conflict management and resolution

Viola Grasso, B.A., M.A.Viola Grasso, B.A., M.A.Lecturer, Continuing Education Lecturer, Continuing Education

Université LavalUniversité LavalManager, Ambulatory Clinics, Neurosciences & Mental Health Manager, Ambulatory Clinics, Neurosciences & Mental Health

McGill University Health CentreMcGill University Health [email protected]@muhc.mcgill.ca

Objectives Understanding Conflict

Definition and PrinciplesWhy it Exists

Knowledge on Styles and TendenciesCommunicating with Different peopleAppreciation of Tools helpful in Managing Conflict

Strategies for Conflict ResolutionDevelop Greater Capacity in Intervening and Dealing:

With “Difficult” PeoplePrinciples of Negotiation

What is Conflict... For you! Talking about conflict....

Draw conflict! Write one word that summarizes conflict!

FIGHT

Definition

Latin : « conflictus »

Primary Sense : combat, fight, a clash, to come into opposition;

Secondary: a state of opposition between ideas, interests, needs, etc.;

A struggle or contest between people with opposing needs, ideas, beliefs, values, or goals

A malaise or disagreement (expressed or not)

ComponentsActors

Protagonists, antagonists, opponents;

RelationshipInterdependence: Need of the other or its resources.

(the greater the interdependence , the greater the risk of conflict)

Proximity: The greater the interactions, the greater the risk of conflict

Issue (X Factor)Dispute, problem(s), target around which we confront.

Negative Image!

Perception is Key

Conflict is inevitable therefore Difficult Conversations are inevitable

Managing Self: Emotional ! Diplomatic grenades do not exist! Emotions are Signals

Their intensity is a measure of the importance of the situation or issue

They allow us to identify our triggers The importance of the relationship

Intuition versus Strategy…

Why Do Conflicts Exist?

Lack of meaning and reference;Confusion, ambiguity, lack of information and

communication, absence of meetings and exchanges; Roles and responsibilities are not clearly defined

(boundaries between positions, tasks, people);Organizational changes (culture, values , processes, work

methods, habits) thus: Change in comfort level, relationships between people, sense

of belonging, loss of power);Unrealistic expectations

Dionne et Miljours, 2001

Favouritism, perceived preferential treatment;Disagreements over objectives to be achieved,

conflicting interests for future direction, on the definition of a problem (s);

Mergers of institutions, services (differences in values , cultures, management styles, ways of doing things, processes, relationships between people, level of influence, flexibility);

Evaluation meeting, performance.

Dionne et Miljours, 2001

Why Do Conflicts Exist?

Fundamental conflict:is a fundamental disagreement on the objectives to be pursued and the means to achieve it.

Emotional conflict:is due to relationship problems that arise in particular by feelings of

anger, mistrust, animosity, fear and resentment.

Advantages and DisadvantagesConstructive:

Clarification of issues that would otherwise remain latent; Stimulates creativity conducive to performance improvement; Carrier of change and progress; Release for emotions and stress; A choice? Allows us to understand others’ needs

Destructive: Diverts energy and may promote hostility; Polarizes groups and deepens differences; Effectiveness and efficiency of work may be affected; Relationships are broken; Unhealthy work environment (employees unmotivated, disengaged and ill).

Observed Behaviours in Conflict0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80%

Passive Resistance

Retention of Infos

Creation of Clans

Systematic Critics

Withdrawal

Demeaning

Critical of Initiatives

Disinformation

Neglect of Info’ Transmission

Obstruction

Verbal Aggression

74%

69%

68%

63%

61%

55%

53%

48%

47%

40%

30%

Circumstantial: Dialogue about a disagreement on what happened, or what

should happen; Good or bad intention; who is right, who is wrong? The Story

Emotional: Deliberation on emotions; Are my emotions acceptable, adequate? Should I recognize or deny? How do I react?

Identity:• The internal debate to decide what the issues are;• Am I competent, responsible; worthy to talk about?• What does this say about me, about us?

Three Underlying Themes - (messages)One cannot not communicate: ! Paul Watzlawick

Marc Cardinal http://www.cba.org/abc/practicelinkfr/nationalarticles

The Intuitive : Moves a lot; Roughly speaking ...; Outlines generally; Needs to: understand the why!

The Pragmatic : • Precisely, exactly, etc..;• Feels lost in uncertainty;• Facts and details;• Needs to know: what and at what time and, then...etc..

Who are we Communicating with?


The Introvert : He does not like long conversations; Go straight to the point;; Need to control: get him to decide, let him feel that he is the one

who will make the decision.

The Extravert: He needs you to be energized, likes to be with others; He thinks aloud; Need to talk: multiply the opportunities for him.



The Rational : Look right into the eyes; Be consistent in your explanations; Go point by point.

Need for logic: set specific deadlines and stick to them!



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Listening ProfilesFACTS

(THINKERS)EMOTIONS (FEELERS)

RELATIONSHIPS (FEELERS)

RULES (THINKERS)

FactsDescriptionsStatisticsDataProofRationalArgumentsWhere, when, how

EmotionsSentimentsClimateReactionsEmotional charge

Sensitive to effects of arguments...What happens between peopleHarmonyWork ClimateNetworkWho is talking with whom (gossip

RulesProceduresStandardsPrinciplesWays of doing doing things...LawsHabitsCustom

‘This is the way it happened..’Studies show that...

‘That does not make sense‘When?’‘When do you want that for?’

‘There were people everywhere watching...’‘I knew this guy..’‘We had a meeting and we think...’

‘There was a stop and he missed it!‘We must, we have to..’‘Usually’‘We have always done that this way...

It Starts with You!Attitudes and Tendencies:

authoritative, magical thinking, finding solutions, avoidanceManage yourself before managing others;Emotions;

Uncertainty, Ambiguity and Paradoxes: Values, Interests, Needs; Your culture and that of your organization; Informal structures in place.

Abilities and Competencies;Role et Responsibilities:

What is your level of informal and formal power?

Guérard G. 2008

Conflict StylesWho are You in Conflict?

Thomas and Kilmann (1974)

The Different Profiles

Competing (Using Power to resolve a conflict: Want to win!)

•The strong leader•The autocrat•The activist•The bully

Collaborating (Understanding other and Using Communication)

•The democrat•The relationship builder•The subversive•The procrastinator

Avoiding (Withdrawing from the relationship, pretending there is no conflict)

•The strategist•The avoider, the shadow

Accommodating (Giving in to avoid conflict)

•The good natured•The doormat

Guérard G. 2008

What is your style?Competing

Taking a firm position In position of power (role,

rank, expertise, and capacity of persuasion)

Useful: When the Issue is

Important In emergency

situations; When making

unpopular decisions; A method in dealing

with irony and sarcasm

Collaboration Meets the needs of all

persons involved There is time Good faith and trust Useful:

When both the issue and the relationship are important

Gather a range of views to obtain the best solution

When the situation is too important for a simple compromise


Avoiding Delegation of controversial

decisions When accepting default

decisions Not wanting to hurt anyone May be appropriate when

victory is impossible Useful:

Controversy is trivial Someone else is in a

better position to solve the problem

Allow others to find a solution

Accommodating Compromise is possible Creates a spirit of

conciliation Favour the other to the

detriment of your own benefits

Useful: When the relationship is important

Preserve harmony

What is your style?


Compromising: (concession) Everyone is willing to

compromise; Creates a spirit of

conciliation Useful:

When the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground;

Opponents are evenly matched;

When there is an imminent deadline.

What is your style?


Some Thoughts...

Is the style you use appropriate in this situation?Are there styles that I use little?How important is the issue? (for me and team

and for the other and his team)?How important is the relationship? (for me or

other)How much time and energy do I want (or can I)

put into this situation?What do I have to lose if I do not act in this

situation?

Guérard (2008)

How do we manage our own emotions?

Step 1:Observe your emotions (how you feel, internal discourse) and how they reveal themselves (manifestations and signs);

Step 2:Identify the triggers of your emotions; (events and people; historical context, facts and assumptions)

Step 3:Identify the causes (issues) of these emotions. (values, competency, relationship, survival)

Guérard (2008)

An example! How to say no, without saying no....

You are faced with a loud, extraverted, unhappy parent,who is complaining about how we have treated her son;his marks are below average; he has not respected the registration deadline for

admission into the program; the emotional charge is high;mom accuses you of ‘not doing your job’, for her son is

‘bright and deserves to be in college’; she says that your decision ‘does not make sense’ and

you will be ‘responsible for her son’s future’

A Few Strategies!Let mom vent;Do not interrupt.. Get your emotions under control;Do not say no, yes sort of.....restate the other’s

comments, present your point of view and ask for her version or a reaction to your view;Focus on the issue not the person;Mimic her style;

Express how you feel; be specific and stop.Explain the reasons by describing the situation again;Give mom choices; Specify what you can do and

what her options are

IFUW (2001)

Communication Tips and Strategies (Active Listening)

Encourage: Tell me more?I want to know what you think?

Clarify:When did that happen?How did you feel? What did you do?

Paraphrase:So I understand that you wish your opinion

to be heard.Repeat what you heard

Shepell-fgi, 2010

Communication Tips and Strategies (Active Listening)

Reflect:You seem to be upset by the situation.You seem to feel strongly about that.

Summarize:It seems that these are important issues.What I heard was…

Validate:I am sensitive to your wish to resolve this

matter.I respect your view, your feelings…

Shepell-fgi, 2010

Nature of ConflictsTypes Possible Intervention

Perception:

Different representation of the same reality

• Dialogue, cropping (rephrase)• Suggest new reality• Open Questions• Facts

Needs:Interests

• Share conventions, rules;• Adhesion: a common and shared

needsValues

Beliefs, Priniciples• ‘I’• Create Code of Conduct;• Share organizational values

Information • Manage expectations;• Provide a sense of why and vision

Structural

Operating Mode (Ways of working)

• Clarify the interpretation of roles, responsibilities and tasks;

• Coaching

When faced with an Emotional ChargeWhat Happened?

What are you Feeling?What is most Difficult for you (right now)?

What can Help you face this?Empathy

Schreiber (2007)

OBEFA Model (stating your issue)

Open Statement: I have a problem (issue)Behaviour: When you do ‘x’Effect: The consequences are ‘y’Feelings: This makes me feel ‘z’Action: I would like us to resolve this

problem together

(U of T - Dealing with Conflict; 2011)

Strategies when faced with « Attitudes » Off topic Conversations:

Request relevance; Stop the conversation and mention that it is irrelevant at this time

The Negative person, antagonistic, hostile: I heard,,, paraphrase Ask for their opinion, what would you do?

Attacks, criticises and argumentative: Describe without judgment what the person is doing

The Absent: DisciplinaryThe Hidden agenda

Question the relevance of the topic provided; Ask what he wants to do with his point; Limit airtime Thank the person and move on to the next topic

Phases of Conflict :Phases of Conflict :When do we intervene?When do we intervene?

BEFORE (LATENCY)Resides in people's perceptions ; potentially frustrating for their interests;Tension, dissatisfaction, frustration, problems, disagreements, mistrust, rumours

DURING (CRISIS) Affects emotions ; conflict is deeply felt by individuals;Attributed malicious intentIntentions become convictionsPositions crystallizeHate speech, harassment

AFTER (OUTBURST) The conflict occurs and is observed in increased tension, anxiety, mistrust, aggressive remarks;Why there is conflict, is not important; What is important is who will win!

Priniciples of Negotiation

Make an objective assessment of the situationStick to objective elements, the FACTSLimit use of personal examplesOne thing at a time (issue not the person)Move from uncertainty to curiosityDo what you say you are the example!

Evacuate the emotional aspectsLet the storm passLook to the futureListen to your internal discourse

Be Open to the arguments and visions of the other:Do not enter into the content and emotions!Do not interpret as personal attacks (recognize signs of fear, anger, lack of confidence, inability or feelings of...)

You are in your role, your statusTake the lead, but share information judiciously!Concentrate on what is happening in your head and in your heart(what are you thinking , what emotions are you experiencing?)

Do not dramatizeSlow down, know when to stop!Control your reactions, put your subjectivity behind youTake a step back

Priniciples of Negotiation

Traps to avoid!

Just go with it!! Guessing the other, think the other is in bad faith;Feel guilty but bet on shared responsibilities;Ignoring your Emotions; JudgmentsInterpretationsGeneralizationsPeremptory solutions

Ingredients for a Healthy Environment?Policies and procedures of professional conduct (attendance,

code of ethics);Establish Strategies, Clarify rules.

Philosophy:Conflict is normal and even useful;No judgments;Conflicts should be addressed;

Involvement and collaboration with levels of the organization;Teams or people identified crisis management (avoid

isolation):Crisis or Tactical TeamMediation

Thank you

conflict management and resolution

Documents

emotional conflict

fundamental conflict

draw conflict

efficiency of work

work methods

relationship problems

fundamental disagreement

sense of belonging