“Because of your dedication, vulnerable elders received the support and care they needed to age in place with dignity.”

Since its inception by Community Outreach Partnership in 1985, Communicare has made a significant impact in Philadelphia. Because of your dedication, vulnerable elders received the support and care they needed to age in place with dignity.

Today, we have important news to share regarding the evolution of Communicare, which we hope brings clarity to all involved–including you.

Communicare came under the umbrella of Episcopal Community Services in 2016—and perfectly complemented an existing senior support program called Dolphin Companions.

Both Communicare and Dolphin Companions share a mission to provide companionship and support to the elderly community. While Communicare is committed to providing the service to people in their Center City homes, Dolphin Companions are visiting people in residential facilities throughout the five county region.

To better promote these services to both seniors and volunteers, ECS has decided to merge the two into one single offering by the name of Dolphin Companions.

While the name is changing, it is important to honor the impact Communicare has helped us reach in Center City.

In this special edition of Be Generous and Do Good, interviews, stories, and pieces written by volunteers celebrate the work of this program.

We want to thank you for your continued support—and for the energy and the friendships you have and will create with seniors across the region. In your service, you have shown that friendship truly has no age.

Thank you for all that you do.

In Faith,

David GriffithExecutive Director

John RandolphCORP co-founderECS Board of Trustee

BE GENEROUS AND DO GOODVOLUNTEER NEWSLETTER

Honoring Communicare

She would visit elders in the community to find out what they needed and worked to find a suitable volunteer that had a similar personality and interests.

While many of the early volunteers came from TMC, the program continued to grow to include those in the surrounding community. The goal was to not only provide one-on-one support, but to have intergenerational relationships form between pairs.

“There are all kinds of people in this world—many of them are simply wonderful—and it will be a pleasure on both sides,” Maris said. “This program offers the opportunity to get to know an interesting person with a lot to share and learn from.”

We thank Maris and the team for creating this meaningful program.

HISTORY—

Have you ever wondered how the Communicare program got started?

We spoke with Maris Krasnegor, the co-founder of Communicare, to get a little more insight as to how it all began.

Decades ago, Maris and Susan Hale lived in the Philadelphia community and were members of Trinity Memorial Church (TMC).

As Maris recalls, Susan felt something needed to be done to provide more support for the elderly in the Fitler Square neighborhood as many did not have nearby family support.

They asked themselves: “What can we do?”

Louis Temme, the director at TMC at the time, was a great proponent of community health. He was a perfect addition to their team of three, and they worked to create the beginning of the program that we now refer to as Communicare.

Maris was the head of the senior center in Roxborough and had previously taught textile classes to seniors. She figured it would be a natural fit to take on the part-time role of volunteer coordinator.

Despite being hesitant at first, she ended up being paired up with an incredible volunteer who became one of her very good friends.

“[It] made life not only easier, but richer!” Helene enthusiastically recalled.

Just as she struggled when first asking for help, many other seniors feel similarly when their independence is compromised.

Her main point of advice is that even if a client asks for help, they may still resent it, and these feelings may come out negatively in the way they approach the volunteer, but she emphasizes that volunteers “shouldn’t take it personally!”

Given Helene’s position of having served as a Communicare volunteer, and now having a companion of her own, she has a unique perspective to offer those interested in volunteering with this program.

SPOTLIGHT—

Helene Barr was a volunteer with Communicare since its beginning.

She was a mental health therapist and figured that the skills from her professional life would translate well to helping others in the community.

She became friends with Maris, the co-founder of Communicare, and praises her to this day. “Her incredible ability to match a client with a volunteer was uncanny!” she said.

Helene’s journey with Communicare, and similar programs, has come full circle.

Later in her life, she recognized that she needed some assistance with a few of her weekly errands. Reluctantly, she requested needing a volunteer but “it was very hard for [her] because it meant something that did not feel good”.

Volunteer Helene Barr has a passion for writing and poetry. She wrote a few pieces during her time as a Communicare volunteer, drawing inspiration from the relationships she formed. Here are two of her works.

Minute, groomed, sparkling,clear on who she was, sensed the hospital rushwas her last,and she whispered “please,no nursing home, it is time.”

Seven dark heads bowed, their tears her reward, my last goodbye, a final clouded gaze atpast and future.

LAST RESPECTSby Helene Barr

Seven dark haired headsbowed to a sparrowof a woman resting on red velvet, wrapped in a jeweled vest, dark glasses cloakingsightless eyes nowopen to the light.

She determined her lifeby large and small leaps. Opinions stone clad, views narrow butheartfelt.A tiny force, strength her willto make her world.

We agreed to disagreeabout politics and religion. She swallowed hard to insure a breath inher darkness.Family was her comfort, her irritated joy,the way with us all.

“It made life not only easier, but richer!”

“CAN I SAY IT IN FRENCH?” Excerpts from Helene’s Essay

When Mrs. S. moved to Philadelphia, she got job as a bookkeeper and lived in a boarding house.

During this period or perhaps after her first marriage, she became involved in dance, drama classes, painting, poetry, furniture, and clothes making. She still wears color-coordinated slacks and blouses that she made.

From her voice and expressions, it is clear that dance was the love of her life. There are photos of her in a variety of costumes and she appears so happy, so attractive, vibrant, and graceful. One of the reasons she will not listen to music now is that she can’t dance to the rhythm any longer.

She speaks enthusiastically of Isadora Duncan, Pavlova, and Nijinsky, in fact has a biography of Nijinsky in the small bookcase near her bed where she hangs a sheet over the bookshelves to prevent fading.

Every book she has is treasured.

She periodically brings a volume out for me to examine and wants to know if I have anything similar. I frequently do.

It took at least six months before she would accept small offerings from me. Things like muffins, fruit, cheese, she’d decline softly saying, “oh no, dear, I can’t take this,” or “I can’t use this,” or “I have nothing to give you in return.”

She now accepts small food gifts from me with appreciation. I believe the turnabout came after I scrubbed her toilet. Someone had told her it was disgusting and Mrs. S. asked me to check it.

“Yep,” I agreed, and cleaned the bathroom with her permission.

She visibly opened after this.

She gave me a music box, a gift from her son, and offered it saying “I was going to throw this away, do you want it?” When I accepted it, she said that “maybe you could put my ashes in it.”

It has been so hard for her to give and receive and now I was in the same place, unable to respond to her awkwardly offered gift. My throat had constricted; my words pushed down to silence. An emotional exchange had taken place. We are now less tentative about our dance, our rhythm smooth. Now we can almost complete one another’s sentences.

Recently, after reading a nature poem to her and discussing the images and the feelings they evoked, I confessed that I liked the smell of horse manure.

She clapped her hands, grinning, “I can’t believe it, but I guess I’ll have to since you said it first. I love that smell too. My father used to collect the manure to put in our garden and I would sniff the full buckets.”

That seemed to comfort Mrs. S. She is delighted when we discover beliefs or philosophies we have in common.

Poetry is our main shared interest.

I read poems to her and often have to stop after each line so she can comment, question, or connect the lines to a memory.

It is a joyous task to choose poems that might appeal to her and I’ve visited many forgotten poems as well as making new discoveries. She prefers descriptive poems that have a rhythm but not necessarily a rhyme, and has asked that I not bring anything romantic or sad, though she enjoys the Brownings and Emily Dickinson.

She surprisingly liked some contemporary women writers but nothing abstract. At her request, I read one of my own poems and she made no comment. I guess that was a “don’t like” or perhaps a “don’t understand” and she was too polite to question me.

When Mrs. S. retires for the evening, she spends much of her time mentally playing with letters, words, and phrases.

She is intrigued and annoyed by the oddities of the English language, cites homonyms and words with silent first letters, such as the letter K, as in knife or known – the bane of many new speakers and writers of English.

Transposing the letters of a word, spelling them backwards and getting a new or opposite meaning seems to delight her, in a low wattage way.

Another diversion for Mrs. S. is thinking about my family members. She asks about them with interest and curiosity. I am careful not to sound too happy when I describe their lives.

She has met my son and daughter-in-law after initially refusing to see them but then inviting us to come by.

She and they enjoyed their visit immensely. Mrs. S. became animated when showing them the paintings and furniture in her neat apartment and describing which ones she had made and their history.

They, in turn, were impressed by her exuberant personality and sent her a letter after the visit which she filed with her important papers.

At each visit she asks if I am returning, “rain or shine.”

Responding to my buzz from the intercom, she replies, “Are you really there?” and I usually answer “C’est moi, and I am really here!” And I hear her quivery sigh, a hum of uncertainty clinging to it.

When I enter her apartment, she is usually half turned towards me, a questioning look on her face, as though she is not fully convinced of my arrival.

She then faces me and struggles to come up with a novel greeting that she thinks I will enjoy. We exchange salutations, do some small talk, and then settle down to poetry. Often, she asks me to stop reading so she can discuss her reactions and we exchange interpretations.

When a poem is finished, I wait, see her fingering her watch, checking the hour, to make sure I do not overstay my allotted time. I don’t know if this is for her sake or mine.

As I prepare to leave, she walks me halfway to the door, anticipating our goodbye hug and kiss. I do not embrace her, for fear of giving her my cold, and she takes a few backward steps murmuring through narrowed lips “Do you think you’ll be better next time?”

“Sure,” I say, as I close her door and stand there silently, imagining her face without my kiss, patiently waiting for our next visit.

80+ VOLUNTEERS PAIRED WITH SENIORS THROUGHOUT THE PHILADELPHIA REGION.

THANK YOU—

We acknowledge the continued service of our compassionate Communicare volunteers. Thank you for your commitment. We look forward to having you join our Dolphins.

HEATHER ALLEVA

MR. AND MRS. DAVID CASTRO-DIEPHOUSE

HANK GOLDRING

KELSEY MALONE

MR. AND MRS. JEFF MECKLER

NANCY MIDDLEBROOK

BRIAN PITTS

KATHLEEN POLISKI

KAREN SCHOENEWALDT

SALLIE L. VAN MERKENSTEIJN

LESLIE WEILER

ELAINE M. ALLEN

MICHAEL PLUMPTON AND DERRICK FOURNIER

LISA KILHEFNER

COURTNEY MCGEE

JULIA ROVERA

SAMANTHA J. TALLMAN

JANIS KETCHESON

“I volunteer because it helps me to feel connected to the community I live within. It makes me feel good to help someone who is in need. While I can’t give as much financially to causes that I value, I can still feel like I’m doing my part by giving my time.”

– JACLYN ROSEN, COMMUNICARE VOLUNTEER

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REFLECTIONby Lisa Kilhefner

Life can be challenging, even for young, able-bodied people with a good support network.

But there’s something disheartening about how our society disregards people as they age.

I am lucky to have more free time on my hands than I need so I like to spend it with the elderly. When I lived in DC I visited an eighty-five year old man with dementia – I adored him and our weekly visits (even if he didn’t always remember who I was).

When I moved to Philly in 2017, I knew I needed to connect with another elderly person. Selfishly, I craved the joy of learning from someone with all that life experience, but I also wanted to help with simple tasks that are often just out of reach for someone with physical limitations that age brings.

I was matched with Cecilia who lives independently in Center City. She’s born and raised Philadelphia proud and was a lively 99 years young when I first met her. Having never married or had children, she relies on volunteers and various friends to get by, as well as some family who live in the suburbs.

Cecilia has filled my ears with stories of her younger years traveling the world with her best friend Ethel, whom she met at her West Philly parish. Oh, the things they must have seen!

They did plenty of exploring right here in our fair city, too; she paints me a vivid picture of the golden days of the Automat, Lit Brothers department store and the days of eating Breyers ice cream when it was made here in town. Her mother died at childbirth from the

Spanish flu of 1918 but she was raised by a strong father and aunt who taught her to take life by the horns.

I had the pleasure of celebrating her 100th birthday with her family and friends, plus I had the chance to meet her former ECS volunteers. They all shared my sentiment that she is a special lady with a fierce spirit.

My favorite experience thus far was accompanying Cecilia to this year’s annual Mayor’s Centenarian Luncheon at the Sugar House Casino. What fun to see so many local residents who’ve made it to 100.

Cecilia even had the chance to play some slots in the casino after the lunch. I can’t remember a more satisfying day in my life.

Through volunteering I’ve learned that every person has significance and deserves respect, no matter their age.

And that preserving an elder’s dignity is paramount.

I try to remember that she is just me in an older body, me from another generation, and I am humbled at the chance to hear her life stories.

My only mission, beyond making sure she has the basic things she needs, is to make her smile that beautiful smile.