Creating Inclusive and Safe

Spaces in Schools for Children &

Families who Identify as Lesbian,

Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and

Queer (LGBTQ)

Kim Simes

Midwest Regional Manager

Early Childhood Conference

UW-Whitewater

April 10, 2015

Introductions

Name

What is your role (teacher, administrator,

etc.)

How long have you been in this role?

When I ask you to describe family, what are

the first three words that come to mind?

About Family Equality Council

Family Equality Council connects, supports, & represents the three million parents who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender & queer (LGBTQ) in this country & their six million children.

We are changing attitudes & policies to ensure that all families are respected, loved, & celebrated including families with parents who are LGBTQ.

We are a community of parents & children, grandparents & grandchildren that reaches across this country.

For over 30 years we have raised our children & raised our voices toward fairness for all families.

Why is a session like this one

important for teachers and

administrators?

Most brand

engagement

is still behind

the times.

The modern

family looks

very

differently

than it did 30

years ago.

The New Modern Family

FR

OM

TO

Weve Seen A Seismic Shift Demographics Pop Culture Society & Technology

The Times Are Changing

3 Million parents who are LGBTQ &

their 6 Million children live in the U.S.

today.

500,000+ LGBTQ couples are

raising children who are adopted

Only 4% of todays families fall into the

Census definition of traditional

There is at least one LGBTQ couple in

93% of counties

92% of Census tracts

*US Census data, 2010

Whats New?

On Feb 27, 2013, respected demographer Gary Gates of the Williams Institute

released a new research brief * that analyzes data sources to provide a clearer

demographic portrait of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT)

parenting in the United States.

Data sources include:

The 2008/2010 General Social Survey,

The Gallup Daily Tracking Survey,

Census 2010,

Census Bureaus 2011 American Community Survey (ACS)

* Research Brief

http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Parenting.pdf

What the Data Reveals

An estimated 37% of LGBTQ-identified adults have

had a child at some time in their lives.

An estimated 3 million LGBTQ Americans have had a

child and as many as 6 million American children and

adults have an LGBTQ parent.

Among those under age 50 who are living alone or with

a spouse or partner, nearly half of LGBTQ women

(48%) are raising a child under age 18 along with a fifth

of LGBTQ men (20%).

What is True about Our Families

Same-sex couple parents and their children are more

likely to be racial and ethnic minorities,

Same-sex couples raising children are four times more

likely than their different-sex counterparts to be raising a

child who is adopted.

LGBTQ individuals and same-sex couples raising

children face greater economic challenges than their

non-LGBTQ counterparts, reporting household incomes

near the poverty threshold.

Childrearing among same-sex couples is most common in Southern, Mountain West, and Midwest regions of the country. States with the highest proportions of same-sex couples raising biological, adopted or step children include Mississippi (26%), Wyoming (25%), Alaska (23%), Idaho (22%), and Montana (22%).

Terminology

LGBTQ*

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer,

Questioning*

Sometimes written as GLBTQ or LGBTQ

GSA

Gay Straight Alliance

Services & Resources

Ask the Experts

The Book Nook

Snap It & Send It

Website

On-line store

Getting People Connected

International Family Equality Day

Pride Events

Families in the Midwest

Family Week

Family Camp

Family Weekend at Gay Days Anaheim

Outspoken Generation

International supermodel, Josephine Skriver

Provided testimony in the 2013 Supreme Court cases

Featured on The Katie Couric Show, in the Huffington

Post, and on NPR

The White House has honored three members of

during the prestigious annual White House event for

Emerging Leaders in the LGBTQ Community

National publications, such as The Advocate and

Cosmopolitan Magazine, have shared stories of the

Outspoken Generation members

Outspoken Generation program has received

significant media coverage, in outlets including Perez

Hilton, Towleroad, Good as You, Joe.My.God, The

Take Away, & CBN News.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJnkp6D3j7chttp://www.familyequality.org/equal_family_blog/2014/04/03/1801/danish_supermodel_josephine_skriver_joins_the_outspoken_generation_programhttp://www.familyequality.org/equal_family_blog/2014/04/03/1801/danish_supermodel_josephine_skriver_joins_the_outspoken_generation_programhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/06/zach-wahls-outspoken-generation-ella-robinson-gay-parents_n_1408703.htmlhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/06/zach-wahls-outspoken-generation-ella-robinson-gay-parents_n_1408703.htmlhttp://perezhilton.com/2012-04-06-zach-wahls-speaks-out-on-behalf-of-the-family-equality-council.T39OHpltbsYhttp://perezhilton.com/2012-04-06-zach-wahls-speaks-out-on-behalf-of-the-family-equality-council.T39OHpltbsYhttp://www.towleroad.com/2012/04/wahlsia.htmlhttp://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2012/04/video-nom-was-looking-to-investigate-kids-of-gay-parents-family-equality-council-did-it-for-them.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+GoodAsYou+(Good+As+You)http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/04/zach-wahls-outspoken-generation.htmlhttp://www.thetakeaway.org/story/277677-growing-gay-parents/http://www.thetakeaway.org/story/277677-growing-gay-parents/http://m.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2013/March/Defining-Moment-Same-Sex-Marriage-Hearings-Begin/

Pearls of Wisdom

The Pearls of Wisdom program is

designed to empower grandparents

and more experienced members of our

community to share their experiences

with other families where the parent(s)

identify as LGBTQ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmS4iOJ0m0Q

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your

classroom, school, program on inclusivity for

a student or families with LGBTQ parents?

Why is it important to have

safe and inclusive

classrooms and spaces,

especially as it relates to

LGBTQ issues?

Its the law!

5 Main Areas where students & families feel

included or NOT:

1. Forms

2. Environment

3. Collected works

4. Language

5. Marketing

Forms

One of the problems: FormsMay Not Seem

Important, Unless the Form Doesnt Fit You or

Your Family!

On the next slide is an example of how

something that seems as simple as a form can

make families with parents who are LGBTQ* feel

as if they dont belong

Forms

One of the problems:

FormsMay Not Seem Important,

Unless the Form Doesnt Fit You

or Your Family!

"FORMS ARE OFTEN A CHALLENGE FOR CHILDREN

WITH PARENTS WHO ARE LGBTQ. THEY CAN BE

ALMOST A DAILY REMINDER THAT MY FAMILY IS NOT

CONSIDERED 'VALID', WHENEVER I HAVE TO FILL OUT

YET ANOTHER FORM THAT ASKS FOR 'MOTHER' AND

'FATHER' INFORMATION. I HOPE FUTURE

GENERATIONS WILL NOT EVEN HAVE TO FACE SUCH

DAILY DOSES OF DISCRIMINATION."

-Lizzy Hurley, Age 19

What do the forms at

your school look like?

What other forms do

you complete that are

not inclusive of all

families?

What can YOU do?

Snap It & Send It!

Environment

Classroom

Lunch room

Play ground

Bathrooms

Hallways

Activities

Buses

Collected Works

Books

Music

Assignments

The Book Nook

Language

Assumptions

Expectations

Validations

Language

Not Ideal

Moms & Dads

Boys & Girls

Husband/wife

Bride/groom

Ideal

Parents

Kids, friends, explorers

Partner/spouse

Couples

Marketing

If you promote outside family events, make

sure they are inclusive for all families

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBC-pRFt9OM&list=PL5xIVbWXv_LmTQg-sekGRL8yCj7ljOm0Ehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DXVtgnAoIQ#aid=P9hqU586m6Y

Forms, Environments, Collective Works,

Language what questions do you have?

Questions for an parent who identifies as part

of the LGBTQ community who has two

children, both whom have gone through early

childhood education and the early years of

public schools?

What do you see as roadblocks for

implementing an inclusive environment in your

setting?

What do you do when you have that inclusive

environment and another parent complains that

they dont want their child exposed to those

kinds of people?

What Can I Do as a Teacher or What

Can I Share with Pre-Service Teachers?

Firsttake the time to look through the Family Equity Councils publications related to making schools inclusive:

Opening Doors

Watch the language that you use

Try to always use partner rather than boyfriend/girlfriend,

husband, wife, spouse important to use partner not just

when talking about people who are LGBTQ*

Be careful of the kidding with children concerning crushes

people who are LGBTQ* often know at a very early age that

they are different

http://www.familyequality.org/_asset/wmr0h2/OpeningDoors2011.pdf

What Else?

Start a Safe Zone Project in your school

Put up rainbows and pink triangles in your

classroom (both are seen as universal symbols of

safety in the LGBTQ* community)

Put up pictures of families that could be viewed as

parents of the same sex

Find literature (at the age level that you are

teaching) which depicts parents of the same sex

How Can I Change the Curriculum?

Make sure to have multiple male/female dolls in many

colors in an area where children would be playing family

(i.e., a dollhouse or Little People)

Think carefully about the songs you sing (lyrics

implying/assuming mom/dad)

Include the families of all children (pictures around the

classroom, discussions at group time, etc.)

Work diligently not to continue gender stereotypes (girls

always do.., boys dont do.. for children whose

parents are LGBTQ* these stereotypes will probably not

be consistent with their experiences)

Some More Ideas

Spend time on the GLSEN (gay lesbian and straight education network) website incredible resources

http://www.glsen.org

Start a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) at your school

http://www.gsanetwork.org/

Visit HRCs Welcoming Schools website

Watch Its Elementary a video which shows school

personnel (from elementary through secondary) teaching

about LGBTQ* issues

http://newday.com/films/Its_Elementary.html

http://www.glsen.org/http://www.gsanetwork.org/http://www.welcomingschools.org/http://newday.com/films/Its_Elementary.htmlhttp://newday.com/films/Its_Elementary.html

What are the next steps for your action plan?

One more?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4aV4rEDD2M

Thank you for your time and the work

you will do to create welcoming

spaces for families like mine !

Contact information:

Kim Simes 608.576.8257

ksimes@familyequality.org

mailto:ksimes@familyequality.orgmailto:ksimes@familyequality.orgmailto:ksimes@familyequality.orgmailto:ksimes@familyequality.orgmailto:ksimes@familyequality.org