWITH SKIN, HAIR,SLIMMING, AYURVEDABY KHUSHBOO JAIN

31 WE ARE IN A SPACE &TIME WITNESSING ATECHNOLOGY LEDHUMAN REVOLUTION

38 THE SEX PYRAMIDBY FAIZAN ALEE

51 A MAGNIFICENTACTORBY HIMSHIKHA SHUKLA

54 BRIDAL SKIN CAREBY MONIKA AGARWAL

59 TIME FOR SELF-TALKBY RICHA GOEL

62 THE RISK OF SOCIALISOLATIONBY MONIKA AGARWAL

66 SIZE MATTERS!BY BIMLA ARYA

84 SOCIAL DISTANCINGBY SHALINI BHARDWAJ

92 WHY DO WOMENLOSE THEIR SEXUALDESIRE?BY A. KARTIKEYAN

96 WEDDING IN THETIME OF CORONABY SUJATHA RAO

102 MANY AT A TIME-THE MOBILERELATIONSHIPS!BY KALPNA GUPTA

106 E-WASTEMANAGEMENT IN INDIABY ADITI MAHESHWARI

108 MISCARRIAGE ANDLOSSBY RACHNA CHHOKAR

110 HOW POSITIVITYMAKES YOU HEALTHYBY NIDHI JAIN

● Chinese greens with burnt garlic and pine nuts

● Asian corn starter

● Japanese negi (leeks) patties

● Bao vegetarian

● Japanese negi (leeks) patties

● Chiilie chicken Bao

● Salt and pepper Broccoli with fried cashews

● Bhutanese kewa/emadatshi pepper and potato chessydeite Leek and mushroom soup

● Rice paper rolls

● Deviled prawns served with coriander rice

● Asian style cauliflower

● Nepalese kohlrabi - ganthgobi preparation

● Eggplant with leek and sesame seeds

● Pad Thai noodles with grilled pineapple and Thai sauce

AMAZING PAN ASIANRECIPES

... And many more inside

The names of characters used in allfiction and semi-fiction articles arefictitious.

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6CINEPLEX

Fiction

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Features

Fash

ion

18 THE INCIDENT ICANNOT FORGET

32 PERSONAL PROBLEMS58 SILENCE OF THE

VALLEY60 KIDS WINTER WEAR! –

TODDLER67 NEIGHBOURS ALL82 TEENACHE87 BEAUTY QUERIES

91 KICTEN QUERIES95 I AM PREGNANT99 YOUR BODY105 CHILD CHALLENGES112 CLASSIFIEDS

100GO FORTH AND

BE FABULOUS

37 HOW I MET MY HUSBAND

50 HOW I SAVED MY MARRIAGE

90 MOST UNFORGETABLE EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE

112 HOW I WAS DUPED114 AS YOU SAY

24 UNFRIENDBY BHAVNA GAJBE

36 HOPEBY SREE KUMAR

88 THE BUS DRIVEBY RANA PREET GILL

SOFT SEXY GLAM MAKEUP!

TEMPTING FARE!

Whether a known orunknown partner onealways faces the jitters

and anxiety when they are takingthings to another level. We tell youhow to ease yourself intolovemaking act.

Love OverturesMaybe you've known the man

since primary school or perhaps he'ssomeone you just met at a party.Either way., the chemistry betweenyou is crackling, filling the air withsexual tension, lovely anticipation,and the delicious confusion ofwondering if this encounter will (orshould) be concluded by makinglove. The flirtatious fun leading to alover's embrace requires that bothparties send the right signals toeach other and then correctlyinterpret the code. Body languagehelps translate amorous messages.The setting may be as mundane as abus stop or a laundry room, but ifyour bodies are moving closer andcloser and a velvety gaze blanketsyour glances, you're communicatingmore than a mutual interest in cold-water washing.We also speak of sexto one another through thelanguage of touch. The interplay offingers, a soft brush of theshoulder, the straightening of a tie,or the ruffling of his hair - all thesesay more than the flirtiest words.Then comes the response. Theindividual who reciprocates or sighswhen stroked indicates thatovertures are welcome, while theman or woman who shrinksabruptly away is declining anadvance.

After the first flush of sexualdesire, people ought to let a littletime pass before declaring theirintentions. Flirt time heightens theaura of romance and sparesembarrassment should you havemisread the situation. He may justlike you, so you need to dip slowlyinto each other's personality toknow if positive vibrations areexplicitly sexual. Should you feeluncomfortable or edgy now, feeling

If a first rendezvous takes place atyour flat, you've certainadvantages. You're in charge of thelighting, music and the wine, youknow how to shine in yourenvironment, and you won't have tohunt around for mouthwash ormoisturiser.

Still, another potentiallyawkward exercise awaits you -getting undressed. Occasionally, anew lover might suggest undressingyou or that you undress him. Thiscan be lovely if you're not encasedin a snare of buttons, zippers, andboot laces. A fairly graceful way toslip out of your clothes is to excuseyourself and take a shower.Warmth, interest, and a sincereappreciation of him are moreimportant (and certainly lessthreatening) than a series of R-ratedstunts.

Just being there for a man -wholeheartedly, enthusiastically,and receptively - can make him feelmore secure and loving than thegaudiest display of eroticismpyrotechnics. Sometimes the firstsexual meeting can result in abreath-taking explosion; moreoften, though, the event is markedby a certain awkwardness that willresolve itself with time andfamiliarity.

And occasionally, you realise allthe tricks in the Kama Sutra won'tmake the two of you fizz. Even if theexperience is deeply disappointing,be gracious as you slip out of hisarms. Not everyone is sexuallycompatible and if he has otherendearing qualities, he might makea good friend.

Woman’s Era ● February 2021 5

Ex-friend new look. By Dr. Prempal Singh 'Valyan'

AnOld Friend!

We

IF A FIRST RENDEZVOUSTAKES PLACE AT YOURFLAT, YOU'VE CERTAINADVANTAGES. YOU'REIN CHARGE OF THELIGHTING, MUSIC ANDTHE WINE, YOU KNOWHOW TO SHINE IN YOURENVIRONMENT, ANDYOU WON'T HAVE TOHUNT AROUND FORMOUTHWASH ORMOISTURISER.perhaps that kisses may be enough,then don't hesitate to postpone anymore serious embrace. Never feelyou must proceed because you'vegiven him a tacit go-ahead. Asincere and affectionate "Let's notrush into things. I'd rather we kneweach other better", is all you needsay.

To go through with it out of asense of duty, courtesy, or the fearthat if you don't, you'll never seethe man again, is always a mistake.

CinePlex

First Pic Of Anushka Sharma With HerNewborn Daughter Goes Viral On SocialMedia

Virat Kohli and AnushkaSharma recently embracedparenthood for the very

first time and the two are definitelyon cloud nine now. They have beenmarried for over three years andannounced their pregnancy earlierin 2020. Anushka Sharma gave birthto a baby girl on Monday i.e. 11thJanuary this year and everyone hasbeen eagerly waiting for her pics tocome out. Now, if a reportpublished in Bollywood shaadis isanything to go by, a fan page ofVirushka has shared a picture ofAnushka Sharma with her newborndaughter. In the picture, AnushkaSharma can be seen holding hernewborn daughter in her arms,who is wrapped in a white clothand head covered with a cap.

Ever since the couple hasmade it official, there havebeen many speculations

about their wedding. The two havebeen snapped together onnumerous occasions and haveofficially announced theirrelationship but have alwaysdodged the marriage question.Recently, there were reports thatVarun Dhawan and Natasha Dalalare going to tie the knot thismonth in Alibaug. Now, as per thelatest reports, the wedding ishappening this month only and it isgoing to be a grand affair.According to a report in Pinkvilla,Varun Dhawan and Natasha Dalalwill be exchanging the weddingvows on January 24. The reportsuggests that Dhawan’s have sentout e-invites to their close relativesasking them to block their datesfrom January 22-25.

Wedding Confirmed: Varun Dhawan AndNatasha Dalal To Marry On This Date

From Bollywood... Deepika Padukone Reveals She Is Just A ‘12th-Pass’: “I Was Already ASuccessful Model”

Deepika Padukone is one ofthe most successfulactresses in Bollywood.

Considering her success andwhere she is at the moment, itwon’t be wrong if we believe thatshe has no regrets in life. Butthat’s not the case. Even thisactress has some big regrets inher life and she revealed thesame. During the launch ofveteran actor Hema Malini’sbiography “Hema Malini: Beyondthe Dream Girl”, Deepika hadshared that she is just a 12th-passand couldn’t complete thegraduation because of her workcommitments. She said, “Even my11th and 12th, I struggled to finish.I was already a very successfulmodel, and I was based inBengaluru but I had to keeptravelling to Delhi and Mumbaiforwork”.

Ranbir Kapoor And Alia Bhatt Are NotGetting Engaged: “It is not true,” Says,Randhir Kapoor

Alia Bhatt, Ranbir Kapoor,and his family memberswere spotted at Mumbai’s

private airport. Soon, Alia Bhatt’sfamily members and RanveerSingh and Deepika Padukone alsoflew off to Rajasthan where thecouple Ranbir and Alia went forthe New Year celebration. Sincethe morning, it is being reportedthat Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoorare getting engaged today inRanthambore. However, Ranbir’suncle Randhir Kapoor has put anend to all the speculations. Whilespeaking to Indian Express,Randhir Kapoor stated that RanbirKapoor, Alia Bhatt, and theirfamily members have gone for avacation in Rajasthan, not for theengagement. It is not true.

Kangana Ranaut Takes It Out On KaranJohar After He Appoints Rajeev Masand AsDharma’s COO

Karan Johar confirmed thenews of Rajeev joining hisventure as COO, actres

Kangana Ranaut lashes out asfilmmaker for appointing Rajeev inhis venture. Kangana Ranautwrote, “Rajeev wrote the mostpoisonous blind items aboutSushant and me, he openly lickedmediocre star kids and gavenegative reviews to genuinelygood films, even as a journalist hewas always KJO minion. Good, heleft journo facade and joined KJOofficially,” “This is how moviemafia hijacks key people in everyplace, agents/critics/journalists/distributors/award jury they planttheir minions in your personal lifeto ruin you from every angle, theyban you and ruin your image, manysuccumb few survive. Need strictlaws in the movie industry.”

Richa Chadha Again In Controversy:Apologizes After Receiving Backlash OverCasual Casteism: ‘It Was An UnintentionalOversight’

The trailer of Madam ChiefMinister starring RichaChadha received quite some

rave responses from everyone.However, the film found it in thehot waters as they stereotypicallyshowed the Dalit community. Theposter received a lot of backlashfrom netizens as Richa’s characteris shown holding a broom in herhand while some were irked withthe use of the word ‘untouchable’on the poster. With so muchgoing on, Richa Chadha releases astatement saying that ‘it was aregrettable and completelyunintentional oversight’. Sheapologized for the same andmentioned that this film wasmade for love.

Ranveer Singh and DeepikaPadukone are a power coupleand have been surprising

their fans by posting some lovey-dovey posts on social media.However, the two kept theirrelationship a secret for over fiveyears without making anythingofficial. It was only in the year thatthey were planning their weddingthat the two had made thingsofficial. Recounting how she initiallyhad multiple reservations includingtrust issues, in an earlier interview,Deepika Padukone had toldFilmfare, “It was not about him. Itwas about whether I was ready tocommit to a relationship. BecauseI’d been in several relationshipsbefore and many times my trust wasbroken. When I met Ranveer, I wasexhausted.”

Saif And Kareena’s New House To HaveTaimur’s Own Living Space And Nursery For2nd Baby: Interior Designer B

efore expanding the family,every couple thinks of theliving space and how they

will make the home better for thenew one. Kareena Kapoor Khan andSaif Ali Khan, who are expectingtheir second child, are also set toupgrade their home before the newone comes in. Now, the interiordesigner Dashini Shah has talkedabout the interiors of the newhome that the couple is currentlybusy getting built-in SatguruSharan. She said, “They like theirspaces to feel like their traveldiaries. Everything that they haveat home is something they havecollected over time, and it has amemory or a story attached to it.Like, they love England, they likethe colonial-classic style of decor.They also don’t like anything loud.Like their Fortune Heights’ home,even their new house has a library,artworks, antiques, candles, and acertain kind of furniture.”

Deepika Padukone Reveals How She FellIn Love With Ranveer Singh: “ManyTimes My Trust Was Broken”

Priyanka Chopra Finally Broke Her SilenceOver 10 Year Age Gap With Husband NickJonas

Priyanka Chopra and NickJonas are an ideal couplethat broke societal

stereotypes and married eachother in 2018. One of the biggeststereotypes that they broke wasaround the age gap that the twohad. Now, Priyanka Chopra hasfinally come out and spoken aboutthe age gap and what she feelsabout the same. In an interviewwith Sunday Times, PriyankaChopra was asked whether the 10-year age gap between Nick Jonasand her was a bigger gap tobridge than any culturaldifferences, Priyanka Chopra saidthat none of it was a hurdle. Shesaid, “Nick took to India like a fishto water. But just like a normalcouple, you have to understandeach other’s habits and what eachother likes. So it’s more of anadventure than trying to figureout hurdles. None of it was thathard.”

Pankaj Tripathi has proven hismettle in acting by givingbreathtaking roles in several

movies. And his presence on theOTT platform is just phenomenal.In an interview with HindustanTimes, Pankaj Tripathi opened upabout playing a lead role for thefirst time in a film titled Kaagaz. Hestated that a lead role may havecome after a long time in the filmindustry for Pankaj but he did notfeel ‘restless’ in his desire for it.“Main santush Jeev hu (I am acontent man). I am satisfied withwhat I have. I don’t worry about ittoo much. Of course, everyonewants to succeed in life, be in abetter position than they are in life.But I am satisfied wherever I am.Chahat zaroor thi lekin bechaininahi thi,” he said.

Pankaj Tripathi On Playing Lead Role InKaagaz: “No One Would Have ThoughtThat A Guy Like Me Could Be Lead Actor”

Bollywood actor Kajol hasbeen winning hearts withher stunning performance in

the films since her debut. Kajolwho was linked to many actorsduring her early years of actingmarried Ajay Devgn two decadesago. The couple is now happilyliving their married life and has adaughter Nysa and son Yug. Butdid you know? Kajol’s fatherShomu Mukherjee was against herdecision to marry Ajay Devgn at 24.In a recent interview with Mid-Day,Kajol revealed that her father didnot want her to marry at the ageof 24 as he wanted her to pursueher acting career. The actormentioned that her dad wantedher to work more before takingthe big step. She then shared thatit was her mom Tanuja, whobecame her biggest supporter.Kajol disclosed that her motherasked her to go with her gut andshe did exactly what she wantedto do.

Kapil Sharma Announces His Netflix Debut,Says, “I Always Wanted To, But I Didn’tHave Their Number”

We

Kapil Sharma is the mostpopular comedian in Indiaand has been entertaining

everyone with his comic timingfor many years. He also made hisappearance in two Bollywoodmovies, one of them being a hit atthe box office. Meanwhile, he gotmarried to Ginni Chatrath andalso had a baby. Now, he hadannounced good news yesterday.While everyone was expectinghim to share the good newsabout his second child, KapilSharma has surprised everyonewith his Netflix debut.

Kajol Reveals Her Father Opposed HerMarriage To Ajay Devgn At 24; Shares HerMom Tanuja Was The Biggest Supporter

One of the best parts of eatingreal foods is the seasonalbenefits that come along

with it. The reason I use the word‘’real’’ with food is that in the last25-30 years we have seen a sharprise in the intake of artificial orprocessed foods that are definitelynot real. And one of the mainreasons why we have an epidemicof lifestyle diseases is our wrongdiet. So, the first step to becominghealthy or reversing disease is tostop eating artificial or processedfoods and start consuming morereal or natural foods.

Different seasonal foods havedifferent health benefits and withwinters round the corner, these sixseasonal foods we should all beconsuming this winter.

Radish: Excellent for fatty liverand kidney disease, Radish is anexcellent source of antioxidants andcompounds to protect your cellsfrom damage. As an excellentdiuretic, the radish helps in treatingseveral kidney disorders, bywashing away toxins gathered inkidneys and blood. Regularly eatingradish can help improve the qualityof your skin too.

Purple Cabbage: Purple cabbageis a nutrient-rich vegetable linked toa variety of health benefits. Theseinclude reduced inflammation, ahealthier heart, stronger bones,

improved gut function, and perhapseven a lower risk of certain cancers.It is also extremely effective forreversing diabetes and kidneyissues. Purple cabbage helps Betacells in our pancreas make moreInsulin naturally and thereby you donot have to depend more on Insulininjections.

Turnip: Turnips are loaded withfiber and vitamins K, A, C, E, B1, B3,B5, B6, B2, and folate (one of the Bvitamins), as well as minerals likemanganese, potassium, magnesium,iron, calcium, and copper. Turnipshave glucosinolates, plant-basedchemicals that may help prevent allkinds of cancer, from breast toprostate. Turnips are also rich in theantioxidant lutein which keeps youreyes healthy and wards offproblems like macular degenerationand cataracts.

Broccoli: Broccoli is very high infiber, which aids in digestion,prevents constipation, maintainslow blood sugar, and weight loss. Italso helps in improving the gutbacteria and thereby boostsimmunity. Apart from being veryeffective in reversing diabetes,Broccoli is also helpful in reversingkidney issues, fatty liver, highcholesterol, and many cancers.Broccoli is also a source of twocrucial nutrients that help improvebrain function. Vitamin K helps to

strengthen cognitive abilities whileCholine has been found to improvememory – people who eat plenty ofbroccolis perform better onmemory tests.

Green Peas: This vegetable isloaded with A, B1, B6, C, and asupersized serving of osteoporosis-fighting K. One cup of boiled greenpeas has 46% of your RDA of vitaminK1. Peas are high in fiber and low infat and contain no cholesterol.Apart from being very high in plantprotein, Peas also have insolublefiber that can act as a bulking agentin the body to move food along, soit is digested easier.

Spring Onion: Spring onions arean excellent food for reversingcholesterol and can reduce the riskof coronary heart disease. It alsohas many anti-cancer compounds.Spring Onions are very effective inlowering blood sugar levels bypromoting the release of insulinfrom the body. It prevents diarrhea,improves appetite, and promotesregular stomach clearance.

Winters are an opportunity to eata variety of superfoods that haveenormous health benefits and atthe same time many diseasereversing compounds. All we needto develop is a habit of consumingthese foods on a regular basis. Afterall it is habits that will reversedisease and not diets.


Boost Your Health

Winter Superfoods for Disease Reversal and Good Health.

By Karan Kakkad

We

According to an article byUNICEF, India has the largestpopulation of adolescents in

the world, being home to 243million individuals aged 10-19 years.

While the promise and potentialof the nation lie in these youthfulhuman resources, this situation alsocomes with an onerous

responsibility on the part of thestate and parents/guardians tocollectively nurture and harness thispotential towards fruition.

This task seems to be easier saidthan done as adolescence is a veryvulnerable period in anyone’s life. Inthis connection, it’s apt to quotethe following lines from the movie

“Chemical Hearts,” released in2020:

“You are never more alive thanwhen you’re a teenager. Your brainis flushed with chemicals that canturn your life into a story of epicproportions. A-minus feels like thePulitzer, a lonely Saturday night isan eternity of solitude, and your lab

Teenage WonderThe Agony and Ecstasy of a Teenager.By Sujatha Rao

partner becomes the great love ofyour life.”

Indeed, the intensity of pleasureand pain with which life is livedduring this phase is unparalleled inone’s life, since it happens to be aphase of many firsts - the first timeone wakes up to the ecstasy of thefirst love, the agony of the firstheartache, the confusion of pubertyand maybe for some of theteenagers the mixed feelings of thefirst intercourse experience.

With all the chemicals firing off inthe brain, it’s also a phase when oneis trying to figure out who one reallyis while transitioning from a girl intoa woman or from a boy into a man.

As one navigates through somany uncharted territories for thevery first time, along with theunbridled joy one experience, its

small wonder then that one alsogoes through the highest level ofanxiety, nervousness, and evendepression at times during thisphase, since one is not yet matureenough to handle all this emotionalturmoil.

Sometime back when I happenedto mention to a venting mother of ateenager that teenager is one of themost difficult phases in one’s life,she retorted back in frustrationasking “for whom - for the parentsor for the teenager?” This question

of hers sums up the overall traumaassociated with teenagers ingeneral, both for the teenager andto the close family members of thatteenager.

WHY IS IT SOCHALLENGING?

While wading through theteenage years had always been adifficult task for biological andother reasons, it has become evenmore challenging in the presenttimes. Some of the major reasonsfor this are:

Internet and Social Media Usage

While the raging hormones arefuriously at work within the body ofa teen, the constant badgering fromthe external world through socialmedia is adding fuel to the fire. Withthe ease of access to porn sites,uncontrolled exposure to all kindsof violence on the web, and theconstant hankering after thenumber of “likes” that the teensend up chasing on their Facebookand Instagram pages, they oftenfind themselves in a toxicenvironment leading to loads ofmental stress. The following 2019data from Nielson shows India’sinternet usage to be second only toChina.

INDEED, THE INTENSITYOF PLEASURE AND PAINWITH WHICH LIFE ISLIVED DURING THISPHASE ISUNPARALLELED INONE’S LIFE, SINCE ITHAPPENS TO BE APHASE OF MANY FIRSTS- THE FIRST TIME ONEWAKES UP TO THEECSTASY OF THE FIRSTLOVE, THE AGONY OFTHE FIRST HEARTACHE,THE CONFUSION OFPUBERTY.

the additional burden of having togo through some of the mostdifficult entrance exams of one’slife, which ultimately go on todecide their future career paths.With competition increasing byleaps and bounds with each passingyear, it’s only going to becomemore and more difficult.

WHAT CAN WE DO?Against this backdrop, the

following tips are aimed at helpingus overcome some of thesechallenges.

Keep the lines of communicationhumming? Sitting down for a formal"heart to heart" chat can be quiteanxiety-provoking. Hence, as aparent, it helps to have casualconversations with your teen andnever let the communication linesbetween you both dry up.

While you are at it, please watchout for those tell-tale signs ofdisturbance, if any, including socialwithdrawal, mood swings, changesin routine, personality changes, talkof suicide, etc. If you think it’swarranted, do seek professionalhelp immediately.

Unfortunately, mental healthissues at such a young age are notsomething that can be brushedaway lightly. As per a factsheetpublished in 2020 by the WorldHealth Organisation, suicide is thethird leading cause of death in 15-19-year-olds globally.

Create little rituals to connectMake room for some family

rituals involving everyone in thefamily. It could be anything ofinterest to both the teen and you.These rituals go a long way inestablishing a strong bond betweenyou and you’re teen.

Help the teen develop ahobby:

The sooner you help your childdevelop a hobby the better. Forthis, the work can start soon afterthe child’s toddler days. However,it’s never too late to start one.

Failures of individuals are often

At 31% usage by the pre-teensand teens, a large part of which ismost likely spent on various kinds ofsocial media platforms, theaddiction seems poised to reachpandemic levels soon.

Changed family structure With the nuclear families having

replaced the erstwhile joint familiesand with a large number of familiesopting to have one or two childrenper family, the attention with whichchildren are being brought up haschanged for the better. While this isa positive development, on the flipside, it has also resulted into theparents having a constant urge toprotect their children from any kindof pain or failure. This over-protective attitude is oftenrendering these children incapableof handling even minor crises ontheir own which in turn is leading tosevere psychological issues in them.

The competitiveenvironment

During the teenage years,one is at one of the mostimportant crossroads in life asfar as academics go. Especiallyin the Indian context,teenagers are saddled with

CHILDREN LEARN MOREFROM WHAT YOU “DO”AND “HOW YOUBEHAVE” RATHER THAN“WHAT YOU SAY”. FORINSTANCE, IF YOU AREASKING YOUR TEEN TOPRACTICE BETTERCLEANLINESS, IT WON’TCUT THE ICE WITH HIMOR HER, IF YOU HAPPENTO BE A MESSY ANDUNTIDY PERSON.

buffered by belief in being part of amuch larger whole. Developing coreinterests in serious hobbies,philanthropic work, religion, etc.,are some of the best examples thathelp us to be part of somethinglarger than life.

Practice what you preachChildren learn more from what

you “do” and “how you behave”rather than “what you say”. Forinstance, if you are asking your teento practice better cleanliness, itwon’t cut the ice with him or her, ifyou happen to be a messy anduntidy person.

Don’t compareTeens are adults in the making

and they want to feel likeindividuals with special and uniquequalities that the parents

appreciate regardless of how theirsibling is so much better atacademics. Comparing with othersalienates them and makes themeven more adamant in continuingwith their annoying behavior if any.

Celebrate small wins with theteen and indulge him or her evenwhen that area in which he or sheexcels doesn’t seem too importantto you.

Don’t sermonize:The biggest put off for the

present generation is their havingto listen to those long-windedsermons, especially those that startwith “hamaare zamaanein me”.Times have changed and there isvery little that the teen connectswith your earlier world. It’s you as aparent who has to get to knowhis/her world and act with empathy.

Don’t overprotectThe parental role is restricted to

providing support and love. Theissues of the teen by and large areto be resolved by himself or herself.As parents, we need to assure theteen that we are there to lend moralsupport with a shoulder to lean onanytime he or she needs the same.

ConclusionIn the ultimate reckoning,

teenage is one of the most beautifuland intense periods in one’s life. Inher song “Am not a girl and not yeta woman,” Britney Spearswonderfully ruminates over this “in-between” phase. Let’s act withempathy and help the teens find “afew moments in time and space”that’s their very own during thisphase, as they forge their way intoadulthood.

18 Woman’s Era ● February 2021

We

and were being sent home to avoidfurther spread of the rather virulentcontagious disease. One finemorning, I woke up with a ragingfever which was diagnosed astyphoid. It was a difficult time. I wasyoung and immature and was rathercareless about my health. Afterresting and recuperating for acouple of weeks, I went back tocollege and to my carefree lifestyle.With the foolishness of youth, I didnot pay enough attention to my dietand health and almost suffered arelapse.

It was then that Ranjit Banerjee,an angel in human shape, steppedinto my young life. He was mysenior and studying architecture. Ihad barely seen him around amongthe seniors of the hostel and neverreally interacted with him. Hesomehow came to know that I wasnot keeping well. For reasonsunknown to me, he started takingcare of me. Not satisfied with thepace of improvement of my medicalcondition, he roped in anotherfriend of his, who claimed to havesome knowledge of homoeopathicmedicine. Certainly, the verypresence of these two seniors gaveme a lot of moral strength to face

my ordeal with equanimity andreaffirmed my faith in humanity.This went on for at least twoweeks. Then came the day when Ifelt sufficiently well to get up and,the doctor gave me permission tostart attending classes once again.It was only then that Ranjit finallyleft me to my own devices.

As for Ranjit, he never againtried to seek me out with any kindof patronising attitude orreminding me of my debt to him. Iam now 75 years old and oftenremember the young man whostepped up to help me when Ineeded it the most. I often regretthat I failed to recognise his debtto me and never made the effort toshow my gratitude to him. When Ithink of Ranjit, I am reminded ofthe advice that my mother oftengave me. “Never let your left handknow, what your right hand isdoing.” It is an incident that I shallalways remember with a sense ofguilt and remorse. I wish I had keptin touch with Ranjit and live inhope that one day fate will bring ustogether. In the meantime, I try torepay his act of kindness byhelping people in need.

– Rajendra K Gupta, Noida.

Ranjit helped one risewhen I was down

One keeps hearing about goodSamaritans, but it’s rare toexperience the munificence of aflesh-and-blood person yourself.Sometimes, we do not recognisethe presence of angels in our livesuntil it’s too late.

It was in the year 1961 when Iwas into my second year at IITKharagpur, a young lad about 17years old. I was the youngest offour siblings and the baby of thefamily. A mama’s boy to the corecompletely protected from thecruel world outside the confines ofmy home. During the second yearof college, there had been anoutbreak of jaundice and typhoidat the hostel as a result ofdrinking-water contamination. Alarge number of boys were unwell

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Things that make men feel insecure! By Rama

Most ladies have wound upmade up for lost time inpoisonous, unfortunate

relationship with insecure men.Despite the fact that the majority ofthem could never let it out, trulymen have exceptionally delicateconsciences that can be effortlesslybroken. Many have low confidenceand a delicate conscience that areattempting to cover up no matterwhat. In any case, what precisely are these indications of instability in a man?

Is It Love, Or Is It Insecurity?



You meet a new guy and heappears to be incredible. He getsyou, gives you roses, opens yourentryway, takes you to an exquisitecafé, and unendingly praises you forthe duration of the night. Heconsistently lets you know, hisvoice bound with suspiciousmiracle, that he can't really acceptthat you consented to go out withhim since you're so out of sight hisleague. He deals with you like aprincess, and it's all socomplimenting.

It's an invigorating change tofeel so valued, particularly in theevent that you have an example ofdating rascals, and you startedbelieving that perhaps he's "theone."

Yet, at that point things headsouth, and his sweet mindfulnessgoes to overpowering fixation. It nolonger feels like he loves andesteems you; it seems liketyrannical possessiveness. It takesall your energy to guarantee yourman (and afterward console himagain and again) that you love him,and it's draining the life out of you.Shockingly, insecure men are allover the place. Also, if yoursweetheart or spouse with doesmost, or all, of the accompanyingthings, he's presumably one ofthem.

To stay away from anotherwrecked heart brought about bydating insecure men, here are signsof insecurity to look out for.

No external companions orinterests

He never specifies anycompanions and doesn't spendtime with anybody yet you. Outsideof work, he has no interests ordiversions. He doesn't go out much,play any games, take any classes,volunteer or go to chapel. At thepoint when he isn't with you, he'ssitting at home thinking about you.Or then again perhaps he hadcompanions and side interests all atonce; however he surrenderedthem all to go through consistentlywith you.

He thinks you actually haveaffections for your ex

He's persuaded you're not overyour ex, regardless of whetheryou've been separated/separatedfor quite a long time and the mainsentiments you have for him aredissatisfaction, feel sorry for,abhorring, appall, and a pinch oflingering scorn.

He reveals to you he cherishesyou right away

Early in the relationship, hedeclares his undying affection foryou. You could fly through the airwhile yelling, "He adores me! Hecherishes me! He cherishes me!" Butthe normal piece of you feels like,"He adores me? Stand by, what?This is our subsequent date. That isinsane talk."

He reveals to you that you'rehis beginning and end

You're his reality, the focal pointof his universe, his purpose behindliving. From the start, it mightappear to be complimenting to beesteemed so profoundly, howeverbeing the focal point of one's realityisn't so amazing. That is an excessof strain to satisfy.

He needs consistent approvalHe oftentimes asks you inquiries

like, "Do you love me?" He looks forpraises. At that point when youguarantee him that you do discoverhim alluring, he doesn't trust you.Everybody likes to hear that they'readored, pretty, skilled, alluring, andsavvy and wanted, yet hisrequirements go past those of most

of us. He for the most part

EARLY IN THERELATIONSHIP, HEDECLARES HISUNDYING AFFECTIONFOR YOU. YOU COULDFLY THROUGH THE AIRWHILE YELLING, "HEADORES ME! HECHERISHES ME! HECHERISHES ME!" BUTTHE NORMAL PIECE OFYOU FEELS LIKE, "HEADORES ME? STANDBY, WHAT? THIS IS OURSUBSEQUENT DATE.THAT IS INSANE TALK."

experiences low confidence, whichunexpectedly is the main thrustbehind a large number of hisuncertain practices.

He's envious of yourcompanions

He's desirous of the time you gothrough with your companions. Hedoesn't care for you to meetassociates after work for partytime, he doesn't care for you goingout on the town to shop withsweethearts, and paradise prohibityou have any dispassionateassociations with men. Hehabitually calls and messages tolook at up on you when you'rewithout him.

He takes steps to part wayswith you

He plays such a game wherein hetakes steps to leave or say a finalfarewell to you. He makesstatements as, "I don't feelneeded" or, "I don't think you trulylove me." He would truly not like tocut off the association; he's trustingyou'll implore him to remain. On theoff chance that you do, it approveshis delicate personality. In the eventthat you don't, he'll take it all back

and do whatever he can so hedoesn't lose you. He's simply tryingyour commitment to him andrequesting that approval he solongs for. Ultimately, you'll either bestuck in this unfortunaterelationship or you'll feel worn outon this little game and readily let himleave whenever he undermines it.

He discusses his exes and howthey undermined him

As indicated by him, his exesnever truly cherished him. Hedemands that in each pastrelationship, he was the guiltlesscasualty. Nobody cherished him.They used him and undermined him.This might be valid and themotivation behind why he's soshaky, or it could be in his mind inview of his frailty.

He follows you on Facebookand other online media.

He's consistently mindful theexact moment you post an imageon Facebook, a tweet, or anInstagram post. He follows you andconsistently watching what you'redoing. He may even get vexed onthe off chance that he peruses whatyou're up to on Facebook when youdidn't let him know actually prior topresenting it for everybody on read.Except if you're Kim Kardashian,there's simply somethingsomewhat frightening about beingfollowed.

He checks you’re mobileHe investigates your shoulder

when you get a book. He maycasually ask who you're messagingor he may by and large interest tosee you’re mobile.

He intermittently feels likeyou're concealing something fromhim in case you're on your PC ortelephone, regardless of whetheryou're simply browsing your workemail or messaging a sweetheart aformula for lasagna.

He believes you're beinguntrustworthy

He can't exactly shake his doubtsthat you're undermining him. Hemay blame you for playing with theserver, engaging in extramaritalrelations with an associate, or simplysearching for somebody better.

It isn't really that he doesn'tconfide in you; it's more about himfeeling like he's insufficient for youso it's simply a question of timeuntil you discover somebodybetter.


HE PLAYS SUCH A GAMEWHEREIN HE TAKESSTEPS TO LEAVE OR SAYA FINAL FAREWELL TOYOU. HE MAKESSTATEMENTS AS, "IDON'T FEEL NEEDED"OR, "I DON'T THINK YOUTRULY LOVE ME."HE WOULD TRULY NOTLIKE TO CUT OFF THEASSOCIATION; HE'STRUSTING YOU'LLIMPLORE HIM TOREMAIN. ON THE OFFCHANCE THAT YOU DO,IT APPROVES HISDELICATE PERSONALITY.

We

UNFRIENDSomet ime i t ’ s inescapab le . By Bhavna Gajbe

ShortStory

Sania Malhotra wasjogg ing at a fasterpace than usual .The mus ic wasr ing ing in loudthrough theheadphones. Lastn ight ’s images wereemerg ing beforeher eyes. I t was anight that shewouldn’t forget. I twas a n ight whenshe had to make achoice.

The sky was playinghide and seek withdifferent hues of

oranges. Sania Malhotrawas jogging at a faster pacethan usual. The music wasringing in loud through theheadphones. Last night’simages were emergingbefore her eyes. It was anight that she wouldn’tforget. It was a night whenshe had to make a choice.The choice was veryobvious, but not an easyone.

She jogged till herbreathing became heavy.Her panting becamelouder. She ran and ran andthen halted abruptly at thedead end of the road.

her heart yearned forNaziya, her childhoodfriend who was left behindin this journey. Naziyacompleted her BSc degreein their hometownAmritsar. They would catchup whenever Sania wouldvisit Amritsar. But slowlythe time gaps increasedand phone calls decreased.

“Ma, have you got anynews of Naziya?” Saniainquired.

“No, beta, I just heardfrom her buaji that herfamily is planning to moveto the Gulf.”

Her calls were answeredby the operator’s crispVoice, “The number you arecalling does not exist.”

Years rolled by.However, Sania wouldsearch for her best friend insocial media profiles. And

Why did I search for you? I lost you

again, Naaz.

“Aaaaaahhhhhhh...No...No...NO!” Sania wasshouting with tears rollingout of her eyes. She wasalone.

She had always excelledin studies. An engineer inelectronics andcommunication, Saniasuccessfully cleared theSSB exam and wascommissioned as an officerin the Army. After one yearof rigorous training at OTAChennai, she wascommissioned in Corps ofIntelligence. She was nowposted as a Major in one ofthe intelligence units of theIndian Army at New Delhi.She had befriended a lot offellow women officers. Yet

one fine day she got thatfriend request from Naziya.She couldn't believe hereyes. She checked outNaziya’s profile. Theintrovert girl had nowbecome an author. Herwheatish complexionedoval face carried the samepair of wide, deep vocaleyes. Sania immediatelyconnected with her. Thiswas followed by anexchange of messages andthe numbers. Naziya wasresiding at Hyderabad.

“I will call you as soon asI step out of my office,”Sania messaged her.

“Trrrng trrrng.”“Hello.” Sania paused

for a second to hear thevoice. It was the same evenafter so many years.

“Hello... Naaz...I mean isthat really you?”

“Sani... How much Imissed you in all theseyears.”

“You just vanished fromthe scene. Idiot, I have beensearching for you for solong.

“Yeah, it is a long story.Will tell you someday whenwe meet.”

“Yes, we should meet assoon as possible.”Sania wasexcited.

“You are looking prettythese days, Sania, for achange. Saw your pictureson Facebook.”

“I was always. Just thatyou always stole thelimelight with your eyes,sweetheart.”

“And you still didn’t findanyone after me to handleyou I guess. Still single androcking, Sania.”

“Yes, Naaz. And whatabout you?”

“Hmm... Single you cansay. ”

Sania didn’t probe anyfurther. She knew thatwords will pour out at the

right time. That was so likeNaaz.

They would call upalmost every alternate

day. Also WhatsAppmessages and video calls.The distance of years wasgetting covered up withtechnology.

After a few months, themoment of the reunioncame.

“Yes, you heard it right,Sania. I will be there foralmost a fortnight, baby.”

“Wow...I want to hugyou right now.”

“Yes. My room isbooked at the Holiday Inn.We can spend our eveningstogether.”

“I am not meeting youthen. How dare you stay ata hotel?”

“Come on, Sania, don’tbe a baby.”

“Hey Naaz, we aresingles and no men tobother us. We can have aball. You are not staying ata hotel. Only at my place.Matter closed,” Sania saidwith an authority.

It was almost a decadelater that they were face toface. At the airport, Saniawas too excited to see her.Naaz had always been acomposed person.However, that day shepermitted herself to be alittle melodramatic.

Saniya celebrated with apeg of scotch which leftNaaz gaping.

“It is my army way, gal!A toast to our friendship,my love,” Sania wasdancing around.

“I would prefer to toastwith a Coke,” Naaz grinned.

“At this point of life, I amcontent. I am serving mycountry. Nothing elsematters more.”

“Yes, I feel so proud tosee you as a woman officer,

strong and independent.”“Tell me how you ended

up writing stories, Naaz.And what about marriageand all?”

“Ammi and Abbuwanted to marry me offseven seas away. Butdestiny had some otherplans. So here I amscribbling others stories.And finally trying my handmaking a documentary onChandni Chowk,” Naazlaughed it off.

“I hope there is no storyof heartbreak here.”

“No. Not at all,”Naazsaid in a matter of fact way.

Sania knew Naziya waslying. She thought ofleaving the topicist there.

“Naaz you have yourlunch on time. I will be backby evening. Meanwhile, ifyou need to go out for yourresearch work to ChandniChowk, you can take buddyVasantlal with you.”

Naaz was busy reading.“Are you listening to

me?”Sania shrugged hershoulders.

“I will go by a taxi. Iwould be covering the areaon foot, Sania. So, no needof Vasantlal, ”Naaz waved awarm bye to her friend.

Naaz along with herHandycam, a rucksack and

a diary, toured the alleys ofChandni Chowk. Sanianever accompanied her. Inthe evening, Naaz wouldshare little stories she hadfound there. Soon, thefortnight was over and itwas time for Naziya toleave.

“Sania, I am going tocherish this for all my life.”

“Stop being so filmy. Wewill be spending time likethis more often. At least tillthe day marriage happens.”

It was the last weekendof their rendezvous.

“Sani, let us spend theSunday with our old-timememories. We can foolaround doing windowshopping, paani puri, chaatand lot more.”

“ That sounds so cool.”“Also, I want to visit

Delhi Haat. Dinner andshopping there will be thebest way to end theday.”Naziya chalked outthe plan.

Next morning, both ofthem twinned up their

apparel. They glammed uptheir looks with a dash ofmake-up and headedtowards the streets of Delhito recreate the memories.Naziya carried along theHandycam in her handbagto capture their moments.

It was dinner time atDelhi Haat.

“Why don’t you shift toDelhi, babes? It will be somuch fun.”

“Life is not always fun,Saani. We both will bebusy. Things will be back tothe way they once used tobe. You left me alone foryour engineering.”

“Naziya, I had to. Youknow how important it wasfor me. And you went awaywith your parents to theGulf without even meetingme.”


The in t rover t g i r lhad now become anauthor . Herwheat i shcomplex ioned ova lface car r ied thesame pa i r o f w ide ,deep voca l eyes .San ia immed iate l yconnected w i th her .Th i s was fo l l owed byan exchange o fmessages and thenumbers .

There was a silence.“Okay, forget it. Show

me the Handycam. Let mesee how my newbiedocumentary directorcaptured my beauty,” Sanialeaped to take Naziya’shandbag.

The bag was nowhere.“Oh man! I guess I lost

my bag!” Naziya gasped.Sania started to search

for it under their table andnearby. It was gone.

“Let it be, Sani I have myphone with me. I alwayscarry my wallet in my jeanspocket. So my credit cardsare safe.”

“What about theHandycam and yourrecordings of ChandniChowk?”

“They are safe. I haveuploaded them on mylaptop.”

After dinner, Sania wasnot comfortable.

“Wait, I remember, youwent to that handicraftshop to have a look. It wasjust before our dinner...”

Sania took hurried stepsin that direction.

“Let it be. Someonemight have picked it up bynow.”Naziya was hesitant.

“The shopkeeper mighthave kept it safe. Let mecheck or else I will informthe police. Your Handycamis a costly one, babe.”Saniawas getting serious.

And, before Naziyacould say anything, shedisappeared into thecrowd.

Sania was standing infront of the Rajasthani stall.She started scanning theplace with her militarytrained eyes.

At the corner of thestall, there was a bench.Under the bench, the tan-coloured leather handbaglay peacefully. Saniaheaved a sigh of relief.

“Naaz, I have got it! Youabsentminded dumb, youleft it there,” she startedshouting from a distance.

As she reached thetable, Naaziya was

nowhere to be seen. Shelooked around. It wasgetting scary. Her friendwas missing. She dialledNaziya’s cell number.

“The number you arecalling is switched off.”

She sat on the benchhopelessly. During thatmoment of silence, astrange sound caught herattention.

“Tick-tock...Tick-tock...Tick-tock”. Shefollowed the frequency ofthe sound. It was comingfrom the tan-colouredhandbag. Naaz’s handbag.

Her trembling handsopened the zip. A red andblue light was blinkinginside. It was attached withthe Handycam. Sania felt aspine-chilling numbnessrunning through her body.

Sania was shocked tosee a bomb inside her bestfriend’s bag. But, withinfew seconds, her sharpmind started working. First,she called her unit officer,

Captain Sonakshi. The nextmove was to make peoplesafe without creating apanic. With the help of localpolice constables, sheevacuated the area in ashort time.

The tragedy wasaverted.

But a deeper tragedyhad struck Sania’s life.There were so manyquestions. Naziya couldn’tbe a part of this. Where wasshe? Was she safe?

At the headquarters,Sania was counselled byher commanding officerand given a warning letter.

The next day's Headlinesread -

“DARKEST NIGHT;BRIGHTEST STAR! Armyofficer saves thousands oflives yesterday night. Bombblast averted.”

Her trust was shaken.She started diggingNaziya’s stuff at her home.Naziya was gone. But herbelongings were there. Thesalwar kameez, burqas,some books, Cds, wires,fanatic literature and toolboxes, gloves, eye gearsetc. Slowly the realitystarted to sink in.

Then began Sania’s hunt.Her eyes were hungry

for Naaz’s sight. She hadtracked her down. After all,Sania was an intelligenceofficer. She knew all theholes where the molescould hide. Naziya waspicked up from a hideout inChandni Chowk. Two morewomen accomplices werearrested.

"Darkest night...”Saniamuttered to herself.Naziya’s dark truth wasgoing to dawn uponher.They sat facing eachother. Sania was in her crispuniform. Naaz was inprinted salwar kameez with

a hijab over her head.“Why, Naaz? Why?”“Because you were my

shield. Nobody would besuspicious on me when Iwas accompanied by you,”Naaz said in a grim voice.

“I am...No...I was yourbest friend, a childhoodfriend.”Sania’s pain showedin her voice.

“I don’t have friendsanymore."

“This is foolishness. Youhave been misled, Naaz.This is your motherland.How could you?”

“How could they? Howcould they put my abbu injail while immigrating? Justbecause we have the lastname belonging to aspecific community.”Naazbroke down. “We weretagged as traitor’sdaughters. Abbu died ofasthma in jail, withoutmedicine and care. Is thisthe kind of dignity your lawoffers to the countrymen?Can I ever feel home in suchcircumstances in my owncountry?”

Sania left Naaz with theinterrogating officers.

Present day.On her table, lay a neat

white envelope with herstatement inside it.

“Ravi, we have to go tothe police station. Take outthe Gypsy please.”

In the Gypsy , she tookout her phone. A smilingselfie clicked at the DelhiHaat was staring at her.She touched the deleteicon.

Sometimes it is better togive up yearning for thepast. Why did I search foryou? I lost you again, Naaz.Not to time, but to a wrongideology. I have lost myability to trust. Thethoughts kept onhammering inside Sania’shead.


San ia took hur r ieds teps in thatd i rect ion . “Let i tbe . Someone mighthave p icked i t upby now.”Naz iya washes i tant . “Theshopkeeper mighthave kept i t sa fe .Let me check o re l se I w i l l i n fo rmthe po l i ce . YourHandycam i s acost l y one,babe.”San ia wasget t ing se r ious .

We

We live in tough times. Ittakes lot of understandingand work to remain

together in a relationship and thereare positive bunches of allurementout there. Our innovative, twist highspeed tech culture is skilled atrearing limited capacity to focus,apparently guiding us to the"following best thing".Notwithstanding that, our mindsare regularly guided by the "delightpleasures" that looks to abrogatewhat causes emotional or mentaldistress and agony. We have gottenmolded to incline toward that whichcauses us to feel better and satisfiesour prompt requirements, andexperience issues remaining withthat which is difficult anduneasiness inciting—particularlyconnections.

Be that as it may, futile sex aside(no judgment!), sex additionallyends up having a fairly significantimpact on seeing someone. It's thenonverbal communication betweentwo individuals. It's the motivationbehind why individuals look forcultural assent and enterrelationships. Past intercourse is atthe forefront of everybody'sthoughts. With a billion in numberpopulaces, we sure appear to do it agreat deal however then for whatreason would we say we aren'tdiscussing it more? What role doesdesire play seeing someonenowadays?

When it comes to sex/desire, thesnare is to get dependent on theprompt delight of joy, to confusethat with the genuine passionateassociation, and to confound whathappens in the closeness of actualinclusion with the closeness of arelationship created over the longrun. Individuals frequently attemptto persuade themselves that they're"enamored" because an essentialneed is in effect briefly fulfilled.

Desire And Fire!Is Lust Important In Relationship?By Ramzi

They will in general need to fortifythis satisfying relationship andstruggle to inspect it for what ittruly is. Perhaps if they could thatthey might, they can at last searchout accomplices that are eventuallymore advantageous to their soundturn of events. Somebody, theycould truly be enamored with for alifetime. Try not to misunderstand.Sex and desire are basic parts of astrong relationship.

Beyond attraction and love,which are the undeniable basics fora strong, long haul relationship,there's the need to create aconnection to your accomplice—the concrete that holds arelationship together over a longperiod. You need to discoverapproaches to truly like theindividual you're focused on beingwith. So here are some fundamentalpractices/propensities for a fruitful,submitted, and cherishingrelationship.

Remain keen on one another's lives

You were keen on getting someanswers concerning each otherwhen you initially met. You posedinquiries and you tuned in. Thecapacity to tune in and interest inyour accomplice is vital tosupporting your relationship. Trynot to expect that you don't needto invest the energy tuning intoyour accomplice since you have adeep understanding of them.Individuals change throughout arelationship.

Put forth a deliberate attempt tofraternize. Regardless of howoccupied or harried, you are,"check-in" with one anotherconsistently. It could be a brief callto simply say "hi," "I love you,""what are you up to." Plan timetogether alone—without thechildren, and certainly unplugged.

Focus on the positive. Recall andlike everything you loved aboutyour accomplice from the earlieststarting point. Decide to see yourunfurling coexistence as anexcursion, an experience maybe.Now and then life runs easily and

things are incredible, yet at timesit's truly unpleasant. Having aninspirational demeanor makes life'svulnerabilities and "the obscure"something to anticipate instead ofsomething to fear.

ConnectionOne reason romantic

connections are so private is a resultof sex. There is no otherrelationship where having sex is ashared movement to this degree,hence the desire and what followsare what separates them.(Attaching can't be known as arelationship in this uniquecircumstance.)

FeelingsIsolating love from lust can be a

troublesome task, particularly inlong haul connections. What youfeel when you're intimate with your


BEYOND ATTRACTIONAND LOVE, WHICH ARETHE UNDENIABLEBASICS FOR A STRONG,LONG HAULRELATIONSHIP,THERE'S THE NEED TOCREATE A CONNECTIONTO YOURACCOMPLICE—THECONCRETE THAT HOLDSA RELATIONSHIPTOGETHER OVER ALONG PERIOD. YOUNEED TO DISCOVERAPPROACHES TO TRULYLIKE THE INDIVIDUALYOU'RE FOCUSED ONBEING WITH.

lines makes them a saferaccomplice.

The decisionA drawn-out relationship is

regularly a custom of decision. Youawaken each day and decide to bewith the individual you love. Thereare incredible force and duty there.Thinking about desire, the cravingyou feel for your accomplice as apiece of this decision is significant.Realizing that you're withsomebody you love and who setsyour spirit ablaze consistently is anengaging inclination to encounter.

Legitimate spotWhile we have perceived how

significant desire is seeingsomeone, would be unreasonableto give it superfluous significance.Desire is incredible; however, it isn'tall that matters. But you don't wantto rip each other's garments offeach time you are separated fromeveryone else, doesn't mean youare not in a caring relationship.Desire is simply essential for theentire game.

A genuine partnership hasnumerous elements. You can'tengage in sexual relations and stillbe particularly enamored, to give itincomparability over genuineness,dedication and building coexistencewould be mistaken. Taking a ganderat desire and sex in a fair manner isthe thing that will keep yourrelationship enduring.

DesireYou can have intercourse with

anybody, whenever. These arefundamental impulses. Beingenamored is a considerably moremind-boggling undertaking,regularly colossally fulfilling,however at times exceptionallytroublesome and attempting.Genuinely loving somebody impliessetting aside the effort tocomprehend, acknowledge, andacknowledge a critical other forwho and what they are. Likemethods regarding, respecting, andrefining the adoration you alreadyhave.


We

ISOLATING LOVE FROMLUST CAN BE ATROUBLESOME TASK,PARTICULARLY IN LONGHAUL CONNECTIONS.WHAT YOU FEEL WHENYOU'RE INTIMATE WITHYOUR ACCOMPLICE ISFREQUENTLY ACOMBINATION, THELINES ARE OBSCURED.HOWEVER, THEY DON'TNEED TO FIGURE IT OUTCONSISTENTLY.LOVEMAKING MAYSTART AS A TYPE OFDESIRE, EXIST ASCOMMUNICATION ANDBE AN ACT OF LOVE. ITDOESN'T NEED TO BE AVERY MUCH ISOLATEDACTION.

accomplice is frequently acombination, the lines areobscured. However, they don'tneed to figure it out consistently.Lovemaking may start as a type ofdesire, exist as communication andbe an act of love. It doesn't need tobe a very much isolated action.

ReassurancePeople are as matter of course,

shaky creatures. At the point whenthey are seeing someone, holdquestion concerning numerousthings. They question their self-esteem continually. One of theinquiries that keep reoccurring is'Am I alluring? Is my accomplicepulled in to me?'

Lust and its demeanor can workin consoling the two accomplicesabout their allure. It helps supporttheir confidence and along these

Jenny Sarang is a role model forShammi Pant as a Coach andthey used to often joke, wish we

could create millions of Jenny whenthey worked together in GE. It’sbeen remarkable technologyadvancement since then, and todaywith new-age technology likeArtificial Intelligence, Shammi andJenny formed an AI-based CoachingCompany and have created copiesof Jenny to coach users on Verbaland Written Communications Skills.They aptly named their venture‘myJen AI’ and launched services inOctober last year, today it offers,one of its kind real timeCommunication Coaching on theirapplications uSpeek and kWurd.

In conversation with JennySarang and Shammi Pant, Co-Founders of ‘myJen AI’

How do you come together tostart your venture myJen.AI andwhat’s been your inspiration?

Jenny and I worked together atGE years back. We went ourseparate ways but kept in touch.Having a lot of respect for Jenny’scoaching abilities would joke withher that I wish I could make millionsof Jenny and distribute across myteams. That would lead to verytimely feedback and interventionresulting in greater results. Workingwith Accenture in RPA & AI I figuredthat the advancements in ArtificialIntelligence will enable us to getthere now. And that was themoment myJen was formed.

The field of technology isdominated by men, what’s beenyour challenges and how do you seethe future of women in this field?

The future of women is bright.Yes, there are challenges asessentially the technology world isdominated by men hence the men’sclubs are extraordinarily strong.However, with the gap in skilledtalent demand and supply in ITespecially on newer technologies

women have a great opportunity tofill the gap and emerge astechnically strong leaders. As thenumbers of women grow and thework culture will by design startbalancing it out to be moreconducive for women to work in.

Please tell us about myJen and itsproducts and offerings?

myJen is an AI-based Coachingcompany. We have 2 products;uSpeek which improves your oralcommunication skills and kWurd toimproves your writtencommunication skills. uSpeek is anAI coach that assesses your mockvideo on 25 parameters in a matterof minutes and gives you detailsfeedback on your strengths anddevelopment opportunities. It hasinsightful analytics built whichallows you to monitor, yourprogress over time and sees yourrate of improvement. It iscustomized for a specific speakingevent you might be preparing for.An elevator speech, presentation,interview, or a public speech andget customized feedback. For yourorganization, it helps you baselinethe oral communication skill levelsof your employees at a location,account, team, and project level.You can track and monitor usage

and see the rate of learning ofdifferent segments. kWurd is abusiness writing coach. It is anadvanced proof-reading tool. Writeanything and kWurd will give youthe standard spelling and grammarerrors as well as help you get rid ofredundant words, call out passivevoice, improve your readability bysuggesting better word choices,and more. kWurd Learning Lessonson kwurd is an excellent tool forCustomer Service teams who wantto measure the quality of emailresponses. When you have tools likethis you are giving your employees agreat opportunity to learn on thejob and providing thempersonalized coaching tips.

In what way can your technologymake a difference to women tryingto improve their performance in thecompetitive world?

70% of your career successdepends on your communicationskills. Both our products canenhance the communication skillsof women in a very personalizedmanner. Imagine having a personalexecutive coach to train you! Thatcan exponentially catapult yourcareer and growth prospects.myJen offers very affordablepersonal coaching solutions.

We are in a space & time witnessing atechnology led human revolution.

Jenny Sarang and Shammi Pant, Co Founder, myJen AI

save hers family too else gather proofs first ntell her husband/ son about all this. If nothingworks, wait for right the time surely some way will come out and everything will be fineone day.

IAM A 25-YEAR-OLD FEMALE. I GOT MARRIED IN

2018. Everything was fine until I gotpregnant with twins. My in-Law's behavior

was suddenly changed; they were concerned that it couldbe two baby girls. I spent most of my time in parentalhome during pregnancy, as my in-laws were not takingcare of me properly. My husband is the only child of hisparents and earned a handsome salary of 35k. I waspregnant with twins normal delivery was not possible.Doctor asked for c-section delivery, which was expensive.My In-laws refused for C-section delivery. They saidwhether three of us die or survive.

I got my babies delivered with my parents one son andone daughter. After 2 months I went back to In-laws. MyIn-laws were treating my son well but they just didn’t careabout my daughter. They started ill-treating me andprovoking my husband against me.

They want my husband to get rid of me and remarryanother girl. I want to focus on my studies and do a job. Iwant to become independent so that I can provideeverything and a bright future for my kids. A few daysago my husband hit me so hard and compelled me toleave the house. My in-laws want me to divorce him andarrange a second marriage for him. But I still love myhusband and want to stay with him. He is not answeringmy calls and messages. I do not know what to do. Pleasehelp me.

You should wait for a month without taking anydecisions and then contact your husband and calmly talkand ask what he is actually upto and what problem doeshe have. If things are still not clear, file FIR and doeverything you need to for your children and yourself.

IAM 20 YEARS OLD AND LOVE MY FAMILY FRIEND’S SON. WE

were together from class 1-7 but then he shifted toanother city for higher education. Now I am preparing

for medical and he is IIT Delhi. I told him that I have acrush on him. He demanded some time to think.Meanwhile, he wished me a Birthday. The next day whenI asked him about his response, he told me that he couldnot get into all this, as he has to focus on his studies. Irespected his decision then after 2 days he blocked mefrom WhatsApp and asked me to text him that I love himbut he rejected by saying, he doesn’t and then he blockedme again. After a while, he said that I am a nice girl and hedoes not want to get into this. After 3.5 years, he willthink about me. Should I wait or not?

He wants you to wait for 3.5 years and it is uncertain,however, you have 5.5 years for bright future in medicalscience. Love yourself and focus on your career. He is anintelligent person who wants to focus on his studies. Also,try to divert your mind.

MY BOYFRIEND USED TO WORK IN THE SAME OFFICE AS MINE.We have been together for the last three years. Inthat office, he was tagged as a ‘playboy’. I always

supported him and cleared all the misunderstandings withhim. Now it has been six months since I have changed myoffice and I caught him sleeping with his ex. He provedthat he is a loose character. I do not trust him anymorebut whenever I try to leave him, somehow he convincesme to stay. Please suggest some way to get rid of himbecause I cannot live with him without trust.

You are a mature individual and you should be capableof knowing your own boundaries, once someone cheatsyou move forward without a single thought, that’s thegolden rule of a relationship. Remember once a cheater isalways a cheater. Take it as a eye opener and move on girl.

IAM 19 YEARS OLD STUDENT STUDYING BSC PHYSICS, MY FATHER

is having an extramarital affair with a lady of 40, thelady is also married and also have son of my age and the

boy was school classmate, now he is studying in the samecollege in humanitarian course ... during school days therewas nothing between them, it all started 1year ago as thelady got transferred to my father office, they areexchanging expensive gifts, he comes home very late anddoes not give us time, he just avoid us, earlier he used tolove me and my mom very much but now thing have he isonly doing his duty today us like paying household bills, etcbut there is no love, l used to be his most precious darlingdaughter, if was sick he used to stay awake all night andtake care of me and now if was sick he tells, l am justwasting his as he has to pay for my medicine, my mother isa housewife, my father used to take very good care of us,so she didn't feel the need to work, though she is hadmasters degree in political science, my mother love myfather very much inspite of knowing all these. l am verydepressed, l can't take so much neglect by my father ....ldon't want to live ...l want to end my life.... because of allthese my and my mother's life has become a living hell....l am not able to concentrate on my studies.

If you will end your life, how will your mother survivewithout u as she is already living without the love of herhusband? You are her strength and the reason for hersurvival. Concentrate on your studies. Don't compromiseyour career. Help your mom to get a job as beingfinancially stable will make her confident and strongenough to deal the situation.

Try to talk to your dad n make him understand that hemeans the world to you and your mom. You can also doone thing. Talk to that lady n try to make her understandabout your n your mother's condition. Give her a chance to


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publically. He doesn't like it if I do the talk about it openly.But whenever I ask about the breakup, all of sudden, he isso caring. I can't share anything with him because of timeissues, communication gaps, and long-distancerelationship. Sometimes, he is so loving and the very nextmoment he doesn't care at all. I'm so confused about whatto do.

You need to have a serious conversation with yourboyfriend. You can conclude to the decision only after that.Clear things out and know what exactly is going in hismind.

WE HAVE A LOVE MARRIAGE BUT MY HUSBAND IS A

Mumma's boy. He doesn't earn much. My motherin law treats me like a servant. She makes me

wash her footwear. She always points out mistakes ineverything. I had gone through two miscarriages within thelast one and a half years. My face got paralyzed two times.My in-laws are threatening me about my husband'sremarriage as I have been unable to conceive for the lastfour months. I don't have a father or bother. My mother'shealth is also not good. I have lost all my self-confidence. Iam in a deep depression. Please help me out.

First of all, you need to have a talk with your husbandregarding this whole scenario. Try to know his side of thestory too. Then, you need to figure out that what’s thematter with your mother in law. Try to make herunderstand your issues. Being a woman, she mightunderstand your situation.

HI FRIENDS! I'M AN ENGINEERING GRADUATE. NOW I'M A

housewife having a two-year-old daughter. I'vespent three and a half successful years of my

married life. I'm Hindu, my husband is Christian. After twoyears of deep love, we get married. At that time, we talkeda lot about the future. We were so understanding. But nowthe issue is we don't speak about our religious views. Ourmarriage was performed in a Hindu temple and then in aChristian church for the satisfaction of our parents. Aftermy daughter was born, the confusion happened betweenour parents which religion name will be selected for ourdaughter. But I and my husband were very clear and weselected a common name it was like a Muslim name. Allwent fine. But in the past month, I realise some changes inmy husband's behavior. He removed all Hindu god photosfrom our living room. And he scolded me a lot for puttingkumkum on my daughter's forehead while I do pooja. Hegets angry while I'm watching Hindu god songs on TV.Now I feel very depressed. And feel like I was in somestranger's house. I feel very bad and don't know how torecover from this.

Sometimes, people have different point of views whichis quite normal. In your case too, since you two belong todifferent religions, both of you have strong views.However, if you talk to your husband and ask him aboutwhat changed his behavior, you will find your answers.Just have a conversation with him and express youremotions.


HI! I AM 35 YRS OLD MARRIED WOMAN WITH A DAUGHTER. MY

husband is very busy and doesn't love me. I havefallen in love with 35 yrs old another man with a

son. He proposed to me during teenage but due to somecircumstances, I rejected him then. Now I have fallen inlove with him and I came to know that he still loves me.He is also married.

Shall I continue with him?Well, it just doesn’t involve your life, but your child’s life

too. Think about that. Also, the person, you have fallen inlove with is also married, he might even have a kid. Yourone wrong decision can ruin many lives so it would bebetter if you talk to your husband about the time issue.And let go of that married man.

IHAVE CHEATED MY BOYFRIEND ONCE THOUGH THERE WAS NO

physical cheat. He forgave me with some conditions. Ifailed to comply with a few out of many conditions. But

he is so broken at this moment. He doesn’t trust me at all.He still loves me. Can you please guide me on how can Iassure him to trust me again? Please exclude fromsuggestions to make promises as I broke to comply withsome conditions which I promised. I love him. And ready todo things for him. Please help me to find the answer.

All you need to do is give time to your boyfriend. Givehim some time and space and then apologize to him andhave a deep conversation. Try to know what he wants andbe loyal to him.

IAM 32 YEARS OLD. MY HUSBAND IS 37. WE GOT MARRIED IN

2017. It was an arranged marriage. My husband andfamily wants to have a baby but I’m not ready for it. I am

a working lady and it is the peak of my career. I don't knowwhat to do. Please, give me some suggestions.

You need to have a real conversation with your husbandabout this. You will be the one to be responsible for thechild. Off course your husband and family will support youbut it will be totally your call. Tell them what you wish to do.

I’M A FEMALE OF 27 YEARS. I GOT DIVORCED IN JUNE BUT I CAN’Tforget my husband. He blocked me on WhatsApp beforethe divorce. But now he had unblocked me and keeps a

track of my WhatsApp status. I want to talk to him but I amclueless how to initiate a talk. After divorce, we don’t oweanything to each other, then why he unblocked me. I don’tunderstand how to crack a conversation without giving himany wrong hints. Please suggest.

Well, you need to move on in your life. You shouldrather focus on moving on and also let him move on. If stillyou would like to talk to him, don’t get personal and justdrop him a casual text like hi.

HEY! I NEED YOUR SUGGESTION. I HAVE BEEN IN A

relationship since 2017. He used to chat a lot earlier.But he changed completely after 5-6 months. He

neither calls me nor shares anything. We had never talkedabout his past. Now our families are planning our weddingwithin a year. He is still not ready to accept our relationship

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Did it happen with you, whenyou shared something withothers and you felt

overwhelmed? The joy of sharingwhich brought a big smile on yourface? Well, there are 2 types ofpeople the one who stronglybelieves in helping others and hasthe perspective that the more theywill share, the more they will gain.While the others have theperspective if they will share, theothers will rise to leave thembehind. So, come let’s see what allwe can share with others-

In terms of RespectExpecting others to speak with

you politely where you are in habitof speaking harshly or rudely will bewrong expectations. No matter theperson you are talking to is elder oryounger than you, if you will speakwith respect and love with wordslike “Haanji”; “Aap” or “Ji”, itsounds good and respectful. If youwill give respect, you can seekrespect from others. People willalways cherish to be around you andadmire you for your soft way ofspeaking!

In terms of loveMany people have money but

they still strived for love andaffection. The possible reasons maybe their outdated thinking, livingalone in a new place, introverts, oldpeople whose children leave themto settle in abroad, broken hearts,etc. These people only seek for littletime and love from you. Please

Spread Love to Everyone, It won’tCost Much To you!

In terms of providingknowledge

Some people have the wrongperspective that if they will providetheir knowledge or skills to theother person, the other person willbecome more successful fromthem. Mostly I have seen this inyounger children where they use tothink that my friend will get bettermarks than me. But it’s important tomake them understand that themore we share knowledge, themore we get perfect in ourconcepts. Moreover, the concepts,understanding level, detailedknowledge, and innovative ideaswithin you cannot be taken awayfrom you.

In terms of money:Money is something that never

becomes consistent in one’s life,sometimes it declines, whilesometimes it rises. Why to becomeproud of being rich? Be thankfulthat you are blessed and keephelping others. Being grateful toothers and receiving their blessingswill help you to grow in terms ofsuccess.

In terms of sharing thingsThe one who shares can never

fall short of anything. There will bealways a person to help you outwith your difficulties. If you willintegrate the values of sharingthings with other people, you willalways get inner satisfaction thatGod has given you the capabilitiesto help others. Sharing will preventyou from becoming greedy andselfish.

In terms of sharing pain:Sharing the pain of others will

help them to heal. Everyone haslosses- but if we share them withothers it becomes bearable. Helpingothers to express themselves infront of you can help them to bringsome sort of peace and relaxation intheir life. We have the habit ofkeeping them instead of sharingthem with someone. Sharehappiness and earn good wisheswhich will always make youremember till eternity. The beautyof happiness lies in “SHARING”. So,now think about which of the abovepersons you want to become?

Simplest ways to inspire people and change their life.By Richa Goel

Sharing Toolkit!

SHARING THE PAIN OFOTHERS WILL HELPTHEM TO HEAL.EVERYONE HAS LOSSES-BUT IF WE SHARE THEMWITH OTHERS ITBECOMES BEARABLE.HELPING OTHERS TOEXPRESS THEMSELVESIN FRONT OF YOU CANHELP THEM TO BRINGSOME SORT OF PEACEAND RELAXATION INTHEIR LIFE. We

HopeI t ’ s good to have . By Sree Kumar

ShortStory

He looked up andthere r ight in f rontof h im stood Mal in ih is heartthrobwhi le in Mumbai .Unbel ievable i t wasand i t was looks o fsurpr ise a l l around."You know h im?"the o ld man asked"Very much, Appa,and you a lso knowhim through me,"Mal in i sa id.

The truth they say isbitter. This incidentis true and hence will

not be a sweet one. Butthe truth has to be toldnow or later as it triumphsalways.

The story revolvesaround two close friendsGovind and Suresh. Theyparted after graduationand had no contacts orcommunication for over 30years. Govind had gone tothe Gulf and Sureshemployed in Mumbai.They hail from the sameplace but when one comesover on leave the other isaway. Fate had other plansand both of themaccidentally meet in acommon place after manymany years. In looks, bothhad changed drasticallywith receding hairlines and

had come and the lady adistant relative, unmarriedand Suresh shouldaccompany him the nextday to their house. It cameas a total surprise andshock to Suresh and hewas trying to find someexcuse to wriggle out.

"You know how much Idepend on you for mentalsolace and you can't refusethis," Govind said.

Next day they were offto the house andwelcomed warmly by ansick old man. Being distantrelatives they had much totalk about and the death ofthe lady of the house yearsearlier. Suresh was silentmost of the time. This wasno young man seeing a girland cutting short theformalities the old mancalls his daughter to jointhem in conversation.

With Suresh notinterested in thehappenings was with his

Fate is great and gaveme an opportunity

to see you.

body weight tippingtowards the right. Theyembraced each othercutting short the longseparation and surprisinglythe friendship and warmthreturned within no time.

It was good for both ofthem as retired ones andused to meet very oftenremembering those goodold days.

Suresh remained abachelor and Govind withtwo children married was awidower. Many a time"Why bachelor"? wasasked and the reply bySuresh was always a smile.

One day Govindrevealed his mind toSuresh. Living alone hasbecome difficult withchildren far away and asuggestion for remarriage

head down when he heardthe footsteps of onewalking in. There wassilence for a moment andthen he heard it loud andclear

"Suresh"He looked up and there

right in front of him stoodMalini his heartthrob whilein Mumbai. Unbelievable itwas and it was looks ofsurprise all around.

"You know him?" theold man asked

"Very much, Appa, andyou also know him throughme," Malini said.

The old man was tryingto recollect and slowlyshades of memory lashedon him as if pushing himinto a corner.

Govind was trying invain to make out what washappening when Malinicame and sat down and

spoke as if to her father."Appa this is the same

Suresh I was in love withwhen working in Mumbai.We were so much in loveand wanted to get marriedbut was refused by all dueto the caste difference,"We will not be alive" fromboth of you made us dropthe plans and the reason Iremain unmarried even atthis age. I agreed to thisgentleman coming andseeing me just for yoursake but I would havecertainly told him of thedifficulties as I canimagine no other personother than Suresh as myhusband. Now that he issettled I will remain likethis till the last".

"Suresh is unmarried,"murmured Govind

Did it not fall on herears?

"What? What did yousay?" her voice was loud

" Yes, he remainsunmarried."

None spoke and Maliniwas sobbinguncontrollably.

It was like a scene out ofa movie with all the

dramatics. The mission ofthe girl seeing came to anabrupt stop and it wasbecoming suffocating foreach one searching forwords. They bid farewell inan uncomfortable way.

The whole situation wasmurky with Suresh andGovind not knowing whatto talk to each other. A fewdays later a letter fromMalini to Suresh and theedited version said...

"I knew for sure that Iwill meet you some daybut never imagined it to

happen this way. Fate isgreat and gave me anopportunity to see you.Both of us know how muchwe loved each other andhow much we wanted tobe together but fate hadother plans.

“We have changed inlooks and also in thoughtsbut confess that my feelingtowards you remain asintense as ever. But wecannot reverted and I amglad you look healthy andhandsome as ever. A lot ofwater has flowed and youhave carved a life of yourown. I wish you all goodand happiness forever.

“If I am asked the lastwish it would be sitting byyour side holding handsand looking into your eyeswith silence speaking."

The story is “live withHOPE". We


I realize the well-known axiomgoes 'Relationships are made inparadise'. However, I didn't knowwhere that was or how to arrive,however, I unequivocally acceptthat God has an arrangement for usall of us fate will draw you by snareor by hooligan to where you shouldbe. I had guaranteed my father thatI would be prepared to considermarriage when I turned 26. Alongthese lines, however, I was at the

pinnacle of my vocation running mylifestyle website. When my cousinrecommended I should make anonline profile and guess what? I did.I made a particularly dull profile onshaadi.com that my father, aunties,and cousins surrendered andconcluded that at that rate, I couldnever discover a person. I didn'tknow I would get my fantasyfellow, yet I figured that there wasno damage in difficult. I had a 30-point list, which includedeverything from needing somebodytall and reasonable for needing himto a non-veggie lover and loveslistening to music. He likewise mustbe socially mindful, creature wellsettled of, love reading, etc. I thinkI got about 95% of what was on myrundown; however, I've failed toremember quite a bit of it. Allthings considered, I think I've wona lottery and got far beyond what Isought after. I was not veryenthused about moving out ofMumbai; however, I wasconversing with somebody fromLondon by then. He messaged me

on nineteenth June 2018. It tookme two days to answer as I wasoccupied. At the point when hissame message arrived again, I haveoccupied again and however Ianswered exclusively following twodays, what he had composed stoodout enough to be noticed and Iread it threefold. We talked atwhatever point we got time. Onefine day when he disclosed to mehe likes me and needed to marryme somewhere near June, I advisedhim to stop thinking way too muchbecause we had met through anarranged marriage scenario. After,a few days later I couldn’t controlmyself and, I confessed that I lovedhim as I felt that he can be the one,even before meeting him in person.My father knew that we weregetting to know each other; when Ifinally told my dad I wanted tomeet him, dad said to ask him tocome to Mumbai. He stepped offthe plane on Valentine’s Day,carrying flowers from Delhi, andstole my heart away.

–By Meera Mathur

Arranged-cum-love marriage

The Sex PyramidWhat is your deepest desire? By Faizan Alee

Staying alive on a tight eatingroutine drawn from onenutritional category isn't solid

or satisfying. Even, eating cupcakesevery minute of every day inevitablywould get old! But with regards totaking care of our sexual hunger, aconsiderable lot of us depend onone mode to satiate the entirety ofour emotional desires. Turns out,

ladies who request a similar feast ata similar café inevitably, in a mannerof speaking, is passing up a greatopportunity. Participating in variousshagging styles forestalls wearinessin the room, yet "it additionallysatisfies your numerous physicaland enthusiastic needs, permits youto communicate various parts ofyour character and empowers you

to develop explicitly as a team.Nobody is stating you need tointroduce an acrobat in your roomor welcome the neighbors toparticipate. But just as following thefood pyramid's guidelines willimprove your overall diet,integrating different types of sexinto your routine can healthy, well-rounded, and satisfying sex life.


IntimacyA relaxed exploration of one

another's body that permits you torestore your bond; it mightincorporate intercourse. Thebenefits of having an orgasm mayfeel better; but more estimatedlovemaking satisfies our naturalrequirement for enthusiasticcloseness. Since feeling in a state ofharmony is so essential torelationship fulfillment, close sex isfrequently at the base of ladies' sexpyramid. "Feeling associated andpassing on your love for each otherexpects you to back off and trulycheck out one another.”At the pointwhen you rush to the end goal, it'sanything but difficult to dismissyour accomplice's physical andpassionate needs. No matter howlong you've known your partner, hestill can't read your mind, socommunicate what makes you feelconnected. He probably doesn'tknow how much you miss thosemarathon make-out sessions—youhave to tell your partner! In themoment, do whatever you need todo to feel closer: Kiss, laugh, share asecret you've never told anyone.You'll feel so enamored that itwon't matter whether it ends with abang.

Be AdventurousWhat it is anything that is out of

the domain of your daily practice,regardless of whether it's anotherposition, sex in the shower, orsprucing up in a costume? Thebenefits Mixing it up in bedenhances your sexual self-esteem,so adventurous sex will probablyfall somewhere in the middle ofyour sex pyramid. "Accomplishingsomething else, regardless ofwhether it's 'effective,' will expandyour certainty and encourage you tostep out of your usual range offamiliarity all the more frequently.The formula if proposing the subjectof, state, attempting another sextoy appears to be scared, you'refollowing after some admirablepeople. "So many ladies need toexplore different avenues regardingtheir partners yet aren't sure how

to bring it up. They may stress theirmate will believe he's deficient, orthey're apprehensive he'll passjudgment on them or questionwhere they concocted the thoughtin any case

ElectricWhat it is fast, angry, and

strikingly short on foreplay: Let's dothis here and at present! (Alsoknown as quickie)The benefits for abusy lady who shuffles work,children, errands and that's only thetip of the iceberg, discovering timefor sex can introduce a challenge.That is the reason a fast in and outcan be the ideal arrangement whenyou have to sneak some loving' intoa busy schedule. It's likewise a fun,powerful approach to show youraccomplice that your relationship isstill on the radar, so electric sex mayinvolve one of the center levels ofyour pyramid. It can infuse a littleenergy into your life, as well: If bothof you can move back from yourwork area in the day escaping to gettogether for an hour and so isthrilling.

"FEELING ASSOCIATEDAND PASSING ON YOURLOVE FOR EACH OTHEREXPECTS YOU TO BACKOFF AND TRULY CHECKOUT ONE ANOTHER.”ATTHE POINT WHEN YOURUSH TO THE ENDGOAL, IT'S ANYTHINGBUT DIFFICULT TODISMISS YOURACCOMPLICE'SPHYSICAL ANDPASSIONATE NEEDS NOMATTER HOW LONGYOU'VE KNOWN YOURPARTNER.

UnapologeticWhat if you simply had a

significant victory? Now that it'sover, all you want to do is take eachother's clothes off so you can kissand make out. The benefits No oneis urging you to start a quarrel,however an intermittent sound, noabusive contention—wherein thetwo players communicate theiremotions and conclusions—can bea holding experience. Besides, thehormone that is delivered duringsex, oxytocin (otherwise called thecuddle hormone), can helpencourage compromise. "Havingintercourse is a type of expressionof remorse in itself," expert says.It's a physical method tocommunicate that you love eachother and need to work things out.Also, it's difficult to remain tickedoff when you've been spooningthroughout the night!

it might mean being on top ofblindfolding him. Offer thosemusings with your man to set thestate of mind and get the show onthe road; in case you're not slantedto have a discussion, demonstrationit out whenever you're sleeping."Having a specific visual picture inyour mind will move you totransform your dream into a reality.

SoloThe benefits Masturbation

shouldn't be saved for droughts orthose occasions when your nectar isaway. In case you're seeingsomeone have a functioning sexualcoexistence, solo sex may not bethe first concern, so it might be atthe tip of your pyramid. For singlewomen, it may be nearer to theestablishment. Yet, one thing'swithout a doubt: Singular meetingshave some genuine advantages.They feel thrilling as well as canlessen pressure, empower rest, andassist you with pointing youraccomplice the correct way whenyou do collaborate. Besides, "themore extended ladies abandon aclimax, the less they need and needit after some time," Read says,clarifying that climaxes producetestosterone, a similar hormonethat drives us to need sex in anycase. So the more climaxes youexperience, the more you need.

The formula Take the preferredposition of any calm alone time andtwist up with a hot novel, hot film,or just your preferred dream.Rather than going straight for thetypical problem areas, set aside theeffort to investigate your stomach,thighs, and different more subtleyet erogenous zones. "There mightbe portions of your body you couldnever speculate to be sexual thatend up offering extraordinary joy,"Levine demands. Still watchful?Masturbation isn't messy or wrong,you're not undermining youraccomplice and you won't becomedependent on counterfeitincitement like Charlotte on Sex andthe City did. It's only one of thenumerous fixings that make up aflavorful, even sex diet.


We

MASTURBATION ISN'TMESSY OR WRONG,YOU'RE NOTUNDERMINING YOURACCOMPLICE AND YOUWON'T BECOMEDEPENDENT ONCOUNTERFEITINCITEMENT LIKECHARLOTTE ON SEXAND THE CITY DID.

Responsibility You know precisely what you

need, and you're not going to stopuntil you get it. The benefits ofJumping into the driver's seat in thesack can be fantastically engaging.Assuming responsibility is anextraordinary chance tocommunicate and your wants,which fights that going after thereins can convert into feeling moreemphatic external the room. Sincebeing on the bossy side in bed isn'tfor everybody, assumeresponsibility sex regularly livestoward the head of most ladies'pyramid. It's diverse for each lady—

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A couple will undoubtedly faceissues and part of the idea of beingsomeone’s partner is working onnavigating through these thingsand coming out even stronger. Butyou’re fully aware of this and you’dlike to know how to save a marriageso that you two can be happytogether again! Improving thingsbetween you and your spouse isgoing to require patience,determination, and self-control.Whether the issue is anaccumulation of little things thatmake both of you unhappy orsomething substantial that hashappened, you can turn thesituation around.

I got married 20 yrs back. It wasan arranged one. I was so nervousand we had met only once or twicebefore marriage. Not so sure of myhusband’s temperament, I used totry cracking some conversation toknow him better, but all in vain. Westill got married, as my family foundhim suitable for me. But I was beingtold that he likes to speak less andhe’s sort of a reserved person. Myin-laws were good, co-operative,and understanding. Because myhusband was never interested intalking to me, I felt dejected. I had afeeling that maybe he likessomeone else or maybe he wasforced into this marriage. Whateverwas the situation with him, it wasme getting suffered all the time. Hewas very punctual in his routine, anearly riser, wanted breakfast ontime, and then used to leave foroffice, without saying even a word.I used to cry a lot, feeling he doesn’tlike me.

Modern ArrangedMarriages

Yes, how did you?We see many marriages floundering

but we also see marriages between theunlikeliest of spouses, not only survivingbut growing stronger with the years.Thanks to the tactics of one wise partner!Truly, a person’s successful mar riage justdoes not happen, it has to be workedat.

We would like to know as to how youovercame the crisis of a break-up ordiscord in your married life.

Did your husband (or wife) have aninfuriating habit, a hot temper, miserlyways, a roving eye or a lazydisposition? Since he is your husband,how did you cope with the situation andkeep your marriage happy and homesafe?

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Contributions should be neatly written

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Six months passed like this only. Itold everything to my parents. Mymother was so concerned that inthis way it won’t work. She triedtalking to my husband and in-laws.My in-laws assured me that they willsort things out. Then my in-lawstried the typical traditional way ofsorting things out and that was ofcourse demanding a grandchildfrom their son. And then for thefirst time, I saw him so angry withhis parents. I could not figure outthe reason for his behavior. He wentoffice after all this happened but fora change, he informed me that hewill be at home for lunch and hewants to talk to me.

Although he was so angry whileleaving but I was happy that hewants to talk with me. It wasn’t adate still butterflies were there in mystomach. Time passed too early thatday, but meanwhile, my parentscalled me and said that if it’s notworking between me and him, wecan get separated. Somehow, Iwanted to be with him as I had

started admiring him a lot. He was soperfect in all his roles except being ahusband. Finally, he came from theoffice, and during lunch, he asked meto join him.

My husband was looking at me asif he wants a starting point to cracka conversation. There was anawkward silence, so I broke the iceby asking why he was angry in themorning. Then he told me that hisparents want a grandchild. I got alittle bit conscious. He immediatelyread my expression and said he’snot planning anything now. Then Iasked what the issue is, he can tellme if he doesn’t like me or if there’ssomeone else in his life. He sharedthat during his college days he usedto like a girl but she was a seniorand she used to rag him. And theragging done by that girl killed hisself-confidence, now he doesn’t feelcomfortable with any girl. That’swhy all those cold reactions for metoo.

After listening to this, I was sorelieved that there’s some hope; ifwe try, we can be happily married.So, we decided to be friends at first,and then we will move forward inthe relationship. Gradually we fell inlove and now we do have kids too.Just a conversation over lunchchanged my whole life and savedmy marriage.

–By Sushila

From movies like Gunday toSultaan, and now anextraordinary series “Pati,

Patni, and Woh”, Anant had beenpart of many successful projects.Here's an excerpt of an exclusiveinterview with Anant Vidhaat .

From movies like Gunday toSultaan, and now an extraordinaryseries “Pati, Patni Aur Woh”, youhave been part of many successfulprojects. How does it feel whenpeople do recognize and appreciateyour work despite acting with bigstars like Salman Khan and all?

The feeling is astounding. It iswonderful that people recognizemy work. I have immense gratitudefor my fans and audiences who have

watched all the movies and shows Iam part of. It is incredible thatdespite working around big stars Istill got noticed. I feel extremelyfortunate.

How was your experienceworking with Yashraj Films? Wereyour previous projects as anassistant director help in any way?

YRF is amazing in theirtreatment towards the actors, andit is wonderful how they take careof all actors on the set. I have greatregards for YRF and I absolutelylove to work for any opportunitythat comes from them. I worked asan Assistant Director under SatishKaushik ji. I came to Mumbai to

assist him right aftermy final graduationexamination in Delhi.That period inparticular was veryimportant for me as Igot to learn abouthow films areactually made.Understanding howa movie setfunctions andgetting used to theambience of a filmmakingenvironment isvery crucial. And

this period of learning helped meimmensely when I became an actor,as the film making environment wasnot alien to me. But actually therewas a big gap between me being anAssistant Director and becoming anactor in movies, as after myassistant director days I went toEurope for around 3 years for myfurther in-depth actor training andthen came back to Mumbai.

When did you decide to pursueacting as a career? How was yourjourney up to here coming from anon-acting background?

I had started acting early in myschool days. I used to take part inschool plays and street plays duringthat time. When I was 13 or 14 Iadmitted to my parents about mydesire to be an actor. I also startedto engage in workshops held by TIEwhich is a part of the NationalSchool of Drama’s theatreeducation for children around thesame time. During my college (KiroriMal College, DU) I was an integralpart of our theatre society ‘ThePlayers’ and then I went toGrotowski Institute, Poland for anin-depth theatrical study and alsowent to Kerala after that to sharpenmy skills further, eventually came toMumbai to pursue my career inacting.

"It is a kind of luxury that OTT offers,"Says Pati, Patni Aur Woh fame Anant Vidhaat. By Himshikha Shukla

ActorA Magnificent



What were the challenges youfaced, before getting established inBollywood?

I believe it’s a journey and it’shard to ever claim that one isestablished in Bollywood. I don’tknow in this profession at whatpoint one can really feelestablished. Especially when you arean outsider it can be quite tricky. Asan Actor I had my own journey, Icome from a theatre background,and luckily My friends andcolleagues from my theatre dayswere also finding work in Mumbaiand we became a common networkfor each other. Some of us werehere to be actors, some directorsand writers so we all remainedconnected and tried to supporteach other to grow and achieve ourdreams whenever there was apossibility.

Any recent web series which youwatched and wanted to be a part ofit? Do you see any actor or celebrityas your competition in the industry?

There are a lot of web series thathave good content today. I recentlywatched Paatal Lok and I just lovedit. Specially the effortless andbrilliant Jaideep Ahlawat, It was asheer pleasure watching him. Butwhen I watch any show or movie, Iwatch them as an audience. I don’tthink of becoming a part of it orreplacing anyone while watching it.But yes a truly good movie or showinspires one to do such work.

I don’t consider anyone as mycompetitor or myself as acompetition to anybody in theindustry. Such competition doesn’texist anymore as every performerhas their own space to perform andget appreciated for their work andevery artist is getting theopportunity they deserve. Now withthe increasing number of platformswith OTT coming into the picturethe scope of visibility has alsoincreased. Whether it is a new showwith fresh faces or a big Hollywoodmovie, one sees the posters of allthe movies and shows lined up oneafter the other on the sameplatform.

Dharti”. It is due for release soonwhen the cinema halls will open up.I am playing one of the lead roles init along with Divyendu Sharma whoplays the other.

What is more challenging amongweb series, films and theatre plays?Which one is your favourite genre?

I don’t have any favorites. Allthree come with differentchallenges and excitement.Television, Cinema or anything thathas to do with cameras is differentfrom theatre as in theatre you haveto perform amongst live audience.So it is better to treat all of themdifferently for the uniqueness theybring with themselves.

Do you think Web series and OTTplatforms are changing the regularequations of the entertainmentindustry? Where did you findyourself standing in Silver screen vsOTT?

It has definitely changed theequation. Also, due to the Covidsituation OTT has found a dominantposition for itself as people aremostly at home and looking forgood contents on different OTTchannels. Fundamentally, it isstorytelling through camera, a goodweb series, or a good moviewhether on OTT or in Cinematheatre appeals similarly to people.But OTT has its advantages whichare huge, whether it is the moneyrisk or the time frame one has to telltheir story in, OTT has provided analternative which is more flexibleand friendly. In Cinemas one has tofinish story telling in 3 hours. But inOTT you can keep telling stories for10, 20, 30, 40 hours, make 6 seasonsout of it with multiple episodes. It isa kind of luxury that OTT offers. ButI don’t think there is any need tocategorize actors or directors onthe basis of the Silver screen or OTT.Big movie directors are making webshows and web movies similarly bigmovie stars are doing web content.It is not a question of choosing anyone over the other; rather OTTshould be seen as an extension oralternative to the cinema.

Which was your bestperformance till now, according toyou? If you got a chance to recreateany 90s movie and play a lead in it,which movie would it be?

It is very difficult to chooseamongst the characters that I haveplayed. The journey is veryimportant, how was your life at thattime, and how the character helpedyou and you helped the character toshape up. Every character is actuallyvery special as especially in moviesyou get to play the character onlyonce in your life. All characters arespecial and I can’t say that a cameo Iplayed in a movie is any less thanany bigger role or lead role that Ihave played in my career span.

In the 90's I was a big fan ofShahrukh Khan. I used to watch allhis movies. The one movie that Iwould like to recreate if I have theopportunity would be “Kabhi HaanKabhi Naa” directed by KundanShah. I loved SRK’s performance inthe movie and it will be an absolutepleasure to recreate the character“Sunil”.

What projects are you currentlyworking on? Which project is goingto release first in the coming days?

Right now I am shooting for aNetflix Show called “Mai” which isdirected by Atul Mongia. Anotherproject which was expected torelease in 2020 but could notbecause of the pandemic, themovie’s name is “Mere Desh ki

We

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Beauty with

Purity

Wedding day is a veryimportant day for a youngwoman who also aspires

to look like a princess with radiatingskin on her wedding day. With anumber of festivities lined up tocelebrate the happy occasion, it isimportant that the young bride-to-be looks as fresh as a daisy.According to Rumana Johar,Makeup Artist at JD Institute ofFashion Technology, though thewedding occasion is a happy one, itusually does tend to overwhelm alot of brides-to-be due to the arrayof things that need to get donealong with the added pressure tolook ones best. Hence in order to beready it is important to keep some

tips in mind, to breeze through thepre-wedding functions and waltzinto the D-Day like a dream.However, the preparation to lookones best needs to start months inadvance. Shares some vitalguidelines to get not just anexternal radiance but also glowfrom within, a pre-requisite forevery bride.

Though in the modern timesvisiting a dermatologist months inadvance and a beauty salon acouple of days before the weddingis customary, one can neverunderestimate the power of theage-old home remedies. One mayscoff and think that these remediesare passé in this 21st century, butthe older generations vouch bythem. Rightly so, since in the oldertimes without access to readymadeoff the counter beauty treatmentswere not available, one had to turnto nature and their kitchen for theirpre-wedding beauty rituals. Thoughhome-grown remedies are slowlygaining traction, just like everyother make-up routine it isimportant to understand our skintype and the reaction we will get

from a particular ingredient. Thereason to understand these

conditions will help toidentify the kind of

ingredients to steer

clear from. Some fruits andvegetables have the potential tocause an allergic reaction; it’s a trialand error method. Hence one needsto start by doing a patch test toidentify what will suit their body.Hence, brides-to-be are advised tostart their skin prep and exerciseregime atleast 4-5 months prior tothe wedding to avoid any allergiesand to get the best results.

Pre-Bridal skin care regimeSleep deprivation is a common

complain for most brides-to-be.Hence a total of 7 – 8 hours of sleepis a must. This is beneficial to lookfresh and prevent dark circles,puffiness on the face and edginess.Food is also important during thistime. Include a well-balanced dietatleast 5 – 6 months before thewedding to get a glowing skin. Itshould also include fresh fruits,green leafy vegetables and theconsumption of green juices. Junkfood, alcohol, coffee, cigarettes,fizzy drinks and late night partyingshould be avoided. Also stay awayfrom using citric fruits, Eucalyptusoil and Rosemary on your skindepending on your skin. Minimumof 2 – 3 litres of water must beconsumed on a daily basis to flushout toxins and makes your skin feelhydrated. Apart from food, it is

Brides-to-be try these home remedies to get enviable radiant skin.By Monika Agarwal

Bridal Skin Care

essential to get a good workout tostay fit and in shape for the runningaround that will be required for thefestivities. The plus side ofincorporating a fitness regime willalso prevent bloating, improvesblood circulation will deliver oxygenand nutrients to the skin whichkeeps the skin healthy, promotescollagen production.

Remedies for Glowing skinThere are different face masks

and regimes that suit particular skintype.

For Normal skinMix juice of whole Lemon Juice,

fistful of Multani Mitti (Fuller’sEarth) and two tablespoons ofwater to make a face mask. Thisshould be applied on the face andneck. This will ensure evening outthe skin tone. Adding pinch ofturmeric and strands of saffronelevates the glow on the face. Apartfrom lemon juice, multani mitti canbe combined with mint or evencoffee. Just like the combinationwith lemon juice, mint also helps toget rid of acne, whereas thecombination with coffee helps toexfoliate the skin.

For Dry Skin Mix Honey, few drops of Rose

water and half a cup of plain Curdand apply on the face and neck.Wash face well and dry itcompletely, then add toner beforeadding the mask to the face. Thismask helps to get an even tone andmakes the skin look brighter,nourishes the skin and providesmoisture thus enhancing the glow.It also hydrates the skin and makesit look plump.

APART FROMFOOD, IT ISESSENTIAL TO GETA GOOD WORKOUTTO STAY FIT AND INSHAPE FOR THERUNNING AROUNDTHAT WILL BEREQUIRED FOR THEFESTIVITIES.

Tea Tree Essential Oil: A naturalastringent, tea tree workseffectively in reducing oily skin aswell as tightening and toning largepores. It’s also a powerful acne-fighter. Apart from the differenttypes of facemasks for differentskin types, there are some Genericface packs that can be used for anytypes of skins.

Turmeric: This kitchen ingredientis blessed with anti-bacterialproperties. Mix about half ateaspoon of turmeric powder with acup of gram flour (chickpea flour).Add enough milk/water and mixwell to form a smooth paste. Now,add a few drops of rose water andmix again. Apply this paste on yourface and neck and leave on till itdries. Then, rinse off with coolwater.

Honey: Honey acts a moisturiserand hydrates your skin. You candirectly apply honey on your faceand neck area but ensure that yourskin is clean and damp. Massage fora few minutes, allowing it to getabsorbed by the skin. Now, washoff with lukewarm water.

Besan and Haldi: Use this packfor the medicinal effects of Haldiand scrub essence of Besan. Apply itall over your body and keep it forfive minutes. Multani mitti can alsobe used for body glow. Wash thebody pack with normal to lukewarmwater.

Apart from the face, the eyes area defining feature for brides-to-be.Hence, eyes also need equal care.


WEDDING IS ANIMPORTANT DAY FORYOUNG WOMEN, HENCE,LOOKING AND FEELINGGREAT GOES HAND INHAND. NOT JUSTEXTERNAL LOOKS BUTINTERNALLY TOO, THEBRIDE NEEDS TO FEELREJUVENATED ANDREADY TO TAKE ON THEDAY WITH APLOMB.

For Combination SkinFor those who are unsure of their

skin type use a mix of essential oilsas per skin requirement andseparate skin face packs can beapplied.

Coconut Oil: This humble nuttyfruit repairs and nourishes skin.Deeply penetrates skin pores,hydrates and lubricates dry skincells. Protects skin from free deep-seated damage and offers sunprotection. Heals inflammations andclears acne.


moisturise the skin, exfoliate faceand skin twice a week. Use facemasks twice a day, Add faceserums to your skin care regimeand also use eye creams to preventpuffiness.

Rumana Johar, Makeup Artist atJD Institute of Fashion Technology,says Exfoliation is anotherimportant addition in the skin careregimen. Helps to stimulatecollagen and keeps the skin lookingtight and youthful. The followingnatural exfoliant recipes are easyto create with great results.

● Mixing aloe vera gel withhoney and 2 drops of tea tree oil canreduce acne prone skin

● Oat meal scrub, Oats mixedwith coconut oil with brown sugarmakes a good exfoliant

● This nutritious nut is not justgreat in taste but also helps toprovide a radiant skin. GrindAlmonds and mix with milk to make

The best routines for getting rid ofdark circles and under eye bags are:

● Place cucumbers for 15-20minutes under the eye. This reducesthe appearance of dark circles

● Tea bags have the addedbenefit of antioxidants that helps tosoothe eyes, tea bags can bedirectly applied under the eyes

● Potatoes rich in Vitamin C andmost commonly used to treat undereye. Slice the potatoes and directlyapply it on the skin. Extract the juicefrom the potato and soak somecotton makeup remover pads in thejuice. Place the pads on the eyes forabout 10 minutes and then rinsewith warm water.

However, just following theabove mentioned steps are notimportant, instilling a disciplinedskincare regime is also importantto follow without fail.

Cleanse twice a day, removemakeup before going to bed,

an effective scrub.● Coffee powder mixed with

granulated sugar and water orlemon juice can help achievegorgeous skin

When we take care of otheraspects of our face, why leave lipsbehind. Hence exfoliating lips areequally important. Some of the tipsto get naturally enviable lips are asfollows:

● Sugar lip scrub mixing finelyground sugar with almond milk /coconut oil / honey / Vitamin E oilcan help achieve soft lips.

● Coffee lip scrub combiningcoffee with oil / honey.

Wedding is an important day foryoung women, hence, looking andfeeling great goes hand in hand. Notjust external looks but internallytoo, the bride needs to feelrejuvenated and ready to take onthe day with aplomb. We

The gorgeous ravines resonate in the sound of silence,The ghosts of the kindred haunt in the dead of the night,The cold darkness fills a dread in me,I shudder as I think of my friend.His soul music caressed the cool breezeA melancholy in every strum,His music reverberates in my earsAlas! Fills me with profound sorrow.

We grew up here amidst cloaked innocence,Watching the clouds, descend like a blanketTo protect us, the hills and the valley.The sunshine kissed the mountainsThe moonlight shimmered over the valley,A poet rose within meAs the beauty overwhelmed my senses,My home was a heaven,Now, a graveyard warped with timeI emerge as a grave diggerKnew not why my destiny was so,Why did I not run away?Did hope fail me abominably?I am too depressed and drainedTo even think straight,The poet in me had died slowlyI live in the shadow of ghosts.

“Oh! My beautiful home,” God’s own creationHumans have torn apartAnd turned it into a living hell,I yearn for that dear friend, his soothing music,“Will I ever see him again?” I wonder...“What lies beyond the hills?” I wonder.

– Revathi Raj Iyer.

Silence of the Valley

There comes a moment in ourlife when we all find ourselveson the path where we can't

understand in which direction tomove? The problems aresurrounded all over us and we donot understand where to proceed?Maybe, we all are in a situationwhere nothing seems right norwrong. We know that we are nothappy but still we do not knowwhat is lacking. We are still in thosemoments of life. Neither there isexcitement to perform some tasknor a problem to cry over.Sometimes, family issues, relative'staunt, over workload make uspissed off. It may be due to themonotonous life or nature of workwhere we too don’t know how toreact. Sometimes it seems as ifeverything is happening against ourwishes. We have so much to say butfall short of words to express.

Maybe, we are tired of explainingour point of view, maybe, we aretoo habitual to the situation that wedon’t bother to react, maybe, andwe do not have further stamina leftto fight for ourselves. There comesa moment when all of us want to

stay neutral. Our brain also getstired of working 24x7. It's a phase oftime where we want peace or rest.No opinions, no guidelines, noadvice, just a small interval of pausein our life where we can figure outwhat is happening in our life. Weneed a break from our regular life.At this moment, we may becomerude, confused, motionless, quiet,neutral, annoying, agitated etc. Likeit depends on person to person howthey react. The Emptiness ofthoughts sometimes works as arefreshing button. We need it oncein a few months. It is real freedomindeed.

SELF TALK MATTERSFOR US

It's okay if you are investing timein yourself. It's your life and givingtime to yourself is nothing wrong.

Sometimes we all need is self-observation to figure out things,making a list of our priorities onwhich we can work forward. Eventhe trees shed their leaves inautumn to flourish during winters.Similarly, the Sun sets in theevening to rise the next morning.So, it’s absolutely fine if we go outof the track to find our ownpotentials.

Don’t push yourself down bythinking about others, rather followyour dreams. Our Self-Talk mattersfor us. Never stop exploringyourself. At last, It’s Your Own Lifeand It’s Fine, to be imperfectsometimes. Give yourself time toheal, accept and to grow!Remember to always chase thethings you deserve.

“If you are successful for takingout time for yourself, consideryourself Lucky. None of us are livingforever, so pour your heart byspeaking out the hidden feelingsand set yourself free from all thepains. You have one life, doeverything that makes your hearthappy and brings peace to yourmind! ”


We

Little Time To Myself. By Richa Goel

Time forSelf-Talk

OUR BRAIN ALSO GETSTIRED OF WORKING24X7. IT'S A PHASE OFTIME WHERE WE WANTPEACE OR REST.

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This smart Red Velvetjacket comes with easy todo front buttons and it isan ideal winter wear,made with high quality, itkeeps your baby boyswarm.

Can Social Exclusion Lead To Suicide?By Monika Agarwal

Human beings cannot survivewithout a social network.From an evolutionary

perspective, a feeling ofbelongingness is necessary forsocial life for survival. When peopleare intentionally excluded from agroup, the experience can causeundue psychological stress, leadingto depression and suicidal ideation.Inclusion is essential for safety,physical well-being, reproductivesuccess, and mental health. Beingexcluded can be stressful on anumber of fronts and producenegative thoughts that can weakenthe immune system and causephysical illnesses in the long run. Asparadoxical as it may sound,belongingness is closely linked toour self-esteem.

Belonging to a group defines oursocial identity, which is a significantcomponent of our individualidentity. Social identity is the imageof yourself that emerges from theawareness that you belong to oneor more groups, which are in turncharacterized by their own valuesand characteristics. Consequently,social exclusion is one of the mostpainful experiences anyone can gothrough.

The Risk of

Social Isolation


The marginalization of anindividual by a group or even beingignored by another individual cannegatively affect the quality of life.If someone is ignored for a shortduration, they can recover from thepsychological effects. If the act isprolonged, the effect can turnchronic. Chronic exclusion causeschronic pain, which is associatedwith high levels of negativeemotions and a generally grimprognosis.

The effect of social exclusionPractically speaking, social

exclusion is linked to the risk ofunproductively, poverty, andfurther marginalization. The socialproblems related to exclusion areimportant from sociological,psychological, and economic pointsof view. Such experiences arecommonplace and categories ofpeople who are most vulnerableinclude single women, unemployedpeople, the disabled, and thehomeless. In truth, all of us undergoa lot of pain when we are excludedfrom a group.

There are also periods in one'slife when one is more vulnerable tosuch experiences, especially inadolescence. It is one of the mostimportant periods for fostering andstrengthening social relationshipswith our peer group. The need for asocial identity is the most importantneed at this stage of life.Acceptance and popularity greatlyplay an important role at this stage.Exclusion by peers can make onefeel unaccepted and create intensenegative feelings, which are oftenexacerbated by bullying.

Bullying is a widespread socialbehavior that is persistent across allage groups. It is often characterizedby violent verbal and physicalbehavior, apart from indirectpsychological aggression. Bulliesintentionally act out suchbehaviours on their victimsrepeatedly. It becomes hard toidentify when it is acted throughpeer exclusion strategies, which arequite commonplace but not aseasily noticeable.

This is compounded by the factthat newer forms of social exclusionhave emerged with newtechnologies, with cyber bullyingand sexting being the mostcommonly reported. There havebeen multiple reports ofadolescents being mocked,insulted, and attacked social media,so much so that they have had tochange schools. Sexting can alsolead to social violence if it is donenon-consensually, scarring thevictims deeply.

make progress on this front, wehave to overcome the culturalbarriers that prevent dialog andconfrontations on these issues thatare not only delicate but also comewith varying degrees of culturalbaggage.

Social exclusion is a complexphenomenon and can be analyzedby experts from different disciplinesfrom different points of view, withmany possible areas of convergenceand divergence. By factoring inquantitative aspects based onneuroscience and qualitative onesbased on psychology and sociology,we can deepen our understandingof the subject and come up withuseful strategies to promote socialinclusion. The pandemic hasbrought mental health issues to theforefront again and with a potentialepidemic looming over the horizon,we need more rigorous research onthis subject to foster greater peerunity and prevent suicides.

How can we address it?Such occurrences have led to an

increase in the risk factor forsuicide. It is something that isturning out to be a serious problemin countries across the world. It istime we consider it a global publichealth problem, and take steps todesign and implement appropriateinterventions to prevent suicidecases from going up. Suicide isparticularly difficult to deal withbecause it is deeply tied to anumber of religious and culturaltraditions. Although researchersand psychological experts havesuggested that suicide screeningprograms and suicide preventionprogramming at the school levelhelps lower the rate of suicides, wedon't have evidence-basedcomprehensive programs yet. To

PRACTICALLYSPEAKING, SOCIALEXCLUSION IS LINKEDTO THE RISK OFUNPRODUCTIVELY,POVERTY, ANDFURTHERMARGINALIZATION.THE SOCIAL PROBLEMSRELATED TOEXCLUSION AREIMPORTANT FROMSOCIOLOGICAL,PSYCHOLOGICAL, ANDECONOMIC POINTS OFVIEW.

We

FabulousLife is party, dress like it.

Pair this rose pink batlikinspired beach gown withstrappy flats to get thatmesmerizing look.

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Fashion by: Japnah Gaambhir, Founder & Designer of Majestic by JapnahJewellery by: Aditi Gupta, Multi Designer Clothing Accessories. Model: Eba BastianMakeup: Ayesha IraniHairstyle: Pankaj Sagar

Crafted in a premiummaterial, this long rubybeaded embellishedbeauty will surely raisethe bar of your off dutystyling.

Bra fitting can be confusingbecause there are so manypieces to literally fit together,

and it’s not something most Indianwomen are taught — not at home,in school, or anywhere else. There’sno real mechanism for thateducation. It’s not taught in highschool health classes. Manymothers overlook the chance tohelp their daughters get fitcorrectly, perhaps because theynever experienced the benefits ofthe right fit themselves.

Wearing the right bra is not just amatter of fashion – it’s a matter ofhealth and self-esteem. And yet 70-85% of women are wearing thewrong bra size. Even women whoknow their bras are uncomfortableand ill-fitting grab the same sizeover and over again, hoping for adifferent result.

Debunk the tree biggest myths of bra sizing

Myth 1: You don’t fit. That issimply not true. Bras come in sizesthat range from AAA to N, so thereis a bra out there for virtuallyeverybody, FIND IT.

Myth 2: Once you find your brasize, you are done. In fact, bra size isa moving target. Ask any growingteenager, new mother, or maturewoman. Bodies change and brasizes right along with them.

Myth 3: It’s easy to find your brasize. Simply put––it’s not. If youhave ever adjusted a slipping bra

strap, felt uncomfortable in yourbra, or wished for a bettersilhouette, then you know that thequest for the ideal bra can feelhopeless.

What you needA woman needs to wear

supportive and appropriateundergarments at all time. It isessential that every woman has thecorrect bra for her unique bodyshape. Selecting the rightunderwear for your unique bodytype makes all the difference in howyour clothes fit and lay against yourbody.

Undergarments tips:● For more support, chose a bra

with wider shoulder straps andwider side straps to give moresupport to the bust area whilesmoothing out the back.

● Different body types requiredifferent design. (Knowing yourbody type is a key)

● Pick a bra with appropriatecoverage. (Know your bust size)

● Go staples if your dress isstaples or has thin straps.

● Choose panties that don’tleave you with any visible pan tieline.

● Do not choose panties that aretoo tight and dig into your skin, thiswill give you unflattering andneedless rolls of skin.

● Choose the right color pantiesfor your outfit. Wearing dark

panties with a light dress is oftendisastrous.

Bra Care Having big boobs means you

need to wear a bra every day or runthe risk of giving yourself a blackeye! Investing in the right bras isessential and you want your bras tolast as long as possible so here aresome tips to give your bras a happylong life and a couple to keep yourboobs feeling great.

Always have at least 3everyday bras

My Mum’s tried and testedphrase is “one to wear, one to washand one to air” and it turns outshe’s right. The elastic in your bra iswhat keeps you comfortable andperky. The elastic heats up as youwear your bra and the heatstretches out the elastic. It takesover 24 hours for the elastic in yourbra to return to its shortest form(and therefore most supportive).The elastic will eventually stretch tothe point where it can’t bounceback which is why bras don’t liveforever.

How to wash your braAcross all over my area little

acts of bra brutality are happeningon a daily basis. It’s commonlyreferred to as ‘the tumble dryer’.Here I can offer you a guide tomaking your bra live longerthrough good care.


Are You Wearing the Right Bra and Undergarment Size? By Biimla Arya

Size Matters!

We

tolerated her but did not evenspeak to her. I called a taxi and tookher to the hospital as she was quiteill. Here she introduced me as herdaughter to everyone around. I wastouched! She was not only myneighbour, but my friend and nowalmost like my mother.

She soon became well andresumed duties and we continuedmeeting every day. She told me howher husband had come here andlater asked the elder two children tojoin him. A few years later theremaining three came but she wasnot invited. A bold lady, she herselfmade all arrangements and joinedthem, to their dismay. By this timethey had become westernised, worewestern clothes and even shed theirAsian names. Fakhra became Farahand Shaida became Sherry. Thechildren all lived their own lives,mixing with the local people, goingfor parties and dancing while themother was left all alone in anunheated uncarpeted room. Onlythe elder son occasionally spoke toher.

She became very fond of me andliterally treated me like a daughter.

I became pregnant and shefawned over my like a fond hen overher brood. She advised me andlooked after me.

And then came a time when I hadto say goodbye to her and return toIndia. I was eight months pregnantand my husband’s training hadcome to an end. As I packed mybags, Mrs Cheema could not controlher tears. Nor could I. It was as ifshe was losing her flesh and blooddaughter. We were being tornapart. We did not know whether wewould ever meet again. She huggedme close and pressed a small trinketin my hands as blessings for theunborn.

And as I boarded the plane on myreturn journey, my eyes were wetand my thoughts flew to her. Whowould look after her? Who wouldspeak to her now? With a heavyheart I bade goodbye.

Some 20 years later my husbandand I went back to Sheffield on a

brief visit. We had some work inLondon and I wanted to see my firsthome after marriage again. I couldnot resist going to Harcourt roadwhere I once lived. The houses werethe same. I could swear that thedustbins at the entrance were stillthe same. The garden where I hadspent many a happy moment wasstill there. So were the doors, thewindow and everything. The lakewhich I could see from my windowwas there, boating was going onand the big fat white ice-creamfellow was perhaps the same, Ididn’t know. It was as if time hadstood still and I was transportedback two decades.

I glanced at my neighbour’shouse. Was the Cheema family stillthere? I stood outside for a longtime pondering. Twenty years is along period and she would havebeen in her eighties or nineties ifshe was still alive. Should I knock? Alittle later I turned away and gotinto the car taking me back toLondon. I wanted my happymemories and my friendship withMrs Cheema to be unsullied. I didnot want to learn that she was deador that she was alone and sick.

Let sleeping dogs lie, I felt, andsaid a small prayer as I went back.But my memories of a goodneighbour , friend and mother stilllive in my mind. And nothing candestroy it.

– Dr Veena Adige, Mumbai.


Do you have any sweet/sour experiences with you immediate neighbour? We will be glad to publish them. Please sent them to:

NEIGHBOURS ALL

E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.Womansera.com

Name:

Mobile:

E-mail:

When we are abroad all Asianpeople grouped together. Whetherit is at the United states or UnitedKingdom or Australia or NewZealand. I was a new bride on mymaiden visit to Sheffield in Englandwhile she was a rural uneducatedwoman from Pakistan. We met andbecame instant friends though wecould converse only in broken Hindi,English or Urdu or by sign language.

Her elder son and daughter wereolder than me while the seconddaughter Farah was my age. Farahvisited me on the tenth day of myreaching there and introduced meto her mother. Mrs Cheema, thoughunlettered, was a woman of theworld. She had learnt everythingabout the place and could guide mein shopping, dressing and visiting.

She was warm, a bit loud butquite jolly. We had a commonbackyard where we could meet. Thestrong aroma of Punjabi foodwafting from her kitchen drew melike a magnet. My cooking was verybasic as I had not much botheredabout it back home, so her aloo kisabji and chole were very inviting.She loved sharing these with me.

I learnt later that her husbandand five children despised Asiancooking and preferred the Englishfood. She did not like it so shecooked only for herself (and nowfor me). We met every day as weworked together and this soonbecame routine. We did not visiteach other though we were closeneighbours.

This went on for some sixmonths or so when she fell ill. Asshe did not come out for three daysI decided to visit her. She was aloneand very sick. I was shocked onseeing her uncarpeted andunheated room, quite differentfrom the rest of the house. Sheshed tears on seeing me and toldme that her children and husband

Friendship knows no barriers

Pan AsianDiscover the most popular Asian recipes! By Roma Ghosh

pieces 100 gms of puisaag/Malabarspinach/saan choy2 tbsps of soya sauce10-12 garlic clove - whole andpeeled4 tsps of sesame oil1 tsp of brown sugar 1 tsp of sesame seeds - optional

METHOD100 gms pine nuts for

garnishing. These can be

substituted by fried cashewsWash the greens and dry with a

kitchen towel. Heat the oil and addthe sesame seeds - if using- andallow to splutter.Add the garliccloves and allow to ‘burn’ slightlytill a light brown in colour. Mix inthe veggies. Cook on mediumheat for 2-3 minutes. Add soyasauce, sugar and toss gently. Putoff the heat and garnish withpinenuts. Serve with steamedrice.

CHINESEGREENS WITHBURNT GARLICAND PINENUTSINGREDIENTS:100 gms of Bokchow cut into 2inch pieces1 cup shredded cabbage1 cup leeks cut into one inch

Amazing

Recipes

Chinese greens with burnt garlic and pine nuts

ASIAN CORNSTARTERINGREDIENTS:2 cups of corn niblets1 cup of carrots - scrapped and cutinto strips1 cup cucumber - cut into stripswithout peelingHalf yellow bell pepper- cut intostrips or small pieces Half green capsicum - cut intostrips or small pieces3 tsps of sesame oil1 tsp of red chillie paste1 tsp rice vinegar1 tsp of soya sauce10-12 mint leaves Boiled eggs for garnishing –optionalSalt

METHODHeat the oil and add the corn.

Add the chilli paste, add 2 pinchesof salt, mix well and fry onmedium heat for 2 minutes. Mix inthe remaining veggies and thevinegar, soya sauce and stir fry fora further 2-3 minutes. Add the

mint leaves and toss gently. Serveas a starter or an accompanimentwith any variety of Boa. You canadd chicken shreds if you want anon vegetarian dish. You can usethis to top rice wafers or put intocanapies while serving as a snack.

JAPANESENEGI (LEEKS)PATTIES INGREDIENTS:For the sauce

1 cup water2 tsps of rice vinegar1 tsp of soya sauce1 tsp of sugar 2 tsps of cornstarch For the patties1 cup chopped leeks2 tsps sesame oil4-5 beaten eggsSaltOil for pan frying the patties

METHODTo prepare the sauce: bring the

water to boil and add the vinegar,soya sauce and sugar. Lower theheat. Mix the conrstarch in 2 tbspsof water and add to the waterwith the soya sauce. Allow it tothicken and remove and keepaside for serving.

For the patties:Heat the oil and fry the leek

pieces till slightly softened. Take abowl and place the leek, add thebeaten eggs and salt to taste. Mixwith a fork. Heat a non stick panand add 2-3 tsps of oil and use theegg and leek batter to preparefour patties. Spoon each portiononto the non stick pan sprinkledwith oil. Cook the patties on lowflame on one side and then turnover so that both sides arecooked. Prepare 4 patties in thisway and serve with the sauce.

Asian corn starter

Japanese negi (leeks) patties

BAOVEGETARIANINGREDIENTS:2 and half cups of flour3 tbsps of milk powderHalf tsp of baking powder2 pinches salt3 tbsps of oil2 and a half level tsps of dry yeast2 tbsps of sugar - to mix with theyeastFor the filling:2 tsps of sesame oil1 cup of Bokchow chopped intosmall pieces1 small onion finely chhoppedHalf red bell pepper finelychopped - seeds removed100 gms of mashed tofuSalt to taste1 tsp of red chillie flakes1 tbsps of honeyFor the sauce: 2 tbsps of dark soya sauce1 tbsp of water1 tbsp of vinegar1 tbsp of crushed brown sugar2-3 chopped green chillies -optionalTo make the dough for the BaoSalt

METHODHeat the oil and add the corn.

Add the chilli paste, add 2 pinches

For the Buns:2 and a half cups of flour3 tbsps of milk powderHalf tsp of baking powder2 pinches salt3 tbsps of oil2 and a half level tsps of dry yeast2 tbsps of sugar - to mix with theyeastFor the tuna400 gms of boneless tuna fish1 and a quarter cups of chillie oil

METHODTo make the dough for the BunsSift together the flour, bakingpowder, salt and the milk powder.Place in a bowl. Take half cup ofluke warm water. To this add thesugar, mix and dissolve and thenadd the yeast and mix. Leaveaside for about 10 minutes so thatthe yeast is well risen and looksfluffy. Add this yeast mixture tothe sifted flour and knead to adough. Add the oil and knead wellto obtain a dough which is soft.Place in a big sized bowl so thatthere is enough space for thedough to rise to become atleast 3times its original size. Cover thebowl with a damp cloth and leavefor 2 hours to rise. Once thedough is almost 3 times its size,take it out from the bowl and usedry flour to knead it once again.

of salt, mix well and fry onmedium heat for 2 minutes. Mix inthe remaining veggies and thevinegar, soya sauce and stir fry fora further 2-3 minutes. Add themint leaves and toss gently. Serveas a starter or an accompanimentwith any variety of Boa. You canadd chicken shreds if you want anon vegetarian dish. You can usethis to top rice wafers or put intocanapies while serving as a snack.

FRIED CHINESEBUNS WITHTUNA FLAKESIN CHILLIE OILINGREDIENTS:

Bao vegetarian

Japanese negi (leeks) patties

Shape into a long roll workingwith both your hands. Divide thislong roll into 5-6 pieces. Shapeeach piece into a round ball.Prepare a steamer, once thewater is boiling place 4 inchessquares of butter paper on thecontainer which you are going toplace in the steamer. Rub a littleoil on each of the butter squarepieces - this is optional. Now placeeach of the flour balls on each ofthe butter paper squares. Coverwith the lid and steam the Bunsfor 12 minutes till risen. Pls makesure that there is enough spacefor the Bun to rise. If your steamercontainer is small, steam only 2-3Buns at a time, so that there isenough space in between eachBun giving each one enough spaceto rise. For frying the buns:

Brush each bun with any whiteoil and fry in a fryer for 2-3minutes in a pre heated air fryer. Ifyou dont have a air fryer you couldpan fry each bun on a pan, turningonce or twice till all sides arecrispy and brown. Serve with theTuna in chillie oil.To prepare the tuna:

Steam the tuna fish in asteamer till soft but not overcooked. The steaming should takeyou only 5-6 minutes. Tear intoshreds. Place 3-4 tsps of the chillieoil in a pan and heat on mediumheat. Add the tuna shreds and mixin the remaining chillie oil andcook on low heat for a further 2-3minutes. Serve with the friedChinese buns for breakfast.

CHIILIECHICKEN BAOINGREDIENTS:For the stuffing: 200 gms of boneless chicken cutinto very thin strips or bite sized

Place in a big sized bowl so thatthere is enough space for thedough to rise to become atleast 3times its original size. Cover thebowl with a damp cloth and leavefor 2 hours to rise. Once thedough is almost 3 times its size,take it out from the bowl and usedry flour to knead it once again.Shape into a long roll workingwith both your hands. Divide thislong roll into 5-6 pieces. Shapeeach piece into a round ball. Stuffeach ball with a small portion ofthe filling and re-shape into a ballonce again. Prepare a steamer,once the water is boiling place 4inches squares of butter paper onthe container which you are goingto place in the steamer. Rub alittle oil on each of the buttersquare pieces - this is optional.Cover with the lid and steam theBAOs for 12 minutes till risen. Plsmake sure that there is enoughspace for the boas to rise. If yoursteamer container is small, steamonly 2-3 Boas at a time, so thatthere is enough space in betweeneach Boa giving each one enoughspace to rise. Serving steaminghot with sauce.To make the chillie chickenstuffing:

Heat the oil. Add the chickenand stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Addthe sauces and cook on low fire

Woman’s Era ● February2021 71

small pieces or minced 3 tsps of sesame oil1 tsp of soya sauce1 tsp of chillie sauce1 tsp of tomato ketchup1 tsp of red chillie pasteFor the Bao:2 and a half cups of flour3 tbsps of milk powderHalf tsp of baking powder2 pinches salt3 tbsps of oil2 and a half level tsps of dry yeast2 tbsps of sugar - to mix with theyeastFor the sauce:2 tbsps of dark soya sauce1 tbsp of water1 tbsp of vinegar1 tbsp of crushed brown sugar2-3 chopped green chillies -optionalTo make the dough for the Baos

METHODSift together the flour, baking

powder, salt and the milk powder.Place in a bowl. Take half cup ofluke warm water. To this add thesugar, mix and dissolve and thenadd the yeast and mix. Leaveaside for about 10 minutes so thatthe yeast is well risen and looksfluffy. Add this yeast mixture tothe sifted flour and knead to adough. Add the oil and knead wellto obtain a dough which is soft.

Chiilie chicken Bao

3 tsps of white oil2 cups of grated cheese -Bhutanese cheese is ideal. Wehave mixed mozarella andparemesan in equal proportion

METHODMake a slit in the green chillies

and then split into two pieceseach. The seeds are not removedbut if you want the preparationless spicey you could removed theseeds. We have removed theseeds and keep the chillies whole.

Heat the oil and fry the onionstill translucent. Add the garlic and

BHUTANESEKEWA/EMADATSHI - PEPPERAND POTATOCHESSYDEITE INGREDIENTS:300 gmspicador chillie - big sizedgreen chillies2 potatoes peeled and cut intostrips - not too thin nor too thick -around 2 inches longSalt3 cloves of garlic 1 chopped onion1 chopped tomato

for 2 minutes so that the chickenis cooked. The preparation will beabsolutely dry. Remove from fireand use it for stuffing each of theBaos. You can use the same sauceas used for the vegetarian Baos.

SALT ANDPEPPERBROCCOLIWITH FRIEDCASHEWSINGREDIENTS:1 broccoli head cut into flowerets3 tbsps of gheeSalt and pepper as per taste50-60 gms of cashews

METHODHeat the ghee and fry the cashewstill a light golden brown. Removeand keep aside. In the same panadd the broccoli pieces and stir fryadding salt and pepper to taste.Stir fry for 2-3 minutes and servepiping hot garnished withcashews. Serve with stir friedgarlic noodles.

Salt and pepper Broccoli withfried cashews

Bhutanesekewa/emadatshi -pepper and potatochessydeite

A combination of carrots,capsicums, cucumber, radish,yellow bell pepper- All cut into match sticks For the egg paper rollOmelete prepared from one egginto thin sheetFew leaves of mint

METHODWork with one rice paper sheet

at one time. Take a widebowl/platter. Fill it half withwater. Dip the rice sheet in thebowl for 10 seconds and thengently lift it and place on a clothnapkin.

Now place one match stickeach of the carrot, raddish andcucumber - using 3-4 match sticksfor one rice paper. Keep thematch sticks on one edge of thewet rice paper and very gentlyusing both your hands roll over sotht the veggies are inside thepaper roll.

Serve as a snack with a sauceprepared with soya sauce, vinegarand chopped green chillies. Forthe egg paper roll - first place afew mint leaves on the wet ricepaper, then the omelet sheet androll over. This art looks difficultbut it is only a matter of trying it 2-3 times.

Serve as a healthy snack.

taste with salt and pepper andMix in the cornstarch mixed with 2tbsps of luke warm water. Add tothe soup and continue to cookand stir till the soup thickens.Adjust the consistency to yourliking. Serve garnished withcoriander or some boiled egg orstir fry some leeks andmushrooms cut into small piecesand fried in butter. Garnish thesoup with this and serve pipinghot with Chinese fried buns orBao.

RICE PAPERROLLS INGREDIENTS:8-10 rice paper sheetsFor the filling:

Leek andmushroom soup

Rice paper rolls

the tomatoes and fry for another2 minutes. Mix in the potato stripsand salt to taste. Stir gently andcook the potatoes covering with alid till only less than half cooked.Now mix in the chillies and stirgently. Add 2 cups of water andbring to a boil. Lower the heat andadd the cheese and cook and stirtill the cheese melts. Serve pipinghot with steamed rice.

LEEK ANDMUSHROOMSOUPINGREDIENTS:2 cups of leek cut into one inchpieces200 gms button mushrooms -keep whole, wash and prick200 ml coconut milk3 tsps of butter3 tsps of cornstarch Salt and pepper to taste

METHODHeat the butter and fry the leek

and mushrooms till a light brownin colour. Lower the heat and add300 ml of water. Add the lemongrass and bring to a boil. Boil overlow heat for 3-4 minutes. Add thecoconut milk and continue to boilfor another 2-3 minutes. Season to

cornflour mixture if you want.To prepare the rice: heat the

ghee add the mustard seeds andred chilllie and allow to splutter.Mix in the rice and stir fry for 2minutes. Add the coriander andmix well. Serve with the spiceyprawn preparation

ASIAN STYLECAULIFLOWER INGREDIENTS:1 medium sized cauliflower -broken into flowerets and discardthe rest of the cauliflower - thebaseSalt and pepperFor the cornflour paste for fryingthe cauliflower:3 tbsps of cornstarch2 tbspsmaida2 tbsps of rice flourSalt to taste1 tsp of white oilOil for deep fryingFor the orange /tomato/spiceysauce2 tbsps of oil3 tbsps tomato puree1 cup orange juice 2 tbsps of honey2 tsp of red chillie paste2 tsps of garlic paste

METHODSprinkle salt on the cauliflower

flowerets and keep aside for 10

DEVILEDPRAWNSSERVED WITHCORIANDERRICEINGREDIENTS:For the prawns 300 gms of prawns - headremoved and de- veined. You canuse either jumbo prawns ormedium sized, whatever isavailable 3 tsps of Thai curry paste - a littleless if you want it less spicey1 tsp of crushed brown sugar Half cup of tomato puree3 tbsps of sesame oilSalt to taste3 tsps of chopped spring onions -green portion only2 tsps of cornflour mixed in 5 tspsof water For the coriander rice2 cups of cooked rice - salt addedwhen cooking4 tbsps of chopped coriander2 tbsps of ghee 1 tsp of mustard seeds - optional 1 dried red chillie

METHODTo make the prawns:

In a bowl, mix the Thai redcurry paste, tomato puree and the

brown sugar in one cup of water.Add water a little at a time, mixingwell so that the paste and tomatopuree and sugar mix in togetherwith the water to form a thickpaste. Keep aside.

Heat the sesame oil and addthe prawns and cook for 1 minuteadding salt to taste. Lower theheat. Now mix in the paste andstir together and cook over lowheat for only 2-3 minutes. At thisstage, if you want the preparationto have slight gravy, you couldadd some luke warm water -maybe just 3-4 tbsps, continue tocook for only another fewseconds and put off the heat. Thespice in the preparation can bereduced by reducing the amountof the curry paste. If you want thegravy thicker, you can mix in thecornflour mixed in luke warmwater. But you can avoid the

Deviled prawns servedwith coriander rice

Asian style cauliflower

minutes. Pat dry with a towel toensure there is no moisture.

Take a bowl and add the cornflour, maida and rice flour and sifttogether. Add water a little at atime and form a smooth pasteadding salt and pepper. The batterwill be fairly thick.

Heat oil for deep frying thecauliflower. Dip each floweret inthe batter and deep fry 4-5 piecesat a time. Turn over so that allsides are cooked. Fry till goldenbrown and crispy. Fry all thecauliflower in this way.

Remove most of the oil leavingonly 3 tbsps in the pan. Lower theheat and add tomatopuree,orange juice and all the pastes andhoney. Add 1 cup of water andbring to a boil, you can adjust theconsistency and the amount asper your requirement. Mix in thefried cauliflower into the sauceand toss gently. Serve hot andcrispy as a tasty starter.

NEPALESEKOHLRABI -GANTHGOBIPREPARATIONINGREDIENTS:500 gms of ganthgobi2 tbsps of chopped onions 2 tomatoes chopped into pieces 3 tbsps of oil2 tsps of ginger garlic paste1 tsp of green chillie paste2 chopped onions2 tbsps of tomato paste

METHODPeel the kohlrabi and cut into oneinch cubes or pieces. Steam in asteamer till half tender. Remove,drain all the water and keep aside.Heat oil in a kadhai and fry theonions till translucent. Add the

chopped tomatoes and fry for oneminute. Then add the ginger garlicpaste and stir fry for 30 seconds.Mix in the steamed gobi and addthe remaining spices. Continue tocook on low fire, stirring fromtime to time adding the tomatopaste. Cook and stir on low fire.Cover with a lid and cook till thegobi is tender. The preparationwill be dry and can be served withsteamed rice or chappati.

EGGPLANTWITH LEEKAND SESAMESEEDSINGREDIENTS:300 gms eggplant - cut into oneinch stripsSaltHalf tsp of haldi powder100 gms of leeks cut into strips3 tbps of chillie garlic oil1 tsp of garlic paste2 tsps of red chillie paste

1 tsp of roasted sesame seeds forgarnishingOil for deep frying the brinjalpieces

METHODSprinkle salt and haldi on thebrinjal pieces and keep aside for10 minutes. Drain out all thewater, Heat oil for deep frying andfry the brinjal pieces till goldenbrown. Fry a few pieces at a timeso that these don’t crowd the oilpan. Remove and drain on kitchenpaper, Remove most of the oilleaving 2 tbsps in the pan. Add theleeks and fry on medium heat tilltranslucent. Add the remainingingredients and finally the friedbrinjals and toss gently. Garnishwith sesame seeds and serve withrice noodles for breakfast or maincourse.

Nepalese kohlrabi -ganthgobi preparation

Eggplant with leekand sesame seeds

simmering on low heat. Thicken thesauce as per your requiredconsistency. Keep aside. Heat theoil and add the galangal and lowerthe heat. Mix in the veggies and stirfry for 2 minutes. Mix in the cookednoodles and the lime leaves andpaste. Stir gently. Cook and stir overmedium heat for 3-4 minutes.Garnish with grilled pineapples.

To grill the pineapples:Sprinkle the dry spice powders

and grill over a grill or even anonstick pan, turning once or twicetill both sides of the pineapple looklight brown.

BANGLADESHIPUISAAGMETHULICHORCHORIE - MALABARSPINACHSEEDSPREPARATION INGREDIENTS:2 cups of puisaagmethuli - seedsof English spinach2 potatoes peeled and cut intocubes or medium-sized pieces1 cup brinjal cut into small pieces1 cup of broad beans - cut intomedium pieces2 tomatoes - chopped1 tsp of fresh turmeric paste1 tsp of green chillie paste1 tsp of garlic paste1 tbsp of coriander powder2 tsps of cumin powderSalt3 tbsps of mustard oil

METHODHeat the oil and add the

potatoes and fry over medium heat,add salt to taste, and fry for 2-3minutes. Lower the heat and mix inall other vegetables and thetomatoes. Cover with a lid and cook

2 tsps of jaggery2 tbsp of soya sauce2 tbps of tamarind pasteFor the pineapple:6-7 slices of pineapple1 tsps of allspice powderHalf tsp of red chillie powder -optional if you like it spicey

METHODBoil the PAD Thai noodles in

salted water till tender but notovercooked. Drain out excess waterand then wash under cold water.Keep in the strainer and keep aside.

To prepare the sauce: Heat a panand add the jaggery and stir till itmelts. Add one cup of water andthen mix in the soya sauce andtamarind sauce and allow

PAD THAINOODLESWITH GRILLEDPINEAPPLE ANDTHAI SAUCEINGREDIENTS:100 gms Pad Thai noodles5 tbsps of sesame oil3 tsps of garlic paste4-5 kafir lime leaves 1 tsp chopped galangalFor the veggies1 zucchini cut into rings200 gms mushrooms cut intosmall piecesFor the Thai sauce

Pad Thainoodles with grilledpineapple andThai sauce

BangladeshiPuisaagmethulichorchorie - Malabar spinach

seeds preparation


on low fire mixing the pastes andspices. Also, mix in thepuisaagmethuli. Add the salt and 2tbsps of water and mix gently.Cover with a lid and allow cookingon low fire till potatoes, otherveggies, and the puisaag seeds arecooked and softened. Serve withplain steamed rice.

BANGLADESHIFISH CHOPS INGREDIENTS:400 gms of boneless fish Salt 1 cup boiled mashed potatoes1 tsp of fresh turmeric paste1 tsp of green chillie paste1 tsp of red chillie paste1 tsp of sugar 1 tsp of mustard paste3 tbsps of mustard oil 3 cups of bread crumbs Oil for deep fryingMustard paste - kashondi forserving

METHODSteam the fish till soft. Cool and

place in a bowl. Mash the fish andadd the mashed potatoes and allthe pastes and the sugar. Mix well.Now heat the oil and fry the fishpotato mixture and fry on low heat,stirring from time to time. Cook for3-4 minutes till a fine aroma rises.Put off the heat and coolcompletely. Remove to a mixingbowl and divide the mixture into 7-8portions or according to the sizeyou want your chops. Shape intocircles, /elongated shapes and rolleach chop in bread crumbs andkeep aside. Coat all the chops inbread crumbs. You can first dip thechops in beaten eggs

And then roll in crumbs. But thatis purely optional.

Heat oil and fry the chops a fewat a time. Turnover and fry bothsides. Fry till golden brown andcrispy. Serve with kashondi -mustard sauce and kachumber.

MALAYSIANFISH CURRY -KARI IRANPIKATINGREDIENTS:For the spice powder:1 tsp of cumin seedsQuarter tsp of fenugreek seeds2 dried red chillies2 cardamoms2 cloves1 tsp of fennel seeds1 tbsp of coriander seeds

For the fish curry6-8 pieces of fish

Salt1 tsp of turmeric powder2 chopped onions100 ml of coconut milk

1 cup of oil - mustard orrefined

2 tbsps of tamarind paste2 punches sugar or 1 tsp of jaggery

METHODDry roast all the spices for the

Bangladeshi fish chops

Malaysian fish curry -Kari Iran Pikat

powder and grind into a dry paste.Keep aside. Sprinkle salt andturmeric on the fish pieces and keepaside. Heat the oil and fry theonions till translucent. Mix in theginger garlic paste. And the spicesand fry further 2-3 minutes on lowfire. Add the tomatoes, jaggery, andhalf cup water and continue to stirand cook. Now mix in 3 cups ofwater. Bring to a simmer, addthe fish pieces, and cover with alid and cook on low fire andcook till fish pieces are tenderbut not overcooked. It willtake only 3-4 minutes. Mixin the coconut milk andthe tamarind paste andstir gently. Serve withsteamed rice.

The variation you may fry thefish pieces or cook them raw. This isyour choice.

PATHISHAPTAINGREDIENTS:For the batter1 cup of rice flour

3 tbsps of flour2 pinches salt3 tbsps of sugar powder or gurGhee for frying the pathishaptaFor the filling:2 cups of freshly grated coconut 1 cup of ghee1 cup of khoya kheer3 tbsps of jaggery - gur1 tsp of cardamom powder

METHODFirst, prepare the filling by

heating the ghee and frying thecoconut over low heat till goldenbrown colour. Stir all the time. Nowmix in the khoya kheer and theelaichi powder and continue to stirand cook on very low fire. Add thejaggery and continue to cook on lowfire. Cook till the preparation isalmost dry and a fine aroma rises.Your filling is ready.

To prepare the batter: Sift therice flour, maida, salt and place in

a mixing bowl. Add the jaggeryor the sugar and blend,adding water to form asmooth dough of running

consistency. You can also use a

combination of milk and waterto make the paste. Blend well and

mix. Heat a non-stick pan and use asmall portion of the batter to makea pancake or a dosa. Place a smallportion of the coconut filling andcover from both ends as you woulddo for a pancake. This is a popularBangladesh misthi prepared duringthe winter months, especiallyduring Sankantri.

SPICEY FRIEDRICE IN CHILLIEGARLIC OILINGREDIENTS:2 cups cooked riceSalt4 tbsps of sesame oil3 tbsps of ready to use chilliegarlic oil1 cup fresh peasHalf cup corn nibletsRoasted peanuts for garnishing

METHODHeat the oil and fry the peas and

corn niblets on medium heat for 2-3minutes. Mix in the rise and thechillie garlic oil. Toss gently andserve hot. Garnish with peanuts ifyou like. Just adds to the taste.Serve hot.

Pathishapta

Spicey fried rice inchillie garlic oil


SRI LANKANCHICKENCURRY - KUKULMAS CURRYINGREDIENTS:Sri Lankan Spice Powder1 tsp of cumin seeds1 tbsp of coriander seeds1 tsp of peppercorns1 tsp of mustard seeds3 cloves4-5 cardamom 1 tsp fennel seeds - saunf1-inch piece of cinnamon stick2 dried red chillies

For the chicken curry1 kg of chicken pieces - with orwithout bones - medium pieces2 chopped onionsSalt1 tsp of haldi powder2 sprigs of curry leaves200 ml of coconut milk 2 tsps of ginger paste2 tsps of garlic paste1 cup of refined oil or mustard oil

METHODTo prepare the spice powderDry roast all the spices in a pan

till; a fine aroma rises. This shouldtake only 2-3 minutes on low fire.Cool to room temperature and then

dry grind to a powder. Keep asideHeat the oil in a pressure cooker

and fry the onions till translucent.Mix in the chicken pieces and salt totaste and fry over medium heat tillthe chicken pieces are a light goldenbrown.

Mix in the pastes and the currypowder and continue to stir on lowfire, mixing from time to time till thechicken looks brown and a finearoma rises.

Add 2 cups of water and pressurecook the chicken till tender. Cooland open the lid and then mix in thecoconut milk. Bring to a simmer andput off the heat. Serve piping hotwith paratha or masala rice orsteamed rice.

Sri Lankan Chicken Curry- Kukul Mas Curry

CARAMELIZEDMUSHROOMWITH PEANUTAND KAFIRDUST ANDSPICESMAYONNAISEINGREDIENTS:For the mushrooms 200 gms of button mushrooms2 tbsps of soya sauce2 tsps of sesame oil2 tsps of fresh basilTo caramelize the mushrooms2 tbsps of brown sugar For the peanut and kafir dust3 tbsps of roasted peanuts2 lime leaves2 dried red chilliesFor the spicey mayonnaise1 cup mayonnaise1-2 tsps of red chillie paste - as peryour tasteHalf tsp of lemon juice

METHODTo prepare the mushrooms:Prick the mushrooms and add

the remaining ingredients. Mix and

allow the mushrooms to remain inthis marinade for 2 hours,

Then place in a nonstick panadding the brown sugar and cooktill the sugar melts and themushrooms are caramelized. Thisshould be done on low heat.

For the peanut dust - in a mortarand pestle crush together thepeanuts, kafir lime leaves, and thered chillie to a coarse powder

Mis the spice paste and lemonjuice to the mayonnaise to obtain aspicey mayonnaise.

To serve:Spread a bit of spiced

mayonnaise, place a small portionof the peanut dust and place onecaramelized mushroom on this.Serve as a party starter.

SINGAPOREBEETROOTSOUPINGREDIENTS:200 gms of beetroot - peeled andcut into quarters and boiled tilltender1 large onion - finely chopped2 cloves garlic2 lime leavesSaltHalf inch piece galangal - cut intosmall pieces2 tbsps of sesame oil or butter2 tsps of lemon juice2 tsps of fish sauce - you can avoidthis1 cup coconut milk

METHODHeat the butter and fry the

Caramelizedmushroom with

peanut and kafirdust and spices

mayonnaise

Singapore beetroot soup

CURRIEDMOMOSINGREDIENTS:10-12 vegetarian steamed momosFor the sauce:1 cup tomato puree2 tbsps of tomato sauce1 tbsp of red chillie paste1 tbsp of garlic sauce 2 tbsps of chillie oil1 tbsp of brown sugar Half tsp of soya sauceHalf tsp of vinegar

METHODSalt to taste1 chopped onion -

optional if you are making it inIndian style.

The simple momo can be given alift in taste and looks. Either you mixall the sauces and stir fry themomos to give it a Thai or Chinesetaste.

Or you fry the onions and useonly the chillie paste and stir fry themomos in an Indian style.

To prepare the Thai or Chinesestyle you will need to mix all thesauces in a bowl. Heat a pan andadd the sauce and 3 tbsps of waterand warm the sauce. Add themomos and mix gently so that themomos are well coated with thespicy, hot tangy sauce. Serve as asnack.

onions till translucent. Add thegarlic, galangal, and lime leaves andstir for a minute. Add 3 cups ofwater and bring to a simmer andthen add the cooked beetrootpieces. Cook on low fire and allowthe beetroot to boil in this water.Put off the heat and remove thelime leaves and then with a handblender blend the soup. Add fishsauce, if you are using and thecoconut milk, Mix well and re-heatand then serve garnished with limeleaves, or coriander, or even aboiled egg. This soup has a tinge ofsweetness, sourness.

KHONAMKROKINGREDIENTS:

There are many varieties of Thaistreet food. We have combined afew to get a tasty and easy version2 beaten eggs2 tbsps of flourSaltHalf cup very finely choppedveggies - carrots, Bokchoy,spinach, capsicum - a combinationof all, or a few100 ml of coconut milk - or moredepending on how much you needto make the dough

Pepper powder to tasteSift together the maida and the

baking soda. Place in a bowl. Nowslowly add the eggs and keepstirring and mixing with a fork tomake a batter. Also, mix in thecoconut milk to obtain a smoothflowing batter. Add the veggies andmix well. Grease the mini appamtray. Heat the appam mini moldtray. Pour small portions into theappam mini molds. Lower the heat.Cover with a lid and allow the batterto cook slowly till the contents ineach mold have risen. Removegently and serve as a starter.

KhonamKrok

Curried momos

We

the kitchen is falling on deaf ears. Accordingto her, a girl should know how to prepare ameal, however well educated she may be!

Please tell me how to convince her that thisgender typing is wrong.

It must be quite irritating to be asked tohelp in the kitchen when your brothers are not,but this is not a big issue to be upset about.Why not you yourself, ask your brothers to

help in chopping and grinding along with you?Surely, oneor both of them may enjoy playing chef. After all, youcan assure them, the most celebrated chefs in the worldare men!

And, if you wish to be a woman of substance, youshould be wil l ing to don many caps…wife,mother,corporate head, social worker, etc, etc, withaplomp. Often, very successful career women can whipup a gourmet dinner with ease.For them, cooking is ahobby and a stress buster .It is just a matter of perspectivethat you should change. Do not consider cooking a meal isa menial task…it is very important. All this being said,humour your mother’s whim, and take this opportunityto learn kitchen tips from her.

If this does not convince you to accept your situation,tell her gently that you do not want to cook, when yourbrothers are exempted from it ,but do not hurt herfeelings. She means well, surely.

Iam 17 years old and my boyfriend is 20. We love each

other dearly and want to marry, but we cannotbecause we are legally under-aged. I wouldn’t mind

waiting for a few years but he wants to have sex, and thisI refuse to have, before being married.

Recently,he came up with an audacious plan. If we gotsecretly married in a temple , we could have sex, as wecould consider ourselves wedded. And later, after at anappropriate time, we could get married again openly.This could be after a couple of years when we are bothadults.

I am not in favour of this idea , just so that we canbecome intimate, but he is insistant. Please advise if thisis a right thing to do.

This is definitely a foolish option. Getting married in atemple does not lend legality to the couple if they areminors. Also, you need an officiating priest, witnesses andso forth. Are you willing to have all this?

Clearly, this boy wants sex and is mooting this templeidea just to lull you into agreeing. What guarantee do youhave that he will stick to his promises to marry you aftersome time. Once he has had his fill of your favours, hemay move on to other girl friends.

Where will that leave you? You will be unable to bringhim to book either because this is a secret pact with noevidence or proof.

He seems to be a selfish, selfcentred person, who istaking you for a dangerous ride. Dont be afraid that hewill ditch you if you do not concur with his plan. You aremuch better off without him.


IAM REALLY VERY CONFUSED AND UNHAPPY. I AM MY PARENTS’only child and the apple of their eyes. They have given me all that a girl could wish for, and I love them

very dearly.The problem which confronts me is this: my father is a

very successful businessman, the owner of threeflourishing electronic goods shops. All through the years,he has trained me in all the ins and outs of the trade,confident I would carry on his legacy and take care of hisnearly thousand strong loyal employees. I too want tofulfil his desire, but nowadays, a discontentment hassettled on me. Like so many of my friends, I want to goabroad to study Law.

If I reveal my dream to my father, I am sure it will breakhis heart. That I do not want to do, for anything in theworld. But then, what do I do -- sacrifice my dream andenter his business empire? Will I be happy? This dilemmais driving me crazy. I am a 17-year-old in a BusinessManagement course in college. Please advise.

It is really your decision and you should take it veryvery carefully without emotions and fanciful idealsinterfering with your thinking. If it has only recently thatyou are feeling this desire to go abroad, perhaps this isbecause you are envying your friends and want to do whatthey are doing.

Think carefully and honestly. If you are convinced thatyou want to study Law, it would then be good to talkabout it with your parents. Perhaps you could do Law andlater join the family ,business later. Your qualificationcould be a big asset to the company.

For the time being, play cool and do not do anything.Can you discuss this privately with your mother alone? Ifyour feelings remain unchanged it is better to revealthem to your father instead of bottling them up.

He could be very disappointed but if he loves you , hewill want your happiness, won’t he? Do not do anything ina hurry though; wait for some time, talk it over with adiscreet, sage older friend or relative like an aunt orgrandparent.

ISTUDY IN CLASS 12, BELONG TO A MIDDLE -CLASS FAMILY AND

have two older brothers. My parents are very keen togive us children a good education. To this end, I have

to admit , my parents treat me just like the boys and arepreparing to send me to the IIT. But on one count, mymother’s behaviour bugs me. She insists I help her in thekitchen during my free time and learn the rudiments ofcooking-- while she does not ask my brothers. Why thisdifferentiation? All my demands to make them work in

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Q A&Teenache

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Social Distancing An extraordinary time for connection and grace. By Shalini Bhardwaj

We, humans are innatelysocial creatures and justlike hunger and thirst

remaining socially connected is ourbiological need. Social interactionsnot only enhance our sense of selfbut are also important for ouroverall health and wellbeing.

Today, as the imperative needfor social distancing has put a pauseon normal socialising activities andphysical distancing continues to bean important way to protectourselves and those around ushowdo we create the condition forsocial interaction?


interaction in person and meeting insmall groups with appropriatephysical distancing and wearing amask can be very different fromconnecting digitally. So why not?Sometimes use exposure but ensurethat it is in small and safe ways. Alsowhen you plan to meet others, try tobe respectful to everyone’s comfortlevel.

We can make a life by what we give

Charles Dudley warner once said,“It is one of the beautiful

scheduling regular dates and timeswith family and friends for videocalls. It is said that every cloud has asilver lining and in thi sexceptionaltime of online schooling and workfrom home,focus on strengtheningrelationships with those aroundyou.Play hide and seek or treasurehunt with your toddler and with acup of evening teahave arejuvenating talk with yourneighbour from a safe distance overyour fence or balcony.

Undeniably, technology can neverfully replace the impact of human

A psychiatrist Dr Carolyn Boulossays “The importance of stayingsafe has to be balanced with thevery real health risks that can becaused by loneliness. During thistime, it is imperative that we do notdisconnect with one another. Infact, it is critical now than ever tovirtually come together. “

So, here is how we can nurturerelationships gracefullyand maintainconnectionsin safe waysduring thisextraordinary time-

Cherish your connectionsusing technology

One of the best uses oftechnology is that it brings peoplecloser irrespective of physicaldistance between them.By usinglatest technology we can actuallyhave some cherishable experiences.Some activities, when donetogether help in bonding andrelease endorphins, the brainchemicals that contribute tohappiness like making music andplaying games or watching movies.In a time when physical proximity isnot allowed, we can still undertakemany of these activities togetherthrough various online means. Havea game night with friends usingskype, face timeor google hangoutsand if you are a movie fan, sizzlesome popcorn and host a virtualwatch party. Even elements ofsports, like competition andexercise can be done collectivelybut separately using video chatapplications.

In recent days, the move toonline working has brought a newtrend of together alone. By beingonline together at the same time,two colleagues or friends can maketheir work more enjoyable and lesstedious. In an unprecedented timelike this, together alone experienceshave been found beneficial tohuman experience. Try to organisegroup activities like knitting orcooking over video chat or joinonline classes to learn virtual yogaor a new language.

Social media, when used wisely,is best for remaining connected toour near and dear ones.Consider

compensations of this life that noone can sincerely try to helpanother without helping himself.”

The current pandemic is leavingmillions of people sick and there arefamilies who are living with thedevastating loss of a loved one.People in the most vulnerablesituations are hit the hardest by thecrisis. Many are unemployed andstruggling to make their ends meet.Older adults, especiallythose withlow income have beendisproportionately victims of Covid-19. There is a good chance thatsome communities around you arelooking for help like food banks orhomeless shelters.Go through your

THERE IS A GOODCHANCE THAT SOMECOMMUNITIESAROUND YOU ARELOOKING FOR HELPLIKE FOOD BANKS ORHOMELESSSHELTERS.GOTHROUGH YOURHOUSEHOLD GOODSAND SEE IF YOU HAVEANYTHING THAT CAN BE DONATED TOPEOPLE IN NEED.

household goods and see if youhave anything that can be donatedto people in need. Clean yourclosets and see if you have anyclothes you can give away.Get someitems ready and donate to a localcharity.

If you have extra money, youmight look for national charity too.Do some homework so you’re clearin what ways your money will beused. Be kind, supportive andgenerous to others in whateverways you can be. It increases yourown sense of purpose andwell-being.

Empathy for others can go along way

In this unprecedented time whennot holding hands and not visitingsomeone is actually a sign of care,being empathetic and remainingopen to human connection is nowmore important than ever. Thereare many things you can do to helpmake a difference in yourcommunity that toofrom the safetyof your home.

Make a small gesture tosomeone in need- maybe itmeanssending your neighbour anencouraging note or reading to a

child online. Call your friends andfamily regularly to check on them.

The current crisis gives us anopportunity to build and nurturenew connections, which can bemaintained when life returns tonormal. There may be an elderlycouple in your area that is morevulnerable to infection than you areandcan’t make a trip to a grocerystore. Offer to pick up a few thingsfor them the next time you shop foryour own groceries. Doing smallthings for others, especially thosewho are affected by the pandemicdoesn’t have to take much of yourtime or effort and surprisingly, it

helps distract you from your ownworries.

These days there is a lot of badnews circulating over social mediaand news channels like economicdownturn, blame game politics andexpanding statistics aboutconfirmed cases? Spread positivityby committing yourself to share alittle kindness and good news.Compliment your friends, send akind note to someone youappreciate, or share some feel-goodpositive news. This will take a fewmoments of yours but couldbrighten someone else’s whole day.

Latest research has linked socialisolation to higher risk of a varietyof physical and mental healthproblems and these days’ newrealities like temporaryunemployment, social isolation anduncertainty about future along withthe threat of scary virus is affectingthe lives of many in a significantmanner.

You might find your friend orsomeone in your family needs anemotional support. Let them knowyou are available. Video call, chat ormessage people just to say that youare thinking of them. Just sparingyour few minutes to talk to peoplewill make them feel good and lesslonely.

It is a proven fact thatempathetic listening works as atherapy and can offer a much-needed emotional support.

Today, as we all are goingthrough challenging times, let ustake it as an opportunity to buildand strengthen our relations. In thepresent scenario, It is important tofind ground where we can engagein meaningful social connectionswhile staying safe and followingpublic health guidelines so thatwhen life returns to normal wedon’t find ourselves wandered offtoo apart from each other. As a verybasic level, as we limit ourselves inour safeperipheries, a simple helloand smile goes a long way.So takesmall initiatives and remainconnected so that social distancingdoesn’t become emotionaldistancing.


We

COMPLIMENT YOURFRIENDS, SEND A KINDNOTE TO SOMEONEYOU APPRECIATE, ORSHARE SOME FEEL-GOOD POSITIVE NEWS.THIS WILL TAKE A FEWMOMENTS OF YOURSBUT COULD BRIGHTENSOMEONE ELSE’SWHOLE DAY.


IHAVE A FAIR, SMOOTH COMPLEXION BUT RECENTLY

small greyish lump-like eruptions haveappeared on my left cheek and right temple.

Is this acne? I am 25 years old and too old toget this, isn’t it? Please advise.

It is difficult to assess your condition withoutexamination, but it does seem you are afflictedwith warts, and not acne.

This is caused by any one of several types of the humanpapilloma virus.It is contagious and infected by directcontact. Usually, the warts shrink and drop off withoutany treatment, in due course of time.These are notcancerous , just unsightly.

Wart infection is contracted through nicks in the skin,eczema,hang nails,etc.Persons with compromisedimmune systems like children and the elderly,and thosewith HIV, skin infections,etc, are more prone to it.

Over the counter salicylic acid and other such peelinggels, liquid and pads could work but do not apply this ondelicate facial skin face without the doctor’s permission.

In a nutshell, warts are harmless normally, but if thereis pain or discharge, you need treatment. Now, do go to askin specialist to get a professional diagnosis of yourcondition.

IA M O N L Y 35 Y E A R S O L D B U T A L R E A D Y H A V E L I N Es on my forehead. Please tell me how to get rid of them? Except for this, I am a good-looking

woman.Sometimes these horizontal forehead lines develop if

the person has a mannerism of wrinkling or lifting theforehead. Maybe, you do this?

Try doing facial yoga to help your problem. For this, sitin a comfortable position, relax your face muscles gently.Bring down your brows as low down as possible, pullingthem together simultaneously.

Relax. Then, lift your brows as high as you can, and asfar apart as possible. Relax. Do this five times severaltimes a day. This will help to smoothen out the lines bystretching the forehead skin.

Massage a little warmed coconut, almond or olive oil into your forehead once daily and wash off withwarm water. Hydrate your skin by drinking more liquids.Spritz your face with mineral water frequently if youhave dry skin, and do not neglect applying moisturiserreligiously.

Cosmetic surgery can also offer you options whereyour forehead skin is stretched and pinned back underhair. Botox injections also smoothen out lines andwrinkles but the effect is not permanent and theprocedure has to be repeated after some time.

IAM A 17-YEAR-OLD GIRL WITH AN EMBARRASSING PROBLEM. Ihave stick-out ears! Friends tease me, calling meJughead and other such funny names--- all in good

fun, of course, but this really hurts me a lot. Please tellme what can I do about this?

Most often, this is a hereditary feature…maybe yoursiblings or parents also have such ears? It is not anuncommon problem either and it does not bother manyowners much. Considering, however, that you aredistressed about it, you can consult a cosmetic surgeon forsolutions.

A simple procedure called otoplasty or pinna plastypulls the ear back to lie flat against the head. Perhaps,this could bring you relief.

If you do not want to consider surgery, you couldadopt a hair style which will cover your ears; loop yourhair over them and pin back . Or, you could comb yourhair down over the ears to hide them completely.

A remedy could also be to use super glue to gum yourear back l…but this will only bring respite for a short whileand also removing the glue can be a slightly painfulbusiness.

Sticking out ears can be pressed back considerably ifyou wear a band over them as constantly as possible too.

ALTHOUGH I AM FAIR SKINNED,MY ELBOWS AND KNEES ARE

dark. It embarrasses me although others don’tseem to notice my this problem. Is there a method

to lighten these trouble spots? I am a 17-year-old girlstudying in class 12.

The frequent cause of darkened elbows and knees isthe buildup of grime, dirt and dead skin cells, the result ofindifferent attention given to them at bathtime.

Many of us fail to notice that we hardly scrub ourelbows, knees and the nape of our neck when washing,resulting in this situation. But don’t despair. There areseveral simple antidotes for your problem.

Mix milk cream and turmeric powder in a saucer. Rubthis on your elbows and knees a good hour before yourbath, Then wash off with warm water.

A paste of milk and baking soda is another effectivewhitener, as are 1 tsp of yoghurt and 1 tsp of vinegar,turmeric and besan and yoghurt and vinegar.

Rub any of these pastes on the darkened skin in firmcircular movements to slough off the dead skin cells. Washoff.You will surely see results within a fortnight.

If you do not kitchenshelf remedies, you can get a goodwhitening cream of a reputed cosmetic firm. But do notneglect exfoliating the skin too regularly.

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Readers are invited to send their beauty problems andquestions regarding face, complexion, hair, skin, eyes, etc tothis column. Address your letters, written legibly or typed on white paper, to:

WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.

Q A&Beauty Queries

The bus driveShe dressed up fo r i t . By Rana Preet Gill

ShortStory

The t i red, sweatymass of tang ledbodies thatin fested the spacebetween the seats,looked l i ke a g iantmass that couldswir l anyone c loseto i ts surroundingsseemed to taper atthe end for somereason.

She sat in the buswondering if hewould take notice

that she had exchanged herregular seat for the spotthat would make her morevisible to him. She knew healways hung around theentrance, on the steps to bespecific, throughout hisshort journey from the ISBTto the Chowpatty. And shealways sat on the last seatof the bus just to make iteasier for her to get down.Though the ride got a littlebumpy she did not seem tomind. The tired, sweatymass of tangled bodies thatinfested the space betweenthe seats, looked like agiant mass that could swirlanyone close to itssurroundings seemed totaper at the end for somereason. But once he sawher as she was gettingdown and he was standingon the front steps, beingprodded by the conductorto move ahead, bus rideshad never been the same.

She had seen him liftinghis head from far away onlyto catch a glimpse of her.The first time it happened,her mind did not registeranything. Though sheavoided locking her gazewith any passenger butsome days when the eyecontact happened, she wasquick to avert her eyes andmaintain the perfunctoryseriousness of herexpressions. After all, shewas not the flimsy kind.She did not play this briefgame of unsaid promisesand unrequited love thatoften ping ponged like anunwanted ball in herdomain but she did not giveit enough inertia and theball would often lose itssteam if it was thrown inher direction.

But with him it wasdifferent. He did not

look like the man whowould just look at her onlyto let her go after a briefspell of attraction. She hadfound him a little strange, alittle different but veryhandsome and irresistible.She had always got downat the stop which was thesecond last stop before thebus ended its drive atChowpatty and startedback to ISBT. And all thosewho did not did not getdown at her stop wereeventually stalled for thelast stop.

Since he never got downat her stop, which was

the halt for the office-goers, she had gatheredthat he was not an officeguy like her and the otherswho peopled this bus. Shehad lamely called thisparticular bus as the officebus because it was the onlyone that started at 6 amfrom ISBT and since mostof the offices were locatedin the new complex thathas emerged before thescenic view of Chowpattyand started their workingat 7 am, this bus was aboon for office-goers. Shehad found the one-hourride painful and boring. Noone from her officecommuted in this bus. Shewas not comfortableenough to get friendly withpeople from other offices,men who often leered ather, their gaze penetratingthe thin fabric of herblouse tracing the straps ofher brassiere and lingeringon the folds of her saristopping there for a long

He moved his armbrushing against her

bare arm now.”

time as if trying to find away through it. But hisgaze was unlike them.

His gaze rested on herface. His eyes never lefthers and there was acertain comfort she drewfrom his stare that did notseem to undress or malignher. She wondered for dayswhat he must be doing for aliving. Certainly not theoffice type because he didnot get down at the spotdesignated for office-goersof that area. There were nowork places in a place likeChowpatty as far as sheknew. There weren’t anyshops as well, not big ones,just the roadside melee ofstalls that was thronged bynon-descript men andwomen in the evenings.People like her who workedin offices always went backhome and never everloitered in and around thatside of the beach whichserved nothing but grub inthe garb of infectious andcontaminated food andwater.

But his work was theleast of her concerns.

That day, she decided tomake things easier for him.She moved towards thefront seats with anenthusiasm and foundherself the comfortablespot from where hersighting would be easier forhim. He would not have tobe contented with just afaraway gaze, but a lotmore than that. He wouldbe able to look at her in amore proper way from hisdesignated place. Andsuddenly, her fingersreached her pitied cheeksand she wondered if hewould be able to spot thelittle disfigurement in herface more prominently andflinch.

The little spots on herface that he might not havespotted from a distancewould stand out now. Shewondered if he would berepelled by her not-so-clearskin that was fair but notflawless. She wondered ifthis little truth wouldchange anything betweenthem. She berated herselffor not being able todisguise her spots with thefoundation that had beenlying in her drawer for along time. It was given toher by her mother a fewmonths back when aprospective suitor hadcome with his family toview her. Though she wasable to hide the hideousspots with the applicationof the foundation, it wasnot enough for him. Thewanted dowry exceededtheir means and thealliance had died downbefore it materialised intoreality.

And since then she hadthrown the bottle offoundation in deep,unfathomable corners ofher drawer. The cheapmake-up had given her aflare-up of acne and thevery next day when shespotted the redpigmentation with theappearance of nasty littleacne she had a vicious rowwith her mother. It took aweek for that flare-up todie down but not beforegiving her some fresh spotsthat made her skin a littlemore imperfect. But todaywas the day when shewanted to look perfect. Thegaze of a stranger hadmade her feel wanted andshe wanted to present hermost appealing and alluringpicture today.

She had taken care towear her most presentablesari, the one she has

reserved for choicestoccasions or importantpresentations in her office.Her mother had cocked herhead slightly when she hademerged from bathroomsmelling nice and good.She had sniffed her with amocking glare, challengingher with her stare as shewas about to leave thehouse. This was her way ofconfronting her ever sinceshe was young andmalleable and this hadalways worked but nottoday. Now when she hadreached a ripe and matureage of 30, she was anythingbut not the one to be

trampled upon neither byher family nor by anyoneand yet here she was readyto give away everything tothat one look of a stranger.

As she sat in the buswaiting to be filled by theusual chatter of the office-goers, she noticed thateveryone was takingsecond looks at her. Theyknow that she preferredthe last seat despite thediscomfort of the bouncethat inevitably came withthe presence of huge tiresof the bus propelling it tomove further. There wassome whispering andmurmuring amongst themat this change of seatswhich died down as soonas the bus driver turned onthe ignition. She looked at

the front gate with ayearning only to find himmissing today. Even theconductor who wasstanding at his spotlooking at her with abewilderment finallysmiled, giving her a nod asshe looked away from himtrying to suppress herembarrassment at beingnoticed in such a blatantmanner. Her cheeksflushed with color as shesaw him running along theslow-moving bus andfinally making it to thestairs with one powerfullunge dislodging theconductor from his usualspot. The conductorcursed him as he movedtowards the passengersand began with his ritual ofticketing. She found himlooking intently at theback of the bus as shewondered as if he hadmissed seeing her. Shetouched her spots again alittle self-consciously thistime and looked at himwith an audacity trying tocatch his attention. Shelooked around trying tofind the presence of abeautiful maiden at theback of the bus, someonewho might have dethronedher from the pedestal butthere was no one.

She looked around tospot that one femalepresence to which he wasdirecting his attention atbut there was none. And asshe was done surveying thepeople around her, she wasback to eyeing him whenshe discovered asuppressed smile. He waslooking at her with anadoration that was hard tomiss. She flinched as shefound it hard to maintainher stiff demeanour. Shewanted to give him a hintthat she liked him but she

But today was theday when shewanted to lookper fect . The gazeo f a s t ranger hadmade her fee lwanted and shewanted to presenther most appea l ingand a l lu r ing p ic turetoday .


We

lost, she begin to sweatprofusely, gettingdisoriented at the chain ofevents. She had notexpected that a man whoseemed to never lookbeyond her face wouldtouch such a nether ofhuman behaviour. To betouched as if she wasnothing more than a meatpiece was more viciousthan being leered at.

When she did notmake a move to get

her bare arm movingwhich was now in contactwith him, he gotemboldened and discreetlyplaced his other handtouching the contours ofher breast through thefolds of her sari. She couldfeel him searching

impatiently as his fingerspoked her soft flesh. Hisleg jutted firmly againsthers, he was trying tocorner her into some kindof subjugation. A fewpassengers who werestanding on the front stepswere eyeing her precarioussituation with lot ofinterest. As he tried tograb her breast in his handshe finally found thecourage as she pushed himand slapped him tight onhis cheek. A sudden silenceengulfed the bus as it cameto a halt at her stop andshe made her move pasthim in an unhurriedmanner taking along herdignity and honour. A fewhands clapped and a fewmurmurs of approval cameher way but was gone.

was unable to do so butthen she knew that he hadfound out. But despite allthe things that were notsaid yet understood shewanted him to gain theimpression that she wasone respectable womanwho will not give her anyundue attention or powerover him.

She sat stoically, lookingat him intermittently as shefound him staring at herwith unblinking eyes. Whenthe lady passenger whowas sitting next to her gotdown, he quickly took thisopportunity as a signal andoccupied the seat next toher with an affected non-chalance. As if this was themost natural thing in theworld to do, occupy anempty seat. Her heart

palpitated as she struggledto control her excitement.The conductor gave her alascivious smile and nudgedthe man while passing nextto them. His thighs rubbedagainst the folds of her saribut she did not find thatunusual. It happened all thetime when two people aresitting together on a seatthat is not big enough. Shewas used to such physicalproximities that did notmean anything at all. Heplaced his hand next to hersand she panicked. She didnot make any move. Hemoved his arm brushingagainst her bare arm now.She cursed herself for notputting a full sleevedblouse. She was gettinguncomfortable at his touchnow. All the anticipation

story to call mine and I can tell thesame to the world. I was walkinginto the bridal studio for the firsttime and everyone was completestars struck. I tried on my firstwedding gown.

When the curtains were pulled,I was looking dreamy, ivory lacewedding gown. My face gotradiant with delight andexcitement and my eyes filled withlove. My husband lost for words athow beautiful I was looking on mywedding day. Also, kind ofsurprised at how grand thewedding gown is. You might evenwonder if that’s necessary for adress that you’re only going towear for a few hours. It almostseems too much, until youunderstand that at that moment, Iwas imagining walking down theaisle and exchanging the vows.The wedding gown selectionmeans that the day when youfinally give your partner a promiseis drawing nearer and I was neverfelt happier than the day of

selection of my wedding dress. Inaddition to feeling some strongemotions, your wedding day mayfeel surreal and leave you feelinglike you are in a different reality.Out of nowhere, we are encircledby companions, family, associates,and colleagues as we are deckedout in an excellent wedding outfitor tuxedo. We will be the center ofattention, often being pulled in anassortment of headings to chatwith every one of our visitors andtake photographs while takingcare of the subtleties of thewedding. There is a decentpossibility that we won't get anopportunity to rest or even getdone with eating at yourgathering. For the duration of theday, we will likely be astonished atall the help and love got from ourloved ones. Wedding days will bepassionate and it bodes well weare settling on a groundbreakingchoice before all the individualswe love the most.

– Rama

Wedding gowns with a Purpose

The first time I put on thewedding gown, I could feel theweight of the dress and it kind offelt like the weight of a weddingvows. Getting married wasbecoming very real! All thegorgeous diva’s that I use to lookup to in beautiful satire alwayslooked elegant in their weddinggown and had the most fairytale-like love stories. Even though Iknow we don’t live in a fairytale, Ifelt like I now had a special love



RAISINS ARE ONE OF THE TASTIEST AND HEALTHIEST DRY

fruits and also the most popular among all agegroups. But we have just heard that soaked raisins

should be a part of our daily diet. Please elaborate.Raisins are filled with various benefits, but this is true

that not all of us are aware of is that soaking them in waterenhances their efficacy. They are a storehouse of essentialnutrients such as iron, potassium, calcium, magnesium andfibre. these benefits are enhanced when soaked in waterovernight. Soaked raisins act as a natural laxative, helpprevent the onset of osteoporosis, boosts energy and ourimmune system. It is also rich in copper, which promotesthe absorption of iron.

HO W E S S E N T I A L I S D O I N G E X E R C I S E S I N O U R D A I L Y

routine to stay hale and hearty. How does pre and post workout meals affect the result of

our workout.Exercise is undoubtedly crucial to stay fit for us but what

meals are consumed before and after working out areequally important. A slice of peanut butter toast withbananas or yogurt with nuts and fruits is a good idea tohave as a pre workout meal. “After the workout, we needto consume a good amount of protein so as to repair anywear and tear, and to build muscle strength”. Rememberworkout alone won’t give good results.

IS IT JUSTIFIED TO CALL JAGGERY OR GUR A SUPERFOOD OF THE

WINTER SEASON?In our country where food and seasons are intertwined,

it is a blessing to be able to relish Nature's abundance.Jaggery is a good source of magnesium which helpsstimulate the release of 'feel good ' hormones. It is anantidote for the harm caused by pollution, as it helpscleanse respiratory tracts. It is also loaded with anti-oxidants and helps boost immunity. There are manyvarieties of gur, depending on which plant they areextracted from. Apart from cane sugar, jaggery is madefrom palm juice, called nolen gur, and from the sap ofcoconut. Palm juice jaggery is more dense in texture thancane ones. So it wouldn't be wrong to call jaggery asuperfood and the perfect winter companion.

PLEASE GIVE US A GLIMPSE OF “ THE POWER OF PISTACHIOS”.Pistachios are one of the lowest calorie nuts with only

160 calories in a single ounce. Gram for gram pistachioshave more protein than lentils, paneer and chickpeas. Theycontain monounsaturated fats, are naturally cholesterol freeand a rich source of dietary fibre, potassium and vitaminsand minerals like B6, thiamin, copper and phosphorous.

HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE AN EGG- IS IT A SNACK? IS IT A

MEAL? OR IS IT MERELY AN INGREDIENT IN GREATER DISHES?The glorious thing about an egg is that the

answer to the above questions is an emphatic YES.The egg is a staple of most non-vegetarian cuisines.It is so ubiquitous that often you don’t even realisethat you are eating it- in cakes, in ice cream andnaans. The omelette is one of the most popular egg

dishes in the world. There are a number of ways to cookeggs- boiled, pickled scrambled, fried and poached.

HOW DO YOU PROVE CRANBERRIES: SUPERFOOD THAT ACTS AS A

SHIELD?Cranberries grow under very special conditions and are

not produced in India. It is a versatile superfood that can beconsumed in various forms- raw, dried, frozen etc. They’re agood source of nutrients and vitamins and help instrengthening immunity, which is very important in thiscoronavirus outbreak. Cranberries are nearly 90% water.They are fat-free, cholesterol-free, low on sodium and agood source of dietary fiber. They also have flavonoids andother natural compounds that promote good health.

IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE A DESSERT WITHOUT REFINED SUGAR AND

NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?The best substitute for sugar when it comes to

desserts is dates. Soak the dates in hot water and make apuree. It ’s healthy and can also be stored in therefrigerator for frequent use. Palm jaggery can also beused. But you cannot simply swap refined sugar, withnatural sugar substitutes without the rich flavour theyeach bring. So the ideal substitute really just depends onthe dish you are making.

WHICH DISH CAN BE SAID TO BE A TRUE SUBSTITUTE FOR OMELETTE

FOR THE VEGETARIANS?Moonglet is touted as a vegetarian alternate for

omelette and is often referred to as vegetarian omelette ormoong dal omelette. It has all the goodness of the pulseand is a great breakfast and a snacking option. A moongletwith lots of vegetables, together with cheese etc is bothhealthy and tasty.

IF WE ARE EATING LOTS OF SALADS, BUT EVEN THEN WE ARE

QUESTIONED ABOUT IT BEING HEALTHY. HOW COME?Yes a salad consisting a lot of greens, vegetables and

fruits is considered healthy only till it’s dressing is alsohealthy. By incorporating an unhealthy ingredient like acalorific dressing into an otherwise healthy diet diminishesor kills the positive effects of the health food and makes itunhealthy.

— SAVITA BHARGAVA

Q A&Kitchen queries

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If you have any problem in cooking or kitchen, write toWoman’s Era. We shall try to help you sort it out. Address your queries to:WOMAN'S ERA, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg,New Delhi-110 055. Click womansera.com to lodge your queries.

Women's sexual desiresnaturally fluctuate overthe years. Highs and lows

commonly coincide with thebeginning or end of a relationshipor with major life changes, such aspregnancy, menopause or illness.Some medications used for mooddisorders also can cause low sexdrive in women.

If your lack of interest in sexcontinues or returns and causespersonal distress, you may have acondition called sexualinterest/arousal disorder.

But you don't have to meet this

medical definition to seek help. Ifyou're bothered by a low sex driveor decreased sex drive, there arelifestyle changes and sexualtechniques that may put you in themood more often. Somemedications may offer promise aswell.

SymptomsIf you want to have sex less

often than your partner does,neither one of you is necessarilyoutside the norm for people at yourstage in life — although yourdifferences may cause distress.

Similarly, even if your sex drive isweaker than it once was, yourrelationship may be stronger thanever. Bottom line:

There is no magic number todefine low sex drive. It variesamong women.

Symptoms of low sex drive inwomen include:● Having no interest in any type of

sexual activity, includingmasturbation

● Never or only seldom havingsexual fantasies or thoughts

● Being concerned by your lack ofsexual activity or fantasies


Why do

Women Lose their Sexual Desire?Low sex drive in woman. By A. Kartikeyan

CausesDesire for sex is based on a

complex interaction of many thingsaffecting intimacy, includingphysical and emotional well-being,experiences, beliefs, lifestyle, andyour current relationship. If you'reexperiencing a problem in any ofthese areas, it can affect your desirefor sex.

Physical causes: A wide range ofillnesses, physical changes andmedications can cause a low sexdrive, including:

Sexual problems. If you havepain during sex or can't orgasm, itcan reduce your desire for sex.

Medical diseases. Manynonsexual diseases can affect sexdrive, including arthritis, cancer,diabetes, high blood pressure,coronary artery disease andneurological diseases.

Medications. Certainprescription drugs, especiallyantidepressants called selectiveserotonin reuptake inhibitors, areknown to lower the sex drive.

Lifestyle habits. A glass of winemay put you in the mood, but toomuch alcohol can affect your sexdrive. The same is true of streetdrugs. Also, smoking decreasesblood flow, which may dull arousal.

Surgery. Any surgery related toyour breasts or genital tract canaffect your body image, sexualfunction and desire for sex.

Fatigue. Exhaustion from caringfor young children or aging parentscan contribute to low sex drive.Fatigue from illness or surgery alsocan play a role in a low sex drive.

Hormone changes:Changes in your hormone levels

may alter your desire for sex. Thiscan occur during:

Menopause. Estrogen levelsdrop during the transition tomenopause. This can make you lessinterested in sex and cause dryvaginal tissues, resulting in painfulor uncomfortable sex. Althoughmany women still have satisfyingsex during menopause and beyond,some experience a lagging libidoduring this hormonal change.

Pregnancy and breast-feeding.Hormone changes duringpregnancy, just after having a babyand during breast-feeding can put adamper on sex drive. Fatigue,changes in body image, and thepressures of pregnancy or caring for

a new baby also can contribute tochanges in your sexual desire.

Psychological causes:Your state of mind can affect

your sexual desire. There are manypsychological causes of low sexdrive, including:● Mental health problems, such as

anxiety or depression● Stress, such as financial stress or

work stress● Poor body image● Low self-esteem● History of physical or sexual

abuse● Previous negative sexual

experiences● Relationship issues For many women, emotionalcloseness is an essential prelude tosexual intimacy. So problems inyour relationship can be a majorfactor in low sex drive. Decreasedinterest in sex is often a result of


DESIRE FOR SEX ISBASED ON A COMPLEXINTERACTION OFMANY THINGSAFFECTING INTIMACY,INCLUDING PHYSICALAND EMOTIONALWELL-BEING,EXPERIENCES,BELIEFS, LIFESTYLE,AND YOUR CURRENTRELATIONSHIP. IFYOU'RE EXPERIENCINGA PROBLEM IN ANY OFTHESE AREAS, IT CANAFFECT YOUR DESIREFOR SEX.

Factors leadingto lack of

sexual desirein women

ongoing issues, such as:● Lack of connection with your

partner● Unresolved conflicts or fights● Poor communication of sexual

needs and preferences● Trust issues

TreatmentMost women benefit from a

treatment approach aimed at themany causes behind this condition.Recommendations may include sexeducation, counseling, andsometimes medication andhormone therapy.

Sex education and counseling:Talking with a sex therapist or

counselor skilled in addressingsexual concerns can help with lowsex drive. Therapy often includeseducation about sexual responseand techniques. Your therapist orcounselor likely will providerecommendations for readingmaterials or couples' exercises.Couples counseling that addressesrelationship issues may also helpincrease feelings of intimacy anddesire.

Medications:Your doctor will want to review

the medications you're alreadytaking, to see if any of them tend tocause sexual side effects. Forexample, antidepressants such asparoxetine (Paxil) and fluoxetine(Prozac, Sarafem) may lower sexdrive. Switching to bupropion(Wellbutrin SR, Wellbutrin XL) — adifferent type of antidepressant —usually improves sex drive and issometimes prescribed for womenwith sexual interest/arousaldisorder.

These medications aren't FDA-approved for use inpostmenopausal women.

Hormone therapyDryness or shrinking of the

vagina, one of the hallmark signs ofgenitourinary syndrome ofmenopause (GSM), might make sexuncomfortable and, in turn, reduceyour desire. Certain hormonemedications that aim to relieve GSMsymptoms could help make sexmore comfortable. And being morecomfortable during sex mayimprove your desire.

Lifestyle and home remediesHealthy lifestyle changes can

make a big difference in your desirefor sex:

Exercise. Regular aerobicexercise and strength training canincrease your stamina, improve yourbody image, lift your mood andboost your libido.

Stress less. Finding a better wayto cope with work stress, financialstress and daily hassles can enhanceyour sex drive.

Communicate with your partner.Couples who learn to communicatein an open, honest way usuallymaintain a stronger emotionalconnection, which can lead tobetter sex. Communicating aboutsex also is important. Talking aboutyour likes and dislikes can set thestage for greater sexual intimacy.

Set aside time for intimacy.Scheduling sex into your calendarmay seem contrived and boring. Butmaking intimacy a priority can helpput your sex drive back on track.

Add a little spice to your sex life.Try a different sexual position, adifferent time of day or a different


● Low sex drive can be verydifficult for you and yourpartner. It's natural to feelfrustrated or sad if you aren'table to be as sexy andromantic as you want — oryou used to be.

● At the same time, low sexdrive can make your partnerfeel rejected, which can leadto conflicts and strife. Andthis type of relationshipturmoil can further reducedesire for sex.

● It may help to remember thatfluctuations in the sex driveare a normal part of everyrelationship and every stageof life. Try not to focus all ofyour attention on sex.Instead, spend some timenurturing yourself and yourrelationship.

● Go for a long walk. Get a littleextra sleep. Kiss your partnergoodbye before you head outthe door. Make a date night atyour favorite restaurant.Feeling good about yourselfand your partner can actuallybe the best foreplay.

location for sex. Ask your partner tospend more time on foreplay. If youand your partner are open toexperimentation, sex toys andfantasy can help rekindle yoursexual desire.

Ditch bad habits. Smoking, illegaldrugs and excess alcohol can alldampen your sex drive. Ditchingthese bad habits may help give yoursex drive a boost and improve youroverall health.

Coping and SupportCoping and Support

We


birth. In about 1% of births, this doesn’t happen.The doctor must reach into the uterus andremove the placenta for which you may needanesthesia.

All women lose some blood during childbirth.A woman is more likely to lose a lot of blood ifthe labour is prolonged, the size of the baby isbig, when instrumental (vacuum, forceps) delivery

was required, after twin deliver or when the placenta doesn’tpass out on its own. In very few women (less than 1%) a bloodtransfusion may be required after vaginal birth if the bleedingwas excessive.

CAN I HAVE AN X RAY DONE DURING PREGNANCY?Though X rays are best avoided during pregnancy, a lot

depends upon why it is needed and how much beneficial it isto you at this point of time. The further the area to be X rayedis from your baby the less likely is it to cause harm. In any casethe abdomen is protected by a lead shield to avoid exposureof the baby to the rays.

IAM IN THE 8TH MONTH OF MY PREGNANCY. MY DOCTOR HAS ASKED

me to perform Kegel’s exercises. How are they done andwhat is the use?

Kegel’s exercises make the pelvic floor more elastic andstrong so that the child can pass through it comfortably.This is that part of the body that holds the pelvic organs inplace and is perforated by the urinary, vaginal and analorifices. It is made of muscle and fibrous tissue, Lie on theback with knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Squeeze thetwo buttock muscles together. While doing this press thethighs firmly together and pull up as though preventing thepassage of stool and urine. Count slowly from one to ten.Relax to the same number of counts. Do this 10 time each 3times a day. You can do this exercise daily, even in thestanding position, while cooking, washing, standing inqueues etc.

IAM THREE MONTHS PREGNANT AND THE ELDERS IN MY FAMILY INSIST

that I eat for two. As it is, it is becoming difficult to eat forone on account of the dyspepsia and the nausea. Please

tell me what should I do?One needs only 300 calories extra per day during

pregnancy (equivalent to two and half cups of toned milk)so the question of eating for two does not arise, especially ifthe second ‘person’ is microscopic to begin with and grows toa maximum size of 3-4 kilograms.

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS A PLACENTA?The placenta is fleshy plate like structure that is attached

to the uterine wall on one side and via the umbilical cord tothe baby’s navel. It carries oxygen and nutrition form themother to the baby and takes waste products and carbondioxide from the baby to the mother. It is usually attached tothe upper part of the uterus and is called the after birth in layterms for it is delivered soon after the baby as its utility isover.

– Dr. A.K. Bajaj

IAM IN THE NINTH MONTH OF MY FIRST PREGNANCY. MY PROBLEM IS

that both my nipples are retracted. This will cause difficultyin breast feeding my baby. Is there any way by which I can

improve the situation before delivery? You could begin by catching the nipple between your

thumb and forefinger and rolling it gently forwards. Repeatthis exercise daily. Alternatively there is a small plastic cupavailable that has to be put between the nipple and the brawith the mouth of the cup on the nipple. The negative pressureso created helps draw the nipple out in some cases. If this toofails, a nipple shield can be used to breast feet your child. Youwill be taught how to sterilise and use it after delivery.

IAM IN MY THIRTY SIXTH WEEK OF PREGNANCY AND HAVE BEEN

diagnosed to be a case of placenta previa. The doctor hassaid that I will need a cesarean section and blood for the

same. This has scared me for I know a lot of people who havehad a cesarean section but did not need blood. Kindlyenlighten me.

Occasionally the placenta is attached to the lower part ofthe uterus and is labeled as a low lying placenta as seen onultrasounds done in the first half of pregnancy. As pregnancyadvances, the uterus usually takes the placenta up with it.Only in a small percentage of cases it remains low - beforethe baby’s head. This can separate during sex, internalexamination or during the painless uterine contractions thatoccur throughout pregnancy, leading to vaginal bleeding. Theseverity of the bleed depends upon the degree of placentaprevia and the amount of separation and can cause gravecomplications. Usually a cesarean section is the best option forpregnancies with placenta previa and arranging bloodbeforehand in patients who are expected to bleed makessound clinical sense.

COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS DURING VAGINAL BIRTH?Labor contractions increase in intensity and duration over a

period of hours and slowly open the cervix. When the cervix iscompletely open, contractions help push the baby throughthe birth canal (vagina). Usually, the baby’s head comes outfirst, then the shoulders, followed by the rest of the body. Youwill be shifted to the labor room when the uterus is completelyopen (along with your birthing partner to offer support).

Some women (about 10-15%) need help getting the babythrough the birth canal. A doctor may apply a special vacuumcup or forceps to the baby’s head to help the mother push thebaby out. Many women get small tears around the vaginalopening. Sometimes the doctor will cut some tissue to makethe opening bigger (episiotomy) which require stitches. Thestitches will dissolve during healing. The area will be sore for afew days. Normally, the uterus expels the placenta soon after

Q A&I am Pregnant

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Is virtual the new reality? By Sujatha Rao

Weddings in our smallcommunity hailing fromUdupi are not very

outlandish affairs in the normalcourse. But this inter-caste lovemarriage of my brother’s daughterwas to be different. It was thewedding of the youngest member inboth bride’s and groom’s familiesand as per the groom’s familycustom, it was to be spread over 3-4days, unlike the typical 1-2 daysconservative ceremony norm of ourfamilies.

In fact, we eagerly lookedforward to this “different” one as ithad been a long time since we had awedding in the family. This was wayback in early January 2020. Theexcitement in the air was very muchpalpable as everyone got busymaking plans. The cousins of thecouple overseas commanded thatthey be informed about thewedding date at the earliest so thatthey could get hold of cheapertickets. As the days rolled on, whatto wear and where to shop were the

most hotly debated topics over ourphone calls.

But then COVID happened andout went all our plans. By lateFebruary, everyone realized thatvisits from the NRIs were totallyruled out. By August, it became veryclear that the virus wasn’t going togo away anytime soon. That waswhen the families decided to aheadwith the wedding and the date wereset as 14th September 2020. TheCeremony was to take place inBengaluru while some of us close

family members from the bride’sfamily were living across cities andtowns in the state of Telangana.

With the bulk of us find ourselveson the wrong side of the sixties andsome even of seventies, to ourgreat disappointment; we realizedthat travel for us Resident Indianswas also out of the question. Thewedding invitation was sent acrossover Whatsapp, followed bypersonal phone calls. But over boththese modes, it was made amplyclear that blessings were soughtonly through the invitees’ “virtualpresence”. A link was provided inthe invitation to the website thatwas to live webcast the weddingceremony.

Honestly speaking, we were allcrestfallen for having lost thatsingle opportunity to attend awedding in the family after a verylong time and that too such adifferent one from the same old,same old types. We reluctantlyreconciled to the fact of having towatch it from the safe distance ofhundreds of miles thanks to the0.06-micron virus that had begun torule over the lives of human beingsacross the globe.

Discussions over what to wear onthe wedding day had becomeredundant. The same held true forthe talks over the veritable menufor the ‘n’ number of ceremoniesthat were to happen before, during,and after the wedding. We settledourselves to witness what weopined to be a bland, low key, andinsipid ceremony of sorts.

My brother’s family offour made the journeyfrom Telangana toBengaluru by car fullyequipped with sanitizers,masks, gloves, tissues,etc. With the enormityof the situation hittingmy sister-in-law hard,she started throwingup in the car,necessitating an urgentvisit to the doctor on the way.They finally reached Bengaluru withgrim faces, tired bodies, and scaredminds. However, the welcome

reception they received from thegroom’s family managed to lift theirspirits a bit.

Finally, the day arrived and all ofus settled in front of our devicesacross the globe. Some of usdecided to watch it on the bigscreen, while some less techno-savvy people from the group (theones who didn’t dare explorebeyond clicking the link – lest itshould end up exploding in thefaces) had to reconcile to watchingit over their mobile phones.

The screen started displaying theimage of the Lord Ganesha – theIndian deity who single-handedlyheld the responsibility of wardingoff all the “Vighna” or the“untoward interruptions.” I reallyappreciated that idea till I realizedthat Lord Ganesha would becomethe “go-to” image whenever the

network broke down. Well, it was avery smart move. Who can dareblame the Lord Ganesha? Surely, itmust only be a temporary“interlude” ordained by the Lordhimself, pray you!

As the wedding ceremonyunfolded, I stretched out on myDiwan, in my comfortable housewear. My maid, who too wanted tosee the wedding on the TV, settleddown in the hall carrying on withher excited banter from behind hermask.

VIRTUAL WORLDSuddenly, the TV screen came

alive with the smiling faces of thebride and groom walking hand-in-hand towards the wedding mandap- the groom in his traditional whitedhoti and white silk shirt and thebride in her maroon gold zari sareewith a contrast green designerblouse - looking resplendent andglowing as happy couples do ontheir wedding day. The less than 15member entourage following themlooked insignificantly small fromwhat we were normally used toseeing during our weddingceremonies.

THE WEDDINGINVITATION WAS SENTACROSS OVERWHATSAPP, FOLLOWEDBY PERSONAL PHONECALLS. BUT OVER BOTHTHESE MODES, IT WASMADE AMPLY CLEARTHAT BLESSINGS WERESOUGHT ONLYTHROUGH THEINVITEES’ “VIRTUALPRESENCE”.

physically being present at theWedding.

Well, it removed all the stress ofhaving to dress up, going throughthose uncomfortable chats, thesweaty experience of enduringhours draped in a silk saree, etc.The only thing I missed was thedelectable food spread of an IndianWedding.

But I guess, that was a smallprice to pay for the luxury of beingable to watch it safely from thecomfort of one’s drawing-room (orkitchen for that matter) in themiddle of a raging pandemic acrossthe world.

I felt, my daughter’s Whatsappmessage was sent from the comfortof her home in California which read“It is one of the best weddings Ihave attended so far.

I did all my laundry, loaded mydishwasher, and finished otherchores - all while watching thewedding in my pajamas” summedup our collective feeling verybeautifully.


Attending the Wedding Virtually Evoked the Following Thoughts in me:

❥ Small is indeed beautiful. Askany parent who has performed thewedding during 2020 when theearnings of all kinds have taken abeating during the uncertain andextremely stressful times that wefind ourselves in, and I bet theyare sure to agree with this.

❥ The virtual attendancedoesn’t matter, as long as thesmiles on the faces of the coupleand the families are real andgenuine.

❥ If the equation of the boy’sside and girl’s side is equallybalanced in the real sense,weddings tend to be beautifuleven when viewed fromthousands of miles of distance.

❥ Attending a wedding athome wear happens to be a verybig luxury.

❥ Weddings are about the

union of two people in matrimonyand it’s just that. Everything elsehappens to be frills.

❥ Forced minimalist weddingsare perhaps one of the biggestbenefits of the pandemic.

❥ Technology gives a levelplaying platform – it gives theperson a similar experiencedespite the geographicaldistances or differences in timezones.

❥Attending a wedding virtuallybeing so much lighter oneveryone’s (including that of theinvitees) is an added advantage.

It also left me wonderingwhether the trend of virtualattendance at Indian weddingswould end up blazing a trail evenafterlife gets back to normal postCOVID era. I guess time only willtell.

As the ceremony went on, all ofus got busy on our phonescommenting on the various ritualsviz., Kashi Yatra, MangalasutraDharana, the sighting of ArundhatiNakshatra over our differentWhatsapp groups. As the coupletook their seven steps towards theirmarried life, the camera stoodfocused on their feet inviting acousin’s comment that it was thevery first time she saw the couple’sfeet so clearly during a wedding,When the “holy smoke” of the“homa” brought tears to those inphysical presence at the wedding,the highly allergic me was happy tohave escaped that ordeal.

Once the group photocomprising of about 15 people fromboth sides was flashed on thescreen, the newly married couplethanked the virtual audience with apolite Namaste and signed off.

As I logged off, it struck me that3 hours had simply flown by.Surprisingly, I felt the experiencewas better in many ways than

We

BUT I GUESS, THAT WAS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR THE LUXURY OF BEING ABLE TO WATCHIT SAFELY FROM THE COMFORT OF ONE’SDRAWING-ROOM (OR KITCHEN FOR THATMATTER) IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAGING PANDEMICACROSS THE WORLD.


3 to 4 times a day for about 6 weeks. Systemic broadspectrum antibiotics are very important, since thecondition is often associated with an asymptomaticvenereal infection. Improvement in personal hygieneand regular chlorination of swimming pool water willdefinitely decrease the spread the disease. Patient'ssexual partner should be examined and treated.

IAM A 27 YRS OLD WORKING WOMAN AND GOT MARRIED THREE

years back. In last three years I have got threeabortions in continuation. I have consulted a lady

doctor for this problem. After examination doctor toldme that there is no identifiable cause of abortion and toldme that you are suffering from recurrent (habitual)abortion and there are 70 to 80 percent chance of carryinga normal pregnancy and child birth. I want to know aboutthe causes, management and precautions taken in case ofrecurrent (habitual) abortion.

Recurrent (Habitual) abortion has been defined foryears as the loss of three or more previable more than500 gm pregnancies in succession. Recurrent abortionoccurs in about 0.4 to 0.8 percent of all pregnancies.Abnormalities related to recurrent abortion can beidentified in approximately half of the couples. If a womanhas lost three previous pregnancies without identifiablecause, she still has a 70 to 80 percent chance of carrying afetus to viability. If she has aborted four or five times, thelikelihood of a successful pregnancy is 65 to 70 percent.Recurrent abortion is a clinical rather than pathologicdiagnosis. Preconception therapy is aimed at detectionof maternal or paternal defects that may contribute toabortion. A thorough general and gynecologicexamination is essential. Polycystic ovaries should beruled out. A random blood glucose test and thyroidfunction studies should be done. Detection of lupusanticoagulant and other haemostatic abnormalities andan antinuclear antibody test may be indicated.Endometrial tissue should be examined in the postovulation stage of the cycle to determine the adequacy ofthe response of the endometrium to hormones. Thecompetency of the cervix must be determined andhysteroscopy or hysterography used to excludesubmucous myomas and congenital anomalies. Somewomen demonstrate a lack of maternal antibodyresponse to paternal lymphocytes, which is customarilyfound in normal women after successful childbearing.Provide early prenatal care and schedule frequent officevisits. Complete bed rest is justified only for bleeding orpain. The prognosis is excellent if the cause of abortioncan be corrected.

– Dr Sanjay Teotia.

MY DAUGHTER IS ABOUT 18 YRS OLD COLLEGE GOING GIRL,since last three to four weeks she is suffering fromirritation, itching, redness and swelling on the skin

of her externa ear, sometimes crust are also formed over it.We have consulted an ENT surgeon for this problem. Hetold us that she is suffering from eczematous otitis externaland advised treatment. I want to know about the causesand treatment of the disease.

Eczematous otitis externa is an allergic dermatitis ofthe external ear. The allergen may be extrinsic or intrinsic.Clinical features of the disease are irritation, redness andoedema (Swelling) of the skin of the external ear. Theseare followed by vesication, weeping and crust formation.The picture may be changed by secondary infection. Inchronic state scaling and fissuring occur. This may end instenosis (complete blockage) of the ear canal. Treatmentin acute stage consists of hydrocortisone acetate ointmentgives dramatic improvement. Antihistaminics should begiven systemically. Aluminium acetate 8 per cent orresorcin 5 per cent may be applied. In chronic stage silvernitrate 10 per cent solution is applied. In stenosis plasticoperation may be required but any treatment should betaken only by consultation of a doctor.

IAM A 30 YRS OLD WORKING WOMAN, SINCE LAST FOUR TO FIVE

weeks, I am suffering from discharge from my eyes,alongwith this other symptoms are ocular discomfort,

foreign body sensation and difficulty in opening eyes inbright light. I am also suffering from a gynecologicalproblem called cervicitis (inflammation of part of vagina). Ihave consulted an eye specialist for this problem. Afterexamination he told me that you are suffering from adultinclusion conjunctivitis and advised treatment I want toknow about the symptoms causes, treatment andprevention of the disease.

Adult inclusion conjunctivitis is a type of acute follicularconjunctivitis associated with mucopurulent discharge. Itusually affects the sexually active young adults. Inclusionconjunctivitis is caused by Serotypes D to K of chlamydiatrachomatis. The primary source of inflection is urethritis inmales and cervicitis in females. The transmission ofinfection may occur to eyes either through contaminatedfingers or more commonly through contaminated waterof swimming pools (hence the name swimming poolconjunctivitis). Symptoms of the disease are oculardiscomfort, foreign body sensation, mild photophobia andmucopurulent discharge from the eyes. Conjunctivabecomes red, upper part of the cornea becomes inflamed(swollen), lymp nodes behind the ear becomes swollen.Treatment consists of broad spectrum antibiotic eye drops

Readers are invited to send in any health and medical queries they would like to be answered. Woman’s Era willprovide answers to your questions and offer solutions toyour problems. Individual replies cannot be sent. Addressyour letters (neatly written on white paper) to:

WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.Womansera.com

Q A&Your Body

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Step 2

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SOFT SEXYGLAM MAKEUP!Easy, Quick FlawlessTutorial.

Prep the skin with amoisturizer.

To hide dark circles,apply your colourcorrection concealer.

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Shape the eyebrows.

Apply eyeliner.

Step 3

Step 4

Step 6Step 5

Lift the lashes with mascara.

Measure the lasheswith natural lash &apply it to give amore fluttery look.

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Step 10

MobileThe availability of too many options makes noreason to try! By Kalpna Gupta

Technology is serving uswith variousconnections these days.

Gone are those days whenthe sky used to witness theimpatient lover waiting forthe pigeon to drop by! Thetrin-trin of the landlinephone was another sourceof excitement when theparticular person wascalled up and brought to

the limelight saying- “yourcall!”Aren’t we missingthat curiosity? We title

ourselves to be technicallyadvanced. The race is not just

to possess a mobile phone butalso to be flamboyant if it isexpensive. Whilecommunicating, we are not justtwo but many. Today, we all

have become multi-tasking and,thus, are in multiple relationships.

Sitting together is seldombetween the two people. Thebeep of our mobile phones keepsreminding us that there is aworld outside waiting for us.Your lover can wait. Can’t shesee you are occupied withsome work? After all, it is thequestion to earn ‘Big’ (quotesintended). We have actuallydivided our affection. It is notjust our darling beloved whodeserves our time but‘technical darlings’ (punintended) are equally worthy.To express our love and

affection, we all have to use our

fingers instead of our hand-in-handgesture. The skin-to-skin affectionhas been transferred to the chatboxes.

“Loving someone is not a mood.It is a commitment even after yourmood changes”- says Jay Shetty, amotivational speaker. I wonderwhen it was when we ‘loved and‘committed to someone our love ismulti-rooted. We have distributedour limited emotions. It takes one’stime and effort to love someone.The gesture of meeting in person isat the top amongst all others. Oncontrary, we never meet as a coupleanymore.

We have multiplied withoutgetting married. It is the right time, Ibelieve, to update the word ‘couple’in the oxford dictionary as we arenot two who meet but four- ‘main,meri aur humare do phone’. It isdifficult here for me to writewhether the above mentioned self-created phrase is making me happyor worried.

‘What is it that makes ourrelationship strong?’ is an importantquestion now. The answer is one’sefforts. It is important to meet andspend time together. Mind it, ‘tomeet’ is more stressed here. Wemust have experienced individuallythat the little efforts make it big.The process, through which wesurpass, from leaving our toppriority work to making it happen tomeet that special one wants countsin the efforts.

While travelling, it is not just the

Many at aTime-the

Relationships?distance that we cover in kilometersbut the bag full of emotions(exciting and happy) travels with us.Is it worth mentioning now thathow important it is to acknowledgeeach other’s efforts? Think about it!School-going children are no longeran exception. They understand theterm ‘relationship’ but in a differentformat. For them, everything has tobe digital and technically sound.Then why not relationships? Ourchildren are much more stressedout than us. Their mind is not justgoing through a mentaldevelopment process but they aredrained out of innocence at muchearlier stage.

The age of childhood andadolescence are meant to be a care-free part of our struggle full life. It isfull of life and excitement. This ageasks for no reason to be happy.Unfortunately, the ‘mobilerelationships’ have ‘successfullyconnected’ to our little champs too.It not only has gifted them with‘diverted minds’ but also has taughtthem to be multicentric instead ofbeing unicentric.

After all, the world is just a clickaway now. Isn’t It.?

Facebook is a social platform. Ithas connected not only the statesbut also the countries. A girl sittingin India can have a ‘digital boyfriend‘sitting in the United States. What isthe bottom line of suchrelationships? Are these fulfilling?Well, we do have exceptions. Loveknows no boundaries. Be it caste,age, or country, love flies from chatboxes to video calls. It begins with‘let us know each other’ and ends at‘It’s not a match. You will findsomeone better’. It is mandatory toexpress oneself. It’s one’s duty toacknowledge that the person isindispensable. Then only we will be

able to convert our ‘moody love’ toa ‘committed ‘one.

I wonder what if we had the non-availability of the connecting wires.Would it have been that easy to‘move on’? The available optionsmake a difference. One isn’tbound to find solutions tomake up for the differences.Rather, it is much easier tostart with a new venture.The play store gives usthe platform. Where‘tinder’ allows to date,shaadi.com provides aplethora of profiles toscan and chooseaccording to one’sstandardized criteria.We are judged at everystep. So is our love. It isJudgmental.

TECHNICALADVANCEMENT

The digital worldintroduces people withtheir profiles to eachother. To put the cherryon the cake, thebeautification appsmake the complexionfair in a few seconds.The relationship beginson the grounds of being‘handsome’ and‘beautiful’. Where are thewords ‘honesty’ and‘committed’ lost? Doprofiles give access to theabstract norms too? Iwonder!

It was said that to solidifylove, physical intimation is amust. Contrarily, it is topsy-turvy now. Sex hits the list ofpointers for a relationship tosurvive. There is no time left for

WHILE TRAVELLING,IT IS NOT JUST THEDISTANCE THAT WECOVER INKILOMETERS BUTTHE BAG FULL OFEMOTIONS(EXCITING ANDHAPPY) TRAVELSWITH US. IS ITWORTHMENTIONING NOWTHAT HOWIMPORTANT IT IS TOACKNOWLEDGEEACH OTHER’SEFFORTS? THINKABOUT IT!

no more limited to parks. They havetheir office family still on theirmobile phones. The home-makershave become chefs as the recipesare right there in their pockets. Wehave advanced a lot.

DIGITALIZEDRELATIONSHIP

Old relationships are suffering abit. Aren’t they? We are so muchengrossed in looking intosomething ‘new’ that we end upspending major time there. One

day, the eyes of my mother stoppedon my cellphone. She wanted to talkto me for a while. The ‘digital’ mewas unavailable. Is it often that weask about the well-being of ourparents? Or are we busy sendinggroup messages of quotes on ourWatsapp status? The choice is stillours! Early to bed is early to rise.The duration of sleep in our day-to-day life makes us healthy. It affectsour mental health. We are confusedabout prioritizing our choices. Wesleep less and have disturbingdreams. The first task we do aftergetting up and the last before goingto bed is the same – checking ourmobile phones! We have forgottento wish ‘good night ‘to our familymembers. There are walls inside thewalls of our bedrooms which aredrifting us away moment bymoment, day by day.

The pandemic caused bycoronavirus has given newmeanings to education. It hasdigitalized the classrooms,students, and the parents.According to the department oftelecom, the daily averageconsumption in this period was 9%higher than 282 PB data used onMarch 21 (the day the Janta Curfewwas announced) and 13% more thanMarch 19 when consumption was270 PB. The school children havestopped referring to the hard copiesof their textbooks. They arelearning mathematics online whichis a practical subject altogether.Moreover, it has become a one-waycommunication. The students areasked to keep their accounts onmute and just sit and listen to whatthe teacher has to say. The passiveclassrooms have become more of adictator than the facilitators.

It is high time to rethink ourinvestment plans. Let us invest ourtime and efforts in our relationshipsmore in person than digitally. It isimportant to understand thattechnology can never be areplacement for our friends andfamily. The personification of ourmobile relationships is worthrevising.

I wish all of us the sunshine.

104 Woman’s Era ● January 2021

We

A GIRL SITTING IN INDIACAN HAVE A ‘DIGITALBOYFRIEND ‘SITTING INTHE UNITED STATES.WHAT IS THE BOTTOMLINE OF SUCHRELATIONSHIPS?ARE THESE FULFILLING?WELL, WE DO HAVEEXCEPTIONS. LOVEKNOWS NOBOUNDARIES. BE ITCASTE, AGE, ORCOUNTRY, LOVE FLIESFROM CHAT BOXES TOVIDEO CALLS.

knowing the partner. The assets areunveiled over mobile phones whichforms the base for the first meeting.It is to mention here that certainlysex plays a prominent role inrelationships. It is impossible tochallenge the source creation of thisuniverse. The question is of theimpatience. The technicaladvancement of mobile phones hasmade it easy. We can hear and seeeach other live. The wait is whentechnology will even replace themeetings- in-person to meetings-in-person on mobile phonesthemselves.

I have come in touch with myschool buddies on Facebook. Werevised our teachers whose lectureswe used to enjoy a lot. The friendwho was a cry baby became thehero of our conversation. Aclassmate has finally asked for areunion. You see-many at a time! Itbecame possible only because oftechnology. Had such platforms notbeen there, we would never havecrossed each other’s paths again.For every single piece ofinformation, we Google itimmediately. The e-editions of theprint media have made it easy forthe readers to carry the newspaperson their mobile phones.

The retired people from jobs are


when the baby is sleeping. When the breathholding spells last longer or the baby turns blue itis cause for concern a pediatric consult iswarranted.

MY NEWBORN DAUGHTER PASSED BLOOD FROM

HER private parts a few days afterdelivery. This has alarmed us terribly.

What could be the cause?Maternal hormones circulate in the baby’s blood while

she is in the uterus. At delivery the sudden withdrawal ofthese hormones lead to a menstruation like situation which isentirely harmless. It does not require treatment and will not recur.

HOW DO I KEEP MY CHILD SAFE DURING THESE TRYING DAYS

OF CORONA?✿ Keep your child home. ✿ Teach him the right method of washing hands – front,

back, knuckles, between the fingers and thumb fortwenty seconds. Everyone in the family should washtheir hands as well and often. Soap and water sufficesto kill the virus though one can use an alcohol-basedhand sanitizer in case the hands are clean but one hastouched a surface that might be contaminated by aperson with corona.

✿ Use regular household cleaners or wipes to cleanthings that get touched a lot (doorknobs, lightswitches, toys, remote controls, phones, etc.). Do thisevery day.

✿ Teach everyone in the household to cough and sneezein the crook of their elbows.

✿ Avoid contact with other people, especially those whoare sick.

IHAVE RECENTLY GIVEN BIRTH TO A BEAUTIFUL BABY. Iwould very much like to know what to expect in the coming year in the way of mental development

of a child?The mental milestones of a child are as follows:✿ 6-8 weeks – smiles, follows objects with his eyes and

begins to vocalize. Recognizes you by 8 weeks.✿ 8-12 weeks - a child can hear sounds and respond to

them. He can perceive touch, smell and taste and seespatterns and contrast. At two months he beginscooing and responds to the caregiver. All perceptionsbecome more acute.

✿ 16 weeks - laughs and plays with his hands and feet.✿ 7 – 9 months - his vision becomes more focused. He

can distinguish patterns and visualize all colours.Hearing improves. Likes being read to. Responds to‘NO’.

✿ 10-12 months - a child learns to connect meaningswith words. He speaks his first words and can alsodistinguish features. Imitates actions, responds toquestions, plays games.

✿ 18 months – the baby can toddle and play.– Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.

MY NEIGHBOUR’S DAUGHTER HAS WHITE SPOTS ON HER body.Even the hair on the affected areas is white. Peoplesay it is a form of leprosy. As she comes over often to

play with my daughter I am worried fest she catch thedreadful disease. Please let me know if it is contagious or not.

Your neighbour’s daughter is suffering from vitilgo, alsoknown as leucoderma. This ailment occurs due to the lossof skin pigment called melanin, which is responsible for thenormal colour of the skin. It is not at all infectious. You canallow your daughter to play with her without any fear of hercontracting the disease.

MY NEWBORN BABY WAS FIRST PASSING DARK GREEN STOOLS

that have later turned watery yellow. How does oneknow that the stools a newborn is passing are

normal? More than 95% of newborns have their first bowel

movement within the first 24 hours. If delayed for longerthan that, it needs to be investigated. The motion a babypasses initially is dark green and sticky. This is calledmeconium, the substance that was inside his intestines whenhe was in the uterus. From the 3rd – 5th day the stoolsbecome watery and greenish yellow. This is called transitionaldiarrhea and needs no treatment. Thereafter if the child is onformula feeds, the stools tend to be constipated. Those onmother’s milk usually pass ‘breast milk stools’ that areyellowish, curdy, loose and frequent - 6-10 stools a day, infact a bowel movement with every feed is normal.

IHAVE A SEVEN MONTHS OLD DAUGHTER. SHE HAS JUST ERUPTED

her first tooth. As a result she has become cranky andtries to put things in her mouth. I fear for her health as this

is unhygienic and may lead to infections. Please tell how todeal with a child’s teething.

The baby may experience some discomfort while teethingand becomes fretful. She dribbles, chews her fist and tries tobite on anything she lays her hands on. Try easing herdiscomfort by rubbing your little finger on her gums. Giveher something firm to chew on like a carrot or a cleanteething ring.

ILIKE TO WATCH MY SLEEPING BABY AND FEEL MATERNAL LOVE WELL

up inside me. Sometimes my baby stops breathing for a while which gets me worried. Should I take him to a

the doctor. The irregular breathing pattern too is normal for babies.

He may breathe rapidly after a bout of crying or when he isexcited or he may stop breathing for 5-10 seconds and thenstarts up on his own. This pattern of breathing usually occurs

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2 Woman’s Era ● January 2021 2

Challenges of E-Waste. BY Aditi Maheshwari

In today’s technology consumedworld, e-waste is a concept thatpeople need to be more aware

of. E-waste is an umbrella term usedto describe discarded electronicdevices whether its laptops, air-conditioners, refrigerators, mobiles,televisions, computers, VCRs,stereos, copiers, fax machines orany other digital device or electronicequipment. We have many showsdiscussing the pros and cons of thelatest gadgets being introduced, wehave a comparison of the old withnew electronic devices; yet there isscarcity of knowledge among thelayman, when it comes to theconcept of e-waste.

E-waste commonly assumed asdigital rubbish is not because theequipment’s stopped performingand therefore are being discarded,the technological advancements areleading people to change devicessimply because of upgradation intechnology leading the precursorsto be rendered outdated. Forexample: the concept of “smarthomes” is encouraging choiceswhere people are vowed to morecomfortable living by use ofadvanced technology whichprovides many services just by theclick of a tab; like the security of thehouse is in-tacked, switching lights,air-conditioners, etc. and such other

luring offers, but has anyoneconsidered the after effects ofexcessive dependency ondigitalization and obsession withupgradation of technology in dailyactivities.

The rapid ascension of e-waste isa global concern. Most electronicscontain high quantity of lead,mercury, cadmium, barium andbromine, etc. which are toxic to theenvironment when buried; asleaching process damages the soil,the ground water and thus thenearby fresh water bodies areinfected too. The result iscontamination of crops, livestockand wildlife of the surrounding area.

E-WasteManagement in India

The crops soak up traces of e-waste during the developing stagesand after harvest when wepurchase and consume such crops,we unknowingly consume thesetoxins. Bioaccumulation of suchtoxins can lead to long-term brainand nerve damage. Also, inhalationof these toxic fumes from theiraccumulation in soil, air, food notonly has negative implications onpeople and land animals but seaanimals also get infected because ofthem.

Well, e-waste pollution can becontrolled; if we collectivelyimplement methodical measures tosafeguard our environment from e-waste.

Some of the measures areshared below:

Produce less e-waste: Don’t justjump into the lure of new products.The cost of achieving something isnot always in monetary terms.Disturbing the ecosystem will takeaway more from us than what werealize.

Reuse: Instead of discarding theold, consider donating them,regifting them or selling them forfurther use by someone else.

Repair: Instead of purchasing anew product, prefer to get the oldone repaired. It’s not always costlyor impractical. Don’t let theslightest inconvenience prompt youto encourage e-waste.

Proper Collection and Recyclingof e-waste: Recycling e-waste is theultimate option; just make sure youexecute it the right way. Recycledmetals are more energy efficient.Example: Valuable metals like silver,copper, tin, gold, etc. can beextracted from the circuit boards.Thus, end-of-life handling measuresplay a vital role in e-waste effect. Inorder to develop a circulareconomy, where resources aresaved and fed back into the supplychain for reuse it’s essential to beresponsible in the process of notjust collecting e-waste but also

ensuring it reaches the correctauthority liable for recycling ordismantling the e-waste.

Life and ecosystemThe technology innovators will

continue to expand and create userfriendly electric devices designed tomake our lives easier in everyconceivable way but beingsusceptible to quickly pitching themachines we already have can costheavily on our environmentaldegradation. We as individuals areresponsible and thus need to makesure we don’t just keep passing thee-waste liability on the governmentand instead are responsibleourselves. Dizzying speed oftechnological advances has no end;it’s a continuous learning andupgrading activity. However,environmental protection should beour priority. We have alreadyexhausted substantial amount ofnatural resources and can’t afford

to waste anymore. Life andecosystem will sustain on naturalresources and not technology, thusbeing responsible is a greatcontribution especially as seniors tothe future generation. It’s our dutyto not convert a blessing into acurse, by recklessly using it.

E-waste scenario in IndiaE-waste is not sufficiently

collected and processed in Indiabecause of the prevalent patternsof illegally recycling the e-wastealong with other wastes by informalwaste pickers called kabadiwalas orraddiwalas. This reduces thepotential capacity to extract metalsfrom e-waste and also enhancesrelease of toxic pollutants leadingto irreversible consequences.Enforcinge-waste legislationremains a challenge because ofunawareness among peopleregarding the consequences of suchignorance. Not only recyclingindustry needs to be established butimplementation regardingcollection, disposal and compliancedeficits requires attention. There isa great capacity of job generation inthis recycling industry but safety ofworkers needs to be prioritizedbefore-hand. We also need toinvest in technology that are cuttingedge and can prove beneficial tothe e-waste recycling industry,which not only safeguards theworkers safety but at the same timeenforces an efficient system ofcollection and disposal of e-waste.The current regulatory frameworkneeds to integrate the informalsector into the overall system andeducational programs should beorganized to spread awarenessamong people. We

VALUABLE METALS LIKESILVER, COPPER, TIN,GOLD, ETC. CAN BEEXTRACTED FROM THECIRCUIT BOARDS. THUS,END-OF-LIFE HANDLINGMEASURES PLAY AVITAL ROLE IN E-WASTEEFFECT.

Iam a survivor of child loss. Asubject that is very difficult totalk about, but talk we must. It’s

ironic that while on one handbecause of the fact that statisticallyone in every four pregnancies endin loss, and thus we have atendency to normalize miscarriagewhenever the issue is broachedupon, on the other hand, there is anunsaid taboo on discussing thesame. Before I had to sufferthrough this personally, I had hardlycome across a conversationdiscussing this and thus could nothave envisioned it in even mywildest dreams, and yet when I diddiscuss it myself, to my surprisemany females I knew had borne thispain and suffering bravely at somepoint of time in their lives. Thisarticle is just an effort to highlightwhy is a dialogue on miscarriageimportant, and why we should notbe doomed to grieve in silencewhen we could all do so openly andcollectively, sharing the pain andremembering our lost angels,irrespective of the whether we arenow blessed with our rainbowbabies or not.

I am that One in Four: Letʼs Talk about Miscarriage.By Rachna Chhokar

Miscarriage And Loss

We have a term for a child thatloses his/ her parents, called anorphan. We have a term for aperson losing its spouse, a widow.But what do we call a person whohas lost its child, born or unborn.Why is the English or Hindi languageso rich and versatile on covering allmodes of expression fail incapturing this grief. Isn’t it peculiar?Even the term we use to depict thesad incident- miscarriage, I have astrong reservation against theusage of this term as if implying thatour bodies are defective pieces ofequipment that have malfunctionedand thus miscarried. The word onlyconcretizes the guilt trip that weeach force upon ourselvessubconsciously, working out thenumerous permutations andcombinations of behavior andlifestyle patterns that could havehelped prevent the loss. As if we arenot punishing ourselves enough.Post my miscarriage, I came intouch with many women in asupport group who had practicallystarted hating their bodies that theybelieved had failed them. Theyshared stories of the scars that theirmiscarriage left on thempsychologically, the trauma thatthey would go through with theirsubsequent pregnancies afraid witheach ultrasound that they would besaid the same dreaded four wordsby the doctor -“There is noheartbeat.”

TOXIC NATIONS OFSOCIETY

There is so much grief and painall bottled up in each of the womenwho go through miscarriage (thisword now being used onlysemantically for absence of analternative). We are no doubtthankful for the support we areoffered, but all the words ofconsolation- “it was only 15 weeks”“it was Gods will and you can’t fightit” “atleast you can still getpregnant” etc etc, just fall on ourdeaf ears, as our hearts are stillcaught up in the turmoil of the painand the loss. Each mother’s day is a

challenge as we question our fluididentity as a mother- are we still tobe termed a mother or are we not?This situation worsens in the case ofthe grieving male partners. Theexpectations imposed by the toxicnotions of social masculinity like“mard ko dard nahi hota” ends upmaking the journey of loss and griefeven more trumulous for thehusbands who may not themselveshave been physically carrying thechild yet were equal partners in thisdreamy journey of the nine months,bitterly shattered by the crudereality of child loss.

It’s thus important thatmiscarriage is talked about. Butnow the pertinent question is why ismiscarriage a taboo and a hushhush topic? It is perhaps a part ofthe wider trend in our society

where women’s issues havenormally taken a back seat. Orperhaps it’s an extension of theunsaid taboo on discussing thematters of the female bodilyfunctions termed as impure likemenstruation or child birth. Thenotions of impurity havetraditionally been linked with allthree - child birth, menstruation anddeath in a family where the entirefamily observes a period ofpurification as no food to offered toa deity for ten days after child birth(sutak period) or death in a family.The long list of prohibitions onmenstruating women in traditionalhouseholds is only well known. Inthis situation child loss is aconfluence of all three- child birth,loss of blood and death in a family,and hence a taboo.

But now it’s time that the taboois broken and this topic is discussedwidely, as it is more than a meretopic, these are tales of survivalwhich are inspirational and shouldbe thus shared.

The trauma of child loss shouldbe recognized and professional helpby the couple should be sought toovercome it. True the grief cannever completely subside. Timedoes not heal such pain borne outof child loss, but acts as atemporary opiate to help us survivethrough the days even as theanniversaries of the due date jerksus back into the reality. But livingthrough this grief and recognizing itis important, as this journeytravelled together by the couplealso makes their bond stronger inthe long run.

THE NOTIONS OFIMPURITY HAVETRADITIONALLY BEENLINKED WITH ALLTHREE - CHILD BIRTH,MENSTRUATION ANDDEATH IN A FAMILYWHERE THE ENTIREFAMILY OBSERVES APERIOD OFPURIFICATION AS NOFOOD TO OFFERED TO ADEITY FOR TEN DAYSAFTER CHILD BIRTH(SUTAK PERIOD) ORDEATH IN A FAMILY.

We


Understanding positive reasoning and self-talk. By Nidhi Jain

Positive reasoning doesn'timply that you keep yourhead in the sand and overlook

life's less charming circumstances.Positive reasoning just implies thatyou approach disagreeableness inan increasingly positive andbeneficial manner. You think thebest will occur, not the mostexceedingly awful.

Positive reasoning regularlybegins with self-talk. Self-talk is theperpetual stream of implicitcontemplations that go throughyour mind. These programmedconsiderations can be certain ornegative. A portion of your self-talkoriginates from rationale andreason. Other self-talk may emergefrom misguided judgments thatyou make due to absence of data.

In the event that the musingsthat go through your mind are forthe most part negative, your pointof view is almost certain critical. Inthe event that your contemplationsare for the most part positive,you're likely a hopeful person —somebody who rehearsesconstructive reasoning.

How PositivityMakes You Healthy

Analysts keep on investigatingthe impacts of positivethinking and good faith onwellbeing.● Expanded life expectancy ● Lower paces of misery and pain● More prominent protection from

the basic virus ● Better mental and physical

prosperity ● Better cardiovascular wellbeing

and decreased danger of deathfrom cardiovascular illness

● Better adapting abilities duringdifficulties and times of pressure

Not certain if your self-talk issure or negative? Some basictypes of negative self-talkinclude: Separating

You amplify the negative parts ofa circumstance and channel out theentirety of the positive ones. Forinstance, you had an incredible dayat work. You finished yourundertakings early and werepraised for doing an expedient andintensive activity. That night, youcenter just on your arrangement todo much more assignments anddisregard the commendations yougot.

CustomizingWhen something terrible

happens, you naturally accuseyourself. For instance, you listen tothat a night with companions isdropped, and you expect that theadjustment in plans is on thegrounds that nobody needed toassociate with you.

CatastrophizingYou naturally envision the most

noticeably awful. The drive-throughbistro gets your request wrong andyou consequently imagine that theremainder of your day will be acalamity.

PolarizingYou see things just as either

fortunate or unfortunate. There isno center ground. You feel thatyou must be great or you're anabsolute disappointment.

Concentrating on positivereasoning

You can figure out how totransform negative intuition intopositive thinking. The procedure isbasic, yet it requires some seriousenergy and practice — you'remaking another propensity, allthings considered. Here are a fewdifferent ways to think and carry onin a progressively positive andhopeful manner:

Recognize zones to changeIn case that you need to turn out

to be progressively idealistic andparticipate in increasingly positivethinking, first distinguish aspects ofyour life that you as a rule ponder,

regardless of whether it's work,your day by day drive or arelationship. You can begin little byconcentrating on one zone toapproach in a progressively positivemanner.

Check yourselfOccasionally during the day, stop

and assess what you're thinking. Onthe off chance that you find thatyour considerations are principallynegative, attempt to figure out howto put a positive turn on them.

Be available to humorAllow you to grin or snicker,

particularly during troublesomeoccasions. Look for humor inordinary happenings. At the pointwhen you can chuckle at life, youfeel less focused.

Follow a sound way of lifePlan to practice for around 30

minutes on most days of the week.You can likewise split it up into 10-minute pieces of time during theday. Exercise can decidedlyinfluence state of mind and lessenpressure. Follow a solid eatingroutine to fuel your brain and body.Also, learn strategies to overseepressure.

Encircle yourself withconstructive individuals

Ensure those in your life are sure,strong individuals you can rely uponto offer supportive guidance andinput. Antagonistic individuals mayexpand your feeling of anxiety andmake you question your capacity tooversee worry in sound manners.

Practice positive self-talkStart by observing one

straightforward guideline: Don'tutter a word to yourself that youwouldn't state to any other person.Be delicate and empowering with

yourself. On the off chance thata negative idea enters yourbrain, assess it objectively andreact with confirmations of

what is acceptable about you.Consider things you're gratefulfor in your life.

OCCASIONALLYDURING THE DAY, STOPAND ASSESS WHATYOU'RE THINKING. ONTHE OFF CHANCE THATYOU FIND THAT YOURCONSIDERATIONS AREPRINCIPALLYNEGATIVE, ATTEMPT TOFIGURE OUT HOW TOPUT A POSITIVE TURNON THEM.

We


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CLASSIFIEDS

ADVICEREADERS are advised to makeappro p riate and thorough enquiriesbefore acting upon any advertise -ment. This magazine does not vouchfor sub scribe to claim any represen -tation made by the adver tiserregarding the particulars of status ofwhat is offered.

One Fine DayMy husband and I are running a

rubber chemicals business inChennai. Our business involvesbuying and selling rubberchemicals and collection of dues oncredit. As we had observed goodbusiness picking up at Kerala, wehad appointed a person at Kochi tomanage the business. He was

selected through a known friend ofmine and was trained by myhusband to look after the affairs ofthe business. For about a year, theKochi Branch Incharge workedmeticulously, and collected thedues regularly, deposited theproceeds in our accounts, andappeared to be reliable.

Casually my husband used tocontact all our clients in Tamil Naduand Kerala to stay in touch and becourteous. At that time one of theKochi clients had asked myhusband “Sir was there anyproblem with your businessrecently, as your Kochi BranchIncharge had taken Rs. 50,000 incash from us stating that there wassome immediate financial crunch inyour business.” To our surprise, wetried contacting our Kochi BranchIncharge. But how many overtimeswe called him his phone numberwas not in use/not reachable. Thenmy husband went in person toKochi and tried to locate him all invain. We were shocked but thiswas a lesson for us. Currently, we

have strictly instructed all ourclients to make payments throughNEFT to our company’s accountand never make any cash paymentsunder any circumstances.

– R. Sakunthala

If you have, at antime, been taken in bya smooth-talking tricksteror a clever impostor, share yourexperience with our readers.Contributions should be about 500words typed or neatly written onone side of the paper only. `200will be paid for each acceptedand published reminiscence. Sendit to:

HOW I WAS DUPED

E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.Womansera.com

Name:

Mobile:

E-mail:


AS YOU SAY

E-3 Jhandewala Estate,New Delhi-110055.Womansera.com

Name:

Mobile:

E-mail:

invites readers’ opinions andreactions onarticles, short storiesand features publishedin Woman’s Era. The bestletter will be given a prize of `500. Address your letters byE-mail to: [email protected] by post to:

WOMAN'S ERA

"NARROWING DIFFERENCES"

" N a r r o w i n gDifferences" Shortstory, Dec' 20explains 'TrueFriendship' in a fewwords. With theadvancement intechnology - FB,Insta, & Twitterone can look out

for another by the touch of ourfingers ,which was a thing of the past,those days. "Staying connected''with old friends firstly by sending a'Friend request' after a wild search ,makes butterflies fly in our stomachuntil the request is accepted ,as if itdecides the future. Accepting andcontinuing the cordial friendshipbrings back heirlooms of memories,which every individual would love tocherish & look back.

– Preetha Rengaswamy, Chennai

DIVORCE: ENEMY OF HAPPY FAMILY

This is withreference to thearticle, Divorce:Enemy of HappyFamily byPrabhuling Dandin(WE, December2020). Actually, inWestern countriesthe candidates

decide their marriage themselvesand get out of it when it does notrun smoothly. In India, the parentsdecide their sons/daughters marriageas if the candidates are puppets!

Furthermore, in the West mostwomen are economicallyindependent and hence they can'ttolerate injustice and torture, so theyopt for divorce and easily remarry. In

contrast most Indian women arehousewives. They are not allowed toearn by their husbands and/or in-laws.

As a result, Indian women areforced to carry on the marriage inthe name of culture. They can'tdivorce their husbands because theyare not economically self dependent.So, if husbands divorce them theyneed compensation for livlihood.Their age for being employedexpires. Again remarrying is difficultbecause parents decides again thissecond marriage.

Conclusion: Unless both boys andgirls are made economically selfdependent, they can't divorce easilyor remarry. Here, parents of bothsides are the greatest hindrance!

Thanking you!– Suresh Prasad,

Champasari

THE INDIAN DAILY SOAPS

The article, TheIndian Daily Soaps, byEnakshi J, December2020,presents a truepicture of thepresent day serialsof the Indiantelevision. Theunrealistic content,too much violence

and family members plottingagainst one another is shown inthese serials. The storyline is toopoor, it can be well twisted andturned as per the popularity graphof a serial. You just cannot imaginewatching these daily soaps withfamily as the hatred among thefamily members leave a bad impacton the innocent minds of thechildren. They take to crimes afterwatching the violence on thetelevision. It is the need of the hourto show something that leaves somepositive message for the viewersapart from entertaining them. Timeis too precious and people now havelearned to spend it wisely. Story ofthe daily soaps should be akin toreality and it should refresh the tiredminds.

– Harinder Kaur, Jalandhar

Three years ago

Facebook

innocuously showed

a picture of Trupti Sharma

as ‘People You May Know’.

Tumbling out of bed at 5

a.m. Mamta gingerly held

the mobile with one hand

while rubbing her eyes

with the other. Was it the

leftovers of sleep or plain

disbelief?Best friend and now a

stranger. The miles of

physical distance were

greater or the passage of

filial love had widened who

could fathom.

With quivering fingers

Mamta pressed the ‘add

friend’ button. With a small

prayer she quietly put down

the phone lest she awaken

her husband who would

question why her early

morning sojourns with the

mobile were becoming so

frequent.The whole day was

spent in a flurry of chores

and conversations seemed

to dwell on the vortex of

only one thought. When

would it be morning in

America? Would Trupti

respond?Tiny smiles wandered

around Mamta’s lips as she

recalled those wonderful

sunshine years of growing

up together. Books,

Thanks to facebook . By Ritu Khurana

NarrowingDifferences

ShortStory

Best f r i end and now

a s t ranger . The

mi les o f phys ica l

d i s tance were

greater o r the

passage o f f i l i a l

l ove had w idened

who cou ld fa thom.

With qu i ve r ing

f ingers Mamta

pressed the ‘add

f r iend ’ but ton .

Mamta gingerly held the

mobile with one hand while

rubbing her eyes with the

other. Was it the leftovers of

sleep or plain disbelief?

India is a land of sanskar and

culture. It has a rich tradition of

more than 5000 years. It is also

known as Mahaguru of the world in

many aspects. It is a birthplace for

many things in the world, may it be

Arts, Science, Education, Maths,

Medicine, Yoga, and so on.

According to Veda and

Upanishadas, the life of a human

being is divided into 4 parts among

these; Grihasthasharam (Married

life) is very important and supreme

because this stage is responsible for

the growth and development of the

world. The Saints, Yogis, Mahatmas,

and even demons are the result of

this life. Marriage is not only a union

of two bodies but soul, also.

In general, Marriage is a state of

being united to a person of the

opposite sex as husband and a wife

in the consensual and contractual

relationship recognized by law.

When it comes to the Hindu

religion, marriage is termed as a

scared relationship. It joins two

individuals for life so that they can

pursue dharma i.e. satisfaction of

physical urge within the limits of

the rules of society. The institution

of marriage is a universal institution

that exists in every society.

However, types of marriage differ

from society to society. There are

four basic types of marriages like

Polygamy, Polyandry, Monogamy,

and Group marriage. The latest

edition of this is Gay Marriage

which is legal in most of the

countries in the world (as of early

Divorce: Enemy

Does Divorce destroy family life? By Prabhuling Dandin

The present age is the age of

technology. Within a span of a

few clicks, anything can go

viral and the whole world can get to

know about it. Do you remember

how Kokila Ben’s rap song went viral

suddenly? Ironically, the characters

were stalked more compared to

when their show was on-air. But the

0trend of daily soaps seems to be

lacking lustre now. Gone are the

times when substantial content was

telecast on the television.

Now, most families are

getting rid of their cable

connection because of the

loss/ degradation of content. If you

might argue saying that one can

hold on to the cable connection for

the sake of cartoon shows and

movies, I would counter by offering

you OTT subscriptions. Not only do

these streaming platforms provide

an embarrassment of riches but also

provide a high-quality viewing

experience. Plus, there is not

just one platform; there are

so many! Here are a few

points why the Indian

daily soaps are not the

first choice any

more:

The Indian

Daily SoapsWhy Indian Daily Soaps Have Had Their Chips.

By Enakshi J

The prize is awarded to:Harinder Kaur

The article,StopSpiraling NegativeThoughts byHimshikhaShukla,December2020, highlights thebad effects of the

anxiety along with thevaluable tips on managing thevicious cycle of negativethoughts.We all feel anxious atone time or the other but thepeople suffering from the anxietydisorder lead a miserable life.Theyconstantly live in some unknownfear and imagine it be real.Theirbest efforts to dispel thesenegative thoughts fail and theyalways feel some harm will bedone to them.This imaginary dreadalways keep them in stress andtheir mental peace is totallyruined.They must follow a fewguidelines to stop these stressfulthoughts.They can do excercise,listen to music,and get themselvesabsorbed in a creative work.Theycan visualise burning theirdepressing thoughts for ever.Theycan apply any therapy to get ridfrom the distressing thoughts butthey should never indulge in somefoolish ritual to stop these.

– Harinder Kaur, Jalandhar

STOP SPIRALING NEGATIVETHOUGHTS

Stop Spiraling

Negative Thoughts

Ways to stop an anxiety spiral. By Himshikha Shukla

Anxiety is a reaction designed

to protect you from threats.

It can make you more alert

and focused. But when you're

anxious, decisions will often be

limited to 'fight-flight-freeze'

reactions. Your vision narrows and

you lose access to the more creative

parts of your brain. In addition, your

breathing might become shallow.

Anxious moments happen to

everyone. But they don't have to

take over. Having strategies to calm

yourself down and re-center can

make all the difference, whether

you're dealing with an anxiety

disorder or an extra-stressful time in

life. The problem isn’t that

something made you feel bad for a

little bit of time, but that it isn’t

healthy to have it impact your entire

day, or have it cause a domino

effect of negative thoughts that

aren’t related at all.

When you catastrophize, you

actually do two things: first, you

predict the worst possible outcome;

second, you assume that if this

outcome transpires, you won’t be

able to cope and it will be an

absolute disaster. And, as anyone

who’s ever let a simple rejection

letter give way to thoughts about

not being good enough in general

knows, it’s easy to fall into this

spiral.

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