Tony Thampi1

The Counseling RelationshipThe Counseling Relationship

Introduction to the Introduction to the CounsellingCounselling ProfessionProfession

Tony Thampi

What is Counseling?

According to the American Counseling Association, counseling is:

“The application of mental health, psychological or human development principles, through cognitive, affective, behavioral or systemic interventions, strategies that address wellness, personal growth, or career development, as well as pathology.”

Tony Thampi

What is Guidance?

“Guidance is a process of helping people make important choices that affect their lives, such as choosing a preferred lifestyle” (Gladding, 2000, pg. 4).

Tony Thampi

What is Psychotherapy?

Traditionally focuses on serious problems associated with intrapsychic, internal, and personal issues and conflicts. It deals with the “recovery of adequacy” (Casey, 1996, p. 175 as quoted in your text).

Tony Thampi

Our FocusOur Focus

While the boundaries between counseling, guidance, and psychotherapy are changing and blurring, we are going to focus our efforts on the application of counseling.

Tony Thampi

Factors that Influence Factors that Influence ChangeChange

The counseling process is influenced by several characteristics that help it become a productive time for the client & counselor. Not all characteristics apply to all situations, but generally, the following help bring about positive results.

StructureStructureSettingSettingStudent QualitiesStudent QualitiesCounselor QualitiesCounselor Qualities

Tony Thampi

Factors that Influence Factors that Influence ChangeChange

Structure.The “joint understanding between the

counselor & student regarding the characteristics, conditions, procedures, and parameters of counseling” (Day & Sparacio, 1980, p.246).

This give form to what the formal processwill look like. Many students come to counseling with no idea what to expect. Counseling moves forward when student and counselor know the boundaries of the relationship and what is expected.

Tony Thampi

Factors that Influence Factors that Influence ChangeChange

Physical Setting.

Counseling can happen anywhere, but the professional generally works in a place that provides -Privacy,Confidentiality, Quiet and Certain comfort

Tony Thampi

S.O.L.E.R.S.O.L.E.R.

When working with a client, you want to send a message that you are listening.

This can be done by being attentive both verbally (responding to the client) and nonverbally.

SOLER is an acronym which serves to remind us how to listen.

Tony Thampi

S: Face the student S: Face the student squarelysquarely; ; that is, adopt a posture that that is, adopt a posture that indicates involvement. indicates involvement.

O: Adopt an O: Adopt an openopen posture. Sit with both feet on the posture. Sit with both feet on the ground to begin with and with your hands folded, one ground to begin with and with your hands folded, one over the other.over the other.

L: As you face your student, L: As you face your student, leanlean toward him or her. Be toward him or her. Be aware of their space needs.aware of their space needs.

E: Maintain E: Maintain eyeeye contact. Looking away or down contact. Looking away or down suggests that you are bored or ashamed of what the client suggests that you are bored or ashamed of what the client is saying. Looking at the person suggests that you are is saying. Looking at the person suggests that you are interested and concerned.interested and concerned.

R: As you incorporate these skills into your attending R: As you incorporate these skills into your attending listening skills, listening skills, relaxrelax..

Tony Thampi

Factors that Influence Factors that Influence Change: StudentChange: Student

Readiness or Reluctance or Resistance.Readiness can be thought of as the motivation

that the student brings into the session. How motivated are they to work? Their interest

Reluctance is generally seen in those students who are referred for help by a third party and are unmotivated.

Resistance is generally seen in those students who are forced into counseling. They bring a motivation to cling to their issues through various sorts of actions.

Tony Thampi

Factors which influence Factors which influence changechange

Student & Counselor Qualities.

Counselors generally like to work with students who are most like them. We are influenced by the physical characteristics of the student. It is important to be aware of how you work with all clients and offer your best work to all students.

Students, depending on culture, initially like to work with counselors who are perceived as experts, attractive, trustworthy.

Tony Thampi

Some Basic PrinciplesSome Basic Principles Each student must be accepted as an Each student must be accepted as an

individual and dealt with as such (the individual and dealt with as such (the counselor does not necessarily approve of counselor does not necessarily approve of all behavior, but still accepts the client as a all behavior, but still accepts the client as a person).person).

Counseling is basically a permissive Counseling is basically a permissive relationship; that is, the individual has relationship; that is, the individual has permission to say what they please without permission to say what they please without being reprimanded or judged.being reprimanded or judged.

Counseling emphasizes thinking Counseling emphasizes thinking withwith; not ; not forfor the individual. the individual.

All decision-making rests with the student.All decision-making rests with the student.

Tony Thampi

Some Basic PrinciplesSome Basic Principles Counseling is centered on the difficulties Counseling is centered on the difficulties

of the client.of the client.

Counseling is a learning situation which Counseling is a learning situation which eventually results in a behavioral change.eventually results in a behavioral change.

Effectiveness in counseling depends Effectiveness in counseling depends largely on the readiness of the student to largely on the readiness of the student to make changes and the therapeutic make changes and the therapeutic relationship with the counselor.relationship with the counselor.

The counseling relationship is The counseling relationship is confidential.confidential.

Tony Thampi

The Initial SessionThe Initial Session

There is always an initial session. It is There is always an initial session. It is during this time both the student and the during this time both the student and the counselor are assessing one another to counselor are assessing one another to see if the relationship will work. It is see if the relationship will work. It is here the subject of the subsequent here the subject of the subsequent sessions will be discussed and sessions will be discussed and determined. determined.

There are several There are several skillsskills which are useful which are useful during this phase of counseling. during this phase of counseling.

Tony Thampi

Gathering Information Gathering Information

Types of Questions:Types of Questions:

OpenOpen—allows the student to answer the —allows the student to answer the question in a free-flowing or narrative style. question in a free-flowing or narrative style. Used when you want more detailed and Used when you want more detailed and elaborate answers. elaborate answers. Tell me how this is working for you?Tell me how this is working for you?

ClosedClosed—this type of question requires only a —this type of question requires only a one or two word response. Usually…Yes or one or two word response. Usually…Yes or No. No. Do you enjoy that type of work?Do you enjoy that type of work?

Tony Thampi

Gathering InformationGathering Information

Types of Questions:

ProbesProbes—a questions which begins with a who, what, where, how, or when.What do you plan to do to complete your project?

Requests forRequests for ClarificationClarification—Asking the student for more information.Help me understand what this relationship is for?

Tony Thampi

A Touchy Subject—TouchingA Touchy Subject—TouchingTouching a client is very Touching a client is very

problematic in today’s problematic in today’s society. Touch society. Touch appropriately is a major appropriately is a major concern for counselors. It concern for counselors. It is a powerful way to is a powerful way to communicate caring and communicate caring and empathy. It can also be empathy. It can also be easily misunderstood, easily misunderstood, misconstrued, and misconstrued, and damaging to the counseling damaging to the counseling relationship. relationship.

Tony Thampi

Some Non-Helpful BehaviorsSome Non-Helpful Behaviors

There are several lists of non-helpful behaviors. Most common among them include: Advice GivingAdvice Giving

LecturingLecturing Excessive QuestioningExcessive Questioning StorytellingStorytelling Asking “Why?”Asking “Why?” Asking “How did that Asking “How did that

make you feel?” make you feel?”

Tony Thampi

Important Skills/Tools for the Important Skills/Tools for the CounselorCounselor

There are several There are several important skills important skills which we will cover which we will cover briefly. Each is briefly. Each is considered a “micro-considered a “micro-skill” which you will skill” which you will need to develop need to develop during the clinical during the clinical sequence of the sequence of the counselor training counselor training program. program.

EmpathyEmpathySelf DisclosureSelf DisclosureImmediacyImmediacyHumorHumorConfrontationConfrontation

Tony Thampi

EmpathyEmpathy

You want to build You want to build the relationship with the relationship with the client through all the client through all the previously the previously mentioned skills. Yet mentioned skills. Yet all these skills will be all these skills will be hindered without the hindered without the use of empathy. use of empathy.

Tony Thampi

EmpathyEmpathy

According to Rogers According to Rogers (1961)…(1961)…

This is the ability to enter the client’s This is the ability to enter the client’s phenomenological world, to experience the phenomenological world, to experience the client’s world as if it were your own without client’s world as if it were your own without ever losing the ‘as if’ quality. ever losing the ‘as if’ quality.

It involves two specific skills:It involves two specific skills:Perception/understanding of what is taking Perception/understanding of what is taking

place emotionally.place emotionally.The ability to communicate your understanding The ability to communicate your understanding

of that to your client.of that to your client.

Tony Thampi

Two Forms of EmpathyTwo Forms of Empathy

Primary Empathy:Responding in such a way that it is apparent to

both the client & counselor the counselor has understood the client’s major themes.

Advanced Empathy:This takes the relationship one step further.

You are exploring themes, issues, meanings, and emotions that are below the surface of what is being shared by the client.

Tony Thampi

Responding Styles Responding Styles

Counseling is often perceived as just focusing on feelings. This is not true.

While counseling helps people work through feelings; how one responds and communicates with others will effect how the counselor responds to the student.

Tony Thampi

Self-DisclosureSelf-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is making oneself known to another person (the client) by revealing personal information.

Counselors self-disclosure is only necessary as it relates to the therapeutic process. Too much self-disclosure hinders the counseling process, while not enough, may inhibit the client from forming a bond with the counselor.

Tony Thampi

ImmediacyImmediacy

This involves a counselor’s understanding and communicating of what is going on between the counselor and client within the helping relationship. There are 2 types:

Relationship immediacy. (Between student & counselor)

“Here & Now” immediacy focuses on some particular event in the session.

Tony Thampi

HumorHumor Humor can have a

positive effect on the counseling process when used properly.

It must be used with sensitivity and timing. It does not demean and is supportive.

A session is not a time to try out a new joke heard at lunch.

Tony Thampi

ConfrontationConfrontation

This is not skill at putting the client down for doing something wrong!!

This is an invitation to the client to look more closely at behavior that is not working or interfering with growth, change, or healthy functioning.

A Challenge…

Tony Thampi

ConfrontationConfrontationBefore you confront someone you want to

make sure the relationship is strong and able to withstand the challenge of the confrontation.

Example: “You have said you want to change this behavior but it seems you keep doing it over and over again. Help me to understand what is going on and how repeating this pattern is helpful to you.”

Tony Thampi

Follow-UpFollow-Up

At times, a follow-up may be scheduled for various reasons including evaluation, research, or checking-in with client.

Follow-ups need to be scheduled so as to not take the responsibility of change away from the client.

Tony Thampi

QuestionsQuestions