Activated September 2009

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<ul><li> 1. change your life. change your world. Vol 10 Issue 9 NEW WORLDSTO DISCOVER Loves endless adventureUnder Construction Temporary troubles, long-term gains Whos the Boss?The answer could save your marriage </li></ul><p> 2. Browse our website or contact one of thedistributors below to enjoy the inspirational, Vol 10, Issue 9motivational, and practical help offered inour books and audiovisual material.www.activated.orgActivated MinistriesPO Box 462805 personally speakingEscondido, CA 920462805USAToll-free: 18778623228 A stray dog moved into the Smiths neigh-Email: info@actmin.org borhood the same day the Joneses moved inwww.activatedonline.com next door, and the dog immediately began Activated Europe to wreak havoc, scrounging in trashcans and tearing up flowerbedsBramingham Pk. Business Ctr. in both yards. The Smiths were irked that the Joneses had broughtEnterprise Way such a nuisance into the neighborhood, and the Joneses found itLuton, Beds. LU3 4BUUnited Kingdom inexcusable that the Smiths made no attempt to control their dog.+44 (0) 845 838 1384 For several weeks neither couple said anything to the other, while Email: activatedEurope@activated.org bad feelings festered on both sides. Finally Ms. Smith could stand Activated Africa no more and gave Ms. Jones a piece of her mind. Oh, Ms. JonesP.O. Box 2150 replied, we thought it was your dog! Westville 3630 Often the things that sour relationships are like that dogmoreSouth Africa+27 (83) 556 8213 a matter of misunderstandings or small irritations that get blownEmail: activatedAfrica@activated.org out of proportion than actual wrongdoing on anyones part. Usually Activated India all it takes to set things right is better communication, but someoneP.O. Box 5215 has to make the first move, and thats not always easy. Both parties,G.P.O. convinced that theyre right or unwilling to admit that theyre not, Bangalore 560 001 lock themselves into their positions. Barriers go up. Relationships go IndiaEmail: activatedIndia@activated.org bad. Everyone suffers.Activated Philippines Where can we find the humility to admit weve been in theP.O. Box 1147 wrong, or the love and grace to forgive and forget when weve been Antipolo City P.O. wronged? Where can we find the wisdom to turn a no-win situ- 1870 Antipolo City ation into a win-win situation, the strength to buck our stubbornPhilippinesCell: (0922) 8125326 nature, or the courage to make the first move? All these and moreEmail: activatedPI@activated.org are at our disposal anytime, whatever we need, when we need it, inActivated Australia unlimited supply, free of charge. Every good and every perfect gift +61 2 8011 4345 is from above.1 Ask, and it will be given you.2 Like all of the other Email: info@activated.org.au best things in life, the most successful relationships begin with thewww.activated.org.au ultimate relationshipheart to heart communion with the livingEditor Keith Phillips God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.3Design Yoko Matsuoka May He bless you with His very best, always and in all ways.Giselle LeFavreProduction Jessie RichardsKeith Phillips 2009 Aurora Production AG For Activated www.auroraproduction.comAll Rights ReservedPrinted in Taiwan by Ji Yi Co., Ltd. James 1:17 NIV 13 1Timothy 6:17O All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are takenfrom the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas 2 Matthew 7:7Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.2 3. UNDER CONSTRUCTION The day finally came when the constant jackhammering stopped, the large yellow machines were hauled away one by one, and By Christina Andreassen the barricades with their red- lettered signs and flashing orange The bold red letters glared at us as we crawled along inlights were carted off to the next bumper-to-bumper traffic, maneuvering between potholes and gravelly construction site. ditches that had turned what was once smooth pavement into an The next week we made our obstacle course. UNDER CONSTRUCTION! Noise, dirt, sweat-usual trip to the orphanage, and as soaked workers, and clogged roads had been part of our lives since theusual I braced myself for the long city began a road-expansion project several months earlier. Traffic had ride. A minute or two later Dad always been notoriously bad in this part of sprawling Bangkok, but it maneuvered our pickup onto an was worse now.entry ramp and suddenly we wereBarricades had gone up, squeezing three-lane traffic into a single racing above the snarl of city traf- lane. The diggers came next, tearing up the asphalt and clunkingfic below. The newly constructed and shuddering as they worked around the clock. Construction dust flyover, with its smooth surface covered everything. Our hour- and intersection-free lanes, took long commutes into town tookus to the orphanage in a record twice as long, while we stalled and time of fifteen minutes. chafed in exhaust fumes and dust. On the way home, as we onceWhy do they have to doagain sped above the clogged construction here? I routinely streets and honking cars, Dad complained to my dad on our broke the silence. Do you still weekly trips to give Englishwish they hadnt done construc- lessons at an orphanage near thetion here? center of town. It makes life so Of course not! I replied, sud- inconvenient and confusing fordenly realizing that the temporary everyone!inconvenience we had livedDad, having long ago outgrownthrough was nothing compared the notion that the world existed to the benefits that would now be to cater to him, would glance enjoyed for years. sympathetically in my directionLife is full of construction and say nothing.sites, Dad said. Learn to beEventually I becamethankful for them and be patient. accustomed to the noise and God is in the process of turning inconvenience, and Dad andeach one into something better. I discovered that the car was a great place to catch up on little Christina Andreassen is bits of each others lives that wea member of the Family had missed in the bustle of our International in the Middle busy days.East. 1 3 4. NEW WORLDS TO DISCOVER By David Brandt BergYou learn to put their needs before your own, and in the process you Our lives involve all sorts ofalso realize things about yourself relationships. In fact, relating to that you never knew before. people is largely what life is about. A key asset to a good Relationships, when based on therelationship is honest, open right foundation and growing in communication. Be honest aboutIt is natural, after a while, for the right direction, are wonderful, your feelings, your needs, and couples to think they know each rewarding experiences. Each new what you like or dont like. Share other inside out and therefore relationship also brings with ityour desires, hopes, goals, andneed to communicate less. Some an exciting new set of challenges dreams. Communication will helpcouples even stop communicating and surprises. And of course no you avoid misunderstandings andaltogether. But the truth is that relationships are as challengingsolve many problems while they two people cant know each other or full of surprises as romanticare still small. well enough to stop communi- relationships.You have to know what to say,cating and not have problems,Opening your life to thathow to say it, when to say it, and because people change. Everyone special someone is like opening even whether to say it. But if you has somewhat different needs the door to a vast new worldbuild the bond between you onand thinks somewhat differently beyond what youve known so far.that kind of communication, andtoday than they did a year ago, or You discover the world throughif you keep at it through the years, a month ago, or even yesterday. anothers eyes; you feel the worldthen love will thrive. So if a couple stops sharing their through their emotions; you view minds and hearts because they the world from a different per- It takes tIme andthink theyve got everything spective. Now you have not only practIce to learn to befigured out already, they will miss your own but also their feelings, open and honest wIth these changes. When that hap- opinions, and preferences toanother person , whIle pens, each person begins to think consider. You discover what makes also beIng consIderate that the other one doesnt under- them tick and how they think. and wIse . stand them, and that may be true;maybe they understood them lastyear or last month or last week,but they wont understand themtoday unless they communicate.Better communication canmake the difference between acold, drab, routine, humdrumexistence and a warm, loving, funrelationship. No matter how new or howold a relationship, theres alwayssomething new to discover! 14 5. whostheboss?By Maria FontaineWhen people ask forcan fix anything. He loves you so much that He gave His life for you, advice regarding their so you know your happiness is important to Him. Ive found that He marriage or budding love always has a plan to bring wonderful things out of each test in our lives. relationship, I often tell them that Sometimes we go through long, dark tunnels, but we always come out the most important thing is to let on the other side as long as we keep following Jesus. Jesus be the boss. No matter howLook to Him for guidance, and have faith that He can and wants to much two people love each othergive you solutions to your problems and disagreements. In some form and no matter how much theyor another, those solutions will always come down to love, humility, have in common, they are going prayer, and communicationthe four most effective problem-solving to have some disagreements.tools ever. When that happens, the surest You let Jesus be the boss by communicating with Him through way to know whats right is to prayer, first of all. Take your problems and differences to Him, and let ask the highest authority. If both Him speak to your heart about them, either directly or through His partners are willing to let Jesuswritten Word. Then act on what He shows you. Thats where the love, make the decisions, they can avoid humility, and better communication between you and your loved one the friction and resentment that come in, as well as more prayer for Jesus to make whatever inward undermine many relationships.changes you each need.Maybe the one you love has As you do your part, Jesus will reward your faith. He will change done things that have hurt you.circumstances for you improve things, encourage you, and strengthen Maybe you feel he or she doesnt your spirits. If things seem to be progressing slowly dont give up. Keep understand you or isnt meetingtrusting Him to come through for you, and He will bless you with a your needs. Maybe you feel guiltyhappy, fulfilling relationship. 1 about mistakes youve made or pain youve caused. Maybe a lack of communication has created Solutions will always a gulf that seems impossible to bridge. No matter what yourcome down to love, difficulty or circumstances, Jesus has the answers. humility, prayer, andHe knows your heart and exactly what you need, and Hecommunication 5 6. Can I stay with you tonight? Carlos asked After listening for a while, we suggested that the in a trembling voice. Hed had a terrible argument best thing he could do was stop blaming her or any- with his wife, he explained over the phone, andbody else for his problems. We also explained that he couldnt return home. My wife and I knew that most of his troubles seemed to stem from misplaced Carlos had already been going through a very dif-prioritiestoo much emphasis on having a good ficult time in his life. To begin with, hed hoped totime and not enough on the deeper, more important be promoted to general manager of the company he things of life. worked for, but the job had gone to someone else. A God doesnt send us troubles just to see us suffer, few days later hed been involved in a traffic accident, I told Carlos. But He sometimes allows us to suffer though fortunately no one was injured. Now this! the consequences of our wrong choices because He Everything seemed to be going wrong. knows that often thats the only time we will sin-I invited him over, and before he arrived, my wifecerely pray, when we are in trouble. Sometimes He and I prayed for Jesus to help us encourage him, has to send trouble our way so well change. When as well as for wisdom in how to advise him in this bad things happen, we turn to Him for help, pray personal situation, if he should ask for that. and read His Word more, and try harder to followWhen he arrived, we could see that he felt truly hopeless. Hed had a second car accident the night before, it turned out, and this time the car had been totally demolished. Now his wife was really upset.Carlos wasWhen he had gotten it all out, we asked him why he thought all these things were happening to exchanging his him. At first all he could do was complain about his wife and how she was always nagging him about happy married life his drinking. She keeps after me about it. I think she just doesnt want me to have a good time! he for a glass of whisky said. He clearly couldnt understand her justifiable concerns about his drinking.6 7. Carlos reCreatedBy Samuel Cordon what His Word says. By getting back on track, doing At that, Carlos burst into tears and told us that our best to love Him and do what He says, we make nobody had ever talked to him that way before, it possible for Him to give us His full blessing. but he thought I was right. As we talked more, heHe doesnt expect us to be perfect, I continued. became determined to change and to try to make up What counts is whether or not we are sincerely try-for the harm he had caused. ing to do whats best. When we are, Hell do His best We read a few appropriate passages from the Bible to take care of us and protect us and make us happy,and several devotional books, and my wife and I but sometimes He has to send bad times our way to prayed with him for God to help him stop drinking make us stop and listen to Him.and to bring about a real and lasting change in hisCarloss drinking seemed to be the main reason life. his wife was so upset with him, and it was about to A few days later when my wife and I visited cost him his marriage, so I told him how the Lord Carlos at his office, he was beaming! He gave us had delivered me from dependence on alcohol years each a big hug and said, God has changed me! I earlier, and that he could also be delivered. cant thank Him and you enough for helping me getCarloss situation reminded me of the storystraightened out! He went on to tell us how every- of Esau in the Bible, when Esau had been so thing had improved in his relationship with his wife, hungry and so short-sighted that he traded hisand how happy they were now. entire inheritance for a bowl of his brother JacobsWere so thankful for the change God brought in stew.1 I related that story to Carlos, and explainedCarloss life. He never fails when we pray! how I thought it applie...</p>