CHAPTER 2:

LEADERSHIP SKILLS

“Leadership is the knack of getting somebody to do something you want done

because he wants to do it.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Types of Conflict

Types of Conflict

Conflict arises when there is a disagreement about how to best solve a particular problem

May be about something that is really personal or It can result from a disagreement between two or more people

Finding the best solution to a conflict involves

Rationally considering the various possibilities Showing empathy for the points of view of the involved parties

“Most people evaluate events in their lives according to how they will be personally affected. Leaders think within a

broader context.” John C. Maxwell

Personalized versus Depersonalized Conflict

Depersonalized When a conflict stems from a

difficult situation or problem A rational resolution process

without emotion is possible Often can become personalized

as individuals become invested in a particular point of view

Personalized When people are in opposition to

one another Emotional reactions and feelings

often arise, and having to work with this person may be annoying, confrontational, or offensive to the people involved

Most important, it may cause an unproductive work environment

Event has no impact on

you personally.

Event has great

personal impact.

Event starts to mean more

to you personally.

Intrapersonal versus Interpersonal Conflict

Intrapersonal Internal conflict, or having to

make a tough decision all on your own

A person who has developed a clear set of personal values and a strategy for making decisions faces less stress than these dilemmas often present for others less prepared

Interpersonal Conflict between two or more

individuals, where each holds an opposing view

Intragroup versus Intergroup Conflict

Intragroup When a group is split on an

issue The decisions that are most

strongly supported afterwards, are those where the group reaches a consensus i.e., by the time the vote is

taken, the decision is unanimous

Intergroup When entire groups are in

conflict with each other

Common Causes of Conflict

Differing Goals, Needs, or Values If your goals differ from those of the people you are interacting with,

you may place different value on various outcomes

For example, if you value group harmony, and you are working in a group with someone who is more concerned about getting a task completed than about keeping group members happy, your group may experience conflict

Rivalries and Personal Ambitions

If you are at a tryout for a basketball team and don’t pass the ball to an open competing player, then try for an improbable layup to outshine others, you might be putting personal ambition ahead of the needs of the team

Avoidance of Responsibility You might feel conflict if group members do not complete their

responsibilities

For example, if your group assigned a task to someone and she didn’t meet her timeline, you might blame her for the poor mark you got on the task

Working with people who do not complete the work they are assigned can cause confusion and it ultimately leads to frustration and low group morale

Carelessness in Job Performance If your personal work expectations are not matched by the others in

the group, then you may have trouble trusting the quality of the work submitted by the other group members

You may be tempted to do all the work yourself, or you might be really demanding on the other members to ensure their work is up to your standards

In either case, conflict is very likely to occur

Overlap in Job Responsibilities If more than one person or group is assigned to the same task when

planning an event, conflict and disorder may arise if they do not work on the task in a coordinated manner

The different individuals or groups involved may think they are “wasting their efforts” because of the duplication or may feel they are not trusted to fulfill their responsibilities

If both groups assume the other is doing the work and don’t communicate, the task may not get done at all and the timelines may not be met

As well, the message that each of these groups sends out to the target group may differ, causing confusion as well as conflict

Personal and Group Stress Stress often brings out the worst in people

We often experience problems with both our intrapersonal and interpersonal communication skills

Our listening skills that suffer first We often have trouble empathizing with their

situation We may be more verbally aggressive or self-

serving than normal

Stress can change how you look at situations, and you need to be careful to be assertive and not aggressive or passive

Prejudice Whenever someone judges another

person based on race, religion, colour, gender, or sexual orientation, conflict is almost inevitable

When Jackie Robinson broke the

“colour barrier” in 1947, the conflict within the sport of baseball, and even with his own teammates on the Brooklyn Dodgers, was well documented

Misunderstandings Often result from poor communication within a group

If a group doesn’t use clear messages and there is a misunderstanding, clarifying the situation will be difficult

For example, gossip is a dangerous method of communication, and the message invariably gets changed extensively before it ever completes the full circle. Feelings are often hurt as a result of the misunderstandings that arise from gossip, and it should be avoided

Techniques to Improve Your Conflict Management

Skills

Conflict Management

In any group or team, conflicts are an inevitable

The ability to properly handle these conflict situations is an important skill for a leader

There are a number of widely used approaches to conflict resolution, and good leaders will use more than one depending on the situation

“You will go through tough times again in your life.. Always, always remember these three words: Responsibility. Determination. Courage. And don’t ever give up on you.”

Danièle Sauvageau

Active Listening Involves asking appropriate questions to better understand how

someone else is feeling and why

Allows the other person to tell you more

More than just listen or hear, it requires trying to understand person’s needs

By asking questions such as:

How would you like things to be? Would you like things to be different?

Active Listening Skills

Improve your listening skills by practicing active listening:

•Remember to make eye contact

•Show you are interested in what the other person is saying

•Avoid distracting actions or gestures, such as looking at your watch

•Ask questions for clarification and to ensure understanding of the message

•Use nonverbal cues, such as head nods or hand gestures, to convey interest

•Use paraphrasing if necessary to ensure understanding

•Avoid interrupting the sender; let her complete her thoughts

•Don’t “over-talk” – remember that knowledge is composed of two parts: having a lot to say and knowing when not to say it!

Win–Win In a compromise situation, one party will give up some of what he

really wants and take less to allow the other party to get some of what she wants

With compromise, there is no clear loser, but there is no clear winner either

Sometimes compromise is best solution as each party intends to give up something

In a win–win situation, you must “think outside the box” and explore how to fully meet the needs of both parties at the same time

The challenge is to do everything possible to make your solution win–win Example: Both Tim and Sally need the last lemon.

After further discussion, it turns out that Tim wants to make a cake using the lemon rind, and Sally wants the pulp of the lemon to make lemonade.

Using “I” Messages and Being Assertive A person effectively uses an “I” message when he

communicates his emotions, identifies the situation that is causing these feelings, and proposes a solution

Without blaming anyone directly and not at the expense of compromising anyone else’s needs

Example: “Dad, when I am studying in my room and you yell at me from the kitchen to “empty the trash right now,” I feel annoyed because I think studying is important. It makes me feel that you think I can’t manage my time or my chores, but I think I am quite capable of it. In the future, I would appreciate it if you came to my room and asked me to do the chore, and I will do it when I take my next break from studying.”

Mediation A process in which a neutral third party (a mediator) helps the

participants resolve their conflict without aggression or coercion

The mediation process has several steps:

Establish a respectful environment Identify the problem List the alternatives Select the best alternative Write out a plan Evaluate at a later date

Adjudication A process in which a neutral third party listens to all sides of a

dispute and then makes a judgment based on the available information

This takes responsibility for resolving the conflict from the disputants and hands it over to the adjudicator

The adjudicator must have her authority accepted by all parties or else her decision will be ignored

Example: When a professional athlete feels he should be paid the same as other players in the league who are at the same talent level, and the team management believes the athlete is not worth the money he is asking for. So the player and the team agree to go to arbitration to solve the problem. The arbitrator’s decision is final.

Avoidance Another method of dealing with conflict is to avoid it

This does not offer a permanent way of resolving the conflict, but it is an extremely popular short-term solution

It gives conflicting parties a chance to cool down It may not solve the problem; it can intensify an issue and delay its

resolution

Example: Walking out of a group meeting because you don’t agree with the event your student council is planning for the senior prom

Accommodation

When one of the conflicting parties makes a conscious decision to place another person’s needs before or above her own It sometimes involves making personal sacrifices, often at the expense of

your own needs May also involve an element of empathy towards an opponent

When an individual acknowledges a personal mistake, or accepts another person’s point of view because this second viewpoint is backed by others If we always accept everyone else’s viewpoints just to avoid conflict, then we

are acting passively, and this method may encourage the conflicting party to expect similar compliance in different situations in the future

Example: Discontinuing a full-court press in basketball to keep the score from getting too high by putting in bench players