conflict resolution
TRANSCRIPT
Conflict Management
Conflict ManagementObjectives
•Understand what conflict and conflict resolution mean
•Understand the phases of the conflict resolution process
•Display rapport-building skills through assertive methods of expressing disagreement and consensus-building techniques.
•Practice strategies for gaining positive outcomes in difficulty interpersonal situations.
Conflict Definition
“To come into collision or disagreement; be
contradictory, at variance, or in
opposition; clash.”
Conflict
Everyone experiences conflict
“The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not
we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them.”
Tom Crum
Dysfunctional messages regarding conflict sent by our culture
It’s ok to have conflict with equals, but not with superiors.
It’s ok to have conflict only when the social structure allows conflict.
Harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal.
Examples of negative and even destructive attitudes and communication patterns that can exacerbate conflict in a relationship.
Avoiding Conflict AltogetherBeing DefensiveOvergeneralizingBeing Right"Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-ReadingForgetting to Listen:Playing the Blame GameTrying to ‘Win’ The Argument
Conflict is normal, healthy, and productive for relationships.
Conflict is inevitable because
People have different personalities, data, beliefs, experiences and viewpoints.
Team members see the needs of the organization differently
They have different responsibilities and interests to represent.
People feel threatened, when they feel blocked from getting what they want, or when they face a risk of losing what they have gained.
WHY CONFLICT IS CONSTRUCTIVE
• It opens up important issues
• It leads to greater clarification and understanding between people
It produces innovative solutions
It enables people to learn and expand their perspective
It encourages meaningful dialogue and communication
It leads to cooperation and greater unity between people or groups
WHY UNRESOLVED CONFLICT IS DESTRUCTIVE
It drains energy and attention from important tasks, productivity, safety, quality, and/or teamwork
It destroys the self-esteem and motivation of others
It polarizes individuals and creates sub groups and cliques
It leads to emotional and personal attacks that create "baggage"
It results in unproductive competitiveness, frustration and anger that gets vented
Causes of Conflict•There is a perceived breach of faith and trust between individuals.
•There is unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an emotional level.
•There is miscommunication leading to unclear expectations.
•There are personality clashes.
•There are differences in acquired values.
•There is underlying stress and tension.
•There are ego problems.
Causes of Conflict
Perceived breach of faith and trust
Causes of Conflict
Unresolved disagreement that hasescalated to an emotional level
Causes of Conflict
Miscommunication leading to unclear expectations
Personalities Conflict
It is the behaviors which conflict, not personalities.
Causes of Conflict
personality clashes
Some people are: While others are:Outgoing, spontaneous, and talkative Introspective, serious, and quiet Intuitive...shoot from the hip Detailed,evaluate, ponder & considerFeeling and emotional Logical and analyticalConcerned for people Concerned for conceptsStructured, ordered, planned Flexible, go with the flow, unplanned
Causes of Conflict
Differences in acquired values
Causes of Conflict
Underlying stress and tension
Causes of Conflict
Ego problems
Causes of Conflict
Combinations of the above
You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Ghandi
Communication patterns that can exacerbate conflict
in a relationship.
Avoiding Conflict Altogether
Being Defensive
Overgeneralizing
Being Right
"Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-Reading
Playing the Blame Game
Trying to ‘Win’ The Argument
Conflict Resolution
Simply means
how you solve conflicts
The goal of a conflict resolution process
• Is to solve problems and find common ground among opposing perspectives.
• Involves recognizing a conflict early on, identifying the implications of the conflict, diagnosing the source, and following through with a plan of action.
Identifying the Benefits of Resolution
Effective conflict resolution digs deep intothe issues to resolve the core conflict andprevent the problem from re occurring.
Resolving Conflict
7 steps to resolving conflict
Step 4
Tell your stories, gain an understanding of the issues
Step 6
Generate solutions and a shared, win-win vision of resolution
Four Styles of Communication
Passive
Aggressive
Passive-Aggressive
Assertive
The Passive Person
“I’m unable to stand up for my rights.”
“I don’t know what my rights are.”
“I get stepped on by everyone.”I’m weak and unable to take care of
myself.”
“People never consider my feelings.”
The Aggressive Person
The other person is inferior, wrong, and not worth anything.
The problem is the other person’s fault.
They are superior and right.They will get their way regardless of the
consequences.They are entitled, and that the other person owes
them.
The Passive-Aggressive Person
“I’m weak and resentful, so I sabotage, frustrate, and disrupt.”
“I’m powerless to deal with you head on so I must use guerilla warfare.”
“I will appear cooperative, but I’m not.”
The Assertive Person
“I am confident about who I am.”
“I cannot control others, but I control myself.”
“I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.”“I know I have choices in my life, and I consider
my options. I am fully responsible for my own happiness.”
“We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”
Situation
Your coworker has just arrived an hour late for a business dinner while traveling. He did not call to let you know he would be detained. You’re annoyed about his lateness.
That’s OK. Shall we eat now?
I’ve been waiting an hour. I would have appreciated a phone call to let me know that you would be late.
That’s OK. (Then you conveniently make an excuse to go back to your room and work before dessert.
Situation
Your coworker Sue continually gives you her work to do. You’ve decided to put an end to this. Now, she just asked you to do more of her work.
I’m kind of busy. But if you can’t get it done, I guess I can help you.
“OK”, you say, and then you tell the boss.
Forget it. It’s about time you do your own work. You treat me like a slave. You’re so inconsiderate.
No Sue, I’m not doing any more of your work. I’m tired of doing both your work and mine.
Situation
Your supervisor just gave you a mediocre annual performance review.
I understand. Maybe the workload should be lighter.
I appreciate your feedback and would like to know how I can do better in the coming months.
I don’t think you like me very much. Maybe I should quit.
In response, you hang your head.
Calm Yourself
What to say or do Why?
Take a deep breath, say "relax Clears thinking, models control
Restore order
What to say or do Why
Take a "Time Out“ Stops the fight, contains the damage
Hear their stories
What to say or do Why
"Help me understand your concern.“ Gathers information, defuses tension
Listen carefully
What to do or say Why
Eye contact, don't interrupt Honors the need to be heard
Generate solutions
What to do or say Why
"How could we resolve this?“ Moves from accusations to solutions
Agree on a solution
What to do or say Why
"Would this work for you?“ Moves to resolution, brings closure
Test for satisfaction
What to say or do Why
"Are you sure this will work for you?“ Assures clear communication
Key Points to Remember Be a model of calm and control
Don't give in to emotional outbursts
Don't assume people are being difficult intentionally
Find a quiet place to resolve conflicts....privately
Set some ground rules for the discussion:
No raising of voices
This is not a debate
Speak only for yourself..."I" phrases
Confront the issues, not the people
Maintain or enhance self-esteem
Identifying the Benefits of Resolution
Effective conflict resolution digs deep intothe issues to resolve the core conflict andprevent the problem from re occurring.
The Importance of ForgivenessIt means accepting that the conflict
happened, accepting and working through
how it made you feel, accepting the
consequences it had, and letting those
actions and consequences exist in the past.
Preventing Conflict
Practice good habits
