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Conflict Resolution at Work

1. What is Conflict and What are NOT Conflicts

2. Why conflicts arise: Impermanence, Un-satisfaction and Self

3. Concept of Planting Seeds4. Five Ways to Conflict Resolution at

Work4. Negotiation Success5. The Ultimate of Conflict Resolution:

Touch Their Hearts

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Most Important Work Skill

Conflict ResolutionHow to resolve conflicts and

Restore a strained or broken Relationship

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Definition of Conflict

Conflict arises when One person has a Need of another

and that need is Not Being Met

What are Not Conflicts• Disagreements• Differences in Opinion and Thinking• Different beliefs, faiths and values

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Common Conflicts at Work1. Conflicts with Team over

resource allocation, promotion opportunities, work assignment and money

2. Conflicts with customers3. Conflicts with vendors and

contractors4. Conflicts with the industry5. Conflicts with Government6. Conflicts with Media and

Society at large

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OwnershipAccountableResponsibleBlameExcusesDenial Long term suffering

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Work HappinessPeacemaking

Peacemaking is not avoiding or appeasing

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Why Conflicts are always there: The 3 Psychology

1. Impermanence2. Un-satisfaction 3. Self Concept

Emptiness and The Pen

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Life is a Mirror

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Plant seeds with Your Thoughts, Speech and Action

Whatever you want in life, plant the seeds and nurture them in your Everyday life

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The Real Law of Gravity1. Every action produces a similar

result2. The results of every action

increase3. If you never do an action, you

cannot get a result4. Once you have done an action, it

never simply goes away

Je Tsongkapa, Tibet, 600 years ago

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Regardless of who is right or wrong, make the customers feel that they have the right to their feelings…Give Face

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Whenever we force anyone to change, they

either Resist us or Resent us, and as a result they become More Motivated to

Defend their position!

Lesson of the Fist …. Open your neighbor’s fist in 20 seconds …

Methods: Bribe, Force

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Overcome Disagreements with FFF

I understand how you feel

That was exactly how I felt too

Until I found out that …(and turn around)

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How to Win Friends and Win Arguments at the Same Time

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1. Listen Look for the key to their

cooperation Paraphrase (not just

heard)2. See things from their point

of view “Stay calm”? “I understand your

concern” 3. Ask for their input Value it4. Assure them we’ll

operating on win-win

What To Do When People Are Difficult

1. Want to Tell Us Something and Afraid that We don’t Understand

2. Think that we don’t understand the seriousness of their problem

3. Afraid we don’t value their input

4. Afraid we’ll win and they’ll lose

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2 Steps in Conflict Resolution

If Yes, resolve it If No, Negotiate or Manage itMost people avoid steps 1 and 2 as they are afraid to talk to people. They end up gossiping, backstabbing, blocking and being angry and aggressive

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5 Steps in Conflict Resolution 1. Make the 1st Move (be a Peacemaker)

2. Find the Right Time and Right Place3. Begin with ‘What’s My Fault’ No more excusing, blaming or attacking

but sincerity from your heart Get out of your Pride and Self Ego Because everything is coming from us

(everything in this world is empty and void of meaning on its own)

When you’re at peace inside, nothing outside upsets you

Say “I’m sorry, I was only thinking about myself”

Re-examine yourself: what wrong you did

LHL

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5 Steps in Conflict Resolution 4. Listen for their hurt and perspective

• Listen to their emotions• “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow

to get angry”• Hurt people hurt people the most• The people that are the most difficult to love

are also the ones that need love the most5. Focus on Reconciliation, not Resolution• Disagree without being disagreeable, Unity

without Uniformity• When you focus on reconciliation, the

issues become smallerTaxi

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Importance of Tonality

Michael Peak – Voice Going Down

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Negotiation: Resolve Conflicts by Compromising

the Differences

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3 Types of Negotiation1. Hard Negotiation (Win at All Costs)2. Soft Negotiation • Avoid Personal Conflict• Give Concessions to reach amicable agreement• Regret Later• One-time Deal3. Principle Negotiation (Harvard University)• Combination of both Hard and Soft Negotiation• Get What You Are Entitled to1. Separate People from the Problem2. Focus on Interest, Not Position3. Develop Options

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5 Ways to Better Negotiation1. Preparation2. Setting Limits and Sticking to Them3. The Negotiation Table4. Trading5. Closing the Deal

Come from a Strong Position(even if you’re weaker)

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The Negotiation Process1. State your opening offer (higher than your goal

but not too high to frighten them)2. Maintain emotional distance

Come from Strong PositionPause often, especially before concessionKeep your cool

3. Listen actively, especially to body language (call the bluff with eye movements)

4. How to handle hot button issuesExpress anger as your feeling, not ‘You’Resist temptation to make an outburst when you think you’ve won a pointDo not quarrel

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Trading1. Only trade (give up) what you are willing to

give up

2. Always ask for something in return when you give up something

3. Value is in the eyes of the beholder

• Give up something of low value to you but high perceived value to the opponent

4. Aim for win-win

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The Ultimate in Resolving Conflicts

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Conflict Resolution at Work

1. What is Conflict and What are NOT Conflicts

2. Why conflicts arise: Impermanence, Un-satisfaction and Self

3. Concept of Planting Seeds4. Five Ways to Conflict Resolution at

Work4. Negotiation Success5. The Ultimate of Conflict Resolution:

Touch Their Hearts

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Your Trainer Coach Andy Ng• CA with MBA from UK…• 28 years of experience in finance,

HR, sales, consultancy, training and coaching...

• Former Director of Finance, HR & Admin of Allied Telesis Int’l …

• Since 1996, trained over 81,135 people in 14 countries

• Also partner in a global e-commerce business

• Happy Man, Son, Husband & Father (of 3 happy children)…

www.facebook.com/AndyTheCoach

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Get Inspired by me 24/7

www.AsiaTrainers.com www.AsiaTrainers.com www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoach/videos www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoach/videos www.facebook.com/AndyTheCoachwww.facebook.com/AndyTheCoachwww.twitter.com/AndyCoachwww.twitter.com/AndyCoachwww.slideshare.net/www.slideshare.net/

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