anger management. i feel… furious spiteful grouchy frustrated enraged annoyed irritated mad irate...

Anger Management

I feel…

FuriousSpiteful

GrouchyFrustrated

EnragedAnnoyed

IrritatedMad

Irate

ANGRY

What is Anger?

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage."

- Charles Spielberger, PhD

How do you experience anger?

How do you feel it physically and emotionally?

What changes do you notice in yourself when you become angry?

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Complete the checklist on the next slide.

Anger Symptoms Checklist * Check off those that apply to you

Physical Symptoms Emotional Symptoms Symptoms adapted from the following website: http:/ / www.lifewatcheap.com/poc/ view_doc.php?type=doc&id=5812&cn=116

Increased heart rate

Muscle tension

Sweating/ feeling hot

Shallower/ faster breathing

Clenched jaw

Grinding of teeth

Headache

Stomachache

Shaking or trembling

Dizziness

Want to pace

Feel as though you need a drink or a cigarette

Feel like crying

Want to yell

Short with others

Anxious

Sad

Guilty

Resentful

Lose sense of humor

Withdraw from others or shut down

Are there other ways you experience anger internally?

__________________________

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Think about these reactions.

Are they good for you—your health?

your relationships? Your success at

school and in life?

Why do we get angry?

“We are predisposed to become angry when we appraise an event or a person as a threat to one of our basic needs such as food or shelter, or more mature needs such as identity, recognition, achievement, and social affiliation.”

– Dr. Weisinger’s Anger Work-out Book, p. 31

Appraisal

Part of what makes us angry is how we appraise or interpret situations.

Sometimes we misinterpret situations as threatening when in actuality they are not.

When do you get angry?

When was the last time

you were angry?

Day/week: _____________________

Time: _________________________

Place: _________________________

What was happening in the hours before you became angry?

______________________

____________________________________________

______________________

______________________

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What was your mood before you became angry?

__________________________

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What occurred right before you became angry?

_________________________

_________________________

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_________________________

Psychologists often call that “right before” event a “trigger.”

The scene has been set by previous events and your mood, and then something triggers your response of anger.

For example, maybe you have had a bad morning…got up late and felt groggy, spilled coffee and had to change your shirt, tired from the day before, a little worried about a paper you need to write…and then, the trigger: someone cuts you off in traffic.

Understanding Triggers

Recognizing there has been a series of precursors to the anger can reduce the impact of the trigger.

And, knowing your specific triggers can help you respond differently when they occur the next time.

What are your triggers?

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Thoughts Matter

Triggers are accompanied by thoughts, including thoughts that you have so quickly that they are almost automatic and you may not even notice them.

Back to your example…

What thoughts did you have

about the event just before

becoming angry?______________________________

______________________________

______________________________

______________________________

Brainstorming

The thoughts that lead to anger often involve feeling treated unfairly.

While calm, brainstorm other ways to think about the situation to help prepare yourself for the next time it occurs

Replace Maladaptive Thoughts

Instead of Joe did that on purpose to make me look bad, you might think, Joe is trying his best, but he still has room to grow.

Instead of Chris is always late and makes me wait, you might think, Chris has trouble being on time; from now on, I’ll just meet her at class.

Now You Try

Usual thought that leads to anger

_______________________________

New way of thinking about it

_______________________________

_______________________________

How Do You Act When Angry?

How do you typically act when angry?

__________________________

__________________________

__________________________

? Do you…

Show it on your face?Grit your teeth?Grin?Turn red?Criticize the “cause”

of your anger?Physically attack the

“cause” of your anger?

Curse or Swear?Walk out?Withdraw from

others?

Yell or Shout?Complain?Clench your fists?Make aggressive

gestures?Threaten others?Punch or Throw

objects?Stomp your feet?Slam doors?Brood?

Aggression

These are aggressive behaviors. Aggression and anger are not the same thing. People act aggressively for a purpose, such as showing others their anger, intimidating others, getting a feeling of relief….

Avoiding

Sometimes people avoid others when they are angry so they won’t show the anger or take it out on others. This can be helpful at times, but it can also lead to isolation and passivity--not dealing with problems, so never solving them.

What are the Effects of Your Actions?

What usually occurs after you react to your own anger?

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What are the short term effects?_________________________________________________________________________________

For example:Do you experience relief? Do you become angrier? Depressed?Does your anger influence other situations you encounter or your interactions with

others?

? What are the long term effects?

For example:Do you become angry again in a similar

situation?Do you continue to experience the same

problem as before?Are there significant long term effects, such as

lost friendships or jobs, a drinking problem, or a court appearance?

Negative Aspects of Anger

Anger may lead to muddled thinking or impulsive action

Anger can cause confusion as to where the true problem lies

Anger can lead to aggression or avoidance

** Based on: The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities 2 Secondary Assembly Script 7, Topic 4A, Managing Anger

Can Anger be a Positive? Although anger is often viewed as a

negative feeling, it can be used in a positive way…Anger provides cues that there is a problemAnger provides energy and can help motivate

actionAnger encourages the expression of feelings

** Based on - The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities 2 Secondary Assembly Script 7, Topic 4A, Managing Anger

Positive Relief

Anger feels uncomfortable. There are ways to relieve it that are not destructive. Taking some time before reacting can be constructive—not aggression, not avoidance, just a break before deciding how to handle things that have led to the anger.

Time Out Ways to ease feelings of anger

Take a walk or engage in some other physical activity Perform a relaxation exercise (e.g. meditation,

progressive relaxation, etc.) Read a book Listen to music Watch television Talk to or call a friend Write in your journal Complete chores

What ideas do you have?

Practicing Relaxation Progressive relaxation

** Adapted from: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmond J. Bourne, PhD

Take 3 deep abdominal breaths and imagine the tension leaving your body as you exhale

Clench your fists and hold for up to 10 seconds (use this amount of time for each muscle group). Release.

Tighten your biceps. Release. Tighten your triceps. Release.

Continue to follow the directions above for each muscle group making sure you include muscles in your face, shoulders, and core, and continue to breathe deeply.

Practicing Relaxation

You can also envision yourself in a setting you find peaceful

Make sure you envision the scene in great detail

You do not have to limit yourself to reality

** Adapted from: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmond J. Bourne, PhD

Use the Anger

Let anger be your friend. Listen to it. What is the problem you are encountering? Is it related to the preceding situations or moods? Why is the trigger powerful over you?

What steps can you take to figure out the problem?

Addressing the Problem

Once you have figured out the problem, you can figure out how to address it. Do you need to rearrange your schedule? Learn time management skills? Talk with someone about your interactions? End a bad relationship? Find a major you like better?