eq for leadership
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EQ for Leadership
Andy Ng CA MBA
Business Coach & TrainerAsia Trainers
www.asiatrainers.com
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Your Business Coach Andy NgYour Business Coach Andy Ng• CA with MBA from UKCA with MBA from UK• 29 years in training, 29 years in training,
consultancy and coachingconsultancy and coaching• Former Director of Finance & Former Director of Finance &
HR of Japanese MNC Allied HR of Japanese MNC Allied Telesis International (Asia)…Telesis International (Asia)…
• Specializes on 3 topics: Specializes on 3 topics: Sales, Executive & Sales, Executive & ManagementManagement
• Also leading a team of 4 in a Also leading a team of 4 in a global e-commerce businessglobal e-commerce business
www.facebook.com/AndyTheCoach
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Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Videos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachVideos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachFaceBook: FaceBook: www.fb.com/AndyTheCoachwww.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1www.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1
Join My Private Group 4321
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Quality of Leadership Quality of Leadership = Quality of Team= Quality of Team
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1. Why most leaders are leaning, not leading: Leadership and Self Deception
2. How to Get Out of the Box: Lead with EQ 3.3. Emotional Intelligence: doing your testEmotional Intelligence: doing your test The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-
personal, Adaptability, Stress Management personal, Adaptability, Stress Management and General Moodand General Mood
Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Self-ActualizationSelf-Actualization
Interpersonal Realms: EmpathyInterpersonal Realms: Empathy4.4. What to Do When people don’t follow you?What to Do When people don’t follow you?
EQ for LeadershipEQ for Leadership
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Why People Don’t Do What You Say?Why People Don’t Do What You Say?
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1. We see Others as Objects, not people
2. We stay ‘in the box’ by seeing things as self-justifying images
• See people who challenge these images as threats as those who reinforce these images as allies
3. We deceive ourselves by focusing on ourselves
4. Result: Low effectiveness
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True Leaders Make True Leaders Make People Better than ThemselvesPeople Better than Themselves
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Definition of Emotional Definition of Emotional IntelligenceIntelligence
IQ is a measure of a person’s intellectual, analytical,
logical and rational abilities. It concerns verbal, spatial,
visual and mathematical skills
EQ is a measure of your skills other than IQ
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Mindful or Mind full?
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Assertive in 3 Tools of Communication
Direct Words with Ownership
Firm Voice with Lower Tone
Look into the Eyes, Stable Posture
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3 Ways to Be Assertive3 Ways to Be Assertive1.1. Know Your FeelingsKnow Your Feelings2.2. Communicate Your Communicate Your
FeelingsFeelings
3.3. EmpathizeEmpathize
Don’t Pretend Don’t Pretend Attendee FluAttendee Flu
Use ‘I’ not ‘You’Use ‘I’ not ‘You’ Factual Descriptions, not Factual Descriptions, not
judgments or exaggerationsjudgments or exaggerations Express thoughts, feelings or Express thoughts, feelings or
opinions reflecting ownershipopinions reflecting ownership Use clear, direct requests or Use clear, direct requests or
directives instead of hinting or directives instead of hinting or presumingpresuming
ListenListenCase: Despite countless teachings, your colleague still makes the same mistake in quotation. How do you tell her with such impact so that she will not repeat the mistake again?
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Self Regard vsSelf Esteem
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Living Your
Dreams or Living In
Your Dreams?
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EmpathyEmpathy• Not Sympathy or Pity• Feeling with a person and
understands his feelings from that person’s perspective
• How to Improve Your Empathy? Take away your Pride and Sense of Righteousness
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Even if you have no empathy towards another person, do not
think bad about them
Your Thoughts about himYour Thoughts about himwill affect how he treats you …will affect how he treats you …
A simple experiment …
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Simple Way to have EmpathySimple Way to have Empathy
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DISC Behavioural
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Reality Testing: What Do You See Here?Reality Testing: What Do You See Here?
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Is All Stress Bad?Is All Stress Bad?Moderate levels of stress actually improves Moderate levels of stress actually improves performance and efficiency: Positive Stress performance and efficiency: Positive Stress called Eustresscalled Eustress
Too little stress results in boredomToo little stress results in boredom
Too much stress may cause an Too much stress may cause an unproductive anxiety levelunproductive anxiety level
Do Not Eliminate Stress, Do Not Eliminate Stress, Manage It InsteadManage It Instead
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Optimum WorkOptimum Work
AbilitiesAbilities
Burnout
Bored
ChallengesChallenges
Find the Optimum Balance Find the Optimum Balance Between Challenges and AbilitiesBetween Challenges and Abilities
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Start
Success
Failure
Perturbation
Positive Quit
Break Through
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Self-Coach for Daily Happiness Self-Coach for Daily Happiness
1. What are you grateful for today? 3 things ….
2. What are you saying to yourself when things go wrong?
3. What can you let go? People? Bad feelings? Bad memory?
4. What good do you see in others? How can you leverage on them?
5. What can you do for others?
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Daily Affirmation for Happiness Daily Affirmation for Happiness
1. I am fulfilled and joyful2. I am the source of my own
happiness3. I am at peace with myself and
others4. I love to smile5. I am cheerful and blissful
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Top 10 Ways to Develop Your EITop 10 Ways to Develop Your EI1. 1. Label Your Feelings (not people or situation)Label Your Feelings (not people or situation)2. 2. Distinguish Between Your Thought and Feelings (“I feel Distinguish Between Your Thought and Feelings (“I feel
like” vs “I feel”)like” vs “I feel”)3. 3. Take 100% Responsibility for Your Feelings (“I feel Take 100% Responsibility for Your Feelings (“I feel
jealous” vs “You’re making me jealous”)jealous” vs “You’re making me jealous”)4. 4. Be Passionate and Yet Understand Others’ Feelings Be Passionate and Yet Understand Others’ Feelings
Toward Your PassionToward Your Passion5. 5. Respect Other People’s Feelings (there’s always a reason Respect Other People’s Feelings (there’s always a reason
behind what they do)behind what they do)6. Turn Anger into Energy6. Turn Anger into Energy7.7. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodSeek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood8.8. Ask “What If” Questions instead of merely “Why”Ask “What If” Questions instead of merely “Why”9.9. Don’t Criticize without Acknowledge FirstDon’t Criticize without Acknowledge First10.10. Use Your Ultimate Power: Choose Your FeelingsUse Your Ultimate Power: Choose Your Feelings
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Whatever the SituationWhatever the Situation
Make People Think and Feel They Make People Think and Feel They Are Smarter than You Are Smarter than You
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The 7 Most Common The 7 Most Common SituationsSituations
Leading: Tell and CorrectLeading with EQ: Ask for Feedback
Leading: AssignLeading with EQ: Attract people to Volunteer
Leading: Push for DeadlinesLeading with EQ: Pull people
Leading: Set Goals and Ask people to HitLeading with EQ: Guide people to set their own goals and achieve rewards
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The 7 Most Common The 7 Most Common SituationsSituations
Leading: Mark performanceLeading with EQ: Make performance
Leading: Resolve conflictsLeading with EQ: Restore relationships
Leading: Manage serviceLeading with EQ: Lead service
Ask yourself this question: am I getting people to do better than what they think they can?
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Another 4 Common Another 4 Common SituationsSituations
Leading: Tell and CorrectLeading with EQ: Ask for Feedback
Leading: Ask what’s wrongLeading with EQ: Ask what’s right
Leading: Follow blindly Leading with EQ: Right understanding first
Leading: Get Hardworking people do moreLeading with EQ: Inspire people, systemize, leverage, re-structure, self-service etc
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What to Do When Others Don’t Follow You?What to Do When Others Don’t Follow You?
1.1. Re-examine Yourself – are you a Real Leader or Just Re-examine Yourself – are you a Real Leader or Just a Pusher?a Pusher?
2.2. If there is nothing wrong with you, do you have the If there is nothing wrong with you, do you have the right team? Is your team trained on Followership?right team? Is your team trained on Followership?
3.3. Do you have the right vision?Do you have the right vision?4.4. Do you have enough action? (e.g. too much ‘soft’ Do you have enough action? (e.g. too much ‘soft’
skills, not enough specific skills)skills, not enough specific skills)
SW-SW-SW – Enjoy the JourneySW-SW-SW – Enjoy the Journey
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1. Why most leaders are leaning, not leading: Leadership and Self Deception
2. How to Get Out of the Box: Lead with EQ 3.3. Emotional Intelligence: doing your testEmotional Intelligence: doing your test The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-The 5 Realms of EQ: Intra-personal, Inter-
personal, Adaptability, Stress Management personal, Adaptability, Stress Management and General Moodand General Mood
Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Intrapersonal Realms: Self-awareness, Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Assertiveness, Self-regard, Independence and Self-ActualizationSelf-Actualization
Interpersonal Realms: EmpathyInterpersonal Realms: Empathy4.4. What to Do When people don’t follow you?What to Do When people don’t follow you?
EQ for LeadershipEQ for Leadership
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Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Blog: www.AndyNgTrainer.blogspot.sg Videos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachVideos: www.youtube.com/AndyNgCoachFaceBook: FaceBook: www.fb.com/AndyTheCoachwww.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1www.slideshare.net.AndyTheCoach1
Thank You, See You Again!