Conscious DisciplineKristine Gramskgrams@iaf-sabis.netAndrea Hartaaldrich@iaf-sabis.net

What is Conscious Discipline? A comprehensive social and emotional

intelligence classroom management program that empowers BOTH teachers and students

Based in current brain research/child development and developmentally appropriate practices

http://consciousdiscipline.com/about/brain_state_model.asp

What is Conscious Discipline? Promotes: permanent behavior changes

in both teacher and students

Goal: provide systematic change in schools

- change from traditional compliance model of discipline to a relationship- based community model

What is Conscious Discipline? Traditional model looks like:

- Rule based- upheld by consequences

- in order to obtain obedience- compliance earns rewards- disobedience earns punishment- persistent disobedience means removal

Tool used in this model: FEAR

Premises traditional model is based on:- It is possible to control others- Rules govern behaviors- Conflict is a disruption of the learning process

What is Conscious Discipline? So why change?!

- Brain research indicates fear is detrimental to optimal learning and brain development.- Both teachers AND students are empowered- Before we can change student behaviors, we must first change ourselves

What is Conscious Discipline?This program empowers teachers with 7 Powers

for Self Control:1. Power of Perception: No one can make you mad without

your permission2. Power of Unity: We’re all in it together3. Power of Attention: What you focus on, you get more of4. Power of Free Will: The only person you can make change

is yourself5. Power of Love: See the best in others6. Power of Acceptance: The moment is what is it7. Power of Intention: conflict is an opportunity to teach

What is Conscious Discipline?Teaches 7 Basic Skills of Discipline1. Composure: become the person you want

children to be2. Encouragement: build school family3. Assertiveness: saying “no” and being heard4. Choice: build self-esteem and willpower5. Positive Intent: creating teaching moments6. Empathy: handing the fussing and fits7. Consequences: helping students learn from

their mistakes

What is Conscious Discipline?Creates classroom climate that models 7

Essential Life Values1. Integrity2. Interdependence3. Respect4. Empowerment5. Diversity6. Compassion7. Responsibility

What is Conscious Discipline?Teaches Students Basic Social Skills1. Anger Management2. Helpfulness3. Assertiveness4. Impulse Control5. Cooperation6. Empathy7. Problem Solving

Becoming Brain Smart Three Brain States1. Survival State- takes place in the

brainstem2. Emotional State- takes place in the

limbic system3. Executive State- takes place in the

prefrontal lobes *This is where we want our students to be!*

Composure Principle 1: Composure is self control in action. It is

a prerequisite skill adults need before disciplining children.

- Self Control is: being aware of your own thoughts and feelings

- Without Self Control you may be turning your life, and power, over to people, events, and things.

For example: - “You make me so mad!” - “Look what you made me do!”

- Self-Control must be priority #1“When you lose self-control, you lose the ability to discipline yourself or your children.

ComposureOut of control adults: Focus on what they don’t want to

happen.“STOP!”

See things from only their own point of view

“You broke the rule!” Would rather punish than teach

“Go to the office!”

Composure Principle #2: Healthy, secure relationships require that

we control our own upsets. No one can make us angry without our permission.

- Whomever you have placed in charge of your feelings, you have place in control of you.

- Upset is not caused by another person, it is triggered by another person

“We see the world not as it is, but through the lens of our judgments about what is desirable.”

ComposureTriggers Categories:

1. Assumed Intent2. Magnification3. Labeling

Skill #1: Changing trigger thoughts to calming thoughts.

- 2 ways to change:1. Calming self-talk2. Refute the trigger thoughts

Composure Principle #3: Start the day the Brain Smart

Way and implement stress redirection activities.

Starting the Brain Smart Way uses activities to:1. Unite2. Disengage the stress3. Connect students to teacher and

each other. 4. Commit themselves to learning

Composure Brain Smart Start

- Unity activities bring everyone together.pledge, song

- Disengage the stress activities involve deep breathing and stretching.

pretzel, balloon, rollercoaster- Connecting activities pull people together through touch or eye contact

handshakes, waving hello- Commitment/ affirmation activities help tap the power of positive thinking

daily commitments

ComposureSkill #2: Reduce Stress 3 Skills of stress reduction are:

- being able to relax- being able to focus- being able to breathe

Composure Relaxation techniques:

- drain- pretzel- balloon - stretching

Focus techniques- saying hello- feeling the heartbeat- body tune up

Activities to Breathe- belly breathing- be a STAR

Composure Principle #4: Your job is to keep the

classroom safe so children can learn. The child’s job is to help keep it safe.

“My job is to keep you safe. Your job is to help keep it safe.”

- Structure: Safe Place

inside.osceola.k12.fl.us

tottreasuresnorthbay.blogspot.com

EncouragementPrinciple #1: We are ALL in this together. Old way of thinking:

- one size fits all- change occurs through getting other to comply- students who do not adhere to rules can be removed without damage to the whole

“Cooperation, not competition, is the cornerstone of evolution.”

“Classrooms an schools need to embrace community…”

“Schools must think of themselves school families…”

EncouragementSchool Climate: the mood or feel of the school

4 key factors that lend to the school climate1. Physical Environment (looks, smells, feels

like…)2. Social Environment (heath of relationships

and interactions)3. School Routines, Rituals, and Rules (what

creates “order”)4. Expectations (belief about how people learn

and change)

Encouragement Routines and Rituals: The heart and soul of school

climate- Routines and Rituals are NOT the same

Routines: establish patterns, add predictability, help regulate, set expectations

- Create routines for as many tasks as possible (attendance, lunch count, snack, transitions, lining up, arrival, dismissal, hygiene- tissues, hand washing, using the restroom, etc)

- Systematically teach routines- picture representations easy for young students to ‘read’

http://www.sharingkindergarten.com/

http://mrsriccaskindergarten.blogspot.com/2012/01/visual-directions-freebie.html

handsonbibleteacher.blogspot.com

do2learn.com

ignitelearningllc.blogspot.com

thecraftrookie.blogspot.com

smilinginsecondgrade.blogspot.com

Encouragement Rituals: Have connections as their goal

- Most important to creating the school family- produce a calming affect

Types of Rituals:- Greeting- School Family Song- Absent child- New Student/Student moving away- Holdays/birthdays

Encouragement

School Family Structures Friends and Family Board/Book

School Family Jobs

Ways to be Helpful chart/book

EncouragementFriends and Family Board/Book Display pictures of children and their families Helps students get to know one another Include your own family Classroom friends (principal, specialists, security,

etc)

School Family Job Board Each child holds a job Jobs should be meaningful and helpful to the

classroom

Encouragement Principle #2: Contributing to the welfare

of others builds self-worth

Skill #1: Meaning Jobs for all (morning message writer, greeter, kindness recorder, visitor greeter, STAR helper, etc)

Skill #2: Service jobs for a school community(keeping playground and school clean, cheering on others, etc)

Encouragement Skill #3: Noticing children’s contributions to others.

Notice strengths- ask students to share their strengths.

Avoid ones that describe the strength as being special.

Make student strengths public Basic Formula:“You ________ so _________. That was helpful!” Steps for Noticing-

1. “You….2. Describe what child did3. Relate how child’s behavior was helpful4. End by saying, “That was helpful!”

EncouragementPrinciple #3: How you “see” others

defines who you are. The manner in which you perceive

others defines who you are. What do you see?

Teacher A – “sees” a child off task. Says “What should you be doing?”

Teacher B – “sees a child who need helps focusing. Says “What would help you to focus or…”

EncouragementSkill #4: The “call for help” perceptual frame. Teachers play a significant role in how children

perceive each other and view misbehaviors. We can teach them that:

- Inappropriate behavior is bad and needs rejection.- Inappropriate behaviors are a call for help

Labeling a child ‘bad’ – 1 step process- Step 1: deliver perscribed consequence

Call for help – 2 step teaching process- Step 1: empower students to respond. *Go to the

victim first!*- Step 2: Use a “call for help” perceptual face. *Ask what

helps the student could use.

EncouragementPrinciple #4: We are all unique, not

special. Specialness prevents people from

feeling connected to one another.

Principle #5: Some forms of praise can be discouraging.

Effective praise relies on describing, not judging

Encouragement Ways praise can be discouraging:

Too general Relies on value judgments Focus on how you feel or think teachings a child to seek approval For only successful/completed tasks; effort doesn’t matter

Noticing children instead of judging: Start with “You…” Describe exactly what you see End descriptive with a tag

Praise is about forcing our judgments of who we think they should be onto our children.

Encouragement is about accepting children for who they are.

EncouragementPrinciple #6: Children need

encouragement, especially when they have made poor choices.

Encouragement is basically a dose of hope. People need hope to feel safe.

AssertivenessPrinciple #1: What you focus on, you get

more of!

Don’t think about a purple alligator!

We must tell the brain what TO do.

AssertivenessPrinciple #2: When you are upset, you are always

focused on what you DON’T want. Skill #1: Pivoting, “About face!” Skill #2: Assertiveness- adults must set limits

respectfully. When you focus on what you want, assertiveness

comes naturally. Many times we fail to give students information on

what TO do We teach others how to treat us.

Doubtful/unsure: invites others to boss and ‘help’ Assertiveness: lets us set boundaries to say no

when appropriate

AssertivenessGoal: to teach that speaking is more powerful than

attacking verbally or physically

You have a right and responsibility to say “No!”

Saying things like “I’m waiting!” or “Line up at the door, ok?” puts students in charge of the classroom- not you.

Assertiveness is a learned behavior. To learn it, you must: Achieve self-awareness Monitor your own thought patterns Teach and utilize assertiveness in all relationships

Assertiveness Principle #3: Passivity invites aggression, aggression

begets aggression, and assertiveness dissipates aggression.

Passivity: Wants to please Longs to be perfect Fear that decisions are not the correct ones

Aggression: Aims to win Uses you-me accusations Speaks for others and acts as mind reader

Assertiveness: Makes straightforward statements Goal is clear communication

Assertiveness Assertiveness clearly tells children what to do so they may

successfully meet your expectations

You cannot be assertive if: You quiz others Think for others Think about what other think of you

Assertive Teachers: Tell children what to do Send nonverbal messages “just do it” with tone Are clear and direct Give children usable information Own and express feelings directly Speak in concrete terms Are conscious of the intent behind the communication

Assertiveness Skill #3a: Assertive commands to individuals

1. At eye level, make eye contact2. State student’s name3. Verbally tell what you want them to do4. Touch student gently on arm5. Use visual cues through gesturing

Skill #3b: Assertive commands to groups1. Use a signal or unifying experience to get the

group’s attention2. Teach an auditory and verbal signal

Assertiveness Skill #4: Tell and Show

If students do not follow an assertive command, they are indicating they need additional support. Step 1: Give assertive command. If

ignored, go to step 2. Step 2: Make eye contact (student makes

contact with you) and say, “There you are!” Step 3: Say “I’m going to show you what I

want you to do.”

Assertiveness Skill #5: I-messages help when frustration sets in.

Indirect expression of emotion attacks children. Direct expression communicates with them.

I-messages are direct expressions. They: Describe the behavior Describe the feeling you are having. Describe a tangible impact of the behavior Describe a different behavior that is helpful.

“I don’t like it when you _____. It ________ because ________. Please _________ instead.”

“When you ________, I feel ________ because _______. Please _________.”

AssertivenessPrinciple #4: Children must learn that they teach

others how to treat them. They must learn to assertively deal with intrusive behaviors.

Students tattle because they don’t know how to solve the problem.

Skill #6: Tattling as a teaching tool. Passive/aggressive tattling: attempts to get revenge

and punish the uncooperative person Tattling out of fear: classroom isn’t safe, do something

about it! Child feels intruded upon: child feels violated and

doesn’t know what to do to fix it.

AssertivenessTattling usually takes on one of three forms

The child feels victimized. Your response: “Did you like it? Go tell ________, ‘I don’t like

it when you ______.” Have them practice once or twice with you first, before

sending them off.

The child witnessed someone getting hurt. Your response: “I am the safekeeper. It’s my job to keep

you safe. I’ll take care of it.”

The child wants to get someone in trouble. Your response: “Are you telling me to be helpful or hurtful?” Many times the child will say helpful. Your response? “HOW

is that helpful?” Have them tell you how they can be helpful instead of

hurtful.