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8/8/2019 Com Mu Cation

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The Basics of EffectiveInterpersonal Communication


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What is communication? What do you think communication is?

How would you define it?

Take a few moments towrite down some ofyour thoughts


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The power of listeningThe philosopher Epictetus stressed thepower of listening in this quote:

Nature gave us one tongue and twoears so we could hear twice as muchas we speak.


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Listen actively Prepare to listen by focusing on the speaker

Control and eliminate distractions so that you

can focus on the message. Dont do anything else(writing, reading, email) but listen

Establish appropriate eye contact to showinterest

See listening as an opportunity to getinformation, share anothers views, and broadenyour own knowledge


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Listen actively Create a need to listen by thinking about what

you can learn from the speaker

Set aside the time to listen so that you wont feelrushed or become distracted by other responsibilities

Dont prejudge the message based on who isdelivering it. Focus instead on the content of themessage.

Monitor the way you listen by asking yourselfquestions such as Did I really pay attention or was Ithinking about what I was going to say next? Wasthere information I missed because I allowed myselfto become distracted?


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Body language Nonverbal communication, known as body

language sends strong positive and negative

signals. This is how much it influences anymessage:

Words 8%

Tone of voice 34%

Non-verbal cues 58%

Message 100%


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Body language includes Face

Figure

Focus

Territory

Tone

Time

Each of these is described in the following slides


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Body language - face Face includes:

Your expressions

Your smile or lack thereof

Tilt of the head; e.g., if your head is tiltedto one side, it usually indicates you areinterested in what someone is saying

What message are you sending if someone ispresenting a new idea and you are frowning?


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Body language - figure Figure includes:

Your posture

Your demeanor and gestures

Your clothes and accessories such asjewelry

What message are you sending if you are dressedcasually at an important meeting?


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Body language - focus Focus is your eye contact with others The perception of eye contact differs by

culture. For most Americans Staring makes other people uncomfortable

Lack of eye contact can make you appear weak ornot trustworthy

Glasses may interfere or enhance eye contact

What message are you sending if you are looking atother things and people in a room when someoneis speaking to you?


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Body language - territory Territory focuses on how you use

space. It is also called proxemics. The perception of territory differs by culture.

Most Americans are comfortable with anindividual space that is about an arms lengthin diameter

What message are you sending if you keep movingcloser to a person who is backing away from you?


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Body language - tone Tone is a factor of your voice

Pitch is the highness or lowness of voice

Volume is how loud your voice is

Emphasis is your inflection

What message are you sending if during adisagreement you start speaking very loudly?


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Body language - time Time focuses on how you use time.

It is also called chronemics.

Pace is how quickly you speak

Response is how quickly you move

Punctuality is your timeliness

What message are you sending if you areconsistently late for meetings?


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Ideas to walk away with People are always communicating

The meaning intended by the sender isnever exactly the message gotten bythe receiver

We can help to overcome barriers to

communication by being aware of themVerbal and non-verbal communication is

important in sending our messages


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Four facets of communication Three are four facets in all types of

communication:

Sender

Receiver

Information

Behavior


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Four facets of communication In any communication:

The Sender is the person trying tocommunicate a message

The Receiver is the person at whom themessage is directed

A message is sent to convey information Information is meant to change behavior


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Shared symbols Sometimes when we communicate we

assume we are usingshared symbols

when we might notbe

Think about the term asap, as soon aspossible. What does it really mean?

Think about how the meaning might changein the situations on the next slide


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Shared symbols How might your meaning of asap change in

these situations?

Someone from another department calls. Heneeds some detailed information asap; but youare already rather busy.

A coworker comes to you for help with anassignment. She needs you asap; but you have

another job to finish before lunch. Your immediate supervisor, whom you like to

please, asks you to type a memo for her asap; butyou already have a stack of other jobs to finish.


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Shared symbols Someone from another department calls.

He needs some detailed information asap;

but you are already rather busy.

In this situation, you might interpret asapas when I have finished all of my ownwork and have a chance to get to it. Itmightbe tomorrow or the next day.


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Shared symbolsA coworker comes to you for help with an

assignment. She needs you asap; but you

have another job to finish before lunch.

In this situation, you might interpret asapas after I have finished my own work, Iwill help out after lunch.


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Shared symbols Your immediate supervisor, whom you like

to please, asks you to type a memo for her

asap; but you already have a stack ofother jobs to finish.

In this situation, you might interpret asapas Ill do this now and finish my otherwork afterwards.


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Shared symbols In the previous examples, weve seen the

meaning of asap change from in a few

days to immediately.

Many other words and phrases are alsovague and have different meanings for

different people.

Shared symbols are not always completelyshared. The message intended is not always

the message received.


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Missed communication

As Purchasing

ordered it.

As the Art Dept.

designed it.

As the Supervisor

implemented it.

As the Manager

Requested it.

As Marketing

wrote it up.

What the Employee

really wanted!


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Why do we communicate? What do you think?



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Why we communicate We communicate to:

Share our ideas and opinions

Provide feedback to others

Get information from others

Gain power and influence

Develop social relationships Maintain self-expression and our culture

and other ideas you may have thought of


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How do we communicate? Think of the many ways in which you

communicate

Take a few moments towrite down some of

your thoughts


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How we communicate We communicate and build

interpersonal relationships through:

Speech

Writing

Listening

Non-verbal language Music, art, and crafts


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Choosing your medium Depending upon the situation, one method

of communication may be better than

another. In person: one-to-one

In person: meetings, small groups

In person: presentations, large groups

Letter

Memo

Note

Email

Voice mail


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Choosing your medium To determine the best medium for your

message determine: What you as the sender need to achieve What the receiver needs to know. What

the receiver wants to know

How detailed, important, and or personal

the information in the message is Which behavior you want to influence and

how


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Choosing your medium How would you communicate

an organizational change in your unit

the introduction of a new employee a change in someones job duties

a reprimand

notice of a meeting

Take a few moments to write down some ofyour thoughts


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Choosing your medium The best way to communicate

an organizational change in your unitby

memo and small group meetings the introduction of a new employee by

group and one-on-one meetings

a change in someones job duties by

memo and one-on-one meeting a reprimand in a one-on-one private meeting

notice of a meetingby memo and email


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Barriers to communication What are barriers to communication

that exist in any work setting?


your thoughts


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Barriers to communication Some common barriers to interpersonal

communication include:

Unclear process: The receiver and sender may not share thesame language, slang, jargon, vocabulary, symbols

Chain of command: There may be too many layers that amessage passes through between sender and receiver

Large size of an organization, geographic

distance:Large num

bers of receivers require good messagesending methods

Personal limitations: Physical and mental disabilities, anddifferences in intelligence and education may interfere with mutualunderstanding


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Barriers to communicationAdditional common barriers to

interpersonal communication include:

Human nature: Peoples egos, prejudices, and traditionscan get in the way

Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions: If peoplefeel on opposite sides of an issue they may not share

Power: The idea that knowledge is power can lead toinformation hoarding



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Sharing your ideas Why and when is it necessary to share

your ideas?


your thoughts


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Share your ideas to State an opinion or position

Give instructions or directions

Announce a change Make presentations

Participate in meetings

Give information in emergencies

Communicate the organizational mission,vision, and values



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Obstacles to sharing ideas What can make sharing ideas difficult?



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Obstacles to sharing ideas Your own shyness

Fear of rejection

Peer pressure

Unorganized thinking

Others possibly becoming defensive

Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing, speech)

Having to deal with aggressive people

and others you may have thought of


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Speak for yourself To ensure your messages are clear,

speak for yourself, not for others:

Speaking for yourself sounds like:

I, me, my

I think, I feel, I want to know that

Speaking for no one sounds like: It, some people, everyone, they decided

Speaking for others sounds like:

We, you, John, Mary said


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SHARE your ideas a model

State the main point of your message

Highlight other important points Assure the receivers understanding

React to how the receiver responds

Emphasize/summarize your main ideas


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FOCUS on information

a model Focus the discussion on the specific

information you need

Open-end question to expand thediscussion

Close-end question to get specifics

Use active listening skills to understandwhat you are hearing

Summarize and close the discussion


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FOCUS on information

an exampleFocus the discussion on the specific information you need

I need to ask you about the computer meeting you attendedyesterday.

Open-end question to expand the discussion

What kinds of decisions were made regarding expansion of ourdepartmental system?


Did the committee decide to buy Dell computers?

Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing

W

hat I think I heard you say was that the decision was made?Summarize and close the discussion

So to wrap up, the system will expand and we will be using Dells.Thanks for keeping me up to date.


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Giving feedback Why is it necessary to give constructive

feedback to others?


your thoughts


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Give feedback when Someone asks for your opinion

Work errors occur frequently

A coworkers habits disturb you A coworkers behavior has negative

consequences

There are unresolved problems


Constructive feedback focuses on facts not people,solving problems instead of placingblame, and

strengthening relationships instead of being right


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Obstacles to giving

constructive feedback What makes it hard to give

constructive feedback?


your thoughts


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Obstacles to giving

constructive feedback Separating the person from the problem

Others becoming defensive or angry

Fear of negative consequences (especially if theother person is a supervisor)

Dealing with potential conflict (especially if the otherperson is aggressive)

Avoiding hurt feelings

Preserving relationships Not having all the facts and jumping to conclusions

Choosing the right time so that the other person ismost receptive



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STATE feedback a model State the constructive purpose of

your feedback

Tell specifically what you have observed Address and describe your reactions

Tender specific suggestions for

improvement Express your support and respect for

the person


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STATE feedback an exampleState the constructive purpose of your feedback

Id like to give you some feedback about your training style so that yourevaluations will be more positive and you will enjoy it more.

Tell specifically what you have observed

I notice that you rely heavily on your notes.

Address and describe your reactions

I feel as though you are unsure of yourself when you read.

Tender specific suggestions for improvement

I can help you develop a PowerPoint presentation so that you can usethe screens as a cue instead ofbeing tied to your notes.

Express your support for the person

You know a lot about the subject. With practice you can become a goodtrainer.


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Test yourself1. Communication is defined as the interchange of thoughts or

opinions through shared symbols.True___ False___

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender,receiver, information, and behavior.

True___ False___

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of anorganization or geographic distance; personal limitations;human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; andpower are examples ofbarriers to communication.

True___ False___


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Test yourself4. Describe the steps of the SHARE model for giving good

information share, highlight, assure, react, emphasize:

5. Describe the steps of the FOCUS model for getting goodinformation focus, open end, close end, use, summarize:

6. Describe the steps of the STATE model for giving constructivefeedback state, tell, address, tender, express:

7. Describe the the six aspects of non-verbal communication (bodylanguage):


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Test yourself - answers1. Communication is defined as the interchange of thoughts or

opinions through shared symbols.True

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender,receiver, information, and behavior.

True

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of anorganization or geographic distance; personal limitations;human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; power areexamples ofbarriers to communication.

True


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Test yourself - answers4. The steps of the SHARE model for giving good information are:

State the main point of your message

Highlight other important points

Assure the receivers understanding React to how the receiver responds

Emphasize/summarize your main ideas

5. The steps of the FOCUS model for getting good information are: Focus the discussion on the specific information you need

Open-end question to expand the discussion


Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing

Summarize and close the discussion


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Test yourself - answers6. The steps of the STATE model for constructive feedback are:

State the constructive purpose of your feedback

Tell specifically what you have observed

Address and describe your reactions Tender specific suggestions for improvement

Express your support for the person

7. The the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body language): Face expressions, smile, tilt of head

Figure posture, demeanor, gestures, dress

Focus eye contact

Territory use of space

Tone voice pitch, volume, emphasis

Time the use time


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Apply what youve learned When you started this program we asked you

to consider some questions. Lets wrap up: W

hat new things did you learn about interpersonalcommunication?

Did you meet your learning goals for thisprogram?

Did you meet your supervisors expectations, if

any, for participation in this training? How will you be able to apply your learning on thejob?


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Whats next? We hope you have enjoyed this program as an

overview of the basic verbal and non-verbalcommunication skills needed in the workplace.

The Professional DevelopmentProgram offersclassroom sessions on this and other topics whichinclude numerous individual and group exercises toenhance your learning.

Please visit our web site http://uhr.rutgers.edu/profdevto enroll or obtain more information.


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The Basics of EffectiveInterpersonal Communication

U nive rs i t y Huma n R e sour c e s

Professional Development ProgramSupporting leadership, int erpersonal and professional excellence

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