write tight(er) part 1—the technique—stc14 summit

Write Tight (er)

Marcia Riefer Johnston@MarciaRJohnston

#STC14

Part 1: The Technique

#STC14 @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) HowToWriteEverything.com

#spectrum14 Write Tight(er) HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston

#STC14

No headline?

#STC14

No headline?

No bullets?

#STC14

No headline?

No bullets? No

verbiage?

#STC14

No headline?

No bullets? No

verbiage?

How concise!

#STC14

No headline?

No bullets? No

verbiage?

How concise!

What does conciseness mean (and not mean)?

Minimalism

What does conciseness mean (and not mean)?

Concise means “minimal.”

Concise means “minimal.”Not short.

“Cut me a short string.”

“Cut me a short string.” Huh?

“Cut me a short string.”

Make text (like string) as long as needed.

Make text, like string, as long as needed. @MarciaRJohnston #STC14

Not robospeak.

Push button.

Not robospeak.

Push button. Push the button.

Not robospeak.

Keep the the.

Push button. Push the button.

Minimal.

Enough to meet your audiences’ needs

Minimal.

Enough to accomplish your purpose

Minimal.

No more

Minimal.

No more No less

Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free

Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or Your

Products through Your Words

Audience needs: “What’s in it for me?”

My purpose: Get you here

No more

No more No less

How much difference can conciseness make?

“Measured usability was dramatically higher for the concise version [of the website]—58% better.” !

Nielsen Norman Group www.nngroup.com/articles/

how-users-read-on-the-web

In what ways does conciseness help me sell?

Small screens

Translation costs

Small screens

Translation costs

Readability

Small screens

Translation costs

Readability

Think usability, engagement.

How can I write more concisely?

Dump these words!*

Dump these words!**unless you need them

Time-saving, pain-free technique

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact that

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjust

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order to

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbial

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particular

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiage

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch

See be-verbs.

See be-verbs! @MarciaRJohnston #STC14

Examples

“Bias tape has the advantage of being able to be applied smoothly around curves as well as straight.”

The fix might not be self-evident.

You have to think.

(Not too painful.)

“A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful.”

—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful.”

—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Our IT team wants to be predictive.

What does the team

want to do?

“Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after.”

—Ernest Hemingway

“Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after.”

—Ernest Hemingway

“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things

that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things

we don’t know we don’t know.” (attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)

We don’t know diddly—

We don’t know diddly—except to avoid be-verbs.

See be-verbs.

Be-verbs are everywhere. See? @MarciaRJohnston #STC14

-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)

Jane fully expects a big publisher to snap up her first novel.

We hope that people will actively participate.

Please listen carefully to the following choices so that we can immediately direct your call to the appropriate person.

Mahatma Gandhi truly changed the world.

#STC14 @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) HowToWriteEverything.comHowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs)

#STC14 @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) HowToWriteEverything.comHowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs)

very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)

Fred likes his toast very dry.

Fred likes his toast so dry.

Fred likes such dry toast.

Exception:the doge meme

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/11/15/doge_pronunciation_how_do_you_pronounce_the_name_of_the_shibe_doge_meme.html

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)

not, no (& other negative words)

Do not use negative phrasing.

If you want viewers to focus on something, do not show faces looking away from it.

(This image is from an eye-tracking study by James Breeze as cited in Garr Reynolds’s book Presentation Zen.)

If you want viewers to focus on something, do not show faces looking away from it.

(This image is from an eye-tracking study by James Breeze as cited in Garr Reynolds’s book Presentation Zen.)

The Oregon Ducks have not lost a “Civil War” game to their archrivals, the Beavers, in seven years.

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words)

the fact that

Given the fact that Joan understood topic-based writing, everyone went to her with questions.

Concept Task Reference

Given the fact that Joan understood topic-based writing, everyone went to her with questions.

Concept Task Reference

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that

It's just that I just say just a lot. I just have the habit, so it’s just hard to stop saying it.

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just

begin to, try to, tend to, in order to

Michael Noer handed the six-year-old the tablet. With no instruction, and never having seen a computer, the boy began to swipe the screen, launch apps, and play a pinball game.

Try to focus on breathing.

“Stop trying to hit me, and hit me.” —Morpheus to Neo

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

—Yoda

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

—Yoda

“When our tools don’t work, we tend to blame ourselves for being too stupid or not reading the manual or having too fat fingers.”

—Lev Grossman, Time

“When our tools don’t work, we tend to blame ourselves for being too stupid or not reading the manual or having too fat fingers.”

—Lev Grossman, Time

In order to divert 34,000 tons of food scraps from landfills, Portland created a curbside-pickup program for compostable waste.

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, try to, tend to, in order to

period of time

Jones and Caruthers have worked here for a long period of time.

Sketch by Brian Poulsen. Used with permission.

Jones and Caruthers have worked here for a long period of time.

Sketch by Brian Poulsen. Used with permission.

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, try to, tend to, in order to period of time

in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)

In light of my lack of cash, we stopped at an ATM.

In spite of his poor health, Samuel attended his niece’s graduation.

I prefer that TV in terms of cost.

“The word of is, in anything other than small doses, among the surest indications of flabby writing.”

—Bryan Garner Garner’s Modern American Usage

“The word of is, in anything other than small doses, among the surest indications of flabby writing.”

—Bryan Garner Garner’s Modern American Usage

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, try to, tend to, in order to period of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)

proverbial

The proverbial needle in the haystack

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, try to, tend to, in order to period of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial

different (as in many different, 36 different)

Our company understands the pros and cons of all these different technologies.

Steve Jobs’s name appears on 212 different Apple patents.

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, try to, tend to, in order to period of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial different (as in many different, 36 different)

particular

Google’s CEO, Eric Schmidt, has a particular belief that Android’s open platform leads to more options and more consumer choice.

While Lady Gaga’s particular sense of style puzzles many, millions of fans say that her affirming theme of bravery and kindness has changed their lives.

weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, try to, tend to, in order to period of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial different (as in many different, 36 different) particular

verbiage

We’ll throw some verbiage in there.

Want a tip for making this technique even

more time-saving and pain-free?

Try this.

YOUR WORDS

write tight(er) part 1—the technique—stc14 summit

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