eq for leadership

11

EQ for Leadership

Andy Ng CA MBA

Business Coach & TrainerAsia Trainers

www.asiatrainers.com

22

Your Business Coach Andy NgYour Business Coach Andy Ng• CA with MBA from UKCA with MBA from UK• 29 years in training, 29 years in training,

consultancy and coachingconsultancy and coaching• Former Director of Finance & Former Director of Finance &

HR of Japanese MNC Allied HR of Japanese MNC Allied Telesis International (Asia)…Telesis International (Asia)…

• Specializes on 3 topics: Specializes on 3 topics: Sales, Executive & Sales, Executive & ManagementManagement

• Also leading a team of 4 in a Also leading a team of 4 in a global e-commerce businessglobal e-commerce business

www.facebook.com/AndyTheCoach

33

Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Videos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachVideos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachFaceBook: FaceBook: www.fb.com/AndyTheCoachwww.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1www.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1

Join My Private Group 4321

44

My Articles, Videos, Courses, Profile at www.asiatrainers.com

5555

Quality of Leadership Quality of Leadership = Quality of Team= Quality of Team

66

1. Why most leaders are leaning, not leading: Leadership and Self Deception

2. How to Get Out of the Box: Lead with EQ 3.3. Emotional Intelligence: doing your testEmotional Intelligence: doing your test The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-

personal, Adaptability, Stress Management personal, Adaptability, Stress Management and General Moodand General Mood

Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Self-ActualizationSelf-Actualization

Interpersonal Realms: EmpathyInterpersonal Realms: Empathy4.4. What to Do When people don’t follow you?What to Do When people don’t follow you?

EQ for LeadershipEQ for Leadership

77

Why People Don’t Do What You Say?Why People Don’t Do What You Say?

88

1. We see Others as Objects, not people

2. We stay ‘in the box’ by seeing things as self-justifying images

• See people who challenge these images as threats as those who reinforce these images as allies

3. We deceive ourselves by focusing on ourselves

4. Result: Low effectiveness

99

True Leaders Make True Leaders Make People Better than ThemselvesPeople Better than Themselves

1010

Definition of Emotional Definition of Emotional IntelligenceIntelligence

IQ is a measure of a person’s intellectual, analytical,

logical and rational abilities. It concerns verbal, spatial,

visual and mathematical skills

EQ is a measure of your skills other than IQ

1111

1212

Mindful or Mind full?

1313

Assertive in 3 Tools of Communication

Direct Words with Ownership

Firm Voice with Lower Tone

Look into the Eyes, Stable Posture

1414

3 Ways to Be Assertive3 Ways to Be Assertive1.1. Know Your FeelingsKnow Your Feelings2.2. Communicate Your Communicate Your

FeelingsFeelings

3.3. EmpathizeEmpathize

Don’t Pretend Don’t Pretend Attendee FluAttendee Flu

Use ‘I’ not ‘You’Use ‘I’ not ‘You’ Factual Descriptions, not Factual Descriptions, not

judgments or exaggerationsjudgments or exaggerations Express thoughts, feelings or Express thoughts, feelings or

opinions reflecting ownershipopinions reflecting ownership Use clear, direct requests or Use clear, direct requests or

directives instead of hinting or directives instead of hinting or presumingpresuming

ListenListenCase: Despite countless teachings, your colleague still makes the same mistake in quotation. How do you tell her with such impact so that she will not repeat the mistake again?

1515

Self Regard vsSelf Esteem

1616

Living Your

Dreams or Living In

Your Dreams?

1717

1818

1919

EmpathyEmpathy• Not Sympathy or Pity• Feeling with a person and

understands his feelings from that person’s perspective

• How to Improve Your Empathy? Take away your Pride and Sense of Righteousness

2020

Even if you have no empathy towards another person, do not

think bad about them

Your Thoughts about himYour Thoughts about himwill affect how he treats you …will affect how he treats you …

A simple experiment …

2121

Simple Way to have EmpathySimple Way to have Empathy

2222

DISC Behavioural

2323

2424

Reality Testing: What Do You See Here?Reality Testing: What Do You See Here?

2626

2727

2828

Is All Stress Bad?Is All Stress Bad?Moderate levels of stress actually improves Moderate levels of stress actually improves performance and efficiency: Positive Stress performance and efficiency: Positive Stress called Eustresscalled Eustress

Too little stress results in boredomToo little stress results in boredom

Too much stress may cause an Too much stress may cause an unproductive anxiety levelunproductive anxiety level

Do Not Eliminate Stress, Do Not Eliminate Stress, Manage It InsteadManage It Instead

2929

Optimum WorkOptimum Work

AbilitiesAbilities

Burnout

Bored

ChallengesChallenges

Find the Optimum Balance Find the Optimum Balance Between Challenges and AbilitiesBetween Challenges and Abilities

3030

Start

Success

Failure

Perturbation

Positive Quit

Break Through

3131

3232

3333

3434

Self-Coach for Daily Happiness Self-Coach for Daily Happiness

1. What are you grateful for today? 3 things ….

2. What are you saying to yourself when things go wrong?

3. What can you let go? People? Bad feelings? Bad memory?

4. What good do you see in others? How can you leverage on them?

5. What can you do for others?

3535

Daily Affirmation for Happiness Daily Affirmation for Happiness

1. I am fulfilled and joyful2. I am the source of my own

happiness3. I am at peace with myself and

others4. I love to smile5. I am cheerful and blissful

3636

37373737

Top 10 Ways to Develop Your EITop 10 Ways to Develop Your EI1. 1. Label Your Feelings (not people or situation)Label Your Feelings (not people or situation)2. 2. Distinguish Between Your Thought and Feelings (“I feel Distinguish Between Your Thought and Feelings (“I feel

like” vs “I feel”)like” vs “I feel”)3. 3. Take 100% Responsibility for Your Feelings (“I feel Take 100% Responsibility for Your Feelings (“I feel

jealous” vs “You’re making me jealous”)jealous” vs “You’re making me jealous”)4. 4. Be Passionate and Yet Understand Others’ Feelings Be Passionate and Yet Understand Others’ Feelings

Toward Your PassionToward Your Passion5. 5. Respect Other People’s Feelings (there’s always a reason Respect Other People’s Feelings (there’s always a reason

behind what they do)behind what they do)6. Turn Anger into Energy6. Turn Anger into Energy7.7. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodSeek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood8.8. Ask “What If” Questions instead of merely “Why”Ask “What If” Questions instead of merely “Why”9.9. Don’t Criticize without Acknowledge FirstDon’t Criticize without Acknowledge First10.10. Use Your Ultimate Power: Choose Your FeelingsUse Your Ultimate Power: Choose Your Feelings

3838

Whatever the SituationWhatever the Situation

Make People Think and Feel They Make People Think and Feel They Are Smarter than You Are Smarter than You

3939

The 7 Most Common The 7 Most Common SituationsSituations

Leading: Tell and CorrectLeading with EQ: Ask for Feedback

Leading: AssignLeading with EQ: Attract people to Volunteer

Leading: Push for DeadlinesLeading with EQ: Pull people

Leading: Set Goals and Ask people to HitLeading with EQ: Guide people to set their own goals and achieve rewards

4040

The 7 Most Common The 7 Most Common SituationsSituations

Leading: Mark performanceLeading with EQ: Make performance

Leading: Resolve conflictsLeading with EQ: Restore relationships

Leading: Manage serviceLeading with EQ: Lead service

Ask yourself this question: am I getting people to do better than what they think they can?

4141

Another 4 Common Another 4 Common SituationsSituations

Leading: Tell and CorrectLeading with EQ: Ask for Feedback

Leading: Ask what’s wrongLeading with EQ: Ask what’s right

Leading: Follow blindly Leading with EQ: Right understanding first

Leading: Get Hardworking people do moreLeading with EQ: Inspire people, systemize, leverage, re-structure, self-service etc

4242

What to Do When Others Don’t Follow You?What to Do When Others Don’t Follow You?

1.1. Re-examine Yourself – are you a Real Leader or Just Re-examine Yourself – are you a Real Leader or Just a Pusher?a Pusher?

2.2. If there is nothing wrong with you, do you have the If there is nothing wrong with you, do you have the right team? Is your team trained on Followership?right team? Is your team trained on Followership?

3.3. Do you have the right vision?Do you have the right vision?4.4. Do you have enough action? (e.g. too much ‘soft’ Do you have enough action? (e.g. too much ‘soft’

skills, not enough specific skills)skills, not enough specific skills)

SW-SW-SW – Enjoy the JourneySW-SW-SW – Enjoy the Journey

4343

1. Why most leaders are leaning, not leading: Leadership and Self Deception

2. How to Get Out of the Box: Lead with EQ 3.3. Emotional Intelligence: doing your testEmotional Intelligence: doing your test The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-

personal, Adaptability, Stress Management personal, Adaptability, Stress Management and General Moodand General Mood

Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Self-ActualizationSelf-Actualization

Interpersonal Realms: EmpathyInterpersonal Realms: Empathy4.4. What to Do When people don’t follow you?What to Do When people don’t follow you?

EQ for LeadershipEQ for Leadership

4444

Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Videos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachVideos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachFaceBook: FaceBook: www.fb.com/AndyTheCoachwww.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1www.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1

Thank You, See You Again!