each life has its place: lgbta young adults in the united methodist church chett pritchett, minister...

Each Life Has Its Place:LGBTA Young Adults in The United Methodist Church

Chett Pritchett,

Minister to Students and Young Adults

The United Church, Washington, DC

Definitions:-LGBTA/YA: I use this term because many of the issues that face LGBT young adults and their allies are also issues facing non-LGBTA young adults

-Queer: a complex word with many meanings – but is heavily used as an “in” word among LGBTA young adults.

Psychosocial Development

Young adults ≠ “older youth”; 18 year olds magically become adults.

Erik Erikson’s study of psychosocial development across age ranges: Each stage plays a role in the development of personality and psychological skills.

If for any reason there is a halt in development at any of these stages, it becomes more and more difficult to fully progress to through the other stages.

Key Issues for Young Adults

Intimacy vs. Isolation This is a time in which relationships are

developed; we learn how to deal with rejection; Young adults build community with one another;

they form familial bonds; begin to explore generative work (vocation).

When one is unable (for whatever reason), to find intimacy, the process of isolation can occur.

Key Issues for LGBT Young Adults Many LGBT/YAs have similar issues as their

counterparts – but what, if we adhere to Erickson’s model, in the LGBT context might make it difficult to move easily from Adolescence to Young Adulthood?

identity

differentiationRE(a)Lationships

am I a good person?

cultural rules and regulations

self-awareness

confidencerole models

Our Role as Leaders of the Church

Engage LGBT/YAs in moving from Adolescence and through Young Adulthood.

Pastoral – through differentiation, exploration of identity and vocation

Communal – providing opportunities for young adults to share and create experiences

with one another Prophetic – to proclaim and seek justice for

LGBTA/YAs

The World of Young Adults Culture of Technology, Culture of Options,

Culture of the Overwhelmed. Heavily focused on experience Grown up with gay and lesbian personalities Out teachers, parents of classmates Post-Matthew Shepard/Fred Phelps

Views of Young Adults RegardingSexuality and Gender

American Values Survey 2006

Young Adults (18-29) lead the support for LGBT

rights regardless of their religious perspective. Marriage rights: 44% Marriage rights with Religious Liberty Assurance: 60% 63% of Young Adults support gay and lesbian adoption,

compared to 37% over the age of 60 This is not just cultural or religious:

-45% of Evangelical respondents

-59% of Latin/Hispanic respondents

-51% of African American respondents

Source: American Values Survey; http://media.pfaw.org/pdf/cav/AVSReport.pdf

Barna Group

An across-the-board perception that Christians are hypocritical, judgmental, and anti-homosexual.

Sources: http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=BarnaUpdate&BarnaUpdateID=280

and http://www.generalconference2008.org/

Young Adults across the country have vastly progressive views regarding sexual identity than previous generations – and it doesn’t matter what their theological orientation is.

WHYAREN’T THEY IN OURCHURCHES?

LGBT Young Adultwho has left the Church

LGBT Ally who has left the Church

Non-LGBTA, but a Young Adult, who has left the Church

Perception ProblemAccording to Betty Butterfield

Open internet browser and paste this URL address-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRYp936G14A&feature=relate

d

Confuse chatting and shaking hands with being welcoming

Organist is blaring tired-a** church hymns Preaching attempts to relate to our lives, but

doesn’t really achieve that goal Methodists lack identity: “wishes to be

Episcopalian, they just couldn’t pass the test” Typical Middle of the road – “they don’t want to

offend nobody”

Even progressive United Methodists have a

perception problem:

-all Methodists are the same – tough to overcome

- boring, stuffy;

- haven’t started thinking about worship, outreach, Christian formation as if it were the 21st Century

- too excited to get young adults involved;(need for “young blood” to take over the tasks deemed necessary by a different generation).

These are issues that LGBT/YAs, whether insiders or outsiders, consider when making the important decision of seeking out a home for faith.

Philosophical quandaries

Key to this perception problem is that the philosophical constructs of young adults are different than any other generation previous.

Postmodern - a simplistic definition: a way of being in which the path of knowledge is not through a set of concrete truths; old ways of being are deconstructed and given new meanings dependent upon context.

“spiritual but not religious”

Is there a difference? More than 1/5 of Americans describe

themselves this way Difference between “public” faith and “private”

faith Rejection of traditional, organized religion

Source: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/109/story_10958_1.html

Who are these people?

More than likely, they are college educated Those who have grown up in the Church, but

have left: PKs, victims of clergy sexual and emotional

abuse, progressives who equate the Church with conservative values

Those who don’t allow doctrine to define their faith journey

HOWAREWEOVERCOMINGTHE PERCEPTIONPROBLEM?

We cannot expect LGBT/YAs to walk into our congregations just because we're reconciling or have a banner welcoming all people or have a hip, cool pastor. And if we do get them in our doors, we can't expect them to stay.

Three Key Areas

Hospitality

Outreach

Retention

Hospitality

More than coffee hour and handshaking, it’s a way of life;

Caring about people as people – not as “new blood” or “fresh faces”

Recognizing that young adults value narrative - they have a story to tell and are willing to listen

Focusing on the needs of LGBT/YAs in your Church and community

Outreach

Beyond the Four Walls A congregation and pastoral staff must be

willing to engage with the community – not just reaching out, but going out and bringing in.

Begin with what we have already: Building Tradition Passion

Outreach Ideas approach PFLAG, Pride

Committees, and other LGBTA groups an offer low cost or FREE meeting space in the church building;

host a concert of a musician with an LBGT/YA following

donate funds from a Rummage Sale to such an organization and invite their BOD to Church;

encourage a mission project of the congregation be with an organization with LGBTA clientele

ask staff/key leadership to attend a “Safe Space” training; host this training for others churches, businesses, schools, etc. in your neighborhood.

Advertise in unlikely places Use the technology:

Church Website Facebook/MySpace Blogging YouTube

Retention Factors that affect YA

participation in a ministry:

-increased school/work load-family obligations-today's economic reality

(working 2-3 jobs to get insurance/pay rent)

-more transient nature of workforce – especially in the Washington Metro area – length of stay is 3-5 years;

Based on Tribal Church: Ministering to the Missing Generation, Carol Howard Merritt; Alban Institute, 2007.

Don't be discouraged if YA participation doesn't always reach your desired level

Retention

Know each of the YA in your ministry – meet with them one on one. Try to meet with them at least once a quarter - their lives change frequently and you'll want to know about their lives (and they want you to know.)

After listening (REALLY LISTENING) to them, ask them about their passions and gifts and how those might be used in the life of the congregation.

Connecting and ConnectionsYoung adults build community with one another;

they form familial bonds; begin to explore generative work (vocation).

-Ministry with LGBT/YA is first and foremost about creating a space for community to exist.

-It is also about allowing for space to find passions and vocations – and understanding that people will often leave the community or explore other passions.

-Can their time in our communities be formative and generative?

Each Life Has Its Place:LGBTA Young Adults in The United Methodist Church

Chett Pritchett,

Minister to Students and Young Adults

The United Church, Washington, DC