copyright 2015, ins$tute of transformaonal nutri$on, inc. 1 · transformaonal nutri$on, inc. 19

Ins$tuteofTransforma$onalNutri$on

Copyright2015,Ins$tuteofTransforma$onalNutri$on,Inc. 1

© COPYRIGHT INSTITUTE OF TRANSFORMATIONAL NUTRITION, INC. | WWW.TRANSFORMATIONALNUTRITION.COM

COACHING MODULE 8


“WHAT IF’S”


WHAT WE WILL COVER IN THIS SECTION

•  How to handle your client not making progress•  How to instill hope•  How to increase motivation•  How to get clients to “buy in”•  How to use conscious expansion to get to the root cause•  How to coach different types of clients•  How to handle your own issues•  How to respond to client complaints




YOUR CLIENT ISN’T MAKING PROGRESS



•  May happen if clients don’t see a readily available solution•  Also when clients aren’t feeling motivated or inspired to change •  Can be a symptom of lack of commitment•  But more often is simply a behavioral manifestation of feeling

discouraged and helpless•  The target changes might be more in line with your expectations

than what the client desires



•  Solution Focused Coaching–  Focuses only on solutions, not their causes–  Looks at the future, not the past–  Focuses on what’s going well rather than what’s not–  Miracle question: “Suppose a miracle happens and your problem is

solved, what would you do?”





•  Solutions focused coaching can help a client who isn’t progressing•  Being confronted with failure is discouraging•  Look for the client’s resources•  Search for solutions rather than focusing on what’s wrong



•  Example:–  A client who is having issues staying healthy

•  Approaches:–  Ask about times in the past when they were successful at this goal–  Explore ways they’ve already been able to achieve this in the past–  This is reactivating a previous successful strategy already in their

comfort zone



•  Choose goals that are realistic for the client•  Have an open mind about what can make a client successful•  Both client and coach will be frustrated if the client can’t modify

their behaviors to reach the goals•  Focus on making realistic and sustainable lifestyle changes





•  Make incremental changes •  Reduces resistance and overwhelm•  Example:

–  Client always feels overcommitted and wants to spend more time with her family

–  You suggest saying “no” to all new commitments–  This may be too much change for the client too quickly–  Need to start with baby steps like including her family in her

commitments or scheduling family time



•  Accept that your clients won’t always achieve their goals•  It’s not your job to make results happen for your clients•  You cannot make someone change•  It’s not your responsibility to solve all your client’s problems•  It is your responsibility to give them the tools to change these

things on their own


HOW TO INSTILL HOPE




HOW TO INSTILL HOPE

•  Holding space for the client’s goals and dreams•  Expectancy and hope are powerful catalysts for change•  Be proactive

–  Establish credibility and hope at the start of a coaching session –  Help them see a vision of their life after they’ve made these changes–  Give them examples of other client successes in making similar

changes so they can see it’s possible


HOW TO INSTILL HOPE

•  Crisis and calamity can be difficult •  Also provide an opportunity to grow and learn•  Viewing each challenge with positive expectation and hope •  Encourages us to see through the difficulty, to the opportunity

on the other side


HOW TO INSTILL HOPE

•  “People need to know you care before they care what you know.”•  Active listening

–  Take the time to understand and empathize before you respond–  Do not respond quickly or go directly to advice giving–  Do not react with criticism and disapproval–  Hope comes from listening and care

•  Expressing compassion, love, and acceptance builds trust–  Each loving and compassionate action, word, and attitude becomes

a seed of hope for the client




HOW TO INCREASE MOTIVATION



•  Habit is more powerful than motivation•  Motivation cannot be given or forced•  Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation•  Values are motivating


HABIT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN MOTIVATION

•  Motivation is difficult due to life’s stressors •  Habit is more powerful•  Create constructive habits•  To develop new habits, repetition is necessary•  Takes 3 months to cement new habits





•  Reconsider your goals–  Is the goal big/small enough?–  What’s the real goal?

•  Example: Wants to lose weight–  Real goal is to be prettier–  Beauty comes from a healthful appearance–  Nothing is more attractive than someone who is healthy and happy–  The weight might not even matter


MOTIVATION CANNOT BE GIVEN OR FORCED

•  Must be internally mobilized•  Personal responsibility

–  Without personal responsibility clients won’t feel responsible for reaching their goals

–  We cannot change people, they must do the work to change –  You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink–  A true mentor, guide, or guru only opens the door – it’s the client’s

choice whether they walk through it


INTRINSIC VS EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION

•  Intrinsic motivation–  Motivation that comes from within–  Doing an activity for the pleasure and satisfaction that comes with doing

the behavior•  Extrinsic motivation

–  Motivation that is external, comes from the environment, rewards, or other people

•  Research in coloring in kindergarten





•  Coaches can affect intrinsic motivation•  Lead by example

–  They’ll trust you more if you’re intrinsically motivated–  And also if your directions to them are in line with your own behaviors

•  Place an expectation on the client for self-initiation, independent problem solving, and decision making–  You’re continually investing in the client’s faith in their own abilities



•  Positive perception of the experience of coaching•  When coaching seems like a drag, completing any of the needed

behavioral changes seems like a bigger drag•  Repeated success creates feelings of self-worth and

accomplishment•  Creates a positive feedback loop



•  Provide more praise, feedback, and information during client “wins” •  The client will learn from each “win” and then use that knowledge to

“win” the next time•  This increases feelings of competence, which increases feelings of

motivation•  Help the client see the helpful things they’re already doing in their

life and point out wins with significance




A FEW LAST TIPS ON MOTIVATION

•  Reach for accomplishments, instead of reaching for end goals•  Notice small wins•  Use micro goals•  Celebrate enthusiastically


HOW TO GET CLIENTS TO “BUY IN”


HOW TO GET CLIENTS TO “BUY IN”

•  Can’t force people to change•  Difference between “buying in” and “motivation”•  Help clients see their pain points•  Hold a vision for their future•  Discuss other alternatives if they don’t make this change




6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UPON THEIR GOALS

1.  Ownership2.  Time3.  Difficulty4.  Distractions5.  Rewards6.  Maintenance



1.  Ownership–  Not “buying in”–  Not owning their goals in coaching



2. Time–  Underestimate how long it will take to reach their goals–  Natural tendency to not plan for obstacles and setbacks–  Optimism-bias of goal setting–  “Everything seems to be taking longer than it should.”





3. Difficulty–  Reaching their goal was harder than they anticipated–  Not invested in change



4. Distractions–  “Things are too crazy right now.”–  People underestimate distractions



5.  Rewards–  Not seeing any rewards for their work–  “Why do my relationships feel harder after doing all of this coaching?”–  Not realizing that self-growth often causes people to outgrow

relationships





6. Maintenance–  “What am I supposed to do, keep working on this forever?”–  Letting go of their coach after they’ve experienced some gains–  Not continuing to see the need for support and good habits in place


HOW TO USE CONSCIOUS EXPANSION TO

GET TO THE ROOT CAUSE


HOW TO USE CONSCIOUS EXPANSION

•  Getting to the root cause of the client’s problems–  Ask probing questions–  Delve beneath the surface–  Understand that the problem is rarely the problem

•  Socratic Questioning–  Do not provide answers, ask questions–  Lead them to their own answers




EXPLORE DEEPER

•  Go deeper than just surface questions•  Go back and connect different pieces of the clients past•  Discuss feelings and emotions•  Connect the emotional thread between the experiences,

questions, and answers


CONSCIOUS EXPANSION TIPS

•  Always use your intuition on when to go deeper•  You will get better with experience•  Listen, listen, listen•  It’s also ok to stop the client for clarification•  Avoid questions that imply an answer

–  Example: “So, it sounds like you were pretty angry?”•  The clients world is unique and deserves to be honored


QUESTIONS TO USE

•  “Can you tell me more about that?”•  “What do you make of that?” •  “Tell me another time in your life when you felt the same way.”•  “That sounds really difficult. How did you get through that?” •  “What was the defining moment of that event for you?” •  “What meaning do you take from that?” •  “What do you think was the most important piece of your

experience?”




QUESTIONS TO USE

•  “Tell me what you see.”•  “Tell me more about that.”•  “How do you feel about that?”•  “What do you see as a challenge with this?”•  “For example?”•  “How else could you handle this?”•  “What is just one more possibility?”


QUESTIONS TO USE

•  “What support do you need to make this happen?”•  “What will you take away from this?”•  “If the same thing happened again, what would you do?”•  “In the bigger scheme of things, how important is this?”•  “What are some possible solutions?”•  “What will you do and by when?”•  “What does that mean to you?”•  “What is stopping you?”


HOW TO COACH DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLIENTS




DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLIENTS

•  3 Types Of Clients1. Struggles to follow your directions2. Follows your directions and doesn’t get the results they want3. Follows your directions and does get the results they want



1.  Struggles to follow your directions–  Low compliance–  Struggles to take action–  Has difficulty implementing your directions–  60% of clients–  Goal: Increase their compliance–  Strategy: Make is SUPER simple



2.  Follows your directions and doesn’t get the results they want–  High compliance, low results–  Doesn’t get expected results despite they’re following your direction–  Help them comply to your directions just a bit more and really

individualize their program and ensure they understand everything–  20% of clients





3. Follows your directions and does get the results they want–  High compliance, high results–  20% of clients–  Prevent burnout and build habits for maintenance


HOW TO HANDLE YOUR OWN ISSUES


INNER CRITIC WORK

•  Self-doubt and self-critique•  Keeps you stuck and static in your coaching business•  Most important factor is caring about your clients•  Imposter Syndrome•  We all have to start from somewhere




HOW TO REDUCE THE INTERNAL NOISE

•  Become still•  Meditate•  Mindfulness•  Visualization•  Clear the energy


CONFRONT YOUR ISSUES

•  Need to become self aware•  Don’t let personal feelings affect the quality of your coaching•  Your issues will affect your coaching unless they are addressed

and brought to the surface


TRUST

•  Trust in yourself–  Trust that you have the knowledge–  Trust that you can help people–  Trust that you can handle whatever arises

•  Trust in the universe–  Trust that things will turn out as they’re meant to–  Trust that you are exactly where you’re meant to be–  Trust that the universe or god has your back




HOW TO RESPOND TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS


RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS

•  Complaint: The coaching isn’t worth the money–  Discuss value and what this means to them–  Coaching isn’t about what happens in the session, it’s about the

changes that happen outside the session –  Personal responsibility–  We cannot change anyone, we can only provide tools for them to use

to change themselves–  Clients are ultimately responsible for their own transformation



•  Complaint: What you’re saying isn’t resonating with the them–  This is a GREAT complaint to have–  Congratulate them for sticking up for themselves–  Ask them if they have a better idea of what resonates–  Check in with your own intuition

•  Is the client in denial about an issue they’re having and being resistant?•  Or is your guidance perhaps just not on point?•  Change it up depending on what your gut says

–  Rephrase





•  Complaint: You always agree with them–  It’s time to check in with yourself and whether this is indeed a habit

•  You’re not helping anyone by blindly agreeing with everything they say•  Often a symptom of people pleasing•  People do not seek out coaching in order to be placated•  There is a difference between people pleasing and congratulating•  Make sure your client understands the necessity to celebrate the awesome

work they’re doing and reaffirming their choices–  Perfectionism of the client



•  Complaint: You always contradict them–  Explain the nature of coaching

•  Coaching is not a friendship or a place to get placated•  Growth happens just outside their comfort zone

–  Explore any defensiveness–  Check in with yourself, is there a better way you can phrase things?

•  Example: “You know that your ex is abusive, why would you talk to him?” verses “So you talked to your ex, how did that go? How did you feel? Do you think that was a decision that served your highest good?”



•  Complaint: You aren’t always available to them–  Be sure that you have your availability outlined in the contract–  Explain that you have multiple clients that need help and support–  Discuss that you are invested in their growth –  Also, that they need to be independent and able, for example

•  Learn how to cook rather than just watching cooking shows or calling a friend who cooks all the time

•  Take the ball and run with it•  Learn to fish rather than being handed a fish





•  Complaint: They’re progress isn’t as fast as X, Y, Z–  Discuss comparison and whether this is an issue in their life–  Discuss expectations and how destructive they can be

•  Discuss the difference between expectation and holding one’s highest vision for oneself in the mind’s eye

–  Discuss “shoulds” and how they must cultivate self-compassion and acceptance to grow from a place of compassion and care



•  Complaint: They want a refund–  Be sure you have a very clear refund policy and stick to it–  Before you go straight to discussing a refund, discuss

•  Why they feel that way•  What’s been going on for them•  If there’s a way you can find a compromise like waiting to finish their

coaching package until they have more time, or working on smaller goals if they feel frustrated



•  Complaint: They can’t make the changes you’re asking of them–  Discuss the vision that they have for their life–  Discuss what changes feel doable to them–  Discuss small incremental changes rather than one big change–  Give them more cheerleading over what they are doing right rather than

just nagging at what they’re doing wrong




SKILLS LAB ASSIGNMENT


SKILLS LAB ASSIGNMENT

•  Freddy complains•  How would you address Freddy’s complaint? •  Hints

–  Goal is too big and broad–  Personal responsibility–  Coaching is a tool which he has to use–  Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation–  Values


END OF COACHING MODULE 8

copyright 2015, ins$tute of transformaonal nutri$on, inc. 1 · transformaonal nutri$on, inc. 19

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