cy family mag #193

Starting July 6th, Catch the Country in the Country Radio Show, Sunday Evenings, 8 - 10 PMon Thunder 102.1 FM. For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010

SUMMER 2014 s"ga, ct-zun,

8



11

Hi Everybody,Ahh… the sunny, sultry days of

summer have finally arrived and afterthe frigid winter we endured it could-n’t come soon enough!

While you’re all packing to headupstate, we’re busy packing our sensa-tional summer issue with enoughgoodies to carry you through till Sep-tember!

Even though you’re probably liv-ing in a log cabin built when DavyCrockett and Daniel Boone were fight-ing Injuns in South Fallsburg, you stillcan spend some rainy Sunday after-noon fantasizing about your dreamhome in Brooklyn! That’s where ourSpotlight on “Designing your SmartHome” by Gigatech comes in. Afterreading this informative and fascinat-ing piece your home will probably endup being smarter than you are!

After Skolya Bungalows walkedaway with a cool $10,000 prize lastsummer from the Community MitzvahAward sponsored by Sullivan Renais-sance, the race is on once again thissummer. Ten camps and colonies willbe competing for big bucks and on Au-gust 6th I will be joining two otherjudges as we make the rounds of the fi-nal 5 to decide who wins.

Let’s show them our pride and ap-preciation, and also cause a great Kid-

dush Hashem, by keeping our campand bungalow colony grounds cleanand well groomed - and maybe I’ll behanding you a check for $10,000!

Elsewhere in this classic issueRabbi Moshe Meir Weiss corners oureternal nemesis, the wily Yeitzer HaRafor a one-on-one interview that touch-es on some pretty sensitive topics.You’ll be surprised and entertained atthe candid give-and-take!

Our Real Life section features “ABeautiful Jewish Story,” while ourSpecial Report analyzes “A ChasidicView of Parnasah!” When these twoheadlines meld together we have awonderful outlook on life!

There’s plenty of controversy aswell. In the YWN Coffee Room weeavesdrop on the opinionated chatterabout “Social Anxiety,” and followingthat Rabbi Avi Shafran takes a back-ward glance at “Retroactive Prophecy”- and he doesn’t like what he sees!

There’s plenty more, of course,but I gotta get home to load up the van!

Wishing you all a wonderful, hap-py, healthy, spiritually uplifting sum-mer.

Tune into Country in the Countryon Thunder 102 FM Sunday eves 8-10pm.

Your friend,

Country Yossi

Message From the Publisher

17

LET’S SHMOOZE ...................................................................................................................................................................................23

SPOTLIGHT

• 5 Need-to-Knows: Designing Your Smart Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

INSPIRATION.........................................................................................................................................................................................42

SPOTLIGHT

• Smiling Herbs, by Chaya Sara Schlusse; . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

OPINION

• For Shame, by Alan Dershowitz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

SOUND OFF

• Walking to the End, by Yaakov Rosenblatt. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

FUN PAGE................................................................................................................................................................................................56

TORAH

• An Interview with the Yeitzer HaRa about the Shidduch Crisis, by Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

• The Eyes Have It, by Rabbi Berel Wein. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

TIMELINE ................................................................................................................................................................................................64

REAL LIFE

• A Beautiful Jewish Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68

COVER STORY

• Tu B’Av in Amuka . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

SPECIAL REPORT

• A Chasidic View of Parnasah, by Rabbi Mordechai Zilber . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

HEALTH AND ADVICE

• Dr. D . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

• Dear Bubby. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84

• The Price of Inactivity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

CONTROVERSY

• Retroactive Prophecy, by Avi Shafran. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86

• YWN Coffee Room: Social Anxiety . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88

ISRAEL

• Who is The Jew? by Dov Shurin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

JEWISH BOOKS

• Top 10 in Jewish Books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

JEWISH MUSIC

• Top 3 in Jewish Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

• The “Z” Report . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

• CY Songbook: Big Bad Moish. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103

HUMOR

• The Stay Shun Wagon, by Chaptzem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

• Can’t You Just Plotz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107

• Going to the Country, by Kayla Kuchleffel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109

AROUND TOWN

• Sullivan Renaissance: Community Mitzvah Award . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66

• Photography Workshops by Devorie Zutler. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

72

86

Table of Contents

“New York’s Premier Jewish Magazine”ISSUE193

s"xc

“Going to shul doesn’t make you a mentsch any more than standing in a garage makes you a car!” – CY

Summer 2014 / s"ga, ct-zun, Volume 27 Number 3

website: www.countryyossi.com

COUNTRY YOSSI FAMILY MAGAZINE • 1310 48th Street, Suite 304 • Brooklyn, New York 11219

Telephone: (718) 851-2010 • Email Address: [email protected] © 2014 - Country Yossi Family Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved. Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions. Unsolicitedmanuscripts, photographs, and other submitted materials must be accompanied by a stamped self-addressed envelope. We reserve the right to print all letters inpart or in full unless specifically requested otherwise. No articles, photographs, artwork or other material in this magazine may be reproduced in any manner what-soever, without prior written permission of the publisher. Country Yossi Family Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors or advertisers’ claims.

Cover Design: R.A. Stone

46

60

Interior Layout: H. Walfish

Follow countryyossi on Twitter

23

FREE RIDE

Dear Country Yossi,Yossi Cohen just landed at

JFK from Israel. He asked a caddriver how much the cab is. Thedriver said, “$55.” Yossi asked,“And how much is it for the lug-gage?” The cabbie said that theluggage was free. Yossi said, “Sotake my luggage and I’ll go bysubway.”

L.W.Boro Park

Dear L.W.,Yossi told me the rest of

the story… he never sawhis luggage again!

Probably in Pakistanby now!

Don’t be an UberChacham!

CY

BURIAL OF A

MEAN GUY

Dear Country Yossi,A man and woman were

married for many years. Whenev-er there was a confrontation,yelling could be heard deep intothe night. The old man wouldshout, “When I die, I will dig myway up and out of the grave andcome back and haunt you for therest of your life!”

Neighbors feared him. Theold man liked the fact that he wasfeared. Then one evening, he diedwhen he was 98. After the burial,her neighbors, concerned for hersafety, asked, “Aren’t you afraidthat he may indeed be able to dighis way out of the grave and hauntyou for the rest of your life?”

guess it was because of my re-sponse to the question, “List alldependents:”

I replied, “12 million illegalimmigrants; 3 million crackheads; 42 million unemployedpeople on food stamps; 2 millionpeople in over 243 prisons; Halfof Mexico; and 535 persons in theU.S. House and Senate. Plus oneuseless President.”

Evidently, this was NOT anacceptable answer.

I keep asking myself, WHODID I MISS?

J.M.Flatbush

Dear J.M.,Your three sons-in-law?

CY

FUNNY

SHIDDUCH STORY

Dear Country Yossi,After spending a few

pleasant hours together at alounge on their first date,the boy announces, “I’mready whenever you are.”Panic-stricken, shereplies, “I’m really sor-ry, no way. I can’t be

rushed! I just won’t be able toget engaged till Chanukah.”

The guy, confused, says “Imeant, I’d like to know if you’reready to go home…”

K.C.Flatbush

Dear K.C.,Yep, you really gotta watch

what you say these days!I saw my friend Jack

Schwartz on my flight to Israel.

The wife said, “Let him dig. Ihad him buried upside down…and I know he won’t ask for direc-tions.”

H.F.Boro Park

Dear H.F.,Funny but in questionable

taste!You are banned from submit-

ting any more jokes for 90 days!CY

SENIOR TAX RETURNDear Country Yossi,

I just received an audit on mytax return for 2012 back from theIRS.

It puzzles me!!They are questioning how

many dependents I claimed. I



24

I yelled out, “Hi Jack!”I should be getting out in about 15

years (with good behavior)!CY

GEMARA KUP

Dear Country Yossi,I doubt you heard this one!A priest, a minister and a Rabbi

are walking together through the forest(at an inter-denominational retreat)when they suddenly stumble upon agolden lamp half buried in the sand.

The priest picks it up, rubs it, andout pops a real live genie. “In returnfor freeing me,” says the genie, “I willgrant each of you one wish!”

“I want a million more wishes,”the priest says immediately.

“Oh, there’s one rule: No askingfor more wishes.”

The priest pauses for a momentand replies, “In that case, I want a mil-lion dollars.”

“Done!” says the genie, and alarge, silver suitcase filled with $100dollar bills magically appears at hisfeet!

“And what is your wish?” asks thegenie, turning to the minister.

“I want to live forever,” he replies.“Done,” says the genie, “go in

peace!”The genie then turns to the Rabbi.“And what is your wish?” he asks.The Rabbi strokes his beard and

says, “I want a million genies!”Y.B.

Flatbush

THE BOY I WANT TO MARRY

Dear Country Yossi,I want a boy who is LEARNING.Learning from his mistakes…Learning from the mistakes of

others…Learning how to give without ex-

pecting anything in return…Learning how to forgive others for

their shortcomings…Learning how to find true emes in

a world brimming with sheker…Learning how to take no for an an-

swer…Learning how to accept the will of

Hashem when life gets stormy…Learning how to utilize the tools



25

Hashem gave him to become a bettereved Hashem…

Learning how to find good in thefrustrating nuances that happenthroughout his day…

Learning how to grow and be-come A BETTER HIM.

I want a boy who is WORKING.Working towards a greater goal…Working on his middos a little bit

more each day…Working on strengthening his re-

lationships with his Rebbeim…Working on improving his rela-

tionships with his family and friends…Working on deepening his con-

nection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu…Working on giving life all he’s

got…Working on thanking Hashem for

all the little things in life…Working on finding hashgachas

Hashem in everything that happens tohim…

Working to overcome his naturalnegative tendencies…

Working on bringing Mashiach alittle bit closer every day…

Working on growing and becom-

ing A BETTER HIM.THAT is the person I want to mar-

ry.Just learning? Only working?!

Forget that idea! I want BOTH.S.T.

Flatbush

IT’S DEFINITELY WARMER

Dear Country Yossi,I am surprised that someone as in-

telligent as Rabbi Berel Wein couldwrite, “There is no data confirmingthat we are actually warmer than wewere decades ago,” in his May 2014article “Changeable Weather.” Actual-ly, every decade since the 1970s hasbeen warmer than the previous decadeand the 14 warmest years since tem-perature records have been kept in1880 have been since 1998. Signifi-cantly, on Shavuos, the day I read Rab-bi Wein’s article, the temperature inTel Aviv reached 104 degrees Fahren-heit.

There is an overwhelming con-sensus, involving scientific academiesworldwide, 97% of climate scientists,

and 99.9% of peer reviewed articles onthe issue in respected scientific jour-nals, that climate change is real, large-ly caused by human actions, and agreat threat to humanity and all life onEarth. Atmospheric carbon dioxide hasreached 400 parts per million (ppm),far above the 350 ppm that climate ex-perts think is a safe threshold, for thefirst time in human history, and it isgrowing by 2 ppm per year. Glaciersworldwide and polar icecaps are melt-ing rapidly and there has been a recentincrease in the number and severity ofheat waves, droughts, wildfires,storms, and floods.

It is essential that the Jewish com-munity play a major role in efforts toavert a climate catastrophe and otherenvironmental disasters, and help shiftour imperiled planet onto a sustainablepath.

Very truly yours,Richard H. Schwartz, Ph.D.Professor Emeritus, College of

Staten IslandAuthor of ‘Judaism and Vegetari-

anism,’ ‘Judaism and Global Survival,’‘Mathematics and Global Survival,’



26

and ‘Who Stole My Religion? Revital-izing Judaism and Applying JewishValues to Help Heal Our ImperiledPlanet,’ and 200 articles at Jew-ishVeg.com/schwartz

President Emeritus, Jewish Vege-tarians of North America (www.Jew-ishVeg.com); President, Society OfEthical and Religious Vegetarians(SERV)

Associate producer of A SACREDDUTY (www.aSacredDuty.com);

“Like” JVNA on Facebook atwww.facebook.com/JewishVeg

Dear Ph.D,How come your credits are longer

than your letter?CY

THE FREEDOM OF OLD AGE

Dear Country Yossi,Good friends are like quilts. They

age with you, yet never lose theirwarmth.

I have seen too many dear friendsleave this world, too soon; before theyunderstood the great freedom thatcomes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose toread, or play on the computer until 4AM, or sleep until noon? I will dancewith myself to those wonderful tunesof the 50s, 60s & 70s, and if I, at thesame time, wish to weep over a lostlove, I will.

I will walk the beach, and dive in-to the waves with abandon if I chooseto, despite the pitying glances from thejet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.But then again, some of life is just aswell forgotten. And, eventually, I re-member the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart hasbeen broken. How can your heart notbreak when you lose a loved one, orwhen a child suffers, or even whensomebody’s beloved pet gets hit by acar? But broken hearts are what give usstrength, and understanding, and com-passion. A heart that’s never been bro-ken is pristine, and sterile, and willnever know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived longenough to have my hair turning gray,and to have my youthful laughs be for-ever etched into deep grooves on my



27

face. So many have never laughed, andso many have died before their haircould turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to bepositive. You care less about what oth-er people think. I don’t question my-self anymore. I’ve even earned theright to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I likebeing old. It has set me free. I like theperson I have become. I am not goingto live forever, but while I am stillhere, I will not waste time lamentingwhat could have been, or worryingabout what will be. And I shall eatdessert every single day (if I feel likeit).

May our friendship never comeapart, especially when it’s straightfrom the heart!

P.G.Boro Park

Dear P.G.Great letter!Yea, I also love aging.Aging is contagious. You get it

from birthday candles!My last birthday party was can-

celled on account of rain. The candleson my cake set off the sprinkler system!

Yea, birthdays are nice, but toomany of them will kill you!

There is not a thing I could do at18 that I can’t do now, and that givesyou an idea how pathetic I was at 18!

A vacationing senior friend sentme a postcard, “Wish you were here.Where am I?!”

CY

SOMEWHERE

OVER THE RAINBOW

Dear Country Yossi,At the 2014 Oscars, they celebrat-

ed the 75th anniversary of the releaseof the “Wizard of Oz” by having Pinksing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,”with highlights from the film in thebackground. But what few people real-ized, while listening to that incredibleperformer singing that unforgettablesong, is that the music is deeply em-bedded in the Jewish experience.

It is no accident, for example, thatthe greatest Xmas songs of all timewere written by Jews. For example,



28

“Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer”was written by Johnny Marks and“White Xmas” was penned by a Jew-ish liturgical singer’s (cantor) son, Irv-ing Berlin.

But perhaps the most poignantsong emerging out of the mass exodusfrom Europe was “Somewhere Overthe Rainbow.” The lyrics were writtenby Yip Harburg.

He was the youngest of four chil-dren born to Russian Jewish immi-grants. His real name was IsidoreHochberg and he grew up in a Yiddish

speaking, Orthodox Jewish home inNew York. The music was written byHarold Arlen, a cantor’s son. His realname was Hyman Arluck and his par-ents were from Lithuania. Together,Hochberg and Arluck wrote “Some-where Over the Rainbow,” which wasvoted the 20th century’s number onesong by the Recording Industry Asso-ciation of America (RIAA) and theNational Endowment for the Arts(NEA).

In writing it, the two men reacheddeep into their immigrant Jewish con-

sciousness - framed by the pogroms ofthe past and the Holocaust about tohappen - and wrote an unforgettablemelody set to near prophetic words.Read the lyrics in their Jewish contextand suddenly the words are no longerabout wizards and Oz, but about Jew-ish survival:

Somewhere over the rainbow wayup high, there’s a land that I heard ofonce in a lullaby. Somewhere over therainbow skies are blue, and the dreamsthat you dare to dream really do cometrue. Someday I’ll wish upon a star andwake up where the clouds are far be-hind me. Where troubles melt likelemon drops away above the chimneytops. That’s where you’ll find me.Somewhere over the rainbow, blue-birds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow.Why then, oh why can’t I? If happy lit-tle bluebirds fly beyond the rainbowwhy, oh why can’t I?

The Jews of Europe could not fly.They could not escape beyond therainbow. Harburg was almost prescientwhen he talked about wanting to flylike a bluebird away from the “chim-ney tops.” In the post-Auschwitz era,chimney tops have taken on a wholedifferent meaning than the one theyhad at the beginning of 1939.

Pink’s mom is Judith Kugel. She’sJewish of Lithuanian background. AsPink was belting the Harburg/Arlensong from the stage at the AcademyAwards, I wasn’t thinking about themovie. I was thinking about Europe’slost Jews and the immigrants to Amer-ica.

I was then struck by the irony thatfor two thousand years the land thatthe Jews heard of “once in a lullaby”was not America, but Israel. The re-markable thing would be that less thanten years after “Somewhere Over theRainbow” was first published, the ex-ile was over and the State of Israel wasreborn. Perhaps the “dreams that youdare to dream really do come true.”

Received via email

THE TRUTH ABOUT

HIS GRANDFATHER’S

“STRIPED PAJAMAS”Dear Country Yossi,

Even though he was Jewish, a



29

grown man in his early 20s, and had ofcourse heard about the Holocaust,Yehuda* had never really learnedabout it. In some parts of the Charedi(ultra-Orthodox) world, they simplydon’t teach about it at school. And itwas never mentioned in his home, per-haps because the subject was too closeto home. But Yehuda was in Israel forthe first time, and while he was therehe did some sightseeing, including atrip to Yad VaShem (the Israel Holo-caust Museum).

Yehuda was overwhelmed withgrief as he walked from one exhibit tothe next and discovered the atrocitiesthat had been committed against hispeople. The devastation was all new tohim save for one thing. In image afterimage Yehuda saw something haunt-ingly familiar: his zeide’s “striped pa-jamas.” Most other concentrationcamp prisoners, upon being liberated,had burned, discarded, or thrown outtheir uniforms. But not his grandfather.No, Yehuda’s grandfather’s “stripedpajamas” had hung in his bedroomcloset for as long as this young mancould remember.

As a child, when he first noticedthese tattered “pajamas,” Yehuda hadasked his zeide about them. With a tearin his eye, Yehuda’s zeide explainedthat he was planning on being buriedin them. Yehuda had never understoodwhy his grandfather would say such athing, since Jewish law requires a mes(dead person) to be buried intachrichim (shrouds), but Yehuda did-n’t want to be disrespectful, so he nev-er pushed the matter.

But suddenly, standing in themiddle of this museum, it finally madesense. His grandfather had explainedthat he had stayed religious after thewar, but was not a perfect man. “ButI’m planning on being buried inthese,” he explained to his younggrandson on that fateful day, “becausewhen the Almighty sees them on me,I’ll be ushered straight into Gan Eden(heaven).”

May the memory of all those whoperished in the Holocaust be for ablessing.

*Name changed. I heard this sto-ry directly from one of Yehuda’s rela-tives.

Received via email



35



36

Imagine waking up in the morn-ing, not to the glaring blare of analarm clock, but to your favoritesong streaming through speakersin the ceiling, as your blinds

slowly open to reveal the morning sun.Touch one button by your bed and thelights in the hallway turn on so you cansafely navigate to the kitchen wherethe coffee machine is already brewingyour favorite cup of coffee.

As you race out the door for work,smile as everything powers down - thelights, the audio - even the thermostatdials back to a more energy-efficientsetting. The alarm arms, the garagedoor closes and every door in thehouse gets locked. Automatically.

It might sound like the ultimate inluxury, but really, having a home au-tomation system today is a very af-fordable reality. Plus, not only does itmake life a little easier, it can also helpyou monitor every system in yourhouse, ensuring maximum comfortwith minimum effort.

How’s this possible? Imagine asophisticated, but ridiculously easy-to-use universal remote that controls allof your home’s otherwise disconnect-ed electronic systems and devices.With this one mighty remote, you cancontrol everything from entertainmentsystems to heating and air condition-ing, lights, shades, garage doors, secu-rity systems, door locks, and so on.

Better still, this one remote comesin many different forms: the tradition-al wand that you’re used to wielding inthe family room but also, you can con-trol everything in the house from virtu-ally every screen in the house - yoursmartphone, a tablet, a touch screen,

even your laptop. Or keypads that eas-ily replace existing light switches. Andonce you’ve got your house “undercontrol,” there’s no going back. Butbefore you take the plunge, here are afew need-to-knows that will come inhandy as you journey to the “otherside.”

1. You’ll need the help of a profes-sional - and that’s a good thing.

While home automation solutionsare easy for everyone in your house touse, your system will be a complex de-sign, linking multiple devices in yourhome to make it possible for them tocommunicate with each other. Natural-ly, this is the kind of work that requiresa professional. This professional iscalled a dealer. Certified after rigoroustraining, your dealer is equipped towork closely with you, from the plan-ning and installing of your system toteaching everyone in the house how touse it, to giving ongoing support,maintenance and upgrades after thesystem is up and running. It’s possiblethat you will work together for years tocome. If you don’t yet have a dealer,do a google search and find a few localoptions. Visiting or talking to a localprofessional smart home dealer is agreat start. That’s how you can learnmore about the specific systems avail-able and discuss what might be possi-ble to achieve, given your specifichome. Ask anything and everythingabout home control. Take advantage ofyour time with an expert.

2. You’ll want to get specific aboutwhat you think you want to control.

“Think” is the operative word, be-

cause once you share some ideas withyour dealer, your wish list may ex-pand, change, or get increasingly per-sonalized. You’ll probably be surprisedto hear that your control system can doall the magnificent little things it cando. One way to approach this is to askyourself what sort of automated solu-tions would make your life easier orhelp you worry less in your everydayactivities. Do you want all of the lightsin your house to go off when you leavefor work? No problem. While you’re atwork, do you worry about when yourkids get home from school? We caneliminate that concern by making sureyou get a text message the instant theywalk through the door. Want the lightsto turn on and off at certain times, so itlooks like you’re home, even whenyou’re not? With an integrated system,it’s easy to automate (or randomize)any event, day or night, and evenswitch it up depending on the seasons.And remember, you can automate yourswimming pool or spa, outside lights,electronic gate, sprinkling system,garage door opener, inside lights, mu-sic, movies, TV, heating, windowshades and drapes, security system, in-terior and exterior door locks, IP cam-eras, and whew! You see where we’regoing here?

3. You don’t need to compromise onyour interior design.

While home automation systemsutilize sophisticated technologies,most people don’t want them to be thestand-out feature in a room. We don’tgenerally want the home technology tooverwhelm the home’s aesthetic.Overall, the effect on aesthetics should

S P O T L I G H T



37

be minimal. Today’s systems, withtheir variety of available control inter-faces, have become increasingly dis-creet. In many cases, there is no effectat all, since an existing device you al-ready carry around with you, like asmartphone or tablet, can manage yoursystem. In addition, wall-based panelsand switches generally are available tomatch any dé cor and do not take upany more space than a traditional lightswitch would. It’s also common forprofessional home automationproviders to work closely with interiordesigners and architects to coordinatethe style of your living space with anycontrols that may be required.

4. You can expect some wonderful un-expected benefits.

As soon as your new home au-tomation system is in place, you mightnotice there are opportunities to reduceyour energy usage and hey - maybesave some money. Here are just a fewpossibilities. Your dealer can give youother suggestions, too.

All Off. No longer will you leavea light on, a curling iron heating up, orthe music playing as you leave thehouse for work, vacation, or to run afew errands. An “All Off” command,which can be issued from a keypad,touch screen, tablet or your smart-phone can tell an automation system tosweep through the house to turn offand adjust devices as needed. The clos-ing of the front door, the arming of asecurity system or a signal from adriveway sensor can also be pro-grammed to trigger the house-wide“All Off” command.

Curtain Call. Sunlight can quick-ly heat up a room, causing your ACsystem to go into overdrive. Motorizedshades, when automated, can close atcertain times of the day or when a sen-sor notices a heavy amount of sun-shine. And even adjust the lights up, sothe room won’t become dark suddenly.

Control everywhere. An app onyour smartphone enables you to con-nect to your control system from virtu-ally anywhere in the world. Using3G/4G cellular service or a remoteWiFi connection, you can controllights, adjust the temperature, viewcameras and more, whether you are athome or on the go.

5. Definitely dream big. And start small.Many homeowners probably nev-

er give any serious thought to automat-ing their homes because they think it’scost-prohibitive. But the truth is thathome automation is far more afford-able than most people think. A profes-sional home automation dealer has thepossibility to design a home automa-tion system to match your budget, bigor small, right out of the gate. You canstart with a very basic system - just au-tomating a family room, for example -and add more control down the road astime or budgets allow. No matter whatkind of money you plan to spend, tryto brainstorm all of your ideas upfront,and just like you would approach abuilding or remodeling project, devel-op a priority list. When you’re ready toshare it with your dealer, he or she canhelp you develop a plan, timeline, anda budget to build your dream systemover time. Even if it turns out that youhave to wait to implement a few ofyour favorite ideas, you will have asolid foundation of a smart home thatcan easily get smarter and smarter overtime.

Where Do You Start?Now that you’re interested and

thinking about the possibilities, wheredo you begin? Think about the tasksyou do around your house every day -managing your lights and thermostats,enjoying music and video, keepingtrack of your family, locking differentrooms based on who is in the house,entertaining indoors and out - andimagine which tasks might be mademore efficient with the help of a homeautomation system. Also think abouthow you would like to connect to thesystem: Are you a smartphone or tabletjunkie, or would you prefer to use anin-wall keypad or dedicated touch pan-el that’s in the same place every timeyou need it?

Keep in mind that having a homeautomation system can be a little ad-dictive. Once you get used to havingit, you may wonder how you livedwithout it. Most people who beginwith basic functionality end up ex-panding into more rooms or morefunctions, but hey, that’s the beauty ofhome automation. It’s there to makeyour life easier. .



I believe that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while, and you

must forgive them for that.

I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

I believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I believe that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of

the consequences.

I believe that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time!

I believe that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you

get back up.

I believe that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right

to be cruel.

I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve

learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I believe that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive your-

self.I believe that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsi-

ble for who we become.

I believe that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because

they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I believe that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I believe that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will

find the strength to help.

I believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe that the people you care about most in life are the essence of life.

I Believe

Inspiration

42



44

It’s 2:20am. Two weeks ago at thistime, I was pacing the floor of myliving room, wearing my rug thread-bare as I trudged back and forthwith my eyes drooping in sleep-dep-

rivation. In my arms was my chronicallyscreaming infant daughter. I patted her,sang to her and begged her to calm down.She just continued howling. It was almost4am by the time we both finally suc-cumbed to an exhausted sleep. That wasthe routine I had been blindly following formore than two months, despairing of everfinding rest, and giving up on the hope of ahappy, content baby. I lovingly nursed her,but it was a monumental sacrifice for me,rather than a relaxing exchange betweenmother and child. I was never sure if shehad eaten enough, as she never seemed sat-isfied. Both my daughter and I were miser-able - which is why I will be forever grate-ful to the friend who finally introduced meto an incredible product called Easy-Flow.

I’m sure my story will sound familiarto many. After my first 2-week stint of in-somnia, I seriously contemplated switchingfrom nursing to formula. It just wasn’tworking out, and I was ready to quit. Butonce I learned about the many benefits ofmother’s milk, bottle feeding became a farless optimal option for me. Aside from theincomparable bonding experience it cre-ates, breastfeeding stimulates the immunesystem, protecting against invasive dis-eases, viruses and cancers - even loweringthe risk of Leukemia by 30%. Additionally,nursing has been scientifically proven as anIQ-booster, providing proper nourishmentfor the brain in its earliest stages. It pre-vents obesity and eating disorders later onin the baby’s life and significantly lowersbaby’s risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant DeathSyndrome). With all its natural benefits,nursing was inarguably the superior feed-ing alternative. So instead of jumping ship,

I set out to find a way, if at all possible, tocontinue nursing without the crankiness.

I began asking people for advice andsoon found that many women shared simi-lar circumstances to mine. Some com-plained about colic and gassiness in theirinfants. Others sighed over nursing-in-duced irritation and soreness. Many weredespairing of ever enjoying their “bondingexperience.” And then finally, I met myfriend Mimi at the park. I casually men-tioned that my nursing was not all I hadhoped it would be. She nodded knowingly,and then whipped a bottle of Easy-Flowout of her pocketbook. “Easy-Flow,” sheconfidently asserted, “will change yourlife. Trust me. Just try it.” I began takingEasy-Flow twice a day, and I’ve neverlooked back since.

During my 2-month quest for an-swers, I learned many things about nursingthat I’d previously been unaware of. Ilearned that some women have a low milksupply, which results in an unsatisfied, un-happy baby. Other women have plentifulmilk, but still fail to satiate their baby’shunger due to poor milk consistency, dilut-ed quality, bitter taste or lack of nutrients.In some cases, mother’s milk cannot travelproperly for lack of conduit fluency - andthe frustrated baby cannot get enough. Attimes, superficial sores and skin conditionscan cause severe discomfort to the motherboth during and after nursing sessions.

Amazingly, the one natural, centuries-old antidote for all of these complicationsis Easy-Flow. This prize product fromSmiling Herbs both enhances and enrichesmother’s milk to its greatest advantage. It’sa healthy supplement that provides instan-taneous, positive results in many areas ofdifficulty. Easy-Flow aids smooth move-ment of the milk by ensuring consistencyand conduit clearance. It eliminates irrita-tion by targeting internal infection. It in-

creases baby’s appetite, making nursingsessions longer and more productive. Vitalminerals and nutrients give both motherand baby a healthy boost, as mom’s im-mune system is strengthened and resist-ance to infection and disease is fortified.One mother confided that she only beganusing Easy-Flow after twelve months ofnursing, when her milk supply graduallybegan to decrease. Easy-Flow reversed thedecline. With absolutely no side effects,Easy-Flow does not cause any reactions,allergic or otherwise. And best of all, Easy-Flow has a soothing effect on babies, tar-geting pressure points and eliminatingheadaches, upset stomachs, colic, gassi-ness, and other causes of stress or interfer-ence. It’s a favorite of mothers worldwide,who cannot help but rave about the incred-ible transformation that Easy-Flow hasbrought to their nursing sessions.

Recently, this standard herbal supple-ment was redesigned to contain a high-po-tency extract that is easy to take, with rev-olutionary results. The Smiling HerbsCompany saw the tremendous need for aproduct that would aid mothers significant-ly in their nursing. Using a precise pro-cessing system overseen by a highlytrained staff of field experts with extensiveknowledge of herbal history, SmilingHerbs reintroduced Easy-Flow to their ex-uberant customer base. The all-natural in-gredients are hand-selected for their physi-cal and chemical potential. Now small,easy-to-swallow capsules provide instantrelief in manageable dosages. While everymother needs to regulate her own dosage,most people see a definite improvementwith just two capsules a day. The feedbackthat Easy-Flow has received is overwhelm-ingly positive from their many satisfiedclients.

Now it’s 2:25am and the only reasonI’m still up is that I had to finish writingthis article, letting all the feeding-forlornmothers out there know about this unparal-leled product, so they too can upgrade theirnursing from bleary-eyed to beautiful.Mommies, don’t quit. Take Easy-Flow andget to enjoy the beauty, bounty, and bless-ing of your baby. Thank you, SmilingHerbs, for the miracle of quiet and content-ment that you’ve given me.

Good night!

EASY-FLOW: LITTLE ONE’S SERENITY,MOTHER’S BEST REMEDY

BY CHAYA SARA SCHLUSSEL

S P O T L I G H T

Smiling Herbs347-546-2792

[email protected]



46

When PresidentBarack Obamawarned of “interna-tional fallout” if Is-rael fails to embrace

the latest U.S. Middle East peace pro-posal, Newsmax asked noted authorand Harvard Law professor Alan Der-showitz to comment on the growingtalk of a European boycott against Is-rael.

Why are so many of the grand-children of Nazis and Nazi collabora-tors who brought us the Holocaustonce again declaring war on the Jews?

Why have we seen such an in-crease in anti-Semitism and irrational-ly virulent anti-Zionism in WesternEurope?

To answer these questions, a mythmust first be exposed. That myth is theone perpetrated by the French, theDutch, the Norwegians, the Swiss, theBelgians, the Austrians, and many oth-er western Europeans: namely that theHolocaust was solely the work of Ger-man Nazis aided perhaps by some Pol-ish, Ukrainian, Latvian, Lithuanian,and Estonian collaborators.

False.The Holocaust was perpetrated by

Europeans - by Nazi sympathizers andcollaborators among the French,Dutch, Norwegians, Swiss, Belgians,Austrians and other Europeans, bothWestern and Eastern.

If the French government had notdeported to the death camps more Jewsthan their German occupiers asked for;if so many Dutch and Belgian citizensand government officials had not coop-erated in the roundup of Jews; if somany Norwegians had not supportedQuisling; if Swiss government officials

and bankers had not exploited Jews; ifAustria had not been more Nazi thanthe Nazis, the Holocaust would nothave had so many Jewish victims.

In light of the widespread Euro-pean complicity in the destruction ofEuropean Jewry, the pervasive anti-Semitism and irrationally hateful anti-Zionism that has recently surfacedthroughout western Europe toward Is-rael should surprise no one.

“Oh no,” we hear from Europeanapologists. “This is different. We don’thate the Jews. We only hate their na-tion-state. Moreover, the Nazis wereright-wing. We’re left-wing, so wecan’t be anti-Semites.”

Nonsense.The hard left has a history of anti-

Semitism as deep and enduring as thehard right. The line from Voltaire, toKarl Marx, to Levrenti Beria, toRobert Faurisson, to today’s hard-leftIsrael bashers is as straight as the linefrom Wilhelm Mars to the persecutorsof Alfred Dreyfus to Hitler.

The Jews of Europe have alwaysbeen crushed between the Black andthe Red - victims of extremismwhether it be the ultra-nationalism ofKhmelnitsky to the ultra-anti-Semi-tism of Stalin.

“But some of the most strident an-ti-Zionists are Jews, such as NormanFinkelstein and even Israelis such asGilad Atzmon. Surely they can’t be an-ti-Semites.”

Why not? Gertrude Stein and Al-ice Toklas collaborated with theGestapo. Atzmon, a hard leftist, de-scribes himself as a proud self-hatingJew and admits that his ideas derivefrom a notorious anti-Semite.

He denies that the Holocaust is

historically proved but he believes thatJews may well have killed Christianchildren to use their blood to bakePassover matzah. And he thinks it’s“rational” to burn down synagogues.

Finkelstein believes in an interna-tional Jewish conspiracy that includesSteven Spielberg, Leon Uris, EliWiesel, and Andrew Lloyd Webber!

“But Israel is doing bad things tothe Palestinians,” the European apolo-gists insist, “and we are sensitive to theplight of the underdog.”

No, you’re not! Where are yourdemonstrations on behalf of the op-pressed Tibetans, Georgians, Syrians,Armenians, Kurds, or even Ukraini-ans? Where are your BDS movementsagainst the Chinese, the Russians, theCubans, the Turks, or the Assadregime?

Only the Palestinians, only Israel?Why? Not because the Palestinians aremore oppressed than these and othergroups.

Only because their alleged op-pressors are Jews and the nation-stateof the Jews. Would there be demon-strations and BDS campaigns on be-half of the Palestinians if they were op-pressed by Jordan or Egypt?

Oh, wait! The Palestinians wereoppressed by Egypt and Jordan. Gazawas an open-air prison between 1948and 1967, when Egypt was the occu-pying power. And remember BlackSeptember, when Jordan killed morePalestinians than Israel did in a centu-ry? I don’t remember any demonstra-tion or BDS campaigns - because thereweren’t any.

When Arabs occupy or kill Arabs,Europeans go ho-hum. But when Israelopens a soda factory in Maale Adu-

For ShameBy alan DerShowitz

P E O P L E



47

mim, which even the Palestinian lead-ership acknowledges will remain partof Israel in any peace deal, Oxfamparts ways with Scarlett Johansson foradvertising a soda company that em-ploys hundreds of Palestinians.

Keep in mind that Oxfam has pro-vided “aid and material support” totwo anti-Israel terrorist groups, ac-cording to the Tel Aviv-based IsraeliLaw Group.

The hypocrisy of so many hard-left western Europeans would be stag-gering if it were not so predictablebased on the sordid history of WesternEurope’s treatment of the Jews.

Even England, which was on theright side of the war against Nazism,has a long history of anti-Semitism,beginning with the expulsion of theJews in 1290 to the notorious WhitePaper of 1939, which prevented theJews of Europe from seeking asylumfrom the Nazis in British-mandatedPalestine. And Ireland, which vacillat-ed in the war against Hitler, boastssome of the most virulent anti-Israelrhetoric.

The simple reality is that one can-not understand the current western Eu-ropean left-wing war against the na-tion-state of the Jewish people withoutfirst acknowledging the long-term Eu-ropean war against the Jewish peoplethemselves.

Theodore Herzl understood thepervasiveness and irrationality of Eu-ropean anti-Semitism, which led himto the conclusion that the only solution

to Europe’s Jewish problem was forEuropean Jews to leave that bastion ofJew hatred and return to their originalhomeland, which is now the state of Is-rael.

None of this is to deny Israel’s im-perfections or the criticism it justly de-serves for some of its policies. Butthese imperfections and deserved criti-cism cannot even begin to explain,must less justify, the disproportionatehatred directed against the only nation-state of the Jewish people and the dis-proportionate silence regarding the fargreater imperfections and deservedcriticism of other nations and groups -including the Palestinians.

Nor is this to deny that manywestern European individuals andsome western European countries haverefused to succumb to the hatredagainst the Jews or their state. TheCzech Republic comes to mind. Butfar too many western Europeans are as

irrational in their hatred toward Israelas their forbearers were in their hatredtoward their Jewish neighbors.

As author Amos Oz once aptlyobserved: the walls of his grandpar-ents’ Europe were covered with graffi-ti saying, “Jews, go to Palestine.” Nowthey say, “Jews, get out of Palestine” -by which is meant Israel.

Who do these western Europeanbigots think they’re fooling? Onlyfools who want to be fooled in the in-terest of denying that they are mani-festing new variations on their grand-parents’ old biases.

Any objective person with anopen mind, open eyes, and an openheart must see the double standard be-ing applied to the nation-state of theJewish people. Many doing so are thegrandchildren of those who lethallyapplied a double standard to the Jewsof Europe in the 1930s and 1940s.

For shame!



48



52

One year ago, on June 14, 2013 daredevil NikWallenda crossed the Little Colorado RiverGorge, in Rocky Mountain, CO, walking highabove the span on a two-inch cable. Thecanyon below was 1500 feet deep. The length

of the rope was over a quarter mile. The shoes he wore wereleather moccasins, hand stitched by his mother. The soft skinlet him feel the cable with the bottom of his feet, heel to toe,as he rose and fell with its gentle flow. He carried a balanc-ing rod across his back, weighing 45 lbs. and spanning 12feet. He shifted the bar from side to side, slightly at first,more and more as the winds picked up. He walked steadilyand deliberately and prayed as he walked. A number oftimes, the strong winds forced him to stop and crouch closeto the wire. Gusts, during his journey, were up to 30MPH.

The remarkable event was sponsored by National Geo-graphic. Shortly after he crossed the span I watched a bit ofhis feat online. Recently, I watched the entire episode again,slowly. I saw Nik’s father, an experienced ropewalker him-self, reassuring his son, and Nik, in an attempt to remain re-laxed and distracted, speaking to his dad about the wonder-ful view from on high. Later, he would say that dust blew in-to his eyes and the winds were stronger than expected. Buthe kept going, one foot probing forward, the other pulling upgracefully behind it. It was a 22-minute walk, forever and aday in the life of a tightrope walker.

As he came close to solid ground, near the far end of theabyss, his father prodded him to continue to walk slowly.

S O U N D O F F

But the end was near and Nik could contain himself nomore. “I will,” he says, and he begins to run. One foot infront of the other, he surges forward the last twenty feet al-most in a trot, until he reaches solid ground, jumps off, kiss-es the earth, and falls into the outstretched arms of his wifeand children.

The running troubled me. Managing the risk of walkinga wire 1500 feet over a crater was something for which hehad trained. Running on a wire near the end of an exhaust-ing attempt, seemed impulsive and reckless. He could havefallen to his demise 10 feet shy of his goal, without the chal-lenge of dirt in his eyes or 30MPH wind gusts. And it wouldhave been for naught.

I say this as one who is uncomfortable with heights ofany sort.

Recently, my children and I went to the Six FlagsAmusement Park in Arlington, TX. The kids wanted to goon the Texas Swing, and I went along for their sake. Mydaughter and I shared a double seat swing. Raised 400 feetin the air and secured merely by seatbelt and a bar across thefront of the chair, the ride swung us in a circle, at a 45 de-gree angle, pulled us to the outside of the circle with cen-trifugal force. My daughter laughed heartily as I held onwith all my might, sure that the end was near.

But the Texas Swing is OK. Running at the end of atightrope walk is not.

It is a deeply held soul-belief of many Orthodox Jewsthat a long span of history is coming to a tumultuous, butpredicted end. Our people, though spread throughout theworld, are now mostly living in Israel, as our prophets prom-ised thousands of years ago. World changing events, onceelongated over decades, now occur over weeks or days.Nothing can surprise us; we are open to accepting new real-ities as soon as they emerge. The world is more connectedthan at any time before. A new idea can take the world inmoments and in storm.

All around us, in various forms and arrangements, thereare the culture clashes of secular vs. religious and the Judeo-Christian vs. the Islamic. There is confusion about humani-ty’s relationship to the planet, the definition of gender, therelationship of male and female and the meaning of nation-hood. A Messianic leader could resolve those issues andbring everyone back to the stability of Source.

If there ever was a time when the world could appreci-ate a Moshiach moment, it is now.

As Jews, our mission is to connect to G-d through Torahstudy and Mitzvah observance. Both study and observanceare at levels laudable for any time in history. Thousands of



53

American Jews make Toraso Umnaso,and are supported by family, commu-nity, and a generous secular govern-ment, a reality unrivaled in history. Ex-cessively dry Yukon wheat may neverbefore have been used for Matzos;Ashkenazi Jews may have never eatenBeit Yosef meats before; vegetablesmay have never been so bug free be-fore; all of them signs of the serious-ness with which we take our commit-ments.

But the larger question to me is:while Moshiach is close and may ar-rive at any moment, can we build acommunity based on that intuition?Has the Orthodox Jewish communityever before been so top heavy, withouta plan for sustainability? Is a modelbuilt on a multitude of people depend-ent on a few rich benefactors and sec-ular government handouts a responsi-ble communal construct? Is growing ageneration of men who study until theycan’t, and need to then find a source ofincome without the self-confidenceand skills they could have easily ac-quired had they taken the yoke of par-nassah at a younger age, in the interestof the spiritual commitment of the nextgeneration - and the one after it? Aremega-donations by fabulously wealthypeople an economic plan? Why do weavoid a vision that creates and lionizesa strong middle class - honorable,hardworking balabatim who make aliving in dignity by employing skillslearned in academic environmentsworthy of the intellectualism withwhich we pride ourselves? Why in-stead do we promote the “spiritualselfie” - getting through our generationwithout planning for those who comeafter us?

The end is near. The ebbs andflows of history will soon lead us tosolid land. I understand and appreciatethe temptation to run the last 20 feet. Iwant to run it as well. But if we caremore about our children than aboutourselves, we ought to consider a mod-el that will create doros yesharim, chil-dren that will be independent, strong,and confident, until the arrival ofMoshiach speedily in our days .

The author of two books, YaakovRosenblatt is a rabbi and businessmanin Dallas, Texas

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-201056


Starting July 6th, Catch the Country in the Country Radio Show, Sunday Evenings, 8 - 10 PMon Thunder 102.1 FM. For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 57



58

sions aren’t solely in the realm of thehusband and wife, all kinds of troublesabound.

RW: It sounds pretty scary!YH: Then there are the families

that don’t have money, but I convincethem to prevaricate (For obvious rea-sons, I don’t like to use the words ‘tolie!’), for otherwise, they’ll never mar-ry off their daughters. After the wed-ding, the young man goes back to theyeshiva expecting a monthly stipendfrom his shver. After a few months,there’s no check in the mail! He callsup his father-in-law and says, “Dad, Ididn’t get a check!” The shver tellshim, “Sorry son, business isn’t toogood. You’re on your own.” The hus-band turns to his wife and asks, “Didyou deceive me?” She starts crying,“What could I do?” At the very best,we now have a family whose marriageis foundering both economically andemotionally.

RW: That’s a very grim scenario.YH: It doesn’t always happen that

way. Sometimes, the father-in-law ac-tually does have a reversal in businessor he gets sick. Or, he loses his job, orthere’s a stock market crash, but the re-sults are pretty much the same.

RW: You must agree, however,that there are thousands of kollel fami-lies that are learning productively andare producing the future Bnei Torah ofour people.

YH: Certainly. There are manythat Hashem wants to do precisely justthat and as we all know, “TalmudTorah kneged kulom - The study ofTorah equals everything else.” There isno question that the thirty or forty per-cent of our talented Bnei Torah who

come the regular norm and I wreak allkinds of havoc from its fallout.

RW: Such as?YH: Today, when people call up

about a prospective shidduch, theirfirst question is not about character,not about temperament, nor is it aboutrefinement. Instead, they ask “Howmuch money do they have? Is theirbusiness stable? Are they willing tosupport long-term?” They even askwhether the family is willing to put upmoney in escrow.

RW: Yes, you are correct. As aRav, I’m a clearinghouse for manyshidduchim. I’m amazed that some-times they don’t even get around toasking whether the girl is pretty. Onthe other hand, I’ve already been askedwhether the family would supply a taxreturn.

YH: (chuckling) Yes! I’ve turnedit into a regular business exchange!

RW: What else?YH: Well, a girl from a wealthy

home can sometimes be spoiled andhave expectations that her poorer hus-band cannot understand or cannotmeet. There are even times that thewealthy young lady looks down at her“poorly bred” spouse which leads toall kinds of trouble.

RW: Anything else?YH: Oh! I’m just getting started.

When the father-in-law is paying thebills, oftentimes he wants to be the de-cision maker. There are times that thein-laws want to decide where the cou-ple should live or which doctors theyshould use, which schools they shouldpick, and when they should come forShabbos and Yom Tov. After all, theyare paying the bills. When these deci-

As I was walking homefrom shul one day, out ofthe corner of my eye Icaught a glimpse of theYeitzer HaRa on the oth-

er side of the street. I quickly crossedover and approached him. After greet-ing him, I asked him whether I couldimpose upon him, once again, a fewquestions. He looked at me with a grin,wagged his finger, and said, “You’regoing to try to pry some more trade se-crets from me, aren’t you?” Sheepish-ly, I answered in the affirmative. To mygreat delight, he agreed to a quick in-terview. Not to waste a moment, Istarted forthwith.

Rabbi Weiss: I imagine today’sshidduch scene is a fertile crescent foryour operation.

Yeitzer HaRa: You can say thatagain!

RW: Can you give me an exam-ple?

YH: Well, for starters, I convincemany young people to marry for thewrong reasons.

RW: Such as?YH: Many of our young men are

easily swayed to marry where there arebig bucks. Of course, they hoodwinkthemselves into thinking that every-thing else is also picture perfect. But,when hundreds of thousands of dollarsare promised, with a house and a carlease and a prettily packaged young la-dy, it is oh so easy to mislead manyyoung men.

RW: Millennia ago, the Gemarain Kiddushin warned us about the pit-fall of, “Hanosei isha l’shum manon -One who marries a woman for money.”

YH: That’s true, but now it’s be-

T O R A H

An Interview With theYeitzer HaRa About the

Shidduch Crisisby Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss



59

will have futures as magidei shiurim, rabbonim, rosheiyeshiva, melamdei tinokos, principals, day school teachers,and full-time learners are exactly where they are supposed tobe. But, what about the rest of our young men, meaning theones who are not cut out for sitting and learning the entireday? They have no zitzfleish and don’t have the intellectualacumen, are restless and unfulfilled. It is with this hugenumber of men that I make all kinds of mischief.

RW: Oh c’mon! Sixty percent of our boys are notmessed up. There is a large percentage that will join theirfamilies’ business after five years of learning. Then, anotherlarge percentage have inborn talent and intuitive businessacumen that will allow them to succeed in business and realestate. Yet others have an inborn knack for carpentry or com-puters.

YH: Ok. Ok. But I’m still talking about a significantminority. It is this group that I really mess around with.

RW: In what way?YH: Well, I convince them to take the course of least

resistance: stay in yeshiva. No one likes change and theydon’t have to take any exams. Most importantly, if they leaveyeshiva, they won’t be promised the glick shidduch with allkinds of financial support.

RW: Is it so bad that they sit and learn a little bitlonger?

YH: Think about the repercussions. An idealistic youngwoman is going to be fooled into thinking that this is a manwho has a promising future in learning, one who she is will-ing to tirelessly work for, even while pregnant, and take careof a home when all the while her husband is frustrated withthe interminable hours of learning and feeling unfulfilledand many times even jealous of his wife’s successes.

RW: I think the future for these couples is even lesspromising.

YH: You hit the nail on the head. When the wife final-ly cannot manage any more, this young man is ill-preparedto enter the workforce, having spent many years not prepar-ing himself for a gainful employment.

RW: It would seem to me that we have to revive theTorah v’Daas style of old when this premier yeshiva pro-duced proud and high level Torah Zevulun Baalei Batim ofpride and distinction.

YH: Shhhh! I hope no one is listening to you. You couldput me out of business quickly. But now I believe you’resanctioning college and playing right into my hand with allof its indecency and heresy.

RW: Don’t put words in my mouth. Today, there aremany alternatives: Touro, Project Cope and a host of onlineoptions, to name but a few. As to college itself, this is some-thing that the young man must discuss with his Rosh Yeshi-va or a reputable poseik.

YH: Did I hear you say “online?”RW: Don’t be a wise-guy. I meant with a filter.YH: But, don’t forget, you will also need to produce

girls who will want these secularly trained young men.RW: I don’t think that’s a problem. There are enough

girls these days that see their parents struggling in parnassaand are looking for a husband who will give them some fi-nancial security. There are many young ladies who feel that

they cannot be superwomen. They simply do not have thestamina to be the primary breadwinner of the family whilejuggling childrearing, and, at the same time, being a goodwife and mother.

YH: What are you trying to do? Buck the system?RW: I think that you’re just talking tongue in cheek.

You know as well as I that there are thousands of girls cry-ing in their pillows because they can’t get a shidduch. Plus,there are fathers who are out of work themselves and findthat they can’t get a phone call with four of their daughtersbacking up, to their great dismay.

YH: And you should see the internal fighting betweenchildren and parents in these homes! Daughters blamingtheir parents for not figuring out a way to support them! Thisleads to wives looking accusingly at husbands and husbandssnapping in their frustration at everyone. It’s my kind of roy-al mess!

RW: Well, that about wraps it up, I guess.YH: Are you kidding? This is but the tip of the iceberg.

Still, I’ve got to move on to my next case. Maybe we cancontinue another time.

RW: I really appreciate your insights and I must tell youwe will pray to Hashem to be able to sidestep all the mischiefthat you put in our paths. Thank you for your time..Sheldon Zeitlin transcribes Rabbi Weiss’ articles.

To receive a weekly cassette tape or CD directly fromRabbi Weiss, please send a check to Rabbi Moshe MeirWeiss, P.O. Box 140726, Staten Island, NY 10314 or con-tact him at [email protected]. Visit his website atwww.RabbiMosheMeirWeiss.com.

Order Rabbi Weiss’ sefer, Power Bentching, by callinghim at 718-916-3100.

Attend Rabbi Weiss’ weekly shiur at the Landau Shul,Avenue L and East 9th in Flatbush, Tuesday nights at 9:30p.m.

Rabbi Weiss’s Daf Yomi and Mishnah Yomis shiurimcan be heard LIVE on Kol Haloshon at (718) 906-6400.Write to [email protected] for details.



60

Among the many posi-tive attributes that mygreat-grandchildrenpossess is that many ofthem have unusually

beautiful eyes. This is especiallytrue of the female branch of ourfamily. And that is truly fortunate,for the Talmud teaches us that awoman who possesses beautifuleyes needs no further inspection -one can be assured that she is of ex-ceptional quality.

The Torah points out that ourmother Leah had dim or weak eyesin contradistinction to the beauty ofher sister Rachel. But the idea ofbeautiful eyes is not limited tophysical beauty alone. The Torahdemands of us, eyes that have asense of vision that can see fromafar - even see the otherwise un-seen.

Our vision is not limited to ourphysical eyes but rather is definedby our ability to see beyond ourphysical boundaries and naturallimitations. And that perhaps iswhat the rabbis really meant, on adeeper level, when they wrote ofthe great attribute of beautiful eyes.

In effect, the Torah requiresthat we engage in periodic eyechecks. We all know how difficult itis to read the bottom lines of theeye chart. The letters are too smalland the distance from our eyes tothe chart itself is too great. So too isit in the realm of life and the spirit.We are unable to read the lines thatforecast our futures and we feel thatthe challenge of doing so is toomuch to ask of us. But the Torah isunrelenting in posting its eye charts

for us to attempt to read.The Talmud offers a majority

opinion that the sightless are freedof certain obligations of performingthe commandments of the Torah.But there is a minority opinion,faithfully and respectfully record-ed, that they are nevertheless fullyobligated in the performance of thecommandments of the Torah.

On a certain level of under-standing, the idea of the sightless isonly a physical defect, albeit cer-tainly a major one. But the Torahoperates on a spiritual and non-physical plane as well as on the ra-tional, realistic one that we can allexperience. The commandments ofthe Torah can have relevant mean-ing and spiritual accomplishmenteven to the visually impaired.

And, the Talmud again respect-fully and faithfully records the mi-nority opinion for the Torah’s com-mandments have effect and rele-vance on many levels and planes ofmeaning and importance. TheTorah mocks idolatry and those thatworship idols by stating that “theyhave eyes but nevertheless are un-able to see.” Worshipping physicalitems, hedonism, false gods andwarped ideals are symptoms of se-vere sightlessness.

By not being able to see theconsequences of immoral behaviorand perverted attitudes, one isdoomed to failure and pain, just asthe sightless are liable to causethemselves physical harm by ven-turing out unguided onto a roadstrewn with obstacles. Without vi-sion there can be no progress orachievement.

The Torah, when it wishes toinform of the unique character andpersonal qualities of our fatherAvraham, states: “And he saw theplace from afar.” Midrash pointsout that his two colleagues who ac-companied him to Mount Moriah,Yishmael and Eliezer, were unableto see that place from a distance.However, Avraham’s son Yitzchak,like his father, saw the unseenthrough the omnipresent G-dlycloud hovering over the mountain.

In the long and very dark nightof the Jewish exile, Jews neverthe-less saw beyond their current plightand difficulties and envisioned theirpromised, eventual return to theirancient homeland, the Land of Is-rael. They were able to see theplace and their better future fromafar. And that vision became a real-ity in our generations.

The Torah teaches us that “awise man has eyes in his head.”Well, doesn’t everyone have eyes intheir head? That is certainly true inphysical terms but in terms of vi-sion and spiritual farsightedness,there are many who tragically arenot too wise. The connection be-tween our eyes and our head, ourbehavior and our moral and spiritu-al aspirations is not always what itshould be.

A wise person realizes thatone’s eyes must be in one’s headand that one’s eyesight must alwaysbe checked and corrected. So eventhough my great- granddaughtershave beautiful eyes, I still pray thatthey will be blessed with good vi-sion, physically and spiritually. Fortruly, the eyes do have it.

T O R A H

THE EYES HAVE ITBY RABBI BEREL WEIN



64

AN ECLECTIC COLLECTION OF NEWS ITEMS,FEATURES AND HUMOR WE JUST COULDN’T

FIT ANYWHERE ELSE!

Fooled you! And you, and you, andyou.

Even the best friends of Senator JohnForbes Kerry, a practicing Catholic fromMassachusetts (the state which containsAmerica’s largest Irish Catholic popula-tion), thought of him as an American IrishCatholic through and through.

The discovery of Kerry’s EuropeanJewish roots has surprised many people, in-cluding the senator himself.

Benedikt Kohn (Great-Grandfather)Benedikt Kohn, the great-grandfather

of Senator John Kerry, was born about 1824in southern Moravia. Benedikt was success-ful as a master brewer of beer.

In 1868, after the death of his first wife,he moved to Bennisch (today called HorniBenesov) and married Mathilde FrankelKohn. Benedikt and Mathilde Kohn weretwo of the only 27 Jews living in Bennisch,which is listed as having a total populationof 4,200, in 1880.

Soon after Benedikt died in 1876,Mathilde moved to Vienna with her childrenIda (7), Friedrich “Fritz” (3) and Otto (new-born).

Fritz Kohn - Fred Kerry (Grandfather)Fritz and Otto excelled in their studies

in Vienna. However, like other Jews, theysuffered greatly from the anti-Semitism thatprevailed in Europe at this time. As a result,both Kohn brothers abandoned their Jewishheritage and converted to Roman Catholi-cism.

In addition, in 1897, Otto decided toshed the Jewish-sounding name of Kohn. Hechose a new name by dropping a pencil on amap. The pencil landed on Ireland’s CountyKerry. In 1901, Fritz followed his brother’sexample and officially changed his name toFrederick Kerry.

Fred, who worked as an accountant athis uncle’s shoe factory, married Ida Loewe,a Jewish musician from Budapest. Ida was adescendant of Sinai Loew, a brother of Rab-

bi Judah Loew, the famousKabbalist, philosopher andTalmudist known as the“Maharal of Prague” whosome say invented the char-acter of the Golem. Two ofIda’s siblings, Otto Loeweand Jenni Loewe, werekilled in Nazi concentrationcamps.

Fred, Ida and their firstson Erich were all baptizedas Catholics. And in 1905,the young family immigrat-ed to America. After enter-ing through Ellis Island, thefamily first lived in Chicagoand then settled in Boston.Fred and Ida had two morechildren in America, Mil-dred (1910) and Richard(1915).

Fred and Ida and theirthree children lived inBrookline, where Fred be-came a prominent man inthe shoe business and regu-larly attended SundayCatholic church services.Fred did not tell and noone would have guessedthat the family had Jewishroots.

In 1921, Fred Kerry, atage 48, entered a Bostonhotel and shot himself in thehead. Some say the suicidewas due to financial stressor depression. Perhaps thetransition from Czech Jewto American Catholic wastoo great and unsupported aspiritual, psychological andsocial change.

Richard Kerry (Father)Richard was six years

old when his father commit-ted suicide. It has been saidthat he dealt with thetragedy by ignoring it.Richard attended PhillipsAcademy, Yale Universityand Harvard Law School.After serving in the U.S.Army Air Corps, Kerryworked in the U.S. Depart-ment of State and later theForeign Service.

T I M E L I N E

IrIsh CatholIC or CzeCh Jew?

John Kerry’s JewIsh roots



65

He married Rosemary Forbes, the beneficiary of theForbes family trusts. The Forbes family amassed a huge for-tune in China trade.

Richard and Rosemary had four children: Margery(1941), John (1943), Diana (1947) and Cameron (1950).John, a Massachusetts Senator, is the 2004 DemocraticNominee for President. Cameron, who married a Jewishwoman and converted to Judaism in 1983, is a prominentBoston lawyer.

John Forbes KerryIn 1997 Secretary of State Madeleine Albright learned

three of her four grandparents were Jewish. Then WesleyClark announced that his father was Jewish. And now a re-searcher has discovered that John Kerry is really John Kohn.

So what if John Kerry has Jewish roots? If the discov-ery had been made in Europe in the 1940’s, Kerry wouldhave been sent to a Nazi concentration camp. If the discov-ery had been made in America in the 1950’s, Kerry’s polit-ical career would have been negatively affected. Lookingback, however, the discovery of Kerry’s Jewish roots seemsinconsequential and did not likely have any effect on the2004 presidential race.

The story of Kerry’s Jewish past is of interest because itreflects the story of many European Jews who shed theirJewish heritage en route to America at the turn of the centu-ry. The story makes one wonder how many Americans todayhave Jewish roots of which they are unaware.http://judaism.about.com/od/jewishgenealogy/a/jewpas_kerry.htm

e are in so much trouble, I hardly knowwhere to begin!

Let’s start with our southern border.Have you seen what’s going on downthere? Thousands upon thousands of

people just streaming across the border, without even theslightest attempt being made by our thoroughly corruptgovernment to stop the unending flow.

How about the IRS illegaly tar-geting conservative groups, therebypreventing them from advocatingfor their positions and candidates inthe previous election? How’s thatfor corruption?! And to add insult toinjury, when called to task for theiractions, their response is “…we lostthe relevant two years ofemails.” Why didn’t they justsay the dog ate my homework?!

Or how about the Veterans Ad-ministration falsifying the data re-garding wait times for veterans tobe seen by doctors? These are the people who have madesuch tremendous sacrifices to serve and protect these pin-headed administrators, and what is their reward? They aretreated like pawns in a crooked shell game, being promisedone thing while being delivered the exact opposite. Onlythis isn’t a game. Many of these brave warriors died wait-ing for the care to which they were so eminently entitled.

Now knowing all this you would think some people wouldbe punished, some heads would roll. You would be wrong.Millions of dollars in bonuses were dutifully paid.

We should all be paying close attention to this one inparticular because it is the clearest indication of whatawaits us should we not be successful in repealing and re-placing Obamacare. Inneficiency and corruption are thehallmarks of government programs, and they are virtually

inescapable when dealing with gar-gantuan government programs.Only in this instance we are notjust dealing with money. These areliterally life and death issues.

Perhaps most dismaying of allis the seemingly inexorable declinein the moral fabric of the country.From the institutionalization of in-fanticide through the legalizationof abortion, to the glorification ofdeviancy through the destructionof traditional marriage, the barbar-ians have long since breached the

gate and we find ourselves fighting a rear-guard action tomaintain a semblance of normalcy. This cannot stand. If itis not reversed, this country, like so many before it, willfall and be ground into the dust of history. Do not allowyourself to become dependent on the government, or likethe passengers on the Titanic, you will go down with theship.

IINNTTRROOUUBBLLEE

W



66

Ten seasonal bungalow colonies and summer camps are taking part in a six-week long Community MitzvahAward contest this summer, sponsored by Sullivan Renaissance. Three top prizes worth $10,000, $5000 and$3000 will be awarded to the participants that best clean-up and maintain their grounds and improve the lookof their facilities.

Participants include:• American Theological, summer camp in Kiamesha• Camp Bnos Ahavas Israel, summer camp in Liberty• Camp Mesivta Eitz Chaim, summer camp in Parksville• Camp Simcha, summer camp in Glen Spey• Camp Tashbar, summer camp in Liberty• Far Site Bungalows, bungalow colony in Monticello• Ichud Hatalmidim, bungalow colony in Monticello• Khal Divre Chaim, bungalow colony in Kauneonga Lake• Machne Gila, summer camp in Liberty• Skolya Bungalows, bungalow colony in South Fallsburg

The contest begins this month with participants making improvements to their grounds. Each camp is then observedon a weekly basis by data takers who record what can be seen from the road. The sites will be visited by a team of judgesfrom outside Sullivan County in August and the winner announced at the Awards Ceremony on August 11.

All the participating camps and colonies will receive a$500 seed grant, and those that finish the contest will get acompletion grant of $500. Each participant also receivestwo planting containers with flowers and instructions,which must be maintained throughout the contest.

Campers and/or staff are also required to participate inan educational presentation and orientation by SullivanRenaissance staff. All the participants will then be treated tokosher ice cream provided by an approved vendor for all thechildren involved in helping to maintain the property’scleanliness.

Last year saw five participants in the contest, whichwas won by Skolya Bungalows on Route 42 in SouthFallsburg. The goal of Sullivan Renaissance is to help guidecommunities to improve their visual standards.

For information about all of Sullivan Renaissance’sseasonal programs, contact Allen Frishman at 845-436-

8945 or [email protected].

WHAT’S NEW

AROUND TOWNSULLIVAN RENAISSANCE:

COMMUNITY MITZVAH AWARDTEN SEASONAL COMMUNITIES COMPETE

IN BEAUTIFICATION CONTEST



67



68

all standing around Dan’s Shabbostable. Dan noticed his guest fidget-ing and leafing through his song-book, apparently looking for some-thing. He asked with a smile, “Isthere a song you want to sing? I canhelp if you’re not sure about thetune.”

The guest’sface lit up. “Thereis a song I’d like tosing, but I can’tfind it here. I reallyliked what we sangin the synagoguetonight. What wasit called? Some-thing ‘Dodi.’”

Dan paused fora moment, on theverge of saying,“It’s not usuallysung at the table,”but then he caughthimself. “If that’swhat the kidwants,” he thought,“what’s the harm?”Aloud he said,“You mean LechaDodi. Wait, let meget you a siddur.”

Once they hadsung Lecha Dodi,the young man re-sumed his silenceuntil after the soup,when Dan askedhim, “Which songnow?” The guestlooked embar-rassed, but after abit of encourage-ment said firmly,“I’d really like to

R E A L L I F E

A BeautifulJewish Story

On his way out of shul inJerusalem, Dan ap-proached a young manin jeans and a back-pack. With dark skin

and curly black hair, he lookedSephardi, maybe Moroccan.

“Good Shabbos. My name is

Dan Eisenblatt. Would you like toeat at my house tonight?”

The young man’s face changedin an instant from a worried look toa smile. “Yeah, thanks. My name isMachi.”

Together they walked out of theshul. A few minutes later they were



69

sing Lecha Dodi again.”Dan was not really all that surprised when, after the

chicken, he asked his guest what song now, and theyoung man said, “Lecha Dodi, please.” Dan almostblurted out, “Let’s sing it a little softer this time, theneighbors are going to think I’m nuts.” He finally said,“Don’t you want to sing something else?”

His guest blushed and looked down. “I just reallylike that one,” he mumbled. “Just something about it - Ireally like it.” In all, they must have sung “The Song”eight or nine times. Dan wasn’t sure - he lost count. Lat-er Dan asked, “Where are you from?”

The boy looked pained, then stared down at thefloor and said softly, “Ramallah.”

Dan was sure he’d heard the boy say “Ramallah,” alarge Arab city on the West Bank. Quickly he caughthimself, and then realized that he must have said Ram-leh, an Israeli city. Dan said, “Oh, I have a cousin there.Do you know Ephraim Warner? He lives on HerzlStreet.”

The young man shook his head sadly. “There are noJews in Ramallah.”

Dan gasped. He really had said “Ramallah!” Histhoughts were racing. Did he just spend Shabbos withan Arab? He told the boy, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused.And now that I think of it, I haven’t even asked your fullname. What is it, please?”

The boy looked nervous for a moment, thensquared his shoulders and said quietly, “Machmud Ibn-esh-Sharif.”

Dan stood there speechless. What could he say?Machmud broke the silence hesitantly: “I was born andgrew up in Ramallah. I was taught to hate my Jewishoppressors, and to think about killing them would makeme a hero. But I always had my doubts. I mean, wewere taught that the Sunna, the tradition, says, ‘No oneof you is a believer until he desires for his brother thatwhich he desires for himself.’ I used to sit and wonder,weren’t the Yahud (Jews) people, too? Didn’t they havethe right to live the same as us? If we’re supposed to begood to everyone, how come nobody includes Jews inthat? I put these questions to my father, and he threw meout of the house. By now my mind was made up: I wasgoing to run away and live with the Yahud, until I couldfind out what they were really like. I snuck back into thehouse that night, to get my things and my backpack.

“My mother caught me in the middle of packing. Itold her that I wanted to go live with the Jews for awhile and find out what they are really like and maybeI would even want to convert.

“She was turning more and more pale while I saidall this, and I thought she was angry, but that wasn’t it.Something else was hurting her and she whispered gen-tly, ‘You don’t have to convert. You already are a Jew.’

“I was shocked. My head started spinning, and fora moment I couldn’t speak. Then I stammered, ‘Whatdo you mean?’

‘In Judaism,’ she told me, ‘the religion goes accordingto the mother. I’m Jewish, so that means you’re Jewish.’



70

“I never had any idea my moth-er was Jewish. I guess she didn’twant anyone to know. She whis-pered suddenly, ‘I made a mistakeby marrying an Arab man. In you,my mistake will be redeemed.’

“My mother always talked thatway, poetic-like. She went and dugout some old documents, andhanded them to me: things like mybirth certificate and her old IsraeliID card, so I could prove I was aJew.

“I’ve got them here, but I don’tknow what to do with them. Mymother hesitated about one piece ofpaper. Then she said, ‘You may aswell take this. It is an old photo-graph of my grandparents, whichwas taken when they went visitingthe grave of some great ancestor ofours.’

“Now I have traveled here to Is-rael. I’m just trying to find outwhere I belong.”

Dan gently put his hand onMachmud’s shoulder. Machmudlooked up, scared and hopeful at thesame time. Dan asked, “Do youhave the photo here?”

The boy’s face lit up. “Sure! Ialways carry it with me.” Hereached in his backpack and pulledout an old, tattered envelope. WhenDan read the gravestone inscription,he nearly dropped the photo.

He rubbed his eyes to makesure. There was no doubt. This wasa grave in the old cemetery in Tzfat,and the inscription identified it asthe grave of the great kabbalist andtzaddik Rabbi Shlomo Alkabetz.

Dan’s voice quivered with ex-citement as he explained to Mach-mud who his ancestor was. “He wasa friend of the Arizal, a great Torahscholar, a tzaddik, a mystic. And,Machmud, your ancestor wrote thatsong we were singing all Shabbos:Lecha Dodi!”

This time it was Machmud’sturn to be struck speechless. Dan ex-tended his trembling hand and said,“Welcome home, Machmud.”

This true story, submitted byNechama Goodman, is documented in“Monsey, Kiryat Sefer and Beyond” byZev Roth.



C O V E R S T O R Y

Harav Yechiel Abucha-tzeira will daven for youat the resting place of theHoly Tannah Rav Yona-son ben Uziel on the

15th of Av!For those who haven’t yet merited

to find their zivug (match), Amukaisn’t just a place, it’s an extraordi-nary opportunity to have their prayersanswered, especially on the auspiciousday of Tu B’Av.

“There were no better days for theJewish people than the 15th of Av…,”says the Talmud. On this day, theyoung women of Jerusalem would goout dressed in their white finery anddance in vineyards, in a courtship ritu-al that led to marriage.

This year, Harav YechielAbuchatzeira, scion to a family ofrenowned kabbalists, will once againbe going to Amuka on the 15th of Av –which this year falls out on August 11– on behalf of Yad L’Achim to lead atefillah of the masses. The Rav, who isalso the chief rabbi of Ramle, will readfrom a list of names given over to YadL’Achim and immerse in heartfeltprayer for each individual by name.

Many of those who participated inlast year’s event have reported seeingpositive results.

The event, which is shrouded in anaura of holiness and reverence, beginswith mincha, as it says, “Eliyahu wasanswered only at mincha.” Afterwards,Rav Abuchatzeira will lead the crowdin the recitation of seder hatikkun.

The Rav will then take out a sho-far that is 150 years old, an inheritancefrom his grandfather, the admor RabiMassoud Abuchatzeira, who receivedit from his father, the Abir Yaakov. Ra-bi Massoud is the father of the Baba

72



73

Sali and of the Rav’s father, theBaba Chaki. Before blowing it, theRav will ask those assembled tohave kavana that the prayers theyoffer on behalf of men and womenin need of a shidduch will be an-swered quickly.

The admor will ascend theroof of the holy tziyun and circle itseven times, holding lists of thosewho have donated to the mitzvahof Pidyon Shvuyim. He will reciterelevant chapters of Tehilim andagain blow the shofar, followed bythe recitation of the moving AnaBeKoach prayer.

Rav Abuchatzeira will thenenter the tziyun, and after spend-ing long minutes lighting candles,will begin reading the names ofthose in need of shidduchim, care-fully enunciating each one in aheartfelt plea.

At the conclusion of thetefillah, Rav Abuchatzeira davens:“Let it be His Will that our tefillotare accepted by the Holy Throne,and the donors whose names weread now will merit mercy and sal-

vation and to quickly establish abayit ne’eman beYisrael, among allof Klal Yisrael in need of a yeshuah.”

The tomb of Rabi Yonason benUziel has special meaning for thiscause, as the great tanna, who stud-ied under Hillel the Elder and wroteTargum Yonason, was believed tohave never married and understandsthe pain of those who are single andthe importance of pleading on theirbehalf.

The Gemara says that he was soholy that if “a bird flew over hishead when he was learning, it wouldbe burnt up.”

A donation to this unique proj-ect does more than give the child, orsibling or friend in need of a shid-duch an opportunity to benefit froma proven segulah. It is the fulfillmentof the mitzvah of Pidyon Shvuyim,of which the Rambam states, “Thereis no greater mitzvah…”

HURRY!!! TO PARTICIPATE, CALLYAD L’ACHIM AT 1-866-923-5224OR SUBMIT YOUR NAMES ON-LINE AT WWW.YADLACHIM.ORG



76

A FEW

INTRODUCTORY WORDS

The import of the following essayis that throughout Jewish history Torahlearning has always been of preemi-nent importance: “And you shall studyit day and night.” Yet at the same time,the normative role of the man has beento earn a living to support his family,and only a small elite of scholars hasstudied full-time.

The purpose of this piece is notpolitical. It supports full-time learningwhen appropriate and takes no posi-tion on issues such as government aidto Chareidi families and the like. Itspurpose is simply to provide a Torah-based and historically informed per-spective on a Jewish man’s obligationsto learn Torah and to support his fami-ly, and on the interplay between theseobligations.

The essay is based primarily on ashiur by Rabbi Mordechai Zilber, theStutchiner Rebbe. Rabbi Zilber hasbeen delivering a series of shiurim de-lineating the path of Chasidism. Thesehave been transcribed, and RabbiMoshe Weinberger, mara d’asra ofCongregation Aish Kodesh, Wood-mere, NY, has been giving shiurimbased on those transcriptions.

The essay below is a rendering ofsuch a shiur combination. The tran-scription of Rabbi Zilber’s shiur andthe audio recording of Rabbi Wein-

berger’s rendering are available at yu-torah.org. (Rabbi Weinberger reviewedthe essay and gave his approval.)

The essay begins with a quotefrom the Ramchal’s Mesilas Yesharimstating that everyone, from a full-timemaster of Torah to a person working ata lowly profession, can attain the high-est rank of being a Chasid, ‘pious.’ Itgoes on to state that the historical ap-proach of Chasidism was that, exceptfor a small elite, every Jewish man isexpected to go to work. In fact, thiswas not unique to Chasidism, but itwas the generally accepted viewpoint,with the significant exception of thatof the Vilna Gaon, and it was his ap-proach that had a profound effect uponthe Jews of Lithuania.

THE VALUES OF TORAH

LEARNING AND SUPPORT-ING ONE’S FAMILY

The Ramchal writes in MesilasYesharim (Chapter 26):

The proper path of piety for a per-son whose occupation is Torah learn-ing is not the same as the proper pathof piety for a person who must work asan employee, nor is it the same as theproper path of piety for a businessman.

Also, in regard to all other detailsof a person’s dealings in the world,each approach requires its own waysof piety.

This is not to say that pietychanges, for without a doubt it remainsequal for each person - its purpose al-ways being that he give pleasure to hisCreator. But when circumstanceschange, the means that lead to the goalmust also change.

A person who must engage in alowly profession can be as pious as aperson who never ceases learning. Asthe verses state, “Hashem has madeeverything for His sake” (Proverbs16:4), and “In all of your ways knowHim, and He will straighten yourpaths” (ibid. 3:6).

Piety is not the exclusive provinceof Torah scholars or of fulltime Torahlearners. A working man - even some-one involved in a lowly occupation -can be as pious as a person who learnsall day. Hashem expects every Jew, re-gardless of what he does, to become atzaddik, to know Hashem.

Nevertheless, there is a hierarchyof values, and all Torah authoritieshave always agreed that the highestideal is for a person to make every ef-fort to learn fulltime. As the Maarivprayer states, words of Torah “are ourlife and the length of our days, and wewill study them day and night.”

Thus, when a boy sets out uponhis path in the world, he should betrained to learn fulltime, provided thathe has the ability to do so. As ourSages said, “I set aside every profes-sion in the world and I only teach my

SPECIAL REPORT



77

son Torah” (Kiddushin 82a).In this generation, there is an ad-

ditional benefit of learning Torah full-time. In an era when going out into thestreet and being in the workplace ischallenging to one’s Yiddishkeit, it iswonderful if a person can stay in thebeis medrash just to save himself.

The question is what criteria aman must fulfill in order to learn full-time. Every situation is different andmust be judged individually, taking in-to account all of a person’s circum-stances.

First, a man must clarify whetherlearning fulltime is something meantfor everyone or whether it is restrictedto rare, gifted individuals who have thecapacity to learn intensely - and, if so,whether he possesses those qualifica-tions.

Second, he must take into accounthow his decisionwill affect his wifeand children. Willfulltime learningcause strife in thehome?

Third, all Torahauthorities agreethat a man is respon-sible to support hisfamily, to which endit permits him to in-terrupt his Torahlearning. As the ke-subah states, “I” -the husband - “willsustain and supportmy wife.” Does itsuffice that he live alife of deprivationand, G-d forbid, de-pend on charity? Ormust he strive toearn a normal liv-ing?

A man’s re-sponsibility to sup-port his family isstated in the kesub-ah. It is the way thatG-d created us, andit is how the Jewishpeople have lived forthousands of years.In the order of cre-ation, there is a giverand receiver. The

male is the giver and the female is thereceiver. There must be a very goodreason to tamper with that.

First, it is simple common sensethat a man can’t neglect his family andallow them to suffer and be hungry.

Second, if a man does not earn aproper income, a tense atmosphere iscreated between him and his wife. Asour Sages said, “A man should takecare to (have sufficient) grain in hishouse, for there is fighting in the homeonly regarding matters of grain”-i.e.,monetary issues (Bava Metzia 59a).

And third, if the children are hun-gry and feel that their needs are not be-ing met, he cannot educate them prop-erly, and his entire authority is under-mined. Conversely, when children seethat their father accepts responsibilityfor the family, they grow up healthyand normal Jews faithful to the Torah.

And that affects the future generations.Throughout all of history, Jews

lived with the awareness that the fatheris in charge. It was always obvious thathe is the one who has to provide for hiswife and children.

In regard to fulltime learning, ourSages said that “many acted like Rab-bi Yishmael” - who advised people tocombine learning with work - “andsucceeded. But those who conductedthemselves like R’ Shimon bar Yochai”- who praised fulltime learning - “didnot succeed” (Berachos 35b). Fulltimelearning was not a path for the generalpopulation.

Yet nowadays, there is a percep-tion that the ideal and even the obli-gation of every man is to learn Torahfulltime. There are neighborhoods inIsrael where if a man leaves kollel togo to work - even if he remains in



78

the field of Torah by becoming arebbe - he is no longer considered tobe G-d-fearing, and his childrenmust attend a different school.

Sometimes, because a man doesnot work, his seventy- or eighty-year-old father - possibly a Holocaust sur-vivor - must continue working to sup-port him. One does not need to cite theChumash, Gemara and Rambam todemonstrate that this is the opposite ofG-d’s will.

In all generations, only an elitefew - the rabbis and judges - learned

fulltime. Sometimes they received astipend. Everybody knew that theywere great Torah sages and would sup-port them with great joy.

In some cases, their wives ran ashop to earn money, often from thehome. And even those who learnedfull-time - including great Torah schol-ars - worked for a few hours during theday, helping their wives with the mer-chandise or the accounting.

In all of Hungary, Germany andPoland, only such men learned all day.

This was the approach of the

Chasam Sofer, who was king of all ofHungary and beyond, and that was theapproach of Rabbi Yonasan Eibeshitz,who was the king of the areas of Bo-hemia and Czechoslovakia.

This was also true among the Se-fardim. They kept an original form ofYiddishkeit that came from the time ofthe Beis Hamikdash and even earlier.Therefore it was obvious to them thatalthough everyone must learn as muchTorah as possible, learning all day andnot working was only for rabbis andjudges.

This was also the view of the Cha-sidic rebbes, who were among thegreatest Torah leaders. In the mid-nineteenth century, the Tzanzer Rov(author of the Divrei Chaim) wrotethat “the majority of the gaonim of ourtime are from the circles of the Cha-sidim. These include the gaon, R’Yitzchak Meir of Warsaw (the Chid-dushei Harim) and the gaon, R’ Men-achem Mendel of Lubavitch (theTzemach Tzedek). And R’ Meir ofDzikov (the Imrei Noam) was verypenetrating.”

The Chasidim respected the ideaof learning fulltime, and converselythe Lithuanian gedolim agreed that aperson is responsible to support hisfamily. The path of Chasidism is thussimilar to the paths of the ChasamSofer and other gedolim.

Yet nowadays, there is a beliefthat all men should be learning full-time. Moreover, in many cases, thosewho learn fulltime learn less thansome working Jews did in previousgenerations.

My father told me that my grandfa-ther was part of a chevra shas, and thatas such he went through Gemara anumber of times. The members of thisgroup got up between three thirty and aquarter to four every morning. Theylearned for a few hours, went to themikveh and davened. Then they went towork, after which they davened Maarivand learned for another hour or two.

Today in some neighborhoods, thewomen run around at 7:30 in the morn-ing getting the children ready for school,taking them to the bus stop or doing carpool, running off to work, while theirhusbands who are learning in kollel arestill asleep. At 8:30, the husbands walkaround in their pajamas, rubbing their



79

eyes, knowing that all they have to do is go downstairs and inthe shtiebelech they’ll find a minyan at nine fifteen.

There was never such a thing in the history of the Jew-ish people - or, for that matter, in the history of the world.My father told me that no one in Europe got up after six o’-clock unless he was sick, and then people visited his homeafter shul to see if everything was ok.

The idea that fulltime learning is meant for the massesdid not exist in earlier generations. Rather, it began with theview of the Vilna Gaon, who placed tremendous emphasison learning Torah all day. And since in Lithuania most of thepeople followed the way of the Vilna Gaon, they emphasizedfulltime learning. But even then, prior to the Holocaust, inall of Lithuania there were at most 3,000 students learningin the yeshivas.

The Vilna Gaon opposed Chasidism, as did his follow-ers in Lithuania. However, his view regarding fulltime Torahlearning was not a disagreement with Chasidism, but a viewthat was not shared by other gedolim, including those whowere not Chasidim.

Related to that, the kollel system came into being: theconcept that people should sit and learn the entire day, andthat money should be raised to support them to do so. Thiswas a Lithuanian innovation that had no precedent in history.

The broader and older historical model is that while asmall elite of the rabbis and judges of Israel learn fulltime,the rest of the Jewish people work to support their familiesand learn when possible. And both pathways lead to the samelevel of “piety,” as defined by the Ramchal, for “in all of yourways know Him, and He will straighten your paths.”

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger is mara d’asra of Congrega-tion Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and mashpia of YeshivaRabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan.

Rabbi Mordechai Zilber, the Stutchiner Rebbe, is one ofthe most prolific and original thinkers in the Chasidic worldtoday.

The transcriber and editor, Yaacov Dovid Shulman, maybe reached at shulman-writer.com.

Dear Dr. D,I have been suffering from migraines and TMJ pain

since I was a teenager. I know I am a strong grinder andhave been told that I have heavy jaw muscles. I have triedeverything from face exercises with warm compresses tonight guard appliances custom made by my dentist to pre-scription headache medications, and I am still seekingsomething that will work. I recently heard about the use ofBotox for my condition. How does that work? Can it workfor me?

- Heavy Jaw

Dear Heavy Jaw,Botulinum toxin is a manufac-

tured injectable medication usedtherapeutically to reduce thestrength of targeted muscle tissues.World famous for its beneficial ac-tion of perfecting wrinkles of theskin, Botox has a plethora of addi-tional therapeutic benefits in medi-cine and dentistry.

Botox can be used for a num-ber of dental therapeutic proce-dures that can relieve pain in thosepatients that have been searchingfor relief for years. For patientslike yourself who are sufferingfrom Temporomandibular JointDisorder (TMD) and facial pain, the use of Botox can bebeneficial in relieving pain. When applied to a number ofmuscles of facial expression and muscles of biting, Botoxhelps to relieve muscles stress and brings welcome relief tothose who have had much prior trouble getting relief.

The Temperomandibular Joint, commonly known as theTMJ, is located on both sides of the head, at the point wherethe jawbone meets the skull. The TMJ is used during talk-ing, eating, swallowing, and other everyday activities. If this

joint becomes displaced or is overworked through excessiveteeth grinding, a person may suffer severe tensionheadaches, as well as sharp pain in the jaw and face. Botoxrelieves jaw tension by affecting the muscles’ abilities to en-gage in the powerful and often unconscious movement ofthe jaw that produces headaches and pain.

You are not alone. It is estimated that up to 80% ofadults have some form of TMJ pain or disorder and wouldbenefit from treatment. Over the years, there have beenmany treatments used to treat these disorders. They rangedfrom the fabrication of custom night guards, the use of or-thotics to psychological therapy. Drug treatments such asanti-inflammatory agents, non-narcotic and narcotic painmedications, muscle relaxants, and even antidepressants,have all been used by dentists in the never ending search tohelp their patients with TMJ pain.

The Botox alternative treatment for TMJ disorders andjaw tension is usually quick, and effective. A non-surgicalprocedure, Botox injections are administered in a dental of-fice and treatment requires no hospital stay. Most patientsexperience noticeable improvement within one or two daysof their first treatment, although relief can take up to a week.The benefits of the Botox injections can last for up to fourmonths.

Only the areas injected with Botox will be relaxed.Botox treatment for TMJ therapy does not travel and will not

affect anywhere else in yourbody. The injections are main-ly in the temporalis, frontalisand masseter muscles. Addi-tional sites may be injectedwith the Botulinum toxin, de-pending on the severity of theheadaches and jaw pain. Notonly will Botox relieve TMJand jaw tension for many pa-tients, the injections ofteneliminate headaches, as well,that result from teeth grinding.In addition, in cases of severestress, it can even minimizelock jaw.

A dentist trained in neuro-muscular disorders has theknowledge and training to identify and treat facial asymme-tries caused by muscle stress and imbalance. Utilizing in-depth knowledge of the head and neck region together withaesthetic skills of symmetry and proportion, the aestheticdentist can utilize neurotoxin treatment, and help some seri-ous disorders that have been left untreated for many years.

Sincerely,Dr. Steven Davidowitz



84

Dear Bubby,I promised myself I’d never write

to any advice column, as I’m not acomplainer and I hate reading otherpeople’s problems. Nonetheless I’mwriting to you because I’m fed up andreally need to vent. I’m a single male inmy mid 30’s and I’m positive that Ispeak for the masses when I say thatI’m sick and tired of being called“picky!” If one more concerned indi-vidual accuses me of being too picky Ican’t be held responsible for my reac-tion. Just for the record, I don’t haveunrealistic expectations. I’m not look-ing for the perfect person, and I don’tthink the grass is always greener. I re-cently went out with someone threetimes and realized she wasn’t for me;the repercussions were painful. Every-one made me feel like I was insane fornot proposing to her, like I had provenhow picky I was because I ended thingswith her. I’m expected to give everyonesufficient explanations as to why eachdate doesn’t end in marriage, and if myreasoning doesn’t resonate with themthen I’m the crazy one who’s way toopicky and demanding! Oh, and nowthey started adding a new one to therepertoire. “I must have a fear of com-mitment!” Don’t people realize howhurtful and infuriating these commentsare? Do they really think they are offer-ing insightful advice when they suggestwe stop being so selective?! Honestly,if I don’t feel a connection with some-one and I can’t envision spending therest of my life with her, am I expected tomarry her? I believe it is a responsibleand mature decision to end a relation-ship that doesn’t have a future. Just be-cause I’m single doesn’t mean I’m des-perate. I shouldn’t have to go out with

every girl that is redt to me simply be-cause we are both single. When I dareto turn down a suggestion, the looksand comments I am met with are de-meaning. “Don’t you think at your ageyou should at least give it a try?” Or,“you know no one is perfect!”

Bubby, what really provoked me towrite to you was overhearing a conver-sation between some of my siblings.They seemed to be analyzing what inthe world could be wrong with me tostill be single! I wish people would stoptrying to place blame on the singles forbeing single and instead recognize thatnot everything is in our control!

Y.W.

Dear Y.W,Your frustration is completely un-

derstandable. Being single in your 30’sis difficult in and of itself, and all ofthe unwanted feedback you’re receiv-ing is certainly exasperating the situa-tion. All too often people’s good inten-tions fall short and are misinterpretedas offensive and annoying. Unfortu-nately, when people don’t know whatto say, instead of keeping quiet theytend to say all the wrong things. Noone in your position is asking for theopinion of others and yet time and timeagain you are on the receiving end ofadvice nonetheless.

Unfortunately, we cannot changethe actions of others; the only controlwe possess is our own reactions to oth-ers. What you must keep in mind is thatpeople do mean well, their commentscome from concern and care and lovefor you. While their words may upsetyou, remember that they aren’t meantto hurt you. When we want the best forsomeone and we think the best of them,

it is hard to understand why they aren’tin a committed relationship. We tend totheorize and come up with all kinds ofpossible explanations for their bachelorstatus in order to make sense of it in ourminds. Of course you’re right and weshould stop trying to figure it all out,since it is in the hands of Hashem andnot always in the control of the single.But when you are met with these un-wanted comments, rather than get yourblood boiling, try to keep calm with theknowledge that it all comes from agood place and no one means to causeyou any hurt. It is because they viewyou as a desirable guy and it is hard tounderstand why you are single. So ac-tually, the need to make excuses for youis a compliment in disguise; although Irealize it doesn’t appear that way.

Another important thought thatmust be mentioned: Comments thatare coming from individuals who havemore experience, such as people thatare older and married, are generallyfilled with an insight that only experi-ence can offer. Some of the commentsyou describe are based on the realitythat married people possess. Once youare married you realize with claritywhat is truly important in a partner andwhat is meaningless. You realize thatit’s not all roses and sunshine and thatit takes sacrifice, faith and commit-ment to make a marriage last. Thesefundamental marital philosophies aresometimes reconstructed and offeredas advice such as “don’t be too picky”or “don’t think the grass is alwaysgreener.” Sometimes you really doneed to take a leap of faith and jumpin, as time slows down for no one.

Love,Bubby

Dear BubbyIf you would like advice from Bubby send your letters to:

Bubby, c/o Country Yossi Family Magazine, 1310 48th Street, Suite 304, Brooklyn, New York 11219or Fax to (718) 851-2510 or email [email protected]

SINGLE SUCCESS

HEALTH & ADVICE



85

The consequences of physi-cal inactivity are stagger-ing. Adult (and childhood)obesity/overweight leveslcontinue to increase: 68%

of all adults are obese or overweight.It is more difficult today to create

an active lifestyle. People are less ac-tive due to technology and better masstransportation.

Sedentary jobs have increased83% since 1950; Physically active jobsnow make up only about 25% of ourworkforce. That is 50% less than 1950.

Our average work week is longer.Americans work 47 hours a week - 164more hours a year than 20 years ago.

Extra weight costs us physicallyand financially.

Obesity costs American compa-nies $225.8B per year in health-relatedproductivity losses. The averagehealthcare cost exceeds $3,000 perperson annually. An obese employeecosts employers an additional $460 to$2,500 in medical costs and sick daysper year.

The consequences and problemsfrom our overweight society are sober-ing. However, we can all makechanges. Moving for 30 minutes a daycan change your life for the better.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

IMPROVES QUALITY OF LIFE

Do you want to add years to yourlife? Or life to your years?

Feeling your best boosts your zealfor life!

The American Heart Associationrecommends 30 minutes of moderateactivity, but three 10-minute periods ofactivity are as beneficial to your over-all fitness as one 30-minute session.

This is achievable! Physical activitymay also help encourage you to spendsome time outdoors. Sunlight on yourskin helps your body produce vitaminD, which brings many added healthbenefits.

Here are some reasons why phys-ical activity is proven to improve bothmental and physical health.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY BOOSTS

MENTAL WELLNESS

Regular physical activity can re-lieve tension, anxiety, depression andanger. You may not only notice a “feelgood sensation” immediately follow-ing your physical activity, but mostpeople also note an improvement ingeneral wellbeing over time during theweeks and months as physical activitybecomes a part of your routine.

Exercise increases the flow ofoxygen, which directly affects thebrain. Your mental acuity and memorycan be improved with physical activity.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY IMPROVES

PHYSICAL WELLNESS

Stronger immunityIt enhances your immune system

and decreases the risk of developingdiseases such as cancer and heart dis-ease.

Reduced risk factorsBecoming more active can lower

your blood pressure by as much as 4 to9mm Hg. That’s the same reduction inblood pressure delivered by some anti-hypertensive medications. Physical ac-tivity can also boost your levels ofgood cholesterol.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY PROLONGS

YOUR OPTIMAL HEALTH

Without regular physical activity,the body slowly loses its strength,stamina and ability to function well.And for each hour of regular exerciseyou get, you’ll gain about two hours ofadditional life expectancy, even if youdon’t start until middle age. Moderateexercise, such as brisk walking, for aslittle as 30 minutes a day has theproven health benefits listed above aswell as:

• Improves blood circulation, whichreduces the risk of heart disease

• Keeps weight under control• Helps in the battle to quit smoking• Improves blood cholesterol levels• Prevents and manages high blood

pressure• Prevents bone loss• Boosts energy level• Helps manage stress• Releases tension• Promotes enthusiasm and opti-

mism• Counters anxiety and depression• Helps you fall asleep faster and

sleep more soundly• Improves self-image• Increases muscle strength, in-

creasing the ability to do otherphysical activities

• Provides a way to share an activi-ty with family and friends

• Reduces coronary heart disease inwomen by 30-40 percent

• Reduces risk of stroke by 20 per-cent in moderately active peopleand by 27 percent in highly activeones

• Establishes good heart-healthyhabits in children and counters theconditions (obesity, high bloodpressure, poor cholesterol levels,poor lifestyle habits, etc.) thatlead to heart attack and stroke lat-er in life

• Helps delay or prevent chronic ill-nesses and diseases associatedwith aging and maintains qualityof life and independence longerfor seniorsSo why not see for yourself? Once

you get over the inertia and find cre-ative ways to fit physical activity intoyour life, we think you’ll agree that theeffort to get moving is worth it!

The Price

of

inacTiviTy

HEALTH & ADVICE



86

There exists a mentality,even among some whoshould know better, likethe respected popular his-torian Rabbi Berel Wein,

that any one of us can, and evenshould, second-guess the attitudes anddecisions of Torah luminaries of thepast.

In that thinking, for instance, theopposition of many Gedolim in the1930s and 1940s to the establishmentof a Jewish state was a regrettable mis-take. After all, the cavalier thinkinggoes, a state was in the end estab-lished, and in many ways it flourishes;so the Gedolim who opposed it musthave been wrong. And we should ac-knowledge their error and impress itupon our children with a nationalisticcommemoration of the day on whichIsrael declared her independence.

None of us, however, can possiblyknow what the world would be like to-day had Israel not come into being.What would have happened to the Eu-ropean survivors of the Holocaust whomoved to Israel? Would they have lan-guished in the ruins of Europe andeventually disappeared instead? Re-built their communities? Emigrated tothe West? Would Eretz Yisrael have re-mained a British mandate, become apart of Jordan, morphed into a newArab state? Would Jews have beenbarred from their homeland, toleratedby those overseeing it, or perhaps wel-comed by them to live there in peace?Would there have been more Jewishcasualties than the tens of thousandskilled in wars and terrorist attackssince Israel’s inception, or fewer? Isthe physical danger today to the mil-lions of Jews in their homeland lesseror greater?

Would the widespread anti-Semi-tism that masquerades as anti-Zionismhave asserted itself just as strongly asnow? (A recent ADL survey revealedthat Jews are hated by 87% to 93% ofthe populaces of North Africa andMiddle East, and that the most widelyheld stereotype about Jews is that they“are more loyal to Israel” than theirown countries.) Or would Jew-hatredhave been undermined or attenuatedby the lack of a sufficiently “sanitized”mask?

I don’t know the answer to any of

RetRoactive

PRoPhecyBY AVI SHAFRAN

CONTROVERSY



87

those questions, of course. Neither,though, just as obviously, does anyoneelse, no matter how wise he may be orconversant with the facts of history. Forwe are dealing here not with history, butwith retroactive prophecy. And that’ssomething no one alive possesses.

Yet some people, understandablyuncomfortable with even theoreticallyimagining an Israel-less world, sermo-nize as if they do know the unknowable,as if the very fact that a state of Israelexists means that those who opposed itsestablishment were misguided.

Please don’t misunderstand. Everysane and sensitive Jew today supportsIsrael’s security needs, and appreciatesthe fact that we can freely live in or vis-it our homeland; and that the state andits armed forces seek to protect allwithin the country’s borders.

And more.We are makir tov for the good that

previous governments in Israel have infact provided Klal Yisrael, the supportit has given its religious communities,yeshivos, Bais Yaakovs and mosdoschessed.

None of that, though, need comealong with an abandonment of respectfor great leaders of Klal Yisrael whofelt that a different path to Jewish re-covery from the Holocaust would havebeen wiser. Many of those leaders, ofcourse, once Israel became a reality,“recalculated,” as our GPSs do attimes, and accepted the state, evencounseled participation in its politicalprocess. But they were adjusting to de-velopments, not recanting their judg-ments, which were based on their per-ception that a secular state would, atone point or another, seek to adverselyaffect its religious citizens. A percep-tion, it should be noted, that has beenborne out by numerous policies andactions, from yaldei Teiman and yaldeiTeheran to the agenda of the Lapids,pä re et fils.

The Gedolim who lived during theHolocaust, too, have been subjected toretroactive prophets’ harsh judgment.Those who counseled Jews to remainin Europe, in the hope that politicaland military developments would takea different turn than they tragically didare blithely second-guessed. Here, too,none of us can know with surety the“what-ifs?” or even the “whys?”

Not to mention that Gedolim arewise men, not prophets. Their guid-ance in each generation, which theTorah itself admonishes us to heed,does not assure us of any particularoutcome. It is based, though, on theirsublime connection to Torah, and thusmust be of paramount importance tous. It’s odd how few would think ofdisparaging an expert doctor or lawyerwhose best advice, following the pre-scribed protocol, led to a place the pa-tient or client didn’t envision. Even ifthe outcome was unhappy, one would

say, the advisors did their job. When itcomes to Gedolim, though, some waxjudgmental and condescending.

And it’s not an armchair issue.There are implications to disparagingthe decisions of the true Jewish leadersof the past. It sets the stage for what, inour contemporary self-centered, blog-sodden and audaciously opinionatedworld, recalls the true prophet’s phrase“each man acting according to what isright in his own eyes.”

And the navi is not lauding thatstate of affairs.



88

C O N T R O V E R S Y

TODAY’S TOPIC: Social Anxiety

Keep Climbing:I’m an 18-year-old bachur dealing with social anxiety. I’ve been going to a ther-apist for a couple months already. Social anxiety is not my only issue. I’m alsovery insecure and have no friends. I’m not really looking for advice, since I’mgetting that already. I’m asking if anyone has any personal stories of how theyovercame it.

To Be or Not To Be:I used to be terrible. I was not able to speak with anyone other than family.What worked for me was forcing myself to go over to random people and starttalking about something. And over time I gradually learned that people are gen-uinely interested in what I had to say. Slowly but surely I overcame it (I now talktoo much). You can do it too!

Business1:You would be surprised, but many people whom you may think are so confi-dent, are really covering up for what’s lacking inside. Very often I also feel un-comfortable when I’m around a lot of people and I tend to feel very self-con-scious. I have a strange way of dealing with that, but it works! I find somethingin the other person that would make them uncomfortable. For example, if I weresurrounded by a group of girls in school that are intimidating, I would noticemessy hair on one, a dirty spot on another’s sweater, etc. It’s not so nice but it’sprivately thought and for some reason it makes me feel better about myself.That said, don’t ever let anyone convince you that you aren’t worth anything.Insecurity is terrible because you block out all your strengths, all the good thingsyou’ve ever done, and all that you’re capable of doing. I know; I’ve been theretoo. My own insecurities landed me in a difficult position that was hard to get outof. It isn’t worth it. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself how wonder-

ful and special you are!

-Just throw away the cigarettes!-Just concentrate and pay attention in class!-Just stop eating and go on a diet!-Just stop biting your nails!-Just go get a job and you’ll be able to pay the rent!-Just don’t be so picky and you’ll get married!It’s not always as simple as it seems.Keep climbing, I’m glad to hear you’re doing something about your situationand getting yourself real help. I wish I had some good tips for you. The onlything I can suggest is, give yourself time. Change happens slowly. Keep climb-ing, keep climbing.

Mercury:Although I never suffered from social anxiety, I did suffer from general anxietyand phobias which led to panic attacks. It randomly started when I was 22 andI was already in shidduchim. I actually once had a panic attack on a date. I wentto a therapist but it didn’t really help much till I was put on the right SSRI. Oncethe meds built up into my system it seriously felt like all my racing “what if”thoughts just took a nap! They didn’t go away completely, but they didn’t makeme feel overwhelmed either. And once I was able to work out my issues I wasable to go off the meds. Depression and anxiety are very much linked togetherand treating one helps treat the other.

Bless You:I suffered from anxiety for about 2 years, at which time I saw a therapist andtook medicine for around 6 months (which I was hesitant to take, but my Rabbirecommended I take).Number one, the most important thing to do is daven. Reading the words withan Artscroll Interlinear Siddur helps instill an understanding of, and feeling for,the words which you say every day. The words of davening and Tehillim can helpyou feel closer to Hashem, and slowly build you up.Number two, try to involve yourself in organizations which do chessed for oth-ers, or even look for ways to do chessed on your own for others. There are manypeople out there (older people, disabled people, etc) who need help. When youhelp others and exert yourself for them, it can develop your self-worth.

Golfer:When we hear of someone who has a problem that we’re blessed not to have,or that we’ve already managed to overcome, it’s always tempting to say, “Justget over it already!”



89

Number three, when you aren’t davening or helping others and youneed time to relax, use your time wisely by reading educational matters (suchas history, sciences). This will make you wiser to understand more about how theworld works.Another thing you can try to do is travel to another city or Israel, to grow there.

A change of scenery also can help you get out of a stagnant situation.

Keep Climbing:My class just had a barbecue with my teacher in a park a couple of minutesaway from my yeshiva. I was self-conscious. I was just walking around the wholetime, hardly saying a word. I have no connection to anyone in my class. I felt re-ally bad about myself and the whole time was worried that someone would in-sult me. Some guys were having races. I was racing with 3 other guys who areconsidered nerds. We started, and as I was racing I heard some guys laughingfrom behind me. I was sure they were laughing about me. I think they thoughtof me as a nerd. I’m not going to camp this year because of my anxiety. Whydoes Hashem challenge me so much? He’s given me so many problems. Some

of these issues I’ve been having since kindergarten!

The Goq:Dear Keep Climbing,My life up until about 10-12 years ago was a miserable existence. I felt utterlyand completely alone. When forced to go to social functions I tried to avoid con-tact with people as much as possible. I always preferred being alone to beingeven with a few people. I was only at ease when I was by myself.Then I started therapy. You said you’ve been in therapy a couple months. For meit took several years of therapy to realize I was a worthy human being and de-serving of having a happy and complete life. I have been on social anxiety med-ication about 8 years now. I once attempted to go off them for one summer, butthat was a huge mistake. You have a lot to overcome but I feel that by workingwith a therapist you trust you can get through this rough stage of your life.You have a lot of hard work ahead of you, but you can overcome the low self-esteem and anxiety. I wish you well on your journey.

Business1:Wow. You’re really feeling bad about yourself. You feel like you were born aloser and you’re destined to remain one for the rest of your life. But that’s notso! And by seeking advice, that’s not weakness; it’s the greatest sign of strength.Your short height could be one of the reasons why you feel inferior. But manysuccessful people were short. It didn’t take away from their quality of life. In re-gard to children, genetics have a funny way of working out. I know many peo-ple who are short and have tall kids. Being shy can actually be a virtue. So manyloud people get themselves into hot water by saying the wrong thing at thewrong time. You obviously think before you speak. Trusting people is hard, es-pecially once you’re exposed to people who have let you down. I would suggestfirst putting your feelings to paper and that would be good practice for gettingit out of your system. Another idea is to imagine yourself in a few years fromnow. Where would you like to be? You want to be happy! The more you thinkabout it and the more you turn it into a goal, the easier it will be to go aboutachieving it.

Business1:Keep Climbing, it really sounds like you have it hard. It’s probably difficult toget up in the morning and face a new day, especially when you spend it in schoolfeeling that others are looking down at you. I can’t imagine exactly what you’regoing through. However, I’d like to offer a suggestion. Every day, make up yourmind to do one thing that you’re normally scared of. It can be however smallyou want, but each small goal makes a difference. I just read a good quote.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on!

Keep Climbing:Thanks for the support! Life is pretty tough right now. I don’t really have theenergy to deal with it. I wonder what Hashem was thinking when He decided tomake someone like me who’s really short, really quiet, has a ton of social andemotional problems, social anxiety, not a single friend, extremely low self-es-teem, etc. I don’t even know why He created me if He knew I would be such a

loser.Business1:

Actually, not everybody wants a loud boy. Such boys are often very arrogantand no girl wants that. Most girls want to have a husband who will listen to themand respect their opinions. They don’t want to be drowned out. Secondly, loudand confident are not necessarily synonymous. Some people are really loud andtotally not confident. Others are confident and not loud. The more important partis the confidence. I know you feel a lacking in that area, but I feel like that’s ateenager’s way of getting to know themselves. And if you will allow yourself toopen up to somebody, no matter how hard it may be, you’ll gain the confidenceyou deserve. Make a list of your virtues and things that you have going for you.Take pride in that! You’re here for a reason! The world wouldn’t be completewithout you! I’m not putting down your feelings of inferiority and telling you tojust let it go, because I know exactly how it feels. It’s hard work to build your-self up, but it’s definitely possible. You’re right that life so often feels unfair. Itseems that way because bad things happen to us. Since we’re human, those badthings get to us and get us down and hurt and angry. We perceive bad as what-ever doesn’t work out for us. But it really isn’t that way. Nobody, and I repeatnobody, has a perfect or fair life! What is a struggle for somebody else is easyfor you. And there’s always somebody who’s jealous of what you have, believe

it or not.

Keep Climbing:I feel like the only way I’m going to get a good shidduch is if I’m loud and con-fident. My mother said short people are usually loud and funny to make up fortheir shortness.

Business1:Keep Climbing, many people have such questions. I do, at least. And I wish therewere answers. I had a really hard year too with friends and other things and Ican assure you of one thing. You will definitely come out a better and strongerperson because of the hard times that you’re having. Bill Gates was consideredthe biggest nerd when he was in school! Hashem knew what He was doing whenHe created you because He saw what you can become. You still have your wholelife ahead of you. Marriage, children, job/learning and hopefully wherever youend up you’ll be successful and happy. Each day of our lives is a learning expe-rience. We need to take lessons from everything in order to become better peo-ple and at the same time not allow certain things to bring us down. You neverknow where people end up. Those who don’t befriend you and see your virtues,often don’t end up in a position to look down at others. Try to believe in your-self and know that although times are hard, you mean the world to some peo-ple. One day, you’ll have a family of your own and you’ll see that they will nev-er be able to imagine life without you.



90

roel’ we recognize how much love Hashemhas for every “Ish vo’ish hayisroeli.” As heputs it, it brings us to high spiritual levels!

Take, for instance, the outgoing presi-dent of Israel, 90-year-old Shimon Peres,standing ‘proud’ next to the Pope and Ashafleader, Abu Mazen, who had just signed a uni-ty pact with Chamas, terrorist killers of ourpeople. And they prayed together for‘PEACE.’ And that’s after the entire govern-ment and people of Israel closed the door ofnegotiations in Abu Mazen’s face. But the Jew,Peres, is such a dreamer about ‘peace,’ that ittwists his brain.

There is no doubt that his prayer, togeth-er with theirs, was an abomination! Yet there isno doubt that Hashem loves Peres - the Jew.

The next day, after this ‘prayer,’ our threeYeshiva boys were snatched up by Chamas ter-rorists! The fathers and mothers of these boysare glowing with Jewish holiness, yet theynow need rachmei shamayim to see their holysons alive.

Yeshiva World News reported that theKabbalist, Reb Yaakov Addis, was rushed tothe hospital after fasting with aggravation, ashe said, “That prayer of those three peoplegave Chamas the power to succeed in kidnap-ping our sons!”

And Peres addresses the Conference ofJewish Journalists by still praising AbuMazen, as the best peace partner we ever had.

Actually, we all agree with him, AbuMazen is the ‘best.’ But we should now agreethat therefore Rabbi Meir Kahana’s book, ti-tled, “They Must Go” is really the only solu-tion.

Let me end with the words stated by theJew, PM Benyamin Netanyahu, to the Pope,just as he was about to board his plane, as heleft our holy land.

Netanyahu was rigged with a mike, but itseems only I noticed what he said to theCatholic leader. He said, “Thank you so muchfor coming. WE will pray FOR YOU!”

How did these words, defining the pow-er of ‘THE JEW’ (The voice is the voice ofYaakov) come to the mouth of Netanyahu?

I met him in a dream last week. We wereeating together at an outdoor cafe, and I askedhim, “Did you prepare those words?”

He said, “No, they came out by them-selves!”

That, my friends, is the koach of a yid.That’s who THE JEW is!

Let’s hear good news.Speak to you on Country’Yossi’s

Catskill [email protected]

Who isthe Jew?

By Dov Shurin

first roll call, I heard the officer ask, “Is DovTzvi Shurin here?”

I answered “I’m Dov, not Dov Tzvi.” Itdidn’t help. On record at the army and police,until this very day, I’m Dov Tzvi! Weird, butsimply unexplainable. (Personally, I believethat by serving my country as a soldier, I be-came a ‘full’ Bera Hersh.)

In 1992, standing in front of the WesternWall, I had a communication with my belovedG-d, Hashem, and I felt sprinkles of ‘LOVE’coming down upon me from Above. The Mas-ter of the Universe gave me the gift of love -Ahavas Hashem. And from then until this veryday, I treasure that love and thank Him for al-lowing me to always feel it, through all the upsand downs of life, because it’s so great to loveHashem.

Then I witnessed the influence of oneJew on other Jews.

In 1999 I made an album titled “Madlyin Love with the One Above.” One day I metRav Amnon Yitzchok in the dining room of theAvenue Plaza Hotel. I gave him a copy andsaid, “The chidush of this album is that a Jewsays straight and powerfully to Hashem, “Ilove You!”

It took maybe a half year until the wholecountry was singing, “Hakadosh Baruch Hu,anachnu ohavim Otcha!” (The Holy One,Blessed be He, we love You!) I knew I was theone who opened the channel of AhavasHashem!

But now let’s go deep into understandingwho is ‘THE JEW.’ For this I take you to theSefer Imrei Elimelech from the Rebbe, RebElimelech of Grodzisk, who had about 50,000chassidim!

He writes at the beginning of ParshasYisro, that the Jew, every Jew, comes fromsuch a high place, that even the MinisteringAngels are jealous of us! We were crownedwith the name ‘Yisroel,’ which has the samenumerical value (541) as the first letters of theTen Spheres of Creation. From our title, ‘Yis-

As I was growing up, I remem-ber that there was an ongoingcontroversy as to Who is aJew. I heard it from afar, didnot study the opinions or the

halachos, but I understood that it was tanta-mount to the classification of an Israeli citizen.This was important in our Israeli society, sothat if a Rabbi was asked to perform a wed-ding among the non-religious population, hecould be sure that he was permitted to makethe required bracha at the ceremony, and thateach participant would know that their life’spartner was in fact Jewish.

But this article begins after all argumentshave been resolved. And I will explore: what isTHE JEW!

I’m Jewish. Prove it? Fine. My motherwas Jewish. Her mother was, and on and on.

In fact, her father was the renownedGodol b’Torah, Harav Yaakov Kamenetskyzt’l, but that’s actually irrelevant because mybeing Jewish is dependent on my mom’smother’s Jewishness, al’h.

So I have spent over sixty years trying tounderstand for myself exactly what kind ofperson “THE Jew” is!

I personally have expressed all my self-research in song. Each realization is capturedthrough song, because I have a musical ne-shama. So that’s the way I record my experi-ences.

With all this said, I must add that somethings in the life of “THE JEW” are unex-plainable. For example, my name is Dov al-though I was named after my great grandfa-ther, Reb Bera Hersh Heller, (Dov Tzvi) theMashgiach of Slabotka Yeshiva in Lithuania,but my zeideh zt’l held that it’s better for a per-son to have only one name so he could moreeasily understand “THE JEW,” through him-self. I was therefore named only ‘Dov.’

I moved to Israel in 1984, and was calledto the army in 1990 at age 40 (just a 12-daycourse on how to assist in times of war). At the

I S R A E L



92

Country Yossi Family Magazine SUMMER 2014

93

MARAN HARAV OVADIA

RABBI YEHUDA HEIMOWITZ - ARTSCROLL

REBBEJOSEPH TELUSHKIN

MY REBBEADIN STEINSALTZ

POSITIVE WORD POWER FOR TEENS

CHANA NESTLEBAUM - ARTSCROLL

GEDOLEI YISROEL VOL. 2

MATTIS GOLDBERG - FELDHEIM

LIVING KIDDUSH HASHEM

RABBI SHRAGA FREEDMAN - ARTSCROLL

TURNING JUDAISM OUTWARD

CHAIM MILLER - KOL MENACHEM

TOUCHED BY THEIR FAITH

RABBI YECHIEL SPERO - ARTSCROLL

GARDEN OF EMUNAH

RABBI SHOLOM ARUSH

WILL, FREEDOM AND DESTINY

AKIVA TATZ - TARGUM PRESS



94



95

98

IMPORTANT NOTEThese ratings are sup-

plied by the 7 major Jewishmusic outlets listed here,based on their actual salesover the last thirty days in theGreater New York area.

The list does not reflecttotal sales of any CD. It doesnot include sales in otherstores, cities or countries (Is-rael!).

The list is designed to bean indication of what’s cur-rently popular in New York.

Although every effort hasbeen made to ensure fairnessand accuracy, this list is pub-lished for entertainment pur-poses only and Country YossiFamily Magazine is not re-sponsible for any inaccuraciesor misrepresentations.

1. Pischu Li - Simcha Leiner - Aderet2. Kolot - Yakov Shwekey - Aderet3. Simchas Hachaim 3 - Aderet

1. HASC 27 - Nigun2. Klal - Shimmy Engel - Nigun3. YBC 6: Modeh Ani - Eli Gerstner - Sameach

1. Pruzansky 4 - Nigun2. YBC 6: Modeh Ani - Eli Gerstner - Sameach3. Kolot - Yakov Shwekey - Aderet

1. Klal - Shimmy Engel - Nigun2. Shades of Green 4: Varemkeit - Y. Green & S. Gestetner3. Matana L'Chasuna - Ruvi Banet

1. Hasc 27 - Nigun2. YBC 6: Modeh Ani - Eli Gerstner - Sameach3. Hooleh - 8th day - Aderet

1. Kolot - Yakov Shwekey - Aderet2. YBC 6: Modeh Ani - Eli Gerstner - Sameach3. One Day More - Maccabeats - Sameach

1. Pruzansky 4 - Nigun2. YBC 6: Modeh Ani - Eli Gerstner - Sameach3. Eitan Katz: Live in Jerusalem - Aderet

SUMMER 2014

99

IMPORTANT NOTEThese ratings are sup-

plied by the 7 major Jewishmusic outlets listed here,based on their actual salesover the last thirty days in theGreater New York area.

The list does not reflecttotal sales of any DVD. It doesnot include sales in otherstores, cities or countries (Is-rael!).

The list is designed to bean indication of what’s cur-rently popular in New York.

Although every effort hasbeen made to ensure fairnessand accuracy, this list is pub-lished for entertainment pur-poses only and Country YossiFamily Magazine is not re-sponsible for any inaccuraciesor misrepresentations.

1. Bechatzros Kodsheinu - Aderet2. Fit Yid - Aderet3. Changed - Malky Giniger - Aderet

1. HASC 27 - Nigun2. That's My Nanny - Rachel's Place - Aderet3. Fit Yid - Aderet

1. That's My Nanny - Rachel's Place - Aderet2. Changed - Malky Giniger - Aderet3. Beyond Pathways - Ashira Talent Camp

1. Bechatzros Kodsheinu - Aderet2. Changed - Malky Giniger - Aderet3. Fit Yid - Aderet

1. HASC 27 - Nigun2. Changed - Malky Giniger - Aderet3. Fit Yid - Aderet

1. HASC 27 - Nigun2. Bechatzros Kodsheinu - Aderet3. From Outside the Camp - Chofetz Chaim Heritage

Foundation - Aderet

1. Changed - Malky Giniger - Aderet2. Beyond Pathways - Ashira Talent Camp3. That's My Nanny - Rachel's Place - Aderet

SUMMER 2014



104

Throughout history, goingup to the mountains for thesummer has always been amomentous occasion.While many of the circum-

stances and situations have changed,many have remained the same. Thepacking, the schlepping and the schtip-ping everything in are all part and par-cel of this time of year.

In the past the vehicle of choicefor transporting your brood to thecountry was the station wagon. It wasthe most suited vehicle for such a task.It drove like a truck and was bigenough to fit in all the kids, the cloth-ing, the appliances and then some.

Another thing about the stationwagon was its cool design. In thosedays having a station wagon wasn’tonly a practicality - it was a statussymbol as well. If you were a really‘shtoddy’ person you had the totallyawesome station wagon with the pan-eled fenders. Oy was that a car!

Another special thing about goingup to the country with a station wagonwas the super cool roof rack that camewith it. The roof rack of a station wag-on was just like a spoiler for a sportscar, only cooler. Besides for lookingpretty, the function of the roof rack wasto hold boxes tightly in place on theroof while traveling up the Seventeen.

Many stacks of cardboard eggboxes filled with clothing and linenwould be nicely piled up on the roof ofthe station wagon and secured in placewith an old gartel. The weight of theboxes would actually improve the rideof the station wagon, helping it to bet-ter hug the road. It also made turnseasier as the vehicle would always leanin the direction of the boxes and viceversa.

It wasn’t until you got onto thehighway and started flying at a whop-ping fifty miles an hour that you wouldnotice anything go wrong. As soon asthe needle of the speedometer wouldhit fifty-two people all along the high-way would start pointing at you. Thefirst instinct was always to yell atthem, calling them anti-Semites forstaring. Then the honking would start.At which point you would honk backeven louder.

At that point the people drivingclosest to you would start switchinglanes to get away from you. This usu-ally made you feel even worse. Not on-ly do these anti-Semites stare and honkat you, but now they don’t even want todrive next to you. These are the worstkind of anti-Semites ever.

It would usually be about ten tofifteen miles before you realize thatthe staring, the honking and theswerving were because your egg-boxvault had ripped open and all yourworldly possessions were flyingacross the freeway. So you do whatevery sane driver would do on a high-way. You hit the brakes and screech toa halt. You then have your wife andkids wave their hands out the windowto signal your next move to your fel-low motorists. You then stick yourhead out the window, twisting it onehundred and eighty degrees around.You throw the car into reverse andstart backing up.

After about ten minutes of bob-bing and weaving, of swerving andtwisting around cars, trucks, tractorsand trailers you finally find yourself ona stretch of highway that is nicely dec-orated with your undergarments. Allfive doors of the station wagon simul-taneously swing open and your ten

kids all run out and start franticallygrabbing their things off the hot blackasphalt.

A pile-up like you’ve never seenstarts up right behind you and yourfamily of scavengers, yet you have noidea why. All you do is look around theroad while mumbling to your wifesomething about some idiot that iscausing a pile-up for some reason.There are people now backed up all theway to the Brooklyn Bridge for nogood reason at all.

You stick your head into the hatchin the back and dig through the piles ofthings you packed, the things that havenow been nicely flattened by the chil-dren sitting on them. You reach in deepdown and pull out a box of big, black,fifty-gallon garbage bags and start dis-tributing them to the kids. Each childgrabs one and starts filling it with any-thing he can grab off the road.

Everyone is grabbing and baggingand frantically tossing and throwingthings as fast as they possibly can. Thegoal is to retrieve all the lost goods be-fore the State Police arrive and dragyou all off to jail. It’s not until you’vefilled about twenty garbage bags ofclothing that you notice another stationwagon flying towards you in reverse.Ironically they also have a stack ofripped-open egg boxes strapped totheir super-cool roof rack. The driveryells out of the window, “Have youseen any clothing on the road?”

Chaptzem is a heimishe bloggerthat authors the Chaptzem Blog, themost popular heimishe web-site. TheChaptzem Blog has been quoted manytimes in the mainstream media and isviewed by thousands daily.

www.chaptzem.blogspot.com

The STay Shun Wagon

H U M O R



107

Top Of The Line

My granddaughter wassitting on my lap as I readher a bedtime story.From time to time, shewould take her eyes offthe book and reachup to touch mywrinkled cheek.She was alternatelystroking her owncheek, then mineagain.

Finally shespoke up, “Zaydeh, didHashem make you?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” I answered,“Hashem made me a long time ago.”

“Oh,” she paused, “Zay-deh, did Hashem make metoo?”

“Yes, indeed, honey,” Isaid, “Hashem made you justa little while ago.”

Feeling our respectivefaces again, she observed,“Hashem’s getting better atit, isn’t He?”

S.F.Flatbush

Hostess WithThe Mostess

My daughter met a love-ly French girl in seminarywho came to stay with us fora few weeks. I showed her toher room, asked her to makeherself at home and to pleaseask if she needed anything.

She approached mesoon after to ask for somepepper.

“Pepper?” I asked.“Would you like black orwhite?”

“Toilette,” she said.R.G.

Five Towns

Analyze ThisMy mother is always trying to un-

derstand what motivates people, espe-

cially those in her family. One day sheand my sister were talking about onerelative’s bad luck.

“Why do you suppose shechanged jobs?” she asked my sister.

“Maybe she has a subcon-scious desire not to succeed.”

“Or maybe it just hap-pened,” said my sis-

ter, exasperated.“Do you know youanalyze everythingto death?”

Mother wassilent for a mo-ment. “That’strue,” she said.“Why do youthink I do that?”

R.C.Boro Park

It’ s A MiracleMy sister landed a

good job with an ac-counting firm, and af-ter a while she got agenerous raise. Theday she found outabout it, her husbandpicked her up fromwork, and on the wayhome they stopped forice cream. As theycontinued home, mysister blurted out, “Is-n’t it hard to believe Ihave a job that paysthis much money?”Just then, she went totoss the last of her ice-cream cone out thewindow. However, thewindow was closed,and it smacked againstthe glass. Taking in theview of chocolate icecream now drippingdown the window ontoher skirt her husbandcalmly replied, “Yes, itis.”

D.T.Flatbush

Send your true anecdotes, embarrassing moments, bright say-ings, real life experiences, or any interesting incident relating toJewish life in America to: COUNTRY YOSSI MAGAZINE, 131048th Street, Brooklyn, New York 11219. All printed submissionswill receive free tapes or another valuable prize. Winners shouldbring legal I.D. PRIZES WILL NOT BE MAILED

e-mail: [email protected]

Tradition... Tradition!A Rabbi took a new job at a long-standing shul. Dur-

ing davening, when it came time for Shema, half the con-gregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half thatwas seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, andthe ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up. TheRabbi didn’t know what to do. His congregation suggestedthat he consult a 98-year-old man who was one of the orig-inal founders of the shul.

The Rabbi, hoping the elderly man would be able totell him what the actual minhag of the shul was, went to seehim.

The Rabbi asked, “Is the minhag of the shul to standduring Shema?”

The old man answered, “No, that is not the minhag.”“Then the minhag is to sit during Shema,” said the

Rabbi.The old man said, “No, that is not the minhag either.”Then the Rabbi said to the old man, “But the congre-

gants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whetherthey should sit or stand…

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, “THAT is theminhag!”

H U M O R



108



109

Ok ladies - get those rollsof quarters ready. Sum-mer vacation is here. Nomore screaming at thekids to do their home-

work. No more waiting for the bus. It’stime to relax!

You know - I remember going upto the country as a kid. My motherpacked a few dishes (those are platesyou don’t throw away after you finishusing them), some clothes, and wetook a “hack” up. There was one phonefor the entire colony in the main house,hardly anyone had cars, you never leftthe place for two months and all thekids played together all day - who everheard of day camp in the country?

Today, it’s a whole differentgesheft. People shlep up everythingbut the kitchen sink. We don’t needvans - we need eighteen-wheelers!!

We shlep window fans, oscillatingfans, air conditioners, heaters, portablewashers, bicycles, big wheels, playpens, high chairs, carriages, TVs,VCRs, telephones, crock pots, urns,lounge chairs, BBQ grills, boxes andmore boxes of paper goods, summerrobes, winter robes, terry robes, modelcoats, ironing boards, laundry baskets,mops, brooms and clothes in case it’shot, in case it’s not so hot, in case it’scold, not so cold, a little cold, verycold; and of course housekeepers,cleaning ladies and mothers’ helpers.

But the funny thing is - after allthis packing, the men are still shlep-ping up things each Thursday night forat least another six weeks.

Finally, with the kids sitting onquilts and pillows, we are ready to be-gin our journey. Needless to say - itnever fails - our fist stop is the gas sta-tion to fill up and check the tires andthen to the bank to get some cash.

Now, can someone explain to mewhy the men can’t take care of thesethings the night before we leave or ear-ly in the morning, while we women aregetting together the last minute thingswe forgot to send along in the van?

And what really cracks me up isthe kids asking if we are there yet,when we are only on Ocean Parkwayand the nosh is already gone!

By the time we get up to themountains, Kivi and Tuki are comingout of my ears and I swear I’ll neverbuy another one of their tapes!

Then begins the ordeal of unpack-ing. Now, if you’re lucky, your van ar-rives within the hour and you can getstarted - otherwise, you’re auf gehaktetzuras!

And nebach, our poor husbandsget an inch of space in the broken bot-tom drawer of the chest that neveropens when it rains.

Finally, within a day or two, youbegin to settle down and adjust tocountry life. What exactly does thatmean?

It means Sunday baseball gamesand your husband being depressed allday when his team loses; eating maca-roni for lunch and supper four times aweek; sleeping in the kitchen withyour feet in the cholent pot; bringingup gifts for the kids every Thursdaynight; fighting with friends (??) in thelaundry room if G-d forbid you’re twominutes late in taking your clothes out.(Friends actually dump your clotheson a garbage bag on the floor!)

It means getting a machine inwhich the water just trickles in and youhave to shlep buckets of water to fill itup; getting machines that don’t wringout the clothes (this is an excellent ex-ercise to develop biceps); dryers thatdon’t get hot after using up five pre-cious quarters; being number thirty-four in the goyral after the Nine-days;running out of hot water when you’rein the shower and your hair is full ofshampoo; the unforgettable skunk

odors; politics between friends; shop-ping at Apollo Mall; going to ShopRite and buying enough cases of tunato last you the whole year (there’s nolimit up there); anxiously awaitingyour husband’s arrival on Thursdaynights; anxiously awaiting his depar-ture on Sunday nights so you can getyour bungalow looking normal again;the never ending loshon horah and lastof all, the continuous parade of trucks,bakery, fruit, butcher, pizza, knishes,bathing suits, pocket books, seforim,socks, tichels, belts, shoes, jewelry,toys, sweatshirts, needlepoint - andeverybody runs with the checkbook.

Country life means the men shlepup every week for those hours, only tobe told the minute they arrive, to getback into the car - we women are wait-ing like hungry vultures all farpitzed togo out to eat. After all, we had the kidsa whole week all by ourselves and arefit to be tied.

Let’s face it. After a hard day(we’ll give them the benefit of thedoubt) at the office, the men comehome to a quiet house. They turn onthe air conditioner, go out to eat withtheir friends, shmooze ‘til all hours, tryout the new restaurants - that’s very tir-ing!! Auf mir gezukt!

And let’s not forget the rain. Itusually begins Friday night when wehave our parents or in-laws over andcontinues until the last man leavesSunday night. Everyone is nebachpacked into this little room, getting oneach others’ nerves. Kids are fighting,parents or in-laws are exchanging theinfamous “we needed this vee a luch inkup” look. Mothers are ranting andraving - notice I say mothers. Do youwant to know where the fathers are?I’ll tell you where they are - sleepingpeacefully in the bedroom with thedoor locked.

But in spite of it all, we keep go-ing back each summer. We enjoy theshmoozes with our friends, we enjoysharing meals, we laugh, argue, pokegood natured fun at one another andbreathe in the fresh air. This is all partof country life.

So, have a great summer and en-joy. See you in Shop Rite.

ANOTHER KAYLA CLASSIC

KaylaKuchle f fe l

GOING TO

THE COUNTRY

H U M O R



110



111

Being as passionate about photogra-phy as she is, Devorie Zutler has de-veloped three different photography

workshops. By sharing her love for photog-raphy with others, she is able to help womenand teens explore their hobbies and talents,in a frum environment, for women only.

Devorie Zutler is a noted portrait pho-tographer who has specialized in family andchildren’s portraits for the past 18 years. Af-ter many years of taking pictures of literal-ly thousands of children, she has venturedon to teaching others how to take better pic-tures, both artistically and technically.

1. Her popular interactive Photogra-phy Workshop for Women/ Teens is taughtin a very visual way, using a projector and ascreen to display many different pictures il-lustrating the various concepts that are be-ing taught. Every week, the class is given aphotography assignment.

Each lesson focuses on both the artis-tic aspects of photography, as well as on the

technical; learning digital photography and“demystifying” many features on the cam-era. Many previous students have gone onto become photographers themselves.

2. Private Canon Camera CrashCourse:

Do you own a Canon camera but don’tknow how to use it? Are you feeling lost,but don’t have the time for a full photogra-phy course?

Devorie has developed a workshopspecial for you! This one-on-one workshopwill go through the various functions andmenu on your camera, and you will finallyknow how to use your camera properly!

3. Need help organizing your pictureson your computer?

Are your pictures disorganized, allover your desktop, or still on your memorycard and never even made it to your com-puter because you don’t know what to doafter you snap the picture?

Devorie has developed a two-hour mi-

ni workshop, just for you! Learn manycomputer functions, which will help youget your pictures organized on your com-puter. Learn how to create folders to organ-ize your pictures, select some or all of yourpictures, download pictures from yourmemory card, copy and paste, order printsfrom your pictures, email a picture, andmore!

You will finally be able to organize allthose hundreds of pictures you have taken!

NEW!! This summer, Devorie has de-veloped an exciting 1X workshop activityfor your camp/day camp/bungalow colonyor summer home development up in theCatskills. Learn how to take amazing pic-tures in this exciting, informative and inter-active workshop. See the differences inyour pictures immediately. Call now to re-serve your date!!

Also available:Bunk Pictures in your day campOne-time workshops for your par-

ty/organization/Headstart programs.Please call/email now for more

details. Devorie Zutler

(917) 601-7777

[email protected]

WHAT’S NEW

AROUND TOWNPHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOPS BY DEVORIE ZUTLER



112

ALPHABETICAL ADVERTISER DIRECTORY

A THRU Z/MOTOR VEHICLE SERVICES ......(718) 686-1405 ..................................3

A&V PRIME EXTERMINATOR........................(347) 768-4626 ................................69

AD ART PRESS ..............................................(718) 438-7200 ................................92

ALBERT & SONS............................................(718) 513-4808 ..........................54, 55

ALLSTATE INSURANCE COMPANY .............(718) 859-7900 ..................................8

APEX MOLD REMOVAL.................................(212) 595-3600 ................................79

BATHTUB AND TILE RE-GLAZING...............(646) 256-7097 ................................79

BON APPETITE...............................................(718) 258-4888 ................................50

BONNIES PLACE/KIKAR TEL-AVIV..............(845) 434-2511 ................................30

BORO PARK AUTO BODY.............................(718) 435-5556...............................111

BORO RUG AND CARPET.............................(718) 853-3600 ................................43

CHEESE DE LOX............................................(718) 436-7833 ................................48

CHINA GLATT .................................................(718) 438-2576 ................................22

CHOCOLATE HOUSE,THE.............................(718) 633-8060 ................................38

CHURCHILL FURNITURE ..............................(718) 417-5067 ................................21

COMPUTER LESSONS ..................................(718) 851-2437 ................................47

COTTON CANDY EXPRESS ..........................(718) 633-9436 ................................79

COUNTRY YOSSI............................................(718) 851-2010 ..............................102

CREATORSFINGERPRINTS.COM .................(917) 570-8402 ................................67

D’ROSE LINENS .............................................(718) 854-7269 ................................78

DAVEN FOR ME..............................................(718) 437-8812 ................................61

DELUXE PASSPORT EXPRESS....................(718) 387-5441 ................................27

DEVOIRY ZUTLER..........................................(718) 421-0790 ................................71

DIET FANTASY ...............................................(855) 995-DIET ................................77

DJYITZY ..........................................................(347) 598-6780...............................110

DO-ALL TRAVEL ............................................(718) 972-6000 ..................................1

DR STEVEN DAVIDOWITZ.............................(718) 376-1606 ................................83

DROP SMOKE.................................................(513) 273-7671 ..................................7

DVC DRYER ....................................................(347) 709-7070...............................110

EIS RKOID.......................................................(718) 599-4951 ................................18

ELI GERSTNER...............................................(718) 853-9403 ..............................105

EMERYL BRIDAL............................................(718) 972-1860 ................................73

ERIK SHRAGA HOME REPAIR......................(718) 717-4070 ..............................108

ESTHER WALFISH .........................................(516) 295-7776 ..........................70, 96

EUROPEAN CLOSET & CABINET ................(800) 640-2567 ................................26

FABULOUS ELECTRONICS...........................(718) 436-4777 ................................25

FAMILY HOSE CENTER .................................(718) 871-5233 ................................31

FASTPORT PASSPORT .................................(877) 910-7277 ................................35

FREE MY MILES .............................................(516) 569-3257 ................................32

FRIEDMAN PHOTOGRAPHERS....................(718) 437-4686 ................................94

GALINA’S CUSTOM DESIGN.........................(718) 252-2138 ................................35

GEMACH ROFEH............................................(888) 623-8854 ................................26

GIGATECH ......................................................(718) 444-TECH ..............................37

GILBINS QUALITY NAME TAGS ...................(718) 625-8564 ................................48

GOLDSTEIN PRESS.......................................(718) 252-5685 ................................53

HAIR DESIGN ACADEMY ..............................(800) 944-4966 ................................29

HARRY G. BALDINGER D.P.M.......................(845) 425-8686 ..............................108

HATS PLUS.....................................................(718) 377-5050 ................................92

HI-TECH 2000 .................................................(718) 851-7300 ................................16

HOSTESS INTERNATIONAL..........................(718) 437-6050 ......Inside Back Cover

J DRUGS .........................................................(718) 258-6686 ..................................5

JAMIE BEAUTY SUPPLY CORP. ...................(718) 258-6968 ..................................2

JAP WIGS........................................................(718) 633-0098 ................................33

JEFF REZNIK..................................................(718) 934-8800 ................................81

KAUFMAN’S DESIGN JEWELRY ..................(718) 871-3575 ................................19

KINGS COUNTY AUTO BODY.......................(718) 399-9500 ................................97

KOBY’S TRANSPOTOURS INC. ....................(800) 872-5629 ................................66

KOLLEL CHIBAS YERUSHALAYIM...............(718) 633-7112 ................................13

LEFKOWITZ FINE JEWELER ........................(718) 431-0150 ................................15

LINEN PALACE...............................................(718) 435-8812 ................................39

MATERNICHIC MATERNITY ..........................(718) 258-6193 ................................70

MEAL MART OF AVE M .................................(718) 998-0800 ................................29

MEIR KESSLER,RPA-C ..................................(718) 252-9066 ................................11

MIRIAM LANGSAM LIFE COACH..................(718) 854-3808 ................................47

MOLD PRO......................................................(888) 705-6653 ................................68

MORAH RIVKY PLAY-GROUP .......................(718) 926-9318 ................................52

MOSHE KLEIN ................................................(347) 244-0318 ..............................743

ORGANICER ...................................................(718) 676-4717 ..................................9

OZER NEUMAN OPTICIANS..........................(718) 435-1253 ................................95

PEACEFUL RESOLUTIONS USA ..................(845) 548-7395 ................................12

PEDULLA CERAMIC TILES ...........................(718) 377-7746 ..................................4

POTTERY AND GLASS LAND .......................(917) 744-4681 ................................65

PREMIERE EVENTS.......................................(718) 637-3009 ......Inside Front Cover

QUALITY CARPET..........................................(718) 941-4200 ................................91

RABBI MOSHE MEIR WEISS.........................(718) 983-7095 ................................67

RENAH APPLIANCE REPAIR ........................(718) 694-0900 ................................27

RITA’S ITALIAN ICES .....................................(718) 266-7482 ..................................6

ROSEN REALTY .............................................(011) 972-2540 ................................53

SAM JACOB MAGIC/JUGGLING...................(917) 685-3423...............................110

SHABBOS [email protected] ...................80

SHAKLEE........................................................(718) 851-9478 ................................59

SHMUEL KUNDA............................................(718) 871-0521 ................................49

SILKY LASER .................................................(347) 587-7304 ................................75

SIMPLY ELEGANT..........................................(917) 328-8503 ................................28

SLEEPTIGHT BEDDING.................................(718) 438-3933 ..............................106

SMILING HERBS.............................................(347) 546-2792 ..........................44, 45

STATCARE ......................................................(718) 431-9870....Outside Back Cover

SUPREME HELP.............................................(718) 704-0699 ................................86

SURGICAL SOCK SHOP II.............................(718) 436-7880 ................................24

TABLE PADS...................................................(917) 776-7371 ................................87

THE HEALTH PANTRY ...................................(718) 475-9113 ................................20

THE MIRACLE PITCHER................................(347) 482-4423 ................................51

TOP FLOOR ....................................................(718) 256-1120 ................................73

TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS...................................(917) 988-5800...............................110

VALERO ..........................................................(845) 783-3726 ................................14

VINTAGE GIFTS..............................................(347) 423-1469 ................................63

WILLIAMSBURG SEWING & VACUUM.........(718) 384-0851 ................................34

WOODBOURNE SUPERMARKET .................(845) 434-2402 ................................62

YAD L’ACHIM ..................................................(866) 923-5224................Front Cover

YAGDIL SUPERMARKET ...............................(845) 434-3663 ..........................40, 41

YITZCHAK WEISSMAN ..................................(347) 522-3272 ................................10

YOUR TOP PRIORITY ....................................(718) 853-1576 ................................11

Thank you for mentioning Country Yossi when patronizing our advertisers

cy family mag #193

Documents