parenting styles
Post on 09-Dec-2014
339 Views
Preview:
DESCRIPTION
TRANSCRIPT
1
Parenting StylesBy Nong ChrangJenny SmithMelissa Wright
Welcome to PARENTHOOD!
•Whether you are new parents, experienced parents, adoptive, foster or soon-to-be parents…
parenthood is a journey.
•“Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on.” Maria Shriver
•As your primary care provider, we would like to support you in your parenthood journey.
•Today, we would like to give some simple tips for you to use for based on parenting research.
•Our recommendations begin with younger children, and expand to pre-teen and teenage years.
•Please view the following videos, and imagine yourself as the parent
•Ask yourself, what would you do?
Consider this Scene...
•Child sitting with tablet in messy room. Parent asks “did you clean up your room?” Child, without looking up says “yes”, camera sweeps piles and clutter.
•What words would you choose to describe your feeling after watching?
•Irritated? Frustrated? Impatient?
Knee-Jerk Reactions• Avoid negative reflexive responses when
possible. “Knee-jerk” angry responses have been shown to produce more bad behavior in children, not less.
•More bad behavior can lead parents to escalate angry responses, producing a negative cycle.
Laukkanen, et al, 2014, Mence, et al, 2014
The Knee-Jerk Cycle
•That cycle can can lead parents to expect and over-react to bad behavior before it happens.
•Over-reactions can include being demanding, shutting down child discussion, and being overly-controlling, which can produce hostility going forward on both sides.
Laukkanen, et al, 2014, Mence, et al, 2014
Think back to the video, you may have responded like this:
Demanding/Controlling Discipline
•Demanding or controlling forms of discipline have been associated with more temperamental child behaviors such as outbursts and inflexibility in new situations, especially in younger children… Bahr & Hoffman,
2010 Mence, et al, 2014
Demanding/Controlling Discipline
•…increased risky behaviors such as underage drinking in older children.
Bahr & Hoffman, 2010
also connected with
Teenage Drinking
•Those with parents warm, open and communicative had the least risk of heavy drinking
•Teens with demanding/controlling parents were twice as likely to drink heavily
Bahr & Hoffman, 2010
However…
•Overly indulgent/permissive parenting is no better. There is evidence that this “hands-off” style is associated with even more discipline problems in the future.
Bahr & Hoffman, 2010Laukkanen, et al, 2014
Giving-in
•For example, giving in to the whining child or being inconsistent with rules has also been associated with temperamental children and risk-seeking behaviors in teens.
•Teens with “indulgent parents” had three times the risk of heaving drinking as compared to supportive, consistent parents.
Bahr & Hoffman, 2010, Laukkanen, et al, 2014
Bad outcomes, the example...
•Vid clip continues with parent commenting “I don’ t see that you’ve done anything.” Child: “I’m on-line playing with Tommy. I’ll do it later.” Parent: “That’s what you said yesterday, but, whatever.”
Bahr & Hoffman, 2010, Laukkanen, et al, 2014
Opposing views
•One researcher found “indulgent parenting” connected to teen girls and:▫Lower stress levels▫Higher life satisfaction▫However, increased unhealthy eating
habits
There are good and bad things about ALL parenting styles. Coccia, Darling, Rehm, Cui, & Sathe, 2012
However, most research shows better results…
•…when parents are both warm and involved as well as highly expectant and consistent
Maccoby & Martin, 1983
Bright Ideas
•When a bad behavior seems like the • same old cycle, consider other ways• of tackling the problem.
•Get ahead of bad behavior by acknowledging triggers...
Dowling, Slep & O’Leary, 2009
Triggers
•Triggers can include boredom, fatigue, physical discomfort, hunger and fear.
•Thinking about triggers should also include the child’s physical, emotional and developmental status. A small child is easily distracted. A teen is inwardly focused.
Dowling, Slep & O’Leary, 2009
Parenting Tools
•Set clear rules/standards
•Avoid problems by thinking of child’s needs, avoiding triggers
•Listen and understand children’s feelings
Consider this scene:
•Clip: Parent: “Anthony, please go up to your room, make your bed, and bring down the dirty laundry. And leave your iPad here until you’re done. Gram is coming over in an hour and you wanted to make her a card.” Child: “Oh yeah, I forgot. Okay, Mom.”
Parenting Tools
•Be consistent with discipline/punishment but always with an explanation- tell them why
•Avoid reflexive “knee-jerk” responses based on past behaviors.
For the future…
•We have seen that supportive, involved and warm parenting reduces teenage underage drinking…
• Did you know good parenting can also reduce other teenage risky behaviors such as smoking and unsafe sex?
Communication and smoking•Teens with parents who openly
communicate with them have a 50% reduction in risk of smoking risk
Castrucci & Gerlach, 2006
Communication and Teen Safe Sex•When mothers openly communicate with
teen daughters about sex….
•There is delay in sexual intercourse•Increased contraception use•Increased condom use. •Less dependent on peers opinions.
Askelson, Campo & Smith, 2012
Parenting Tools
•Openly communicate…even if subject is
uncomfortable
American Academy of Pediatrics•This national organization also
recommends open communication between parents and children/teens.
•Their website gives clear, simple tips for communication with your children and teens.
AAP, 2013
American Academy of Pediatrics
Tips for Communication•Listen Actively•Make and keep eye contact.•Look for the underlying messages
in what your child is saying.•Show respect for their ideas and feelings.
AAP, 2013
American Academy of Pediatrics
Tips for Communication•Stay away from sarcasm•No hurtful teasing •No blaming•Be honest•Be aware of time and places that are good
for talking
AAP, 2013
Helpful Websites
Parenting NH
If you wish to spend some extra time, here are some great websites…
Parents of Young Children
Parents of Teens
Final Thought
•“We may not be able to prepare the future for our children…
…but we can at least prepare our children for the future”
• –Franklin Roosevelt
On your own- Ted Talk:
•If you wish to spend some more time….•On the next slide is a hysterical 17 minute
ted talk about parenting taboos.•It’s worth watching!
•Thank you!!
References• American Academy of Pediatrics [AAP]. (2013) Communication
dos and don’ts. Available from http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Communication-Dos-and-Donts.aspx
• Askelson, N.M., Campo, S. & Smith, S. (2012) Mother-Daughter Communication About Sex: The Influence of Authoritative Parenting Style. Health Communication, 27: 439-448; 2012
• Bahr, S. J., & Hoffmann, J. P. (2010). Parenting Style, Religiosity, Peers, and Adolescent Heavy Drinking. Journal Of Studies On Alcohol & Drugs, 71(4), 539-543.
• Castrucci, B.C. & Gerlach, K.K. (2006) Understanding the Association Between Authoritative Parenting and Adolescent Smoking. Maternal and Child Health Journal, Vol. 10, No. 2.
References• Coccia, C., Darling, C. A., Rehm, M., Cui, M., & Sathe, S.
K. (2012). Adolescent Health, Stress and Life Satisfaction: The Paradox of Indulgent Parenting. Stress & Health: Journal Of The International Society For The Investigation Of Stress, 28(3), 211-221. doi:10.1002/smi.1426
• Dowling, C., Smith, A. & O'Leary, S. (2009). Understanding preemptive parenting: relations with toddlers' misbehavior, overreactive and lax discipline, and praise. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 38(6), pp. 850-857. DOI: 10.108015374410903258983. personality, and social development, chapter 1, pages 1–101. New York: Wiley, 4th edition ISBN 978-0-471-09065-6
References• Laukkanen, J., Ojansuu, U., Tolvanen, A., Alatupa, S. &
Aunola, K. (2014). Child’s difficulty temperament and mother’s parenting styles. Journal of Children and Family Studies, 23, p. 312-323.
• Maccoby, E. E and Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent–child interaction. In P. Mussen and EM Hetherington, editors, Handbook of Child Psychology, volume IV: Socialization, personality, and social development, chapter 1, pages 1–101. New York: Wiley, 4th edition ISBN 978-0-471-09065-6
• Mence, M., Hawes, D. Morgan, S., Barnatt, B., Kohlhoff, K., & Hunt, C. (2014). Emotional flooding and hostile discipline in families of toddlers with disruptive behavior problems. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(1), pp. 12-21. DOI: 10.1037/a0035352.
top related